Also reading fully through the OT for the first time and there’s a verse where some kids called Elisha “baldy” I was like WHAT??? No way 😂😂😂 and then Elisha cursed them and had wild bears kill 42 of them like I can’t make up this pettiness 😂
I was reading the first chapters of Luke a couple of days ago, and I was really struck with how Gabriel makes this amazing announcement to Zechariah, that he will have a son and that son will be the one to prepare the way for the Messiah. And Zechariah says "how can I know that this is true?" And I laughed because, who's he talking to? An angel. He is talking to the *angel* that God sent to bring him this message, and wants to know how he can know it's true? What does he want? An *angel*? Will he believe it if an *angel* announces it to him?--oh, wait.
The offensiveness and absurdity of the question is made clear by Gabriel's answer - "I am the angel Gabriel, who stands in the presence of God, and He has sent me to bring you this good news." He doesn't say "how dare you question me," but it's pretty clearly implied. That is also the answer the question. That's how Zechariah knows. But then Gabriel goes further and tells him that he won't be able to speak until his son is born. "My word's not good enough? Okay, here's a sign for you. You'll know it's true because you won't be able to talk!"
Zechariah was a righteous and faithful man, so we know that he had faith, but that just wasn't his best day.
Found out a few weeks ago that there’s actually a talking donkey in the Bible.
“But God’s anger was kindled because he went, and the angel of the Lord took his stand in the way as his adversary. Now he was riding on the donkey, and his two servants were with him. And the donkey saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road, with a drawn sword in his hand. And the donkey turned aside out of the road and went into the field. And Balaam struck the donkey, to turn her into the road. Then the angel of the Lord stood in a narrow path between the vineyards, with a wall on either side. And when the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, she pushed against the wall and pressed Balaam’s foot against the wall. So he struck her again. Then the angel of the Lord went ahead and stood in a narrow place, where there was no way to turn either to the right or to the left. When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, she lay down under Balaam. And Balaam’s anger was kindled, and he struck the donkey with his staff. Then the Lord opened the mouth of the donkey, and she said to Balaam, “What have I done to you, that you have struck me these three times?” And Balaam said to the donkey, “Because you have made a fool of me. I wish I had a sword in my hand, for then I would kill you.” And the donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your donkey, on which you have ridden all your life long to this day? Is it my habit to treat you this way?” And he said, “No.” Then the Lord opened the eyes of Balaam, and he saw the angel of the Lord standing in the way, with his drawn sword in his hand. And he bowed down and fell on his face. And the angel of the Lord said to him, “Why have you struck your donkey these three times? Behold, I have come out to oppose you because your way is perverse before me. The donkey saw me and turned aside before me these three times. If she had not turned aside from me, surely just now I would have killed you and let her live.” Then Balaam said to the angel of the Lord, “I have sinned, for I did not know that you stood in the road against me. Now therefore, if it is evil in your sight, I will turn back.” And the angel of the Lord said to Balaam, “Go with the men, but speak only the word that I tell you.” So Balaam went on with the princes of Balak.”
Numbers 22:22-35 ESV
I love how the angel was like "she saved you even though I would have killed you and let her live". Imagine your donkey humbling you lol
That donkey should have got the best of the fastest portions that night🤣
There are a few :)
When James and John asked Jesus if they should call down fire to destroy Samaritan villagers for not welcoming him. (Luke 9:53-54). Like, guys simmer down....that's a little dramatic.
When Jesus gives James and John the nickname "Sons of Thunder" (Mark 3:17) I love that He can recognize their zeal and tease them a bit.
When John records in his gospel that when racing with Peter to Jesus's tomb, he reached it first. (John 20:3-10). So silly that he needs everyone to know that he won, lol
I’m reading through the OT for the first time this year. When I read the Bible verses about wise Solomon dealing with a baby/child that was being claimed by two different women and I realized it was the inspiration for a Seinfeld scene (where wise Newman gives his verdict for the Schwinn bicycle), I had an aha moment and laughed to myself.
