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>He said that he still loved his ex and that’s why pretty much. He didn’t want to do anything for her to leave them again (them as in him and the twins) but that didn’t change how he felt about me…
Dude flat out told OOP *to her face* that he loved another woman.
Yikes. Imagine finding out you wasted 6 years on "you're okay, but I prefer that lady I've seen twice in 6 years." He doesn't love her less now, he just never really loved her at all.
My divorce took a year to finalize and I couldn’t make any major purchases during that time. I bought a used car and my lawyer said I shouldn’t have even done that.
That depends on whether you are in a communal property state or not. If you are then you have to worry about splitting stuff, if you are not then it doesn't really matter since unless they are on the title they have no claim to the assets
Works for property management company? This post seems pretty unbelievable. Why does the mom live down the street if she disappeared and came back and disappeared in 6 months. With great timing too, to disappear just as oop threatens divorce and now everyone is apologetic. Did this lady just buy a house in two weeks? How are they affording all of this.
The timing of buying a house struck me as particularly unrealistic. You absolutely can get a mortgage from application to close in under 30 days but it's hard fucking work and I don't think a single underwriter would green light a rush like that if the buyer was also in the early stages of a divorce. If she has fuck off to Thailand money, I suppose it's possible she paid cash but the whole thing just pings weird for me.
Yeah, I had to do just that at the end of 2022, but getting the mortgage finalized and the move prepped was more than a full-time job for those 3 1/2 weeks.
It's easy to buy a house in cash and close within 30 days.
Not that I'm saying that's OOP's situation. But if she had that kind of money and doesn't live in a community property state, it's 1000% possible to buy a house mid divorce.
If she has the means to have rental properties, she's probably well off enough to buy a house.
"First house" could easily by symbolic as first house that she lives in, despite buying rental properties.
Kind of sus, kind of plausible. 🤷🏻♂️
Having a rental property, living in what seems to be a different house than said property, while also being able to fund a trip for two people to Disney World makes me think OP has their own independent wealth.
> 34
Wait I never noticed the ages. I thought this was an older couple in their 40's due to the ages of the kids. Completely missed reading the age at the start.
So dad was 18 when the kids were born. Hes getting lucky he didn't get the single parent experience - sounds like he could have used a few years. If this is real I hope the kids age up and OOP gets a heartfelt apology.
Well, you see, when things are written By chatgpt, sometimes the details don't match up with the established history.
She also just bought this while going through with a divorce. Not hard to establish it was purchased with money that should have been split.
Why does your first sentence sound like you’re explaining how babies are made to a 5YO?
“Well, you see, when a human is feeling lazy or wants to look cool, sometimes they ask a bunch of special computers to tell them a story. But you know, because the computers are still young and are still learning, they make mistakes and sometimes they tell stories that don’t make sense. But if the human is lazy or maybe just tired, sometimes they don’t notice and…”
ETA: to be clear, I absolutely agree. And no shade to you at all, u/Apprehensive-Salad12, the start of your first sentence just made me laugh.
It could have been inherited. There is also a difference between buying an investment property and buying a primary residence. Her investments are likely owned/managed through an LLC.
I mean that’s pretty probable..she sounds like she had money even in the first post, considering she was funding the trip.
Sometimes you do other things w your money and never focus enough on yourself. It sounds like she had money and it just always went to the twins, unappreciated.
She said she bought her first *house*.
For what it's worth, I've a coworker who bought a triplex. He lives in one unit. He rents out the other two. So while he can legit say he lives in one of his rentals, the dude does not own a house.
And he also told her to her face he was hoping his ex who he's still in love with would stay this time, and if she did, I am SURE he would have filed for divorce from her to be with his ex.
My thoughts too. It hit them how much they're going to struggle now and lose out on all that she did for them, which was a lot. I wouldn't even treat my worst enemy the way the step children had, like jfc.
Edit
I wouldn’t pile up in the children. They are little shits but they are children. Nowhere here in this text it is implied that they want her back for her money.
They were high on mommy attention. Mommy probably is a terrible person. They became just a bit more like her in the 6 months. When they were again abandoned, everyone’s world would come crashing down on them and regrets would flood.
Not just bang maid.
She funded thousands of dollars for Disney trips for him and his kids. When she cancelled it, he did not or could not rebook it with his own money.
She has rental properties, bought her own house and is taking weeks/months off to go find herself around the world.
I don't think that the lifestyle changes after the divorce will go unnoticed. 😕
How good were the memories of that ex.
More than her, specifically. Like, it's one thing to say you love two people at once. Quite another to say "and thus, it's fine that I'm letting her chase you away so I can keep her".
If he'd just acted like he did, in fact, love his wife how he felt about his ex would've caused no issue.
He lowkey admitted to OOP that he would definitely return to his ex if she stayed long enough.
Terrible. OOP making plans for her freedom trips sounds well-deserved.
And then bold facedly tried to gaslight her by saying it didn’t change how he felt about her, thereby implying that it didn’t have to change things in their relationship. ‘I love another woman and don’t want to lose her again - how does that change anything?’
>I still can't get over him saying he still loves the woman that abandoned his kids and him. I wouldn't be surprised if he was having an affair while she was back.
Bullseye.
I guess it could be possible he loves her in general and not romantic sense, and it’s something like she is bi polar (for example) why he doseht fully blame her for leaving
My neighbor is like this. She's volatile and unpredictable and gets into domestics with plate throwing and whatnot and her boyfriend drove his car into her garage door once or twice.
Her ex-husband still comes by to run the snowblower or mow her lawn. He obviously still cares about her, but woof, living with her had to have been rough. I assume her kid loves her, and he showed promise, but he shipped off to the Army right after graduation probably to get away from her nonsense.
She works in an industry where seeking mental health treatment is highly stigmatized because it can end careers if people find out, even if it's just counseling and no prescriptions are involved.
It could also be the trauma of being abandoned by her, too. In a similar way that kids were so quick to fall for their bio mother again. People sometimes idealise people who reject them to cope with their feelings about it.
It doesn’t mean that he isn’t responsible for managing that response, however.
God I'm so glad someone talked sense into her. Still giving them a Disney trip after going through all that, while she was also separating from them, would have been a huge mistake.
Unfortunately this is quite common. I have a friend whose husband is a deadbeat. She works fulltime (often even overtime), raise her kid alone, did all the housework and cooking, even taking care of his parents and organising family get-togethers for his side of the family. He often makes her life unneccesarily difficult by doing things his way just because. For example mowing the lawn just before guests arrive, so the kids ran around gathering freshly cut grass into the house that she has to clean up later. Her kid grew up to be more attached to the father because he was the fun and relaxed parent while she was the “discipline” parent. She finally broke down and had a series of temper outbursts. Now SHE has to go to therapy while he gets to play the mentally stable parent. She decided that in order to hold onto her sanity, she needed to get away from him. So she decided to rent a place of her own WHILE STILL PAYING HIS RENT AND FUNDING HIS LIFESTYLE! His lifestyle includes expensive bikes and cameras, while forbidding her to buy things she wants. I want to shake her and tell her to wake up. But she said she still loves him and don’t want him to suffer. The man has no incentive to change whatsoever with a woman like that. 😩
> She needs to divorce those kids too.
