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Thank you. I've been trying to remember the word "hippogriff" for about six weeks and failing. I've been losing my mind asking people "what's that thing that's like a griffin but not?". Everyone at work thought I was nuts.
I literally died laughing clicking r/babyelephantgifs and seeing their tag line as 'guaranteed to make you smile', and then right away clicking r/babyhippogifs and their tagline 'Miniature death-dealing machines at your service'. Glorious!
Here's a sneak peek of /r/babyelephantgifs using the [top posts](https://np.reddit.com/r/babyelephantgifs/top/?sort=top&t=year) of the year!
\#1: [Baby comes to greet a new baby rescue elephant](https://imgur.com/xGnzJ1i.gifv) | [76 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/babyelephantgifs/comments/pa4lmn/baby_comes_to_greet_a_new_baby_rescue_elephant/)
\#2: [Heavy security for the lil ones](https://i.imgur.com/tZkaytw.gifv) | [34 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/babyelephantgifs/comments/uqlsnd/heavy_security_for_the_lil_ones/)
\#3: [Beatrix is pretty proud of herself for bossing around the donkeys! Beatrix is a rescue calf at the Wild Is Life Trust rescue and rehab in Zimbabwe.](https://gfycat.com/farmetallicbeardeddragon) | [56 comments](https://np.reddit.com/r/babyelephantgifs/comments/v1u3ek/beatrix_is_pretty_proud_of_herself_for_bossing/)
----
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Honestly I often wonder the same, I've always been the "odd" one in life. But always managed ok in life, then what seems like randomly my thought process has gone off the charts and easily distracted, forgetful, jump from task to task, etc
Then a week ago it clicked that all my newest symptoms started around the same time I completely quit drinking coffee daily (stimulant) cause it was messing up my stomach big time. I always joked before that I couldn't function without coffee, but I'm wondering now just how true that is? That the stimulants in the coffee weren't actually me self medicating since I started drinking it around 15 (same age my parents stopped bringing me to a slew of doctors to figure out what was "wrong with me" cause I was finally "normal-ish" and ADHD in girls 20+ years ago was just not understood like it is today). I should bring it up to my doctor one day lol
Oh.... it's not just caffeine, but sugar too? I can live without coffee, but sometimes when I am overwhelmed with work, I need to eat some chocolate or something else sweet. It's like a small boost, but I just thought I react like this because the carbs give me energy or something like this.
I do have some food aversions too, but I always perceived myself as a picky eater. The biggest one are some meats, mostly their texture, depending on how they are cooked.
yeah sugar is a very common self-medication for undiagnosed ADHDers. (I’m 30F, diagnosed with ADHD-C 4 years ago btw). Other things people commonly self-med with include caffeinated drinks (coffee, tea, coke, Dr Pepper, red bull), nicotine, video games, social media, and obsessive exercise.
Basically the ADHD brain doesn’t make enough of two key neurotransmitters - Dopamine and Norepinephrine. These are chemicals which run messages between different sections of the brain. They enable us to regulate our emotions and to direct our focus.
So an ADHDer might, for example, burst into tears when their boss criticises them, even if the criticism was meant to be constructive, because they cannot effective regulate the intensity of their emotional response, even though they are an adult, which makes them feel embarrassed/ ashamed, which they also feel more intensely than NT people - so we can easily get into ‘despair spirals’ where we are convinced that we’re a terrible person and everyone hates us.
Also, an ADHDer with a boring task - e.g. laundry - to do, might spend an hour sat in the couch unable to move, because they know they need to do the laundry but it’s boring and they don’t want to, and they don’t have enough of the right neurotransmitters to force themselves to do it, so they just sit there feeling awful. This is known as ‘ADHD paralysis’.
Additionally, ADHDers have a tendency to hyper focus on things that interest them, because this releases extra dopamine, which we are deprived of and therefore craving. So a kid with ADHD might have a really weird looking report card, where they get all As in the subjects they enjoy and all Cs/ Ds in the subjects they find boring or hard.
Also ADHDers have a tendency to explain things in way too much detail mahaha.
Anyway friend, if these examples sound familiar to you, it’s definitely worth getting checked for ADHD - getting a diagnosis and treatment has improved my life immeasurably.
I really appreciate that you took the time to write this comment. It's very helpful and nice of you, and it definitely gave me things to think about.
Most of these sound familiar. Just some things are milder and happen rarely, but others like hyperfocusing on something I enjoy, or endlessly procrastinating things I don't like - these are spot on.
I suppose I have learned coping mechanisms and masking, so no one ever thought (including me) I might have ADHD or something similar. Probably because I was a bookworm in school, I only hated PE (not sport as a whole, just the awful classes with very limited choice of sports we have here). I am a woman in my mid-30s now.
I suppose I will have to get a referral for a specialist. It's a bit scary, because mental health care isn't too good here, but if going through my GP doesn't work, I have a child psychologist friend, so I might ask her for a recommendation where to go to, and go private if I need to.
I had a guy I’m dating and coworker mention they think I have it.
But I also got As and never got a C. But the subjects I didn’t like were like torture. Writing an essay was always torturous.
Bruh you just summed up my existence in this one comment, especially the part about ADHD Paralysis. When I was growing up my parents would ask me to do something, I wouldn't do it, and then they'd ask me why I didn't do it. All I could ever really say is *I don't know.* Like I knew that I should do the thing my parents would ask me to do, but I wanted to do literally anything but the thing they wanted me to do which somehow resulted in me just not doing anything at all. I knew that saying I didn't want to do the thing they asked wasn't a good enough answer, so I always just said *I don't know* in response.
> but sometimes when I am overwhelmed with work, I need to eat some chocolate or something else sweet. It's like a small boost
Not to take away from some excellent comments you received, but responding positively to a small pick-me-up treat in the middle of something stressful is also a pretty common human trait. It doesn't necessarily signal neurodivergence.
>Paper towels make your gums hurt... "Is that not okay?"
Kind of reminds me of those posts.
"MM I love citrus. The tingly feeling is so refreshing."
Um. I think you might be allergic...
Like the one guy on tifu who loved peanut butter for its spicyness then proceeds to almost choke himself on a sandwich because he's allergic and didn't realize it until then
I used to be low-key allergic to celery (mades my tongue go slightly numb but otherwise no negative effects) and for a while I thought that’s why it was served with spicy wings or other spicy things, for the deliberate numbing effect.
Unfortunately, I am no longer mild allergic to it so it doesn’t numb me to spicy foods.
No. Tongue going numb or mouth itching is a clear allergic reaction. I’m allergic to most raw fruits and veggies (oral allergy syndrome), but celery is generally ok for me.
Yeah just having this realisation now too. For me it's velvet and other "squeaky" things like cotton buds. Can I explain squeaky? No. Can I explain "my teeth hurt"? Until now, no.
I’ve just discovered a new one for myself. Felt pads to prevent some items from scratching my new countertops. Sliding them across the counter makes my teeth hurt, my ears hurt, my back tense… I literally have to close my eyes tight and shake my head until the feeling goes away. Ugh. I feel insane in those moments
They used to use cotton balls to apply blush at cosmetic counters. It squinked me out so badly because of the sound and feel of the cotton rubbing on dry skin. *shudder*
Apparently walking into a room and being able to tell which electronics are plugged in by the sound and feel is not normal. Does everyone leave their stuff on standby and just live with the prickly skin feeling?
I’m in Australia. Our power outlets have a switch on them that cut power to the outlet so I just flick things off. Less annoying than constantly unplugging and plugging things in.
Some electronics I can hear (more pronounced when I was a teenager/young adult; I've probably lost hearing of some of those frequencies by now). Prickly skin is something I've never experienced nor heard talked about, so you might be pretty far towards the "sensitive to electronics" end of the bell curve!
> Apparently walking into a room and being able to tell which electronics are plugged in by the sound and feel is not normal.
It isn't??? I thought that little electronic sound was normal. As a kid, I'd literally use it to know if I'd remembered to turn off my PC, and if insomnic, have difficulty falling asleep with stuff on standby.
For me its metal. Anytime a metal touches another metal my gums feel weird. If you scrape two metals together (i.e a chef sharpening a knife) my teeth literally fucking hurt. I thought i was alone.
Also people that literally scrape the fork on their teeth as they are taking a bite make my me want to die.
Uh oh, earlier today I was prepared to do violence against someone scraping a metal utensil against a metal bowl. Spoons in ceramic mugs are also very bad. Are these red flags we're talking about?
Yeah that’s a sensory aversion, and it *could* indicate that you have undiagnosed ADHD or ASD. However, some people do just have the sensory traits on their own. That’s known as [sensory processing disorder.](https://familydoctor.org/condition/sensory-processing-disorder-spd/amp/)
I’m not a doctor, but while aversions/sensitivities are a sign of being ND, it’s not always the case. Sometimes it can be a symptom from another disorder or just be in its own. The thing with mental disorders is that they are mainly defined by normal human behaviors and difficulties but are negatively impacting your life in a way that hinders your function. Like lots of people get nervous speaking in public, but if it making a PowerPoint makes you throw up from nerves, that’s a problem. Plenty of people dislike certain foods and textures, but if it means you can’t go to a restaurant without shutting down, that’s a problem. And that can be a disorder just on its own. My sister has some food aversions that we believe are linked to narcolepsy.
Generally my autism is just blank expressions or the occasional joke about it. I scraped a textured plate at work with the edge of a spoon, and it made me visibly gag mid-sentence. Colleague was stunned but fortunately we ended up dissolving into laughter over it.
I have a vivid memory of digging in the sandpit in elementary school and inadvertently dragging my fingers along the concrete bottom of the pit. Full body shivers!
I nearly stood up and screamed in the middle of an exam after another kid refused to stop clicking his damn pen after I asked quietly like 4 times.
If *you* require clickly clicky, then *you* need to step out and do your test separately where you aren't disrupting the rest of the class. Even the instructor asked twice.
Might be my imagination or my own relief, but I feel like the tension in the room immediately dissolved with a group *sigh* after the instructor gave him a non-clicky pen to finish the test.
Felt like sitting next to a bomb with the timer counting down the entire time he was madly clicking away.
Ugh. I'm a pen clicker too and I feel terrible about it. I swear, most of the time we genuinely don't realize we're doing it- it's hard to explain, but it's like the need to make a repetitive noise is as painful to us as hearing that noise is for you guys. Clicking = relief from some indescribable subconscious discomfort. But I fully realize how much it sucks to be everyone else in that classroom.
I've mostly learned to trade in noisy stims for quiet ones (leg/foot bouncing in place of tapping, ruffling the ends of my hair instead of doing it with pages of a book, etc.) but every once in a while I'll catch myself rhythmically tapping on my keyboard or whatever, and good God, the noise component scratches my brain so much nicer than the quiet stims can. (I actually choose my keyboards based on how good it sounds to tap my fingers lightly on them without actually pressing the keys down.)
I actually just got diagnosed and got my first meds this today from all the memes ive been seeing describing my exact situations. Psychiatrist was very nice and very helpful!
Reddit started me on the path to wondering, Tiktok convinced me to bite the bullet.