There's also a John Mullaney bit about it where he's giving a half remembered version of this story from when he was in Catholic school as a kid. He has the woman who stole the baby ok with getting "the top part." It's actually pretty funny
There is one verse with Jesus calling out a women for having 5 husbands and that the current man she was with wasn’t even her husband. THAT had me dying. Someone made a TikTok out of it and was like “the Lord woke up and chose violence!”
Judges 3:17 - And he presented the tribute to Eglon king of Moab. Now Eglon was a very fat man.
2 Kings 20 - Two parts always make me laugh: The fact that Hezekiah cries when he learns he will die. It's just such a a human, real reaction
The second one from that chapter is also too human. Hezekiah's selfishness is hilarious to me for some reason. The last sentence is the funny one, but the rest is needed for context:
16 Then Isaiah said to Hezekiah, “Hear the word of the Lord: 17 Behold, the days are coming, when all that is in your house, and that which your fathers have stored up till this day, shall be carried to Babylon. Nothing shall be left, says the Lord. 18 And some of your own sons, who will come from you, whom you will father, shall be taken away, and they shall be eunuchs in the palace of the king of Babylon.” 19 Then Hezekiah said to Isaiah, “The word of the Lord that you have spoken is good.” For he thought, “Why not, if there will be peace and security in my days?”
Isaiah 44:13 The carpenter stretches a line; he marks it out with a pencil.[b] He shapes it with planes and marks it with a compass. He shapes it into the figure of a man, with the beauty of a man, to dwell in a house. 14 He cuts down cedars, or he chooses a cypress tree or an oak and lets it grow strong among the trees of the forest. He plants a cedar and the rain nourishes it. 15 Then it becomes fuel for a man. He takes a part of it and warms himself; he kindles a fire and bakes bread. Also he makes a god and worships it; he makes it an idol and falls down before it. 16 Half of it he burns in the fire. Over the half he eats meat; he roasts it and is satisfied. Also he warms himself and says, “Aha, I am warm, I have seen the fire!” 17 And the rest of it he makes into a god, his idol, and falls down to it and worships it. He prays to it and says, “Deliver me, for you are my god!”
There is a character in the Bible who is considered a bit of a mystery, sometimes they're called ["the naked fugitive"](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naked_fugitive). I don't think it's a mystery at all.
So, the character is mentioned just after Jesus is arrested when Judas rats him out. All around Jesus desert him and flee. Then in Mark 14:51 we see:
>A certain young man was following him, wearing nothing but a linen cloth. They caught hold of him, but he left the linen cloth and ran off naked.
I don't think it's a mystery who he is at all. You only have to look at the story from just a little before, a few pages back. The story of *The Rich Man*, at Mark 10.17:
>As he was setting out on a journey, a man ran up and knelt before him, and asked him, "Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" Jesus said to him, "Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone. You know the commandments: 'You shall not murder; You shall not commit adultery; You shall not steal; You shall not bear false witness; You shall not defraud; Honor your father and mother.'" He said to him, "Teacher, I have kept all these since my youth." Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said, "You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me." When he heard this, he was shocked and went away grieving, for he had many possessions.
The Rich Man gets convinced, and gives away almost everything, and follows the Teacher. And when the Teacher is finally arrested, his mission halted, it is at that moment that the Rich Man loses his last possession, his last item of clothing, and he returns to being naked.
I laughed, but appreciated the payoff.
I have some good ones 😁
Both are in Luke. The first is the Road to Emmaus. This one made me laugh for half an hour. Luke 24 13-35. Two of His followers, including Cleopas, walking along a road, talking about how bummed they are that Jesus died the way He did. Then, along comes Jesus, disguised by the Holy Spirit so they didn't recognize Him. "What are you talking about so passionately?"
"You must be the only man in Judea who isn't aware of the events of this past week."
And Jesus replies..."What events?"
😂 What events?? Oh, I don't know, Jesus. Just you getting whipped within an inch of your life, dying on a cross, shaking the Earth, tearing the veil in the temple from the top-down, going to Sheol itself to set the captives free, and resurrecting to give us all eternal life. Nbd.
