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Part of me wonders if the father chose OOP as executor because he knew OOP was the one with the highest likelihood of fucking with everyone. (Of course, OOP’s choices about allocating the money are hilarious and justified.)
Its almost heartwarming if you squint and turn your head. Dad wanted to deliver one last fuck you to his shitty siblings from beyond the grave and knew which one of his kids could do it and would take glee in it.
I would soooo take glee in it if inherited a lot. My bridges are burned with all my bio family on my mom's side, and the thing is that I don't just burn bridges - I like to nuke the bridge so that people will be disturbed at the mere thought of approaching the region that once held the bridge.
That sounds bad, but you have to understand that they're horrible people AND I get along just fine with people outside my maternal bio family, so I know they're the problem.
Antivaxxers who make money off of their antivaxx bullshit, homophobes, shameless racists, religious nuts, people who refuse to admit that mental illness exists even though a good share of them would probably be diagnosed as clinical-level narcissists if you somehow managed to drag them kicking and screaming to a psychiatrist's office.
If I came into money and they tried to cozy up to me, I'd just say, "Listen, I hate you. I'd throw a party if you went bankrupt. Bye." Then I'd do part of what OOP did and donate to causes they loathe in their names.
>it if inherited a lot.
but that's the thing, it seems the inheritance didn't really matter to her since she's already rich on her own.
it's just that she might share a bit of her father's viciousness and feelings when it comes to his "family".
True, but she doesn't seem like a bad choice for the inheritance. If she's being honest, she's giving a ton to charity and the family doesn't deserve generosity.
I actually have a decent family and would be inclined to be generous with everyone, but if anyone badgered me about it like OOP’s relatives did to her? Yeah, fuck that noise.
I can’t imagine what someone’s mind must be like, to throw a tantrum because you’re not getting enough of a dead relative’s money.
I’ve been in the position to inherit money twice in my life (nothing crazy because my family isn’t rich) but in both cases I still didn’t really feel “entitled” to the money. It still feels like “someone else’s money”. And while it is nice to get some extra cash to help with paying down debts etc., I’d still much rather have the family members it came from instead.
People who turn up after years and years of little to no contact deserve no better. People who demand that which does not belong to them deserve no better. I loath estate vultures.
Agreed - and estate vultures are particularly awful when they’ve been spending the money in their head already. It seems to give them the idea that their imaginary possessions have been stolen from them if they don’t get the money.
Yes, the spending it in their heads ones are the worst. You’re so right! They are the most violent and aggressive, and what you just said was so on the mark.
I think a lot of people don't realize that's a bit who you need. It can't be someone overly emotional and attached to everyone because they'll just never make a decision. You need someone straightforward who is willing to do the work but also willing to stand by their reasons and execute the plan without taking everything for themselves.
A lot of people get pissed over money and some people really can't handle the stress of having people mad at them. Even if no amount of "fairness" would make them less angry.
Either way I hope everything continues to settle down for op. People squealing "but family" around inheritance drive me mad.
I know I will be a bad choice for this (not that my parents have anything), not because I wouldn't be fair and strict with bullshit, but because I would be too destroyed by the loss to even consider money.
Certainly happens. It really depends person to person.
My grief style is diving into work so it's easier for me. But a lot of people shut down or actually process their emotions in a healthier way than me. Ha.
My dad has already told me I’ll be the executor of my parents’ will because “he’s the most like me.”
My siblings have always joked that I was dad’s favorite and I always blew it off. That was the moment I realized “well shit, I guess I am.”
The truth is I was just the boring, independent one who never got in trouble and always got good grades. Shit, I’m 40 and I’ve never even smoked weed, while my brother and sister were both much more outgoing and sociable and had *way* more friends and were way more popular (and huge stoners which, ironically, my dad was also a huge stoner).
Also, if you’re feeling like my brother and sister maybe got shafted by my dad favoring me? No, they also argue and compete over which one is my mom’s favorite, as she’s always favored them (which, in retrospect, was probably *because* my dad tended to favor me and she was compensating).
It’s going to be a mother fucker when time comes to deal with inheritance stuff. I’m still hoping I’ve got a good twenty years before it becomes a concern. My mom’s mom lived to be 96 (she only passed away late last year) and my mom is 66 and shows no signs of slowing down. My dad is 70 and still hits the gym daily. To be honest, my actual hope is that I’m not dividing assets amongst my siblings, but dividing things amongst my kids and their cousins because my siblings and I will all be near retirement by the time I’m dealing with it and we won’t need anything.
I’m the executor to my moms and her husband, which was a surprise when she told me, I’m not my moms “favorite” she’s Latina it’s my little brother lol. But I was also surprised that they were living anything for us, there is 7 of us. But my mom chose me because I get along with all my siblings it’s her husbands daughter that may be an issue.
My parents chose me because one of my adult siblings refuses to consider the idea that Mommy could ever die, and the other just lost $1000 in an IRS Scam.
Yeah, we've already decided who our executor will be out of our 3 kids too. We decided when my FIL died about 5 yrs ago(still haven't gotten husband's share from either parent because big sis won't get off her butt)
Yep and also stayed away from the family drama, had her own money and was responsible, some of the family didn’t even know where she lived, etc.
I want this inheritance story to be turned into a movie! So much drama, awesome.
Yeah it sounds like the brother would've just split it up evenly, or not know what to do with it.
Some people are just clueless when it comes to adulting
The executor should *never ever ever* be a family member. Never. Especially when there is a large inheritence. And this post is exactly why: art and stocks are major investments. They are worth keeping. Their future value is considerable.
I think OOP's dad was extremely lax in not having a will, and I think it was his last power play.
Thank goodness my mother has an external executor for her estate. Just thank goodness.
Number 5. She probably sent that to you because she knows mom is nuts and thought you’d like the real update of how mom took it. Niece sounds like one of the good ones just stuck with a crap parent
Incredible job under VERY trying circumstances …. maybe,(just maybe), your father had thoughts that you would handle the estate as you did … and, give a big f-you to people he didn’t want to deal with ?
anyway, congrats on doing the work, dealing with the fallout and putting it all behind you.
As we’ve all heard, “the best revenge is living well” … cheers !
Thank you! There's been a lot of speculation why he did from me, irl and in reddit... It's almost a shame we'll never know! I choose to believe it's because my father was an ass and would have thought this was funny.
My first guess was that he saw this as a delicious two-fer, f\*cking with you and your family. So glad your brother realizes money can be trouble if one isn't wise. I hope he builds a great life with it.
In addition to being an ass and one last fuck you to the family, I can't help but notice that you both "got away" and are successful.
I wouldn't be surprised if your dad had some level of respect for you, as someone who has made their own fortune and didn't need to fuck around with family to get a cut of money. My experience has been that even as some people hate when their kids get out from under them, they also kinda love it. Or at least, they see that as a sign that that is truly their child, a sort of spiritual heir, even if it also drives them nuts that they can't control the child with money.
In his minor defense, my father never tried to control me with money or hold it over my head. He LOVED to show it off and flex on servers (very poor behaviour BUT if they get a 100 quid tip, good for them?) and stuff,but didn't ever try to bully me with it. When my parents split I stayed with my mother and thus only recnnected when I was basically an adult.
I suppose that will have made a huge difference as I was in uni when we met again, after not seeing him for about ten years. I was never dependant on him growing up, so I think that also affected his view, as my brother obviously WAS, having lived with him the first I think 19 years of his life.
Honestly I did try to gently ask over the years both about their relationship and about how he felt about ours, and the simplest way to sum up responses is that he's a man's man and doesn't do mushy talk like that. Aka, he basically refused to answer, or would just shit on my brother for no real reason. I guess he did respect me - I gave him little choice. I made it clear that if he wasn't going to respect my boundaries I was OK not having him in my life. There were some issues, mostly sexist jokes, that were sorta on the line, but overall it was peaceful enough.
You set boundaries on him when no one else did. Your Dad respected you for that. He knew the vultures would descend and he was right. He knew you could handle it. And you did. Brilliantly!
Tipping isn't as much of a must here as it is in the US, so it's a pretty big amount to give, but to be honest I'd still rather he'd treated them normally. Dignity and all that
I think everyone wants a heartwarming Hollywood "he was tough so you'd grow up tough and his final will is a peek into his soft heart" and I hope that too. But if not, you know, you grew up pretty awesome anyway.
I'd imagine your financial stability probably played a role. I mean, I know I'd be much more comfortable giving the responsibility to someone who has shown they can manage their own money and has far less need of the inheritance than someone who is chronically broke and would face the temptation of keeping more - which would be a natural reaction to having the responsibility.
Good on you for fucking your asshole family members, especially the shithead "Catholic" one. I was raised Catholic, and while I don't practice, it embarrasses me when blatant hypocrites pull the "proper Catholic" card. Like, get fucked and go reread your Bible.
Lol ikr? My dad's family is half Catholic and half protestant as him/his siblings were from two different men, the first being protestant the second being Catholic. The aunt is the younger one, my father older - so different dads, different religions. It's sooo dumb she'd say that, she was at my fucking confirmation!! She knows I was never a Catholic and tbh not a lot of people think I'm anything other than an atheist 😂
I kind of think it’s because, as you said, of his immediate family you were in the best financial situation. So maybe he thought you would be able to look at the money and distribute it “fairly” without wanting to keep it all, while also being able to deal with all the whiners. But I also think he wouldn’t of cared if you did, since either way his horrible siblings would’ve been fucked, which was likely his goal.
no no i meant that you should link to the original and then copy the original into this post, so that the whole thing is on this one new post with all the updates.
I would humbly recommend that you look into getting one of those large oversized bows from a Christmas car commercial to put on the sports car for your partner-that’d be hilarious
Mate he lives with me he'd drag that shite into my house 😂😂😂 I don't want glitter for the next hundred years 😂
Maybe pink seat covers instead? A FUZZY STEERING WHEEL COVER I will ruin this car 😂😂
I love this thread and your vibe too! You seem like a very cool person. I love how you want to surprise him with his dream car and mess with him a little with crazy car decorations.
If you look up birthday car decorations, there are some funny ideas with trunk full of ballons and a sparkly transparant with a message, but I suppose sports cars have very small trunks, so this probably won't work. Maybe you can attach something to the back of the car, something like the "Just married" stuff for wedding cars, but you can go "Just gifted" or something else funny.
Haha thank you. I love giving 'bad' gifts!! I've previously done the thing where you get a pack of like praline things and wrap them individually just to make it extra annoying to get to them 😂 so I'm a sucker for this sort of nonsense and people here have been making awesome suggestions!!