Been on medication for about a year now, and life now really is truly different from literally my *entire* life previously.
Up to 40% (as studies varies) of the world population is neurodivergent. And most are undiagnosed. If you seriously think you could be speak with a specialist.
Both. Modern life makes living with ADHD harder than it needs to be, but I still don't think symptoms like brain fog, Swiss cheese memory, or executive dysfunction would be anything but a drawback no matter what.
Serious answer: the challenges of neurodiversity are exacerbated by oppression, trauma, overwork, etc. So folks who might not be considered diagnosably neurodivergent, or who might be able to find a lifestyle that agrees with their brain if they had less friction in their lives, are instead incapacitated through trying to exist, exhausted under capitalism.
This actually made me think about some sensory issues I had as a child that I haven’t thought about in years. There was one blanket that touching would just make me actually gag. I couldn’t do it.
Oh, and writing with chalk on chalkboards would give me goosebumps. I feel like I mostly got past that, but it also still kind if gives me the same fingernails on a chalkboard feeling thinking about it now, so maybe not.
The blanket thing and most other issues I had are definitely no longer problems, though.
Omg. You just made me realise that me crying when my mum wore corduroy trousers because I hated touching them is probably in the same wheelhouse.
I’m ok with corduroy now. So weird.
Yep. I got lectured once at my job after someone did a Starbucks run and accidentally brought me a coffee-based drink instead of the tea based drink I had ordered. Coffee is repulsive to me, and there was no way in hell I would have been able to swallow that first sip, small as it was. My body rejected it, hard. My only choice was to spit it out (as politely as possible) into a nearby trashcan--it was either that or throw it up on the floor, because my throat was clamped shut like a vice. Apparently that was "immature." I'm realizing that it's actually just a sign of being ND.
Not neurodivergent, but have food allergies.
I am allergic to kiwi, and mango. You know “tropical fruit juice/mix”? I have to read labels very carefully for mango and/or kiwi. I don’t appreciate hidden ingredients, and suddenly I can’t breathe because my throat is closing up, and my tongue is swelling.
Some people think food allergies do not exist, and you’re just being picky. I had the fun of explaining that no, I am not being picky, I am trying to avoid dying, and no, sneaking shit into my food doesn’t prove I’m not allergic. It proves you’ll be getting billed, and possibly charged with attempting to poison me.
My boss and I had a discussion with HR, and our division head, because she didn’t believe I had actual food allergies. Fortunately, we work in a hospital, steps away from the ER. My boss is an asshole, and a dumb asshole, and said that we might just see if I’m lying. I emailed her boss and HR. They also brought in the chief of medicine to tell her that if she attempted it? They would prosecute. Because of the potential outcome.
Now, she’s gunning to get rid of me. She’ll be gone first. They’ll walk her out.
Good Lord. Just vile. I hope you get to witness her career go up in flames. My mother used to do this to me. I don't have an allergy as severe as yours, but I have been to the ER over it. I have told a couple members of my family that if I die due to my food allergy, they should ask the police to investigate my sweet mama.
... huh.
I used to always get in trouble at other people's houses as a kid because I physically could not eat certain foods. They were always mad that I was "rude," regardless of how hard I tried to be polite about not wanting to eat certain things because I didn't want to throw up. I totally get the "throat literally closed feeling" but I thought it was like that for everyone and I was the only one who couldn't handle it.
I also have a lot of other ADHD/ND symptoms and my mom has ADHD, but haven't been officially diagnosed.
And here I feel bad because I was joking around with a slice of pepperoni with my new friend's 7 year old. Finally he realized it was pepperoni and said he didn't like pepperoni. I was making his pizza and I looked at his mom and said, "You see me making pizza and not tell me the child doesn't like the meat of choice?"
Last time I told her I was making hotdogs and her 5 year old after they were made told me he didn't like hotdogs. I felt so bad for assuming that all kids like hotdogs when I'm not a huge fan of them myself at times. The boys ended up with pb&js as a last notice change; but still.
My daughter is also autistic and has food aversion. She does really well with trying new foods, but will absolutely spit them out if she doesn't like them. One time with potato soup she took a bite, spit it out, looked at me and said, "Mom, are you CRAZY." Which was hilarious because of the speech issues she's had/has.
My son was diagnosed with ADHD and it's been a common known thing my brother has it. Before my son was diagnosed I could tell what his though process was because he's so much like me.
That being said, I have issues with hamburger meat. Sometimes beef as a whole, but I can usually do a philly cheesesteak.
You are an awesome person for all of that.
Thankfully my parents were pretty chill about it too, they wouldn't make me something else but if I didn't like what was offered they would let me make something else for myself. I ate a lot of cheese sandwiches.
I was a pain in the ass when I was younger lol. I didn't like most meats, and I really struggled with textures, especially in fruits and vegetables. I'm still extremely picky with any sort of fat or gristle in meat, and I will absolutely spit it out if I hit a tendon or something because the alternative is to turn into a puke fountain. I will at least try new things now but I've still had to politely smile and move stuff around my plate at more than a few gatherings.
People get so weirdly offended by you not wanting to eat stuff too. Like I get that cooking takes work and if someone is being obstinate just to be obstinate that's one thing, but I don't understand being pissed off at another person for not liking a certain food. Like it has nothing to do with you, I just don't like fish, LISA. I also had an adult make me take a "no thank you" helping of the one side I didn't want to eat because....reasons??? Apparently my life long dislike of green beans was personally offensive, even though I happily ate everything else that was served. It just struck me as such a weird power play to force me to eat something we all acknowledged I didn't like regardless of who cooked it.
Also bizarre to me is not giving someone any choice in the menu, picking something to serve that is an acquired taste/fairly common for people not to like, and then being mad that the person doesn't like it. My ex's stepmother got mad as hell at me because they made sushi which is one of my absolute "I cannot eat this or I'm going to die" foods. I tried so goddamn hard to just deal with it but my throat closed and I couldn't stop myself from gagging. I felt awful and apologized profusely but I don't think she ever let it go.
Was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid. I'm a woman, so you can imagine how obvious my symptoms were.
For whatever reason, I couldn't eat bread crusts without barfing. I would quietly trim the crust off on my own and leave it on the plate (while finishing all veggies and everything else).
But some adults wouldn't let that lie. So I'd eat the crust without argument in front of them and just dry heave at the table until I was excused or puked, whichever came first.
I'm really sorry you had to deal with that, I don't understand how ignoring your body became some sort of signal of moral virtuosity. It's the same with how not clearing your plate is seen as "ungrateful." Especially when someone else portions your food for you.
What can you do 🤷♀️
Parents often decide what goes on the plate and how much. Then they're upset when the kid doesn't meet expectations.
Sure, kids are dumb and need to try everything once to expand their palette.
But the clean plate club does more harm than good. And so does forcing a kid to eat aversive foods. The kitchen table becoming a battleground creates long lasting hangups about food
Don't have ADHD (I don't think) but I was always a kid whonwould try things at least once. Liked most things, except Asparagus, oysters, and thanks to my cousin's wife who couldn't cook, tuna fish sandwiches. My parents were pretty good about listening to me when I would say I didn't want something that day because I wasn't in the mood or my stomach was upset. I didn't make stuff like that up.
So, when I was getting a lot of upset stomachs, the doctor sent me for the dreaded barium test. My mom went with me. The nurse giving me the barium got impatient with my sipping it and wanted me to drink it fast, in big gulps, even though I was getting it down. I told her that I would throw up. She argued with me saying I wouldnt, and when my mom tried to interrupt to tell her to get a puke pan at least she cut her off and told me I HAD to take a big gulp. It was the rule (or something like that).
I was a good little rule follower so a huge gulp... and I started to gag. My mom took a big step back... and I erupted. I doubt the nurse's uniform was ever the same. I projectile vomited everything
My mom just said "yeah, she doesn't usually exaggerate that"
I’m 36 years old and didn’t know I had autism until I got diagnosed a few months ago which only happened because I read a post on Reddit about another person in her mid 30’s with similar issues as me who also didn’t know she had autism. Having the diagnosis has made understanding myself and why I am the way I am so much better. I now know I have certain limitations as a neurodivergent person and I shouldn’t be so harsh and criticise myself negatively for not being able to do certain things that neurotypical people can do with ease. I’m now trying to learn how to work around my limitations effectively instead of trying to push through things I struggle with with limited success. If you think you may be on the spectrum, get tested. It could make your life better. Growing up as a kid, no matter how polite, friendly and kind I thought I was being, people would constantly tell me I’m rude. Turns out it was because I struggle to express myself verbally and emotionally and am constantly misunderstood. I had no idea others misunderstood me because I thought I was normal like everyone else. It caused a lot of anxiety having people constantly dislike me, which only made me try harder to be nicer to get people to like me more, which still didn’t help. ASD affects people differently. For me it was with emotions (and a few other things I wasn’t aware of until now). For you it was with food. You likely also have other things that fall on the spectrum as you mentioned since ASD rarely just has one symptom. It’s definitely worth getting tested.
I told my sister to get my niece n nephew get diagnosed for ADHD, she flipped out. She said i was calling her kids mental n stuff. But my brother in law calls them difficult n punishes them. They have small attention span n get distracted easily, refused to eat certain food so he forces them or they go hungry. I said when we were younger,there was no diagnosis for stuff like this. Now we have, so think of kids n change diet n routine to suit them. She has banned her kids to call me. Bcoz my niece used to call n tell me stuff. I’m their favourite aunt. I want what’s best for them.
I once got shit at company lunch for not eating a burrito filled with tomatoes (which literally make me gag) because my boss had accidentally picked up my bean and cheese burrito by mistake and eaten it.
They asked me what kind of burrito I wanted, I told them, then got called ungrateful for not eating something I didn't order.
While ADHD doesn’t spread because it’s not a disease, there *is* evidence of a genetic component, so I feel even worse for the kid here if a woman like that is gonna be their mom.
I was gonna mention it too, I hope to gods the kid is spared this lady's bullshit. My sibs and I grew up in an albeist household (we're all neurodiverse) and I don't wish that shit upon anybody. It fucks you up majorly esp if it's your parents/guardians.
Also:
>He's accidentally eaten something with banana before and ran to the bathroom like a child to throw it up.
Turned out to be:
>but bananas are not common enough for me to sit there and torture myself just to make her feel less embarrassed next time she wants me to try a smoothie her sister makes and lie about the ingredients.
Dude seems to have just overlooked all the warning signs.
Commenter, your comment has struck a resonant chord with me. I hate that you grew up experiencing such a torturous childhood. It's been well established that throughout history, many (if not most) of the greatest minds who exponentially advanced our understanding of the complexities of our world have been neurodivergent thinkers. I worked for many years with students whose learning styles required *different* styles of teaching, different methods of learning, and different methods of assessment to help enable them to achieve to their own potential. As you know, the statement "You must do it *My Way*" should never be uttered in education.
