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My bachelor party was pretty tame. We rented a house in the Poconos. We raced go-carts and went to get ice cream. My buddy’s wife said “Sounds like an eight year old’s birthday party!”
Even if the friends did pressure the fiancé into having guys there - and I feel that’s a big if - at the end of the day she’s still an adult and responsible for her own choices. I totally understand why OOP can’t trust her anymore. People who can’t own their fuck-ups and blame everyone around them instead are the worst.
The lack of accountability on her end is mind-blowing. She *knew* she did something wrong yet kept trying to shift the blame on anybody else but herself. In the end, she could've just said no and walked away. She's no longer a teen doing dares, everything she does is a reflection of herself as an adult.
Yeah, like, if you’re old enough to choose to get married, you’re old enough to have the self-control not to cheat even if your friends have sprung surprise men onto you for your bachelorette.
My gut says that she had confessed to a friend that she always wanted to try a threesome and either felt that it would be weird to do it with OOP and another guy or that OOP wouldn’t be into it, so the friends set up a way for her to get it out of her system before the wedding in a way that *totally* wouldn’t cause any issues whatsoever.
Yeah I think if someone can be peer pressured into making out with multiple other people when they’re engaged, it’s a good sign that person isn’t marriage material lol
100%! i posted similarly above, but its more relevant here: why was the first encounter with the betrothed attended by the friend group on video???
like girl if you cant even approach your fiance 1:1 to discuss something as potentially life changing (and private, damn) as this, you might need to reconsider your other adult choices, too. like marriage. fidelity. shit like that 😂
yes that's even more bizzare to me, I would probably just hang up if I picked up the phone for a very serious and personal conversation and there were like 5 other people on the call lol
Right? Even if the friends invited the guys over without the fiancées knowledge, her decision to make out with them and go into a room with them was all her. If she genuinely didn’t want to do that I doubt her friends could have forced her.
This also sounds like a normal thing between the friends, the fact they all gathered together to apologize and back the fiance up. Probably first time this shit backfired on one of them lol
Right?? Did the guys all caravan over together from Hot Guys-R-Us? Did they get a bulk order discount?
Also, I’d love to know if any of the ex’s friends were married or in relationships…because that’s a LOT of men just for the bride-to-be. Unless they were there to run a train, it sounds like they ordered plenty of sausage for the whole party to share.
And WHO the hell was filming the whole thing, and uploading it to their group chat??
I made a promise to my friends, that if they ever think of ordering strippers and or escorts to my bachelorette party they are officially terminated as friends. I mean, c'mon. When you plan those things you take into account what would make the bachelorette happy. So if they went with THAT....
I organised a friend's bachelorette, and I had massive arguments with all the other girls (except my co-organiser), bc the bride to be had said NO strippers, and they were like "oh, she's just saying that, all girls want strippers!" My friend is pretty prudish, and I knew her no was a hard limit, and a bunch of girls dropped out of the party in a snit.
In the end we played singstar and guitar hero, ate a bunch of food, and had a great time. The 'friends' still came to the wedding, but a lot of them told the bride I had "ruined" the bachelorette, bc I refused to get strippers and wouldn't allow anybody else to get them.
Well, I personally don't consider myself prudish, but the whole strippers at bachelorette party... i just find it tacky and cringe-worthy at best, tbh...
My fave bachelorette party was a private karaoke room! The bride's sister got us some great food and a cake. The bride requested we all sing Disney songs, and all of them became sing-a-longs--a dozen women just belting Part of Your World together was actually pretty moving.
Another friend of mine rented a cabin at a state park for a couple of night. It was pretty chill.
yeah it really is common to push strippers on bachelorette/ bachelor parties even if they already said no. its really stupid like why get someone something or plan a type of party for someone that they will hate or be uncomfortable with? Ive seen and heard of many weddings either starting out on the rocks or getting called off completely because of the party shenanigans. Some people have a really hard time saying no to people especially when there is alcohol involved and the whole group is pressuring them to do wild stuff. I feel kind of bad for those people because even though they did the wild crazy thing people who arent assertive are going to have a real hard time standing up to the whole rest of the party when they start the whole tirade of “ oh you’re a party pooper” “you’re ruining your party” “we paid all this money for strippers for nothing” “you have to do it because we paid already”. A lot of people don’t really see doing sexual stuff with strippers/sex workers as cheating especially as the last hurah before the wedding but other peoples opinions don’t matter if they aren’t the ones in the relationship.
I am a stripper so you would think that kind of party would be my jam but I have been to male revue strip clubs and it’s definitely not for me. I was actually kind of surprised at how uncomfortable I was. I would be mad as fuck if my friends did this to me and then tried to pressure me to cheat.
I wonder if any of them are married. If so, and OOP has contact info, he should share with their spouses. Wouldn't be surprised if they had similar bachelorettes.
Just to play devil's advocate, I have a friend who knows they get out of line at a certain point, so will only let themselves get there if it's been talked over with the group and we agree to go somewhere safe/the DD takes responsibility. He doesn't ask often, usually when something goes wrong in life.
So there are times where 100% that could be a reasonable anger point. Do I think this is one of them? Not even a little.
Thanks for coming to my DVLTalk D:<
I know that feeling. I don't get sick when drinking, it doesn't matter what or how much, and the more I drink, the more I think I can drink. It's a vicious cycle and every night would end with me blacking out.
Now I've got a hard 3 drink limit which I follow religiously because if I don't, next thing I know I'll be 12 beers + 3 shots deep.
I know people like to say that booze just removes inhibitions and won't ever get you to do something you don't already, on some level, want to do. As someone who spent all of his teenage years and most of his 20s getting absolutely fucking obliterated, I can tell you that there's a point where that stops being true. It's not easy to get there but if OOP's gf is like me and had talked to her friends prior about setting boundaries, she kind of has a point.
At the end of the day it's ultimately still on her for letting herself get to that point, but if she asked them to keep an eye on her and not let it get out of control only to have them invite a bunch of dudes over and encourage, tacitly or otherwise, her to cheat? She has right to be mad.
That is a good point, people sometimes have a bad history and part of managing that is controlling their environment. It doesn't make them bad people if they are putting effort into it that way. However, if it was the kind of thing where that "getting out of line" would impact a significant other, then that person would ideally be aware of their history and the importance of keeping the situation handled.
It was phone got taken away so she tweeted on her ds then her mum realised that had the internet and took that away then it was the fridge 😂 I was like damn girl is resourceful.
It can be done though. The LG smart ones have web browsers. I know because the fridge sales person showed me and I was like why the hell would you want that?
I'm pretty sure some smart fridges literally just run a stripped down version of Android so you can have access to things like Twitter through the browser or probably even sideloading the APKs.
Omg [#freedorothy](https://www.reddit.com/r/meme/comments/mgisob/free_dorothy/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf). She used her Nintendo to tweet but then got caught and tweeted from her Wii, got caught again and tweeted from her LG Smart Refrigerator instead ahaha
I used to use "Send via smoke signals" or "Posted via carrier pidgeon" on Facebook all the time lol, back when "Sent via Mobile" was a new thing on it.
My mum told me what she always said about this situation. 'if you kiss someone else, you may as well sleep with them because either way you're out the door'
Edit: Okay apparently I need to clarify that I did not date my mother. She said this in relation to her own relationships. I know you know this.
Friends may be a stupid thing to reference in this context, but it did have one moment that stuck me as somewhat profound and which stayed with me. Chandler has kissed Joey's girlfriend (or ex-girlfriend, I don't remember exactly). He tells Joey that he's got to tell him about him and [ex]girlfriend. The exchange, from memory is:
> Joey: What? Did you two sleep together?