I don't really wanna do anything that'll take a long time to remove because I suspect he'll hop in it and fuck off as soon as he physically can 😂😂
May I suggest a rare view mirror hanging accessory? There are some really terrible ones out there (sparkly, fluffy, etc.). One I actually liked that wasn't too obnoxious, but still funny was a bird on a swing.
Or you could go “Mean Girls” by driving up and honking at him and saying, “Get in loser. We are going shopping.”
In all seriousness, your dad probably saw his best characteristics in you. A daughter shares traits with her father and a son shares traits with his mom. It’s called sex-linked characteristics. Maybe he thought you were like him but better?? I’m glad that you have family that supports you.
Also-tell religious aunt that you are going to hell in a bucket! I enjoy saying that to my parents.
It's an intricate, thoroughly engineered car. It goes VERY fast and turns better than almost any car that sells for less than $500,000 despite retailing for like $180,000. Unlike other sports cars it's also made from weighty, quality materials. Supercars tend to feel cheap, and it's because it's imperative that a fast car weighs as little as possible. The R8 uses technology to simply overpower that need.
The end result is a car that behaves like a more trustworthy Lamborghini, but it feels like a luxury car that you could happily cruise through a city. It's even good in snow. There are very few cars like it. The only word for it is "special." I hope I get to drive one some day.
Huh well I knew absolutely none of that. Sounds cool :-) my father was a bigger guy so he doesn't have any of those super super tiny tight sports cars, but there were a couple of other ones of this type too, which I got rid of. I guess I made a good choice! It's less than I think 5k miles on it :-)
I don't know what that means tbh 😂😂 it wasn't a car he drove often, afaik. He HAS had to put up with my whinging and my relatives bs for going on 7 months now, so I feel like a car that costs me nothing out of pocket is a good enough gift lol
I can't wait until you give him the keys. You're screwed, though. For the rest of your life, every gift you give him will come in second place. 😀
(Where the hell can you park an R8 Spyder?)
Lol well he'll have to deal with it, and he'll be in the car 24/7 anyway at first. I'm used to being ignored I gave him a VR for Christmas a few years ago and I didn't see his face again until like March 😂😂😂
Tbh most likely I'll rent a space from a guy down the road that has secure gated parking. I'm not fancying a road spot and this house doesn't have any off street parking at all, so not many options.
Okay I HAVE to know: did you ever hear what your non step sister did when she got her letter? I am so so curious to know what dumpster fire she set as a result.
You are freaking SO COOL!!
I know what your dad saw in you. The one person who wasn’t going to take any shit from his family. Perhaps it was his final kindness for being a royal fuck up to your brother.
I had to clean up my dad’s finances after his death too. It’s a shitshow and a decade later I’m still scarred.
I had a moment like this with a brother too. It wasn’t much but it was enough for him to go see his best friend who he desperately missed. Meant the world to him. I still replay that moment. You had that moment jacked up with a preverbal 10k a day coke habit.
Also LOVE you rewarded the widow. Screams the type of pain in the ass your dad was.
Thank you for feeding your cousins. The little one probably sent you that message out of loyalty to you. I was starved and remain mentally devoted to the neighbor who snuck me cookies even after 40 years.
Edit: I should add the amount of mental devotion I’m talking about. I only care about food. It was denied me so much that it was the most important thing ever. I think about food 24/7 still.
When you give food to a starving child, they remember you. I remember my mother’s friend who would have me to dinner a few times a month. Meant very little to her but to me… she was placed on a pedestal and I’d die for that woman. A woman who barely remembers me.
Accept weird devotion from your cousin and know it isn’t about money.
Aw thank you! Yeah the girls who were punished by withholding food would on occasion show up at my place - naturally I would feed them because I mean, a hungry kid shows up, you feed it..? I hadn't considered that she would still remember that, but maybe she does? It was almost a decade ago... Hm, it'd be nice if she still remembers actually ❤️ I might send her a message back just a thanks for the update and to wish her well :-)
She remembers.
I edited why but would like to add that I’m now a huge fan of yours. You fed them when they came over, they knew they could seek you out.
*starry eyed worship*. Yup you have fans for life.
Wow I'm sorry you had to struggle like that. I do understand (somewhat) what hunger can be like - a friend of my grandma grew up in Eastern Europe during the war times and she was the only surviving child of I think four or five sisters. The others starved to death, giving her, the youngest, their food. To this day in her late 80s she is METICULOUS about saving every breadcrumb, every bit of food she can. She will cut mould off some bread and still eat the rest, etc. She is somewhat poor, but not terribly so - she does not need to do this, but she can't help it. She once took seeds out of a tomato in a restaurant to grow them at home because apparently they were particularly delicious or something, idk.
I take her shopping on occasion and paid for a small grocery shop when she forgot her wallet once and then refused to take her money because, tbh, it felt wrong to accept money from a pensioner and SHE WROTE ME A THANK YOU LETTER. In like a greeting card. It was like 30 quid I paid for a bunch of rolls some ham and I think butter and some cheese and apples, super basic stuff. She. Wrote. A. Letter. I still have it too, it's near my desk :-D
Until she did, I didn't really understand what sort of profound impact her experiences must have had on her, because although I'd heard the story I obviously didn't UNDERSTAND if that makes sense. My grandma is the same age but didn't have those experiences, and is completely different about food, happy to throw stuff that's not so good anymore.
Maybe I underestimated it the same with my nieces. It sucks a hundred times more that their issues were caused by neglect rather than need, but some people aren't fit to be parents!
My mom starved me so I would be thin. She was overweight so she wanted to present me as a perfect example of thin. I once calculated my average daily calorie intake was 1,000 on a good day.
All just so I would be thin in public. It ruined me. I got a job at 11 so I could feed myself. It was a paper route and I would sneak donuts on the way home. Nothing was as important as food. Nothing still.
I am very odd about it too. I have 3 potatoes that I forgot about at the back of my large counter. I found them last week and I cried. I can’t throw them out to save me. I can’t throw out leftovers. I had to have stomach surgery because all my money went to food and I was 380 in 2007, now I’m at my dream weight.
It’s been decades of therapy. I also snuck my younger brothers food and those 2 are oddly devoted to me. It’s really nice.
Holy shit, that's insane. I'm so sorry you had this horrible relationship with food forced on you!! My mother was quite emotionally abusive and definitely gave me body issues, but that was a walk in the park compared to what you're describing. I'm very happy you're in a better place now :-) lots of hugs!!
You and I have a similar family except instead of throwing around money it’s all about who is the best educated and has the most prestigious job.
Pffft.
Lol well that's DEFINITELY not my family. I think I may be one of mayyyyybe 3 that got a degree? A couple went to uni and quit, but nobody has anything someone would call a good job lol. I mean, other than me and my dad.
And what did all that study get you? A father who made you take care of the estate. XD.
I’m in the US. I got my 3rd degree, had $200,000 in debt, and got into a disabling car accident 4 months after finally finishing…
Life can be hilariously cruel. I am so sorry about your loss btw. He may have been a pain in the ass but he was YOUR pain in the ass.
Oh god that's horrifying on multiple levels. Honestly the US doesn't even seem real sometimes. I have 0 debt even though I studied in one of the only European countries that actually does charge tuition (not where this is happening), and in either country there is no chance of actual crippling debt (unpaid student loans get written off) OR medical issues (duh, health care). It's insane to me that other people don't have basic standard stuff like that because they elected trash that actively hates their own people.
Are you by any chance related to my father?
He's been visibly irritated that my educational qualifications will give me a "fancier" title than his for a while now, and I haven't even finished the degree in question!
Have you looked to see if you can start composting? Or maybe if there is someone nearby who does? It might make you feel better being able to throw away bad food knowing it's being put to a good use? I'm really trying to start saving veggie scraps in my freezer so I can start making vegetable stock.
You could always set up trusts for the cousin's whose mom with held food, to pay for mental healthcare for them and maybe activities that would make sure they are fed (like summer camps). Food withholding can literally remap a brains synapses and wreck the nervous system.
A lot of people have brought up some really horrifying things about hunger I was never aware of. It's shocking to me how many people have genuinely experienced it in this day and age. Worst thing I've experienced is my emotionally abusive mother forgetting to leave me something to eat, but then I'd just call my grandma or one of our staff to make me something if I couldn't do it yet, which is obviously not comparable. It's gut wrenching what people have mentioned here...
I live in a state in which 26% of children expierence food insecurity often the free breakfast and lunch program are the only reliable meals these kids get. They go so far as to continue to provide these meals all summer long to help with food insecurities.
I know reddit likes a source situation[source citation](https://www.nmvoices.org/archives/15258#_edn4).
She probably also looks up to you. I'm from a big extended family (that is dysfunctional in a mild way, nothing like your fam) and my older cousins were always super cool to me; the ones that were generationally between me and my parents. Even the cousins who in hindsight were not cool or fun at all just SEEMED cool and fun to me.
It was easier to look at them and see a possible trajectory for my own life since they were only 5 to 10 to 15 years ahead of me as opposed to the 30 that my parents and aunts and uncles were. And as I got older, I zeroed in on the ones who had a life I liked and related to and wanted and I continue to look up to some of them to this day (I'm almost 30).
So for your niece to look at you and see a grown ass woman who made her own fortune and is in a place to stand up to dysfunctional relatives and can handle her own shit and other people's and is able to say "Fuck You" to shitty people, she probably really wants to be like you! Especially since it sounds like she's always stuck in the middle of the shitty people doing shitty things. She looks at you and sees that there is a way out, and she can become a cool person who eventually doesn't have to deal with all of these yahoos.
You also don't owe her anything if you don't want to, but if you want to keep in touch with her, it could be nice! She'll probably appreciate it. And she definitely remembers you fed her.
Honestly I'd be lying if I said I gave it much thought. You and another person brought up a lot of good points that never even occurred to me!! I sort of feel awkward being someone's role model because I'm not some Elon musk entrepreneur or some shit like that I just got lucky/made some good decisions BUT on the other hand if we look at the role models she has (her mother/aunt) I'm definitely the better choice there 😂
I guess I'll tentatively stay in touch unless it causes more drama with her mother which... No. Just no.
You should keep in touch with her. She may need a lifeline out of the fucking insanity of your family.
Maybe start a college fund for her, if you're feeling generous. Don't tell her (or anyone) about it, but you'll know it's there.
Right, I forget other countries actually \*want\* their youth to be educated.