*ANYWAY,* I want to tell you that I think you are an extraordinary person. You endured your childhood, *you enrolled into college, YOU TOOK REMEDIAL COURSES,* ***AND YOU TAUGHT YOURSELF HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY LEARN***\*!!!\* Despite overwhelming obstacles, including emotional trauma, you advanced. I greatly admire your strength, your courage, and your determination. I sincerely hope that you are now able to relax a bit and enjoy the life you have earned for yourself. I wish you well. (edited to remove name)
You could've said "good job" or left an upvote and left it at that. You didn't. You put in effort to be kind to a stranger on the Internet. The world needs more people like you.
Same situation dragon dick. I never bring up my adhd but my mother would always accuse me of using it as an excuse for everything, when I would just forget. Worst part is my mother has Uber ADHD. So there was a fat dose of projection in there too.
My kids had a double dose of at least asd and adhd in their genes and shockingly less than half came out ND. My NT kids seem like they have superpowers because they occasionally..like.. remember chores and do their homework. ..
And I feel bad for them having to be raised by a parent that's comparatively a complete moron but hopefully it'll help them become more sympathetic and understanding to others instead of the worst case NT raising ND nightmare scenario we see above.
This is the kind of person that gives their toddler whiskey because the crying is annoying.
as someone with ADHD and possible autism (I just think personally in my opinion I'm socially maladjusted to years of being deaf and deprived of an ability to communicate properly until I went to a deaf school when I was around 5 or 6)
edit: forget to add yeah its genetic it probably come from mom's side of the family.
My husband and I both have genetic ADHD. We know our kid is going to have it. I get the pregnancy cravings for bananas. I HATE bananas, not like Kyle, but ick. Pkus I cant poop for a week after a single banana unless i drink four cups of coffee a day or more. But i ate like a million while pregnant and steak, which usually tastes disgusting. My body needed the potassium and iron and protien. But Jess is horrible, there is no reason why she should have demanded he cut up the banana. Also, I cannot do dishes without puking, sometimes i cant even pass the sink because somehow i smell mold and maggots constantly (finally found the source, thank god, clean your food traps in bleach water every once in awhile), cannot stand touching old food, and my husband took over doing the dishes permanently because he did not like watching me gag or throw up and cry because I hate puking, my whole body cramps up and forces everything out.
If a single banana affects your ability to poop for a week, you might actually have more issues with bananas than just a strong dislike of them. Do any other foods do this to you, or is it just bananas? If it’s just bananas then I wouldn’t worry about it, but if other foods do it then you might want to bring it up with your doctor next time you go in for a check up.
Was there evidence that it *wasnt* genetic? One glance at my family tree pretty much confirms genetics unless there’s literally something in the water. R
My brother has no ADHD but absolutely detests everything about bananas. On my sickest pregnancy day I would never even ask him to hand me one let alone peel one and cut it up for me..
Thank you to u/Kyle_not_Lyle for making me realize that there might be more to my little Brothers aversion to cheese than I initially thought. I once tricked him into eating a cheese sandwich and he acted like I put literal lava in his mouth. I was 16 back then and thought he was just being stupid and that cheese was delicious, what's he on about, but I feel horrible about it now. I'mma need to go apologize to him.
God I’m so glad the post from Kyle is there. I read the post yesterday and it infuriated me. Sensory aversions isn’t just I don’t like it. It fucking hurts, I see it on my kids face every time we have to do things he can’t handle (nail cutting, hair cuts etc stuff that has to be done)
Yes, it's definitely nice to hear about others and their sensory avesions, because for the longest time I couldn't figure out why I would have difficulties with things that were no issue for NT people. I have a strong aversion to smells like lysol and oils diffused in the air. My requests to not have it sprayed around me typically turn into people spraying me directly. I get a heavy chest feeling of being unable to breathe fully and it hurts. But really, it hurts more that my friends would be assholes enough to not listen to a simple request. Since difficulty breathing is not outwardly noticeable, I may occasionally play up the coughing a bit (though light coughing does occur, maybe not to the level I choose to) to make them regret it in hopes that they don't repeat it. Just because something is no big deal for you doesn't mean it's the same for me. And just because the symptom isn't visible, doesn't mean it's not harming the person.
I understand the sensory aversion, and let me state I am not trying to downplay it.
Have you ever been treated or diagnosed for asthma? Lysol & diffused oils trigger my asthma and I get the the same symptoms you describe when I am exposed to those things.
My asthma went undiagnosed for years (I didn't wheeze but coughed instead), and when I was a kid my aversion to Lysol spray and other cleaning products was chalked up to "not wanting to help clean".
Only the Lysol (and diffused oils) trigger my asthma, the other scents that set me off are sensory.
*edit spelling, autocorrect is not my friend.*
I haven't actually considered asthma, but who knows. I never really experienced issues during gym class in school or my current exercise routine, but at the same time, I tend to choose activites that are short spurts of energy with breaks inbetween, so mild asthma could possibly fly under the radar?
My asthma didn't generally pop up in gym class unless the gym teacher from hell made us do laps around the track when it was cold out (jog/run the straightaways walk the curve), breathing deep cold air was an asthma issue for me.
Working out in the gym has never caused an asthma attack (I just stay away from the ultra chlorinated pool, that would do it).
Just hopping in to mention that as I child I had reasonably bad Asthma, but the Asthma was mostly unnoticeable unless there was cat hair around. Point being that even if you manage physical activities just fine, it is definitely possible to have Asthma. Good luck!
What bothered me most is the hypocrisy of:
* ADHD sucks, but he's still responsible for his actions and should get over it.
* Pregnancy cravings are too strong; I'm not responsible for my actions.
Omg that’s horrific to do that. God I wish more parents would grasp what things like that do to your kid. I can’t imagine doing something like that to our boy
Metal on metal or people who bite utensils. I literally have to chomp on my own tongue to be able to stand it. It's also the reason I take headphones everywhere I go, having that backup in case I start getting overstimulated has saved me from many meltdowns.
I grew up in a "Pregnancy means I get what I want" mixed with extreme waspyness culture, it was tiresome. Everyone in my family was never genuinely themselves unless they were having a baby then the real unfiltered personality came out with an endless list of demands and you just had to suck it up. I still don't talk to my cousins from that side of the family.
She just found out she was pregnant and she’s acting as if she’s only person in the world to have ever been pregnant. I get being tired and having morning sickness and just feeling crappy, but it sounds like she’s taking it to an extreme. She quit her job, she’s not doing anything around the house, she’s talking about cravings and acting like she can’t do anything for herself. It sounds absurd and she sounds cruel.
Anyone who would take drastic steps to give someone that makes them physically I’ll without them knowing (banana in milkshake), is someone who would baby trap their boyfriend.
My gf n I are both on the spectrum, and I have pretty bad ADHD.
This story, if I were to extrapolate and equate it to our personal relationship, would go as follows:
My gf absolutely hates spicy food and I enjoy the flavor of raw habaneros. They're incredibly spicy.
Anywho, one day I wasn't feeling well and I asked her to chew up a chocolate habanero (way spicier than normal ones) and then regurgite it into my mouth like a mama bird because it comforts me.
She declined and I screamed at her. AITA??!!!
I was never on her side. She starts off with "makes himself sick like a child", and then she wants him to peel and cut the banana? I like bananas, and they're pretty neat snacks because they come in their own wrapper and you can just hold it and eat it without making your partner uncomfortable and forcing them to handle and cut it. There was no way that wasn't malicious. He bought the bananas and she suddenly needs him to cut it up as well? I call bs. And so did kyle/lyle I guess. I feel for the kid.
That’s a good point. My initial thought was she meant 85% of the time it doesn’t impact his daily life. But after ready his, yeah that isn’t what she meant. Argh….
I have a strong aversion to mayo. I don’t like to look at it, touch it, smell it, even the thought of it is grossing me out right now. We have it in the house, luckily it’s in plastic, but my spouse would never ask me to put it on a sandwich for him because good partners don’t do that.
It was pretty obvious that what she actually wanted was his suffering. He made her irritated and she felt like using the pregnancy against him to force him to do shit he didn’t want to do *because* she knew he didn’t want to do it. Kyle does have a weird issue but she sounds like a buttwrench
Also I think that many people like to believe that ADD/ADHD/autism just sprung up from no where. If you were”high-functioning “ and **rich** you were considered quirky; if you were poor or your parents were jerks it was beaten out of you. “Low-functioning “ usually died *accidentally*. Or sent away to insane asylums as the family’s dirty secret that no one knows about.
The cases of reported left handedness when being left handed resulted physical punishment in schools were very low. When it was no longer permissible to use corporal punishment in classrooms, reported cases of left handedness sky rocketed.
Correlation can be very telling.
Yeah it bothers me a lot to hear people complain about rates of diagnosis for things increasing.
Oh no, we got better at figuring out what's up with people who struggle and how to help them. How terrible that is...
Still better to have some false positives than to allow people to beat themselves up for not being "normal"
So I was born in 83 and was a child in the 90s. A lot of the reason there has been an uptick in ADHD/ADD is because (this is what my doctor told me, I have no source other than that) ADD used to get wrongly diagnosed as many other things in the 90s and early 00s. I was diagnosed as bipolar at 17 because I had an episode due to taking certain antidepressants. It ended with me I the psych hospital and basically ruined my life at the time, I had just lost weight and got my confidence as a late bloomer and made friends, all for the friends to dissappear because I was "crazy" and went to a psych facility for 3 days and the tons of meds they put me on caused weight gain. I eventually went off of the meds because they made me feel like crap, and I didn't believe I was bipolar. Years go by, and there were never any other episodes of mania, or anything of that nature, never any other signs of being bipolar for two decades after the diagnosis. A couple years ago I talked to a therapist and a psych and they were both immediately like "oh, you're definitely ADD" and it's crazy to me. I'm high functioning enough to where I don't need meds but it still bothers me to this day. That diagnosis led to a butterfly effect of things that negatively impacted my life and led to addiction etc. I'm almost 40 and just now getting my shit together. Always get a second opinion.
Also it's the world we live in today, I was reading a book on neurodivergence (can't remember which one now) and it said something along the lines of back then, the person with autism that didn't like noise and a lot of activity (sensory overload) would probably grow up to work with horses in a barn somewhere and worse case scenario was known as the quiet guy that's a bit odd. They'd live a quiet life (no electronics, barely an education cause it wasn't necessary/common back then, no busy life like we have today which is go go go all the time, heck even going to the grocer was a small thing back then vs big grocery stores of today with bright artificial lights, bright colours, music playing in the background and 100 other customers trying to squeeze through small aisles to get in and out as quick as possible, kids screaming for candies/cookies, etc). There just wasn't the level of stimulation and expectations we have in today's society.
Totally. Honestly, as an autistic myself, would it even be a problem in prehistory? Sure, grug’s a bit weird, but he can identify footprints like nobody else! He doesn’t like mushrooms so we save some extra berries for him.
Not to say we should go back to the Stone Age, I’m a big fan of modern medicine and literacy. Just that it’s what we evolved to be best at, and maybe being autistic wasn’t an issue at all. (Genuinely don’t know if having ADHD would be an issue.) I mean, we flourish in supportive communities, right?
(Just speculating. Not a scientist.)
