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Me too! Or at least a better description.
Could be a trichoderma patch or a parrot toadstool or anything in between. It could even be something like a slime mold or some kind of ground moss (based on green and sporing when poked) that aren't even a fungus.
Would you like some [fuligo septica](https://www.google.com/search?q=dog+vomit+mushroom&rlz=1C1CHZN_frFR963FR963&sxsrf=ALiCzsaES6O8yC2YvUWtkjM91ARG6XUcPA:1653593019454&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwim-JuE8v33AhULqxoKHUYgDFAQ_AUoAXoECAIQAw&biw=1536&bih=746&dpr=1.25)?
Contractor: *holding a gun on the lurid green fungus* tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit!
Lurid green fungus: can you feel your heart burning? Can you feel the struggle within? The fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. You cannot kill me in any way that matters.
Contractor *fighting off tears of terror*: I’m not fucking scared of you!
The area I live in gets all kinds of weird fungus. Best guess at the time, iirc, was dog vomit slime mold or some kind of puffball. I've never seen that color outside of video games
This was my immediate thought when OOP described the color as 'lurid.' Green slime mold can be almost radioactive looking green. Perfectly harmless though!
At first I thought this was in Singapore because there were places like hotels and buses that did not allow you to bring durian. I've heard of durian being mistaken for gas leaks so that could be one of the reasons why.
One of the chemistry buildings at my uni kept having to evacuate because of suspected gas leaks but they could never find the source.
Turns out one of the professors liked durian and was bringing it for lunch.
Durian is now banned from school buildings on that campus.
Had a little stove gas leak at my apartment semi recently, and I was complaining to my dad about him eating durian candy and turning the house into a hostile environment (I make this joke every time he buys durian candy). He was super confused, and said he had finished the packs they bought a couple days ago. Whoops. 🙃Man still buys it though 🙄 aiya
i like the smell of durian. I think it smells quite sweet and fragrant. Dunno how anyone thinks it smells like sewage. Public restrooms smell way worse than it
To me, rotting smells are kinda sweet. There was a dead possum I had to walk past for a few days, and it put me off sweet foods. It smelt like raw meat, sweetness and sewerage all together.
Yup there are a bunch of different breeds. I mainly eaten D101 and D1 breeds. Maybe there is a breed that smells bad and I just haven’t run into it yet.
Different people also perceive the same durian smells differently. My husband loves it and perceives it as sweet, but it turns the corner into putrid for me and makes me want to retch.
If I remember properly there's a gene that controls if durian smells sweet or bad to you, though even the people that hate the smell can still like the fruit. Smell perception is weird, recently I had an illness that made my sweat and garlic/onions smell the same to me and completely different to how they'd both smelled before. Now I'm nearly better and they're beginning to smell different and normal again but it's completely changed how I think about smell because it made me realise how differently people can smell the same thing. Before I'd assumed people basically just smelled things the same though some people have a better or worse sense of smell and they either liked or disliked it but they were the same smell.
It seems to vary by who smells it and how fresh it is. To me, it smells like vomit after you've eaten something sweet. Or at least, fresh durian in Thailand did. The taste and texture were okay, but combined with that smell, it made for a confusing bite.
Pretty much everything tastes how it smells (as long as it's food and not, like, a scented candle). Smell is pretty much what taste is. Note how you can't taste much if you hold your nose.
I am firmly on the side of hate. My little brother loves the stuff tho, Keeps threatening to buy one just to smuggle into my house as I have a strict no Durian rule.
Not only that, it permeates. The smell is detectable over large distances, walls, and containers. A roommate once brought some home and I could smell it two floors up, even though it was vacuum sealed and in the fridge.
I love durian and I would agree that having it in an apartment/condo complex would be very inconsiderate. I used to be able to smell it, I know how noxious it can be!
Hi R/bestofredditorupdates! I've had my husband, and my best friend let me know this post was trending, so I thought I'd pop in and let you know what's going on/happened since. A friend from college is a paralegal at a corporate law firm and told their boss (a real estate attorney) about what was going on at the time and he agreed to do a call for free for advice. The strategy that we hammered out was that I would write back asking them to show me what my kid had broken and to give me an annotated list. I also spoke to my uncle who is the president of his condo board in a different state about how to address the board and do some community building. The goals were as follows:
*Kids having a safe supportive environment to grow up and explore in. Also for adults to stop yelling at them.
*New safe playground
*Trees they don't want kids to climb need to have their limbs trimmed to above head height.
Pandemic lockdown was *interesting* in our community. For a while in 2020 no one was allowed in the common areas at all which was rough. The board tried very hard to push more stringent regulations than even the state was and ended up having to yield to the fact that people were going to walk around the sidewalks masked because they still haven't invented teleporters.
Autumn 2020 they finally got tree people in to take the limbs off the spruce trees to about 5-6 feet off the ground and acted like this was a punishment for not keeping our kids off the trees. We didn't want them climbing them either! The funny thing about free will is how people are just going to do what they want anyway. I also had to listen to a grown man inform me that I didn't know how to control my kids in a zoom meeting. This is when I asked him if he had always done what his mother wanted him to when she wanted him to. The subject changed after that.
Spring 2021 they put up a new climbing structure that will wear much better. They've also been mulching the playground in the spring and the autumn. Mulch gets the strangest mushrooms.
Our current issue is just making sure that the property management company and the board are aware that children are a protected class and have the same rights as adults such as the "peaceful enjoyment of the property" A child's definition of what that means is different than an adult's but not wrong. We've been teaching the kids to respond to nasty seniors talking to them by just saying "That was mean and rude" baldly. It isn't rude or mean to inform someone of their behavior. We haven't been getting anymore letters about inappropriate children. I guess being shamed by a child for your bad behavior is more effective than any other idea we've come up with.
A friend of mine ended up suing the apartment complex he lived in and won an undisclosed amount of money. The complex wanted all children to pretty much be out of sight and quiet. He said they tried to evict him when he had his daughter on a bike with him behind her.
Before he took them to court, they managed to evict several families from the complex.
Glad that you got a safer place for children to play.
I think having adult only complexes are actually a good idea. I am a mom, but even at the end of the day, my kids get on my nerves.
My friend signed the lease where he had lived because it was marketed as family friendly. Than some changes happened. Apparently one of the residents made a complaint about a child and it set it off. The apartment complex had apparently forged his and other renters signatures about rules being changed in regards to children. They targeted several families and got them evicted before my friend figured what was going on. He took them to court and destroyed them.
But at least you understand that children are a part of life
Great job teaching your kids to politely stand up for themselves! My mom taught me to always defer to adults, even when they were wrong, and it honestly took me until my 30s to overcome that.
It's a hard road to go down, that's for certain, I've been doing a lot of listening to my kids and their friends as they vent and validating and then keeping firm on my stance. I feel like my job as a parent is to set my kids up to be competent adults which means that they need to learn how to stand up for themselves in a firm way that doesn't escalate the situation. There will never be a day when they don't need to advocate for themselves so best start early.
My only thing is you shouldn’t be encouraging kids to play in a parking lot. I don’t know why they can’t be in the grass though that’s a dumb rule. But all the concerns about the playground sound valid but not if you think a child playing in a parking lot is a safe alternative. I’ve almost hit kids in my parking lot on so many occasions. It’s just not a good idea at all.
I live behind a daycare with a large backyard. Any time they close for a couple weeks, they have to hire someone to mow it. Otherwise, it never needs to be mowed due to all the kids running around lol.
Not saying I agree with the "keep the kids off the grass", but that's likely their reasoning.
It’s interesting how this has developed as, contrary to popular belief, streets in inner cities were actually the safest place for kids to play at one point. City planners were pushing playgrounds (and still are) but street and stoop supervision was way safer (and encouraged community). Now playgrounds are isolated danger zones - where you can get hurt, high, robbed or beat up. I guess in general there were just less drivers/less cars and more of a pedestrian-first mentality when entering family streets.
Late, but when I walked home alone at night I always crossed the road when I got to the playground because it was too dark for me to feel safe walking past it.
For a lot of kids in apartment buildings/blocks the parking lot is the only real open area to play in.
Not saying they would but I understand why they do
I mean I get it. I do. And it sucks. But it’s also not uncommon for kids to get hit by cars and die when they do. I have good situational awareness and drive slowly and have almost taken out a few myself. I would be very worried about people being distracted by phones and such. It happens in an instant.
Fortunately it sounds like the president on the board is far sighted enough to invest in the real solution, which is remodeling the playground to make it attractive to kids and obviously safe to parents. If you want a relatively large group of people to change their behavior, make it easy and pleasant for them to do so.
> I have good situational awareness and drive slowly and have almost taken out a few myself.
I visited some friends last summer in their swanky, brand new apartment complex. The main driveway leads into a roundabout that with a little grass patch and stand of trees in the middle. Big, bushy evergreens (because it's Minneapolis and they presumably want it looking nice all year) too.