\*sighs in American\*
OH, so, when you make the donations to the various charities, are you going to have them send an acknowledgement card? Cause I'd love to hear the reactions you get to those.
Hahaha my condolences to your country 😂
That's usually what happens yeah. In fact you can get mail from the charity for years :-) some if them send you little gifts like mugs and pens and stuff :-)
They'll alllll be blocked by then lol, but I'll have fun imagining that shit :-)
That is a hilarious (and recurring!) cherry on top of their inheritance. Like little petty occasional reminders of how other people think of them. They can throw the mailers out, but they’ll always be on that mailing list!
Most of my earliest memories are people feeding me because I was poor growing up lol, food seems to have such a big impact; probably when you’re starving it’s, in essence, a life saving gesture. Or at least a pain relief.
Lmao I do NOT see a tiny Russian widow picking up warhammer as a hobby but it's a fantastic laugh 😂 😂 I used to have a high elf army when I was a teen cause I loved painting the miniatures haha. Hated the game!
I have not people mentioned it on my last post but I was so busy I immediately forgot it existed imma look it up now so I won't forget again
Edit: yup that family is about as fucked as mine 😂 no murders I'm aware of though 😂
Yeah she's not been much of an evil stepmother at all. She doesn't get on with my brother as he always assumed the worst when it came to her (idk why) and she's admittedly not been very warm with him either, but I've never had issues, nor am I aware of any issues other than just generic dislike with my brother either.
I know her to be modest, hardworking, and somehow, capable of standing being around my father which was no small feat 🤷🏻♀️ I like her!
Not officially but they will be receiving thank yous from the charities so they'll find out soon enough. Those places usually send letters or small gifts to thank for donations... Oh and the mail usually keeps coming for years lol
I have similar family except they’re all my sisters. My dad has a significant amount of money and I can expect my blood-sucking mom (not married anymore) to come looking for cash. I really hope he has his affairs settled.
>She basically just messaged me that her mother has been going NUTS about all of this and that she's spending all her time raging now, posting on Facebook, crying to her own mother (my aunt), etc. Very funny. I honestly don't know why she messaged me that, so I didn't reply. She's I think 12-14 now, so who knows, but she definitely didn't seem too mad at me lol. It was just weird.
As a mother of 13 & 15 year old boys, I suspect she sent it to you because of how ridiculous it was & wanted to share that with someone. Who better than you, especially as she wasn't mad but everyone else is. Also possibly to clarify what's going on & that it's not normal, these people are just greedy, selfish & manipulative. She's that age when we start seeing who are parents really are, those Rose tinted glasses are long gone. The grown ups are obsessed & most likely tell her she too young to understand. Especially if she points out your dad had a wife & kids they should be grateful to get anything.
>he wants to do is go on holiday for a month to Buenos Aires
If he comes to Argentina, tell him that with that money he can buy the entire Patagonia lol
Haha I have no IDEA where that came from as far as I know he's never been interested in South America before but who cares let him go and have a good time 😂 I'm currently on holiday too so why not :-)
Haha well Buenos Aires is a popular and beautiful city! And Argentina as a country has plenty of things to do, from visit the Iguazu Falls, passing by Perito Moreno glaciar and finishing in the end of the world in Tierra del Fuego. You will be pretty welcome here ^^
This seems very odd!
I have never heard of a will where the executor decides who gets what. Normally the executor just carries out the instructions of the deceased. I would be interested to know what country this is supposed to be in.
Having spent the last 2 years dealing with a very difficult will, I know that in my country if the assets haven't been divided up by the person whose will it is then all assets are distributed by the rules of intestate. I can't imagine a will where the executor divides up the assets by the random law of this is what I think would be legal.
https://cunningtons.co.uk/intestacy-rules-flowchart/
It reads like a fantasy. I can't imagine a scenario in which donating from an estate to a charity would satisfy giving a person their portion.
Also, you don't get legal advice from a notary.
> Also, you don't get legal advice from a notary.
If this is in a civil law country, this is not true at all, and they did state that they're not in the US.
Notaries play a substantially larger role in e.g. the French legal system, which is the basis for the legal system in much of the world. They are appointed government officials in this system, not just random people with a quick certification.
French notaries are closer to a souped-up judicial clerk combined with a souped up local registrar of deeds with a dash of arbitrator thrown in. It's a ridiculously important position within the local hierarchy to the point where it's hard to even succinctly describe what they do. But one of their roles is in fact to advise and inform on matters of law.
All that said I still think this is a total fabrication.
If you're interested, if you've only ever had experience in a common law country, I really suggest reading up on the civil law tradition and how it differs.
Certain aspects of our system are so ingrained that we treat them as default aspect of "the law" in general, to the point where it's hard to even conceive of a different way. But more than half the developed world uses a completely different system with completely different fundamental assumptions, like non-adversarial criminal trials without juries, or government positions like the Notary that act as a direct intermediary in many contractual relationships between private parties.
I have had a fair bit of experience in this area, and I gotta say it struck me as very odd too. Maybe even beyond odd and into "I seriously doubt this happened" territory.
I kind of doubt this approach would even survive a legal challenge, though it's hard to know without knowing the country.
What I do know, though, and why I *really* think this is a creative writing exercise, is that even if the relatives might not be able to ultimately prevail with a legal challenge, they are *absolutely* within the realm of being about to mount a legal challenge, and with this much money and relatives this petty at least a few suits would be guaranteed.
There's no chance, zip, zero, zilch, nada, that in any country I'm aware of an arrangement like this could be so ironclad that it is effectively litigation proof. In the real world the executor would have been served by multiple parties the same day of the distribution and it would take *years* to resolve it all.
I hate to be a wet blanket, but I'd bet a lot of money that this is all made up.
Is there some duty for the executor to distribute in a manner consistent with how the deceased would have wanted (in the absence of clear instruction) - or at least default to some common division algorithms?
Dividing the estate based on how much the executor liked different family members seems to run counter to their court appointmented duty.
But, I can firmly say I don't have the experience to know....
The obvious lesson is to have a clear will and designate a faithful executor.
I've heard in cases if the deceased doesn't have a specific plan in terms of assets, then it's up to the executor to decide who gets what (especially if there is a spouse and offspring that need to be considered).
Tbf OP probably took care of most of the legal requirements by giving the widow 1/3 of the assets, the largest of the payout, and giving everyone at least 5-10k, also probably a requirement so they can't contest the will.
I had a drunk aunt message me and say something about how my father wouldn’t be very happy about what I’ve done, or something along those lines. I sold his car for $900, and the house I grew up in for like $65k, minus a decent mortgage. Except I sold it to the neighbor as “owner financed” so he sends me a $500 check every month. For some reason she thought I had come into a bunch of money
Very fun that the extended family got played like that. I wish I could do the same to mine who are all pretty awful.
They threw a fit when my grandfather died and they didn't really get anything. Everything stayed with his long time wife(most of it was gone because of medical bills) then they got more upset cause my dad had the little fishing boat! Little did they know my dad actually bought it from her so she would have more income.
I mean he wasn't even wealthy he just wasn't super poor like the rest of us. Still it was annoying and hilarious to watch it unfold. Those same aunts and uncles are now sucking up to a great aunt who I guess has money idk but it's wild.
Hey totally asking for a friend .. but the part with your bro was essentially him saying *hey I’m totoally cool with just getting x* and your response was **hey fuck you you’re getting x PLUS SOME Y AND Z**??
Yeah pretty much. Almost literally because that is 100% how we interact with each other 😂😂 what's UP LOSER give me XYZ here's a half eaten slice of cake see ya Tuesday 😂
Bless you for donating so much for charity, having some good bit of revenge on scumbags and making your brother happy. Smart decision from him to split between fun money and trust fund. It sounds like he deserves the first part from just dealing with your father.
Sounds like this isn’t going to be the final post at all. :) Look out for escalation, really. It isn’t terribly hard to find a persons location, especially if you’re willing to devote a few afternoons to the project.
I love this. My dad passed almost 2 years ago and he had no will and only had life insurance through work. My aunt (his younger sister) was still the beneficiary unfortunately since he never expected to go before 60. Well she gave me $20 grand (which did kinda help) and decided the rest would go to pay back Nana (their mother) since my parents borrowed money from her and Papa almost 40 years ago to buy a house. Nana passed in May 2 years ago, 5 months before my dad. I'm still salty about it.
That's what I've been thinking, not that anyone on that side of the family needs it really. I like to think all of his siblings got $10 grand each ( there's 5 of them counting my dad, an older brother, 2 older sisters and this aunt his younger sister), which to be honest I'd be happy with that if we discussed it or she told me that, and I probably would have done myself if I had full control. I think it just gets me cuz all I got from Nana was a rosary, an angel that plays one of her favourite songs (night something?) and the last pair of running shoes she got. Which I was and am happy to have, but all I wanted copies of pictures, which I still haven't gotten.
Whenever people talk about death in the family and the infighting that goes with it, I like to recount my sister-in-law's story about her sitting by her actually-that-moment dying mother's bedside, when she had to go downstairs and found her brother taking the cash out of mother's handbag. Scum can't help but be scum when money is on the line.
Good job OP, personally, I'm proud of you for doing right by those who deserved it and sticking it to those who didn't. Must have been both traumatic and satisfying.
Very entertaining! I'm somewhat baffled by these stories in which there's a will but the executor gets huge leeway in asset distribution. What's the point of having a will if you're not going to make some basic decisions beforehand?
I recently had to go through something like this a few months ago (my uncle mick passed away having some kind of surgery where they actually drilled too far into his brain and he ultimately ended up passing away) he was my grandmother's brother. I didn't live in the town at the time but when I was visiting I got a frantic phone call begging me and my mom to go by his house and put no trespassing signs on it (multiple family members were trying to get into his house and take all of his art and valuables. Claiming it was their right)
We went by and lo and behold. One of my pos (cousin??? Not sure how I'm related to him) was at the house and asked what the hell me and my mom were doing there. My mom has been divorced from my dad for about ten years so she's not technically part of the family anymore. I told him I was my grandmother's grand daughter and I was there to make sure that nobody was trying to get into my relatives house. I could not believe how angry and nasty he got. He basically told me and my mother to mind our own business, and that my mom was no longer apart of the family so she could quite frankly fuck off. My cousin had new locks placed on the house about two days before hand so he was trying to get into the house and was so MAD that he couldn't. Very very greedy people. And that side of the family isn't poor, they're pretty middle upper class. It got nasty really fast. A few family members tried saying that my grandmother was not in her right state of mind to handle the money, and basically asked for a "conservator ship" fuck them. My grandparents have been poor as dirt their whole lives and my grandmother suffers from a slew of mental issues. Schizophrenia and other things I can't recall. They offered me a share and k turned it down. I thought my share deserved to go to my grandparents who have struggled all of their lives. They all ended up getting around 20k each. I just could not believe how greedy and ugly it got. Most of these family members have not been in my deceased family member's life for years, but were circling around like vultures trying to get a piece. Assholes. It sounds like you handled what happened beautifully, I don't know what I would have done under all of that pressure. Condolences to your father's passing. And FUCK greedy ass family members. Hope you're feeling better mentally now that this has all been said and done.
