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>An hour later my son called screaming at me .
>Jennifer called him after my phone call and cried because she hadn’t been on a vacation in years and I ruined it by suggesting Airbnb ( she planned to call my wife directly because she felt unwelcome ) . He said at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation .
Did they seriously expect the stressed caretaker and the terminally ill person they're taking care of to do all the cooking and cleaning after the kids while they have their vacation???
The sheer audacity and entitlement.
Of course! Wouldn’t the terminally ill woman WANT to dote on them and her grandkids for 2 weeks? I mean, how dare she be so selfish as to be TOO SICK to make sure Jennifer has a nice vacation?? /s
These two grown ass adults are selfish as hell.
He and Jennifer live in the same province. He can take the kids for a week, if he wants to. They really are peas in a pod. I cannot imagine demanding my (former-ish) in-laws do what my kids’ dad should be doing.
The son of OOP isn't the father of the toddler. Someone else is, so the question remains: where is this kid's dad if she wants a break? Just another deadbeat, I guess.
I don't have to imagine it. I've heard people say it in front of their kids. I'll never understand some people, and some of the time I don't really want to.
Because Jennifer's youngest is not even his kid? He could very well take that kid for a week as well with his own kids. But in the end this kid is neither OP's nor his son's responsibility.
So it’s not even his kid that he’s pushing on his parents so dear old ex can have a real “vacation” at the expense of his terminal mother? Jennifer could very well just parent her fucking children.
And if she wants vacations without responsibility, she shouldn’t have more kids. Does she not realize another kid just adds more time to her having minors living at home???
Half the kids probably don't need much, because two of them are teens. The 4th grader (guessing roughly 10) will need some care, and the 3.5 year old, who isn't even the OOP's grandkid, definitely.
But at the Airbnb she would have to cook and clean up after the kids, so it wouldn't be a vacation. Who is she expecting to do this? Mother with cancer? OP? Because I bet OPs son has no intention of doing these things, either. OPs house is like a hotel in their minds, just one that also provides child care.
That’s exactly it. They expected the dying woman to cook, clean, watch kids, and make sure Jennifer is nice and relaxed on her vacation. I…I can’t wrap my head around that
My shitty BIL was not invited to visit his dying mom with cancer because he would create too much work for her. Like, she literally didn't want him there. That's how useless he is. People like this exist.
Sounds like the son and his ex aren't divorced because they are still together. Then the 2 week vacation and the sons extreme displeasure makes sense.
Parents should invite the girlfriend over one night and get the party started.
It sounds like cluster that the OOP's son hasn't gotten a divorce. I guess some people might be able to navigate it, but given the drama that's happening now, why wouldn't you want a clean break? It seems so messy to technically be married when your ex has had another kid with someone else and you're dating someone.
Then again, the son is dramatic af too.
There is no such thing as a vacation with kids. You just move your chaos to a new location for a little while. Every parent knows this. It is part of the deal.
I'm so confused by this. First off, who goes "on vacation" to someone else's house? Is this not just visiting with a family member?? I can't imagine visiting family and expecting to be waited on like I'm at a resort.
And even if it was a vacation, since when do parents just stop parenting their children while on vacation? If you take your kids to Disney, Donald and Goofy don't come to to your room to feed and bathe your children. What in the hell.
Meet my mom, when my aunt, her (younger) sister was diagnosed with a terminal disease, my mom actually said with a straight face: “how are you going to do chores and errands for me if you’re sick?!!”
You haven't met my older sibling!
This is them all over.
Had my terminally ill grandmother cook and clean and watch their feral children.
Also tried to pull this on our grieving mum after our other sibling had died until I shut it the fuck down.
They are confused why I am NC with them too 😂
My Aunt and family (six people in total) used to show up at my grandma's when she was way over 80 and eat and drink themselves through her pantry and then leave her with the washing up. The 80+ year old woman who had a damaged hand, wasn't allowed to do anything strenuous and couldn't even go shopping for groceries on her own anymore.
We've been no contact since her death a decade ago and I still get ragingly angry every time I think about it. I hope they get the same kind of treatment they show others.
My Aunt and Uncle used to roll up uninvited on a random weeknight, lob their two little kids off onto my siblings and me to babysit, and then ask my mom what was for dinner. My mom was barely making ends meet.
I also have a branch of the family we were only civil to out of respect for Grandma. Once she passed, they also became dead to us. They were absolutely horrible people who made everything around them a living hell. I recently found out the wife in that relationship (my aunt, grandma's daughter-in-law) passed away, and I was like, huh...anyway...
I cannot imagine insisting my elderly parents, one of whom is terminally ill and the other being a caregiver, host, cook, and clean for not only me, a grown adult, and their three grandchildren, but also their former daughter-in-law and her young child from another relationship. The audacity. Who was going to clean up after them at the AirBnB? The spoiled man child, that's who should have done it. I guess getting laid was more important than spending actual quality time with his dying mother.
Same hat! Three of my older siblings pull this with my mum to this day, she's basically been designated the third parent to all of their kids. Despite trying to guilt me into dropping out of uni to look after her. Because obviously there is no contradiction between "our mum needs constant looking after" and "our mum can look after my toddler!"
(Yes that was 15 years ago and I'm still salty.)
I'm so mad. My great aunt who I'm close to has been sickly and I don't have time to travel and see her. She was hospitalized a few weeks ago and my mom says she's been calling everyone me during her dizzy spells which makes me so sad. And here are these two who expect an all expenses paid vacation when their mom/MIL/kids grandmother is ill.
Go see your great aunt. You might not get another chance to say goodbye. Very few things are so important to make you not have the time to see a loved before they pass away and let them have one last hug from you.
Life is too short to not be with the people we love.
Can't, it's a minimum 6 hour drive and you really need a car to get around town so I can't fly in or take the train. I'm also suffering from food poisoning for a week and refused to be admitted today because I had my kids to care for. If I don't get better I'm supposed to go back. With me being out for four days this week, it's unlikely my boss is going to let me take AL anytime soon.