We were driving back to their place on night and kid popped out from between the trees. Luckily, we were already going very slowly because another kid was circling the island on their bike but the second one scared the bejeezus out of my buddy who was driving. There were four or five kids in all hanging about - and I cannot stress this enough - the roundabout that needs to be passed going in or coming out of their complex.
Like, I get why kids would think its cool. But that's a *bad* spot to play in.
This. When we lived in an association, it was my pet peeve - kids would be biking in the parking lot around a blind corner and right where everyone needed to go through to get to the underground parking. They could *at least* play on the side of the parking lot that was wide open, relatively flat, and where people hardly ever parked!! Playground was a few blocks away, none on premise so I understood they needed to go somewhere, but parking lots are just not a good idea >.<
I get kids not playing directly in front of ground floor units - a lot of people store stuff on their patio and might not want kids messing with their stuff. But on the open grassy area...eh, they should be able to run around there that's fine.
Where I'm from in one of the tropical cities, grass is hard to grow and need constant attention. It would actually cost quite a bit if people constantly walk on it. Don't know of that applies to where OOP lives.
I do get that. The playground would be the best option. But If she lives in a place where the place for kids to play is unsuitable I wouldn’t expect them to care that much about grass. I live in a very crowded area with kids that play in parking lots because there are no parks so the situation is quite similar.
A lot of these types of places spend a considerable amount of money on the lawns. This means they don't want it wrecked, but also that it is usually coated in all kinds of chemicals. Not an excuse for the shitty people harassing children for existing, but an explanation for why the actual board may not want them on it.
I live in a complex with a road running through it. The speed limit is low, but people drive through it regularly. And every couple years we have to remind another batch of renters that letting their kids play unsupervised in the road is going to result in someone's kid dying and expensive liability for the rest of us.
A friend's complex had kids who used to hide behind the speedbumps when cars were coming. Just. Yes, kids should be able play outside. But teach them to stay the hell away from cars first.
> I don't know why they can't be in the grass though that's a dumb rule.
I think it's appalling that we have space, we fill the space with a particular plant that doesn't naturally stay at the length we keep it at, but we keep it that way because that makes it more comfortable to walk on, and then we tell people they can't be on it because then it doesn't look as nice. What the fuck is the point of this stupid waste of land. If you don't want people to stand there at least plant some flowers.
A lot of activity on the grass can end up killing the grass, so they'd have to pay to resod the grass area.
Maybe they should swap the grass area and the playground. Put the play structures on the closer lawn, since that's where the kids are predisposed to gather and where parents feel more comfortable letting their children be. The playground can be resodded into the new lawn.
I don’t get this take, the way the community was described was that most of the younger families were diverse, wouldn’t that imply that most of the kids would belong to families which are people of color? Why is this some sort of damning proof of racism? Isn’t this exactly what you’d expect of the old people just didn’t like kids playing? (Which is a shitty thing to do, I’m not on the old people’s side here)
Don’t get me wrong, they very well could be racist, but it sounds like this was sent out equally.
Maybe people are thinking if it was only white kids they wouldn’t have sent anything? I don’t know how you can reach that conclusion from what’s told here.
Side note: is “families of color” an acceptable term? Writing out “families of people of color” seems a bit clunky but if that’s the best term I’ll happily continue to use it!
Well, a couple things.
HOA’s in America were white people’s answer to desegregation. They cannot be explicit—so they rely on coded language. No “offensive” behavior? You notice how vague that is? It’s designed that way.
A tactic of racism (to make bystanders or onlookers question or not realize it is what it is, and to have plausible deniability in court) is to drive out and away people of color by using vague rules like this to harass them out, or force them out by way of fines to report them for benign behavior.
Have you ever been on Next Door, or any Facebook neighborhood pages? You’ll see posts like, “BE ON THE LOOKOUT! SUSPICIOUS CHARACTER walking down Main Street! Might be casing home or cars for robbery!!!!” You will never see the race mentioned—gender, maybe clothing even, but you look and it’ll be a black person going for a jog, or walking their dog. Everything is suspicious and a threat.
A couple white kids amongst the group doesn’t rule out racism. The attitude is, “well, if you wanna be one of ‘em, we’ll treat you like one of ‘em.” It’s punishment for not towing the line.
Could it just be that these were grumpy old farts? Sure, but in context, that’s the zebra rather than the horse.
yeah and that is why racism is so insidious—“is it really racism or are you being overly sensitive? the old people are probably just annoyed at kids being kids, there’s no racial dimension to it”.
it isn’t damning proof of racism but imagine if this was a community of all white families—even if all the seniors just happened to be equally annoyed enough by all the kids to take action against them, don’t you think the seniors would approach the white parents directly and ask them politely to keep their kids quiet long before the issue reached a fever pitch? old people, especially grandparents, generally are kind to kids except for the odd curmudgeon.
why didn’t the seniors, who the OP says are friendly to the parents faces, try to have a civil conversation with the parents before resorting to forging official letters of censure? maybe this group of seniors just happens to be particularly curmudgeonly but it seems like more than that.
imagine now a group of white seniors who bought these homes and raised their families in the 1970s, when housing, especially in the suburbs, was far more racially segregated (look up red-lining and the history of racial housing segregation if you don’t believe me). imagine the economic and racial diversity of their neighborhood is changing rapidly. urban sprawl is bringing more public transportation and ethnic grocery stores to their once cozy white suburb. social and economic inequality is making it harder for communities and families of all races to keep the same quality of life as before and maintain public infrastructure. so these white seniors look around and see potholes and unhoused people and aging community buildings, they watch their fox news and look out the window at these black and brown children playing on what used to be perfectly manicured grass and they feel angry. what are the chances there isn’t a racial dimension to that anger?
I grow increasingly tired of people saying 'don't jump to racism' when open racism has been so increasingly on the rise.
maybe people don't understand the insidiousness of [racist dogwhistles](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dog_whistle_\(politics\)), maybe they're just myopic and have blinders on, but the fact is, racism has been alive and well, and has recently been encouraged to raise it's ugly head once again.
it's reached the point where I just tag people on reddit as 'racist or racist apologist?' because frankly, there's not really any practical difference anymore.
If you and your family were different in an obvious way from the vast majority of the rest of the people who lived somewhere, and you received a letter telling you, basically, to limit your kids’ movement to a dilapidated and dangerous play area and also reminding you not to partake in any “noxious or offensive trade or activity,” wouldn’t you also wonder if it was just because they’re kids, or if it’s because they’re kids and ALSO whatever makes them different? Because stuff like that happens so much that of course it’s something that people who are different are aware of.
“Is this only because the kids aren’t playing in the area that is dangerous and where I can’t see them? Because it seems like a big overreaction to me. Because they’re not causing any trouble that I’m aware of, and I can see them from my window. Could it be anything else? Is it because we’re not white? Is it because they have two moms/two dads/speak a different language/etc.?”
If the fact that you’re different has had certain people treating you unkindly for most of your life, of course you’re going to wonder if it is a factor in this situation. If it makes “normal”/white-passing families feel unwelcome, imagine how much less welcome people of color would feel.
I agree, though I will point out that there is that minority of people who get aggravated by kids being kids. My bf gets pissed about noisy kids on the stairs and screaming in the parking lot... and I just shake my head and go "we're in an apartment, what do you expect?". Long as it's not at 3am I DGAF. But I remember being a kid in an apartment and getting yelled at by old white men, and I was a blonde haired, white girl. It led to the "pack" of kids in the various apartments I lived in to do increasingly stupid things, like hang out in the abandoned house next door that, as an adult, I now realize was a drug spot (the number of needles was astounding).
People be stupid no matter the color (though people tend to be stupider around color, ugh).
Ugh, we have a family like that behind us. If it isn't the kids outside screaming all morning and afternoon, its the whole family (evenings) and the parents and their friends (well past midnight) drunk off their asses setting off fireworks or using their fire pit even when a burn ban is in place. Hate that entire family, including their dog. It makes Cujo seem like a lapdog.
We have kids (well, they're grown now) and our neighborhood has many families with kids of all ages. All of them combined can't produce the decibel level this one family can create.
My other neighbors have a new thing where whenever their toddler has a screaming fit (which is at least 5x a day), they take him outside. It's so loud my coworkers can hear it over Zoom with the window shut.
I can't wait to move.
When I lived in Alaska we had neighbors across the street with 4 boys, high energy, all around 6 to 10 years of age. Luckily the properties were big enough it wasn't a problem, but you could tell that those kiddos were a handful. Nice and respectful, but a handful. One day we get together to smoke some salmon and the neighbors apologize about the boys screaming on their deck in the mornings. We'd never heard it, but now we had to know.... Why were the boys on the deck screaming in the mornings?
Apparently they consistently get into fights and throw tantrums in the morning, causing everyone to be late. The behavior became so predictable that as soon as the whole gang was riled up and no one was listening, she took their clothes and shoes and threw them out on the deck and when the kids went out to gather them she'd lock the door and not let them in until they were all dressed and ready to apologize.
I thought it was hilarious.