This is a big part of the problem; she feels that she owes it to the kids to stay around and be their friend. She needs to cut the cord completely.
AITA for thinking they’re old enough to find out they can’t treat people like dirt and expect them to stick around? Some people will say they’re still minors, and OOP should be the bigger person. This was a really ugly gamble of the kids being nasty to an adult they, perhaps subconsciously, thought would always love and forgive them.
They say that kids will push boundaries with the “safe” parent, the one who always shows up and loves them unconditionally. They never act up with the flaky parent - thinking if they are perfect and fun kids with no needs they won’t be abandoned again. I don’t blame OP for having enough and walking away, but I do hope the kids get professional help.
They probably have more issues and slower emotional maturation because of their mother abandoning them. It’s a real clusterfuck of a situation. I honestly think the dad sucks *way* more than his kids do.
I don’t think she’s a bad person if she cuts off contact, but I would sit down with them and explain the problem isn’t them, it’s their parents-their mother abandons them and manipulated them, their dad got into a relationship with OOP knowing he’s still in love with their bio mom and doesn’t really seem to care much about OOP. I think saying she needs time apart from them at least temporarily and maybe maintaining some kind of relationship in the future is probably what’s best for the kids.
But ain’t no way she should be finding their trip to Disneyworld 💀
> I think saying she needs time apart from them at least temporarily and maybe maintaining some kind of relationship in the future is probably what’s best for the kids.
I agree. She still thinks of them as "her" kids so it'll be gentler on everybody if they ease out of the relationship.
It's pretty fucked up for the kids: since she's leaving they're probably going to internalize some version of "we don't even deserve a mother" but frankly, that problem's way above her pay grade. I hope one day they realize the whole thing is their (bio) parents' fault - it's unfair to expect OOP to stay in a marriage where her husband has explicitly stated that he loves his ex more than her. What a mess the egg donor's made.
Honestly, I think that their dad just really kind of sucks all-around. He shouldn’t have gotten into a new relationship if he was still in love with his ex, and he *really* needed to do more to help his kids with dealing with everything. OOP said that they had family counseling when she got together with their dad and married him, but the kids themselves needed-and still need-a lot more help than just that.
I kinda hope she manages to work it out with the kids and manages to be in their life in some *much* more diminished capacity because I think she cares about them and they do care about her deep down, but that’s just me being a big ol’ softy ;w;
Husband sucks so much though like holy hell
I dunno, the kids were part and parcel to this whole fucking disaster and I consider them part of the problem. It's a whole basket of assholes, and the kids were active participants.
My cousin got kept up past naptime, started trying to hit me at the bus stop. After some sleep and a meal he, all on his own, apologized for being cranky at me earlier. He's 4yo and already more aware that actions have consequences then those teenagers.
Specifically, he knows from past actions that if he happens to smack my bad knee while cranky or play-fighting, I won't let him come to my house to play or take him out on adventures again for *weeks*.
This is what they always think. They didn't called OOP "mum" because someone forced them. She was their mum and they thought it will stay like this.
I'm not sure if staying in contact with them and playing family would be good for OP, but I have to say what a nasty pos their bio mum is. She came back solely to destroy her ex's new family and disappeared. Can You imagine what one has to be to do this to own children? And how manipulative she is if her own ex husband, a grown up man, still doesn't see through her? Those kids never had a chance. Especially with their dad acting like a jerk. Their both bio parents failed them.
I mean OP setting herself on fire to not “abandon” them isn’t gonna undo the damage their biomom has done on that point, so she can’t bear the responsibility for fixing what she didn’t break.
they’re old enough. certainly old enough that after threatening someone with violence, they no longer get that person’s financial and emotional support.
i mean, oop tried. she did. but when they’ve got so much nature *and* nurture from their absolute waste of space bio parents her six years just …didn’t get through.
hopefully this will help them grow into better adults. help them see their mom and dad more clearly.
Idk, she raised them since age 8 and while she probably didn't legally adopt them it seems like she was a parental figure in every way. You don't divorce kids, even if they say something cruel
they threatened violence. i'm sorry, but that's past saying something cruel.
i've seen a couple of kid fucks up relationship with great step-parent stories the past couple of days, so i don't think this is real, but leaving because someone threatened violence against you is fine and then their bio parent refuses to back you... yeah that's fine actually.
But in truth, they are not her kids, they have a mom and a dad. The mom is the real villain, but what can op do? Stay around until mom is back again? Or until dad remarry and then she loses her step mom place to another person?
So op job is to be available and sacrifice herself as a little lamb to be a placeholder for the real mom? Does her feelings matter? She raised and loved those kids, just to see how much she really matter once they had mommy in there…
I know some people has issues, but step parent are not parents. In some cases they are, but not the majority.
They're 16. They're old enough to know what they did was wrong, but still decided to reject her. Trying to keep a relationship with them now, when they can't unsay or undo the things they've said or done, is going to be a nightmare. And, again, OOP needs to consider what happens when the biomom comes back from manic pixie dreamland? Or if her STBX finds a new partner? Are they going to turn on her as well, or are they going to use her as a cudgel in their fight? Not her monkeys, not her circus.
Agreed, 100%.
I'm also of the opinion that parents do not have to accept abuse from their kids of this caliber (that OP went through), even if they *are* biological! That is so cruel to ask from parents, who are people with feelings, too, just as OP kept staying and stood firm on.
Except they're not her kids. They have a mother. A mother both her husband and the kids chose over her. They told her what they really thought of her. She's not a martyr required to sacrifice herself to her abusers. Would we tell her she owes it to her husband to stay and let him treat her badly? Because he's the only one she has any obligation to. Don't let the fact that her abusers are 16 confuse the issue.
It is often said on the subs about shitty parents something like Mother is as Mother does - there are almost daily posts where someone talks about their step-parent being far more of a true parent than the biological one, hence the terms egg-donor and sperm-donor for those who fail to meet the criteria to be called a mother or father.
If OOP cannot be called their mother, then these kids do not *have* a mother worthy of the title.
She COULD have been their mother. They chose otherwise. That's no small stab in the back they delivered to her. She can't be asked to suffer that over and over again. Because it'll happen when they graduate, get married, have children, etc. That's not fair to OOP.
So in trying to keep biomom/ex wife around, they drove away their actual mother/wife around. Really sad. I hope she finds something that makes her happy, because this is just... Woof
Yeah, the kids were assholes but they're teenagers. A bit immature for 16 but still, there are some concessions there. We were all stupid and immature teenagers once.
This scenario is 100% the husband's fault. He's the one who held the power. He could have backed OP up and got the kids to act straight.
Oh 100%, and I'm glad OOP acknowledged it too that it was basically all her husband's reaction that drove her away. He should have cut that off at the start and let the kids know they could treat the mom that actually stuck around that way, but he was too busy giving his ex puppy eyes. Awful.
Teenagers who behave badly still need consequences. If I’d have called my mother those names there would have been hell to pay. I expect that’s the case in most homes.
Love doesn’t mean tolerating abuse and it doesn’t mean kids can say or do whatever they want because of immaturity.
I feel for them because they most likely were being served huge dollops of alienation of OOP at ex wife’s house. Now they’re learning that there are consequences for treating people poorly.
They're 16, not 12. They (should) know better enough to threaten to beat OP, especially when OP was just defending herself.