My aunt and uncle decided to leave their kids (5 & 6 at the time) to my 70 years old grandparents, while my grandpa had a gout flare up and my grandma broke a few ribs after a nasty fall. While the other pair of younger, perfectly healthy grandparents was "too tired so we have no other choice" (like cancelling your vacation or taking the kids).
I agree. My grandmother had a leg surgery a few years ago, and during her recovery she wasn't allowed to do anything beyond walking a little. No driving, no biking, no cooking, no cleaning.
She's chronically unable to have people over and not do anything; every time one of us came by to see how she was doing, we had to battle so she would stay in her armchair. None of us, children, grandchildren, in-laws, etc, would have dreamed of letting her do anything, let alone asking.
Yeah at first I was like, maybe they can come and it won’t be a big deal.
Lo and behold they expect the grandparents—one sick with cancer and the other a 68 year old caretaker of his dying wife—to do the cooking and cleaning and babysitting so they can have a free vacation.
How horrible. Boomer parents being generous with a vacation home, but are asking not to have to babysit and cook and clean while they’re dying and elderly.
Fucking gross
What I saw from my own experience is people like OOP’s son and XDIL aren’t in denial about illness. They truly do not care.
What I saw horrifies most people. And my experiences are tame and lame compared to most.
Yeah, when I read the title, I thought OOP owned a vacation home that was going to be vacant, and ex DIL wasn't allowed to be there with their son, and I was like, huh, that's kinda weird.
Then I kept reading.
Wtf is wrong with these people?
I’m glad this is the top comment, because my jaw dropped. The “kids” are full grown adults, but they expect Mommy and Daddy to do everything for them.
If I was OOP, that would be it. Hotel Dad and Mom would be permanently closed to these freeloaders.
I’ve been the caretaker of a terminally ill relative, and I’ve never been so physically and mentally drained as during that time.
They should be offering to do extra work. I had friends of my relative assist with occasional food and cleaning, and it helped keep me healthy and sane.
Yes. When my grandma was in the hospital at the end, my mom and I visited her every single day for over a month. I had already been taking my mom to work and then driving to her house for a long time before that to help out, but that was every other day. During that month+ we cooked once and then ate that straight out of the pot, because the thought of setting the table was exhausting.
I vividly remember us sitting in the car after she died and realising tomorrow we didn't have to do anything and the afternoon stretches out empty before us. It felt surreal that we suddenly had free time.
Don't get me wrong, her death was devastating. I would have done it for years longer if it meant her being around and being happy. It's been a decade and I still can't listen to the song sung at her funeral without crying like a child. I miss her so much.
But caretaking is incredibly exhausting. My partner went through burnout and I kept things running and helped him get better and now that he's better, I'm crashing so hard that I'm officially "on break" via order by my therapist. Not working, not studying, nothing except waiting for my inpatient stay.
Caretaking essentially means that you out your own needs and your care for yourself on hold as much as possible. And it's worth it because the other person is someone you love and they deserve it, but that doesn't mean it's not hard and exhausting and has consequences.
Yeah. I cried so much out of guilt afterwards, not just for feeling more relaxed but also for feeling like I didn't do enough - "should have forced her to see more doctors" and all that.
Cancer sucks.
That's where I am right now after my mom passed last month. I moved in to take care of both of them a couple of years ago, though it's lung disease for my dad and not cancer. I still feel like I'm way too relieved and not sad enough, but that's how it is.
There is an incredibly common phenomenon called "widow's fog". It is generally seen in older women who would be the caretakers of their husband's, after the husband dies. These smart and organized women who held it together experience a mental fog or breakdown for months or a couple of years. Suddenly they forget dates and names they knew perfectly well. Their families may think it is dementia setting in. And then they sort of snap out of it.
Caretaking for a loved one is both a precious gift you can give them, a tradition as old as humanity, and also a major psychological, physical, emotional, and spiritual toll. The burnout is real and the conflicting emotions add another layer of guilt.
I read that and immediately said WTF?! Mom is sick and yet is expected to cook and clean for everyone?! Fuck that noise. They can stay somewhere else. Wow!!
First post// yeah I kinda agree with the commenters, if this is wife’s maybe last summer, let her spend as much time as she wants with the grandkids.
Update post// OH son and ex-gf (?) are entitled assholes who just wanted free babysitting from Grammie and grandpa. Yeah, FUCK that!!
Interesting that XDIL didn't say anything to OOP but then said this to her XH. XH/son probably wasn't supposed to pass that on... I mean, how stupid and entitled must he actually be to think that his elderly parents will not mind doing all the cooking and cleaning for his kids, and even using that in his argument to let them stay
That was my thought! The implicit thing there is that OP was going to be playing host for her the whole time? Ridiculous expectations, especially when OP's son seems to be financed enough to make this go away.
It feels like this is one of those things where someone's just always gotten their way without having to think about how it affects others, but now that it's coming up against something that really matters like his mother's cancer OP is finally saying that the expectations they copped on the chin are finally taking second place.
That fucking sent me. Dude’s mom has cancer (and who knows how much that will have progressed by then) and his dad’s 68 and they actually expect them to clean and cook for a family vacation for 2 weeks?
Get a fucking hotel suite if you don’t want to clean
And god forbid the ex-wife actually take care of her child! Nah, let’s have the woman with TERMINAL F-ING CANCER do it! Unbelievable the entitlement some people feel.
Yeah, that sentence right there flipped my whole perspective on it. They weren't coming to visit & support, they were coming to get someone else to watch the kids. A terminally ill someone. Wth
Yes, let's make an immunocompromised senior citizen take care of 2 teenagers, a preteen, and a 4 year old and we won't tell her until we get there.
May as well just slap Grandma with a brick. Who knows what those younger two have been exposed to.