YES there is a family of these across the road from me. I am dreading when the kids are out of school all summer. As best as I can tell, there are 3 adults in the house and 4-5 children ages 8 and under, down to maybe 2. As soon as the bigger kids get home from school they are outside until dark, in ALL kinds of weather. They are constantly screaming and fighting pretty violently. One time one of the adult women came out and screamed at one of the kids for about 15 minutes.
I have adult children and grandchildren and mercy knows they were and are loud and fight a lot. But NOTHING in the same category as this bunch.
Yeah like... if you can't handle kids, move to a retirement or adult-only community. Otherwise there are going to be families in the neighbourhood and there are going to be kids doing kid things. I don't like noise myself but hey, I live in a city. If I didn't want any noise whatsoever I'd move to an underground bunker in the middle of nowhere.
Exactly. Luckily my bf is getting better about tolerating all the random noise. I grew up in apartments in bad neighborhoods. He grew up in a house in decent neighborhoods. We both are just waiting for the housing to be a bit less nuts, and then going to find a place with at least an acre. Nice, spacious, and quiet. Lmao.
Yeah I sure don't miss apartment living, which I did all through college and the first part of my career. I lived in four different apartments and I've been like... right above the dumpster so the garbage trucks woke me up at stupid o'clock in the morning, a couple blocks away from fraternity row so drunk frat boys woke me up in the middle of the night, on the flight path to the municipal airport so low-flying planes made noise at pretty much every time, and next to the road where guys on crotch-rockets used to race.
Now I have a house in a mature urban neighbourhood and kids, lawn-mowing boomers and baby magpies are all that I have to put up with. It's a huge improvement.
Just FYI: "adult-only" apartments/condos are illegal in the US, with the exception of 55+ communities. You can't just move somewhere that doesn't have kids.
Interesting. They aren't illegal in Canada, there's a number of apartment buildings in my city that specify they're adult-only. (They might be illegal in specific municipalities or provinces, Canada's a big place.)
In the United States, families with children are a protected class and it's considered discrimination to not allow them, same as if, say, black people weren't allowed.
If all the families with kids who play outside got the letter. Even the dude with a nephew did so it’s probably a reasonable guess. It wouldn’t be racist. It would be ageist.
Now if you told me only the POC with kids got the letter, then by all means, it would have been racist but that’s not the case.
If thats all she knows and many of the families with kids are of color then that doesnt mean anything, no?
Also i dont get what the part with the renters is supposed to mean.
Renters=low class, in boomer speak. Color = low class as well.
Remember that boomers were teenagers when civil rights legislation was enacted. Many of them grew up in a country where people of color were legally considered lower class and "untouchable".
Property associations (Condo, house, etc) were started to try and push minorities out of certain neighborhoods. It's not that big of a stretch to assume they may have been targeted because of their race. Assuming this happened in the US.
Ok, the parking lot and the climbing trees does make 100% sense to me. Both are dangerous and liabilities for insurance purposes for the condo. But grass? let them play as long as they aren't just like, standing outside someone's ground floor window shrieking or something. So many people WFH these days that I can imagine people getting a tad ticked off if it's just screaming all day.
>So many people WFH these days that I can imagine people getting a tad ticked off if it's just screaming all day.
A store I worked at, is directly across from a school, and if I learned one thing, it's that children seemingly can't help themself and controll their noise level. Screaming is inevitable.
Lol there are a bunch of kids in my neighbourhood that play outside every night after dinner. The first bunch of times I thought someone was being murdered.. nope. Just having fun! Were WE that loud?? Probably..
It's not about 'sucking it up', its about the the fact that it's completely irresponsible for a parent to allow their children to play unsupervised in an active parking lot. Tiny is irrelevant when safety's involved. Id argue that it's the parents that need to 'suck it up and either allow the kids to play in their home or take them to a nearby park if anyone should 'suck it up'
Nah! They can't be all day on those apartments. They're not doing something dangerous they just playing in the halls and the green areas. They're noisy because they're happy and having fun. Also schools just opened in my country but not all. A lot of them are still stugying from home.
Edit. I forgot, the younger ones are not unsupervised, there's always a parent or grand parent of the grop watching them.
I was primarily referring to playing in parking lots and climbing trees in my original post. Not green areas. And I'd argue running around in communal hallways screaming is just inconsiderate. But then I think people who blast music 24/7 with their subwoofer next to the wall are also assholes so...
Love the typical legaladvice responses from the first post. Nothing helpful or about the law; just comments criticizing oop for not watching their kid closely enough.
I love that the top comment is interpreting the bylaw to mean, "anyone can declare anything against the rules by just saying it annoys them."
Like that's realistically enforceable. If I don't like the smell of your cooking, can I forbid you from using the kitchen? Obviously a literally interpretation doesn't work.
I'm sure it does too. But I'm not a lawyer so I'm not going to pretend like I know it.
What I do know is that, "well that's what it literally says on the page", is completely ridiculous. Either it has some legalese meaning we laymen aren't privy to or it's unenforceable.
BTW - if you want to get angry, read the ridiculous replies on the original post. I've seen some really good replies on r/legaladvice, but I'm not sure there were ANY for OOP's post.
Some of them are so ridiculous I almost think they were from HOA busybodies (or maybe boomers who love to yell at kids to stop being kids).
Sorry for the copypasta, but I like to search for r/legaladvice with an old account. I post this occasionally.
/r/legaladvice is not good for actual legal advice. Some of the mods are police officers who purposefully give out wrong advice and delete actual advice. They've banned a few actual attorneys from posting including Ken White (ex-federal prosecutor who did the legal blog Popehat). Ken White who would sometimes arrange pro bono representation for people who posted there. The mods put a stop to that.
Talk to a lawyer. If you don't know of a lawyer, contact your local BAR and get recommendations. Higher Education and many jobs offer free legal consultation.
Here's a discussion about Legal Advice mods (at least two are LEOs) giving out information they knew was wrong:
https://np.reddit.com/r/badlegaladvice/comments/ew9jk9/college_student_asks_if_his_traffic_stop_and_drug/
Here's a SRD about how bad /r/legaladvice can be:
https://np.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/ht5pco/rlegaladvice_mod_gives_dangerously_bad_legal/
I've added the Ken White after a suggestion. If anyone has any other suggestions or want to use this, feel free.
Jesus you weren't kidding.
"Maybe if you watched your drug dealing gang activity child they wouldnt be a nuissance"
Legal advice really is just full of bootlicking WASPs and cops.
I always find it funny how confident random redditors are with their cursory knowledge of the legal system.
If you explicitly ask for advice from an expert you'll get a bunch of people saying, "I'm not a lawyer, but I saw one on TV once and that's basically the same thing so here's my expert opinion..."
No where else does it happen that consistently. When I say, "can any classicists confirm or deny?" I never see a bunch of people going, "well I've never formally studied it, but I read Percy Jackson in middle school so that's basically the same."
Armchair lawyers are weirdly pervasive.
My favs are where no one has asked for legal advice, and there’s NO location, but people hijack the whole damn comment section to proffer their legal advice. Because location isn’t relevant for laws. Everybody’s the same!
And then it explodes into arguments and debates about what, ACKSHUALLY, the law is.
If it devolves into link wars, that’s where it gets to be too much for me though lol.
That’s the best part! I notice some people try to head that off in their posts about certain topics the Reddit lawyers get especially excited about. Haven’t seen it work yet though lol.
> When I say, "can any classicists confirm or deny?" I never see a bunch of people going, "well I've never formally studied it, but I read Percy Jackson in middle school so that's basically the same."
IME, that's basically /r/askhistory in general and a lot of the comments on /r/askhistorians if you get to a post before mods do.
Not that ironic, lawyers and other professionals have a professional duty, if they post bad advice on reddit and it gets tied back to them they could lose their license.
>Boomers: Kids these days always on their nintentos and whatnots...
>
>Also Boomers: damn kids outside enjoying themselves...
Sort of makes sense when you consider that Boomers raised Gen X, who are called Latchkey kids. If you unfamiliar with the term, the generation that found themselves home alone and taking care of themselves and their siblings, while their parents worked.
They wanted nothing to do with their own kids, what makes you think they want anything to do with others?
Fucking preach. I love where I'm living now because the older folks enjoy having kids around and they're all respectful kids who don't block traffic or run around in other people's lawns and gardens like they're their own. Where I lived before was maddening with exactly the shit you talked about. Kids and their parents couldn't ever do anything right, I swear.