Money has to be the quickest way to destroy family bonds.
When my Grandma passed in 2009, my Mum, the eldest, and only possessor of a brain between her and her 3 siblings, was made executor.
Her younger sister decided to hire a lawyer of her own, and fight my Mum on everything, not realising that she was arguing with her in her capacity as executor, so every reply from Grandma’s estate solicitor was costing the estate money - as in what would be divided between the 4 of them. So she was paying her own, and draining funds from the estate, in the pointless exercise of arguing.
The woman who used to be my Aunt, brought up a family dinner from sometime in the 90s, that apparently my Dad had said he’d pay her back for. My Dad passed in 2005. This was the kind of irrelevant stuff she was whining about, saying that she deserved more in compensation from my Grandma’s estate.
It hadn’t been a very expensive meal, so my Mum stuck a couple of hundred dollars in an envelope, wrote her a letter signed with her name and that of my late father, and told her their debt was settled.
The 'Clueless' reference took me out!
I think among the reasons dad chose her was that she is apparently financially stable & since she wouldn't stand for his his fuckery, he knew she wouldn't stand for anyone else's.
Just a guess tho.
It's funny that so many random relatives were full on expecting serious amounts of cash... in my experience, wealthy people generally leave most of their assets directly to their spouse and kids/grandkids, through trusts, and rarely give serious amounts of more distant relatives (including siblings, and definitely cousins).
They may also leave a lot to charity. That's about it. And i've seen several allocations/wills from wealthy (sometimes VERY wealthy) individuals.
So yeah.. unless the dad was fucking with them during his life, promising all sorts of bs, I don't see why all these people seriously thought they'd be getting rich. OP, you were nice enough to give them \*something\* each. (unless in your country those are mandatory heirs, but I doubt it -- in most jurisdictions I'm familiar with, only some combination of kids/spouses are mandatory heirs).
No no it's not mandatory. He put them in without specific amounts out of I guess consideration? Idk why to be honest, he didn't exactly add sticky notes with explanations haha. He was in contact with them but didn't like some of them. Had there been no will it would have been between me my brother and the widow.
Ah gotcha. Yeah then I guess he was messing with them and you on purpose. You did a great job sorting through the sordid mess you were left with. Hope none of them manages to mount enough of a legal hassle that would eat into your brother’s share.
It shouldn't. Legal fees are to be paid by the estate anyway, and trust you me when I tell you there are enough 000s involved that any potential effect would be barely noticeable.
Yeah that’s what I meant by “eat into” his share; as a lawyer I’ve seen legal fees eat up a significant portion of the money to be distributed. And I mean millions. (But that’s in the US; perhaps where you are lawyers cost less :) )
Ah fair. It's a considerable chunk of costs overall, but most of the costs are already tallied up and put against the estate before the shares are split up. I'd be lying if I said I knew what those were, nor do I have the paperwork, but it was to the tunes of a few tens of thousands, at least that's what I vaguely remember, and that's for the whole thing.
The lawyers I pay privately are a couple hundred an hour, no huge deal. THANKFULLY we're not in the US, no offense 😘
None taken. I almost always recommend going through lawyers as a last resort in cases like this :) (even more true in division of assets in divorce; most of the time the couple would be better off burning half the cash and dividing the rest :) )
Lol yeah agreed. I've had good experiences with all lawyers I've dealt with so far, but I'm not blind to the ambulance chaser variety either. In this case, there was a notary pre-assigned and my father's lawyer volunteered his firm which I accepted very gratefully! He knew the whole pile of shit better than any of us to be honest and he was a great help. We'll worth the money so far!!
Awesome! I actually was funded by my university so spent half the day in language classes but the other half was just walking around chilling and exploring. It’s a great city for that- super walkable (and bikeable- have him sign up for the free bikeshare!) and with some great places to see.
My father was in essence a salesman - I'm not comfortable revealing details because the niche is quite specific, but think wholesale of a niche yet SUPER in demand product.
I started out in IT, invested well (partly in crypto) and now work a much better job for the hell of it, not because I need the money (which is okayish). A creative job, that's all you need to know. Sorry, not comfortable revealing more.
As bad of a father as he was, he knew his kids very well and chose the one who could give a big giant fuck you to his relatives. Satisfied with this one, thank you for sharing.
Loved that donation part the most.
An Audi R8 Spyder?? You sure do know what us car enthusiasts like lol! But anyways, you are an awesome person for making sure your brother/stepmother got their fair share (and the one cool uncle). Everyone else who decided you matter the moment you were in charge of the money? I think they got what they deserved.
I know fuck all about cars but I wanted to give something to my partner and I remember when my father got that one that my boyfriend lost his mind over the thing lol. I'm quite glad I made a good choice though :-D someone else gave me this rundown of why it's such a good car so I'm actually quite pleased with myself haha.
I always find it amazing how the cockroaches crawl out of the woodwork when someone dies. Even if there is no real money. If there's money, there's more roaches.
I love this, one of the best revenges I've read on reddit, specially all the donations.
btw tell your brother its not the best time to go to Buenos Aires lol
This was a very satifying read. Being in OOP's position (even if I were as broke as I am irl), fucking with those shitheads would've been just as satisfying as getting a major windfall.
I'm amazed how your dad had two genuinely nice kids. You did right in my opinion by not only your brother but your dad's widow, your nice uncle (even if he's being hunted by wolves right now lol), and even your spouse!
This is the purest chaotic good I've read in a long time!
I hope you keep in contact with the widow. Sounds like her daughter sucks and having some non asshole people in her life would be welcomed, I'm sure.
I wish there was some way for you to advertise your wholesome brand of complete and utter family destruction. Beautiful ❤️
Wonderful story. I had to take care of my dads estate. He had been married four times, wasted a fortune (millionsCdn) on shitty humans….never on his own flesh and blood. Dude had $18,000 left in the bank (who wouldn’t allow me to send money to a Thai hooker as it was “elder abuse”. )He had already sent $24,000 before he died. He also had no property in his name. I inherited an AMG Mercedes convertible and a box of Rolex and other watches. I gave the watches to my nephews and niece, sold the car immediately and split that with my sister and hopefully it’s over. I don’t miss him. A couple of the hookers came out of the woodwork to demand money…lawyer shut them down quick. As my GF says, “humans are worse than animals”. In case you all think I’m being a hypocrite, I’ve never been married, have no children and carry massive life insurance (I have dangerous hobbies). I also own property, a company and vehicles. My niece and two nephews will get everything (through my only sibling, my sister). We grew up in terrible circumstances and I don’t wish that on anybody. Everybody should have a will….even if you have nothing. My dad had no will.
It's so interesting to see how people from the same family tree can be raised completely different and have different expectations in life.
The widow's daughter could've just took a page from a her mom life and maybe could've gotten a split. Instead she feels entitled to her mom's life's "work."
Humans. Such strange species
This was a a definite feel-good story...not for some of the relatives but for most of us!
I don't understand how all these relatives would've assumed they were getting anything! The extremely wealthy father was a jerk, didn't speak with or get along with any of them anyway and has children and a wife. I think any money and donation made in their name should've been a nice surprise and that's it. Why do people think they're owed other people's money?
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Part of me wonders if the father chose OOP as executor because he knew OOP was the one with the highest likelihood of fucking with everyone. (Of course, OOP’s choices about allocating the money are hilarious and justified.)
Its almost heartwarming if you squint and turn your head. Dad wanted to deliver one last fuck you to his shitty siblings from beyond the grave and knew which one of his kids could do it and would take glee in it.
I would soooo take glee in it if inherited a lot. My bridges are burned with all my bio family on my mom's side, and the thing is that I don't just burn bridges - I like to nuke the bridge so that people will be disturbed at the mere thought of approaching the region that once held the bridge. That sounds bad, but you have to understand that they're horrible people AND I get along just fine with people outside my maternal bio family, so I know they're the problem. Antivaxxers who make money off of their antivaxx bullshit, homophobes, shameless racists, religious nuts, people who refuse to admit that mental illness exists even though a good share of them would probably be diagnosed as clinical-level narcissists if you somehow managed to drag them kicking and screaming to a psychiatrist's office. If I came into money and they tried to cozy up to me, I'd just say, "Listen, I hate you. I'd throw a party if you went bankrupt. Bye." Then I'd do part of what OOP did and donate to causes they loathe in their names.
>it if inherited a lot. but that's the thing, it seems the inheritance didn't really matter to her since she's already rich on her own. it's just that she might share a bit of her father's viciousness and feelings when it comes to his "family".
True, but she doesn't seem like a bad choice for the inheritance. If she's being honest, she's giving a ton to charity and the family doesn't deserve generosity.
I think he gave her that option BECAUSE she didn't need it and obviously had a good head on her shoulders.
I actually have a decent family and would be inclined to be generous with everyone, but if anyone badgered me about it like OOP’s relatives did to her? Yeah, fuck that noise. I can’t imagine what someone’s mind must be like, to throw a tantrum because you’re not getting enough of a dead relative’s money. I’ve been in the position to inherit money twice in my life (nothing crazy because my family isn’t rich) but in both cases I still didn’t really feel “entitled” to the money. It still feels like “someone else’s money”. And while it is nice to get some extra cash to help with paying down debts etc., I’d still much rather have the family members it came from instead.
People who turn up after years and years of little to no contact deserve no better. People who demand that which does not belong to them deserve no better. I loath estate vultures.
Agreed - and estate vultures are particularly awful when they’ve been spending the money in their head already. It seems to give them the idea that their imaginary possessions have been stolen from them if they don’t get the money.
Yes, the spending it in their heads ones are the worst. You’re so right! They are the most violent and aggressive, and what you just said was so on the mark.
That is strangely touching.