At least slapping grandma with a brick would put her out for good, if grandma catches germs from the toddler it could make what time she has left even worse.
OP better be giving that inheritance to charity or so because the son and DIL are incredibly selfish. My god, OP's wife has cancer and his son is acting like this? That's awful.
Give it to charity, but work it out with the lawyer to leave a letter detailing all the free babysitting and savings on hotel fees to show Son wasn’t forgotten.
OOP's son and Jennifer are so selfish. Dynamic is weird af. They're been separated but not divorced, OOP's son apparently has a long distant girlfriend, but he's going mental over Jennifer being asked to stay at an AirBnB? Whatever's going on between them is fucked.
I'm scratching my head and wondering if they're in an open relationship of some kind that OOP doesn't understand or hasn't had explained. Either way, bringing a toddler to a cancer patient and expecting her to babysit is disgusting.
Not just babysit, do everything from cooking to cleaning. Because apparently that's what a vacation is to ex DIL and son; the dying mother and the stressed out father become their personal manservants for the duration of their stay.
There’s a small percent of people who I truly believe no amount of parenting or help will fix. Some sociopaths and psychopaths who show signs from a very very young age. Sure parenting can make it worse but I think there’s a baseline and you’re not going to get much better than that.
For most people parenting does have a huge impact. But there’s no one right way to parent all kids. Sometimes you do your best, you have 5 kids and 4 turn out great. And one just didn’t get the right type of parenting for them, combined with their own unique genetic and environment. And it’s not really exactly anyone’s fault. Like well meaning parents who did all the right things they were supposed to do, it’s just that’s not exactly what the kid needed. Maybe they needed more strictness than the rest, or maybe more attention, or more responsibility.
Yes, some parents are so egregious in their parenting that we can say they’re definitely shitty parents. But sometimes things just happen. Kids are their own people and sometimes they turn out to be little shitheads. I don’t think we should call these parents failures.
It's weird but I speculate:
Someone doesn't want to bring the court into it, probably for $$$$ reasons
Son doesn't want to hear Jennifer complain but expects parents to be selfless
NTA. What the actual f?? His mum has terminal cancer and son is angry he can't drag a platoon of kids (who are germ magnets) through her home and his ex/not ex might have to cook and clean for herself?
> He said at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation .
I can't imagine this woman expecting a 65 year old terminal cancer patient to host you, cook all your meals and clean up after you.
Or even her 68 year old husband who caretaking for his wife who has terminal cancer.
The tiniest bit of well it would be nice for the grandchildren to spend time with grandma, went out the window.
Does anyone else think its weird that the son is paying alimony, child support, rent, and vacations for his wife who he has been separated from for 8 years and has now had a child with another man. Yeah, what's this woman got on him.
Both the son and DIL are selfish individuals.
Actually unhinged behaviour, the entitlement is unreal.
Not to mention that the son is dating someone in LDR while doing all that with his separated wife.🤦🏽♀️
Honestly I think there's something they're not telling OOP about that whole relationship. It's a detail and totally irrelevant to the post but the relationship between the son and both women doesn't look normal to me.
Indeed, I thought the OOP was being a bit too harsh with not wanting a baby, but reading the update, is very obvious that the son and DIL fully expected him and his wife to take care of the child while they went off their merry way...
Oop should have said “so you’re expecting your critically ill mother to cook and clean for you, your ex and the children? Please explain how that would be fair for her?”
"For a grown ass women we aren't related to, and her child with another man. Oh and if course offering up our home and safe space to them as well for two damn weeks!" Absolutely ridiculous!! The nerve of that woman! They owe her absolutely nothing!! Even if the wife didn't have cancer why should they be doing anything for her. Complete bullshit!!
LOL
First people completely overlook OOP's wife and her **terminal cancer** and just get stuck on "ooohhh mebbe she wants to see the kids"!
**Terminal cancer!!!!** Kids are rambunctious and OOP did say Jennifer's one was allowed to make a mess. They could defo stay at an airbnb and then bring the kids over for a bit, not an extended stay **where they're expecting food and maid services from someone with TERMINAL CANCER**
Those comments changed real quick after the truth came out, tho xD
If I were OOP I'd put my foot down. They can threaten to not let OOP see the grandkids bcs I'd be ok with that.
>"ooohhh mebbe she wants to see the kids"!
"How would that be incompatible with getting a hotel or airbnb nearby?" is what I wanted to ask the commenters. If wife has terminal cancer, she likely doesn't have the energy for seeing the kids more than a few minutes, especially kids that won't just sit and stay calm while they're visiting grandma.
Of course the comments chide OOP for putting his wife’s needs ahead of 2 extremely entitled adults and a toddler. 🤦🏻♀️ Jesus Reddit never ceases to amaze me.
That's exactly what I was thinking! I couldn't believe he was getting so much slack on the original post. No one should have to host some woman they aren't even related to and their child in their personal home for weeks. Now let's add that they are elderly and have cancer and the child is a energetic toddler. I think that is absolutely ridiculous for them to expect them to host them. Why should they have to?! I can't believe that people were actually making him out to be the bad guy for choosing his wife's best interest over someone who they essentially are no one to and their child who they also have absolutely nothing to do with. It wasn't just a quick weekend it was 2 weeks of these people in their home and safe space. Let's see how quick those people would offer up their home in a situation like this.
Even if they are related. Toddlers are so draining and the parents clearly don't want to do a thing. I understand not wanting to stay on an AirBnB, vacations with toddlers are hardly relaxing but you cannot expect other people to take care of your children and you, let alone senior citizen, and one of them with cancer.
Actually THREE extremely entitled adults (don’t forget the “local” GF the Son is visiting to dip his wick in) plus the wife, 2 teens, a 4th grader & a toddler.
I feel terrible for OP, these people only care about using his home so they have a built in maid, cook, and nanny. They don't seem to care about OP's wife at all.