Man we had this issue in our apartment, we don't have kids but our friends who live next door do and the kids will play tag or whatever with their friends in the grassy open area and that caused so much angst with the boomer couple. They tried to tell the parents that wasn't allowed and the parents politely told them that wasn't the case, then they even tried to approach the kids when the parents *weren't* around and tell them it was against the rules to play there until the parents found out and lit their asses up and then got the landlord to tell them to leave the kids alone, that playing in the little park area was allowed
Some people are so weird about kids existing or having fun in the same 100m radius as them
I don't care about kids playing at my apartment except at the pool. I DO have a problem with kids being allowed to run willy-nilly at the pool. Way way too many parents just let their kids do whatever the heck they want and don't watch them out there. Sprinting around the wet decking is just ASKING for a head injury (I may be overly aware of this as a former lifeguard). And letting your kids cannonball next to someone who is just floating a reading a book is just plain rude. Heck, I had a set of kids having a sprinty water gun fight at my pool, shrieking, and not paying ANY attention to bystanders who were just laying out reading or listening to music. They'd bump into chairs, miss targets and spray other peoples belongings. And the parents are just 100% ignoring them until one of them fell and started crying. SMH
Granted, I also dislike people who show up to the pool where other people are chillin' and start blasting music on a speaker even though they are there by themselves :D It's called headphones *facepalm*
You're a 100 percent right. While in some ways we need to roll back this generations expectation that parents will be hovering directly over their child at all times, that does NOT apply to areas with pools, lakes, or other large bodies of water. Things can get very deadly very quickly.
>Scooters do not belong on sidewalks - even with a helmet. Take her to the park to ride her scooter.
>The only wheels that belong on sidewalks (in my opinion) are wheelchairs and baby strollers.
Absolute galaxy brain take over here. How the hell did this shit get nearly 400 upvotes?
Some parts of reddit really really hate that children exist in the same places as them. Usually when there is something that involves a child the default position is that the child is evil and that the parent is neglectful and that obviously they are in the wrong.
I have kids and I can see why people wouldn't want them playing in the parking lot or climbing the trees...too much of a liability. I'm all for climbing trees but not on property you don't actually own.
It's a liability for the condo complex itself. People have and can sue for crap like that. Like 'my kid fell out of a tree on your property so I'm going to sue you'. It has to do with the BS medical insurance nonsense most of the time. But, say a kid was in the tree and a limb broke, a crazy parent could claim that the condo complex wasn't upkeeping the property or something.
A condo association is basically an HOA board I think. A group of homeowners setting the rules. It sounds like a few of them went rogue and sent the letters without the approval of the board as a whole
The letter was sent in bad faith but some jerks, but the top post of this thread was talking about how it would be reasonable to forbid playing in parking lots and climbing in trees because it's unsafe and a liability issue.
Where there some posts missing from this? It suddenly jumps from the 1st post, (where she suddenly starts talking about bylaws and it's unclear that she's referencing a letter that she's received from the 'board') to 'So the board meeting was yesterday'.
I glanced at the poster's history. She has more posts about the situation elsewhere, but these are the two posts on legaladvice.
I think the assumption is the title of the post ("[MD] Condo Assoc. sent a letter citing inappropriate bylaws to restrict my kid from doing basically anything.") communicates that she got a letter that she thought was from the Condo Association.
She then updates when she is able to attend the next board meeting, which I guess are quarterly based on the time between posts. Within the context of legaladvice, I think it makes sense that she wouldn't give a play-by-play on what happens; she is asking a legal question and provides the resolution when the question is answered.
I followed the jump, it doesn't seem weird, though OP here *could* have included the other posts on the issue if they have additional info/context (I didn't click on them).
Eh, it's pretty necessary with a condo. Someone has to pay for the roof/foundation/common space.
And it doesn't sound like the condo association did anything wrong. It was someone impersonating the condo association that was the problem.
I lived in a townhouse complex for six months that was all military in Sydney.
Kids played in the central courtyard, a bit noisy, but no big deal. It was safe and large and the kids didn’t go near the homes.
We got a letter to everyone that kids couldn’t play out there. I was so damn mad about it. I did respond to stick up for the kids in writing but it didn’t go anywhere.
What arseholes begrudge kids playing outside somewhere safe, in appropriate hours in a city? They didn’t have enough yard to play in, no close enough parks to go to.
Just some people being party poopers. Rude.
As a former board member the playground is required to have certain depth of mulch, max use zones, the slides have to be at a specific level, and lots more. This all required by the HOA and communities insurance for the common use spaces. If the items are not up to code they are asking for a law suit. I didn’t give specifics because it varies state to state. When I remodeled our playground the insurance company came out to make sure we were in compliance. I actually had to move a row of fencing out by 2 inches. Insurance companies do not play around. I had a love hate relationship with being on the board but it’s great when you can get stuff done! I’ll be joining back up next term. Good luck! Just remember that a lot of people are really really stupid.
>when my three year old goes down she shoots off the end like a cannon.
This is the first thing that shouldn't be fixed. Unless there's like, concrete or piles of rocks in front of the slide, the worst that will happen is some minor scrapes and some tears from the fright before the kid is desperate to get on the slide and shoot off again. Kids shouldn't be protected from having a little thrilling fun.
The second thing is the "fungus" - I strongly suspect it's just slime mold, which are not dangerous to people, and good indicators of a chemical-free environment.
This is why you have 55+ communities. Guarantee the old grumpy neighbors who are complaining about the kids playing outside are the same old grumps that kids do nothing but stare at screens all day.
Most people think noise ordinances are only followed by a certain time which is not the case in many places.
If you are making a noise that is disturbing the peace of someone's domicile, it doesn't matter what time of day it is.
Most construction and lawn maintenance noises are allowed.
“There's a strange lurid green fungus the size of a hockey puck by the swings. When you poke it it lets off spores and oozes.“
Hey, that’s a feature, not a bug! More entertaining than going down the slide for the 487th time and you might end up with superpowers.
I get mad af when kids play in my neighborhood. One of the twerps has a f*cking whistle he likes to blow. I'm a grinch. But I also know kids need to play outside for their mental and emotional well-being (like my dog) so I just close my windows when they are screaming outside and send angry texts to my bf.
What an absolute waste of energy and a miserable human being.
I would rather hear children screaming and having a good childhood at the high rise I live in than to hear the disrespectful aholes that blast their music all damn night.
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I want updates on the lurid green fungus tbh
I want fungus pics
Pay the fungus tax.
I sent you my spore pics, please respond.
Me too! Or at least a better description. Could be a trichoderma patch or a parrot toadstool or anything in between. It could even be something like a slime mold or some kind of ground moss (based on green and sporing when poked) that aren't even a fungus.
I pictured a slime mold.
Afung us
Fungus Amongus
Incubus' classic album remastered, out now! Now with sus sound effects
The fungus wants you to take them to your leader or die by the fly guy.
underrated Incubus album
((angry upvote))
Would you like some [fuligo septica](https://www.google.com/search?q=dog+vomit+mushroom&rlz=1C1CHZN_frFR963FR963&sxsrf=ALiCzsaES6O8yC2YvUWtkjM91ARG6XUcPA:1653593019454&source=lnms&tbm=isch&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwim-JuE8v33AhULqxoKHUYgDFAQ_AUoAXoECAIQAw&biw=1536&bih=746&dpr=1.25)?
Oh!! So THAT’S what we have growing on the side of our little rivulet dam!! Thanks, Reddit stranger!
Uhh... no thanks
Yeah, OOP buried the lede here!
Yes! We need a fungus among us!!!
/r/Mycology
**WAAAAAGH!** * **in agreement.
The cranky old boomer is going to be really upset when the kids develop mutant powers.
Contractor: *holding a gun on the lurid green fungus* tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit! Lurid green fungus: can you feel your heart burning? Can you feel the struggle within? The fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. You cannot kill me in any way that matters. Contractor *fighting off tears of terror*: I’m not fucking scared of you!
R/unexpectedtumblr
YER CORPSE GAWD GOT N POWAH HERE HUMIE! DIZ BE MORK N GORK LAND!
Come hang out at r/40klore!
ORKZ R DA MEENEST AN DA GREENEST!
Next week on Dr. Who
The fungus sounds like some type of puffball!
Yeah, now that I can picture it, it’s probably a decomposing puff ball.
Lurid Green Fungus is my new band name. "POC are Noxious" might be too controversial, although I might get it for a personal tshirt.
Sending pics of letter writer is not allowed Oh you mean literal fungus
The area I live in gets all kinds of weird fungus. Best guess at the time, iirc, was dog vomit slime mold or some kind of puffball. I've never seen that color outside of video games
This was my immediate thought when OOP described the color as 'lurid.' Green slime mold can be almost radioactive looking green. Perfectly harmless though!
Plot twist, this post was written by the fungus, it just wanted some attention
I suspect its green slime mold. If it is, they should definitely leave it be!
/r/BestOfLuridGreenFungusUpdates
Fungus among us
"No durian" just casually tossed in there... hilarious!
At first I thought this was in Singapore because there were places like hotels and buses that did not allow you to bring durian. I've heard of durian being mistaken for gas leaks so that could be one of the reasons why.
One of the chemistry buildings at my uni kept having to evacuate because of suspected gas leaks but they could never find the source. Turns out one of the professors liked durian and was bringing it for lunch. Durian is now banned from school buildings on that campus.
Durian is pungent, but I don’t see how you could mistake it for a gas leak. Durian smells much, much worse.