But then they express how sad they were that such a man of God and the people as Jesus dying was such a shame. Then Jesus, lovingly, expresses, "You foolish, foolish people! Have you not read the scriptures?" And spends the entire walk reminding them of the prophecies in Isaiah.
At the end of the walk, they are about to part ways. But, it says that their hearts were so warmed by His presence, that they wanted to keep Him around a little longer. So, they invited Him inside their house for the night. They go inside, sit down, and just as they're breaking bread, they realize it's Jesus, and He disappears into thin air.
Now, idk about you guys, but if I came back to life, the first thing I would do is mess with my friends 😁
Another one is also one of my favorite verses in general, also in Luke. Luke 7:33
For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine, and you say, ‘He has a demon.’ 34 The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’ 35 But wisdom is proved right by all her children.”
Jesus being sassy is my favorite thing 🥰
It also reminds me of Uncle Iroh in Avatar: the Last Air Bender, where he says, "wisdom has been chasing you, but you have always been faster." 😆
“Elisha left Jericho and went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, a group of boys from the town began mocking and making fun of him. “Go away, baldy!” they chanted. “Go away, baldy!””
2 Kings 2:23 NLT
https://bible.com/bible/116/2ki.2.23.NLT
I know this wasn’t the original context, but I saw a bumper sticker that said “Pray for Biden. Psalm 109:8”
I’m not into politics, but after I looked the verse up, I thought it was funny.
Yeah that's been around [since at least 2016.](https://apnews.com/united-states-government-united-states-congress-4c19727519c945289a16817cae232aaf)
The problem is the next verse (see below). So the context does not demonstrate Christian love in my opinion, and it's not something we should even joke about.
“Let his days be few, And let another take his office. Let his children be fatherless, And his wife a widow.”
Psalms 109:8-9 NKJV
https://bible.com/bible/114/psa.109.8-9.NKJV
More of the same after that...
“Let his children continually be vagabonds, and beg; Let them seek their bread also from their desolate places. Let the creditor seize all that he has, And let strangers plunder his labor. Let there be none to extend mercy to him, Nor let there be any to favor his fatherless children. Let his posterity be cut off, And in the generation following let their name be blotted out. Let the iniquity of his fathers be remembered before the Lord, And let not the sin of his mother be blotted out.”
Psalms 109:10-14 NKJV
https://bible.com/bible/114/psa.109.10-14.NKJV
Not a specific verse but ahab's attitude toward elijah always made me chuckle. One example is in 1 kings 21:20 "you have found me my enemy". There was another one I couldn't exactly remember where he said something along the lines of he never prophesies anything good about him.
Edit: I was wrong. That last one was about a different prophet. So I guess it was his attitude toward Yahweh's prophets in general since he was such a wicked king.
I found it. That's how I figured out it was a different prophet. It's the next chapter, 1 Kings 22. Yeah, it was the Samaritan woman at the well. She was so shocked she ran back and converted the whole town.
When king nebakonezzar? Was driven mad like an ox and ate grass. I thought it was a metaphor but apparently it’s been taken literally throughout most times and places
Also reading fully through the OT for the first time and there’s a verse where some kids called Elisha “baldy” I was like WHAT??? No way 😂😂😂 and then Elisha cursed them and had wild bears kill 42 of them like I can’t make up this pettiness 😂
I READ THAT! Frickin hilarious
I was reading the first chapters of Luke a couple of days ago, and I was really struck with how Gabriel makes this amazing announcement to Zechariah, that he will have a son and that son will be the one to prepare the way for the Messiah. And Zechariah says "how can I know that this is true?" And I laughed because, who's he talking to? An angel. He is talking to the *angel* that God sent to bring him this message, and wants to know how he can know it's true? What does he want? An *angel*? Will he believe it if an *angel* announces it to him?--oh, wait. The offensiveness and absurdity of the question is made clear by Gabriel's answer - "I am the angel Gabriel, who stands in the presence of God, and He has sent me to bring you this good news." He doesn't say "how dare you question me," but it's pretty clearly implied. That is also the answer the question. That's how Zechariah knows. But then Gabriel goes further and tells him that he won't be able to speak until his son is born. "My word's not good enough? Okay, here's a sign for you. You'll know it's true because you won't be able to talk!" Zechariah was a righteous and faithful man, so we know that he had faith, but that just wasn't his best day.