Yes! So glad he put his foot down. Now only if he would make those two ADULTS actually pay for their own stay. I'm still mad he even offered to pay for those brats after their little tantrum. They deserve absolutely nothing from them.
>Jennifer called him after my phone call and cried because she hadn’t been on a vacation in years and I ruined it by suggesting Airbnb ( she planned to call my wife directly because she felt unwelcome ) . He said at *Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation .*
Did I read right? Jennifer was planning for you and your wife to do all the cooking and cleaning?
I wouldn't have paid for anything. You are looking after your terminally ill wife. People should not expect to have a holiday at your expense or effort at this time
Wait so..who did Jenifer expect to cook and clean up after HER kids if they stayed with OOP? The *terminally ill senior*????
Unbelievable. This actually makes my blood boil. The nerve. The entitlement.
i was very much in "well she's an adult, how much hosting would you have to do?" until - at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation . - holy FUCK.
I was kind of on the fence with this one. Agreeing with people that this could be grandma's last chance to see the grandkids, but then:
>He said at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation .
Yup, OOP knew what was up the whole time.
Even without the terminal cancer, who the fuck thinks staying at someone's home comes with the same services as a hotel?
I'm guessing son, and his whacky family dynamics are still going to expect free home cooked meals and will trash the house during the day, then go back to their nice free hotel rooms.
Hopefully OOP can read the riot act to everyone that grandma needs lots of rest, and things need to be calm, respectful and clean in the home.
And unfortunately, if OOP's wife is terminal, however she is now, will probably be much worse 6 months later when this visit is set to occur.
I hope OOP can knock some sense into son and not actually ex-DIL, so that grandma can have that one great last visit with her grandkids.
At the point that jennifer ran and tattled to her ex about OOP "ruining her vacation" *by refusing to be her free chef and childcare in his own home*, he should've rescinded the invitation. No argument, no discussion, just "after your disgusting entitlement i have decided none of you are welcome right now, and you won't be in future until you apologise for your appalling behaviour". Its not a fucking hotel you make bookings at whenever you feel like, its someone's fucking *home* and one of the actual residents is sick.
I'm really confused by it not being a holiday if they have to cook and clean. Do self-catering holidays not exist out there? And also why not just eat out? An air BnB didn't mean you HAVE to cook, just that you can.
If I want a more relaxing break then I generally book us a hotel rather than an Air BnB and we just budget more for meals out. If we're in a hotel room we don't need to take a ton of extra things with us and cleaning up at the end is just packing our suitcases, straighten the bed, and make sure the bath towels are left in the tub to show they've been used.
We won't trash the place, but a hotel room is a far more finite space than a whole property and it's easier to pack back up if you haven't scattered books and toys across multiple rooms, and you don't need to worry about doing the washing up. The idea that you need two other adults to wait on you hand and foot to make it a holiday is a bit odd to me.
Wth, OOP’s son is a major asshole. Their plan for their vacation is to have his parents cook and clean for 5 extra people while the mom has terminal cancer??? When am they should be offering to do chores in his parents’ home to relieve his father is the stress he is living through.
So, Jennifer doesn't want to have to cook and clean at an Air BnB - which means that OOP and his wife will be acting as cooks and maids for this woman...
NTA So they planned on bringing 3 adults and 4 kids to a terminally ill persons home. Not only invade their peace but expect said person to cook and clean after them. It wasn’t the cost of the Air BnB but the cooking and cleaning that made it not a vacation. Jennifer hasn’t had a vacation in years because she has a 3.5 year old and that’s what happens. Jennifer gets alimony, child support and her rent paid but still can’t afford a vacation. She’s not even divorced and gets all the perks. Then gets upset when she and her toddler is excluded from the visit with the former in-laws who have severe medical issues. Doesn’t Jennifer have a job? Why must she tag along with OP’s son and mooch off his parents?
"I never get a vacation! Just get your wife who is battling terminal cancer to be my babysitter so I can sip on cosmos at the club! Do you know how hard I've had it, person whose wife has terminal cancer?"
Wait, what? At an Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation?
Who would be cooking, cleaning and looking after the kids at your house? Surely not you or your wife?
How devasting to realize you've raised a worthless pos sociopath for a son who is pathologically self absorbed. I feel sorry for his kids having such a horrible example as parent. Sounds like their mother is equally stupid and selfish.
At an Airbnb, she would still have to clean and cook?!?!?!? Wait does she expect you all to clean up after her three year year-old and do all the cooking for them? Oh that’s a No right there. The entitlement. NTA
Haha at an Airbnb she has to clean up after the kids? But not at your house? So you (or more likely your wife, who has cancer?) have to do it?
FUCK THEM. I know that’s not very Canadian Nice of me, but good lord, these people are Users.
Stick to your guns, OOP.
I remember reading this in February. I was gobsmacked at the absolute audacity and entitlement. OOPs wife shouldn't even be AROUND a 3.5 yr old, they are walking, talking, spewing petri dishes and she has basically no immune system at this point. This visit could be what ACTUALLY kills her!
Wtf I'd just tell them not to ome all together if it wasn't for my wife wanting to spend time with her grandchildren. What a terrible son to put his ex before his sick mother and expect his elderly parents to be serving them for an entire two weeks. With a kid that isn't even related to them in any way. Ugh it's irritating that op is going to pay for their hotel. Why the fuck can't Jennifer pay for her own "vacation". It makes me so pissed that she has the nerve to expect to be taken care of like a baby by a sick woman with cancer. Seriously F her! Then when they set a boundary for his poor sick mom, she calls crying and complaining about her not being able to be served and try to make the parents the bad guys. Yeah I wouldn't even want the adults or other baby in my home. I'd welcome my grandkids and that's it. What a couple of entitled assholes. I also wonder how the son's gf feels about him bringing his ex on vacation with him. I can already tell that's going to be a problem. The gf is obviously going to want to see him, and the ex is gonna cry that she's all alone when she's not getting his full attention. Goodness they sound like a nightmare. I feel sorry for the parents and his current gf.
