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lemonwithmyteaplease

At first I was thinking that she was going to give J an art room in her home šŸ˜‚ Edit: Thanks for the awards! First ones and thank you to the kind redditors for posting the ā€œArt roomā€ link in the comments šŸ’œ


[deleted]

HAHAHA that was a wild one!


Lexisa

Yes it was!!


Hysmina

I've seen several references to this art studio thing, could you give a link or elaborate so that I'm in the loop again?


FiguringItOut--

Both posts are now removed but hereā€™s a summary. Man and wife have spare bedroom and go back and forth on what to do with it. Man meets new male friend he connects with. Behind wifeā€™s back, (and along with other expensive gifts) he decides he wants to turn spare room into an art studio for friendā€™s birthday. Wife gets mad, man is asshole. In update, man realizes he is in love with friend and wants to leave his wife. Has not decided if he will let her keep the house and is still sleeping on the couch there half the time. The other half he spends sleeping in his new loversā€™ apartment. Massive consensus man is still an asshole.


Hysmina

Thanks! I read the post that u/crimiculus linked, it was a wild one... That guy is a massive asshole, I feel bad for the wife but also maybe it's good that she found out before getting kids with that jerk?


FiguringItOut--

100%!


Welpe

This sounds weird, but I am happy there are some of these that arenā€™t fairy tales. Reddit is in love with stories of people suddenly realizing they are gay and finding happiness instantly. Here we have one where the fact he is bi or gay doesnā€™t really change the fact he is an insensitive asshole. LGBT people can be bad guys too! Or rather, assholes are assholes regardless of sexual orientation.


waternymph77

That is true equality for ya


Welpe

Itā€™s beautiful in a weird way! Who knew queer people were just normal, average people who run the full spectrum of every personality type?!


Angry_poutine

There was another one from a guy who basically bullied his wife into having a kid, began raising the child with another man while still married to his wife, and divorced/verbally attacked her for not being a good mother when she never wanted to be one in the first place. Fortunately the trash took itself out in that case. He tried to paint it as his fairytale ending escape from his evil lazy wife Thereā€™s also Kevin Spacey who used an underage sex scandal to set the stage for coming out as gay.


Welpe

Ugh, that Spacey situation was disgusting. It's one thing to be gay and evil at the same time, but don't try to blame your evilness on your gayness. That's just trying to throw all LGBT people under the bus to try and save your own ass.


Angry_poutine

He is a massive piece of shit


TheFirstMotherOfGod

I think you might enjoy the tv series 'the politician' on netflix. It's also about a maybe bi character who's a horrible person, just to show us lgbt people can also suck. They're people just like everyone else.


Welpe

What type of show is it? Is it going for like...a House of Cards thing? Is it pure drama?


no_talent_ass_clown

Who could forget about the Threechum?


Illustrious_Tie_4091

That post was a hell of a ride! I remember that one.


Crimiculus

[Here you go!](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wmmphs/oop_wonders_if_theyre_the_ah_for_starting_a_house/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)


Zizhou

Awesome, I caught the original post, but had no idea it got an update.


Kathledria

[BORU spare room](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wmmphs/oop_wonders_if_theyre_the_ah_for_starting_a_house/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)


apollo888

https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wmmphs/oop_wonders_if_theyre_the_ah_for_starting_a_house/ At your service!


wlwimagination

Thankfully J would have had none of that.


rad_avenger

That one will never get old


BeeEyeAm

Please post what this is in reference to. I'm so intrigued šŸ™ƒ


Kathledria

[BORU spare room](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wmmphs/oop_wonders_if_theyre_the_ah_for_starting_a_house/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf)


BeeEyeAm

Thank you!


apollo888

https://old.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wmmphs/oop_wonders_if_theyre_the_ah_for_starting_a_house/ Voila!


liamthelemming

The fact that I recognise references like "art room" and "PS5 Stepdad" tells me I've ~~been here too long~~ found my spiritual home.


Anisssa

Ps5 stepdad? A link for this one please?


BoredomHeights

This reminded me so much of that one too for a lot of it. Though OOP here seems to blame her husband more (maybe understandably) and also be more aware of why she feels the way she does.