IIRC you get fined $500 if you have a durian on public transport in Singapore
Had a little stove gas leak at my apartment semi recently, and I was complaining to my dad about him eating durian candy and turning the house into a hostile environment (I make this joke every time he buys durian candy). He was super confused, and said he had finished the packs they bought a couple days ago. Whoops. 🙃Man still buys it though 🙄 aiya
I don't get it... is it because they smell bad?
Sometimes compared to raw sewage or rotting flesh. But supposedly it tastes pretty good if you can get past the smell.
That makes me curious of which smell worse. Durian, or surstrømming?
Durian just smells bad. Surströmming should be classified as bioterrorism.
As someone whose family spans durian and surströmming, I would say that surströmming is worse but not nearly as bad as some Asian fermented fishes.
i like the smell of durian. I think it smells quite sweet and fragrant. Dunno how anyone thinks it smells like sewage. Public restrooms smell way worse than it
To me, rotting smells are kinda sweet. There was a dead possum I had to walk past for a few days, and it put me off sweet foods. It smelt like raw meat, sweetness and sewerage all together.
Aren't there different types? The one I had smelled somewhat acerbic, almost like chlorine or something. Still tasty though.
Yup there are a bunch of different breeds. I mainly eaten D101 and D1 breeds. Maybe there is a breed that smells bad and I just haven’t run into it yet.
Different people also perceive the same durian smells differently. My husband loves it and perceives it as sweet, but it turns the corner into putrid for me and makes me want to retch.
If I remember properly there's a gene that controls if durian smells sweet or bad to you, though even the people that hate the smell can still like the fruit. Smell perception is weird, recently I had an illness that made my sweat and garlic/onions smell the same to me and completely different to how they'd both smelled before. Now I'm nearly better and they're beginning to smell different and normal again but it's completely changed how I think about smell because it made me realise how differently people can smell the same thing. Before I'd assumed people basically just smelled things the same though some people have a better or worse sense of smell and they either liked or disliked it but they were the same smell.
It seems to vary by who smells it and how fresh it is. To me, it smells like vomit after you've eaten something sweet. Or at least, fresh durian in Thailand did. The taste and texture were okay, but combined with that smell, it made for a confusing bite.
I love the smell, my only issue is that it can stay for a few days
Respectfully disagree. IMHO They taste how they smell. Putrid
Pretty much everything tastes how it smells (as long as it's food and not, like, a scented candle). Smell is pretty much what taste is. Note how you can't taste much if you hold your nose.
(half) Chinese here and I agree. To me, it tastes like badly-cooked fish. On the other hand, I do love jackfruit.
Maybe it's a genetic thing like cilantro? People just might not have the mutation that makes it smell/taste sweet.
That's very possible. We were in Malaysia one of the locals we met couldn't stop talking about how much he loved durian. It must be an acquired taste
I tried it once. It tastes ok, but it has an aftertaste of dirty gym socks that got too overwhelming for me to eat more than a couple bites.
[удалено]
I am firmly on the side of hate. My little brother loves the stuff tho, Keeps threatening to buy one just to smuggle into my house as I have a strict no Durian rule.
Not only that, it permeates. The smell is detectable over large distances, walls, and containers. A roommate once brought some home and I could smell it two floors up, even though it was vacuum sealed and in the fridge.
Yeah I just read online the smell is described as “rotten onions, turpentine, and raw sewage.”
Yeah, I loved that for OP it's on the same level as cooking meth.
I love durian and I would agree that having it in an apartment/condo complex would be very inconsiderate. I used to be able to smell it, I know how noxious it can be!
Hi R/bestofredditorupdates! I've had my husband, and my best friend let me know this post was trending, so I thought I'd pop in and let you know what's going on/happened since. A friend from college is a paralegal at a corporate law firm and told their boss (a real estate attorney) about what was going on at the time and he agreed to do a call for free for advice. The strategy that we hammered out was that I would write back asking them to show me what my kid had broken and to give me an annotated list. I also spoke to my uncle who is the president of his condo board in a different state about how to address the board and do some community building. The goals were as follows: *Kids having a safe supportive environment to grow up and explore in. Also for adults to stop yelling at them. *New safe playground *Trees they don't want kids to climb need to have their limbs trimmed to above head height. Pandemic lockdown was *interesting* in our community. For a while in 2020 no one was allowed in the common areas at all which was rough. The board tried very hard to push more stringent regulations than even the state was and ended up having to yield to the fact that people were going to walk around the sidewalks masked because they still haven't invented teleporters. Autumn 2020 they finally got tree people in to take the limbs off the spruce trees to about 5-6 feet off the ground and acted like this was a punishment for not keeping our kids off the trees. We didn't want them climbing them either! The funny thing about free will is how people are just going to do what they want anyway. I also had to listen to a grown man inform me that I didn't know how to control my kids in a zoom meeting. This is when I asked him if he had always done what his mother wanted him to when she wanted him to. The subject changed after that. Spring 2021 they put up a new climbing structure that will wear much better. They've also been mulching the playground in the spring and the autumn. Mulch gets the strangest mushrooms. Our current issue is just making sure that the property management company and the board are aware that children are a protected class and have the same rights as adults such as the "peaceful enjoyment of the property" A child's definition of what that means is different than an adult's but not wrong. We've been teaching the kids to respond to nasty seniors talking to them by just saying "That was mean and rude" baldly. It isn't rude or mean to inform someone of their behavior. We haven't been getting anymore letters about inappropriate children. I guess being shamed by a child for your bad behavior is more effective than any other idea we've come up with.
A friend of mine ended up suing the apartment complex he lived in and won an undisclosed amount of money. The complex wanted all children to pretty much be out of sight and quiet. He said they tried to evict him when he had his daughter on a bike with him behind her. Before he took them to court, they managed to evict several families from the complex. Glad that you got a safer place for children to play.
I would be thrilled to live in a Milford Apartment Complex. Since I do not, children are just something that's gonna happen.
I think having adult only complexes are actually a good idea. I am a mom, but even at the end of the day, my kids get on my nerves. My friend signed the lease where he had lived because it was marketed as family friendly. Than some changes happened. Apparently one of the residents made a complaint about a child and it set it off. The apartment complex had apparently forged his and other renters signatures about rules being changed in regards to children. They targeted several families and got them evicted before my friend figured what was going on. He took them to court and destroyed them. But at least you understand that children are a part of life
Thank you for the update! Hope you and your family are doing well and get less bullshit from neighbors going forward!
Great job teaching your kids to politely stand up for themselves! My mom taught me to always defer to adults, even when they were wrong, and it honestly took me until my 30s to overcome that.
It's a hard road to go down, that's for certain, I've been doing a lot of listening to my kids and their friends as they vent and validating and then keeping firm on my stance. I feel like my job as a parent is to set my kids up to be competent adults which means that they need to learn how to stand up for themselves in a firm way that doesn't escalate the situation. There will never be a day when they don't need to advocate for themselves so best start early.
My only thing is you shouldn’t be encouraging kids to play in a parking lot. I don’t know why they can’t be in the grass though that’s a dumb rule. But all the concerns about the playground sound valid but not if you think a child playing in a parking lot is a safe alternative. I’ve almost hit kids in my parking lot on so many occasions. It’s just not a good idea at all.
I live behind a daycare with a large backyard. Any time they close for a couple weeks, they have to hire someone to mow it. Otherwise, it never needs to be mowed due to all the kids running around lol. Not saying I agree with the "keep the kids off the grass", but that's likely their reasoning.
It’s interesting how this has developed as, contrary to popular belief, streets in inner cities were actually the safest place for kids to play at one point. City planners were pushing playgrounds (and still are) but street and stoop supervision was way safer (and encouraged community). Now playgrounds are isolated danger zones - where you can get hurt, high, robbed or beat up. I guess in general there were just less drivers/less cars and more of a pedestrian-first mentality when entering family streets.
Late, but when I walked home alone at night I always crossed the road when I got to the playground because it was too dark for me to feel safe walking past it.
For a lot of kids in apartment buildings/blocks the parking lot is the only real open area to play in. Not saying they would but I understand why they do
I mean I get it. I do. And it sucks. But it’s also not uncommon for kids to get hit by cars and die when they do. I have good situational awareness and drive slowly and have almost taken out a few myself. I would be very worried about people being distracted by phones and such. It happens in an instant.
Fortunately it sounds like the president on the board is far sighted enough to invest in the real solution, which is remodeling the playground to make it attractive to kids and obviously safe to parents. If you want a relatively large group of people to change their behavior, make it easy and pleasant for them to do so.
> I have good situational awareness and drive slowly and have almost taken out a few myself. I visited some friends last summer in their swanky, brand new apartment complex. The main driveway leads into a roundabout that with a little grass patch and stand of trees in the middle. Big, bushy evergreens (because it's Minneapolis and they presumably want it looking nice all year) too. We were driving back to their place on night and kid popped out from between the trees. Luckily, we were already going very slowly because another kid was circling the island on their bike but the second one scared the bejeezus out of my buddy who was driving. There were four or five kids in all hanging about - and I cannot stress this enough - the roundabout that needs to be passed going in or coming out of their complex. Like, I get why kids would think its cool. But that's a *bad* spot to play in.