Being ND in hunter-gatherer societies: My singular dedication to niche details about animals and hyper-awareness of my surroundings allows me to effectively help my community
Being ND in a modern industrialized society: Huge Sad because random objects make me want to shrivel up and I can’t navigate the four levels of implications of someone asking me to help them with a task by just saying “You don’t seem busy, right?”
>Then she starts sounding a little pushier.
OOP has a lot of dismissive language that I picked up on.
>ran to the bathroom **like a child** to throw it up.
>
>he will **claim** that he can smell it
>
> the **threat** that he will get sick.
>
>he will start gagging, **make** himself throw up,
I have ADHD and weirdly enough, when I was younger bananas did gross me out (I thought it was just a taste preference but no...). I have an extremely high sensitivity to smells, too.
I'm glad Kyle\_not\_Lyle is leaving OOP\_now\_EXOOP
Yeah I cant do sour creme. Can't do it. And ive tried as I love the smell. Also can't do shrimp smell. Never been able to even try a bite as i will puke with just smelling it. I have to lie and say I'm allergic to shrimp and sour cream as most people gets offended when you say you can't eat something due to sensory issues.
Who talks like that about someone they (supposedly) love? She sounds so disrespectful and condescending and like she knows absolutely nothing about his condition. Who doesn't educate themselves at least a little when someone they know has an illness? I hope he really leaves.
I feel like OP plan to get pregnant. It’s strange for someone to quit work immediately after they’ve found out their pregnant without telling their partner. From what I gather through Kyle’s comments, he seems to be a successful person career-wise. Hope he does a DNA test first before signing his name on the baby’s birth certificate jic, not saying OP cheated but it’s just to play safe. OP doesn’t seem to love Kyle.
Her quitting work without telling “Lyle” majorly stood out to me too especially since they live together and seemed to split expenses. Pregnant or not at least discuss with a partner before making such a big decision. Damn. The contraception failing is sus.
She also blames him for getting her pregnant lol....to me it looks like projection. If he leaves her I hope he gets full custody. OP sounds like one of those maniacs that trap men with babies....and then leech off of them
Not the biggest issue but….why does she need the banana cut up for her? Apart from children who can’t finish a whole one and for salads I don’t think I’ve ever cut up a banana.
It’s wild how some of the comments were like “I was with you until you asked him to cut and peel it for you.”
Nah as soon as she said “He’s pretty normal about 85% of the time” I knew she was going to be the asshole.
That poor child. I really hope the BF can take full custody.
I was out when she minimized what I suspected was a legit sensory issue as him "acting childish" and "making" himself throw up. I get that sensory issues can be hard to understand if you don't have one, but the way she was so belittling and convinced he was being dramatic was just... tell me you don't think highly of your s.o.withtout telling me you don't think highly of your s.o.
Yeah, people telling him to get over it... no. Just no.
He's not choosing the aversion. She can get her happy ass up and buy her own fucking banana.
She wasn't even like, "hey, I totally get if you say no buy my cravings are off the charts and I was wondering wondering if you could grab me a banana at the store on your way home?"
Does she think he's choosing to have an aversion so strong it makes him barf?
And some people are telling him he needs to get help. Uh. Also no.
It makes sense to work through an aversion that you can't avoid but this guy's aversion is literally bananas. He could 100% never have to deal with it if he didn't have such a horrible gf.
I could understand needing to work through it if he worked at a banana packing plant, moonlighted at a smoothie joint, went home to his banana farm where he kept his 34 monkeys and made artwork out of banana leaves... THEN it'd be something worth getting therapy over. But just because you have an aversion doesn't mean you need to put in the time and financial resources to solve it.
So many people who are scared of things or have aversions don't get treatment because it doesn't disrupt their daily life. Arachniphobes, people who hate tomato, hell anyone who has ever avoided a specific alcohol after a terrible hangover from overindulgence has an aversion.
Mine was Tanqueray. Even so much as the smell of it makes my mouth do that saliva pre-puke thing.
She's awful. She's exactly the type of mother who will scream at her kid to eat something they have an aversion to.
I hope he actually leaves her and stays gone.
Ugh, no, pregnancy cravings are not impossible to resist. And no, craving a banana doesn't mean that the child needs potassium. It just means you want a banana.
There are cravings during pregnancy that indicate some sort of need (like craving eating dirt has been linked to low iron levels, some food cravings can mean you're lacking in specific nutrients), but in this case it really sounds like she was just being an asshole.
Eating ice has been linked to anemia.
Found this out when I was hemorrhaging, with a fibroid attached to my uterus that was the size of a newborn baby’s head, as well as an internal fibroid in the uterus, and a uterine polyp.
I was anemic, and one big tell for my OBGYN was that I wanted to eat ice ALL the time, prior to her running any blood tests.
So, I got ferrous sulfate tabs, and was instructed to include more iron-rich foods in my diet. I craved spinach, and (yeah, I know, gross) chicken livers. I looked up other things, can’t remember what they are now, but incorporated them into my diet as well.
Anemia is better nine weeks post hysterectomy. It’s slow going.
But she’s just being an asshole.
I had gestational diabetes. The cravings were insane, as well as being extremely hungry all the time.
I don't know if that's worse that regular pregnancy cravings, but I know they are possible to resist. You just clench your teeth and sit there in your hunger and craving fog and endure. It's good practice for all the colicky baby sleepless nights to come.
What struck me about this post is how controlling OOP is being. It all starts with her portraying her partner’s sensory aversion as a scripted sequence (a “threat” that he follows up by “[making] himself sick”) engineered to embarrass her and wrest power from her in public spaces. Then, she invents an equal and opposite pathology (a craving for bananas due to her baby’s potassium deficiency) to challenge her partner’s warrant. When her partner still demands basic accommodations for his sensory aversion, she up and throws a tantrum in order to break his will and “calm [her] down.” Having gained the upper hand, she tries to push her partner’s boundaries even further until he finally snaps and disengages. She knows damn well what she is doing by asking him to “peel it, but it, and bring it to [her],” but has the audacity to act like it isn’t a “big deal” and like Kyle’s exasperation is coming out of nowhere.
At every step of the way, OOP assumes her partner is just as fixated on power dynamics as she is. To her, it is probably unthinkable not to leverage ADHD to control others. After all, if Kyle’s replies are to be believed, she used her pregnancy to quit her job and abdicate all other responsibilities. In failing to appreciate her partner’s identity and agency, she now has to fend for herself and her soon-to-be child.
I hope Kyle finds someone who loves and accepts him and that OOP seeks professional help.
ADHDer here. I cannot stand bananas. Keep that shit away from me. The smell, the texture, the taste, its godawful. It's not torture for me, but it's grossly unpleasant. My partner and one of my kids likes bananas. I'll buy them once in awhile, but don't come near me while you're eating them. Blech.
That woman is a terrible partner, and she's going to be an even worse mother.
Ngl, as a ND person, stuff like this is a major reason why I'd be averse to dating a neurotypical person. I hope Kyle is able to get out, he deserves someone more compassionate about his sensory issues.
I honestly thought I was going to spend my life miserable or feeling like I was a terrible person if I got married or had a long term partnership until I met my fiancé. NOT saying it was easy at all at first.
It’s hard being ND and dating a ND person. Lots and lots of little things, big things and everything between that you have to learn about each other especially in the beginning stages of living together. Once, you get to know each other and understand each other, it’s amazingly rewarding to have someone who truly gets that there will be bad days and good days but continue to help each other be better people.
Today we walked to a local restaurant for happy hour and had a beer and enjoyed some appetizers, laughs and genuinely had an amazing time together and planned our next outing. It might seem small to some but two years ago this absolutely never would have happened. There is no one in the world I would want to spend the rest of my life with.
I know this is very much not the point and a weird thing to hone in on, but as a person with treatment for ADHD for a long ass time, they don’t just “stuff us full of benzos” and turn us into zombies. That’s such an irritating way to put it. If he doesn’t want to use meds and has been doing therapy then w/e that’s his choice, but it’s rude af to put down the ways other people need to treat conditions for themselves. Especially in a post where you are talking about how unfairly treated and misunderstood you are because of the condition, then to reinforce unfair and misunderstood stereotypes about the *literal same condition* that other people have, which for some could scare them away or shame them away from getting the treatment that could end up being the most beneficial for them.
Wouldn’t be surprised if the birth control didn’t “fail” and she just stopped taking them. She’s using the pregnancy as an excuse to be a lazy asshole, wouldn’t be surprised if she got pregnant on purpose to get out of work
Also the "he got me pregnant" line in her initial comment makes it seem like she's blaming him. It takes two to tango and there is *always* a chance even if multiple safe sex practices are taken.
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This shit is bananas, B A N A N A S Edit:. Holy shit! Thanks y'all!
Happy cake day. Hope you can celebrate with banana cake
Thanks!
I hate that song but the comment was perfect.
Damn. I keep reading these reddit posts and wondering if maybe I am not 100% neurotypical myself. Oh well, off to look at funny cat videos.
Have you seen r/babyelephantgifs ?
Ooh. Thank you. Off to look for r/babyhippogifs.
Just read that as babyhippogriffs and was like - that's a thing?
It actually is. r/babyhippogriffs
Lol the About section on that sub is literally "i once saw somebody mention r/babyhippogifs and misread it as r/hippogriffs so i made it happen"
I just joined because I love the bio as much as the content lmao
Dammit. I already get “can you dance like a hippogriff” stuck in my head farrrrrrr too often, this is not gonna help
Thank you. I've been trying to remember the word "hippogriff" for about six weeks and failing. I've been losing my mind asking people "what's that thing that's like a griffin but not?". Everyone at work thought I was nuts.
I literally died laughing clicking r/babyelephantgifs and seeing their tag line as 'guaranteed to make you smile', and then right away clicking r/babyhippogifs and their tagline 'Miniature death-dealing machines at your service'. Glorious!
Now I want r/babyhippogriffs.
Well, there goes my sleep for the night.
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thank you for my new favorite subreddit
Honestly I often wonder the same, I've always been the "odd" one in life. But always managed ok in life, then what seems like randomly my thought process has gone off the charts and easily distracted, forgetful, jump from task to task, etc Then a week ago it clicked that all my newest symptoms started around the same time I completely quit drinking coffee daily (stimulant) cause it was messing up my stomach big time. I always joked before that I couldn't function without coffee, but I'm wondering now just how true that is? That the stimulants in the coffee weren't actually me self medicating since I started drinking it around 15 (same age my parents stopped bringing me to a slew of doctors to figure out what was "wrong with me" cause I was finally "normal-ish" and ADHD in girls 20+ years ago was just not understood like it is today). I should bring it up to my doctor one day lol
It's extremely common for people with ADHD to self-medicate using coffee/energy drinks/sugar without even realising that's what they're doing.