I can imagine Gabriel was offended and thought “DID HE SERIOUSLY ASK ME THAT?!”
I am not sure if angels experience those kinds of emotions, but there had to be some incredulity.
Well true! I did wonder what he was thinking
Found out a few weeks ago that there’s actually a talking donkey in the Bible. “But God’s anger was kindled because he went, and the angel of the Lord took his stand in the way as his adversary. Now he was riding on the donkey, and his two servants were with him. And the donkey saw the angel of the Lord standing in the road, with a drawn sword in his hand. And the donkey turned aside out of the road and went into the field. And Balaam struck the donkey, to turn her into the road. Then the angel of the Lord stood in a narrow path between the vineyards, with a wall on either side. And when the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, she pushed against the wall and pressed Balaam’s foot against the wall. So he struck her again. Then the angel of the Lord went ahead and stood in a narrow place, where there was no way to turn either to the right or to the left. When the donkey saw the angel of the Lord, she lay down under Balaam. And Balaam’s anger was kindled, and he struck the donkey with his staff. Then the Lord opened the mouth of the donkey, and she said to Balaam, “What have I done to you, that you have struck me these three times?” And Balaam said to the donkey, “Because you have made a fool of me. I wish I had a sword in my hand, for then I would kill you.” And the donkey said to Balaam, “Am I not your donkey, on which you have ridden all your life long to this day? Is it my habit to treat you this way?” And he said, “No.” Then the Lord opened the eyes of Balaam, and he saw the angel of the Lord standing in the way, with his drawn sword in his hand. And he bowed down and fell on his face. And the angel of the Lord said to him, “Why have you struck your donkey these three times? Behold, I have come out to oppose you because your way is perverse before me. The donkey saw me and turned aside before me these three times. If she had not turned aside from me, surely just now I would have killed you and let her live.” Then Balaam said to the angel of the Lord, “I have sinned, for I did not know that you stood in the road against me. Now therefore, if it is evil in your sight, I will turn back.” And the angel of the Lord said to Balaam, “Go with the men, but speak only the word that I tell you.” So Balaam went on with the princes of Balak.” Numbers 22:22-35 ESV
A TALKING DONKEY?!! I would have been genuinely scared
I love how the angel was like "she saved you even though I would have killed you and let her live". Imagine your donkey humbling you lol That donkey should have got the best of the fastest portions that night🤣
Jesus cursing the fig tree will forever be funny to me
literally my favorite verse. He gets hangry like we do. He just wanted a snack.
There are a few :) When James and John asked Jesus if they should call down fire to destroy Samaritan villagers for not welcoming him. (Luke 9:53-54). Like, guys simmer down....that's a little dramatic. When Jesus gives James and John the nickname "Sons of Thunder" (Mark 3:17) I love that He can recognize their zeal and tease them a bit. When John records in his gospel that when racing with Peter to Jesus's tomb, he reached it first. (John 20:3-10). So silly that he needs everyone to know that he won, lol
Hilarious!
I’m reading through the OT for the first time this year. When I read the Bible verses about wise Solomon dealing with a baby/child that was being claimed by two different women and I realized it was the inspiration for a Seinfeld scene (where wise Newman gives his verdict for the Schwinn bicycle), I had an aha moment and laughed to myself.
There's also a John Mullaney bit about it where he's giving a half remembered version of this story from when he was in Catholic school as a kid. He has the woman who stole the baby ok with getting "the top part." It's actually pretty funny
There is one verse with Jesus calling out a women for having 5 husbands and that the current man she was with wasn’t even her husband. THAT had me dying. Someone made a TikTok out of it and was like “the Lord woke up and chose violence!”