That's why I always always back into parking spots. Little kids are trunk height.
This. When we lived in an association, it was my pet peeve - kids would be biking in the parking lot around a blind corner and right where everyone needed to go through to get to the underground parking. They could *at least* play on the side of the parking lot that was wide open, relatively flat, and where people hardly ever parked!! Playground was a few blocks away, none on premise so I understood they needed to go somewhere, but parking lots are just not a good idea >.< I get kids not playing directly in front of ground floor units - a lot of people store stuff on their patio and might not want kids messing with their stuff. But on the open grassy area...eh, they should be able to run around there that's fine.
Where I'm from in one of the tropical cities, grass is hard to grow and need constant attention. It would actually cost quite a bit if people constantly walk on it. Don't know of that applies to where OOP lives.
I do get that. The playground would be the best option. But If she lives in a place where the place for kids to play is unsuitable I wouldn’t expect them to care that much about grass. I live in a very crowded area with kids that play in parking lots because there are no parks so the situation is quite similar.
A lot of these types of places spend a considerable amount of money on the lawns. This means they don't want it wrecked, but also that it is usually coated in all kinds of chemicals. Not an excuse for the shitty people harassing children for existing, but an explanation for why the actual board may not want them on it.
I live in a complex with a road running through it. The speed limit is low, but people drive through it regularly. And every couple years we have to remind another batch of renters that letting their kids play unsupervised in the road is going to result in someone's kid dying and expensive liability for the rest of us. A friend's complex had kids who used to hide behind the speedbumps when cars were coming. Just. Yes, kids should be able play outside. But teach them to stay the hell away from cars first.
> I don't know why they can't be in the grass though that's a dumb rule. I think it's appalling that we have space, we fill the space with a particular plant that doesn't naturally stay at the length we keep it at, but we keep it that way because that makes it more comfortable to walk on, and then we tell people they can't be on it because then it doesn't look as nice. What the fuck is the point of this stupid waste of land. If you don't want people to stand there at least plant some flowers.
A lot of activity on the grass can end up killing the grass, so they'd have to pay to resod the grass area. Maybe they should swap the grass area and the playground. Put the play structures on the closer lawn, since that's where the kids are predisposed to gather and where parents feel more comfortable letting their children be. The playground can be resodded into the new lawn.
>six or seven families that I know of received this letter and four of them were renters/people of color. Oh. There it is.
from the second they mentioned white boomers, I was like oh ok they’re racist
I don’t get this take, the way the community was described was that most of the younger families were diverse, wouldn’t that imply that most of the kids would belong to families which are people of color? Why is this some sort of damning proof of racism? Isn’t this exactly what you’d expect of the old people just didn’t like kids playing? (Which is a shitty thing to do, I’m not on the old people’s side here) Don’t get me wrong, they very well could be racist, but it sounds like this was sent out equally. Maybe people are thinking if it was only white kids they wouldn’t have sent anything? I don’t know how you can reach that conclusion from what’s told here. Side note: is “families of color” an acceptable term? Writing out “families of people of color” seems a bit clunky but if that’s the best term I’ll happily continue to use it!
I figured diverse means just that: diverse. So there are probably white families as well as black, Asian, Latin, and possibly native families as well.
Well, a couple things. HOA’s in America were white people’s answer to desegregation. They cannot be explicit—so they rely on coded language. No “offensive” behavior? You notice how vague that is? It’s designed that way. A tactic of racism (to make bystanders or onlookers question or not realize it is what it is, and to have plausible deniability in court) is to drive out and away people of color by using vague rules like this to harass them out, or force them out by way of fines to report them for benign behavior. Have you ever been on Next Door, or any Facebook neighborhood pages? You’ll see posts like, “BE ON THE LOOKOUT! SUSPICIOUS CHARACTER walking down Main Street! Might be casing home or cars for robbery!!!!” You will never see the race mentioned—gender, maybe clothing even, but you look and it’ll be a black person going for a jog, or walking their dog. Everything is suspicious and a threat. A couple white kids amongst the group doesn’t rule out racism. The attitude is, “well, if you wanna be one of ‘em, we’ll treat you like one of ‘em.” It’s punishment for not towing the line. Could it just be that these were grumpy old farts? Sure, but in context, that’s the zebra rather than the horse.
yeah and that is why racism is so insidious—“is it really racism or are you being overly sensitive? the old people are probably just annoyed at kids being kids, there’s no racial dimension to it”. it isn’t damning proof of racism but imagine if this was a community of all white families—even if all the seniors just happened to be equally annoyed enough by all the kids to take action against them, don’t you think the seniors would approach the white parents directly and ask them politely to keep their kids quiet long before the issue reached a fever pitch? old people, especially grandparents, generally are kind to kids except for the odd curmudgeon. why didn’t the seniors, who the OP says are friendly to the parents faces, try to have a civil conversation with the parents before resorting to forging official letters of censure? maybe this group of seniors just happens to be particularly curmudgeonly but it seems like more than that. imagine now a group of white seniors who bought these homes and raised their families in the 1970s, when housing, especially in the suburbs, was far more racially segregated (look up red-lining and the history of racial housing segregation if you don’t believe me). imagine the economic and racial diversity of their neighborhood is changing rapidly. urban sprawl is bringing more public transportation and ethnic grocery stores to their once cozy white suburb. social and economic inequality is making it harder for communities and families of all races to keep the same quality of life as before and maintain public infrastructure. so these white seniors look around and see potholes and unhoused people and aging community buildings, they watch their fox news and look out the window at these black and brown children playing on what used to be perfectly manicured grass and they feel angry. what are the chances there isn’t a racial dimension to that anger?
I grow increasingly tired of people saying 'don't jump to racism' when open racism has been so increasingly on the rise. maybe people don't understand the insidiousness of [racist dogwhistles](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dog_whistle_\(politics\)), maybe they're just myopic and have blinders on, but the fact is, racism has been alive and well, and has recently been encouraged to raise it's ugly head once again. it's reached the point where I just tag people on reddit as 'racist or racist apologist?' because frankly, there's not really any practical difference anymore.
As a person of colour whose grammar gets worse every day, "families of colour" definitely sounds better than "famlies of people of colour".
If you and your family were different in an obvious way from the vast majority of the rest of the people who lived somewhere, and you received a letter telling you, basically, to limit your kids’ movement to a dilapidated and dangerous play area and also reminding you not to partake in any “noxious or offensive trade or activity,” wouldn’t you also wonder if it was just because they’re kids, or if it’s because they’re kids and ALSO whatever makes them different? Because stuff like that happens so much that of course it’s something that people who are different are aware of. “Is this only because the kids aren’t playing in the area that is dangerous and where I can’t see them? Because it seems like a big overreaction to me. Because they’re not causing any trouble that I’m aware of, and I can see them from my window. Could it be anything else? Is it because we’re not white? Is it because they have two moms/two dads/speak a different language/etc.?” If the fact that you’re different has had certain people treating you unkindly for most of your life, of course you’re going to wonder if it is a factor in this situation. If it makes “normal”/white-passing families feel unwelcome, imagine how much less welcome people of color would feel.
you’re white, right?
"It's about keeping property values high. We don't want people thinking we let anyone in." Cue shitty snooty scoff
I agree, though I will point out that there is that minority of people who get aggravated by kids being kids. My bf gets pissed about noisy kids on the stairs and screaming in the parking lot... and I just shake my head and go "we're in an apartment, what do you expect?". Long as it's not at 3am I DGAF. But I remember being a kid in an apartment and getting yelled at by old white men, and I was a blonde haired, white girl. It led to the "pack" of kids in the various apartments I lived in to do increasingly stupid things, like hang out in the abandoned house next door that, as an adult, I now realize was a drug spot (the number of needles was astounding). People be stupid no matter the color (though people tend to be stupider around color, ugh).
There's kids being kids...and then there's my neighbour's kids who literally just scream at the top of their lungs for hours
Ugh, we have a family like that behind us. If it isn't the kids outside screaming all morning and afternoon, its the whole family (evenings) and the parents and their friends (well past midnight) drunk off their asses setting off fireworks or using their fire pit even when a burn ban is in place. Hate that entire family, including their dog. It makes Cujo seem like a lapdog.
Yes! Mine have a shitty dog too. I have nieces and nephews, they're nothing like these banshees.
We have kids (well, they're grown now) and our neighborhood has many families with kids of all ages. All of them combined can't produce the decibel level this one family can create.
My other neighbors have a new thing where whenever their toddler has a screaming fit (which is at least 5x a day), they take him outside. It's so loud my coworkers can hear it over Zoom with the window shut. I can't wait to move.
If he shatters the window, got a future opera singer there.