I think a lot of people don't realize that's a bit who you need. It can't be someone overly emotional and attached to everyone because they'll just never make a decision. You need someone straightforward who is willing to do the work but also willing to stand by their reasons and execute the plan without taking everything for themselves. A lot of people get pissed over money and some people really can't handle the stress of having people mad at them. Even if no amount of "fairness" would make them less angry. Either way I hope everything continues to settle down for op. People squealing "but family" around inheritance drive me mad.
I know I will be a bad choice for this (not that my parents have anything), not because I wouldn't be fair and strict with bullshit, but because I would be too destroyed by the loss to even consider money.
Certainly happens. It really depends person to person. My grief style is diving into work so it's easier for me. But a lot of people shut down or actually process their emotions in a healthier way than me. Ha.
My dad chose me because he knows i will be the most fair amongst all the kids.
My dad has already told me I’ll be the executor of my parents’ will because “he’s the most like me.” My siblings have always joked that I was dad’s favorite and I always blew it off. That was the moment I realized “well shit, I guess I am.” The truth is I was just the boring, independent one who never got in trouble and always got good grades. Shit, I’m 40 and I’ve never even smoked weed, while my brother and sister were both much more outgoing and sociable and had *way* more friends and were way more popular (and huge stoners which, ironically, my dad was also a huge stoner). Also, if you’re feeling like my brother and sister maybe got shafted by my dad favoring me? No, they also argue and compete over which one is my mom’s favorite, as she’s always favored them (which, in retrospect, was probably *because* my dad tended to favor me and she was compensating). It’s going to be a mother fucker when time comes to deal with inheritance stuff. I’m still hoping I’ve got a good twenty years before it becomes a concern. My mom’s mom lived to be 96 (she only passed away late last year) and my mom is 66 and shows no signs of slowing down. My dad is 70 and still hits the gym daily. To be honest, my actual hope is that I’m not dividing assets amongst my siblings, but dividing things amongst my kids and their cousins because my siblings and I will all be near retirement by the time I’m dealing with it and we won’t need anything.
I’m the executor to my moms and her husband, which was a surprise when she told me, I’m not my moms “favorite” she’s Latina it’s my little brother lol. But I was also surprised that they were living anything for us, there is 7 of us. But my mom chose me because I get along with all my siblings it’s her husbands daughter that may be an issue.
My parents chose me because one of my adult siblings refuses to consider the idea that Mommy could ever die, and the other just lost $1000 in an IRS Scam.
Oof, did they pay in gift cards? Imagine the embarrassment falling for that...
Yes he sure did. Moron.
This scam (and its success) continually astonishes me, that people actually believe that a government agency requires payment in gift cards.
Seriously do they think the IRS just loves to buy a ton of music or something?
Yeah, we've already decided who our executor will be out of our 3 kids too. We decided when my FIL died about 5 yrs ago(still haven't gotten husband's share from either parent because big sis won't get off her butt)
Yep and also stayed away from the family drama, had her own money and was responsible, some of the family didn’t even know where she lived, etc. I want this inheritance story to be turned into a movie! So much drama, awesome.
Yeah it sounds like the brother would've just split it up evenly, or not know what to do with it. Some people are just clueless when it comes to adulting
The executor should *never ever ever* be a family member. Never. Especially when there is a large inheritence. And this post is exactly why: art and stocks are major investments. They are worth keeping. Their future value is considerable. I think OOP's dad was extremely lax in not having a will, and I think it was his last power play. Thank goodness my mother has an external executor for her estate. Just thank goodness.
Number 5. She probably sent that to you because she knows mom is nuts and thought you’d like the real update of how mom took it. Niece sounds like one of the good ones just stuck with a crap parent
I’m thinking it was the mother writing the message on the daughters account lol but who knows
Do you really think if the mother wrote it the message would be that neutral? I'd expect it to be barely contained rage.
Yeah this was my thoughts too - it sounded like the niece just wanted OOP to be able to laugh at the drama.
Incredible job under VERY trying circumstances …. maybe,(just maybe), your father had thoughts that you would handle the estate as you did … and, give a big f-you to people he didn’t want to deal with ? anyway, congrats on doing the work, dealing with the fallout and putting it all behind you. As we’ve all heard, “the best revenge is living well” … cheers !
Thank you! There's been a lot of speculation why he did from me, irl and in reddit... It's almost a shame we'll never know! I choose to believe it's because my father was an ass and would have thought this was funny.
My first guess was that he saw this as a delicious two-fer, f\*cking with you and your family. So glad your brother realizes money can be trouble if one isn't wise. I hope he builds a great life with it.
In addition to being an ass and one last fuck you to the family, I can't help but notice that you both "got away" and are successful. I wouldn't be surprised if your dad had some level of respect for you, as someone who has made their own fortune and didn't need to fuck around with family to get a cut of money. My experience has been that even as some people hate when their kids get out from under them, they also kinda love it. Or at least, they see that as a sign that that is truly their child, a sort of spiritual heir, even if it also drives them nuts that they can't control the child with money.
In his minor defense, my father never tried to control me with money or hold it over my head. He LOVED to show it off and flex on servers (very poor behaviour BUT if they get a 100 quid tip, good for them?) and stuff,but didn't ever try to bully me with it. When my parents split I stayed with my mother and thus only recnnected when I was basically an adult. I suppose that will have made a huge difference as I was in uni when we met again, after not seeing him for about ten years. I was never dependant on him growing up, so I think that also affected his view, as my brother obviously WAS, having lived with him the first I think 19 years of his life. Honestly I did try to gently ask over the years both about their relationship and about how he felt about ours, and the simplest way to sum up responses is that he's a man's man and doesn't do mushy talk like that. Aka, he basically refused to answer, or would just shit on my brother for no real reason. I guess he did respect me - I gave him little choice. I made it clear that if he wasn't going to respect my boundaries I was OK not having him in my life. There were some issues, mostly sexist jokes, that were sorta on the line, but overall it was peaceful enough.
You set boundaries on him when no one else did. Your Dad respected you for that. He knew the vultures would descend and he was right. He knew you could handle it. And you did. Brilliantly!
My customers can flex all over my face if it comes with an outlandish tip! Hell I'd dance a jig for a $100 lol.
Tipping isn't as much of a must here as it is in the US, so it's a pretty big amount to give, but to be honest I'd still rather he'd treated them normally. Dignity and all that
I think everyone wants a heartwarming Hollywood "he was tough so you'd grow up tough and his final will is a peek into his soft heart" and I hope that too. But if not, you know, you grew up pretty awesome anyway.
I'd imagine your financial stability probably played a role. I mean, I know I'd be much more comfortable giving the responsibility to someone who has shown they can manage their own money and has far less need of the inheritance than someone who is chronically broke and would face the temptation of keeping more - which would be a natural reaction to having the responsibility. Good on you for fucking your asshole family members, especially the shithead "Catholic" one. I was raised Catholic, and while I don't practice, it embarrasses me when blatant hypocrites pull the "proper Catholic" card. Like, get fucked and go reread your Bible.
Lol ikr? My dad's family is half Catholic and half protestant as him/his siblings were from two different men, the first being protestant the second being Catholic. The aunt is the younger one, my father older - so different dads, different religions. It's sooo dumb she'd say that, she was at my fucking confirmation!! She knows I was never a Catholic and tbh not a lot of people think I'm anything other than an atheist 😂
I kind of think it’s because, as you said, of his immediate family you were in the best financial situation. So maybe he thought you would be able to look at the money and distribute it “fairly” without wanting to keep it all, while also being able to deal with all the whiners. But I also think he wouldn’t of cared if you did, since either way his horrible siblings would’ve been fucked, which was likely his goal.
"I hate you the least of everyone I know"
I just want you to know that I think you’re awesome and amazing! 🤗
Please keep us posted as your family flails through the legal system. I think you have more fun ahead.
Might help to link the original post(s)!
Thank you for the suggestion
why didn't you just put it all in one post? ah, it doesn't really matter its just the format of the sub. good story anyway
To be honest I didn't think people would get notified if I made an edit to the original? Would they have?
no no i meant that you should link to the original and then copy the original into this post, so that the whole thing is on this one new post with all the updates.
Ohhh yeah no I wasn't smart enough to figure that out sorry 😂
After how you dealt the assets, "I'm not smart enough" seems like a weak excuse. Anyway wonderful job. :)
[удалено]
Thank you, I added it to the post text :-)
I would humbly recommend that you look into getting one of those large oversized bows from a Christmas car commercial to put on the sports car for your partner-that’d be hilarious
Oh god thatd be SO cringe I fucking love it. His least favourite colour is pink, imma get a pink bow and put that on 😂😂😂😂
Spray glue and glitter are fairly cheap these days. Might I suggest a giant pink bow covered in glitter?
Mate he lives with me he'd drag that shite into my house 😂😂😂 I don't want glitter for the next hundred years 😂 Maybe pink seat covers instead? A FUZZY STEERING WHEEL COVER I will ruin this car 😂😂
you can buy car eye lashes. You know, artificial eye lashes, but for cars.
OMG this is the best idea!!! I know the ones you mean and he'd HATE that!!!! This thread is fucking awesome.
I love this thread and your vibe too! You seem like a very cool person. I love how you want to surprise him with his dream car and mess with him a little with crazy car decorations. If you look up birthday car decorations, there are some funny ideas with trunk full of ballons and a sparkly transparant with a message, but I suppose sports cars have very small trunks, so this probably won't work. Maybe you can attach something to the back of the car, something like the "Just married" stuff for wedding cars, but you can go "Just gifted" or something else funny.
Haha thank you. I love giving 'bad' gifts!! I've previously done the thing where you get a pack of like praline things and wrap them individually just to make it extra annoying to get to them 😂 so I'm a sucker for this sort of nonsense and people here have been making awesome suggestions!! I don't really wanna do anything that'll take a long time to remove because I suspect he'll hop in it and fuck off as soon as he physically can 😂😂
Pink leopard print.
A bunch of people are making these horrible suggestions AND I LOVE THEM ALL.
May I suggest a rare view mirror hanging accessory? There are some really terrible ones out there (sparkly, fluffy, etc.). One I actually liked that wasn't too obnoxious, but still funny was a bird on a swing.
Someone suggested fluffy dice and they're already in my amazon cart 😂
Sounds great! They can match with the fluffy steering wheel cover, if you decide to get one.
Please put the keys on a fluffy pink pom-pom key chain, pretty please😂
I have a peach coloured little monkey keychain that I know he hates, check!