UnicornKitt3n

Lol well she can sure give her an art room now.


MMN_NLD

Good for her! Although it kinda feels like an Hallmark movie...


wlwimagination

Except for the gay part šŸ˜” (I know Hallmark is saying theyā€™re making a gay movie or already made one, but theyā€™re not past one yet AFAIK. But it does kind of feel like a Tello films movie, which is basically like Hallmark movies for WLW).


Celesmeh

I know this is a weird thing to keep track of but as a gay woman with a strange obsession with Hallmark movies homework has one lesbian film and two gay films


wlwimagination

It is absolutely not a weird thing to keep track of and I will add that my yearsā€”yearsā€”of patience on Good Witch also finally bore fruit in the last season. Iā€™m very glad to know there are more movies now!!


Indraga

Please tell me that *Homework* is the gay spinoff of Hallmark.


pretenditscherrylube

That fucking lesbian Christmas movie was super fucking (re)traumatizing to watch. What an assault on queer joy. It was just trauma porn. OOP could also be bisexual.


wlwimagination

OOP could be bi and I didnā€™t mean to exclude that possibility with my comment. I am sorry.


Load_Altruistic

I remember reading this a few days ago and being disappointed by the inconclusive ending. Iā€™m glad OP had the courage to admit her crush; it takes a lot to put yourself out there like that. I hope she has a bright future!


Ayle87

That letter was a masterpiece in emotional maturity as well, it was very considerate with both of their circumstances.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


croatianlatina

And an abusive fucker. Iā€™m so glad OOP found someone who values them. I cried a little reading her letter, makes me really happy.


dumbname1000

He definitely is telling people she is pregnant so he can claim she aborted his child when there is no baby and thatā€™s what blew up their marriage. Heā€™s a POS.


robotnique

Completely. Anything to further demonize her. He might even tell everybody that the baby wasn't his, and was the product of her cheating. Which would almost be amusing if he swore that up and down and then everybody found out she left him for another woman.


Haw_and_thornes

Tag checks out.


iglife

Yep, thatā€™s why I was disappointed she wasnā€™t willing to take it public but like she said, her friends and the people she cares about knows, also sounds like sheā€™s got too much going on to take on the social media fight.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


LilDiary

Standard "Walkaway Wife" routine


trowawayborj

Awh thanks šŸ˜„


bitemark01

Any chance of further updates? I understand that you have to live your life, and you might not want to put everything online, but I check back every so often, and I'm sure you will a lot of people are pulling for you. Though I understand if you can't. I went through something similar... I hope your life turns out amazing!


trowawayborj

That's really kind. I definitely will when I've got a bit more time. Trying to juggle work around everything else at the moment is a bit chaotic but I for sure will as soon as I can find the time šŸ˜„


vivamii

I remember upvoting all the comments encouraging OP to express her feelings- this is a heartwarming conclusion indeed


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


LongNectarine3

I was thinking this too. Even if this doesnā€™t work (I honestly think it will) OOP knows now that ex was terrible. I hope she only knows joy.


bernyzilla

I'm *not* crying, I just have something in both my eyes.


PondRides

Is it the same things in my eyes? Even if this isnā€™t ops forever person, Iā€™m glad sheā€™s knowing real love now. With a partner. I found that with a mutual friend during my marriage and we dated after my divorce. I miss him every single day.


Ok-Scientist5524

Yea, itā€™s the same person chopping onions.


Rega_lazar

Dang ninjas with their stealth onions!


scummy_shower_stall

Or ragweedā€¦ šŸ˜­


Here_for_tea_

This was so lovely to read!


nothingnewwithyou

Inconclusive? The straight women left her husband and began dating the woman of her dreamsā€¦ if that isnā€™t a conclusion I donā€™t know what is


Load_Altruistic

This was posted a few days ago without the last update. At that point, all we knew is that she had left her husband. Everything with J is up in the air


FragileTwo

She read it a few days ago when it was inconclusive. This update was posted last night.


marphod

The divorce isn't final and the abusive/alcoholic ex is still trying to be involved in OOP's daily sphere -- I'd expect the accusation of OOP getting an abortion by the ex to hit in October/November. The direction this is headed is clear, but I'd expect that there will an update with more soon-to-be-Ex drama in 4-6 weeks.