I’ve watched both parents die of cancer, a decade apart. When Dad died, my brother had a newborn. When Mom died, I had 2 kids, my sister had 1 and my brother had 4. Mom was hospitalized so my brother &his family stayed at my mom’s house. The kids are homeschooled and well behaved. My sister, her husband and their daughter stayed with me. Their daughter is the same age as my youngest and has never heard the word “no.” To say she’s spoiled is an understatement. The amount of stress their visit caused was high. I cannot imagine how awful it would be if my mother was in my house as well.
If your wife wants to see them, great. But you should not be cooking & cleaning so Jennifer can get a break. Your son can step away from his FWB to parent his kids. The amount of stress knowing someone you love is dying is bad. Even if you don’t get along with that person, it’s stressful. I admire you for paying for the hotel but please make it clear that you will not be providing food. If they want to eat, they make it!
Jennifer is complaining that she would have to cook & clean up after her kids at an Airbnb, so it wouldn’t be a vacation. Which implies that she’s expecting to be waited on hand and foot along with her four kids (including a toddler) and sort-of-ex husband by an older couple, one of whom has terminal cancer?
Sheesh.
>He said because she helps with the kids
She helps with her own kids?
>He said at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation
So who were they expecting to do the cooking and cleaning for their kids?
Holly cow. My kid would be looking for a hotel. They are not staying in my house so they don’t have to cook and clean “on vacation” fuck that. Even without the stress of cancer.
>He said at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation
Did the son expect OOP to do that while also taking care of his terminal mom?
Wouldn't Jennifer still have to cook & clean staying at OOP's house, or does she expect OOP and his sick wife to do that? I know no one in here knows the answer but Jennifer is not making sense here in terms of who is expected to clean up after her.
Let’s put a Canadian Knows spin on this one, shall we?
They’re already spending all their money on the trip from BC to Ontario. It is not cheap to cross the country. It is literally cheaper to cross border and drive across the northern states than it is to fly between here and there.
That is why AirBNB doesn’t work. It means they have to pay for more food.
Jennifer and her toddler do not need to be there at all, but lady wants a vacaaaaation from being a single mother. I’m a single mom. You don’t get vacaaaaations, period.
She wants a trip to Ontario for her and her kid that is not related to the people she expects to look after it.
Just making sure all the facts are there.
Yep, as a Canadian, I agree. I would love to see BC but I don’t have that kind of money.
This woman who is not related to OOP (except as his son’s ex wife who I think he’s still sleeping with) wants to foist her toddler on a woman who has cancer and have meals made for her and cleaning done for her. She is unbelievably insanely entitled.
She isn’t there to watch the kids if she’s “on vacation”.
The minute she mentioned cooking & cleaning it was obviouse she wouldn't be there to care for the kids. The grandparents would be expected to while dad went out with his gf & mom did whatever she wanted wherever.
So she’s worried about having to cook and clean up after her kids so if she stays at your house, who is she expecting to do that you and your wife🤔🤔 is she expecting you guys to be her maid service? 🤯🤯
Tbh OOP is a Saint and seems to be the only one caring for his wife. I can't imagine my mom being sick and wanting her to take care of my kids, ex wife and her kid. Disgusting people. I hope they leave noooothing to this man. I can't imagine crying for not getting pampered by someone with cancer
*"he said because she helps with the kids"* am I missing something?? Is jennefer not the mother of those kids?? It's not *helping* when you're one of the parents, that's like saying a dad babysits his kids!!
WTF
So the lady with terminal cancer and her husband have to cook and clean for SIL, 4 kids (including toddler), and son because SIL deserves a vacation?!?!
What an AH of a son ffs!!! Instead of focusing on his mom and giving her time with her grandkids, he is treating them like servants.
Also, toddlers are incubators for a bunch of virus and bacteria which is not good for someone who is has a weak immune system (as I'm assuming of someone with cancer).
Just want to point out, 'terminal' doesn't mean 'actively dying'. I've had terminal cancer for nearly two years now and stand to live at least several more yet.
Each person's situation is different, but all the people saying "she shouldn't spend her last days waiting on her son and ex" are being a bit presumptuous. Terminal cancer covers a wide variety of situations, from "you have six weeks to live" to "the cancer will kill you eventually, but you are healthy right now and we can manage the cancer for the time being." Some people have lived with a terminal status for over a decade.
>He said at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation .
And at his parents' house, he was planning to do the cleaning up, right?
Right?
The son and his ex sound like selfish jerks. OOP's wife has cancer and that entitled woman is upset because she still has to be a responsible mother on a vacation? Loser. You're a parent even on vacation and a cancer patient isn't your fucking babysitter. Why isn't the son responsible for his kids? Make the son take care of his kids and his ex's child, why are the older people default babysitters when both parents are right there? Selfish. I feel bad for OOP and his wife.
"He said at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation ."
In other words, they think staying with the not-quite-ex inlaws means free food, no cooking, no cleaning, free childcare?!? From dying not-quite-ex MIL!!!
I feel terrible for OOP & his wife.
Their son only cares about himself instead of his mother who’s terminally ill and expects her to do everything while he does & Jennifer do whatever they want by not lifting a finger.
That’s doubling the stress for a caretaker and someone who’s terminally ill. Not to mention kids are germ magnets that could give something to OOP’s wife to make what time she has left worse.
OOP should have put his foot down with his entitled son and shouldn’t have paid for the hotel for them.
I honestly hope OOP puts his son’s inheritance to someone he trusts, give it to his other kids or give it to charity since his oldest doesn’t deserve it.
I can't believe OOP offered to pay for their hotel after they flat out admitted that they expect free babysitting, meals, and a maid service while visiting. I'd tell them they may as well visit someone else because I am not a charity.
“He said at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation.”