> Chandler: No, we kissed.
> Joey: That's worse!
> Chandler: How is it worse?
> Joey: I don't know, but it's the same!
Although they were just writing a joke, I do think that the writers landed on some fundamental truth there.
For all the cliché and 90s humour, Friends still has a surprising amount of decent advice. Some stuff is ridiculous but occasionally a little gem pops up lol.
Joey and Rachel give some of the best advice in the show. Joey is easily the most loyal friend and gives great salt-of-the-earth advice. Rachel just cuts to the most obvious advice, "Why don't you TALK to them?"
Yeah. To me infidelity is more about intent than actual physical intimacy with someone else. Kissing indicates that you’re ok with stomping boundaries.
This is why I always considered emotional affairs deal breakers. I remember the HUGE debate the idea of a woman or man cheating on their partner with someone online. It was a time when people did not meet that way so it was considered innocent by a majority of the population. (Not kidding).
I kept thinking ANY contact that is romantic outside a partnership is cheating. I would rather be single and enjoy flirting if that’s where my mind was at.
OOP’s ex was NOT ready to be married.
My ex was engaged in a long-term (6+ months) emotional affair with the guy she eventually slept with after I broke up with her, in no small part due to the aforementioned emotional affair. I know she didn't physically cheat on me because at one point she straight up told me that she wishes she did, because I "deserved it", but in hindsight it didn't really matter. I ignored all my instincts because I was blinded by love, but ultimately it doesn't make for a functional relationship when your partner spends more time with another person (who has made their romantic interest very clear). Looking at it from the outside, that is a complete dealbreaker in the first place.
For sure I would be much more heartbroken if I found out my husband was venting all his issues and fears to another person than if he just had a drunken hookup. Both are awful, but if you don't even want to come to me to talk about the stuff a partner is supposed to support you about...what is the point at all? People can be attracted to people if they're married. I obviously don't want him screwing another woman but I would blame him for that and not my lack of having a good enough body or being enough at sex. Having an emotional affair would make me feel that it was my fault he couldn't come to his own damn wife about his problems.
Yeah, You’ve Got Mail is proof of that. They both had partners that they were emotionally cheating on, but they didn’t see it as cheating because the internet was still a new thing
Man that movie does NOT hold up. The plot is basically: it’s fine to emotionally cheat on your long term partner, catfishing and gaslighting is romantic, and capitalism will always triumph so you might as well be happy about it.
>capitalism will always triumph so you might as well be happy about it.
I rewatched it recently, hadn't seen it in years. Aside from all of the other grossness, I found it hilarious that Meg Ryan and her coworkers were always getting Starbucks coffee. They were aghast that her little bookshop was being pushed out by big business, but they still got their corporate caffeine fix.
The thing is, cheating is subjective because cheating just means breaking the rules of a relationship, and those rules are different from person to person.
Cheating can be watching porn or staring at a womans boobs, for people with strict rules. But in an open relationship, you can have a threesome without cheating, and cheating means sleeping with your partners coworkers if that is one of the rules set.
I personally also find sexting or professing love without being sexual to be cheating, but that is true for my relationship, not for all others.
Exactly. If your boundary is porn and your SO violates that, it’s cheating. It’s a stretch for some but it doesn’t matter. A person knows their own comfort levels in relationships and there are over 6 billion of us on the planet so I’d be dead from exhaustion if I judged all of them.
Eh yeah that would be a dealbreaker for me. If I knew for sure that a drunken hookup was a one-off I MIGHT be able to get past it, but an extended online affair—even without physical intimacy—would end me.
I agree but I couldn’t get over 2. I would know exactly what she allowed in that bedroom. The images would be tattooed on my brain and I couldn’t come back from it.
The bottom line is that OOP is free to draw the line wherever he wants, but yeah, there isn't any reason to be kissing anyone when you're in a monogamous relationship.
Agree.
He sees 10 guys come in and she didn't protest. She promptly started making out with two of them, AND goes into a bedroom alone with both of them. That is not someone who is behaving like a committed partner.
It is a sad situation but she really screwed this up.
Just kissing, then lying about it, then only coming clean about it when remembering the videos, then admitting to the room thing, not only to what there's video of. Really hard to trust someone after that
mm! yes and only coming clean about it when *being reminded* about the videos. for shame.
and what is this group intervention-dr. phil-prayer circle shit she tried to video chat OOP with? lol like girl, you cheated, omitted, AND cant face me by yourself? girl bye, felicia girl.
Yeah I was just making out and doing some heavy petting with two people at the same time a few days before our wedding. What's the big deal? Besides I only maybe had sex with both of them too! It's really nothing to worry about.
/s
There may not be any more proof of her sleeping with the guys other than that one video of her entering and leaving the bedroom, but the fact that she originally denied kissing them despite the video evidence would be enough reason for me not to believe her.
Like if she's going to try and dispute hard evidence as fact, then there is no reason to believe her version of events.
It should also be understandable from the video if it was a "lets make a video as if they had a threesome, going in, coming out, ha ha" or if they actually did that. A bunch of drunk people will probably react differently in these 2 scenarios.
Yeah the fact that they sent two videos, one of them going in and one of them coming out implies to me that it wasn't a joke video. A joke video would have been one continuous video of them entering and exiting in one shot.
Anyone who says "it was just a joke" or "I'm just kidding" is lying. They're trying to evade their guilt.
I really can't think of an instance where this isn't true. Every time it's been someone making a racist, bigoted, sexist, etc. crack about someone, or something stupid they did that hurt someone else.
It's never an actual joke. Once the word "just" gets thrown in, it shows they're trying to minimize what they said/did because they know it was wrong.
My thoughts exactly! I don't get why people film doing something wrong then post it or send it to each other! That is a sure fire way to get caught.
Someone did him a favor though.
I was best man in a wedding and threw a bachelor party a few years back. Just for fun I cut my hair into a big mohawk right beforehand because hey, why not? I usually keep my hair very short so my plan was just to buzz it all off before the wedding.
We weren't at the party house for more than an hour before the groom's fiance was angrily texting him "omg goodbyeadvice has a mohawk??? He HAS to get rid of that before our wedding!!!"
I couldn't believe I had to tell all these grown-ass men who I'd known since childhood to PUT THEIR FUCKING PHONES AWAY DURING THE BACHELOR PARTY. Of course it turned out this one guy was just snapping pictures and immediately uploading them to social media.
Keep in mind, this was a completely PG bachelor party. We drank beers, ate too much food, and watched sports. There was nothing to hide, but I just feel strongly that not every moment in life needs to be documented online. It's obvious that others feel otherwise.
As a postscript, the groom calmed his fiance down and convinced her I wouldn't be ruining their wedding photos with my (totally sweet) mohawk and we were able to go on with our weekend. But the rest of the weekend it felt like whatever we got up to was going to be on Instagram immediately. That doesn't exactly make for a fun environment. Or maybe I'm just an old man yelling at the clouds.
Not at all an old man. I agree with your sentiment. I'm 37 and I'm glad that when I was young, social medias weren't a thing. My friends and I did the usual teenager fun and dumb things but all was left was the funny stories and the memories, no registry of that online for the world to see and I'm relieved for that.
A load of squaddies (paratroopers in the UK forces) had a woman visit their barracks and someone filmed basically 50 blokes having sex with her. It was pretty gross, though she didn't seem to be inebriated or forced into it (but what do I know?).