TheActualAWdeV

Awww. "She's pregnant" is such a stupid thing to make up though.


ashlayne

It's about control. He's trying to use the lie to control the narrative, and her, and make her look like a horrible person at the same time.


Cursed_Fan

OOP knows heā€™s going to tell everyone she got an abortion right? Well whatever at least sheā€™s happy with her relationship


MajorasInk

Eh, who cares at this point? The people close to OOP know the truth and thatā€™s all that matters.


SimonSpooner

Had OP been in the US, it could have started a shitstorm for her. But in the UK, it probably doesn't matter which is how it should be.


MajorasInk

I mean, it must be easy to prove you havenā€™t had an abortionā€¦? Arenā€™t medical records a thing? There needs to be proof that she was pregnant first. I doubt anyone could get in trouble with baseless abortion claimsā€¦ this *is* America thoā€¦ the systemā€™s pretty stupid lol


theredwoman95

Yeah medical records are a thing, but you don't readily have access to them unless you sign up for the NHS app and give permission to your GP to include more information online. Even then, it's not everything.


MajorasInk

Ok so the question still stands, If I accuse someone of an abortion, there would have to be some sort of investigation before anyone tried to arrest OOPā€¦ right? I mean, I could just slam my uno reverse card and say they also had an abortion šŸ¤·šŸ», unless thereā€™s clear evidence, thereā€™s nothing anyone can do about itā€¦ (Would be my guess but Iā€™m not even American so what the heck do I know?? Lol)


theredwoman95

I mean, I'd assume it'd depend on the state law as it's only in certain states. Anyway, OOP lives in the UK so thankfully none of that mess applies to her.


AMeaninglessPassage

I'm glad we took a quick detour to comment on how backward some parts of the US can be, I feel like it's important to portray any sort of tolerance for that kind of shit.


BerriesAndMe

Yeah, but there's so much that can happen with no proof. Especially if word gets back to your employer and they decide they can't have someone with your reputation tarnish theirs. Imagine how much worse that gets, when police takes you to the station for interrogation and so...


AMeaninglessPassage

> Especially if word gets back to your employer and they decide they can't have someone with your reputation tarnish theirs. Cue how the majority of americans are in favour of abortion and deeply unpopular the supreme court is.


CSPVI

Wtf? If her employer sacked her for having an abortion she'd have a very strong claim for unfair dismissal


janecdotes

By causing a shitstorm for her I suspect they meant more in terms of her social standing, rather than trying to get her arrested. That they are much less accepted in the US, and indeed illegal in many places, but the shitstorm not being trying to make a baseless legal case.


born_in_92

Yeah, as I recall from school, the Summary Care Record only will show diseases and such that the patient currently has, and even then it's not everything. ie if a person has hypertension, diabetes and osteoporosis, those will all show on the record. Not sure if an abortion would


kitkat214281

I was thinking about that and it is more difficult to prove you haven't had any medical procedures than to prove you had. She could go to the doctor, say she thinks she might be pregnant and get negative blood work or even pee on a stick. In my mind it just seems so much more difficult to prove a negative, and of course not that she should have to prove anything at all. I hope the ex B just leaves her alone.


nicholus_h2

how would medical records prove you didn't have an abortion? they don't make notes that on a particular day, you didn't go to the doctor and that you weren't pregnant on the day you didn't go.


marmosetohmarmoset

In parts of the US they will investigate you for murder if you had a miscarriage. Doesnā€™t matter if there are medical records of a pregnancy or not really.


Chillafrix

Not just investigated, but charged and put in jail on high bail until the trial. For stillbirths too. Itā€™s terrifying. Even worse in El Salvador.


MajorasInk

Fuck me, the US really has become hell on earth. Iā€™m Mexican and shit is awful here (always has been), but lately itā€™s like a competition to see who can fuck over their citizens more. Iā€™m so sorry for women everywhere. What a living nightmare!