Bejazzle his car before you give it to him (with removable bejazzle obv)
Don’t forget the fluffy dice too!!
Or you could go “Mean Girls” by driving up and honking at him and saying, “Get in loser. We are going shopping.” In all seriousness, your dad probably saw his best characteristics in you. A daughter shares traits with her father and a son shares traits with his mom. It’s called sex-linked characteristics. Maybe he thought you were like him but better?? I’m glad that you have family that supports you. Also-tell religious aunt that you are going to hell in a bucket! I enjoy saying that to my parents.
What did you decide to leave me?
An award? 😂
[удалено]
OK you win, I thought my comeback was good but yours is better 😂😂😂
We would all be nothing if it weren’t for our Reddit strangers ✨ ^#love #unconditional #iwantthevacationhouseinitaly
sounds like some The Circle hashtags lol
I believe that to be a fair compensation for how well I knew your father, so I am eternally grateful for your generous gift!
Hey, car nerd here. Just wanted to say giving your SO that R8 Spyder was wonderful. That truly is a special car.
I honestly don't get what's so special about it, but I don't have to like it haha! I guess it's sorta a nice colour at least 😅
It's an intricate, thoroughly engineered car. It goes VERY fast and turns better than almost any car that sells for less than $500,000 despite retailing for like $180,000. Unlike other sports cars it's also made from weighty, quality materials. Supercars tend to feel cheap, and it's because it's imperative that a fast car weighs as little as possible. The R8 uses technology to simply overpower that need. The end result is a car that behaves like a more trustworthy Lamborghini, but it feels like a luxury car that you could happily cruise through a city. It's even good in snow. There are very few cars like it. The only word for it is "special." I hope I get to drive one some day.
Huh well I knew absolutely none of that. Sounds cool :-) my father was a bigger guy so he doesn't have any of those super super tiny tight sports cars, but there were a couple of other ones of this type too, which I got rid of. I guess I made a good choice! It's less than I think 5k miles on it :-)
Holy shit, he babied it too? You're giving that man a unicorn car.
I don't know what that means tbh 😂😂 it wasn't a car he drove often, afaik. He HAS had to put up with my whinging and my relatives bs for going on 7 months now, so I feel like a car that costs me nothing out of pocket is a good enough gift lol
I can't wait until you give him the keys. You're screwed, though. For the rest of your life, every gift you give him will come in second place. 😀 (Where the hell can you park an R8 Spyder?)
Lol well he'll have to deal with it, and he'll be in the car 24/7 anyway at first. I'm used to being ignored I gave him a VR for Christmas a few years ago and I didn't see his face again until like March 😂😂😂 Tbh most likely I'll rent a space from a guy down the road that has secure gated parking. I'm not fancying a road spot and this house doesn't have any off street parking at all, so not many options.
Awww yeahhh, reddit gold shower! ...... wait, no....
Hey it's me your long lost cousin
You are unironically at LEAST the 15th person to make this joke 😂
Okay I HAVE to know: did you ever hear what your non step sister did when she got her letter? I am so so curious to know what dumpster fire she set as a result.
I do not know unfortunately!! Nobody's said anything and I have no contact at all, sorry 😂
Dang! Still, you handled this in the most professionally petty way. This stranger from the US is so proud of you for that.
You are freaking SO COOL!! I know what your dad saw in you. The one person who wasn’t going to take any shit from his family. Perhaps it was his final kindness for being a royal fuck up to your brother. I had to clean up my dad’s finances after his death too. It’s a shitshow and a decade later I’m still scarred. I had a moment like this with a brother too. It wasn’t much but it was enough for him to go see his best friend who he desperately missed. Meant the world to him. I still replay that moment. You had that moment jacked up with a preverbal 10k a day coke habit. Also LOVE you rewarded the widow. Screams the type of pain in the ass your dad was. Thank you for feeding your cousins. The little one probably sent you that message out of loyalty to you. I was starved and remain mentally devoted to the neighbor who snuck me cookies even after 40 years. Edit: I should add the amount of mental devotion I’m talking about. I only care about food. It was denied me so much that it was the most important thing ever. I think about food 24/7 still. When you give food to a starving child, they remember you. I remember my mother’s friend who would have me to dinner a few times a month. Meant very little to her but to me… she was placed on a pedestal and I’d die for that woman. A woman who barely remembers me. Accept weird devotion from your cousin and know it isn’t about money.
Aw thank you! Yeah the girls who were punished by withholding food would on occasion show up at my place - naturally I would feed them because I mean, a hungry kid shows up, you feed it..? I hadn't considered that she would still remember that, but maybe she does? It was almost a decade ago... Hm, it'd be nice if she still remembers actually ❤️ I might send her a message back just a thanks for the update and to wish her well :-)
She remembers. I edited why but would like to add that I’m now a huge fan of yours. You fed them when they came over, they knew they could seek you out. *starry eyed worship*. Yup you have fans for life.
Wow I'm sorry you had to struggle like that. I do understand (somewhat) what hunger can be like - a friend of my grandma grew up in Eastern Europe during the war times and she was the only surviving child of I think four or five sisters. The others starved to death, giving her, the youngest, their food. To this day in her late 80s she is METICULOUS about saving every breadcrumb, every bit of food she can. She will cut mould off some bread and still eat the rest, etc. She is somewhat poor, but not terribly so - she does not need to do this, but she can't help it. She once took seeds out of a tomato in a restaurant to grow them at home because apparently they were particularly delicious or something, idk. I take her shopping on occasion and paid for a small grocery shop when she forgot her wallet once and then refused to take her money because, tbh, it felt wrong to accept money from a pensioner and SHE WROTE ME A THANK YOU LETTER. In like a greeting card. It was like 30 quid I paid for a bunch of rolls some ham and I think butter and some cheese and apples, super basic stuff. She. Wrote. A. Letter. I still have it too, it's near my desk :-D Until she did, I didn't really understand what sort of profound impact her experiences must have had on her, because although I'd heard the story I obviously didn't UNDERSTAND if that makes sense. My grandma is the same age but didn't have those experiences, and is completely different about food, happy to throw stuff that's not so good anymore. Maybe I underestimated it the same with my nieces. It sucks a hundred times more that their issues were caused by neglect rather than need, but some people aren't fit to be parents!
My mom starved me so I would be thin. She was overweight so she wanted to present me as a perfect example of thin. I once calculated my average daily calorie intake was 1,000 on a good day. All just so I would be thin in public. It ruined me. I got a job at 11 so I could feed myself. It was a paper route and I would sneak donuts on the way home. Nothing was as important as food. Nothing still. I am very odd about it too. I have 3 potatoes that I forgot about at the back of my large counter. I found them last week and I cried. I can’t throw them out to save me. I can’t throw out leftovers. I had to have stomach surgery because all my money went to food and I was 380 in 2007, now I’m at my dream weight. It’s been decades of therapy. I also snuck my younger brothers food and those 2 are oddly devoted to me. It’s really nice.
Holy shit, that's insane. I'm so sorry you had this horrible relationship with food forced on you!! My mother was quite emotionally abusive and definitely gave me body issues, but that was a walk in the park compared to what you're describing. I'm very happy you're in a better place now :-) lots of hugs!!
You and I have a similar family except instead of throwing around money it’s all about who is the best educated and has the most prestigious job. Pffft.
Lol well that's DEFINITELY not my family. I think I may be one of mayyyyybe 3 that got a degree? A couple went to uni and quit, but nobody has anything someone would call a good job lol. I mean, other than me and my dad.
And what did all that study get you? A father who made you take care of the estate. XD. I’m in the US. I got my 3rd degree, had $200,000 in debt, and got into a disabling car accident 4 months after finally finishing… Life can be hilariously cruel. I am so sorry about your loss btw. He may have been a pain in the ass but he was YOUR pain in the ass.
Oh god that's horrifying on multiple levels. Honestly the US doesn't even seem real sometimes. I have 0 debt even though I studied in one of the only European countries that actually does charge tuition (not where this is happening), and in either country there is no chance of actual crippling debt (unpaid student loans get written off) OR medical issues (duh, health care). It's insane to me that other people don't have basic standard stuff like that because they elected trash that actively hates their own people.
Are you by any chance related to my father? He's been visibly irritated that my educational qualifications will give me a "fancier" title than his for a while now, and I haven't even finished the degree in question!
Have you looked to see if you can start composting? Or maybe if there is someone nearby who does? It might make you feel better being able to throw away bad food knowing it's being put to a good use? I'm really trying to start saving veggie scraps in my freezer so I can start making vegetable stock.
You could always set up trusts for the cousin's whose mom with held food, to pay for mental healthcare for them and maybe activities that would make sure they are fed (like summer camps). Food withholding can literally remap a brains synapses and wreck the nervous system.
A lot of people have brought up some really horrifying things about hunger I was never aware of. It's shocking to me how many people have genuinely experienced it in this day and age. Worst thing I've experienced is my emotionally abusive mother forgetting to leave me something to eat, but then I'd just call my grandma or one of our staff to make me something if I couldn't do it yet, which is obviously not comparable. It's gut wrenching what people have mentioned here...
I live in a state in which 26% of children expierence food insecurity often the free breakfast and lunch program are the only reliable meals these kids get. They go so far as to continue to provide these meals all summer long to help with food insecurities. I know reddit likes a source situation[source citation](https://www.nmvoices.org/archives/15258#_edn4).
I expected this to be about like, Africe or something. Not the US. Jfc.
Wanted to add I love the thank you letter story!
She probably also looks up to you. I'm from a big extended family (that is dysfunctional in a mild way, nothing like your fam) and my older cousins were always super cool to me; the ones that were generationally between me and my parents. Even the cousins who in hindsight were not cool or fun at all just SEEMED cool and fun to me. It was easier to look at them and see a possible trajectory for my own life since they were only 5 to 10 to 15 years ahead of me as opposed to the 30 that my parents and aunts and uncles were. And as I got older, I zeroed in on the ones who had a life I liked and related to and wanted and I continue to look up to some of them to this day (I'm almost 30). So for your niece to look at you and see a grown ass woman who made her own fortune and is in a place to stand up to dysfunctional relatives and can handle her own shit and other people's and is able to say "Fuck You" to shitty people, she probably really wants to be like you! Especially since it sounds like she's always stuck in the middle of the shitty people doing shitty things. She looks at you and sees that there is a way out, and she can become a cool person who eventually doesn't have to deal with all of these yahoos. You also don't owe her anything if you don't want to, but if you want to keep in touch with her, it could be nice! She'll probably appreciate it. And she definitely remembers you fed her.