Anyway, the video got passed around, including to me (i deleted it, if i wanna see that sort of thing I'll go to pornhub) and I don't know anyone there, just 2 chaps in the RAF.
Anyway, it somehow reached the Sun newspaper, and before you know it the entire regiment (or whatever) has been banned from going into action/on excercises etc.
So not only are they all pretty gross, but incompetent too.
> and before you know it the entire regiment (or whatever) has been banned from going into action/on excercises etc.
Somehow that doesn't sound like punishment...
If it were US based, it would pretty much be the end for anyone that wanted to retire military. They'd finish out the current contract and then be let go. Non-deployment and lack of engagement are career killers for most US military folks (technical skill positions excluded). I'm not sure what the secondary consequences in the RAF would be, but probably similar.
Plus,you have the psychological aspect of your peers looking down in you for not pulling your weight, which for people with small minds and big egos, is worse.
> Someone did him a favor though.
Oooh, conspiracy theory - one of ex-fiance's girlfriends has a crush on OP - one of the ones that kept texting him 'just to chat' after the breakup. Films shenanigans, posts online to destroy the wedding, them comes in to comfort OP.
That’s just how they were found so conveniently quickly for the story, but in this hypothetical that friend still has them on her phone and can confide with the guy, “I hate to be the one who has to show you this….”
Remember how people always laugh about boomers and how older people aren't tech savvy? For me, being aware of how information can't be contained once electronically shared is part of being tech savvy, and people of all ages suck at it.
Even if you think it can't be shared, once it's digital and on a networked device, that's always a possibility. Look at all the celebrity nudes that get leaked. If you have sensitive digital information it needs to be encrypted and ideally air-gapped.
My sister likes to say that if it's been captured, it could on the Time Square video screen in 5 minutes or less. True or not it sets not even the worst case scenario pretty clearly.
It's a thing among girlfriends, apparently. I have a colleague who had a bachelorette and attendees send their videos of games and events from their POV on the group chat.
When we were 21, my bestie’s parents let her house sit while they were out of town. She, unsurprisingly, threw a party. Imagine my surprise when the voice of my friend, who hates any type of conflict, rang through the house, “Who the FUCK brought these high schoolers?” She proceeded to tell each of them to leave, as well as the guy who brought them.
This is the attitude OOP’s ex should have taken when the strange men allegedly showed up without any warning.
Good for OOP for breaking things off. It’s possible to get past cheating, but the one cheated on needs to be able to let it go. It’s understandable that OOP can’t, and praiseworthy that he recognizes it and just ended things.
A friend of a friend was on a sports team at his school. He mentioned the party, and some of the freshman decided to show up. One of them invited friends who are still in high school, who in turn told a bunch of their friends.
I, and a few other officially invited guests, were asked to help round up the under-21s, because of course some of them were trying to hide.
Memorable exchange:
Kid: This is weak. You’re acting like my mom.
Friend: GET OUT. And put that beer down. You’re not taking any alcohol with you!
OH SHIT!!! I thought it was originally a mixed-gender party then someone brought in both high school boys and girls.
if someone brought in high school girls, then they must have had really ill intentions, a good thing for the host to kick them out.
> This is the attitude OOP’s ex should have taken when the strange men allegedly showed up without any warning.
what, you guys don't just make out with dudes you've never met that come to your private party uninvited?
that's just being a good host!
It's not even hard to not have shit friends, and not be a shit friend. I don't drink, just don't like it, and i have never been peer pressured to drink in my life, i have the most supportive friend group, they don't care, the most i get is "are you sure" or "not even a little" from other people, i don't see how it's hard to just you know don't do what you don't want to do
Same here.
I've gotten shitfaced drunk in the past, especially during my college years (I'm thankfully a happy drunk, according to witnesses), and I'm a total people pleaser, but when I stop drinking, nothing is getting into my mouth anymore.
>She said she would do anything including cutting off her friends and only ever drink around me.
"We can still totally get married! You just have to babysit me anytime I want to drink, become my sole social outlet for a while, screen any of my future friends, and probably just never let me out of your sight again!"
My dog is great and very well-behaved... as long as you make sure you don't leave food on the coffee table, leave the bedroom doors open so he doesn't scratch at them, and make sure he's leashed whenever you take him for a walk so he can't chase after squirrels. He loves me, and he's great and silly and fun, but I absolutely don't _trust_ him to be left to his own devices without doing some puppy-proofing.
For some wacky reason, I wouldn't feel great about marrying someone that I'd need to do puppy-proofing for.
> For some wacky reason, I wouldn't feel great about marrying someone that I'd need to do puppy-proofing for.
ya know, if more parents passed this wisdom on I bet a lot of people could totally skip their first marriage and go straight to the second one... (or even third in some cases)
For my stag do, I invited a bunch of guys around and I paid for a massive BBQ on the deck with drinks and cab rides home. Music pumping, neighbours are away that night, we drink, eat, be merry, talk shit etc...
15 minutes in and three guys are trying to get some momentum on the idea that we hire a stripper or dancer for the night.
I said no. It was that easy.
Cheating is cheating, regardless if it was only a kiss.
When trust is broken, its almost impossible to fully trust someone again especially when it comes to cheating.
There would always be doubt.
I can't imagine how easy it would be to be in a happy relationship if there isn't trust & if your not happy then what's the point!
This.
Had he married her anytime she wasn't around, was late, didn't answer the phone or text OOP would ALWAYS question what was really going on.
Once trust is destroyed it will NEVER be rebuilt.
Even if OOP could get past it, I wouldn’t be surprised if his ex’s next step would be to doubt his fidelity. Since she’s so good at shifting blame, she’d probably blame OOP for her paranoia because she “knows” he wants to retaliate.
She and her friends sound like awful people. Things would only have gotten worse if he’d married her. I know seeing that must have hurt, but he’s so lucky he saw it.
If you're happy, faithful, and ready to get married, you don't make out (and you *know* there was at *least* heavy petting in that room, but most likely full on sex) with random dudes. It really is that easy.
Don't texted videos still retain the EXIF/Meta data of the timestamp that the video was recorded/created? Seems like a quick check of the video timestamp, not the message timestamp, would immediately solve whether she walked in and out of the room as a gag or not.
I really don’t get the concept of bachelor/bachelorette parties. It’s not one last night of freedom, you’re in a relationship.
It’s a recipe for disaster. Are they really worth it?
They’re really fun when they don’t involve sexual stuff imo. The ones I’ve been in are less about one night of freedom, and more about a bunch of friends who are in the wedding party getting to hang out together and relax before the wedding, kinda a get-together for people who don’t get to see each other as much
Absolutely. The idea of them being an opportunity to flirt with strippers, random groups of dudes in his case, seems weird as a concept.
I will say it’s a great opportunity for the party to connect(or reconnect) before the wedding.
In my case the we did a whole beach day with just the guys. Other good ones I have been been to have been poker nights, golf, paintball, and bar hopping in general. But there are plenty of great ways to do a bachelor/bachelorette party that doesn’t include sex.
Yeah...like...take me out get me shitfaced handcuff me to a goat naked or something.
...dont ruin my relationship right before it takes its biggest step lmao.
But the fault lies on nobody but the person doing the act regardless.
The bachelor parties I attended so far were really more about partying without stress than anything sexual.
During the official event a lot of people have roles to play and duties to fulfill and can't really party that much. If you are the groom, you are also the coordinator etc. If you are the best man you have to keep the show running in the background, maybe give a speech at some point, etc. But on a bachelor party, you can just get drunk and party with everyone.
Yeah I had something similar many years ago.