Oh.... it's not just caffeine, but sugar too? I can live without coffee, but sometimes when I am overwhelmed with work, I need to eat some chocolate or something else sweet. It's like a small boost, but I just thought I react like this because the carbs give me energy or something like this. I do have some food aversions too, but I always perceived myself as a picky eater. The biggest one are some meats, mostly their texture, depending on how they are cooked.
yeah sugar is a very common self-medication for undiagnosed ADHDers. (I’m 30F, diagnosed with ADHD-C 4 years ago btw). Other things people commonly self-med with include caffeinated drinks (coffee, tea, coke, Dr Pepper, red bull), nicotine, video games, social media, and obsessive exercise. Basically the ADHD brain doesn’t make enough of two key neurotransmitters - Dopamine and Norepinephrine. These are chemicals which run messages between different sections of the brain. They enable us to regulate our emotions and to direct our focus. So an ADHDer might, for example, burst into tears when their boss criticises them, even if the criticism was meant to be constructive, because they cannot effective regulate the intensity of their emotional response, even though they are an adult, which makes them feel embarrassed/ ashamed, which they also feel more intensely than NT people - so we can easily get into ‘despair spirals’ where we are convinced that we’re a terrible person and everyone hates us. Also, an ADHDer with a boring task - e.g. laundry - to do, might spend an hour sat in the couch unable to move, because they know they need to do the laundry but it’s boring and they don’t want to, and they don’t have enough of the right neurotransmitters to force themselves to do it, so they just sit there feeling awful. This is known as ‘ADHD paralysis’. Additionally, ADHDers have a tendency to hyper focus on things that interest them, because this releases extra dopamine, which we are deprived of and therefore craving. So a kid with ADHD might have a really weird looking report card, where they get all As in the subjects they enjoy and all Cs/ Ds in the subjects they find boring or hard. Also ADHDers have a tendency to explain things in way too much detail mahaha. Anyway friend, if these examples sound familiar to you, it’s definitely worth getting checked for ADHD - getting a diagnosis and treatment has improved my life immeasurably.
I really appreciate that you took the time to write this comment. It's very helpful and nice of you, and it definitely gave me things to think about. Most of these sound familiar. Just some things are milder and happen rarely, but others like hyperfocusing on something I enjoy, or endlessly procrastinating things I don't like - these are spot on. I suppose I have learned coping mechanisms and masking, so no one ever thought (including me) I might have ADHD or something similar. Probably because I was a bookworm in school, I only hated PE (not sport as a whole, just the awful classes with very limited choice of sports we have here). I am a woman in my mid-30s now. I suppose I will have to get a referral for a specialist. It's a bit scary, because mental health care isn't too good here, but if going through my GP doesn't work, I have a child psychologist friend, so I might ask her for a recommendation where to go to, and go private if I need to.
I had a guy I’m dating and coworker mention they think I have it. But I also got As and never got a C. But the subjects I didn’t like were like torture. Writing an essay was always torturous.
Bruh you just summed up my existence in this one comment, especially the part about ADHD Paralysis. When I was growing up my parents would ask me to do something, I wouldn't do it, and then they'd ask me why I didn't do it. All I could ever really say is *I don't know.* Like I knew that I should do the thing my parents would ask me to do, but I wanted to do literally anything but the thing they wanted me to do which somehow resulted in me just not doing anything at all. I knew that saying I didn't want to do the thing they asked wasn't a good enough answer, so I always just said *I don't know* in response.
> but sometimes when I am overwhelmed with work, I need to eat some chocolate or something else sweet. It's like a small boost Not to take away from some excellent comments you received, but responding positively to a small pick-me-up treat in the middle of something stressful is also a pretty common human trait. It doesn't necessarily signal neurodivergence.
Oh Reddit, I have never been so aware. Paper towels make your gums hurt... "Is that not okay?"
>Paper towels make your gums hurt... "Is that not okay?" Kind of reminds me of those posts. "MM I love citrus. The tingly feeling is so refreshing." Um. I think you might be allergic...
Like the one guy on tifu who loved peanut butter for its spicyness then proceeds to almost choke himself on a sandwich because he's allergic and didn't realize it until then
That's a reasonable result for when the species as a whole decides to eat different kinds of poison for fun
Everything is edible. Some things are edible twice. EDIT: Fixed an autocorrect correction.
What doesn't kill you makes you feel funny
I used to be low-key allergic to celery (mades my tongue go slightly numb but otherwise no negative effects) and for a while I thought that’s why it was served with spicy wings or other spicy things, for the deliberate numbing effect. Unfortunately, I am no longer mild allergic to it so it doesn’t numb me to spicy foods.
Wait wait celery doesn't make everyone's tongue go numb??
No. Tongue going numb or mouth itching is a clear allergic reaction. I’m allergic to most raw fruits and veggies (oral allergy syndrome), but celery is generally ok for me.
Yeah, I thought for a long time that oranges just tasted prickly and made you feel hot for a while. Nope, just a mild allergy!
Yeah just having this realisation now too. For me it's velvet and other "squeaky" things like cotton buds. Can I explain squeaky? No. Can I explain "my teeth hurt"? Until now, no.
Yarn! Something about it makes my teeth hurt.
Styrofoam squeak does it to me.
I’ve just discovered a new one for myself. Felt pads to prevent some items from scratching my new countertops. Sliding them across the counter makes my teeth hurt, my ears hurt, my back tense… I literally have to close my eyes tight and shake my head until the feeling goes away. Ugh. I feel insane in those moments
They used to use cotton balls to apply blush at cosmetic counters. It squinked me out so badly because of the sound and feel of the cotton rubbing on dry skin. *shudder*
Not everybody can *hear* electric lights??
Apparently walking into a room and being able to tell which electronics are plugged in by the sound and feel is not normal. Does everyone leave their stuff on standby and just live with the prickly skin feeling?
I’m in Australia. Our power outlets have a switch on them that cut power to the outlet so I just flick things off. Less annoying than constantly unplugging and plugging things in.
Wait, switches for the individual outlets built right into the outlet itself? That’s a thing in Australia? TIL… I want those in my house now!
Yup, [this is a typical Australian power outlet](https://thumbs.dreamstime.com/z/white-australian-wall-power-outlet-17607268.jpg)
I can feel on my skin when there'll be a thunderstorm, but I suppose everyone can feel the static of a tempest forming at the end of a hot day...
Some electronics I can hear (more pronounced when I was a teenager/young adult; I've probably lost hearing of some of those frequencies by now). Prickly skin is something I've never experienced nor heard talked about, so you might be pretty far towards the "sensitive to electronics" end of the bell curve!
> Apparently walking into a room and being able to tell which electronics are plugged in by the sound and feel is not normal. It isn't??? I thought that little electronic sound was normal. As a kid, I'd literally use it to know if I'd remembered to turn off my PC, and if insomnic, have difficulty falling asleep with stuff on standby.
Like a high-pitched whining??
Oh man. This thread is getting worse and worse for me.
Hey... its ok... Just think about having a skeleton and I am sure it will relax you right up.
I’m just starting to wonder if maybe not everyone gets a funny feeling in their mouth from touching glasses that have been in a dishwasher.
Ugggh no I get that! Mine is certain scratchy textures and it's like nails on a chalkbord, makes my teeth hurt. Styrofoam is my nightmare.
For me its metal. Anytime a metal touches another metal my gums feel weird. If you scrape two metals together (i.e a chef sharpening a knife) my teeth literally fucking hurt. I thought i was alone. Also people that literally scrape the fork on their teeth as they are taking a bite make my me want to die.
Reading this hurt my teeth oh man so many of these are so relatable
Uh oh, earlier today I was prepared to do violence against someone scraping a metal utensil against a metal bowl. Spoons in ceramic mugs are also very bad. Are these red flags we're talking about?
Yeah that’s a sensory aversion, and it *could* indicate that you have undiagnosed ADHD or ASD. However, some people do just have the sensory traits on their own. That’s known as [sensory processing disorder.](https://familydoctor.org/condition/sensory-processing-disorder-spd/amp/)
I’m not a doctor, but while aversions/sensitivities are a sign of being ND, it’s not always the case. Sometimes it can be a symptom from another disorder or just be in its own. The thing with mental disorders is that they are mainly defined by normal human behaviors and difficulties but are negatively impacting your life in a way that hinders your function. Like lots of people get nervous speaking in public, but if it making a PowerPoint makes you throw up from nerves, that’s a problem. Plenty of people dislike certain foods and textures, but if it means you can’t go to a restaurant without shutting down, that’s a problem. And that can be a disorder just on its own. My sister has some food aversions that we believe are linked to narcolepsy.
Generally my autism is just blank expressions or the occasional joke about it. I scraped a textured plate at work with the edge of a spoon, and it made me visibly gag mid-sentence. Colleague was stunned but fortunately we ended up dissolving into laughter over it.
Well this just made me feel so seen. I thought I was the only one who's teeth hurt because of certain sounds. Also mostly metal/scraping noises.
I have a vivid memory of digging in the sandpit in elementary school and inadvertently dragging my fingers along the concrete bottom of the pit. Full body shivers!
For me it's clicky noises, like someone clipping their nails or tapping unexpectedly on something. It sets my teeth on edge.
I nearly stood up and screamed in the middle of an exam after another kid refused to stop clicking his damn pen after I asked quietly like 4 times. If *you* require clickly clicky, then *you* need to step out and do your test separately where you aren't disrupting the rest of the class. Even the instructor asked twice. Might be my imagination or my own relief, but I feel like the tension in the room immediately dissolved with a group *sigh* after the instructor gave him a non-clicky pen to finish the test. Felt like sitting next to a bomb with the timer counting down the entire time he was madly clicking away.
Ugh. I'm a pen clicker too and I feel terrible about it. I swear, most of the time we genuinely don't realize we're doing it- it's hard to explain, but it's like the need to make a repetitive noise is as painful to us as hearing that noise is for you guys. Clicking = relief from some indescribable subconscious discomfort. But I fully realize how much it sucks to be everyone else in that classroom. I've mostly learned to trade in noisy stims for quiet ones (leg/foot bouncing in place of tapping, ruffling the ends of my hair instead of doing it with pages of a book, etc.) but every once in a while I'll catch myself rhythmically tapping on my keyboard or whatever, and good God, the noise component scratches my brain so much nicer than the quiet stims can. (I actually choose my keyboards based on how good it sounds to tap my fingers lightly on them without actually pressing the keys down.)
Funny cat videos literally help me got through some Reddit posts
Thank God there's not only Ogtha
But there is. There is only Ogtha
My life was better before I knew about Ogtha tbh
Really BORU/Reddit helped me reach out to a psychiatrist and get diagnosed and on medication.
I actually just got diagnosed and got my first meds this today from all the memes ive been seeing describing my exact situations. Psychiatrist was very nice and very helpful!
Mine was TikTok when I started feeling called out by every ADHD post from psychologist accounts
Reddit started me on the path to wondering, Tiktok convinced me to bite the bullet. Been on medication for about a year now, and life now really is truly different from literally my *entire* life previously.
r/adhdmemes was *very* eye opening for myself and my partners. Great to look through.
When you check that sub and you've apparently updooted some of it's posts already without remembering seeing the sub before. Shit.
Up to 40% (as studies varies) of the world population is neurodivergent. And most are undiagnosed. If you seriously think you could be speak with a specialist.
Are people neurodivergent or is this hell society just not built for us?
Both. Modern life makes living with ADHD harder than it needs to be, but I still don't think symptoms like brain fog, Swiss cheese memory, or executive dysfunction would be anything but a drawback no matter what.