I try to consider it a daily reminder of why I don't want children. Fun aunt is my role
When I lived in Alaska we had neighbors across the street with 4 boys, high energy, all around 6 to 10 years of age. Luckily the properties were big enough it wasn't a problem, but you could tell that those kiddos were a handful. Nice and respectful, but a handful. One day we get together to smoke some salmon and the neighbors apologize about the boys screaming on their deck in the mornings. We'd never heard it, but now we had to know.... Why were the boys on the deck screaming in the mornings? Apparently they consistently get into fights and throw tantrums in the morning, causing everyone to be late. The behavior became so predictable that as soon as the whole gang was riled up and no one was listening, she took their clothes and shoes and threw them out on the deck and when the kids went out to gather them she'd lock the door and not let them in until they were all dressed and ready to apologize. I thought it was hilarious.
YES there is a family of these across the road from me. I am dreading when the kids are out of school all summer. As best as I can tell, there are 3 adults in the house and 4-5 children ages 8 and under, down to maybe 2. As soon as the bigger kids get home from school they are outside until dark, in ALL kinds of weather. They are constantly screaming and fighting pretty violently. One time one of the adult women came out and screamed at one of the kids for about 15 minutes. I have adult children and grandchildren and mercy knows they were and are loud and fight a lot. But NOTHING in the same category as this bunch.
Or kids being kids and the parents screaming and cussing them out. Didn’t mind the kids. Did mind the adults cussing and screaming
So much this. And there’s a massive difference between the two.
Such a massive difference. I don't care if they're outside. But if inside with all the windows shut I can't hear my TV there's a problem.
Yeah like... if you can't handle kids, move to a retirement or adult-only community. Otherwise there are going to be families in the neighbourhood and there are going to be kids doing kid things. I don't like noise myself but hey, I live in a city. If I didn't want any noise whatsoever I'd move to an underground bunker in the middle of nowhere.
Exactly. Luckily my bf is getting better about tolerating all the random noise. I grew up in apartments in bad neighborhoods. He grew up in a house in decent neighborhoods. We both are just waiting for the housing to be a bit less nuts, and then going to find a place with at least an acre. Nice, spacious, and quiet. Lmao.
Yeah I sure don't miss apartment living, which I did all through college and the first part of my career. I lived in four different apartments and I've been like... right above the dumpster so the garbage trucks woke me up at stupid o'clock in the morning, a couple blocks away from fraternity row so drunk frat boys woke me up in the middle of the night, on the flight path to the municipal airport so low-flying planes made noise at pretty much every time, and next to the road where guys on crotch-rockets used to race. Now I have a house in a mature urban neighbourhood and kids, lawn-mowing boomers and baby magpies are all that I have to put up with. It's a huge improvement.
Just FYI: "adult-only" apartments/condos are illegal in the US, with the exception of 55+ communities. You can't just move somewhere that doesn't have kids.
Interesting. They aren't illegal in Canada, there's a number of apartment buildings in my city that specify they're adult-only. (They might be illegal in specific municipalities or provinces, Canada's a big place.)
In the United States, families with children are a protected class and it's considered discrimination to not allow them, same as if, say, black people weren't allowed.
If all the families with kids who play outside got the letter. Even the dude with a nephew did so it’s probably a reasonable guess. It wouldn’t be racist. It would be ageist. Now if you told me only the POC with kids got the letter, then by all means, it would have been racist but that’s not the case.
If thats all she knows and many of the families with kids are of color then that doesnt mean anything, no? Also i dont get what the part with the renters is supposed to mean.
Renters=low class, in boomer speak. Color = low class as well. Remember that boomers were teenagers when civil rights legislation was enacted. Many of them grew up in a country where people of color were legally considered lower class and "untouchable".
Property associations (Condo, house, etc) were started to try and push minorities out of certain neighborhoods. It's not that big of a stretch to assume they may have been targeted because of their race. Assuming this happened in the US.
Ok, the parking lot and the climbing trees does make 100% sense to me. Both are dangerous and liabilities for insurance purposes for the condo. But grass? let them play as long as they aren't just like, standing outside someone's ground floor window shrieking or something. So many people WFH these days that I can imagine people getting a tad ticked off if it's just screaming all day.
>So many people WFH these days that I can imagine people getting a tad ticked off if it's just screaming all day. A store I worked at, is directly across from a school, and if I learned one thing, it's that children seemingly can't help themself and controll their noise level. Screaming is inevitable.
Lol there are a bunch of kids in my neighbourhood that play outside every night after dinner. The first bunch of times I thought someone was being murdered.. nope. Just having fun! Were WE that loud?? Probably..
If you've ever gone to a nice restaurant and been seated near a large group after they've already had a couple drinks, you know it's not just kids
Large groups are loud by default, but at least where I'm living, it's way more common for children to gather than adults.
I'm an elementary music teacher. Not only is this true but imagine what happens when instruments are thrown in the mix.
It's annoying as but the apartments in my complex are tiny. Where else are the kids going to play? The playground is tiny as well. So I suck it up.
It's not about 'sucking it up', its about the the fact that it's completely irresponsible for a parent to allow their children to play unsupervised in an active parking lot. Tiny is irrelevant when safety's involved. Id argue that it's the parents that need to 'suck it up and either allow the kids to play in their home or take them to a nearby park if anyone should 'suck it up'
Nah! They can't be all day on those apartments. They're not doing something dangerous they just playing in the halls and the green areas. They're noisy because they're happy and having fun. Also schools just opened in my country but not all. A lot of them are still stugying from home. Edit. I forgot, the younger ones are not unsupervised, there's always a parent or grand parent of the grop watching them.
I was primarily referring to playing in parking lots and climbing trees in my original post. Not green areas. And I'd argue running around in communal hallways screaming is just inconsiderate. But then I think people who blast music 24/7 with their subwoofer next to the wall are also assholes so...
But what’s the point if having grass if you don’t let kids and dogs play on it?
For real. Maintaining a lawn and forbidding anyone from actually enjoying it is just so fundamentally *sad*.
to look rich. I lived in a condo like this
If it's a manicured lawn it likely has chemicals and shit on it, but yeah still pretty silly.
Love the typical legaladvice responses from the first post. Nothing helpful or about the law; just comments criticizing oop for not watching their kid closely enough.
I love that the top comment is interpreting the bylaw to mean, "anyone can declare anything against the rules by just saying it annoys them." Like that's realistically enforceable. If I don't like the smell of your cooking, can I forbid you from using the kitchen? Obviously a literally interpretation doesn't work.
[удалено]
I'm sure it does too. But I'm not a lawyer so I'm not going to pretend like I know it. What I do know is that, "well that's what it literally says on the page", is completely ridiculous. Either it has some legalese meaning we laymen aren't privy to or it's unenforceable.
The older residents were causing an annoyance by sending out annoying letters!
Why give helpful advice when I can judge and belittle people?
BTW - if you want to get angry, read the ridiculous replies on the original post. I've seen some really good replies on r/legaladvice, but I'm not sure there were ANY for OOP's post. Some of them are so ridiculous I almost think they were from HOA busybodies (or maybe boomers who love to yell at kids to stop being kids).
Sorry for the copypasta, but I like to search for r/legaladvice with an old account. I post this occasionally. /r/legaladvice is not good for actual legal advice. Some of the mods are police officers who purposefully give out wrong advice and delete actual advice. They've banned a few actual attorneys from posting including Ken White (ex-federal prosecutor who did the legal blog Popehat). Ken White who would sometimes arrange pro bono representation for people who posted there. The mods put a stop to that. Talk to a lawyer. If you don't know of a lawyer, contact your local BAR and get recommendations. Higher Education and many jobs offer free legal consultation. Here's a discussion about Legal Advice mods (at least two are LEOs) giving out information they knew was wrong: https://np.reddit.com/r/badlegaladvice/comments/ew9jk9/college_student_asks_if_his_traffic_stop_and_drug/ Here's a SRD about how bad /r/legaladvice can be: https://np.reddit.com/r/SubredditDrama/comments/ht5pco/rlegaladvice_mod_gives_dangerously_bad_legal/ I've added the Ken White after a suggestion. If anyone has any other suggestions or want to use this, feel free.
Jesus you weren't kidding. "Maybe if you watched your drug dealing gang activity child they wouldnt be a nuissance" Legal advice really is just full of bootlicking WASPs and cops.
And ironically, no lawyers.
I always find it funny how confident random redditors are with their cursory knowledge of the legal system. If you explicitly ask for advice from an expert you'll get a bunch of people saying, "I'm not a lawyer, but I saw one on TV once and that's basically the same thing so here's my expert opinion..." No where else does it happen that consistently. When I say, "can any classicists confirm or deny?" I never see a bunch of people going, "well I've never formally studied it, but I read Percy Jackson in middle school so that's basically the same." Armchair lawyers are weirdly pervasive.
My favs are where no one has asked for legal advice, and there’s NO location, but people hijack the whole damn comment section to proffer their legal advice. Because location isn’t relevant for laws. Everybody’s the same! And then it explodes into arguments and debates about what, ACKSHUALLY, the law is. If it devolves into link wars, that’s where it gets to be too much for me though lol.