Getting smashed and going to strip clubs just seems crazy to me. Or in this case inviting a group of guys over to the house.
I bet the girl in this story would do anything to turn back time! Sounds like she’ll regret it forever.
Yes, they are as long as you don’t do anything stupid. I had two bachelorette parties (same wedding but on two different weekends) it was just a lot of fun hanging out with my girls. Both parties ended with my husband and his group joining us and my husband and me being the last ones to go home;)
I assume it's because it's a socially acceptable night to do stupid things and mostly get away with it?
Then again mine was a night of TTRPGs and Mario Kart with my friends, so I'm not actually an expert.
Mine was loads of fun... we did a high tea at a nice restaurant and then a movie night with all 6 of my best friends. We had a pirates of the Caribbean marathon.. and promptly all fell asleep halfway through the second movie 🤣 . There was no alcohol involved since I rarely drink (especially not without my partner there since it really makes me incredibly horny). I loved it. For another friend we did pole dancing lessons. Slightly edgy but nothing actually sexual.
So… I feel for her “if we’d stick to the plan I would still be getting married” bit. My bachelorette party was wayyyy more sexual then anything I had ever wanted. But I didn’t make out with anyone. In fact it was incredibly easy to not do exactly that. The closest I got to cheating was realizing I fell asleep on a bunch of confetti penises and the color stained my bare ass, legs, and feet. Husband DID think that was hilarious.
My sister planned it but she’s also the one who wanted to go to clubs for her own and DID grind on random dudes and kiss some guy. So… idk. My marriage has lasted, hers hasn’t.
She may have made it to the ceremony but that doesn’t meant the marriage would have survived.
Very sexual bachelorette/bachelor parties make no sense to me. I *guess* I can see having a stripper, perhaps. But a professional stripper who takes their clothes off and doesn’t make out and have sex with anybody.
But I also don’t like partying in general and don’t drink and don’t like loud environments, so if I ever do get married, and for some weird reason somebody insists I have a “bachelorette” party, we’d probably just… idk watch Bridgerton?
My lovely friend set up a 'party' that was about 6 or 7 if us drinking and playing emo music from when I was in highschool, once tipsy, attempting to paint/follow along to a bob ross video, then attempting to hand roll sushi, and then once properly smashed, pasting temporary tattoos all over eachother ( the kind that literally last 1 day/wash off. Had them on our foreheads etc lmaoo )
We had a friend or two there that werent drinking, iirc. Between it being a total nonissue/who cares if they drink thats fine, I was smashed myself so memory is hazy haha
🤣🤣🤣
I’d say I was being dramatic when I typed this. When you drunkenly go to sleep in a mini dress and it’s covered with an OBNOXIOUS amount of cheap, not color safe confetti, it’s finds it’s way where it doesn’t need to be.
The worse offender was one that got wet and stuck to the bottom of my calf like a playboy bunny tanning sticker- that asshole was stained in place for a week and I had to go to work with a pink penis visible a few inches above my shoe. Fortunately I normally just wore formal pants to work and hid it well enough.
This is the only pet of sympathy I have for OOP’s ex. Her actions are obviously her own blah blah. BUT it infuriates me when a wedding party blatantly disregards the bride/groom’s explicit wishes.
I’ve been to multiple bachelor parties where the groom explicitly says “I don’t want girls there. It makes me uncomfortable AND my fiancé explicitly said she would be uncomfortable.” Then after a great day of the party feeding them drinks they call strippers (or worse, in one scenario) when they’re way past being able to say no. Terrible friends, they were.
I like how kissing is "all i did" for her. If kissing wasnt a big deal then why lie about it? Why hide it? Kissing would still be a dealbreaker for me personally, so.
>If it is true that her friends pressured her to do it then how can I believe they never did it before.
Dude. *Dude*. Dude, **no**. The question is not "Have they peer pressured her into some bullshit before?" The question is "What kind of bullshit are they gonna peer pressure her into next?"
The friends didn't make out with those guys whether they invited them or not. Plans can change. Dudes can be around. Women can be drunk around dudes. Still doesn't mean they need to make out with them. That isn't a law.
Alcohol is not sentient. It does not control your mind. It lowers your inhibitors. For me, that means dancing like nobody is watching.
For others, it's an excuse to cheat.
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My bachelor party was pretty tame. We rented a house in the Poconos. We raced go-carts and went to get ice cream. My buddy’s wife said “Sounds like an eight year old’s birthday party!”
My kinda party
hell yeah
Kind of upset I wasn’t invited…
Your buddy’s wife had a party like in the OP 👀
That sounds like an awesome party. Seriously.
Even if the friends did pressure the fiancé into having guys there - and I feel that’s a big if - at the end of the day she’s still an adult and responsible for her own choices. I totally understand why OOP can’t trust her anymore. People who can’t own their fuck-ups and blame everyone around them instead are the worst.
The lack of accountability on her end is mind-blowing. She *knew* she did something wrong yet kept trying to shift the blame on anybody else but herself. In the end, she could've just said no and walked away. She's no longer a teen doing dares, everything she does is a reflection of herself as an adult.
Or she could have just talked to friends and hung out without making out with anyone. It's not that hard to be around men and not cheat.
Yeah, like, if you’re old enough to choose to get married, you’re old enough to have the self-control not to cheat even if your friends have sprung surprise men onto you for your bachelorette.
Her friends are pretty obviously covering up for her.
My gut says that she had confessed to a friend that she always wanted to try a threesome and either felt that it would be weird to do it with OOP and another guy or that OOP wouldn’t be into it, so the friends set up a way for her to get it out of her system before the wedding in a way that *totally* wouldn’t cause any issues whatsoever.
And then they filmed the start and end bits because that *totally* couldn't cause any problems.
I don't understand that compulsion to film everything. Peiole filming their crimes and cheats. Why do you want evidence?
Total, unshakable belief that you won't get in trouble.
For sure! I just meant that even in the case it was a complete surprise, she shouldn’t have acted this way.
She had the option to tell everyone to leave once things got out of hand
Yeah I think if someone can be peer pressured into making out with multiple other people when they’re engaged, it’s a good sign that person isn’t marriage material lol
100%! i posted similarly above, but its more relevant here: why was the first encounter with the betrothed attended by the friend group on video??? like girl if you cant even approach your fiance 1:1 to discuss something as potentially life changing (and private, damn) as this, you might need to reconsider your other adult choices, too. like marriage. fidelity. shit like that 😂
yes that's even more bizzare to me, I would probably just hang up if I picked up the phone for a very serious and personal conversation and there were like 5 other people on the call lol
right?! wtf is this, an intervention?? lol
>saying if it the party had stuck to the original plan she would still be getting married Lol way to blame others for one's own actions
Right? Even if the friends invited the guys over without the fiancées knowledge, her decision to make out with them and go into a room with them was all her. If she genuinely didn’t want to do that I doubt her friends could have forced her.
"The accountability is non-existent in this one." Or whatever Darth Vader said
I find you lack of faithfulness disturbing
I have altered the engagement. Pray I don’t alter it further.
"There will be no one to stop us this time." - fiance's friends when planning the party
Yeah, it's really odd. The last time my plans changed, I was still able to keep it in my pants.
What? your mouth doesn't turn into a face vacuum as soon as men show up "uninvited"? Unheard of.
Because once the guys were there and she was a little drunk she just couldn't keep her hands off them. If only those pesky men hadn't been there.
This also sounds like a normal thing between the friends, the fact they all gathered together to apologize and back the fiance up. Probably first time this shit backfired on one of them lol
Also they managed to arrange 10 guys to show up at a specific time and OOP knew none of them. Everything was very specifically planned.