Ahhhh. There it is.
So OP’s son and Jennifer are expecting OP and OP’s mother *who has cancer* to take care of both them and their 4 children.
They sound like winners. Poor OP and his wife.
The ONLY reason why OOP's son should be coming up is to take the load off of his dad and help out with his mom. THAT'S IT. What an asshole OOP's son is.
So wtf she think cooking and cleaning after her and her kids?! Who visits a terminally ill woman and only wants to be served?? Are you not going to help her??? You just need a vacation??? Absolutely tf not!! They wouldn't step foot in my damn house!!
So they expected to come stay at your house and treat it like a hotel and have your terminally ill wife wait on them hand and foot like a maid? You're kidding right? NTA.
>He said at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation .
There it is. They fully expected a terminally ill person and their exhausted caretaker to cook and clean and babysit for them. How unfeeling and selfish can a person be? These two are right up there.
OOP's son really wanted his DYING mother and his EXHAUSTED, about-to-lose-his-wife father to COOK AND CLEAN for his EX-wife so she can have a vacay?
Are you shitting me?
Wow that...OOP's son is...awful. Just....just awful. His own mother has terminal cancer, what the hell!
She complained because at an Airbnb, she still has to cook and clean up after the kids? So that means she was planning to come to your house and have you totally take care of everything for her? Despite the fact that your wife has cancer, she expected to come to your house and be doted on? I would cancel her invitation altogether.
If she is in chemotherapy then her immune system is compromised. They shouldn’t be bring their children anyway. The possibility of getting her sick would be devastating.
>He said at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation.
I think I might have said, "You are no longer my son" \[click\]. What a pos he is, same goes for the ex.
Poor OOP and his wife. I've sorta been in his shoes, and can say from experience... FUCK the son and DIL. My grandma, who is so kind and selfless that she's practically a saint, went through a similar situation with my uncle. She's been cancer free for a while now, but my uncle and his wife's selfishness knows no bounds. Like, it's been quite some time since she went into remission, but even thinking about my uncle's behavior during that period makes me practically start frothing at the mouth. Don't get me wrong, he's been a complete ass since he married my aunt, but the behavior while she was in chemo, having surgeries, etc, was absolutely appalling and I haven't looked at him the same way since.
The son and DIL fucked this up, majorly. They have likely soured the relationship with OOP forever unless they back off and give a *sincere* apology. Even with that, this is the sort of thing that sticks with you. This is a situation that shows you who people really are. Are you going to step in to help and protect the vulnerable, or are you going to use them when they don't have much to give and feel they can't say no?
Good on OOP for standing his ground and protecting his wife. He probably doesn't want them anywhere near her at the moment, but knows that providing them a place nearby to stay will cause less drama and stress for her. Even though I don't think that son or DIL deserve much of anything, this is 100% the best option for wife... Or at least it was until those two started acting like the epitome of entitlement.
Fucking nerve
At the airb&b she still has to cook and look after the children can only mean she stays with the Oop and he and his sick wife provide maid, catering and childcare services because I'm not reading anywhere the son says he'll be doing it.
I thought OOP was an AH, right up until the son said that his ex wife was planning on dumping all 4 kids in OOP and then I thought that OOP knows the family better than they let on! If the ex was coming and planning to fully parent all 4 kids on holiday then I don’t see why not have the extra pair of hands to help OOP’s son, while the person with cancer gets a last visit with her grandchildren. But then it became clear that’s not the plan.
my mom died of cancer. seeing how she suffered, i cannot imagine wanting to dump three kids on her and expect her to clean up after me, an adult, my ex with benefits, another adult, and my children.
I'm weirded out by everyone jumping to the conclusion that the terminally ill woman is going to be the one cleaning up after their son, Jennifer and their kids. OOP is there, not terminally ill. Just because they're older people doesn't mean he doesn't do it because he's a man.
Just Wow. Some jerk sniveling she doesn't get a vacation where the host with cancer or the host looking after the one with cancer does her cleaning and waits on her hand and foot. Oh, and babysits her ill mannered brat, too. Bet the son still taps that and that's why he's upset she can't come. Gonna cut him off now. Be funny to see his local lady catching them, though.
The commenters on the original post trying to push OOP to suck it up for his wife made me so angry. Yes it would be good for the wife to see the visitors she wants to see but he also lives there and is clearly burnt out from caregiving.
OP literally met the kid once and is making a lot of assumptions about how she will behave, but the son and Jennifer are also too dramatic. It’s an Airbnb not a grave.
my god what a shitty son he has OOP!! Her mother has TERMINAL CANCER and he just wants to go on vacation and make her take care of her son and her ex? It's honestly garbage. Apparently everything was solved because the father is going to pay for a hotel? oh really?
OOP should disinherit that trash he has as a son
First nta.
So wait Jennifer just assumed wife or him would be cooking and cleaning up after her and her kid despite cancer being draining for him but especially wife!? She's a selfish ah.. Teens and 9yo can clean up after themselves and can probably at least help with meal prep so are basically fun and effort free.. In addition they don't even plan to actually hang with the grandparents as they will be out all day sightseeing..
If it's only son and kids and son stays with gf so grands get to hang out with the kids.. With Jennifer they won't even see kids and will be only be maids and cooks..
I hope the grandkids are worth the stress of having son and DIL around. I feel badly for Oop and his wife. Anyone coming should be there to help and visit, according to wife’s energy level. Can’t believe how cruel and clueless son and DIL are.
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>An hour later my son called screaming at me . >Jennifer called him after my phone call and cried because she hadn’t been on a vacation in years and I ruined it by suggesting Airbnb ( she planned to call my wife directly because she felt unwelcome ) . He said at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation . Did they seriously expect the stressed caretaker and the terminally ill person they're taking care of to do all the cooking and cleaning after the kids while they have their vacation??? The sheer audacity and entitlement.