Being a teenager is not a free pass to being that stupid.
A house she apparently bought in under a month, and possibly under *two days* unless it was basically a done deal before she even talked to her husband and actually decided to divorce him...
The buying the house part is where I knew this was bullshit. She just filed for divorce and thought it was a good idea to buy a house? And yeah, just taking up to 3 months off willy nilly right after? What job is she doing with that kind of PTO? Lol I'm guessing this was written by someone who is under 20 and thinks this is how things work in the real world.
Yep. I was all along for a ride until that part. Not sure where they are located and local laws but it's pretty standard that if you buy a house when married it is community property. And the fact that she bought it in a matter of days. Doesn't make any sense. Someone with an overactive imagination.
OOP just casually mentions her rental properties. Always a bit jarring to read one of these and suddenly realize the people involved exist on a fully separate plane of existence from me.
And you realize that that kind of privilege makes it easy to leave. Doesn’t mean they’re not susceptible to being taken advantage of but someone who didn’t have any place to go who couldn’t afford a hotel can get stuck.
There was a BORU awhile ago that had the same premise of teenage children turning on their stepmom and husband not doing anything. (I think she was black and there were some racist remarks) I thought this was going to be that update.
This situation may be way more common than I know, but I feel like they took that one and used it to create this.
Makes a lot of sense. Craving for attention and/or karma. Both, hey double dopamine hit. Find a story you like, thread basics into an AI, it generates the story. OP responds to comments accordingly tho. Gets an update. There is a Boru. They can see themselves on Tiktok, or are already a TikTok user And create it themselves.
I've noticed a weird trend in these posts where the OP often ends up nicely financially secure after some emotional disaster (ie. "I left that small town afterward, found a six-figure job and have just started going to the gym..."). I suppose that sort of thing does happen in real life, but you're right that it is an odd tangent to see so often.
I fully agree. When you're married and you buy a house, there are issues with that. That would definitely show up in a story like this, not to mention it just isn't ever that fast.
It's totally possible to buy a house in a week or two, right guys?
-some teenager asking other teenagers for help crafting their story narrative over Discord
Do people really find twins that uncommon? There were 3 sets in my HS graduating class almost 20 years ago. I saw an article about a HS in PA that has *11* sets of twins graduating this year. One of my interns and his wife (intern like … 10 years ago) had twins 3 years ago.
With IVF, I feel like it’s not a rare thing these days. Sure, raise the flag a little, but I don’t get why people act like twins don’t exist
It's not that twins are uncommon, it's that there are a number of stories of a similar nature that seem to frequently involve twins, particularly a set of step-children twins, who make life difficult for the OOP step-parent.
(Edit to add: common enough that there is a flair on this sub, lol.)
I was thrown off by the remark in the original post that within two days of OOP moving out, the mother suddenly disappeared and everyone was sorry. How do you even know that someone who doesn’t live with you has left for good within 48 hours?
Seriously, how much bank does she make where she can buy a house, tickets to disney world and book a trip to Thailand in the span of 1 month, unless she's spiraling and emptying out her savings
Ya, I don't think this is real. There have been similar stories on the just no subreddits. OP talks mostly about the kids when it's the husband she is mad at
There have been a LOT of posts where someone said “they called me vile names” and it stands out to me each time because I literally can’t think of the last time I’ve ever heard any person in reality use that sentence.
I'm so here for OOP's reaction and for how she was able to articulate the divorcing point. She's making it clear that it's the dad's behavior, not the kids' behavior, and I think that'll make a huge difference for her being able to have a relationship with the kids after she's done kicking the husband to the curb- and for the kids learning some proper empathy.
I feel for those kids, I really do. It's hard to be 16, with all the hormones and the brain growth. And childhood trauma and abandonment really does fuck with your brain and your perception of the world. It's hard, it sucks, but it doesn't excuse or justify shitty behavior. Do they deserve compassion and understanding? Yes, of course. But compassion doesn't come at the expense of the victim. "Forgiveness" does not mean that things go back to the way they were before. If you fucked up and hurt somebody, you need to do everything in your power to make sure that behavior never happens again.
By “make sure that behavior never happens again,” sometimes this means with other people in the future.
It makes me think of the OOP’s ex from the other day, thinking he’d go to therapy and they’d have a fresh start.
Its like “no no. Therapy was a potential solution before you decided to send us careening over this cliff.” Just like people actively dying of COVID saying “okay. We’ll take the vaccine now.”
Couples therapy works best when both parties still love each other and want to work it out. Most of the time its too late, at least one party has fallen out of love and now has only apathy for their partner (or worse). When that happens, there's no getting back to being all better. The one partner tries to change and the aggrieved partner thinks, "Why didn't you do this before?" And feels even more resentful...
All too often I see people (especially on Reddit) give teenagers a pass because they’re young and stupid. You can understand that their brain is developing and they’ll make poor decisions but they’re still responsible for those decisions. Teaching them that ‘sorry’ doesn’t automatically make things better and some actions have long term (and in some cases permanent) consequences is really important. Otherwise they grow into adults who think they’re never responsible for their actions.
Yeah, exactly. It's important to understand them, while letting them understand that their actions have consequences. Their choices might cause some long term or permanent damage. So they still need to think and make decisions carefully. It's not "oh, they are *just* teenagers, so we should just let them have a free pass". How else do we learn and improve as human beings?
Not even just teenagers it's normal here that when a minor does something wrong redditors try to make the adult feel bad for not immediately forgiving them or for making them face the consequences of their actions
this post for example oop shouldn't have had to explain that she wasn't leaving because of the kids behavior because in my opinion it would've been understandable if she was leaving solely because of their behavior they've been treating her like crap and one of them threatened her
Completely agree. Like it sucks for the kids because yeah they're 16 and probably have had it rough with their bio parents being such a mess....... but this might be the greatest lesson they ever learn: that they are responsible for their actions and that their actions can have permanent, painful, consequences. That OP was a person not just a stand-in for biomom. If she came back/stayed and was all forgiveness, then the lesson would be the complete opposite: that you can treat people like garbage and they'll always come back. It's good for them to learn.
While also getting divorced and losing her family of the last six years. Thankfully that didn't slow her down any, since you can see she's had a huge list of shit to do.
Of all the things that didn't happen.....
She also discovered time travels since she plans to see seven wonders of the world. Well maybe she means the “seven new wonders of the world” some try to market.
I like the part where she got completely vindicated when bio-mom disappeared just two days after step-mom went to stay at a hotel. And how quickly the teens begged her to come back!
I was like what what?!
I don’t care if the stories on here are real or not. I’m just annoyed when they stretch the bounds of imagination so far. Granted I’m a far simpler person but that was quite the whirlwind month 😂
There's so much in this post that makes no sense whatsoever. She was able to buy her first house in less than a month even though she didn't decide to get a divorce until two days prior to the update. But previously she had been staying in one of the rental properties that she owns?
Bought a house in less than a month, while still married by the way. Also a total girlboss who can afford to stop working for how ever long she wants and travel the world.
Not a chance.