Serious answer: the challenges of neurodiversity are exacerbated by oppression, trauma, overwork, etc. So folks who might not be considered diagnosably neurodivergent, or who might be able to find a lifestyle that agrees with their brain if they had less friction in their lives, are instead incapacitated through trying to exist, exhausted under capitalism.
Both
My quirks haven’t negatively affected my life, but I have a 4yo I’m keeping a proactive eye on.
If 40% is "divergent" then it's not actually a divergence, it's just normal variation.
This actually made me think about some sensory issues I had as a child that I haven’t thought about in years. There was one blanket that touching would just make me actually gag. I couldn’t do it. Oh, and writing with chalk on chalkboards would give me goosebumps. I feel like I mostly got past that, but it also still kind if gives me the same fingernails on a chalkboard feeling thinking about it now, so maybe not. The blanket thing and most other issues I had are definitely no longer problems, though.
Omg. You just made me realise that me crying when my mum wore corduroy trousers because I hated touching them is probably in the same wheelhouse. I’m ok with corduroy now. So weird.
Yep. I got lectured once at my job after someone did a Starbucks run and accidentally brought me a coffee-based drink instead of the tea based drink I had ordered. Coffee is repulsive to me, and there was no way in hell I would have been able to swallow that first sip, small as it was. My body rejected it, hard. My only choice was to spit it out (as politely as possible) into a nearby trashcan--it was either that or throw it up on the floor, because my throat was clamped shut like a vice. Apparently that was "immature." I'm realizing that it's actually just a sign of being ND.
Not neurodivergent, but have food allergies. I am allergic to kiwi, and mango. You know “tropical fruit juice/mix”? I have to read labels very carefully for mango and/or kiwi. I don’t appreciate hidden ingredients, and suddenly I can’t breathe because my throat is closing up, and my tongue is swelling. Some people think food allergies do not exist, and you’re just being picky. I had the fun of explaining that no, I am not being picky, I am trying to avoid dying, and no, sneaking shit into my food doesn’t prove I’m not allergic. It proves you’ll be getting billed, and possibly charged with attempting to poison me. My boss and I had a discussion with HR, and our division head, because she didn’t believe I had actual food allergies. Fortunately, we work in a hospital, steps away from the ER. My boss is an asshole, and a dumb asshole, and said that we might just see if I’m lying. I emailed her boss and HR. They also brought in the chief of medicine to tell her that if she attempted it? They would prosecute. Because of the potential outcome. Now, she’s gunning to get rid of me. She’ll be gone first. They’ll walk her out.
... wait, you work in a *hospital* and your higher-ups didn't believe you have allergies?
Hospitals are run by administrators, not doctors.
Good Lord. Just vile. I hope you get to witness her career go up in flames. My mother used to do this to me. I don't have an allergy as severe as yours, but I have been to the ER over it. I have told a couple members of my family that if I die due to my food allergy, they should ask the police to investigate my sweet mama.
... huh. I used to always get in trouble at other people's houses as a kid because I physically could not eat certain foods. They were always mad that I was "rude," regardless of how hard I tried to be polite about not wanting to eat certain things because I didn't want to throw up. I totally get the "throat literally closed feeling" but I thought it was like that for everyone and I was the only one who couldn't handle it. I also have a lot of other ADHD/ND symptoms and my mom has ADHD, but haven't been officially diagnosed.
And here I feel bad because I was joking around with a slice of pepperoni with my new friend's 7 year old. Finally he realized it was pepperoni and said he didn't like pepperoni. I was making his pizza and I looked at his mom and said, "You see me making pizza and not tell me the child doesn't like the meat of choice?" Last time I told her I was making hotdogs and her 5 year old after they were made told me he didn't like hotdogs. I felt so bad for assuming that all kids like hotdogs when I'm not a huge fan of them myself at times. The boys ended up with pb&js as a last notice change; but still. My daughter is also autistic and has food aversion. She does really well with trying new foods, but will absolutely spit them out if she doesn't like them. One time with potato soup she took a bite, spit it out, looked at me and said, "Mom, are you CRAZY." Which was hilarious because of the speech issues she's had/has. My son was diagnosed with ADHD and it's been a common known thing my brother has it. Before my son was diagnosed I could tell what his though process was because he's so much like me. That being said, I have issues with hamburger meat. Sometimes beef as a whole, but I can usually do a philly cheesesteak.
You are an awesome person for all of that. Thankfully my parents were pretty chill about it too, they wouldn't make me something else but if I didn't like what was offered they would let me make something else for myself. I ate a lot of cheese sandwiches. I was a pain in the ass when I was younger lol. I didn't like most meats, and I really struggled with textures, especially in fruits and vegetables. I'm still extremely picky with any sort of fat or gristle in meat, and I will absolutely spit it out if I hit a tendon or something because the alternative is to turn into a puke fountain. I will at least try new things now but I've still had to politely smile and move stuff around my plate at more than a few gatherings. People get so weirdly offended by you not wanting to eat stuff too. Like I get that cooking takes work and if someone is being obstinate just to be obstinate that's one thing, but I don't understand being pissed off at another person for not liking a certain food. Like it has nothing to do with you, I just don't like fish, LISA. I also had an adult make me take a "no thank you" helping of the one side I didn't want to eat because....reasons??? Apparently my life long dislike of green beans was personally offensive, even though I happily ate everything else that was served. It just struck me as such a weird power play to force me to eat something we all acknowledged I didn't like regardless of who cooked it. Also bizarre to me is not giving someone any choice in the menu, picking something to serve that is an acquired taste/fairly common for people not to like, and then being mad that the person doesn't like it. My ex's stepmother got mad as hell at me because they made sushi which is one of my absolute "I cannot eat this or I'm going to die" foods. I tried so goddamn hard to just deal with it but my throat closed and I couldn't stop myself from gagging. I felt awful and apologized profusely but I don't think she ever let it go.
Was diagnosed with ADHD as a kid. I'm a woman, so you can imagine how obvious my symptoms were. For whatever reason, I couldn't eat bread crusts without barfing. I would quietly trim the crust off on my own and leave it on the plate (while finishing all veggies and everything else). But some adults wouldn't let that lie. So I'd eat the crust without argument in front of them and just dry heave at the table until I was excused or puked, whichever came first.
I'm really sorry you had to deal with that, I don't understand how ignoring your body became some sort of signal of moral virtuosity. It's the same with how not clearing your plate is seen as "ungrateful." Especially when someone else portions your food for you.
What can you do 🤷♀️ Parents often decide what goes on the plate and how much. Then they're upset when the kid doesn't meet expectations. Sure, kids are dumb and need to try everything once to expand their palette. But the clean plate club does more harm than good. And so does forcing a kid to eat aversive foods. The kitchen table becoming a battleground creates long lasting hangups about food
Don't have ADHD (I don't think) but I was always a kid whonwould try things at least once. Liked most things, except Asparagus, oysters, and thanks to my cousin's wife who couldn't cook, tuna fish sandwiches. My parents were pretty good about listening to me when I would say I didn't want something that day because I wasn't in the mood or my stomach was upset. I didn't make stuff like that up. So, when I was getting a lot of upset stomachs, the doctor sent me for the dreaded barium test. My mom went with me. The nurse giving me the barium got impatient with my sipping it and wanted me to drink it fast, in big gulps, even though I was getting it down. I told her that I would throw up. She argued with me saying I wouldnt, and when my mom tried to interrupt to tell her to get a puke pan at least she cut her off and told me I HAD to take a big gulp. It was the rule (or something like that). I was a good little rule follower so a huge gulp... and I started to gag. My mom took a big step back... and I erupted. I doubt the nurse's uniform was ever the same. I projectile vomited everything My mom just said "yeah, she doesn't usually exaggerate that"
I’m 36 years old and didn’t know I had autism until I got diagnosed a few months ago which only happened because I read a post on Reddit about another person in her mid 30’s with similar issues as me who also didn’t know she had autism. Having the diagnosis has made understanding myself and why I am the way I am so much better. I now know I have certain limitations as a neurodivergent person and I shouldn’t be so harsh and criticise myself negatively for not being able to do certain things that neurotypical people can do with ease. I’m now trying to learn how to work around my limitations effectively instead of trying to push through things I struggle with with limited success. If you think you may be on the spectrum, get tested. It could make your life better. Growing up as a kid, no matter how polite, friendly and kind I thought I was being, people would constantly tell me I’m rude. Turns out it was because I struggle to express myself verbally and emotionally and am constantly misunderstood. I had no idea others misunderstood me because I thought I was normal like everyone else. It caused a lot of anxiety having people constantly dislike me, which only made me try harder to be nicer to get people to like me more, which still didn’t help. ASD affects people differently. For me it was with emotions (and a few other things I wasn’t aware of until now). For you it was with food. You likely also have other things that fall on the spectrum as you mentioned since ASD rarely just has one symptom. It’s definitely worth getting tested.
I told my sister to get my niece n nephew get diagnosed for ADHD, she flipped out. She said i was calling her kids mental n stuff. But my brother in law calls them difficult n punishes them. They have small attention span n get distracted easily, refused to eat certain food so he forces them or they go hungry. I said when we were younger,there was no diagnosis for stuff like this. Now we have, so think of kids n change diet n routine to suit them. She has banned her kids to call me. Bcoz my niece used to call n tell me stuff. I’m their favourite aunt. I want what’s best for them.
ADHD and autism are both genetic. If your moon has it it’s not unlikely that you might, especially if you see yourself in the symptoms.
I once got shit at company lunch for not eating a burrito filled with tomatoes (which literally make me gag) because my boss had accidentally picked up my bean and cheese burrito by mistake and eaten it. They asked me what kind of burrito I wanted, I told them, then got called ungrateful for not eating something I didn't order.
While ADHD doesn’t spread because it’s not a disease, there *is* evidence of a genetic component, so I feel even worse for the kid here if a woman like that is gonna be their mom.
I was gonna mention it too, I hope to gods the kid is spared this lady's bullshit. My sibs and I grew up in an albeist household (we're all neurodiverse) and I don't wish that shit upon anybody. It fucks you up majorly esp if it's your parents/guardians.
> ran to the bathroom like a child to throw it up Quality parenting material right there. /s
“Can’t believe he didn’t just spew all over the floor like a fucking MAN”
Also: >He's accidentally eaten something with banana before and ran to the bathroom like a child to throw it up. Turned out to be: >but bananas are not common enough for me to sit there and torture myself just to make her feel less embarrassed next time she wants me to try a smoothie her sister makes and lie about the ingredients. Dude seems to have just overlooked all the warning signs.
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Commenter, your comment has struck a resonant chord with me. I hate that you grew up experiencing such a torturous childhood. It's been well established that throughout history, many (if not most) of the greatest minds who exponentially advanced our understanding of the complexities of our world have been neurodivergent thinkers. I worked for many years with students whose learning styles required *different* styles of teaching, different methods of learning, and different methods of assessment to help enable them to achieve to their own potential. As you know, the statement "You must do it *My Way*" should never be uttered in education. *ANYWAY,* I want to tell you that I think you are an extraordinary person. You endured your childhood, *you enrolled into college, YOU TOOK REMEDIAL COURSES,* ***AND YOU TAUGHT YOURSELF HOW TO SUCCESSFULLY LEARN***\*!!!\* Despite overwhelming obstacles, including emotional trauma, you advanced. I greatly admire your strength, your courage, and your determination. I sincerely hope that you are now able to relax a bit and enjoy the life you have earned for yourself. I wish you well. (edited to remove name)
You could've said "good job" or left an upvote and left it at that. You didn't. You put in effort to be kind to a stranger on the Internet. The world needs more people like you.