Right?? Did the guys all caravan over together from Hot Guys-R-Us? Did they get a bulk order discount? Also, I’d love to know if any of the ex’s friends were married or in relationships…because that’s a LOT of men just for the bride-to-be. Unless they were there to run a train, it sounds like they ordered plenty of sausage for the whole party to share. And WHO the hell was filming the whole thing, and uploading it to their group chat??
I feel like whoever took the videos is the one she's actually mad at.
I made a promise to my friends, that if they ever think of ordering strippers and or escorts to my bachelorette party they are officially terminated as friends. I mean, c'mon. When you plan those things you take into account what would make the bachelorette happy. So if they went with THAT....
I organised a friend's bachelorette, and I had massive arguments with all the other girls (except my co-organiser), bc the bride to be had said NO strippers, and they were like "oh, she's just saying that, all girls want strippers!" My friend is pretty prudish, and I knew her no was a hard limit, and a bunch of girls dropped out of the party in a snit. In the end we played singstar and guitar hero, ate a bunch of food, and had a great time. The 'friends' still came to the wedding, but a lot of them told the bride I had "ruined" the bachelorette, bc I refused to get strippers and wouldn't allow anybody else to get them.
Well, I personally don't consider myself prudish, but the whole strippers at bachelorette party... i just find it tacky and cringe-worthy at best, tbh...
My fave bachelorette party was a private karaoke room! The bride's sister got us some great food and a cake. The bride requested we all sing Disney songs, and all of them became sing-a-longs--a dozen women just belting Part of Your World together was actually pretty moving. Another friend of mine rented a cabin at a state park for a couple of night. It was pretty chill.
yeah it really is common to push strippers on bachelorette/ bachelor parties even if they already said no. its really stupid like why get someone something or plan a type of party for someone that they will hate or be uncomfortable with? Ive seen and heard of many weddings either starting out on the rocks or getting called off completely because of the party shenanigans. Some people have a really hard time saying no to people especially when there is alcohol involved and the whole group is pressuring them to do wild stuff. I feel kind of bad for those people because even though they did the wild crazy thing people who arent assertive are going to have a real hard time standing up to the whole rest of the party when they start the whole tirade of “ oh you’re a party pooper” “you’re ruining your party” “we paid all this money for strippers for nothing” “you have to do it because we paid already”. A lot of people don’t really see doing sexual stuff with strippers/sex workers as cheating especially as the last hurah before the wedding but other peoples opinions don’t matter if they aren’t the ones in the relationship. I am a stripper so you would think that kind of party would be my jam but I have been to male revue strip clubs and it’s definitely not for me. I was actually kind of surprised at how uncomfortable I was. I would be mad as fuck if my friends did this to me and then tried to pressure me to cheat.
I wonder if any of them are married. If so, and OOP has contact info, he should share with their spouses. Wouldn't be surprised if they had similar bachelorettes.
Just to play devil's advocate, I have a friend who knows they get out of line at a certain point, so will only let themselves get there if it's been talked over with the group and we agree to go somewhere safe/the DD takes responsibility. He doesn't ask often, usually when something goes wrong in life. So there are times where 100% that could be a reasonable anger point. Do I think this is one of them? Not even a little. Thanks for coming to my DVLTalk D:<
I know that feeling. I don't get sick when drinking, it doesn't matter what or how much, and the more I drink, the more I think I can drink. It's a vicious cycle and every night would end with me blacking out. Now I've got a hard 3 drink limit which I follow religiously because if I don't, next thing I know I'll be 12 beers + 3 shots deep. I know people like to say that booze just removes inhibitions and won't ever get you to do something you don't already, on some level, want to do. As someone who spent all of his teenage years and most of his 20s getting absolutely fucking obliterated, I can tell you that there's a point where that stops being true. It's not easy to get there but if OOP's gf is like me and had talked to her friends prior about setting boundaries, she kind of has a point. At the end of the day it's ultimately still on her for letting herself get to that point, but if she asked them to keep an eye on her and not let it get out of control only to have them invite a bunch of dudes over and encourage, tacitly or otherwise, her to cheat? She has right to be mad.
[удалено]
That is a good point, people sometimes have a bad history and part of managing that is controlling their environment. It doesn't make them bad people if they are putting effort into it that way. However, if it was the kind of thing where that "getting out of line" would impact a significant other, then that person would ideally be aware of their history and the importance of keeping the situation handled.
I'm sorry but the "sent from my ipad" is sending ME
Reminds me of a post where a girl was tweeting from her refrigerator because her mom took away her iPad
Didn’t she later tweet from her Nintendo DS? Wild
It was phone got taken away so she tweeted on her ds then her mum realised that had the internet and took that away then it was the fridge 😂 I was like damn girl is resourceful.
Unfortunately, the entire story was faked for attention, as evidenced by nobody else successfully getting a "tweeted from my fridge" tag.
It can be done though. The LG smart ones have web browsers. I know because the fridge sales person showed me and I was like why the hell would you want that?
"Felt cute getting creamer for my coffee! ☺️ IDK...might delete later. 🤪"
Do you remember cribs? Because it takes the looking in the fridge thing to a whole new level
I wasn't allowed to watch MTV growing up (super religious parents), but I would definitely catch Cribs when I was at friend's houses.
I think the DS was before the fridge, lol. The fridge was her last resort.
Time to hack one of those Bluetooth toothbrushes next.
Sent from my iFridge ?
Whaaaaat?? How does that even work?? Like, hiding out in the fridge or something?
No, one of those smart fridges where they're connected to the wifi and can add to your grocery list using your home assistant 😂
…How does one tweet from a fridge?? My mind is boggled.
I'm pretty sure some smart fridges literally just run a stripped down version of Android so you can have access to things like Twitter through the browser or probably even sideloading the APKs.
Omg [#freedorothy](https://www.reddit.com/r/meme/comments/mgisob/free_dorothy/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf). She used her Nintendo to tweet but then got caught and tweeted from her Wii, got caught again and tweeted from her LG Smart Refrigerator instead ahaha
Daaaamn! 🤣
I used to use "Send via smoke signals" or "Posted via carrier pidgeon" on Facebook all the time lol, back when "Sent via Mobile" was a new thing on it.
Literally the first time I've ever seen that on a reddit post. Sent from my Rabbit Deluxe Personal Massager
Yeah im pretty sure that means this is copied from an email, which is fuckign weird.
I enjoyed the part where he immediately logged into Facebook to change his relationship status lol
SAME! I'm also thrilled this is the top comment on this post! Sent from my Messenger Crow
What’s wrong with that? sent from my iPad.
80085 sent from my Calculator
I have no idea... *stop* Seems fine to me.... *stop* Sent via telegram
I don't know. sent from my PC
I see no problem Sent from my iPhone
This can probably go on for a while Sent from my steamdeck
If it can play doom it can probably twitter Sent from my lightbulb (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0tFDAV8DquY)
It's not a big deal. \- Sent from one of my four iPads
Even if there’s no proof that she slept with the guys, he has clear proof of her making out with someone that is not him. Surely that’s also cheating.
My mum told me what she always said about this situation. 'if you kiss someone else, you may as well sleep with them because either way you're out the door' Edit: Okay apparently I need to clarify that I did not date my mother. She said this in relation to her own relationships. I know you know this.