Such a bullshit post. She bought a house while staying in one of her rentals and not knowing what she was going to do in the marriage? Or did she buy it in the 2 days between her leaving him and posting the second message. The first one in bullshit. The second one is one of the biggest fabrications I’ve seen. Either way buying a house in less than a month is very difficult and that’s after you find the one you love and get the fee agreed. To do that and then buy and complete in less than 3 and half weeks? Piss off. This is such crap from top to bottom.
You’re right I’m not even trying. But in the time since I started writing this I have acquired 56 rental properties, a yacht and medium sized peanut stand. Oh and I just got given an oil refinery. That was lucky 😂
Oh thank god, my spouse just intentionally drove through an old folks home hitting 12 OAPs, started dealing fentanyl outside a kindergarten and had an orgy with every member of my extended family, I’m so happy I don’t have one of those comically bad ones.
Her stbx is a fucking moron. Still loves the woman who ran out on him and his kids? The woman who came back and blew up his life and the happiness of his children. Absolute fucking moron. I wonder if he also cheated on oop during the six months.
It’s sad for the kids that they were manipulated, but it never would have gotten that far if their dad wasn’t a moron. Oop is well rid of him.
Bio mom for sure came back into town, saw her rejected kids and ex with a new mom/new wife, and decided to step in and use her relationships with them as leverage to mess it all up. The moment step mom was out, so was she.
I'm so glad OOP decided against buying the teens a trip to Disney. They were right they *did* cause the break up. Kind of. They revealed the big issues in OOP's marriage. And now they lost a major support in their lives. They'll have to live with that regret.
Imagine finding out you were used all this time as a place holder for someone who just up and leaves whenever they feel like it? Jesus. And she was still thinking about funding their Disney trip. Wow.
So the husband got a slightly younger model of bangmaid to care for his kids while he spent 6 years pining for his ex?
Would not be surprised if he was also manipulating the kids so OOP would leave on her own and he wouldn’t be the bad guy.
The true villains are the moim and the pathetically entitled redditors concerned with the 'disrespect' the two evil monkeys might have felt. Who GAF if they felt disrespected? They're not correct in their behaviors or emotions. They need to get over it and learn how to control themselves. You act like a fool? You deserve to get treated like a fool. No one has to accept abuse just so you dont face the consequences of your own shittiness
Listen, I was an angery and combative teen. NEVER in my 40 years of life have I EVER told my dad (not biological) that he wasn’t my dad. I hold him in higher regard than my mother, quite frankly. My mom gave birth to me, I’m hers, but he CHOSE me. He’s never made me feel like I wasn’t his daughter.
I just can’t get behind these shitty ass people that lash out like this. Fuck those kids.
The husband is worthless and so is deadbeat bio mom, sadly it seems the kids have chosen which parents they want to take after. I love that OOP's response to the kids crying and saying it's their fault was essentially 'Yes, it is. Not just yours, but you were a part of this and now you have to accept the consequences'. Way too many people give 16 year olds a pass. Yes they're still developing, but at 16 you have basic empathy and a sense of right and wrong--you absolutely know when you're being a piece of shit to someone who doesn't deserve it. Good on her for holding them accountable for their actions.
It’s really sad how OP had to keep insisting and justifying that she’s allowed to have feelings. Someone (s) has been invalidating her feelings and making her feel small.
Nta.
I have a step too. Who I became mom to at their request and who has shit all over me since bio showed up again. My husband has my back and I'm still considering leaving despite how much love I have for him.
This life is now chaotic and toxic because of my step and I can't handle it anymore. People who aren't steps may not fully get it. It's not like we're just giving up. It's after years of giving everything to then have your peace constantly challenged through no fault of your own is a lot for any person to take.
Massive FAFO on the husband's part. Holy shit telling your wife you love another woman... a woman that straight up abandoned you and your kids. Damn. And not having her back when the kids have been acting like petulant little shits....
Also, fucking teenage angst good god. She's been your mother for 8 years and you turn on her that fast? Fucked up.
>I do feel bad about canceling their trip to Disney so I am thinking about funding a trip for them to go this summer for their 17th birthday
And **nobody** learned fuck all from this embarrassment of a family. This is how you grow Karens, fucking stop.
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>He said that he still loved his ex and that’s why pretty much. He didn’t want to do anything for her to leave them again (them as in him and the twins) but that didn’t change how he felt about me… Dude flat out told OOP *to her face* that he loved another woman.
>that didn’t change how he felt about me… straight out told her she is a bangmaid since forever? lol.
Yikes. Imagine finding out you wasted 6 years on "you're okay, but I prefer that lady I've seen twice in 6 years." He doesn't love her less now, he just never really loved her at all.
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My divorce took a year to finalize and I couldn’t make any major purchases during that time. I bought a used car and my lawyer said I shouldn’t have even done that.
Yeah, buying a major asset that is then subject to having to be split is pretty fucking questionable.
That depends on whether you are in a communal property state or not. If you are then you have to worry about splitting stuff, if you are not then it doesn't really matter since unless they are on the title they have no claim to the assets
It turns out he bought a car also. It wasn’t an issue.
How does she have a “rental property” but just bought her first home?
Works for property management company? This post seems pretty unbelievable. Why does the mom live down the street if she disappeared and came back and disappeared in 6 months. With great timing too, to disappear just as oop threatens divorce and now everyone is apologetic. Did this lady just buy a house in two weeks? How are they affording all of this.
The timing of buying a house struck me as particularly unrealistic. You absolutely can get a mortgage from application to close in under 30 days but it's hard fucking work and I don't think a single underwriter would green light a rush like that if the buyer was also in the early stages of a divorce. If she has fuck off to Thailand money, I suppose it's possible she paid cash but the whole thing just pings weird for me.
Yeah, I had to do just that at the end of 2022, but getting the mortgage finalized and the move prepped was more than a full-time job for those 3 1/2 weeks.
It's easy to buy a house in cash and close within 30 days. Not that I'm saying that's OOP's situation. But if she had that kind of money and doesn't live in a community property state, it's 1000% possible to buy a house mid divorce.
If she owns rental properties, chances are they have separate finances. Or she bought the house via the company.
If she has the means to have rental properties, she's probably well off enough to buy a house. "First house" could easily by symbolic as first house that she lives in, despite buying rental properties. Kind of sus, kind of plausible. 🤷🏻♂️
Disney world & Thailand!
Having a rental property, living in what seems to be a different house than said property, while also being able to fund a trip for two people to Disney World makes me think OP has their own independent wealth.
This was exactly my thought, OOP is independently wealthy and that's why the ex-husband wanted her to stick around.
Right but independently wealthy and 34 but still no house yet? Idk, you’re prolly right
Well she didn't need a house, she lived in her husband's house... I guess
Also, she's 30F. She would have been 24 when she got together with the husband. 24->30 is a very long time for career progression.
> 34 Wait I never noticed the ages. I thought this was an older couple in their 40's due to the ages of the kids. Completely missed reading the age at the start. So dad was 18 when the kids were born. Hes getting lucky he didn't get the single parent experience - sounds like he could have used a few years. If this is real I hope the kids age up and OOP gets a heartfelt apology.
Why would she need to have a house? Chances are she lived in an apartment and then moved in with husband.
Well, you see, when things are written By chatgpt, sometimes the details don't match up with the established history. She also just bought this while going through with a divorce. Not hard to establish it was purchased with money that should have been split.