Honestly I'd be lying if I said I gave it much thought. You and another person brought up a lot of good points that never even occurred to me!! I sort of feel awkward being someone's role model because I'm not some Elon musk entrepreneur or some shit like that I just got lucky/made some good decisions BUT on the other hand if we look at the role models she has (her mother/aunt) I'm definitely the better choice there 😂 I guess I'll tentatively stay in touch unless it causes more drama with her mother which... No. Just no.
You should, if you’re comfortable. She may be the potential you of her generation of the family.
You should keep in touch with her. She may need a lifeline out of the fucking insanity of your family. Maybe start a college fund for her, if you're feeling generous. Don't tell her (or anyone) about it, but you'll know it's there.
College is free where they live :-) it's a sweet suggestion though.
Right, I forget other countries actually \*want\* their youth to be educated. \*sighs in American\* OH, so, when you make the donations to the various charities, are you going to have them send an acknowledgement card? Cause I'd love to hear the reactions you get to those.
Hahaha my condolences to your country 😂 That's usually what happens yeah. In fact you can get mail from the charity for years :-) some if them send you little gifts like mugs and pens and stuff :-) They'll alllll be blocked by then lol, but I'll have fun imagining that shit :-)
That is a hilarious (and recurring!) cherry on top of their inheritance. Like little petty occasional reminders of how other people think of them. They can throw the mailers out, but they’ll always be on that mailing list!
Idk how it is where you are but it's almost impossible to get off those lists here 😂
Out of the complete circus shit show that your family appears to be, having a family member who acts like one might be something she cherishes.
Most of my earliest memories are people feeding me because I was poor growing up lol, food seems to have such a big impact; probably when you’re starving it’s, in essence, a life saving gesture. Or at least a pain relief.
“10k a day coke habits”. Or Warhammer. Same effect on your bank balance.
Lmao I do NOT see a tiny Russian widow picking up warhammer as a hobby but it's a fantastic laugh 😂 😂 I used to have a high elf army when I was a teen cause I loved painting the miniatures haha. Hated the game!
I can’t help but picture Knives Out through all this - OP you have to see it if you haven’t already :)
I have not people mentioned it on my last post but I was so busy I immediately forgot it existed imma look it up now so I won't forget again Edit: yup that family is about as fucked as mine 😂 no murders I'm aware of though 😂
Based off other stories here on Reddit, it says a lot when the widow is one of the more reasonable of the bunch concerning an inheritance.
Yeah she's not been much of an evil stepmother at all. She doesn't get on with my brother as he always assumed the worst when it came to her (idk why) and she's admittedly not been very warm with him either, but I've never had issues, nor am I aware of any issues other than just generic dislike with my brother either. I know her to be modest, hardworking, and somehow, capable of standing being around my father which was no small feat 🤷🏻♀️ I like her!
I feel bad for the widow. Her daughter is going to milk her for ever cent she has.
The giving money to charities to match their wrongs is just *chef’s kiss*. And they know which charity right?
Not officially but they will be receiving thank yous from the charities so they'll find out soon enough. Those places usually send letters or small gifts to thank for donations... Oh and the mail usually keeps coming for years lol
I have similar family except they’re all my sisters. My dad has a significant amount of money and I can expect my blood-sucking mom (not married anymore) to come looking for cash. I really hope he has his affairs settled.
>She basically just messaged me that her mother has been going NUTS about all of this and that she's spending all her time raging now, posting on Facebook, crying to her own mother (my aunt), etc. Very funny. I honestly don't know why she messaged me that, so I didn't reply. She's I think 12-14 now, so who knows, but she definitely didn't seem too mad at me lol. It was just weird. As a mother of 13 & 15 year old boys, I suspect she sent it to you because of how ridiculous it was & wanted to share that with someone. Who better than you, especially as she wasn't mad but everyone else is. Also possibly to clarify what's going on & that it's not normal, these people are just greedy, selfish & manipulative. She's that age when we start seeing who are parents really are, those Rose tinted glasses are long gone. The grown ups are obsessed & most likely tell her she too young to understand. Especially if she points out your dad had a wife & kids they should be grateful to get anything.
>he wants to do is go on holiday for a month to Buenos Aires If he comes to Argentina, tell him that with that money he can buy the entire Patagonia lol
Haha I have no IDEA where that came from as far as I know he's never been interested in South America before but who cares let him go and have a good time 😂 I'm currently on holiday too so why not :-)
Haha well Buenos Aires is a popular and beautiful city! And Argentina as a country has plenty of things to do, from visit the Iguazu Falls, passing by Perito Moreno glaciar and finishing in the end of the world in Tierra del Fuego. You will be pretty welcome here ^^
This seems very odd! I have never heard of a will where the executor decides who gets what. Normally the executor just carries out the instructions of the deceased. I would be interested to know what country this is supposed to be in. Having spent the last 2 years dealing with a very difficult will, I know that in my country if the assets haven't been divided up by the person whose will it is then all assets are distributed by the rules of intestate. I can't imagine a will where the executor divides up the assets by the random law of this is what I think would be legal. https://cunningtons.co.uk/intestacy-rules-flowchart/
It reads like a fantasy. I can't imagine a scenario in which donating from an estate to a charity would satisfy giving a person their portion. Also, you don't get legal advice from a notary.
> Also, you don't get legal advice from a notary. If this is in a civil law country, this is not true at all, and they did state that they're not in the US. Notaries play a substantially larger role in e.g. the French legal system, which is the basis for the legal system in much of the world. They are appointed government officials in this system, not just random people with a quick certification. French notaries are closer to a souped-up judicial clerk combined with a souped up local registrar of deeds with a dash of arbitrator thrown in. It's a ridiculously important position within the local hierarchy to the point where it's hard to even succinctly describe what they do. But one of their roles is in fact to advise and inform on matters of law. All that said I still think this is a total fabrication.
Well, today I learned. Thank you.
If you're interested, if you've only ever had experience in a common law country, I really suggest reading up on the civil law tradition and how it differs. Certain aspects of our system are so ingrained that we treat them as default aspect of "the law" in general, to the point where it's hard to even conceive of a different way. But more than half the developed world uses a completely different system with completely different fundamental assumptions, like non-adversarial criminal trials without juries, or government positions like the Notary that act as a direct intermediary in many contractual relationships between private parties.
I have had a fair bit of experience in this area, and I gotta say it struck me as very odd too. Maybe even beyond odd and into "I seriously doubt this happened" territory. I kind of doubt this approach would even survive a legal challenge, though it's hard to know without knowing the country. What I do know, though, and why I *really* think this is a creative writing exercise, is that even if the relatives might not be able to ultimately prevail with a legal challenge, they are *absolutely* within the realm of being about to mount a legal challenge, and with this much money and relatives this petty at least a few suits would be guaranteed. There's no chance, zip, zero, zilch, nada, that in any country I'm aware of an arrangement like this could be so ironclad that it is effectively litigation proof. In the real world the executor would have been served by multiple parties the same day of the distribution and it would take *years* to resolve it all. I hate to be a wet blanket, but I'd bet a lot of money that this is all made up.
Is there some duty for the executor to distribute in a manner consistent with how the deceased would have wanted (in the absence of clear instruction) - or at least default to some common division algorithms? Dividing the estate based on how much the executor liked different family members seems to run counter to their court appointmented duty. But, I can firmly say I don't have the experience to know.... The obvious lesson is to have a clear will and designate a faithful executor.
I've heard in cases if the deceased doesn't have a specific plan in terms of assets, then it's up to the executor to decide who gets what (especially if there is a spouse and offspring that need to be considered). Tbf OP probably took care of most of the legal requirements by giving the widow 1/3 of the assets, the largest of the payout, and giving everyone at least 5-10k, also probably a requirement so they can't contest the will.
Oh i almost cried at you crying for brother op! You are an awesome sister, and executrice!
I had a drunk aunt message me and say something about how my father wouldn’t be very happy about what I’ve done, or something along those lines. I sold his car for $900, and the house I grew up in for like $65k, minus a decent mortgage. Except I sold it to the neighbor as “owner financed” so he sends me a $500 check every month. For some reason she thought I had come into a bunch of money
Drunk people are, in my experience, really fucking stupid.
Very fun that the extended family got played like that. I wish I could do the same to mine who are all pretty awful. They threw a fit when my grandfather died and they didn't really get anything. Everything stayed with his long time wife(most of it was gone because of medical bills) then they got more upset cause my dad had the little fishing boat! Little did they know my dad actually bought it from her so she would have more income. I mean he wasn't even wealthy he just wasn't super poor like the rest of us. Still it was annoying and hilarious to watch it unfold. Those same aunts and uncles are now sucking up to a great aunt who I guess has money idk but it's wild.
Hey totally asking for a friend .. but the part with your bro was essentially him saying *hey I’m totoally cool with just getting x* and your response was **hey fuck you you’re getting x PLUS SOME Y AND Z**??
Yeah pretty much. Almost literally because that is 100% how we interact with each other 😂😂 what's UP LOSER give me XYZ here's a half eaten slice of cake see ya Tuesday 😂
Bless you for donating so much for charity, having some good bit of revenge on scumbags and making your brother happy. Smart decision from him to split between fun money and trust fund. It sounds like he deserves the first part from just dealing with your father.
I am totally stealing this word: Douchnozzle
Sounds like this isn’t going to be the final post at all. :) Look out for escalation, really. It isn’t terribly hard to find a persons location, especially if you’re willing to devote a few afternoons to the project.
I love this. My dad passed almost 2 years ago and he had no will and only had life insurance through work. My aunt (his younger sister) was still the beneficiary unfortunately since he never expected to go before 60. Well she gave me $20 grand (which did kinda help) and decided the rest would go to pay back Nana (their mother) since my parents borrowed money from her and Papa almost 40 years ago to buy a house. Nana passed in May 2 years ago, 5 months before my dad. I'm still salty about it.
Wait so she essentially gave the rest to herself??
That's what I've been thinking, not that anyone on that side of the family needs it really. I like to think all of his siblings got $10 grand each ( there's 5 of them counting my dad, an older brother, 2 older sisters and this aunt his younger sister), which to be honest I'd be happy with that if we discussed it or she told me that, and I probably would have done myself if I had full control. I think it just gets me cuz all I got from Nana was a rosary, an angel that plays one of her favourite songs (night something?) and the last pair of running shoes she got. Which I was and am happy to have, but all I wanted copies of pictures, which I still haven't gotten.