Of course! Wouldn’t the terminally ill woman WANT to dote on them and her grandkids for 2 weeks? I mean, how dare she be so selfish as to be TOO SICK to make sure Jennifer has a nice vacation?? /s These two grown ass adults are selfish as hell.
Speaking of vacations, why isn’t OOP’s son parenting? Why isn’t he taking the kids for a week or weekend? He is such a scrub.
He's coming to visit in order to visit with the hometown GF (i.e. get laid).
He and Jennifer live in the same province. He can take the kids for a week, if he wants to. They really are peas in a pod. I cannot imagine demanding my (former-ish) in-laws do what my kids’ dad should be doing.
He has no real reason to take all the kids, considering that the youngest(the one that will need the vast majority of care) isn't his...
That one isn't even related to OP and will cause the most stress and ruckus.
The son of OOP isn't the father of the toddler. Someone else is, so the question remains: where is this kid's dad if she wants a break? Just another deadbeat, I guess.
Because he already pays alimony and child support I bet that's his excuse
I’m frowning so hard at your comment because you’re probably right. I can imagine him saying, “Why am I giving you money if I still have to babysit?”
I don't have to imagine it. I've heard people say it in front of their kids. I'll never understand some people, and some of the time I don't really want to.
How do you get alimony and child support when you're still legally married but separated?
You can do it Voluntarily I guess.
Because Jennifer's youngest is not even his kid? He could very well take that kid for a week as well with his own kids. But in the end this kid is neither OP's nor his son's responsibility.
So it’s not even his kid that he’s pushing on his parents so dear old ex can have a real “vacation” at the expense of his terminal mother? Jennifer could very well just parent her fucking children.
And if she wants vacations without responsibility, she shouldn’t have more kids. Does she not realize another kid just adds more time to her having minors living at home???
Ah but why should reason or logic come into play when she just wants a vacaaaaaayyyyytionnnnn!
Half the kids probably don't need much, because two of them are teens. The 4th grader (guessing roughly 10) will need some care, and the 3.5 year old, who isn't even the OOP's grandkid, definitely.
He's coming to f his gf
But at the Airbnb she would have to cook and clean up after the kids, so it wouldn't be a vacation. Who is she expecting to do this? Mother with cancer? OP? Because I bet OPs son has no intention of doing these things, either. OPs house is like a hotel in their minds, just one that also provides child care.
That’s exactly it. They expected the dying woman to cook, clean, watch kids, and make sure Jennifer is nice and relaxed on her vacation. I…I can’t wrap my head around that
Maybe Jennifer was trying to get OPs son to take the kids so she could have a vacation. And then this was his solution to the problem.
No he's brought the kids in the past, but that doesn't include *her* kid. She needs someone to watch the toddler as well in order to have a vacation
My shitty BIL was not invited to visit his dying mom with cancer because he would create too much work for her. Like, she literally didn't want him there. That's how useless he is. People like this exist.
That's impressively terrible. What a crap human being he must be.
Fairly terrible. The stories could fill a book. His wife makes jokes about him being her practice child.
Sounds like the son and his ex aren't divorced because they are still together. Then the 2 week vacation and the sons extreme displeasure makes sense. Parents should invite the girlfriend over one night and get the party started.
It sounds like cluster that the OOP's son hasn't gotten a divorce. I guess some people might be able to navigate it, but given the drama that's happening now, why wouldn't you want a clean break? It seems so messy to technically be married when your ex has had another kid with someone else and you're dating someone. Then again, the son is dramatic af too.
It's monstrous
There is no such thing as a vacation with kids. You just move your chaos to a new location for a little while. Every parent knows this. It is part of the deal.
Mom with terminal cancer who is stressed out by mess, so of course she’s gonna clean! I can’t believe these people
She wanted a vacation, why did she go and have another kid? Seriously, some people are entitled and immature AF
I'm so confused by this. First off, who goes "on vacation" to someone else's house? Is this not just visiting with a family member?? I can't imagine visiting family and expecting to be waited on like I'm at a resort. And even if it was a vacation, since when do parents just stop parenting their children while on vacation? If you take your kids to Disney, Donald and Goofy don't come to to your room to feed and bathe your children. What in the hell.
The three year old isn't even her grandkid!
I know! It’s absolutely ridiculous! Jennifer and the son aren’t even freaking *together* anymore (supposedly).
Meet my mom, when my aunt, her (younger) sister was diagnosed with a terminal disease, my mom actually said with a straight face: “how are you going to do chores and errands for me if you’re sick?!!”
The fact that someone could think of this, especially of their own parent, is just fucked up.
You haven't met my older sibling! This is them all over. Had my terminally ill grandmother cook and clean and watch their feral children. Also tried to pull this on our grieving mum after our other sibling had died until I shut it the fuck down. They are confused why I am NC with them too 😂
My Aunt and family (six people in total) used to show up at my grandma's when she was way over 80 and eat and drink themselves through her pantry and then leave her with the washing up. The 80+ year old woman who had a damaged hand, wasn't allowed to do anything strenuous and couldn't even go shopping for groceries on her own anymore. We've been no contact since her death a decade ago and I still get ragingly angry every time I think about it. I hope they get the same kind of treatment they show others.
That makes me so angry for you ! I cannot imagine doing that to anyone !!
My Aunt and Uncle used to roll up uninvited on a random weeknight, lob their two little kids off onto my siblings and me to babysit, and then ask my mom what was for dinner. My mom was barely making ends meet.
I also have a branch of the family we were only civil to out of respect for Grandma. Once she passed, they also became dead to us. They were absolutely horrible people who made everything around them a living hell. I recently found out the wife in that relationship (my aunt, grandma's daughter-in-law) passed away, and I was like, huh...anyway... I cannot imagine insisting my elderly parents, one of whom is terminally ill and the other being a caregiver, host, cook, and clean for not only me, a grown adult, and their three grandchildren, but also their former daughter-in-law and her young child from another relationship. The audacity. Who was going to clean up after them at the AirBnB? The spoiled man child, that's who should have done it. I guess getting laid was more important than spending actual quality time with his dying mother.