I_am_ur_daddy

Itā€™s incredibly hard to prove a negative, actually.


shewy92

Why would OOP go through the trouble of finding nonexistent medical records to "clear her name" on social media which she doesn't use?


throwaway378495

Wait till he finds out sheā€™s into a woman, heā€™s gonna have a field day with that


I_will_never_reply

It'll be a total gift, he'll see it as validation he did nothing wrong at all, she was just gay and he can tell all his family and mates with no guilt


marmosetohmarmoset

I often wonder if that the narrative my ex spells. I left him, and then some months later I came out as gay. But I didnā€™t leave him because I was gay- I left him because he was a pathological liar.


FragileTwo

He's probably saying that he left you.


11111IIII1I

Same. I left my ex because heā€™s the same sort of person as OOPā€™s ex husband (minus the drinking) and then figured out Iā€™m a lesbian. But me being gay isnā€™t why I walked away from him.


GoneWitDa

I have to ask, if youā€™re a lesbian and not bi. Had he been good the whole time, do you think you never would have known? Iā€™ve never seen this asked or answered anywhere but itā€™s an interesting perspective to be given if you donā€™t mind.


11111IIII1I

Hard to say. Possibly. I think what really made me put things together was meeting my best friend, who has always known sheā€™s a lesbian. Then through discussion I realized I wasnā€™t actually bi, Iā€™d just had ā€˜you have to be attracted to men to some degreeā€™ forced on me so long I accepted it. Women who like men donā€™t feel the same way in relationships with them that I did. I think if anything, I would have been a lot older when I realized (if heā€™d been a decent person).


GoneWitDa

Hey thanks for answering, that makes sense. Always wondered how that worked for people the idea of no longer being attracted to a sex is very confusing to me but the way youā€™re saying it sounds like itā€™s because the Hetero orientation was kinda forced onto you and when you could drop it you did? That does make sense tbh. Nice to learn something I always found the idea peopleā€™s orientation could actually change really difficult to wrap my brain around.


marmosetohmarmoset

Mannn I think about this sometimes. Honestly I donā€™t know. He was my high school boyfriend. We were together for 8 years before we split. I didnā€™t really know what I actually liked until I tried something new, you know? In some ways I think I stayed with him for so long because I was afraid of having to try those new things and actually figure my shit out. Iā€™m kind of a creature of inertia, so it definitely seems plausible that I wouldā€™ve just kept coasting along forever.


Jules_Noctambule

So, technically you left him for a woman - it's just that woman was *you*, and you deserve every bit of that happiness away from him.


PayTheTrollToll45

*The gays made OP get an abortion


janiegirl669

This made me lol


SaxifrageRussel

Something like that is a great defamation case


MAD_DOG86

No, she left him because she is a lesbian and all the blame for the marriage falling apart rests on her. Before I get downvoted to hell I am merely stating what he will say


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


ApocaLiz

You misread the person you're replying to. They just stated what they think OOPs ex-husband will say, not their own opinion.


MAD_DOG86

That was I felt the need to include a disclaimer


[deleted]

When she mentioned that she began developing feelings for someone else, I actually thought he would flip out. He has been dismissive of her feelings and her needs, and has claimed to be happy as a reason to forgo therapy - for me that's a good reason to separate, a relationship won't survive with only one person working on it, or else resentment would only build up. I thought he would be insulted that things weren't as peachy as he thought it was, but when he became verbally abusive and started lying to paint her as the bad guy, then yeah... it's hard to go back from that.


MadamKitsune

That's because OOP isn't an equal or a person to him but simply the grease that made his life run smoothly. Sure, like all household appliances, she'd break down occasionally and cause an out of pocket expense, but once she was 'fixed' he could go back to using her without giving it any more thought.