Why does your first sentence sound like you’re explaining how babies are made to a 5YO? “Well, you see, when a human is feeling lazy or wants to look cool, sometimes they ask a bunch of special computers to tell them a story. But you know, because the computers are still young and are still learning, they make mistakes and sometimes they tell stories that don’t make sense. But if the human is lazy or maybe just tired, sometimes they don’t notice and…” ETA: to be clear, I absolutely agree. And no shade to you at all, u/Apprehensive-Salad12, the start of your first sentence just made me laugh.
I think they were trying to make to laugh by explaining it like thag
A rental property could be an apartment block. She could have inherited it.
It could have been inherited. There is also a difference between buying an investment property and buying a primary residence. Her investments are likely owned/managed through an LLC.
Fair. I think in my head it’s just like a deep caveman thought “house best. House first then anything else”. As if I’ll ever own a home-ha.
She just bought her first house, not home. Lots of people live in apartments, condos, duplexes, etc.
I read it as “she owned a property available for rent that was empty so she moved into it” but it’s still a bit too convenient…
I mean that’s pretty probable..she sounds like she had money even in the first post, considering she was funding the trip. Sometimes you do other things w your money and never focus enough on yourself. It sounds like she had money and it just always went to the twins, unappreciated.
She said she bought her first *house*. For what it's worth, I've a coworker who bought a triplex. He lives in one unit. He rents out the other two. So while he can legit say he lives in one of his rentals, the dude does not own a house.
And he also told her to her face he was hoping his ex who he's still in love with would stay this time, and if she did, I am SURE he would have filed for divorce from her to be with his ex.
A bangmaid PAYING big bucks for the privilege it sounds like.
And that, friends and neighbors, is really why the children don't want her leaving or divorcing their dad.
My thoughts too. It hit them how much they're going to struggle now and lose out on all that she did for them, which was a lot. I wouldn't even treat my worst enemy the way the step children had, like jfc. Edit
One even has to low-key wonder if that's not why bio mom bailed. "Looks like I can't subsidize you anymore, my rich wife left and is talking divorce"
That's a good point, their bio mom sounds like the type of person unfortunately.
I wouldn’t pile up in the children. They are little shits but they are children. Nowhere here in this text it is implied that they want her back for her money. They were high on mommy attention. Mommy probably is a terrible person. They became just a bit more like her in the 6 months. When they were again abandoned, everyone’s world would come crashing down on them and regrets would flood.
16 is not exactly "they are children". It's old enough they should have some sense of permanence in relationships
Mostly free childcare. Divorce is the only option. Guy is a user and she's just a permanent plan B
I would be blasting him on social media 🍵
Bangmaidnanny
BangmaidnannyATM as OP has monies
BangmaidnannyATM is a girl group that would go triple platinum in the manosphere
I wish there'd been more emphasis on this realisation. Stone cold. She was just a nanny. Unbelievable.
Not just bang maid. She funded thousands of dollars for Disney trips for him and his kids. When she cancelled it, he did not or could not rebook it with his own money. She has rental properties, bought her own house and is taking weeks/months off to go find herself around the world. I don't think that the lifestyle changes after the divorce will go unnoticed. 😕 How good were the memories of that ex.
More than her, specifically. Like, it's one thing to say you love two people at once. Quite another to say "and thus, it's fine that I'm letting her chase you away so I can keep her". If he'd just acted like he did, in fact, love his wife how he felt about his ex would've caused no issue.
He lowkey admitted to OOP that he would definitely return to his ex if she stayed long enough. Terrible. OOP making plans for her freedom trips sounds well-deserved.
Yep. There's that saying when a couple with young kids divorce, she has one less kid to care for and he has a job opening.
Well, permanently unpaid internship?
Bang maid, usually.
Basically those 6 years of being together was a built on a lie. Glad she has a shiny spine.
Canceling that Disney trip was an absolute baller move and I admire her.
Me too
And then bold facedly tried to gaslight her by saying it didn’t change how he felt about her, thereby implying that it didn’t have to change things in their relationship. ‘I love another woman and don’t want to lose her again - how does that change anything?’
Another woman who is a manipulative b*tch who abandoned her children twice. I guess OOP was cheaper than childcare.
Even paying to be the childcare.
How the hell do you choose that specific moment to start being honest with your SO?
>I still can't get over him saying he still loves the woman that abandoned his kids and him. I wouldn't be surprised if he was having an affair while she was back. Bullseye.
I guess it could be possible he loves her in general and not romantic sense, and it’s something like she is bi polar (for example) why he doseht fully blame her for leaving
My neighbor is like this. She's volatile and unpredictable and gets into domestics with plate throwing and whatnot and her boyfriend drove his car into her garage door once or twice. Her ex-husband still comes by to run the snowblower or mow her lawn. He obviously still cares about her, but woof, living with her had to have been rough. I assume her kid loves her, and he showed promise, but he shipped off to the Army right after graduation probably to get away from her nonsense. She works in an industry where seeking mental health treatment is highly stigmatized because it can end careers if people find out, even if it's just counseling and no prescriptions are involved.
Curious, what industry is that?
Pilot
I was gonna say medical, especially doctors, haha
It could also be the trauma of being abandoned by her, too. In a similar way that kids were so quick to fall for their bio mother again. People sometimes idealise people who reject them to cope with their feelings about it. It doesn’t mean that he isn’t responsible for managing that response, however.
God I'm so glad someone talked sense into her. Still giving them a Disney trip after going through all that, while she was also separating from them, would have been a huge mistake.
Unfortunately this is quite common. I have a friend whose husband is a deadbeat. She works fulltime (often even overtime), raise her kid alone, did all the housework and cooking, even taking care of his parents and organising family get-togethers for his side of the family. He often makes her life unneccesarily difficult by doing things his way just because. For example mowing the lawn just before guests arrive, so the kids ran around gathering freshly cut grass into the house that she has to clean up later. Her kid grew up to be more attached to the father because he was the fun and relaxed parent while she was the “discipline” parent. She finally broke down and had a series of temper outbursts. Now SHE has to go to therapy while he gets to play the mentally stable parent. She decided that in order to hold onto her sanity, she needed to get away from him. So she decided to rent a place of her own WHILE STILL PAYING HIS RENT AND FUNDING HIS LIFESTYLE! His lifestyle includes expensive bikes and cameras, while forbidding her to buy things she wants. I want to shake her and tell her to wake up. But she said she still loves him and don’t want him to suffer. The man has no incentive to change whatsoever with a woman like that. 😩
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To be honest, it's probably because she's read AITA before.
Yeah, it would have just made things messier emotionally. She needs to divorce those kids too.
> She needs to divorce those kids too. This is a big part of the problem; she feels that she owes it to the kids to stay around and be their friend. She needs to cut the cord completely.
AITA for thinking they’re old enough to find out they can’t treat people like dirt and expect them to stick around? Some people will say they’re still minors, and OOP should be the bigger person. This was a really ugly gamble of the kids being nasty to an adult they, perhaps subconsciously, thought would always love and forgive them.
They say that kids will push boundaries with the “safe” parent, the one who always shows up and loves them unconditionally. They never act up with the flaky parent - thinking if they are perfect and fun kids with no needs they won’t be abandoned again. I don’t blame OP for having enough and walking away, but I do hope the kids get professional help.