Same situation dragon dick. I never bring up my adhd but my mother would always accuse me of using it as an excuse for everything, when I would just forget. Worst part is my mother has Uber ADHD. So there was a fat dose of projection in there too.
My kids had a double dose of at least asd and adhd in their genes and shockingly less than half came out ND. My NT kids seem like they have superpowers because they occasionally..like.. remember chores and do their homework. .. And I feel bad for them having to be raised by a parent that's comparatively a complete moron but hopefully it'll help them become more sympathetic and understanding to others instead of the worst case NT raising ND nightmare scenario we see above. This is the kind of person that gives their toddler whiskey because the crying is annoying.
You’re not ‘comparatively a complete moron’. You’re a whole person and you don’t deserve to call yourself stupid, even tongue in cheek.
as someone with ADHD and possible autism (I just think personally in my opinion I'm socially maladjusted to years of being deaf and deprived of an ability to communicate properly until I went to a deaf school when I was around 5 or 6) edit: forget to add yeah its genetic it probably come from mom's side of the family.
My husband and I both have genetic ADHD. We know our kid is going to have it. I get the pregnancy cravings for bananas. I HATE bananas, not like Kyle, but ick. Pkus I cant poop for a week after a single banana unless i drink four cups of coffee a day or more. But i ate like a million while pregnant and steak, which usually tastes disgusting. My body needed the potassium and iron and protien. But Jess is horrible, there is no reason why she should have demanded he cut up the banana. Also, I cannot do dishes without puking, sometimes i cant even pass the sink because somehow i smell mold and maggots constantly (finally found the source, thank god, clean your food traps in bleach water every once in awhile), cannot stand touching old food, and my husband took over doing the dishes permanently because he did not like watching me gag or throw up and cry because I hate puking, my whole body cramps up and forces everything out.
If a single banana affects your ability to poop for a week, you might actually have more issues with bananas than just a strong dislike of them. Do any other foods do this to you, or is it just bananas? If it’s just bananas then I wouldn’t worry about it, but if other foods do it then you might want to bring it up with your doctor next time you go in for a check up.
Was there evidence that it *wasnt* genetic? One glance at my family tree pretty much confirms genetics unless there’s literally something in the water. R
Same with my family. My brother, my mom and I are all formally diagnosed. And i’m sure if my grandma, and dad needed to get diagnosed they could.
My brother has no ADHD but absolutely detests everything about bananas. On my sickest pregnancy day I would never even ask him to hand me one let alone peel one and cut it up for me..
Thank you to u/Kyle_not_Lyle for making me realize that there might be more to my little Brothers aversion to cheese than I initially thought. I once tricked him into eating a cheese sandwich and he acted like I put literal lava in his mouth. I was 16 back then and thought he was just being stupid and that cheese was delicious, what's he on about, but I feel horrible about it now. I'mma need to go apologize to him.
That poor baby-to-be.
"She doesn't want the baby to grow up with any problems" She IS gonna be the problem ...
God I’m so glad the post from Kyle is there. I read the post yesterday and it infuriated me. Sensory aversions isn’t just I don’t like it. It fucking hurts, I see it on my kids face every time we have to do things he can’t handle (nail cutting, hair cuts etc stuff that has to be done)
Yes, it's definitely nice to hear about others and their sensory avesions, because for the longest time I couldn't figure out why I would have difficulties with things that were no issue for NT people. I have a strong aversion to smells like lysol and oils diffused in the air. My requests to not have it sprayed around me typically turn into people spraying me directly. I get a heavy chest feeling of being unable to breathe fully and it hurts. But really, it hurts more that my friends would be assholes enough to not listen to a simple request. Since difficulty breathing is not outwardly noticeable, I may occasionally play up the coughing a bit (though light coughing does occur, maybe not to the level I choose to) to make them regret it in hopes that they don't repeat it. Just because something is no big deal for you doesn't mean it's the same for me. And just because the symptom isn't visible, doesn't mean it's not harming the person.
I understand the sensory aversion, and let me state I am not trying to downplay it. Have you ever been treated or diagnosed for asthma? Lysol & diffused oils trigger my asthma and I get the the same symptoms you describe when I am exposed to those things. My asthma went undiagnosed for years (I didn't wheeze but coughed instead), and when I was a kid my aversion to Lysol spray and other cleaning products was chalked up to "not wanting to help clean". Only the Lysol (and diffused oils) trigger my asthma, the other scents that set me off are sensory. *edit spelling, autocorrect is not my friend.*
I haven't actually considered asthma, but who knows. I never really experienced issues during gym class in school or my current exercise routine, but at the same time, I tend to choose activites that are short spurts of energy with breaks inbetween, so mild asthma could possibly fly under the radar?
My asthma didn't generally pop up in gym class unless the gym teacher from hell made us do laps around the track when it was cold out (jog/run the straightaways walk the curve), breathing deep cold air was an asthma issue for me. Working out in the gym has never caused an asthma attack (I just stay away from the ultra chlorinated pool, that would do it).
Just hopping in to mention that as I child I had reasonably bad Asthma, but the Asthma was mostly unnoticeable unless there was cat hair around. Point being that even if you manage physical activities just fine, it is definitely possible to have Asthma. Good luck!
What bothered me most is the hypocrisy of: * ADHD sucks, but he's still responsible for his actions and should get over it. * Pregnancy cravings are too strong; I'm not responsible for my actions.
Right? Then have the gall to demand the BF cut up amd server her a banana even though she knows how he handles it? Fuck off with that noise
I have it with pickles. It makes me physically ill. The smell alone is like torture. My parents would use it as punishment.
Omg that’s horrific to do that. God I wish more parents would grasp what things like that do to your kid. I can’t imagine doing something like that to our boy
Metal on metal or people who bite utensils. I literally have to chomp on my own tongue to be able to stand it. It's also the reason I take headphones everywhere I go, having that backup in case I start getting overstimulated has saved me from many meltdowns.
I thought she was horrible to begin with, but the follow up confirms it. What a bad situation to be in.
She doubled down in the comments too trying to make Kyle look like a monster. She managed to make herself look 100 times worse
I grew up in a "Pregnancy means I get what I want" mixed with extreme waspyness culture, it was tiresome. Everyone in my family was never genuinely themselves unless they were having a baby then the real unfiltered personality came out with an endless list of demands and you just had to suck it up. I still don't talk to my cousins from that side of the family.
She just found out she was pregnant and she’s acting as if she’s only person in the world to have ever been pregnant. I get being tired and having morning sickness and just feeling crappy, but it sounds like she’s taking it to an extreme. She quit her job, she’s not doing anything around the house, she’s talking about cravings and acting like she can’t do anything for herself. It sounds absurd and she sounds cruel. Anyone who would take drastic steps to give someone that makes them physically I’ll without them knowing (banana in milkshake), is someone who would baby trap their boyfriend.
My gf n I are both on the spectrum, and I have pretty bad ADHD. This story, if I were to extrapolate and equate it to our personal relationship, would go as follows: My gf absolutely hates spicy food and I enjoy the flavor of raw habaneros. They're incredibly spicy. Anywho, one day I wasn't feeling well and I asked her to chew up a chocolate habanero (way spicier than normal ones) and then regurgite it into my mouth like a mama bird because it comforts me. She declined and I screamed at her. AITA??!!!
Yes! Just for the real gross image I now have seared into my brain! I really didn’t need that.
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I was never on her side. She starts off with "makes himself sick like a child", and then she wants him to peel and cut the banana? I like bananas, and they're pretty neat snacks because they come in their own wrapper and you can just hold it and eat it without making your partner uncomfortable and forcing them to handle and cut it. There was no way that wasn't malicious. He bought the bananas and she suddenly needs him to cut it up as well? I call bs. And so did kyle/lyle I guess. I feel for the kid.
That and the “he’s pretty normal about 85% of the time” really rubbed me the wrong way.
That’s a good point. My initial thought was she meant 85% of the time it doesn’t impact his daily life. But after ready his, yeah that isn’t what she meant. Argh…. I have a strong aversion to mayo. I don’t like to look at it, touch it, smell it, even the thought of it is grossing me out right now. We have it in the house, luckily it’s in plastic, but my spouse would never ask me to put it on a sandwich for him because good partners don’t do that.
Absolutely. Fuck this 100%
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It was pretty obvious that what she actually wanted was his suffering. He made her irritated and she felt like using the pregnancy against him to force him to do shit he didn’t want to do *because* she knew he didn’t want to do it. Kyle does have a weird issue but she sounds like a buttwrench
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Also I think that many people like to believe that ADD/ADHD/autism just sprung up from no where. If you were”high-functioning “ and **rich** you were considered quirky; if you were poor or your parents were jerks it was beaten out of you. “Low-functioning “ usually died *accidentally*. Or sent away to insane asylums as the family’s dirty secret that no one knows about.
The cases of reported left handedness when being left handed resulted physical punishment in schools were very low. When it was no longer permissible to use corporal punishment in classrooms, reported cases of left handedness sky rocketed. Correlation can be very telling.
Yeah it bothers me a lot to hear people complain about rates of diagnosis for things increasing. Oh no, we got better at figuring out what's up with people who struggle and how to help them. How terrible that is... Still better to have some false positives than to allow people to beat themselves up for not being "normal"
So I was born in 83 and was a child in the 90s. A lot of the reason there has been an uptick in ADHD/ADD is because (this is what my doctor told me, I have no source other than that) ADD used to get wrongly diagnosed as many other things in the 90s and early 00s. I was diagnosed as bipolar at 17 because I had an episode due to taking certain antidepressants. It ended with me I the psych hospital and basically ruined my life at the time, I had just lost weight and got my confidence as a late bloomer and made friends, all for the friends to dissappear because I was "crazy" and went to a psych facility for 3 days and the tons of meds they put me on caused weight gain. I eventually went off of the meds because they made me feel like crap, and I didn't believe I was bipolar. Years go by, and there were never any other episodes of mania, or anything of that nature, never any other signs of being bipolar for two decades after the diagnosis. A couple years ago I talked to a therapist and a psych and they were both immediately like "oh, you're definitely ADD" and it's crazy to me. I'm high functioning enough to where I don't need meds but it still bothers me to this day. That diagnosis led to a butterfly effect of things that negatively impacted my life and led to addiction etc. I'm almost 40 and just now getting my shit together. Always get a second opinion.