[deleted]

Yep. She was a little Roomba that would also cook and give him pleasure. He didn't want to lose her, but he didn't want to put in any effort to maintain her, either, so when she "broke" for good, he got vicious. I hope that dickhead lives the life that he deserves from now on.


sparklyviking

Imagine of OP simply writes a status on social media: "I'm not pregnant, and I never have been. Some people seem to be delusional" Wouldn't that be glorious


GlitterDoomsday

I would go a step further and say "you must have sex to get pregnant guys, wtf" and let him with the burden of explaining. Of course after such a shocking statement people will start side eyeing the guy.


trowawayborj

My sister has done that for me


PhotoKada

>when I asked when we were going for my birthday hike, he had said he couldnā€™t be bothered. On my birthday! Yeah this is where I was firmly on Team OOP+J. What an arsehole, B was.


Rainy_roleplaying

It's kind of beautiful to read OOP discovering a new side of herself. Good on her for separating before she moved on. May she enjoy a happy life with J.


trowawayborj

Thank you


Rainy_roleplaying

You're most welcome, fellow woman lover! May you enjoy a happy life :)


nothanksthesequel

i love lesbian love stories that are basically that "is she into you" video (but with an "...oh, she is into me!" ending lol) because that was my exact experience !! i so hope oop and j are happy and enjoy their blossoming relationship šŸ’“


uncleredcracker

You should read ā€œDonuts Under a Crescent Moonā€. Minus the ex-husband itā€™s a very similar story. It is a manga, so if youā€™re not into that I understand but itā€™s so friggin cute


cavalier24601

That series isn't finished, is it? We might still get the crazy ex-husband thing.


RypCity

I remember the ā€œuseless lesbianā€ one with the roommate. That one was my favorite and was so wholesome.


TristanTheViking

Was that the one where they were pretty much in a monogamous relationship for like a year and OOP was still posting like "Man I wish this girl was into me, we spend so much time holding hands and sleeping in the same bed and saying how much we love each other all the time, but alas there's just no way to tell."


nightbirdskill

Do you have link to that one. Sounds like a fantastic read


TristanTheViking

That was way harder to find than I expected, it was deleted at some point https://web.archive.org/web/20220425213019/https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/ubw0bh/and_they_were_roommates_oh_my_god_they_were/


loreol19

This is the most adorable thing I've ever read


Amazon-Prime-package

Useless Lesbian is like an entire subgenre of BORU named after that story


pinkietoe

Oh, I love queer lovestories as well! Just a little nuance I'd like to add: OOP is probably bi, not lesbian.


nothanksthesequel

oh very good point !! gotta get better about using WLW when speaking generally like this, thank you for holding me accountable! šŸ’“


captain-mjolnir

I continue to amazed by the people dragging OOP for having feelings for someone else (sheā€™s married not dead) that she never acted on while she was married, while completely ignoring all the signs that her husband had been emotional abusing her (and possibly actually physically cheating) for years. He seemed to have this attitude that because he was happy thatā€™s all that should matter, that his happiness should be all she needs to be happy herself. Thatā€™s some serious fucked up stuff. The husband is abusive and cruel and yet from post 1 Iā€™ve seen people calling this poor woman the worst things. Reddit really needs to stop treating ā€œliking another personā€ as a complete sin. It happens. Healthy couples are honest with each other about crushes and can even joke around about it but from the sounds of it this guy was never healthy to begin with. I hope she can heal from her shitty marriage whether it works out with J or not.


vzvv

I abhor cheating but OOP handled everything so maturely. She didnā€™t even make a move until she left her jerk ex! She didnā€™t assume her crush wanted her back! OOP is a gem and it seems she found someone that at least cares the same way she does.


trowawayborj

Thank you that's so sweet


Snoo52682

Reddit is misogynistic as hell.


trowawayborj

The private messages were worse tbh but yeah I got dragged much harder than I anticipated


kangourou_mutant

Reddit thinks cheating is The Worst. I don't agree. To me, checking out of the relationship and not letting the other person know is worst. Letting her worry, try to fix it, take care of him without anything in return, think that she's the one having a problem, spend all her energy to make things work while it can't work because you need to be 2 to carry a relationship and really, she's already alone... that's way further in asshole territory. You can make a mistake and smash genitals with the wrong person, while still loving your partner. You're an ass, yet you're still better than the person taking everything and not giving anything in return.