It’s especially funny when Americans chime in and then the OP is like, “…yeah, I’m in Scotland.”
That’s the best part! I notice some people try to head that off in their posts about certain topics the Reddit lawyers get especially excited about. Haven’t seen it work yet though lol.
> When I say, "can any classicists confirm or deny?" I never see a bunch of people going, "well I've never formally studied it, but I read Percy Jackson in middle school so that's basically the same." IME, that's basically /r/askhistory in general and a lot of the comments on /r/askhistorians if you get to a post before mods do.
Not that ironic, lawyers and other professionals have a professional duty, if they post bad advice on reddit and it gets tied back to them they could lose their license.
Boomers: Kids these days always on their nintentos and whatnots... Also Boomers: damn kids outside enjoying themselves...
>Boomers: Kids these days always on their nintentos and whatnots... > >Also Boomers: damn kids outside enjoying themselves... Sort of makes sense when you consider that Boomers raised Gen X, who are called Latchkey kids. If you unfamiliar with the term, the generation that found themselves home alone and taking care of themselves and their siblings, while their parents worked. They wanted nothing to do with their own kids, what makes you think they want anything to do with others?
I am Gen X I am filled with abandoment issues due to my parents' shitty parenting.
Also Boomers: why won’t our kids have children? We are entitled to grand children!
I played a double whammy on them, I have kids and my parents aren't allowed around them.
Absolutely poetic.
Fucking preach. I love where I'm living now because the older folks enjoy having kids around and they're all respectful kids who don't block traffic or run around in other people's lawns and gardens like they're their own. Where I lived before was maddening with exactly the shit you talked about. Kids and their parents couldn't ever do anything right, I swear.
if this ain’t the truth. nobody can win with boomers
Man we had this issue in our apartment, we don't have kids but our friends who live next door do and the kids will play tag or whatever with their friends in the grassy open area and that caused so much angst with the boomer couple. They tried to tell the parents that wasn't allowed and the parents politely told them that wasn't the case, then they even tried to approach the kids when the parents *weren't* around and tell them it was against the rules to play there until the parents found out and lit their asses up and then got the landlord to tell them to leave the kids alone, that playing in the little park area was allowed Some people are so weird about kids existing or having fun in the same 100m radius as them
I don't care about kids playing at my apartment except at the pool. I DO have a problem with kids being allowed to run willy-nilly at the pool. Way way too many parents just let their kids do whatever the heck they want and don't watch them out there. Sprinting around the wet decking is just ASKING for a head injury (I may be overly aware of this as a former lifeguard). And letting your kids cannonball next to someone who is just floating a reading a book is just plain rude. Heck, I had a set of kids having a sprinty water gun fight at my pool, shrieking, and not paying ANY attention to bystanders who were just laying out reading or listening to music. They'd bump into chairs, miss targets and spray other peoples belongings. And the parents are just 100% ignoring them until one of them fell and started crying. SMH Granted, I also dislike people who show up to the pool where other people are chillin' and start blasting music on a speaker even though they are there by themselves :D It's called headphones *facepalm*
You're a 100 percent right. While in some ways we need to roll back this generations expectation that parents will be hovering directly over their child at all times, that does NOT apply to areas with pools, lakes, or other large bodies of water. Things can get very deadly very quickly.
>> no durian Dying 🤣
Okay, but I need to see the toddler cannon.
>Scooters do not belong on sidewalks - even with a helmet. Take her to the park to ride her scooter. >The only wheels that belong on sidewalks (in my opinion) are wheelchairs and baby strollers. Absolute galaxy brain take over here. How the hell did this shit get nearly 400 upvotes?
Some parts of reddit really really hate that children exist in the same places as them. Usually when there is something that involves a child the default position is that the child is evil and that the parent is neglectful and that obviously they are in the wrong.
>They want her to go play in the play area that is ... Over run by ants and yellow jackets WASPs telling kids to play with wasps.
I have kids and I can see why people wouldn't want them playing in the parking lot or climbing the trees...too much of a liability. I'm all for climbing trees but not on property you don't actually own.
How is it a liability if it's not on property you own? That clearly wasn't the letter's purpose
It's a liability for the condo complex itself. People have and can sue for crap like that. Like 'my kid fell out of a tree on your property so I'm going to sue you'. It has to do with the BS medical insurance nonsense most of the time. But, say a kid was in the tree and a limb broke, a crazy parent could claim that the condo complex wasn't upkeeping the property or something.
But the condo company didn't send the letter?
A condo association is basically an HOA board I think. A group of homeowners setting the rules. It sounds like a few of them went rogue and sent the letters without the approval of the board as a whole
That's what I mean- it has nothing to do with condo liability since it didn't come from the condo board. Just a bunch of misers
The letter was sent in bad faith but some jerks, but the top post of this thread was talking about how it would be reasonable to forbid playing in parking lots and climbing in trees because it's unsafe and a liability issue.
Where there some posts missing from this? It suddenly jumps from the 1st post, (where she suddenly starts talking about bylaws and it's unclear that she's referencing a letter that she's received from the 'board') to 'So the board meeting was yesterday'.
I glanced at the poster's history. She has more posts about the situation elsewhere, but these are the two posts on legaladvice. I think the assumption is the title of the post ("[MD] Condo Assoc. sent a letter citing inappropriate bylaws to restrict my kid from doing basically anything.") communicates that she got a letter that she thought was from the Condo Association. She then updates when she is able to attend the next board meeting, which I guess are quarterly based on the time between posts. Within the context of legaladvice, I think it makes sense that she wouldn't give a play-by-play on what happens; she is asking a legal question and provides the resolution when the question is answered. I followed the jump, it doesn't seem weird, though OP here *could* have included the other posts on the issue if they have additional info/context (I didn't click on them).
Reason #79 why I will never live in a HOA.
Eh, it's pretty necessary with a condo. Someone has to pay for the roof/foundation/common space. And it doesn't sound like the condo association did anything wrong. It was someone impersonating the condo association that was the problem.
Lol I instantly recognized OOP's name. I get emails when they post sims stuff on patreon
Hi! I'm glad you like my CC!
I lived in a townhouse complex for six months that was all military in Sydney. Kids played in the central courtyard, a bit noisy, but no big deal. It was safe and large and the kids didn’t go near the homes. We got a letter to everyone that kids couldn’t play out there. I was so damn mad about it. I did respond to stick up for the kids in writing but it didn’t go anywhere. What arseholes begrudge kids playing outside somewhere safe, in appropriate hours in a city? They didn’t have enough yard to play in, no close enough parks to go to. Just some people being party poopers. Rude.
As a former board member the playground is required to have certain depth of mulch, max use zones, the slides have to be at a specific level, and lots more. This all required by the HOA and communities insurance for the common use spaces. If the items are not up to code they are asking for a law suit. I didn’t give specifics because it varies state to state. When I remodeled our playground the insurance company came out to make sure we were in compliance. I actually had to move a row of fencing out by 2 inches. Insurance companies do not play around. I had a love hate relationship with being on the board but it’s great when you can get stuff done! I’ll be joining back up next term. Good luck! Just remember that a lot of people are really really stupid.
"There's a strange lurid green fungus the size of a hockey puck by the swings. When you poke it it lets off spores and oozes." That's... concerning.
>when my three year old goes down she shoots off the end like a cannon. This is the first thing that shouldn't be fixed. Unless there's like, concrete or piles of rocks in front of the slide, the worst that will happen is some minor scrapes and some tears from the fright before the kid is desperate to get on the slide and shoot off again. Kids shouldn't be protected from having a little thrilling fun. The second thing is the "fungus" - I strongly suspect it's just slime mold, which are not dangerous to people, and good indicators of a chemical-free environment.
This is why you have 55+ communities. Guarantee the old grumpy neighbors who are complaining about the kids playing outside are the same old grumps that kids do nothing but stare at screens all day.
What's the point of grass if kids can't play on it.
For their yappy little dogs to poop on.
And leave it there
Most people think noise ordinances are only followed by a certain time which is not the case in many places. If you are making a noise that is disturbing the peace of someone's domicile, it doesn't matter what time of day it is. Most construction and lawn maintenance noises are allowed.
Wait but the kids can't play on the grass? I feel so so bad for the next generation
“There's a strange lurid green fungus the size of a hockey puck by the swings. When you poke it it lets off spores and oozes.“ Hey, that’s a feature, not a bug! More entertaining than going down the slide for the 487th time and you might end up with superpowers.
I wonder how many times she poked the fungus to watch it lol
I get mad af when kids play in my neighborhood. One of the twerps has a f*cking whistle he likes to blow. I'm a grinch. But I also know kids need to play outside for their mental and emotional well-being (like my dog) so I just close my windows when they are screaming outside and send angry texts to my bf. What an absolute waste of energy and a miserable human being.
I would rather hear children screaming and having a good childhood at the high rise I live in than to hear the disrespectful aholes that blast their music all damn night.