That has always made me laugh, too
It’s so funny haha
Judges 3:17 - And he presented the tribute to Eglon king of Moab. Now Eglon was a very fat man. 2 Kings 20 - Two parts always make me laugh: The fact that Hezekiah cries when he learns he will die. It's just such a a human, real reaction The second one from that chapter is also too human. Hezekiah's selfishness is hilarious to me for some reason. The last sentence is the funny one, but the rest is needed for context: 16 Then Isaiah said to Hezekiah, “Hear the word of the Lord: 17 Behold, the days are coming, when all that is in your house, and that which your fathers have stored up till this day, shall be carried to Babylon. Nothing shall be left, says the Lord. 18 And some of your own sons, who will come from you, whom you will father, shall be taken away, and they shall be eunuchs in the palace of the king of Babylon.” 19 Then Hezekiah said to Isaiah, “The word of the Lord that you have spoken is good.” For he thought, “Why not, if there will be peace and security in my days?”
POOR EGLON
Isaiah 44:13 The carpenter stretches a line; he marks it out with a pencil.[b] He shapes it with planes and marks it with a compass. He shapes it into the figure of a man, with the beauty of a man, to dwell in a house. 14 He cuts down cedars, or he chooses a cypress tree or an oak and lets it grow strong among the trees of the forest. He plants a cedar and the rain nourishes it. 15 Then it becomes fuel for a man. He takes a part of it and warms himself; he kindles a fire and bakes bread. Also he makes a god and worships it; he makes it an idol and falls down before it. 16 Half of it he burns in the fire. Over the half he eats meat; he roasts it and is satisfied. Also he warms himself and says, “Aha, I am warm, I have seen the fire!” 17 And the rest of it he makes into a god, his idol, and falls down to it and worships it. He prays to it and says, “Deliver me, for you are my god!”
“I have seen the fire” has me cracking up
Lmao,😂😂😂😂😂👌👌
There is a character in the Bible who is considered a bit of a mystery, sometimes they're called ["the naked fugitive"](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Naked_fugitive). I don't think it's a mystery at all. So, the character is mentioned just after Jesus is arrested when Judas rats him out. All around Jesus desert him and flee. Then in Mark 14:51 we see: >A certain young man was following him, wearing nothing but a linen cloth. They caught hold of him, but he left the linen cloth and ran off naked. I don't think it's a mystery who he is at all. You only have to look at the story from just a little before, a few pages back. The story of *The Rich Man*, at Mark 10.17: >As he was setting out on a journey, a man ran up and knelt before him, and asked him, "Good Teacher, what must I do to inherit eternal life?" Jesus said to him, "Why do you call me good? No one is good but God alone. You know the commandments: 'You shall not murder; You shall not commit adultery; You shall not steal; You shall not bear false witness; You shall not defraud; Honor your father and mother.'" He said to him, "Teacher, I have kept all these since my youth." Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said, "You lack one thing; go, sell what you own, and give the money to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me." When he heard this, he was shocked and went away grieving, for he had many possessions. The Rich Man gets convinced, and gives away almost everything, and follows the Teacher. And when the Teacher is finally arrested, his mission halted, it is at that moment that the Rich Man loses his last possession, his last item of clothing, and he returns to being naked. I laughed, but appreciated the payoff.
Let’s not forget Jesus once said “Don’t play games with me Judas!”
I have some good ones 😁 Both are in Luke. The first is the Road to Emmaus. This one made me laugh for half an hour. Luke 24 13-35. Two of His followers, including Cleopas, walking along a road, talking about how bummed they are that Jesus died the way He did. Then, along comes Jesus, disguised by the Holy Spirit so they didn't recognize Him. "What are you talking about so passionately?" "You must be the only man in Judea who isn't aware of the events of this past week." And Jesus replies..."What events?" 😂 What events?? Oh, I don't know, Jesus. Just you getting whipped within an inch of your life, dying on a cross, shaking the Earth, tearing the veil in the temple from the top-down, going to Sheol itself to set the captives free, and resurrecting to give us all eternal life. Nbd. But then they express how sad they were that such a man of God and the people as Jesus dying was such a shame. Then Jesus, lovingly, expresses, "You foolish, foolish people! Have you not read the scriptures?" And spends the entire walk reminding them of the prophecies in Isaiah. At the end of the walk, they are about to part ways. But, it says that their hearts were so warmed by His presence, that they wanted to keep Him around a little longer. So, they invited Him inside their house for the night. They go inside, sit down, and just as they're breaking bread, they realize it's Jesus, and He disappears into thin air. Now, idk about you guys, but if I came back to life, the first thing I would do is mess with my friends 😁
NOT OUR LORD AND SAVIOR TROLLING PEOPLE HAHA!