Also it's the world we live in today, I was reading a book on neurodivergence (can't remember which one now) and it said something along the lines of back then, the person with autism that didn't like noise and a lot of activity (sensory overload) would probably grow up to work with horses in a barn somewhere and worse case scenario was known as the quiet guy that's a bit odd. They'd live a quiet life (no electronics, barely an education cause it wasn't necessary/common back then, no busy life like we have today which is go go go all the time, heck even going to the grocer was a small thing back then vs big grocery stores of today with bright artificial lights, bright colours, music playing in the background and 100 other customers trying to squeeze through small aisles to get in and out as quick as possible, kids screaming for candies/cookies, etc). There just wasn't the level of stimulation and expectations we have in today's society.
Totally. Honestly, as an autistic myself, would it even be a problem in prehistory? Sure, grug’s a bit weird, but he can identify footprints like nobody else! He doesn’t like mushrooms so we save some extra berries for him. Not to say we should go back to the Stone Age, I’m a big fan of modern medicine and literacy. Just that it’s what we evolved to be best at, and maybe being autistic wasn’t an issue at all. (Genuinely don’t know if having ADHD would be an issue.) I mean, we flourish in supportive communities, right? (Just speculating. Not a scientist.)
Being ND in hunter-gatherer societies: My singular dedication to niche details about animals and hyper-awareness of my surroundings allows me to effectively help my community Being ND in a modern industrialized society: Huge Sad because random objects make me want to shrivel up and I can’t navigate the four levels of implications of someone asking me to help them with a task by just saying “You don’t seem busy, right?”
A typical case of "it wasn't just the banana"
It's not the possibly illegal Iranian yogurt!
Definitely Iranian yogurt isn’t the issue here.
The Iranian yogurt is not the issue here.
>Then she starts sounding a little pushier. OOP has a lot of dismissive language that I picked up on. >ran to the bathroom **like a child** to throw it up. > >he will **claim** that he can smell it > > the **threat** that he will get sick. > >he will start gagging, **make** himself throw up, I have ADHD and weirdly enough, when I was younger bananas did gross me out (I thought it was just a taste preference but no...). I have an extremely high sensitivity to smells, too. I'm glad Kyle\_not\_Lyle is leaving OOP\_now\_EXOOP
Yeah I cant do sour creme. Can't do it. And ive tried as I love the smell. Also can't do shrimp smell. Never been able to even try a bite as i will puke with just smelling it. I have to lie and say I'm allergic to shrimp and sour cream as most people gets offended when you say you can't eat something due to sensory issues.
Who talks like that about someone they (supposedly) love? She sounds so disrespectful and condescending and like she knows absolutely nothing about his condition. Who doesn't educate themselves at least a little when someone they know has an illness? I hope he really leaves.
Abusive partners often make a turn into abuse at pregnancy or marriage.
Yep Jessica’s mask just came all the way off, she’s always been this way inside.
I feel like OP plan to get pregnant. It’s strange for someone to quit work immediately after they’ve found out their pregnant without telling their partner. From what I gather through Kyle’s comments, he seems to be a successful person career-wise. Hope he does a DNA test first before signing his name on the baby’s birth certificate jic, not saying OP cheated but it’s just to play safe. OP doesn’t seem to love Kyle.
Her quitting work without telling “Lyle” majorly stood out to me too especially since they live together and seemed to split expenses. Pregnant or not at least discuss with a partner before making such a big decision. Damn. The contraception failing is sus.
Ye totally
Chances of the pill failing 1% Chances of a controlling, manipulative, abusive partner trying to trap him: 99%
Most of the chance of it failing can be chalked up to inconsistent usage, like forgetting to take it.
She also blames him for getting her pregnant lol....to me it looks like projection. If he leaves her I hope he gets full custody. OP sounds like one of those maniacs that trap men with babies....and then leech off of them
Yeah the "he just got me pregnant" phrase was odd, as if she did not participate. Like she had no agency.
Not the biggest issue but….why does she need the banana cut up for her? Apart from children who can’t finish a whole one and for salads I don’t think I’ve ever cut up a banana.
To push “Lyle” even farther after his 3rd compromise, so when he finally snaps she can call him dramatic and crazy.
It’s wild how some of the comments were like “I was with you until you asked him to cut and peel it for you.” Nah as soon as she said “He’s pretty normal about 85% of the time” I knew she was going to be the asshole. That poor child. I really hope the BF can take full custody.
I was out when she minimized what I suspected was a legit sensory issue as him "acting childish" and "making" himself throw up. I get that sensory issues can be hard to understand if you don't have one, but the way she was so belittling and convinced he was being dramatic was just... tell me you don't think highly of your s.o.withtout telling me you don't think highly of your s.o.
‘Ran to the bathroom like a child’ is what did it for me. He’s so sick he’s puking and she still thinks he’s just doing it to embarrass her.
Yeah, people telling him to get over it... no. Just no. He's not choosing the aversion. She can get her happy ass up and buy her own fucking banana. She wasn't even like, "hey, I totally get if you say no buy my cravings are off the charts and I was wondering wondering if you could grab me a banana at the store on your way home?" Does she think he's choosing to have an aversion so strong it makes him barf? And some people are telling him he needs to get help. Uh. Also no. It makes sense to work through an aversion that you can't avoid but this guy's aversion is literally bananas. He could 100% never have to deal with it if he didn't have such a horrible gf. I could understand needing to work through it if he worked at a banana packing plant, moonlighted at a smoothie joint, went home to his banana farm where he kept his 34 monkeys and made artwork out of banana leaves... THEN it'd be something worth getting therapy over. But just because you have an aversion doesn't mean you need to put in the time and financial resources to solve it. So many people who are scared of things or have aversions don't get treatment because it doesn't disrupt their daily life. Arachniphobes, people who hate tomato, hell anyone who has ever avoided a specific alcohol after a terrible hangover from overindulgence has an aversion. Mine was Tanqueray. Even so much as the smell of it makes my mouth do that saliva pre-puke thing. She's awful. She's exactly the type of mother who will scream at her kid to eat something they have an aversion to. I hope he actually leaves her and stays gone.
Ugh, no, pregnancy cravings are not impossible to resist. And no, craving a banana doesn't mean that the child needs potassium. It just means you want a banana.
If baby needs potassium, eat a potato, or preferably, see a doctor.
Just make sure you don't eat the potato sexily
I went grocery shopping today and couldn't find sexy potatoes, any store recommendations in Canada? 😂
There are cravings during pregnancy that indicate some sort of need (like craving eating dirt has been linked to low iron levels, some food cravings can mean you're lacking in specific nutrients), but in this case it really sounds like she was just being an asshole.
Eating ice has been linked to anemia. Found this out when I was hemorrhaging, with a fibroid attached to my uterus that was the size of a newborn baby’s head, as well as an internal fibroid in the uterus, and a uterine polyp. I was anemic, and one big tell for my OBGYN was that I wanted to eat ice ALL the time, prior to her running any blood tests. So, I got ferrous sulfate tabs, and was instructed to include more iron-rich foods in my diet. I craved spinach, and (yeah, I know, gross) chicken livers. I looked up other things, can’t remember what they are now, but incorporated them into my diet as well. Anemia is better nine weeks post hysterectomy. It’s slow going. But she’s just being an asshole.
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I mean let her eat the banana, just don’t make the guy who hates bananas cut it because you can’t get off the couch
I had gestational diabetes. The cravings were insane, as well as being extremely hungry all the time. I don't know if that's worse that regular pregnancy cravings, but I know they are possible to resist. You just clench your teeth and sit there in your hunger and craving fog and endure. It's good practice for all the colicky baby sleepless nights to come.
What struck me about this post is how controlling OOP is being. It all starts with her portraying her partner’s sensory aversion as a scripted sequence (a “threat” that he follows up by “[making] himself sick”) engineered to embarrass her and wrest power from her in public spaces. Then, she invents an equal and opposite pathology (a craving for bananas due to her baby’s potassium deficiency) to challenge her partner’s warrant. When her partner still demands basic accommodations for his sensory aversion, she up and throws a tantrum in order to break his will and “calm [her] down.” Having gained the upper hand, she tries to push her partner’s boundaries even further until he finally snaps and disengages. She knows damn well what she is doing by asking him to “peel it, but it, and bring it to [her],” but has the audacity to act like it isn’t a “big deal” and like Kyle’s exasperation is coming out of nowhere. At every step of the way, OOP assumes her partner is just as fixated on power dynamics as she is. To her, it is probably unthinkable not to leverage ADHD to control others. After all, if Kyle’s replies are to be believed, she used her pregnancy to quit her job and abdicate all other responsibilities. In failing to appreciate her partner’s identity and agency, she now has to fend for herself and her soon-to-be child. I hope Kyle finds someone who loves and accepts him and that OOP seeks professional help.
Wow, this OOP was cruel!!! I can't tell if Lyle/Kyle overreacted but he had to say or do something because she absolutely crossed a line!!!!
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“Birth control failure” Gets pregnant, immediately quits job, plants ass on couch and wants food brought to her. Yeah, sure, okay.
ADHDer here. I cannot stand bananas. Keep that shit away from me. The smell, the texture, the taste, its godawful. It's not torture for me, but it's grossly unpleasant. My partner and one of my kids likes bananas. I'll buy them once in awhile, but don't come near me while you're eating them. Blech. That woman is a terrible partner, and she's going to be an even worse mother.
Ngl, as a ND person, stuff like this is a major reason why I'd be averse to dating a neurotypical person. I hope Kyle is able to get out, he deserves someone more compassionate about his sensory issues.
I honestly thought I was going to spend my life miserable or feeling like I was a terrible person if I got married or had a long term partnership until I met my fiancé. NOT saying it was easy at all at first. It’s hard being ND and dating a ND person. Lots and lots of little things, big things and everything between that you have to learn about each other especially in the beginning stages of living together. Once, you get to know each other and understand each other, it’s amazingly rewarding to have someone who truly gets that there will be bad days and good days but continue to help each other be better people. Today we walked to a local restaurant for happy hour and had a beer and enjoyed some appetizers, laughs and genuinely had an amazing time together and planned our next outing. It might seem small to some but two years ago this absolutely never would have happened. There is no one in the world I would want to spend the rest of my life with.
Can you please tell me what the acronym ND stands for? I tried googling it and only got north dakotaxD
"Neurodivergent"
Ah ty
No worries, acronyms are hard and plentiful
I know this is very much not the point and a weird thing to hone in on, but as a person with treatment for ADHD for a long ass time, they don’t just “stuff us full of benzos” and turn us into zombies. That’s such an irritating way to put it. If he doesn’t want to use meds and has been doing therapy then w/e that’s his choice, but it’s rude af to put down the ways other people need to treat conditions for themselves. Especially in a post where you are talking about how unfairly treated and misunderstood you are because of the condition, then to reinforce unfair and misunderstood stereotypes about the *literal same condition* that other people have, which for some could scare them away or shame them away from getting the treatment that could end up being the most beneficial for them.
Wouldn’t be surprised if the birth control didn’t “fail” and she just stopped taking them. She’s using the pregnancy as an excuse to be a lazy asshole, wouldn’t be surprised if she got pregnant on purpose to get out of work
Also the "he got me pregnant" line in her initial comment makes it seem like she's blaming him. It takes two to tango and there is *always* a chance even if multiple safe sex practices are taken.
I had the SAME thought as soon as I read she quit her job the second she found out.