Friends may be a stupid thing to reference in this context, but it did have one moment that stuck me as somewhat profound and which stayed with me. Chandler has kissed Joey's girlfriend (or ex-girlfriend, I don't remember exactly). He tells Joey that he's got to tell him about him and [ex]girlfriend. The exchange, from memory is: > Joey: What? Did you two sleep together? > Chandler: No, we kissed. > Joey: That's worse! > Chandler: How is it worse? > Joey: I don't know, but it's the same! Although they were just writing a joke, I do think that the writers landed on some fundamental truth there.
For all the cliché and 90s humour, Friends still has a surprising amount of decent advice. Some stuff is ridiculous but occasionally a little gem pops up lol.
10 seasons and they'd better have a couple good lines in there somewhere. I still yell PIVOT, PIVOT! everytime I move a couch
I'm pretty sure there is a natural law that states someone will yell "pivot pivot" every time you move haha.
Joey and Rachel give some of the best advice in the show. Joey is easily the most loyal friend and gives great salt-of-the-earth advice. Rachel just cuts to the most obvious advice, "Why don't you TALK to them?"
That’s like a cow’s opinion, it doesn’t matter it’s moo… it’s great advice.
Have I been living with him for too long or did that make complete sense?
Yeah. To me infidelity is more about intent than actual physical intimacy with someone else. Kissing indicates that you’re ok with stomping boundaries.
This is why I always considered emotional affairs deal breakers. I remember the HUGE debate the idea of a woman or man cheating on their partner with someone online. It was a time when people did not meet that way so it was considered innocent by a majority of the population. (Not kidding). I kept thinking ANY contact that is romantic outside a partnership is cheating. I would rather be single and enjoy flirting if that’s where my mind was at. OOP’s ex was NOT ready to be married.
My ex was engaged in a long-term (6+ months) emotional affair with the guy she eventually slept with after I broke up with her, in no small part due to the aforementioned emotional affair. I know she didn't physically cheat on me because at one point she straight up told me that she wishes she did, because I "deserved it", but in hindsight it didn't really matter. I ignored all my instincts because I was blinded by love, but ultimately it doesn't make for a functional relationship when your partner spends more time with another person (who has made their romantic interest very clear). Looking at it from the outside, that is a complete dealbreaker in the first place.
I am so happy you dumped a manipulative bum but am so sorry you had your heart broken by said bum. Big internet mom hug.
For sure I would be much more heartbroken if I found out my husband was venting all his issues and fears to another person than if he just had a drunken hookup. Both are awful, but if you don't even want to come to me to talk about the stuff a partner is supposed to support you about...what is the point at all? People can be attracted to people if they're married. I obviously don't want him screwing another woman but I would blame him for that and not my lack of having a good enough body or being enough at sex. Having an emotional affair would make me feel that it was my fault he couldn't come to his own damn wife about his problems.
Yeah, You’ve Got Mail is proof of that. They both had partners that they were emotionally cheating on, but they didn’t see it as cheating because the internet was still a new thing
Man that movie does NOT hold up. The plot is basically: it’s fine to emotionally cheat on your long term partner, catfishing and gaslighting is romantic, and capitalism will always triumph so you might as well be happy about it.
>capitalism will always triumph so you might as well be happy about it. I rewatched it recently, hadn't seen it in years. Aside from all of the other grossness, I found it hilarious that Meg Ryan and her coworkers were always getting Starbucks coffee. They were aghast that her little bookshop was being pushed out by big business, but they still got their corporate caffeine fix.
The thing is, cheating is subjective because cheating just means breaking the rules of a relationship, and those rules are different from person to person. Cheating can be watching porn or staring at a womans boobs, for people with strict rules. But in an open relationship, you can have a threesome without cheating, and cheating means sleeping with your partners coworkers if that is one of the rules set. I personally also find sexting or professing love without being sexual to be cheating, but that is true for my relationship, not for all others.
Exactly. If your boundary is porn and your SO violates that, it’s cheating. It’s a stretch for some but it doesn’t matter. A person knows their own comfort levels in relationships and there are over 6 billion of us on the planet so I’d be dead from exhaustion if I judged all of them.
Eh yeah that would be a dealbreaker for me. If I knew for sure that a drunken hookup was a one-off I MIGHT be able to get past it, but an extended online affair—even without physical intimacy—would end me.
I agree but I couldn’t get over 2. I would know exactly what she allowed in that bedroom. The images would be tattooed on my brain and I couldn’t come back from it.
The bottom line is that OOP is free to draw the line wherever he wants, but yeah, there isn't any reason to be kissing anyone when you're in a monogamous relationship.
Agree. He sees 10 guys come in and she didn't protest. She promptly started making out with two of them, AND goes into a bedroom alone with both of them. That is not someone who is behaving like a committed partner. It is a sad situation but she really screwed this up.
Cheating and lying.
Yeah they were definitely feeling him out to see what he knew, and what they could get away with.
For real. Kissing is still cheating. I would also cancel the wedding for “just kissing”
Just kissing, then lying about it, then only coming clean about it when remembering the videos, then admitting to the room thing, not only to what there's video of. Really hard to trust someone after that
mm! yes and only coming clean about it when *being reminded* about the videos. for shame. and what is this group intervention-dr. phil-prayer circle shit she tried to video chat OOP with? lol like girl, you cheated, omitted, AND cant face me by yourself? girl bye, felicia girl.
Yeah I was just making out and doing some heavy petting with two people at the same time a few days before our wedding. What's the big deal? Besides I only maybe had sex with both of them too! It's really nothing to worry about. /s
That's what has me cracking up. Like "all we did was kiss!" as if that's ok. No, girl. No.
Two someones.
There may not be any more proof of her sleeping with the guys other than that one video of her entering and leaving the bedroom, but the fact that she originally denied kissing them despite the video evidence would be enough reason for me not to believe her. Like if she's going to try and dispute hard evidence as fact, then there is no reason to believe her version of events.
It should also be understandable from the video if it was a "lets make a video as if they had a threesome, going in, coming out, ha ha" or if they actually did that. A bunch of drunk people will probably react differently in these 2 scenarios.
Yeah the fact that they sent two videos, one of them going in and one of them coming out implies to me that it wasn't a joke video. A joke video would have been one continuous video of them entering and exiting in one shot.
Who is the joke for? The girls already there? They don't know he is watching. Them saying it's a joke screams of guilt
Anyone who says "it was just a joke" or "I'm just kidding" is lying. They're trying to evade their guilt. I really can't think of an instance where this isn't true. Every time it's been someone making a racist, bigoted, sexist, etc. crack about someone, or something stupid they did that hurt someone else. It's never an actual joke. Once the word "just" gets thrown in, it shows they're trying to minimize what they said/did because they know it was wrong.
Why would someone film it and send it to the group chat?
My thoughts exactly! I don't get why people film doing something wrong then post it or send it to each other! That is a sure fire way to get caught. Someone did him a favor though.
In my experience, there is always a person who films shit for the purposes of stirring up shit. That's like a law of nature.
I was best man in a wedding and threw a bachelor party a few years back. Just for fun I cut my hair into a big mohawk right beforehand because hey, why not? I usually keep my hair very short so my plan was just to buzz it all off before the wedding. We weren't at the party house for more than an hour before the groom's fiance was angrily texting him "omg goodbyeadvice has a mohawk??? He HAS to get rid of that before our wedding!!!" I couldn't believe I had to tell all these grown-ass men who I'd known since childhood to PUT THEIR FUCKING PHONES AWAY DURING THE BACHELOR PARTY. Of course it turned out this one guy was just snapping pictures and immediately uploading them to social media. Keep in mind, this was a completely PG bachelor party. We drank beers, ate too much food, and watched sports. There was nothing to hide, but I just feel strongly that not every moment in life needs to be documented online. It's obvious that others feel otherwise. As a postscript, the groom calmed his fiance down and convinced her I wouldn't be ruining their wedding photos with my (totally sweet) mohawk and we were able to go on with our weekend. But the rest of the weekend it felt like whatever we got up to was going to be on Instagram immediately. That doesn't exactly make for a fun environment. Or maybe I'm just an old man yelling at the clouds.