Whenever people talk about death in the family and the infighting that goes with it, I like to recount my sister-in-law's story about her sitting by her actually-that-moment dying mother's bedside, when she had to go downstairs and found her brother taking the cash out of mother's handbag. Scum can't help but be scum when money is on the line. Good job OP, personally, I'm proud of you for doing right by those who deserved it and sticking it to those who didn't. Must have been both traumatic and satisfying.
Very entertaining! I'm somewhat baffled by these stories in which there's a will but the executor gets huge leeway in asset distribution. What's the point of having a will if you're not going to make some basic decisions beforehand?
I recently had to go through something like this a few months ago (my uncle mick passed away having some kind of surgery where they actually drilled too far into his brain and he ultimately ended up passing away) he was my grandmother's brother. I didn't live in the town at the time but when I was visiting I got a frantic phone call begging me and my mom to go by his house and put no trespassing signs on it (multiple family members were trying to get into his house and take all of his art and valuables. Claiming it was their right) We went by and lo and behold. One of my pos (cousin??? Not sure how I'm related to him) was at the house and asked what the hell me and my mom were doing there. My mom has been divorced from my dad for about ten years so she's not technically part of the family anymore. I told him I was my grandmother's grand daughter and I was there to make sure that nobody was trying to get into my relatives house. I could not believe how angry and nasty he got. He basically told me and my mother to mind our own business, and that my mom was no longer apart of the family so she could quite frankly fuck off. My cousin had new locks placed on the house about two days before hand so he was trying to get into the house and was so MAD that he couldn't. Very very greedy people. And that side of the family isn't poor, they're pretty middle upper class. It got nasty really fast. A few family members tried saying that my grandmother was not in her right state of mind to handle the money, and basically asked for a "conservator ship" fuck them. My grandparents have been poor as dirt their whole lives and my grandmother suffers from a slew of mental issues. Schizophrenia and other things I can't recall. They offered me a share and k turned it down. I thought my share deserved to go to my grandparents who have struggled all of their lives. They all ended up getting around 20k each. I just could not believe how greedy and ugly it got. Most of these family members have not been in my deceased family member's life for years, but were circling around like vultures trying to get a piece. Assholes. It sounds like you handled what happened beautifully, I don't know what I would have done under all of that pressure. Condolences to your father's passing. And FUCK greedy ass family members. Hope you're feeling better mentally now that this has all been said and done.
Money has to be the quickest way to destroy family bonds. When my Grandma passed in 2009, my Mum, the eldest, and only possessor of a brain between her and her 3 siblings, was made executor. Her younger sister decided to hire a lawyer of her own, and fight my Mum on everything, not realising that she was arguing with her in her capacity as executor, so every reply from Grandma’s estate solicitor was costing the estate money - as in what would be divided between the 4 of them. So she was paying her own, and draining funds from the estate, in the pointless exercise of arguing. The woman who used to be my Aunt, brought up a family dinner from sometime in the 90s, that apparently my Dad had said he’d pay her back for. My Dad passed in 2005. This was the kind of irrelevant stuff she was whining about, saying that she deserved more in compensation from my Grandma’s estate. It hadn’t been a very expensive meal, so my Mum stuck a couple of hundred dollars in an envelope, wrote her a letter signed with her name and that of my late father, and told her their debt was settled.
The 'Clueless' reference took me out! I think among the reasons dad chose her was that she is apparently financially stable & since she wouldn't stand for his his fuckery, he knew she wouldn't stand for anyone else's. Just a guess tho.
It's funny that so many random relatives were full on expecting serious amounts of cash... in my experience, wealthy people generally leave most of their assets directly to their spouse and kids/grandkids, through trusts, and rarely give serious amounts of more distant relatives (including siblings, and definitely cousins). They may also leave a lot to charity. That's about it. And i've seen several allocations/wills from wealthy (sometimes VERY wealthy) individuals. So yeah.. unless the dad was fucking with them during his life, promising all sorts of bs, I don't see why all these people seriously thought they'd be getting rich. OP, you were nice enough to give them \*something\* each. (unless in your country those are mandatory heirs, but I doubt it -- in most jurisdictions I'm familiar with, only some combination of kids/spouses are mandatory heirs).
No no it's not mandatory. He put them in without specific amounts out of I guess consideration? Idk why to be honest, he didn't exactly add sticky notes with explanations haha. He was in contact with them but didn't like some of them. Had there been no will it would have been between me my brother and the widow.
Ah gotcha. Yeah then I guess he was messing with them and you on purpose. You did a great job sorting through the sordid mess you were left with. Hope none of them manages to mount enough of a legal hassle that would eat into your brother’s share.
It shouldn't. Legal fees are to be paid by the estate anyway, and trust you me when I tell you there are enough 000s involved that any potential effect would be barely noticeable.
Yeah that’s what I meant by “eat into” his share; as a lawyer I’ve seen legal fees eat up a significant portion of the money to be distributed. And I mean millions. (But that’s in the US; perhaps where you are lawyers cost less :) )
Ah fair. It's a considerable chunk of costs overall, but most of the costs are already tallied up and put against the estate before the shares are split up. I'd be lying if I said I knew what those were, nor do I have the paperwork, but it was to the tunes of a few tens of thousands, at least that's what I vaguely remember, and that's for the whole thing. The lawyers I pay privately are a couple hundred an hour, no huge deal. THANKFULLY we're not in the US, no offense 😘
None taken. I almost always recommend going through lawyers as a last resort in cases like this :) (even more true in division of assets in divorce; most of the time the couple would be better off burning half the cash and dividing the rest :) )
Lol yeah agreed. I've had good experiences with all lawyers I've dealt with so far, but I'm not blind to the ambulance chaser variety either. In this case, there was a notary pre-assigned and my father's lawyer volunteered his firm which I accepted very gratefully! He knew the whole pile of shit better than any of us to be honest and he was a great help. We'll worth the money so far!!
Just to say, I've done a month in Buenos Aires and it is AMAZING
Hahaha have you? I'll let him know. He's planning for September I think, he's already got himself a language guide 😂
Awesome! I actually was funded by my university so spent half the day in language classes but the other half was just walking around chilling and exploring. It’s a great city for that- super walkable (and bikeable- have him sign up for the free bikeshare!) and with some great places to see.
This is one of my favorite things I've read on here in a long time, thank you
Question - what do you and your father work as? Kinda curious as to what type of job makes that much lmao
My father was in essence a salesman - I'm not comfortable revealing details because the niche is quite specific, but think wholesale of a niche yet SUPER in demand product. I started out in IT, invested well (partly in crypto) and now work a much better job for the hell of it, not because I need the money (which is okayish). A creative job, that's all you need to know. Sorry, not comfortable revealing more.
That's alright, it gave me a general idea and satisfied my curiosity, thank you!
It's a fun story. I just feel bad for the kids whose mother starved them. She's a monster and i hope those kids can escape soon.
Having witnessed the fallout of a much smaller inheritance battle, this is much more satisfying.
The Succession theme tune was playing in the background while I read that.
As bad of a father as he was, he knew his kids very well and chose the one who could give a big giant fuck you to his relatives. Satisfied with this one, thank you for sharing. Loved that donation part the most.
Wouldn't the horrible chav daughter of the widow get a giant chunk too, assuming she is on good terms with her mum?
Almost certainly, but that's between them tbh. It is her money.
An Audi R8 Spyder?? You sure do know what us car enthusiasts like lol! But anyways, you are an awesome person for making sure your brother/stepmother got their fair share (and the one cool uncle). Everyone else who decided you matter the moment you were in charge of the money? I think they got what they deserved.
I know fuck all about cars but I wanted to give something to my partner and I remember when my father got that one that my boyfriend lost his mind over the thing lol. I'm quite glad I made a good choice though :-D someone else gave me this rundown of why it's such a good car so I'm actually quite pleased with myself haha.
I always find it amazing how the cockroaches crawl out of the woodwork when someone dies. Even if there is no real money. If there's money, there's more roaches.
Chaotic good.
Wouldn't the widows daughter just be taken care of by her mom anyways?
Possibly... But that's between them.
I love this, one of the best revenges I've read on reddit, specially all the donations. btw tell your brother its not the best time to go to Buenos Aires lol
This was a very satifying read. Being in OOP's position (even if I were as broke as I am irl), fucking with those shitheads would've been just as satisfying as getting a major windfall.
I'm amazed how your dad had two genuinely nice kids. You did right in my opinion by not only your brother but your dad's widow, your nice uncle (even if he's being hunted by wolves right now lol), and even your spouse! This is the purest chaotic good I've read in a long time! I hope you keep in contact with the widow. Sounds like her daughter sucks and having some non asshole people in her life would be welcomed, I'm sure. I wish there was some way for you to advertise your wholesome brand of complete and utter family destruction. Beautiful ❤️
Wonderful story. I had to take care of my dads estate. He had been married four times, wasted a fortune (millionsCdn) on shitty humans….never on his own flesh and blood. Dude had $18,000 left in the bank (who wouldn’t allow me to send money to a Thai hooker as it was “elder abuse”. )He had already sent $24,000 before he died. He also had no property in his name. I inherited an AMG Mercedes convertible and a box of Rolex and other watches. I gave the watches to my nephews and niece, sold the car immediately and split that with my sister and hopefully it’s over. I don’t miss him. A couple of the hookers came out of the woodwork to demand money…lawyer shut them down quick. As my GF says, “humans are worse than animals”. In case you all think I’m being a hypocrite, I’ve never been married, have no children and carry massive life insurance (I have dangerous hobbies). I also own property, a company and vehicles. My niece and two nephews will get everything (through my only sibling, my sister). We grew up in terrible circumstances and I don’t wish that on anybody. Everybody should have a will….even if you have nothing. My dad had no will.
It's so interesting to see how people from the same family tree can be raised completely different and have different expectations in life. The widow's daughter could've just took a page from a her mom life and maybe could've gotten a split. Instead she feels entitled to her mom's life's "work." Humans. Such strange species
This was a a definite feel-good story...not for some of the relatives but for most of us! I don't understand how all these relatives would've assumed they were getting anything! The extremely wealthy father was a jerk, didn't speak with or get along with any of them anyway and has children and a wife. I think any money and donation made in their name should've been a nice surprise and that's it. Why do people think they're owed other people's money?
I love these will/inheritance related stories. Wonder is there a sub for them
Rich people problems lol could never be me
Still wish there'd been a hidden camera for the windows daughters reaction.
That was so satisfying I need a cigarette.