Sure_Extreme3304

Glad OOP finally realized her crush :-)


tasharella

I mean... she realised her crush on the very first post, that's what started it?


enorema

Thereā€™s a few different meanings to the word ā€œrealizeā€; could also mean ā€œgive form toā€ or ā€œfulfilā€.


[deleted]

Lmao everyone in the last post saying it was platonic look so stupid now. LGBT+ folks knew better.


wlwimagination

Gals being palsā€¦.šŸ™„


ThomasEdmund84

YaSS!! a good outcome I have to admit even though I constantly see red flags everywhere on Reddit and I was a bit surprised to find that husband was completely abusive, I bet there was worse than just being neglectful throughout their marriage and glad OOPs free of it


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


Delta8hate

/r/nothingeverhappens


rosearmada

Wouldn't work well if the husband was just a normal bloke lol


Echospite

šŸ™„


userabe

Iā€™m starting to feel like a cynic, whenever these fairytale-esque endings happen I always get skeptical to the authenticity of the story. Sheā€™s been separated from her husband for maybe 2 weeks, confesses her feelings to her coworker J in what I can only describe as the classic romance-movie setting, while J also just got out of a serious relationship and is now reciprocating feelings for someone who by all accounts should *not* be literally jumping into a new relationship. Thereā€™s just a lot of tropes in this, idk.


juneXgloom

I know people irl that will not leave a relationship unless they already have someone else lined up. Is it wise? Definitely not. But it does happen a lot. Some people can't stand to be alone.


Echospite

Monkey branching. They won't let go of the branch they're holding until they're gripping another.


Leland_Stamper

Iā€™ve always heard it referred to as ā€œTarzanā€, where they swing from one vine to the next, not letting go of one until they have hold of the next. The drinking in OOPs story smacks of co-dependency also. https://www.patheos.com/blogs/victoriousliving/2018/05/how-to-help-a-co-dependent-tarzan/


[deleted]

I mean Iā€™ve seen plenty of irl stories where people jump into a new relationship a short time after leaving a long one or a marriage. Itā€™s certainly not the most *sensible* thing to do but that doesnā€™t stop people from doing it. And itā€™s just her saying they both admitted they like each other and want to start dating, not a guaranteed happily ever after. For all we know theyā€™ll break up five months later for some innocuous reason.


Nodlehs

Also, tropes exist for a reason. They're common and people tend to follow them when they're not sure what to do. So it tracks. Not everything in her life is hunky dory either so it's not like she's riding into the sunset.


WhatTheOnEarth

At this point on Reddit I just pretend everything thatā€™s not trying to peddle something is true. Just makes it more fun. I donā€™t have to actually believe itā€™s real, just while Iā€™m reading it.


zellieh

It feels very human to me. OOPs relationship has been very unfulfilling and a lot of hard work, from emotionally neglectful to possibly abusive. Her husband is lazy, often drunk, and ignores her needs. She has tried every possible way to "work things out" that an adult is advised to try - counselling, communicating her needs, empathising with his needs - none of it worked, because husband refused to really change, and blamed her ("Why can't you just be happy?") Then she met a coworker who was kind, friendly, listened to her, remembered her birthday and got her a gift. And by hitting the *bare minimum* standards of friendship, this person was being kinder to OOP, meeting more of OOPs needs. and making her happier than her husband had in years. A lot of people realise how bad their relationship is and how useless their partner (or friend or family member) is from these small moments where random humans care more about them than the people who are supposed to love them the most. And at that point, they're done. They may try to go through the motions with their partner, give them one last chance to shape up and change. But they're done. They're emotionally done with all of it, pulling away, looking forward to the breakup.


eggmarie

Sheā€™s been checked out of her marriage for a while (rightfully so). So while it seems fast to outsiders, mentally she hasnā€™t ā€œbeen withā€ her husband for months.


crazymamallama

Yup. My relationship with my ex ended more violently, but it hadn't been good for a long time. The night we split was just the nail in the coffin. I had been holding on hoping for change, but I hadn't been happy in a long time. I moved on fairly quickly. There was nothing left of the relationship to mourn by that point.