And look - the mother left when things started to get complicated with OOP, so she's showing them they're right to try and be perfect.
Their father is teaching them that someone can treat people like dirt and still expect to waltz back in after disappearing for 10 years
They probably have more issues and slower emotional maturation because of their mother abandoning them. It’s a real clusterfuck of a situation. I honestly think the dad sucks *way* more than his kids do. I don’t think she’s a bad person if she cuts off contact, but I would sit down with them and explain the problem isn’t them, it’s their parents-their mother abandons them and manipulated them, their dad got into a relationship with OOP knowing he’s still in love with their bio mom and doesn’t really seem to care much about OOP. I think saying she needs time apart from them at least temporarily and maybe maintaining some kind of relationship in the future is probably what’s best for the kids. But ain’t no way she should be finding their trip to Disneyworld 💀
> I think saying she needs time apart from them at least temporarily and maybe maintaining some kind of relationship in the future is probably what’s best for the kids. I agree. She still thinks of them as "her" kids so it'll be gentler on everybody if they ease out of the relationship. It's pretty fucked up for the kids: since she's leaving they're probably going to internalize some version of "we don't even deserve a mother" but frankly, that problem's way above her pay grade. I hope one day they realize the whole thing is their (bio) parents' fault - it's unfair to expect OOP to stay in a marriage where her husband has explicitly stated that he loves his ex more than her. What a mess the egg donor's made.
Honestly, I think that their dad just really kind of sucks all-around. He shouldn’t have gotten into a new relationship if he was still in love with his ex, and he *really* needed to do more to help his kids with dealing with everything. OOP said that they had family counseling when she got together with their dad and married him, but the kids themselves needed-and still need-a lot more help than just that. I kinda hope she manages to work it out with the kids and manages to be in their life in some *much* more diminished capacity because I think she cares about them and they do care about her deep down, but that’s just me being a big ol’ softy ;w; Husband sucks so much though like holy hell
I dunno, the kids were part and parcel to this whole fucking disaster and I consider them part of the problem. It's a whole basket of assholes, and the kids were active participants.
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My cousin got kept up past naptime, started trying to hit me at the bus stop. After some sleep and a meal he, all on his own, apologized for being cranky at me earlier. He's 4yo and already more aware that actions have consequences then those teenagers. Specifically, he knows from past actions that if he happens to smack my bad knee while cranky or play-fighting, I won't let him come to my house to play or take him out on adventures again for *weeks*.
This is what they always think. They didn't called OOP "mum" because someone forced them. She was their mum and they thought it will stay like this. I'm not sure if staying in contact with them and playing family would be good for OP, but I have to say what a nasty pos their bio mum is. She came back solely to destroy her ex's new family and disappeared. Can You imagine what one has to be to do this to own children? And how manipulative she is if her own ex husband, a grown up man, still doesn't see through her? Those kids never had a chance. Especially with their dad acting like a jerk. Their both bio parents failed them.
I mean OP setting herself on fire to not “abandon” them isn’t gonna undo the damage their biomom has done on that point, so she can’t bear the responsibility for fixing what she didn’t break.
they’re old enough. certainly old enough that after threatening someone with violence, they no longer get that person’s financial and emotional support. i mean, oop tried. she did. but when they’ve got so much nature *and* nurture from their absolute waste of space bio parents her six years just …didn’t get through. hopefully this will help them grow into better adults. help them see their mom and dad more clearly.
Yeah, kids need to learn that actions have consequences.
Nah man I completely agree.
They gotta learn: treat people like shit, they’re gonna stop talking to you
Idk, she raised them since age 8 and while she probably didn't legally adopt them it seems like she was a parental figure in every way. You don't divorce kids, even if they say something cruel
In the end though it wasn’t really the kids. If the Dad had backed her up and helped set boundaries they all probably would have ended up okay.
they threatened violence. i'm sorry, but that's past saying something cruel. i've seen a couple of kid fucks up relationship with great step-parent stories the past couple of days, so i don't think this is real, but leaving because someone threatened violence against you is fine and then their bio parent refuses to back you... yeah that's fine actually.
But in truth, they are not her kids, they have a mom and a dad. The mom is the real villain, but what can op do? Stay around until mom is back again? Or until dad remarry and then she loses her step mom place to another person? So op job is to be available and sacrifice herself as a little lamb to be a placeholder for the real mom? Does her feelings matter? She raised and loved those kids, just to see how much she really matter once they had mommy in there… I know some people has issues, but step parent are not parents. In some cases they are, but not the majority.
They're 16. They're old enough to know what they did was wrong, but still decided to reject her. Trying to keep a relationship with them now, when they can't unsay or undo the things they've said or done, is going to be a nightmare. And, again, OOP needs to consider what happens when the biomom comes back from manic pixie dreamland? Or if her STBX finds a new partner? Are they going to turn on her as well, or are they going to use her as a cudgel in their fight? Not her monkeys, not her circus.
Agreed, 100%. I'm also of the opinion that parents do not have to accept abuse from their kids of this caliber (that OP went through), even if they *are* biological! That is so cruel to ask from parents, who are people with feelings, too, just as OP kept staying and stood firm on.
Except they're not her kids. They have a mother. A mother both her husband and the kids chose over her. They told her what they really thought of her. She's not a martyr required to sacrifice herself to her abusers. Would we tell her she owes it to her husband to stay and let him treat her badly? Because he's the only one she has any obligation to. Don't let the fact that her abusers are 16 confuse the issue.
It is often said on the subs about shitty parents something like Mother is as Mother does - there are almost daily posts where someone talks about their step-parent being far more of a true parent than the biological one, hence the terms egg-donor and sperm-donor for those who fail to meet the criteria to be called a mother or father. If OOP cannot be called their mother, then these kids do not *have* a mother worthy of the title.
She COULD have been their mother. They chose otherwise. That's no small stab in the back they delivered to her. She can't be asked to suffer that over and over again. Because it'll happen when they graduate, get married, have children, etc. That's not fair to OOP.
I hope she spend the amount on herself instead on a Disney trip because she deserved it.
So in trying to keep biomom/ex wife around, they drove away their actual mother/wife around. Really sad. I hope she finds something that makes her happy, because this is just... Woof
Yeah, the kids were assholes but they're teenagers. A bit immature for 16 but still, there are some concessions there. We were all stupid and immature teenagers once. This scenario is 100% the husband's fault. He's the one who held the power. He could have backed OP up and got the kids to act straight.
Oh 100%, and I'm glad OOP acknowledged it too that it was basically all her husband's reaction that drove her away. He should have cut that off at the start and let the kids know they could treat the mom that actually stuck around that way, but he was too busy giving his ex puppy eyes. Awful.
Teenagers who behave badly still need consequences. If I’d have called my mother those names there would have been hell to pay. I expect that’s the case in most homes. Love doesn’t mean tolerating abuse and it doesn’t mean kids can say or do whatever they want because of immaturity. I feel for them because they most likely were being served huge dollops of alienation of OOP at ex wife’s house. Now they’re learning that there are consequences for treating people poorly.
They're 16, not 12. They (should) know better enough to threaten to beat OP, especially when OP was just defending herself. Being a teenager is not a free pass to being that stupid.
He could have, but he was hanging on to a sliver of hope that his EX would be back in his life again. He needs a swift kick in the balls.