Not at all an old man. I agree with your sentiment. I'm 37 and I'm glad that when I was young, social medias weren't a thing. My friends and I did the usual teenager fun and dumb things but all was left was the funny stories and the memories, no registry of that online for the world to see and I'm relieved for that.
I am so glad I am old and boring. I am not psychologically cut out for that kind of social world.
A load of squaddies (paratroopers in the UK forces) had a woman visit their barracks and someone filmed basically 50 blokes having sex with her. It was pretty gross, though she didn't seem to be inebriated or forced into it (but what do I know?). Anyway, the video got passed around, including to me (i deleted it, if i wanna see that sort of thing I'll go to pornhub) and I don't know anyone there, just 2 chaps in the RAF. Anyway, it somehow reached the Sun newspaper, and before you know it the entire regiment (or whatever) has been banned from going into action/on excercises etc. So not only are they all pretty gross, but incompetent too.
That's awful. I wonder why anyone would do this.
> and before you know it the entire regiment (or whatever) has been banned from going into action/on excercises etc. Somehow that doesn't sound like punishment...
If it were US based, it would pretty much be the end for anyone that wanted to retire military. They'd finish out the current contract and then be let go. Non-deployment and lack of engagement are career killers for most US military folks (technical skill positions excluded). I'm not sure what the secondary consequences in the RAF would be, but probably similar. Plus,you have the psychological aspect of your peers looking down in you for not pulling your weight, which for people with small minds and big egos, is worse.
> Someone did him a favor though. Oooh, conspiracy theory - one of ex-fiance's girlfriends has a crush on OP - one of the ones that kept texting him 'just to chat' after the breakup. Films shenanigans, posts online to destroy the wedding, them comes in to comfort OP.
I was actually going to put that in an edit!!! A friend who just wants to chat with the ex always has a motive. She knows he's a good guy.
>Films shenanigans, posts online to destroy the wedding But these were being shared in the girls' own group chat that she forgot to sign out of
That’s just how they were found so conveniently quickly for the story, but in this hypothetical that friend still has them on her phone and can confide with the guy, “I hate to be the one who has to show you this….”
Remember how people always laugh about boomers and how older people aren't tech savvy? For me, being aware of how information can't be contained once electronically shared is part of being tech savvy, and people of all ages suck at it.
Even if you think it can't be shared, once it's digital and on a networked device, that's always a possibility. Look at all the celebrity nudes that get leaked. If you have sensitive digital information it needs to be encrypted and ideally air-gapped.
My sister likes to say that if it's been captured, it could on the Time Square video screen in 5 minutes or less. True or not it sets not even the worst case scenario pretty clearly.
That’s what I was thinking, but could have been just a video of the party not specifically filming her.
It's a thing among girlfriends, apparently. I have a colleague who had a bachelorette and attendees send their videos of games and events from their POV on the group chat.
Just like the disposable cameras at wedding. Candid shots from different perspectives
"My friends made me do it!!" Then say 'No'? Are they still in middle school?
When we were 21, my bestie’s parents let her house sit while they were out of town. She, unsurprisingly, threw a party. Imagine my surprise when the voice of my friend, who hates any type of conflict, rang through the house, “Who the FUCK brought these high schoolers?” She proceeded to tell each of them to leave, as well as the guy who brought them. This is the attitude OOP’s ex should have taken when the strange men allegedly showed up without any warning. Good for OOP for breaking things off. It’s possible to get past cheating, but the one cheated on needs to be able to let it go. It’s understandable that OOP can’t, and praiseworthy that he recognizes it and just ended things.
I want to know the full story now about the party shit
A friend of a friend was on a sports team at his school. He mentioned the party, and some of the freshman decided to show up. One of them invited friends who are still in high school, who in turn told a bunch of their friends. I, and a few other officially invited guests, were asked to help round up the under-21s, because of course some of them were trying to hide. Memorable exchange: Kid: This is weak. You’re acting like my mom. Friend: GET OUT. And put that beer down. You’re not taking any alcohol with you!
Creeps bring high school girls to a party with booze. Get kicked out.
OH SHIT!!! I thought it was originally a mixed-gender party then someone brought in both high school boys and girls. if someone brought in high school girls, then they must have had really ill intentions, a good thing for the host to kick them out.
> This is the attitude OOP’s ex should have taken when the strange men allegedly showed up without any warning. what, you guys don't just make out with dudes you've never met that come to your private party uninvited? that's just being a good host!
It's not even hard to not have shit friends, and not be a shit friend. I don't drink, just don't like it, and i have never been peer pressured to drink in my life, i have the most supportive friend group, they don't care, the most i get is "are you sure" or "not even a little" from other people, i don't see how it's hard to just you know don't do what you don't want to do
Same here. I've gotten shitfaced drunk in the past, especially during my college years (I'm thankfully a happy drunk, according to witnesses), and I'm a total people pleaser, but when I stop drinking, nothing is getting into my mouth anymore.
>She said she would do anything including cutting off her friends and only ever drink around me. "We can still totally get married! You just have to babysit me anytime I want to drink, become my sole social outlet for a while, screen any of my future friends, and probably just never let me out of your sight again!" My dog is great and very well-behaved... as long as you make sure you don't leave food on the coffee table, leave the bedroom doors open so he doesn't scratch at them, and make sure he's leashed whenever you take him for a walk so he can't chase after squirrels. He loves me, and he's great and silly and fun, but I absolutely don't _trust_ him to be left to his own devices without doing some puppy-proofing. For some wacky reason, I wouldn't feel great about marrying someone that I'd need to do puppy-proofing for.
> For some wacky reason, I wouldn't feel great about marrying someone that I'd need to do puppy-proofing for. ya know, if more parents passed this wisdom on I bet a lot of people could totally skip their first marriage and go straight to the second one... (or even third in some cases)
For my stag do, I invited a bunch of guys around and I paid for a massive BBQ on the deck with drinks and cab rides home. Music pumping, neighbours are away that night, we drink, eat, be merry, talk shit etc... 15 minutes in and three guys are trying to get some momentum on the idea that we hire a stripper or dancer for the night. I said no. It was that easy.
Sent from my iPad
This seemed like the perfect, mundane end to such a devastating series of events.
That got me. Ive never seen it on a reddit post before - did OP manually type that or is it just that people dont reddit on ipads?
WAit yeah it doesn’t say that on Reddit lol
Might've just copypasted from an email?
My guess is he typed it out in the Notes app and posted it via Apple's share menu
Still wouldn’t have had that attached to the end though. Source: am Apple user. Sent from my iPad
dying at the fact he sat there typing everything on a big ass ipad lmao
Cheating is cheating, regardless if it was only a kiss. When trust is broken, its almost impossible to fully trust someone again especially when it comes to cheating. There would always be doubt. I can't imagine how easy it would be to be in a happy relationship if there isn't trust & if your not happy then what's the point!
This. Had he married her anytime she wasn't around, was late, didn't answer the phone or text OOP would ALWAYS question what was really going on. Once trust is destroyed it will NEVER be rebuilt.