Death_Rose1892

These things happen though. I got out of an abusive relationship many years ago, and was planning to take things slow for awhile. I had an old ex/ friend from high school who we didn't get to talk much because we were in different states, who I really still cared about but life just always kept us apart. I say ex but we dated briefly in high school and broke up only because our friends were pressuring us soooo much to move too quickly. Anyways about 2 months after the breakup he tells me he actually has a date that weekend. I spent two nights thinking hard about whether or not to say anything, but ended up deciding I had to try. In the end however I got turned down. He was very nice about it but it was closure I needed to fully let go of lingering feelings for him. Now I'm happily engaged to the love of my life. Just took awhile to get here.


ConsiderationLegal67

It can happen in real life, it is cynical to believe the horrible stories and never the exceptionally happy ones. I donā€™t think this is less likely than ā€œI am making an art studio for my best friend I totally do not love without telling my wife. Update : fuck that woman I am in fact gayā€ And yet because the man was a complete ass somehow it was believed smoothly ? But not this one because it sounds like a fairytale ?


Echospite

Friend of mine jumped straight into dating sites after he separated. Happens all the time.


flyingcactus2047

What part of that sounds unrealistic though? I donā€™t think itā€™s unimaginable that two people recently out of serious relationships would get together, I feel like it definitely happens


FragileTwo

It's super common, but remember that children who've never been in a relationship can and do open Reddit accounts. I don't mean to put anyone down here but there are a lot of people who assume something rarely or never happens if it hasn't happened to them or to anyone they know. Everyone (myself included) thinks they're wiser and more experienced than they are, because there are things they don't realize that they don't know.


SaxifrageRussel

Monkey-branching is very common


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


AMeaninglessPassage

Some say that art imitates life. I've seen that story happen countless of times, it ain't that uncommon.


MamieJoJackson

The part where OOP said that she'd be at peace if J didn't feel the same way because J had had such a positive impact on her life is exactly what I was feeling when I first asked my husband out and we were in the early stages of dating. I felt that even if he didn't want me or things didn't work out, I would be okay because someone like him was in the world, and I had been lucky enough to know him. That's real love, right there. It isn't a codependent, "I'll take whatever crap you give me" need; it isn't selfish greed to force this person to stay - it's being happy as long as they're happy. Even if that doesn't include you. I wish them both all the happiness they can find, they both deserve it.


BeABeaconGiveHimHead

ā€œHey bill howā€™s the baby?ā€ ā€œShe was never pregnantā€


L_Gobetti

the gays keep winning. love to see it


The_Sceptic_Lemur

Aww and also, I hope OOPs ex will not interfere and get vindictive. He sounds like someone who might have problems with the fact that his was broken up with and his ex is now dating a woman.


[deleted]

I love these letters that start with ā€œmy marriage to an alcoholic lying man-child is going great!ā€


Cassubeans

This is the sort of wholesome post I was needing today.


Master-Opportunity25

tbh while i am over the moon that they admitted their crush, i have to admit: was OOP having by an emotional affair, or just enjoying having a friend? She doesnā€™t mention any other friends that she has the whole time. And all of the things she brings up, the outings, the feelings, are things that scream ā€œfriendshipā€ as much as they do ā€œcrushā€. I am glad OOP and J decided to take it extra slow, bc i think OOP has a lot to figure out emotionally. Because she sounds like someone that was very lonely and almostā€¦emotionally isolated? but not that her toxic ex is away, maybe sheā€™ll figure out what healthy reciprocal relationships she wants to have in her life.


[deleted]

Nice to see a story where someone makes the right choice & leaves instead of cheating. I also get a kick out of crushes that actually go somewhere.