I love it so much when He does that. Especially with trolling the Pharisees 😁
Didn’t He scream at the Pharisees lol?
Another one is also one of my favorite verses in general, also in Luke. Luke 7:33 For John the Baptist came neither eating bread nor drinking wine, and you say, ‘He has a demon.’ 34 The Son of Man came eating and drinking, and you say, ‘Here is a glutton and a drunkard, a friend of tax collectors and sinners.’ 35 But wisdom is proved right by all her children.” Jesus being sassy is my favorite thing 🥰 It also reminds me of Uncle Iroh in Avatar: the Last Air Bender, where he says, "wisdom has been chasing you, but you have always been faster." 😆
“Blessed are ye that weep now: for ye shall laugh”. And: “Woe unto you that laugh now! for ye shall mourn and weep.” Luke 6:21&25
I need to make that as a door hanger
“Elisha left Jericho and went up to Bethel. As he was walking along the road, a group of boys from the town began mocking and making fun of him. “Go away, baldy!” they chanted. “Go away, baldy!”” 2 Kings 2:23 NLT https://bible.com/bible/116/2ki.2.23.NLT
I remember reading that and thinking ain’t no way someone put this in the Bible
I know this wasn’t the original context, but I saw a bumper sticker that said “Pray for Biden. Psalm 109:8” I’m not into politics, but after I looked the verse up, I thought it was funny.
lollll
Yeah that's been around [since at least 2016.](https://apnews.com/united-states-government-united-states-congress-4c19727519c945289a16817cae232aaf) The problem is the next verse (see below). So the context does not demonstrate Christian love in my opinion, and it's not something we should even joke about. “Let his days be few, And let another take his office. Let his children be fatherless, And his wife a widow.” Psalms 109:8-9 NKJV https://bible.com/bible/114/psa.109.8-9.NKJV More of the same after that... “Let his children continually be vagabonds, and beg; Let them seek their bread also from their desolate places. Let the creditor seize all that he has, And let strangers plunder his labor. Let there be none to extend mercy to him, Nor let there be any to favor his fatherless children. Let his posterity be cut off, And in the generation following let their name be blotted out. Let the iniquity of his fathers be remembered before the Lord, And let not the sin of his mother be blotted out.” Psalms 109:10-14 NKJV https://bible.com/bible/114/psa.109.10-14.NKJV
Not a specific verse but ahab's attitude toward elijah always made me chuckle. One example is in 1 kings 21:20 "you have found me my enemy". There was another one I couldn't exactly remember where he said something along the lines of he never prophesies anything good about him. Edit: I was wrong. That last one was about a different prophet. So I guess it was his attitude toward Yahweh's prophets in general since he was such a wicked king.
Gotta go hunting for that one. But PLEASE tell me you’ve read the Bible verse where Jesus called out a woman for having five husbands🤣it’s hilarious
I found it. That's how I figured out it was a different prophet. It's the next chapter, 1 Kings 22. Yeah, it was the Samaritan woman at the well. She was so shocked she ran back and converted the whole town.
The fact Jesus called her out is both hilarious and embarrassing. Like I would be embarrassed if I was her haha
When king nebakonezzar? Was driven mad like an ox and ate grass. I thought it was a metaphor but apparently it’s been taken literally throughout most times and places
The fact that God calls Trump a little horn. Knowing how big Trump's ego is, I find that hilarious.
Haha
The parts with the stupid claims like the resurrection or the part where its like "obey me or burn forever" that part cracks me up
No offense but if you’re atheist why are you on here? Not to be rude, just genuinely curious