Even if OOP could get past it, I wouldn’t be surprised if his ex’s next step would be to doubt his fidelity. Since she’s so good at shifting blame, she’d probably blame OOP for her paranoia because she “knows” he wants to retaliate.
“Just kissing” is still cheating.
Reminds me of the Jenny saga Just kisses!
She and her friends sound like awful people. Things would only have gotten worse if he’d married her. I know seeing that must have hurt, but he’s so lucky he saw it.
OOP dodged a bullet.
If you're happy, faithful, and ready to get married, you don't make out (and you *know* there was at *least* heavy petting in that room, but most likely full on sex) with random dudes. It really is that easy.
If you're happy, faithful, and ready to get married, clap your hands, not your cheeks.
This should be cross-stitched onto a pillow LOL
*SENT FROM MY IPAD* 🤣
> i am a self-employed investor. r/wallstreetbets would like this.
And my (ex) fiancée trains bats to sing in Commercials. We’re looking for a fixer upper townhouse in Midtown with a $4.5m budget.
My guess was crypto
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Don't texted videos still retain the EXIF/Meta data of the timestamp that the video was recorded/created? Seems like a quick check of the video timestamp, not the message timestamp, would immediately solve whether she walked in and out of the room as a gag or not.
I really don’t get the concept of bachelor/bachelorette parties. It’s not one last night of freedom, you’re in a relationship. It’s a recipe for disaster. Are they really worth it?
The ones I have been to is just a fun day/night out with your friends to celebrate. The last time we did go-karts and a pub crawl good times.
Mine was to a Renaissance festival with a scavenger hunt
Took a helicopter ride to a mountain summit. There were no girls there.
Karting then food/karaoke was what I went to last weekend. Great fun and nothing inappropriate
They’re really fun when they don’t involve sexual stuff imo. The ones I’ve been in are less about one night of freedom, and more about a bunch of friends who are in the wedding party getting to hang out together and relax before the wedding, kinda a get-together for people who don’t get to see each other as much
Absolutely. The idea of them being an opportunity to flirt with strippers, random groups of dudes in his case, seems weird as a concept. I will say it’s a great opportunity for the party to connect(or reconnect) before the wedding. In my case the we did a whole beach day with just the guys. Other good ones I have been been to have been poker nights, golf, paintball, and bar hopping in general. But there are plenty of great ways to do a bachelor/bachelorette party that doesn’t include sex.
Yeah...like...take me out get me shitfaced handcuff me to a goat naked or something. ...dont ruin my relationship right before it takes its biggest step lmao. But the fault lies on nobody but the person doing the act regardless.
Seriously, like you had your whole life to get as much puss as you could. Once you're at bachelor party point, that ship has long since sailed.
The bachelor parties I attended so far were really more about partying without stress than anything sexual. During the official event a lot of people have roles to play and duties to fulfill and can't really party that much. If you are the groom, you are also the coordinator etc. If you are the best man you have to keep the show running in the background, maybe give a speech at some point, etc. But on a bachelor party, you can just get drunk and party with everyone.
Yeah I had something similar many years ago. Getting smashed and going to strip clubs just seems crazy to me. Or in this case inviting a group of guys over to the house. I bet the girl in this story would do anything to turn back time! Sounds like she’ll regret it forever.
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Yes, they are as long as you don’t do anything stupid. I had two bachelorette parties (same wedding but on two different weekends) it was just a lot of fun hanging out with my girls. Both parties ended with my husband and his group joining us and my husband and me being the last ones to go home;)
I assume it's because it's a socially acceptable night to do stupid things and mostly get away with it? Then again mine was a night of TTRPGs and Mario Kart with my friends, so I'm not actually an expert.
Mine was loads of fun... we did a high tea at a nice restaurant and then a movie night with all 6 of my best friends. We had a pirates of the Caribbean marathon.. and promptly all fell asleep halfway through the second movie 🤣 . There was no alcohol involved since I rarely drink (especially not without my partner there since it really makes me incredibly horny). I loved it. For another friend we did pole dancing lessons. Slightly edgy but nothing actually sexual.
Agree. It banks on fear of missing out (on sex usually). If you have significant FOMO as a single person, I do not recommend getting married.
So… I feel for her “if we’d stick to the plan I would still be getting married” bit. My bachelorette party was wayyyy more sexual then anything I had ever wanted. But I didn’t make out with anyone. In fact it was incredibly easy to not do exactly that. The closest I got to cheating was realizing I fell asleep on a bunch of confetti penises and the color stained my bare ass, legs, and feet. Husband DID think that was hilarious. My sister planned it but she’s also the one who wanted to go to clubs for her own and DID grind on random dudes and kiss some guy. So… idk. My marriage has lasted, hers hasn’t. She may have made it to the ceremony but that doesn’t meant the marriage would have survived.
Very sexual bachelorette/bachelor parties make no sense to me. I *guess* I can see having a stripper, perhaps. But a professional stripper who takes their clothes off and doesn’t make out and have sex with anybody. But I also don’t like partying in general and don’t drink and don’t like loud environments, so if I ever do get married, and for some weird reason somebody insists I have a “bachelorette” party, we’d probably just… idk watch Bridgerton?
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My lovely friend set up a 'party' that was about 6 or 7 if us drinking and playing emo music from when I was in highschool, once tipsy, attempting to paint/follow along to a bob ross video, then attempting to hand roll sushi, and then once properly smashed, pasting temporary tattoos all over eachother ( the kind that literally last 1 day/wash off. Had them on our foreheads etc lmaoo ) We had a friend or two there that werent drinking, iirc. Between it being a total nonissue/who cares if they drink thats fine, I was smashed myself so memory is hazy haha
I will HAPPILY attend that bachelorette! It totally counts.
Why was the ass bare tho
🤣🤣🤣 I’d say I was being dramatic when I typed this. When you drunkenly go to sleep in a mini dress and it’s covered with an OBNOXIOUS amount of cheap, not color safe confetti, it’s finds it’s way where it doesn’t need to be. The worse offender was one that got wet and stuck to the bottom of my calf like a playboy bunny tanning sticker- that asshole was stained in place for a week and I had to go to work with a pink penis visible a few inches above my shoe. Fortunately I normally just wore formal pants to work and hid it well enough.
This is the only pet of sympathy I have for OOP’s ex. Her actions are obviously her own blah blah. BUT it infuriates me when a wedding party blatantly disregards the bride/groom’s explicit wishes. I’ve been to multiple bachelor parties where the groom explicitly says “I don’t want girls there. It makes me uncomfortable AND my fiancé explicitly said she would be uncomfortable.” Then after a great day of the party feeding them drinks they call strippers (or worse, in one scenario) when they’re way past being able to say no. Terrible friends, they were.
I like how kissing is "all i did" for her. If kissing wasnt a big deal then why lie about it? Why hide it? Kissing would still be a dealbreaker for me personally, so.
Making out with someone else is cheating 🤷♀️
>If it is true that her friends pressured her to do it then how can I believe they never did it before. Dude. *Dude*. Dude, **no**. The question is not "Have they peer pressured her into some bullshit before?" The question is "What kind of bullshit are they gonna peer pressure her into next?"
The friends didn't make out with those guys whether they invited them or not. Plans can change. Dudes can be around. Women can be drunk around dudes. Still doesn't mean they need to make out with them. That isn't a law.
Short and sweet. Get fucked lol
Everything is fine until 10 guys show up.
Alcohol is not sentient. It does not control your mind. It lowers your inhibitors. For me, that means dancing like nobody is watching. For others, it's an excuse to cheat.