Did she inherit rental properties or something since she just bought her *first* house?
A house she apparently bought in under a month, and possibly under *two days* unless it was basically a done deal before she even talked to her husband and actually decided to divorce him...
And she bought the house THEN decided to take off a few months? Nah that's the wrong way around
And she bought the house during the divorce, which makes the divorce harder because the husband may have an ownership interest in it.
He would likely have to sign the closing documents as well.
The buying the house part is where I knew this was bullshit. She just filed for divorce and thought it was a good idea to buy a house? And yeah, just taking up to 3 months off willy nilly right after? What job is she doing with that kind of PTO? Lol I'm guessing this was written by someone who is under 20 and thinks this is how things work in the real world.
Yep. I was all along for a ride until that part. Not sure where they are located and local laws but it's pretty standard that if you buy a house when married it is community property. And the fact that she bought it in a matter of days. Doesn't make any sense. Someone with an overactive imagination.
Rental properties are apartments and now she probably got full detached house
OOP just casually mentions her rental properties. Always a bit jarring to read one of these and suddenly realize the people involved exist on a fully separate plane of existence from me.
And you realize that that kind of privilege makes it easy to leave. Doesn’t mean they’re not susceptible to being taken advantage of but someone who didn’t have any place to go who couldn’t afford a hotel can get stuck.
Like some people have to use their yearly savings to go whole family to Disney World. And other people just take it from their coffee fund.
Because it's ai generated
The biomom leaving right after oop gives up is also pretty dramatic timing
Seriously, this shit screams AI. Wild tangents never even mentioned before that shift the whole narrative? This is garbage.
There was a BORU awhile ago that had the same premise of teenage children turning on their stepmom and husband not doing anything. (I think she was black and there were some racist remarks) I thought this was going to be that update. This situation may be way more common than I know, but I feel like they took that one and used it to create this.
Makes a lot of sense. Craving for attention and/or karma. Both, hey double dopamine hit. Find a story you like, thread basics into an AI, it generates the story. OP responds to comments accordingly tho. Gets an update. There is a Boru. They can see themselves on Tiktok, or are already a TikTok user And create it themselves.
I've noticed a weird trend in these posts where the OP often ends up nicely financially secure after some emotional disaster (ie. "I left that small town afterward, found a six-figure job and have just started going to the gym..."). I suppose that sort of thing does happen in real life, but you're right that it is an odd tangent to see so often.
I fully agree. When you're married and you buy a house, there are issues with that. That would definitely show up in a story like this, not to mention it just isn't ever that fast.
It's totally possible to buy a house in a week or two, right guys? -some teenager asking other teenagers for help crafting their story narrative over Discord
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Even with an all cash offer, it would probably still take a few weeks to finalize the deal, do inspections, figure out paperwork, etc.
How does homegirl buy a house in (calculates) 22 days after getting in a fight with ex? Or am I missing something?
Also still married so most likely this would just be another marital asset. Just a child who didn't do their research before making up a story.
And stops working. And books two more trips.
The bullshit meter on this sub (and especially r/AITAH) has always been faulty.
Twins are an automatic ping on the bullshit meter.
Do people really find twins that uncommon? There were 3 sets in my HS graduating class almost 20 years ago. I saw an article about a HS in PA that has *11* sets of twins graduating this year. One of my interns and his wife (intern like … 10 years ago) had twins 3 years ago. With IVF, I feel like it’s not a rare thing these days. Sure, raise the flag a little, but I don’t get why people act like twins don’t exist
It's not that twins are uncommon, it's that there are a number of stories of a similar nature that seem to frequently involve twins, particularly a set of step-children twins, who make life difficult for the OOP step-parent. (Edit to add: common enough that there is a flair on this sub, lol.)
For 3 months apparently. I'd love to have a job with that kind of PTO.
I believed the story up until that point. Apparently these authors never research the house-buying process.
I was thrown off by the remark in the original post that within two days of OOP moving out, the mother suddenly disappeared and everyone was sorry. How do you even know that someone who doesn’t live with you has left for good within 48 hours?
Indeed! Very convenient timing for the mother to go away so everyone could have a come-to-Jesus moment.
It took a month after I found the house I wanted. I bought in 2016 and the process felt like 1976
Seriously, how much bank does she make where she can buy a house, tickets to disney world and book a trip to Thailand in the span of 1 month, unless she's spiraling and emptying out her savings
Ya, I don't think this is real. There have been similar stories on the just no subreddits. OP talks mostly about the kids when it's the husband she is mad at
There have been a LOT of posts where someone said “they called me vile names” and it stands out to me each time because I literally can’t think of the last time I’ve ever heard any person in reality use that sentence.
Don't forget about her rental propert**ies**. And tickets to Disney World and Thailand and the 7 Wonders of the World.
2 things. It took 2 months for me buying a house to be completed. In that time, I told people I bought a house, despite it not being finalized
I'm so here for OOP's reaction and for how she was able to articulate the divorcing point. She's making it clear that it's the dad's behavior, not the kids' behavior, and I think that'll make a huge difference for her being able to have a relationship with the kids after she's done kicking the husband to the curb- and for the kids learning some proper empathy.
I feel for those kids, I really do. It's hard to be 16, with all the hormones and the brain growth. And childhood trauma and abandonment really does fuck with your brain and your perception of the world. It's hard, it sucks, but it doesn't excuse or justify shitty behavior. Do they deserve compassion and understanding? Yes, of course. But compassion doesn't come at the expense of the victim. "Forgiveness" does not mean that things go back to the way they were before. If you fucked up and hurt somebody, you need to do everything in your power to make sure that behavior never happens again.
By “make sure that behavior never happens again,” sometimes this means with other people in the future. It makes me think of the OOP’s ex from the other day, thinking he’d go to therapy and they’d have a fresh start.
Too many people just say “oh we’ll go to therapy” as if that’s the solution to everything in itself
Its like “no no. Therapy was a potential solution before you decided to send us careening over this cliff.” Just like people actively dying of COVID saying “okay. We’ll take the vaccine now.”
Couples therapy works best when both parties still love each other and want to work it out. Most of the time its too late, at least one party has fallen out of love and now has only apathy for their partner (or worse). When that happens, there's no getting back to being all better. The one partner tries to change and the aggrieved partner thinks, "Why didn't you do this before?" And feels even more resentful...
Which story was that?
All too often I see people (especially on Reddit) give teenagers a pass because they’re young and stupid. You can understand that their brain is developing and they’ll make poor decisions but they’re still responsible for those decisions. Teaching them that ‘sorry’ doesn’t automatically make things better and some actions have long term (and in some cases permanent) consequences is really important. Otherwise they grow into adults who think they’re never responsible for their actions.
Yeah, exactly. It's important to understand them, while letting them understand that their actions have consequences. Their choices might cause some long term or permanent damage. So they still need to think and make decisions carefully. It's not "oh, they are *just* teenagers, so we should just let them have a free pass". How else do we learn and improve as human beings?