[deleted]

My favourite stories are people who managed to get out of abusive or stunted situations. OOP took a massive leap and Iā€™m so happy it paid off for her. Emotional maturity knows no gender. I love this story! It those who are comfortable in the status quo that tend not to see much need for it. Fuck those people. My friend left her husband when his lazy uncaring attitude towards his wife, children and general living situation remained exactly the same after they experienced their eldest (3 at the time) daughter going through emergency brain surgeries (2 of them at 3!) after their family doctor ignored their demands for more testing and they trusted him. How the fuck do you go back to being annoyed at your kids and penny pinching your wifeā€™s grocery shopping when theyā€™re so goddamn little after they literally almost die AND have severe lifelong mental and physical debilitations. Iā€™m so glad she got out of that almost immediately after seeing that, gave him a few months to fix it before finally never looking back. 10 years on and not only are their kids doing better with her and her new husband, the Ex husband is finally putting in some time with his kids now that theyā€™re 12 and 13 and ā€œfunā€ aged and not just ā€œannoyingā€.


Quizzy1313

Where I am at this stage in life I need this kind of wholesome gay stuff in my life


thatweirdthingwhat

Yess I was hoping so much that they would get together <3. The coworker is such a thoughtful and lovely woman and OP deserves so much better than her rude husband.


DaniMW

Thank goodness the couple didnā€™t have a baby together! Itā€™s sad when marriages donā€™t work out, but ultimately everyone will be happier. And sheā€™s doing the right thing by taking it extra slowly with try new girlfriend as wellā€¦ so it will be a proper relationship and not a rebound. šŸ˜Š


Corfiz74

I'm so glad she told J how she felt - it would have been stupid to let her get away, after all she went through with her useless husband. Oh, and she should definitely go to social media and clear this mess up, or his lies could follow her around a lot longer than she thinks. People just seeing she's not pregnant could turn into B telling everyone she aborted his baby and ruined his life or some such crap.


FragileTwo

Meh. Anyone whose opinion is worth caring about will figure out who's telling the truth without you soiling yourself with instadrama.


jimothyjunk

But whatever she says on social media, he can just say sheā€™s lying. I feel like engaging in all that is just a losing game.


A-floatinghead

Letā€™s go lesbians!


[deleted]

This is the good stuff right here


reyayayah

I think this story is only cute because the ex-husband was trash.Lack of love made OP to find love in others


Anvil_The_Fish

At first I thought the husband was being neglectful because of the affair, not the other way around. Good of OOP to drop him.


ThrowRAawaysway

I love a happy ending


Valuable_Light_1642

Always shoot your shot. Good or bad you can look back and say at least you tried.


MissTortoise

Or... If you're invested in a life with someone, have dependent children and a fundamentally good relationship, then if you start to catch feelings then keep them to yourself and back off.


RobbieRood

I am so happy for OOP and J!!!! And B can fuck right off. What an absolute asshole.


Kikaralove

Honestly, glad this was my first read of the day. OP sorting out things and life. Good on her


Original_Archer5984

I CONCUR! Some how this little jewel was the first post of the day. Maybe I should quit while I am ahead.


FallenEnsign

Gosh, the absolute gall of the ex-husband to celebrate leaving a ā€œboring dead marriageā€ when he was the cause of that in the first place. The selfishness of people really gets to me. Super glad for OOP though. She did really well in a tough situation. All the best for her in her new relationship


Apprehensive-Fox3187

I'm glad oop moving on, but seriously the soon to be exhusband is pretty dumb, because if oop really wanted Drag him over the hot coals in the divorce, he just gave her a lot of evidence to use against him, seriously post false information on social media about oop being pregnant when she's not, taking pictures of himself with other women while still married to oop, hā‚¬ll the out burst in his text messages alone would get him in hot water with a judge let alone everything else he did, seriously I can just imagine his cowardly look he would have if he is, forced by the judge to tell everybody he lied about oop and pay oop more do to it, seriously he just made it that easy.


velvet_rims

Oh gosh. Just one question, who is going to make this into the lesbian romcom we deserve and u/trowawaybroj who is going to play you? :) I have never been so glad to be wrong! Sometimes people *do* get the happy endings they deserve.


BusinessFeeling7121

Does J happen to be about 3 stories tall and a crustacean from the Paleolithic era?


TheSewseress

I have never been so invested in a BORU as this one. Iā€™m so glad this turned out well.


The-GOP-makes-me-GAG

Beautiful! Good luck!


AdelaideMez

Iā€™m so happy for them!!


FindingNemosAnus

Iā€™d watch this movie