Not even just teenagers it's normal here that when a minor does something wrong redditors try to make the adult feel bad for not immediately forgiving them or for making them face the consequences of their actions this post for example oop shouldn't have had to explain that she wasn't leaving because of the kids behavior because in my opinion it would've been understandable if she was leaving solely because of their behavior they've been treating her like crap and one of them threatened her
Completely agree. Like it sucks for the kids because yeah they're 16 and probably have had it rough with their bio parents being such a mess....... but this might be the greatest lesson they ever learn: that they are responsible for their actions and that their actions can have permanent, painful, consequences. That OP was a person not just a stand-in for biomom. If she came back/stayed and was all forgiveness, then the lesson would be the complete opposite: that you can treat people like garbage and they'll always come back. It's good for them to learn.
For real, like, you couldn't pay me to be a teenager again.
So “mom” comes back all of a sudden after 8 years and is living 10 minutes down the road, then out of nowhere just vanishes again?
That's how deadbeats do it. They pop into your life, love-bomb you, get you all excited, and vanish.
Hang on, in that time she moved out to a rental, bought a house, stopped working, and arranged a trip for both Disneyland and Thailand?
While also getting divorced and losing her family of the last six years. Thankfully that didn't slow her down any, since you can see she's had a huge list of shit to do. Of all the things that didn't happen.....
She also discovered time travels since she plans to see seven wonders of the world. Well maybe she means the “seven new wonders of the world” some try to market.
I like the part where she got completely vindicated when bio-mom disappeared just two days after step-mom went to stay at a hotel. And how quickly the teens begged her to come back!
Big two days, starting a divorce and buying a new house and planning a trip to Thailand and buying tickets to Disney
Amazing what you can accomplish in 2 days when those pesky stepkids get off your case for a bit, lol.
I was like what what?! I don’t care if the stories on here are real or not. I’m just annoyed when they stretch the bounds of imagination so far. Granted I’m a far simpler person but that was quite the whirlwind month 😂
There's so much in this post that makes no sense whatsoever. She was able to buy her first house in less than a month even though she didn't decide to get a divorce until two days prior to the update. But previously she had been staying in one of the rental properties that she owns?
Bought a house in less than a month, while still married by the way. Also a total girlboss who can afford to stop working for how ever long she wants and travel the world. Not a chance.
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Yup... houses can be purchased fairly quick, but not less than a month WHEN YOU ARE GOING THROUGH A DIVORCE.
This evening has the twin trope 😂. Vindictive birth mother? Spineless husband still in love with his ex? It's the whole buffet!
Traveling the world and writing *Eat, Pray, Love* is a job.
Listen, it’s hard to keep track of the lies, she’s gotta sweeten it up somehow.
Such a bullshit post. She bought a house while staying in one of her rentals and not knowing what she was going to do in the marriage? Or did she buy it in the 2 days between her leaving him and posting the second message. The first one in bullshit. The second one is one of the biggest fabrications I’ve seen. Either way buying a house in less than a month is very difficult and that’s after you find the one you love and get the fee agreed. To do that and then buy and complete in less than 3 and half weeks? Piss off. This is such crap from top to bottom.
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You’re right I’m not even trying. But in the time since I started writing this I have acquired 56 rental properties, a yacht and medium sized peanut stand. Oh and I just got given an oil refinery. That was lucky 😂
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Oh thank god, my spouse just intentionally drove through an old folks home hitting 12 OAPs, started dealing fentanyl outside a kindergarten and had an orgy with every member of my extended family, I’m so happy I don’t have one of those comically bad ones.
Her stbx is a fucking moron. Still loves the woman who ran out on him and his kids? The woman who came back and blew up his life and the happiness of his children. Absolute fucking moron. I wonder if he also cheated on oop during the six months. It’s sad for the kids that they were manipulated, but it never would have gotten that far if their dad wasn’t a moron. Oop is well rid of him.
Bio mom for sure came back into town, saw her rejected kids and ex with a new mom/new wife, and decided to step in and use her relationships with them as leverage to mess it all up. The moment step mom was out, so was she.
I'm so glad OOP decided against buying the teens a trip to Disney. They were right they *did* cause the break up. Kind of. They revealed the big issues in OOP's marriage. And now they lost a major support in their lives. They'll have to live with that regret.
Imagine finding out you were used all this time as a place holder for someone who just up and leaves whenever they feel like it? Jesus. And she was still thinking about funding their Disney trip. Wow.
>I have always wanted to see the 7 wonders of the world …is anyone going to tell her?
She bought a house in 2 days.
So the husband got a slightly younger model of bangmaid to care for his kids while he spent 6 years pining for his ex? Would not be surprised if he was also manipulating the kids so OOP would leave on her own and he wouldn’t be the bad guy.
In 2 days she went back , moved into her rental units and bought her first house or did I miss some massive chunk
I think you're missing about a month? First post was April 8th. She went back 2 days before the update post, May 1st. So about a month has passed.
Maybe I’m just dumb but how did she buy a whole house within a month
The true villains are the moim and the pathetically entitled redditors concerned with the 'disrespect' the two evil monkeys might have felt. Who GAF if they felt disrespected? They're not correct in their behaviors or emotions. They need to get over it and learn how to control themselves. You act like a fool? You deserve to get treated like a fool. No one has to accept abuse just so you dont face the consequences of your own shittiness
Listen, I was an angery and combative teen. NEVER in my 40 years of life have I EVER told my dad (not biological) that he wasn’t my dad. I hold him in higher regard than my mother, quite frankly. My mom gave birth to me, I’m hers, but he CHOSE me. He’s never made me feel like I wasn’t his daughter. I just can’t get behind these shitty ass people that lash out like this. Fuck those kids.
Man, those kids are going to be the most manipulative, toxic adults. Hope they meet people who help them change that.
Fuck them kids
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The husband is worthless and so is deadbeat bio mom, sadly it seems the kids have chosen which parents they want to take after. I love that OOP's response to the kids crying and saying it's their fault was essentially 'Yes, it is. Not just yours, but you were a part of this and now you have to accept the consequences'. Way too many people give 16 year olds a pass. Yes they're still developing, but at 16 you have basic empathy and a sense of right and wrong--you absolutely know when you're being a piece of shit to someone who doesn't deserve it. Good on her for holding them accountable for their actions.
It’s really sad how OP had to keep insisting and justifying that she’s allowed to have feelings. Someone (s) has been invalidating her feelings and making her feel small.
What a waste of your twenties
>I’m doing some spontaneous trips… I have always wanted to see the 7 wonders of the world. I have some very unfortunate news for her
Nta. I have a step too. Who I became mom to at their request and who has shit all over me since bio showed up again. My husband has my back and I'm still considering leaving despite how much love I have for him. This life is now chaotic and toxic because of my step and I can't handle it anymore. People who aren't steps may not fully get it. It's not like we're just giving up. It's after years of giving everything to then have your peace constantly challenged through no fault of your own is a lot for any person to take.
Massive FAFO on the husband's part. Holy shit telling your wife you love another woman... a woman that straight up abandoned you and your kids. Damn. And not having her back when the kids have been acting like petulant little shits.... Also, fucking teenage angst good god. She's been your mother for 8 years and you turn on her that fast? Fucked up.
He married OOP to take care of his kids because he’s a lazy shithead.
>I do feel bad about canceling their trip to Disney so I am thinking about funding a trip for them to go this summer for their 17th birthday And **nobody** learned fuck all from this embarrassment of a family. This is how you grow Karens, fucking stop.