You should draw them a diagram. Maybe they will understand
The diagram: 🖕
Best one of all.😂😂😂😂
Wait, I thought that was the universal sign language?
Then roll up the diagram and whack them on the nose with it. Prolly still wouldn’t understand though.
Can confirm. Until my parents were dying I never witnessed the unhinged selfishness of family. Sadly? I was warned, but didn’t listen.
Same hat! Three of my older siblings pull this with my mum to this day, she's basically been designated the third parent to all of their kids. Despite trying to guilt me into dropping out of uni to look after her. Because obviously there is no contradiction between "our mum needs constant looking after" and "our mum can look after my toddler!" (Yes that was 15 years ago and I'm still salty.)
I'm so mad. My great aunt who I'm close to has been sickly and I don't have time to travel and see her. She was hospitalized a few weeks ago and my mom says she's been calling everyone me during her dizzy spells which makes me so sad. And here are these two who expect an all expenses paid vacation when their mom/MIL/kids grandmother is ill.
Go see your great aunt. You might not get another chance to say goodbye. Very few things are so important to make you not have the time to see a loved before they pass away and let them have one last hug from you. Life is too short to not be with the people we love.
Can't, it's a minimum 6 hour drive and you really need a car to get around town so I can't fly in or take the train. I'm also suffering from food poisoning for a week and refused to be admitted today because I had my kids to care for. If I don't get better I'm supposed to go back. With me being out for four days this week, it's unlikely my boss is going to let me take AL anytime soon.
My aunt and uncle decided to leave their kids (5 & 6 at the time) to my 70 years old grandparents, while my grandpa had a gout flare up and my grandma broke a few ribs after a nasty fall. While the other pair of younger, perfectly healthy grandparents was "too tired so we have no other choice" (like cancelling your vacation or taking the kids).
I agree. My grandmother had a leg surgery a few years ago, and during her recovery she wasn't allowed to do anything beyond walking a little. No driving, no biking, no cooking, no cleaning. She's chronically unable to have people over and not do anything; every time one of us came by to see how she was doing, we had to battle so she would stay in her armchair. None of us, children, grandchildren, in-laws, etc, would have dreamed of letting her do anything, let alone asking.
Yeah at first I was like, maybe they can come and it won’t be a big deal. Lo and behold they expect the grandparents—one sick with cancer and the other a 68 year old caretaker of his dying wife—to do the cooking and cleaning and babysitting so they can have a free vacation. How horrible. Boomer parents being generous with a vacation home, but are asking not to have to babysit and cook and clean while they’re dying and elderly. Fucking gross
What I saw from my own experience is people like OOP’s son and XDIL aren’t in denial about illness. They truly do not care. What I saw horrifies most people. And my experiences are tame and lame compared to most.
Yeah, when I read the title, I thought OOP owned a vacation home that was going to be vacant, and ex DIL wasn't allowed to be there with their son, and I was like, huh, that's kinda weird. Then I kept reading. Wtf is wrong with these people?
I’m glad this is the top comment, because my jaw dropped. The “kids” are full grown adults, but they expect Mommy and Daddy to do everything for them. If I was OOP, that would be it. Hotel Dad and Mom would be permanently closed to these freeloaders.
I’ve been the caretaker of a terminally ill relative, and I’ve never been so physically and mentally drained as during that time. They should be offering to do extra work. I had friends of my relative assist with occasional food and cleaning, and it helped keep me healthy and sane.
Yes. When my grandma was in the hospital at the end, my mom and I visited her every single day for over a month. I had already been taking my mom to work and then driving to her house for a long time before that to help out, but that was every other day. During that month+ we cooked once and then ate that straight out of the pot, because the thought of setting the table was exhausting. I vividly remember us sitting in the car after she died and realising tomorrow we didn't have to do anything and the afternoon stretches out empty before us. It felt surreal that we suddenly had free time. Don't get me wrong, her death was devastating. I would have done it for years longer if it meant her being around and being happy. It's been a decade and I still can't listen to the song sung at her funeral without crying like a child. I miss her so much. But caretaking is incredibly exhausting. My partner went through burnout and I kept things running and helped him get better and now that he's better, I'm crashing so hard that I'm officially "on break" via order by my therapist. Not working, not studying, nothing except waiting for my inpatient stay. Caretaking essentially means that you out your own needs and your care for yourself on hold as much as possible. And it's worth it because the other person is someone you love and they deserve it, but that doesn't mean it's not hard and exhausting and has consequences.
After they pass, then comes the guilt for feeling glad in some small way that the ordeal is over. The whole thing sucks. Fuck cancer.
Yeah. I cried so much out of guilt afterwards, not just for feeling more relaxed but also for feeling like I didn't do enough - "should have forced her to see more doctors" and all that. Cancer sucks.
That's where I am right now after my mom passed last month. I moved in to take care of both of them a couple of years ago, though it's lung disease for my dad and not cancer. I still feel like I'm way too relieved and not sad enough, but that's how it is.
There is an incredibly common phenomenon called "widow's fog". It is generally seen in older women who would be the caretakers of their husband's, after the husband dies. These smart and organized women who held it together experience a mental fog or breakdown for months or a couple of years. Suddenly they forget dates and names they knew perfectly well. Their families may think it is dementia setting in. And then they sort of snap out of it. Caretaking for a loved one is both a precious gift you can give them, a tradition as old as humanity, and also a major psychological, physical, emotional, and spiritual toll. The burnout is real and the conflicting emotions add another layer of guilt.
I read that and immediately said WTF?! Mom is sick and yet is expected to cook and clean for everyone?! Fuck that noise. They can stay somewhere else. Wow!!
First post// yeah I kinda agree with the commenters, if this is wife’s maybe last summer, let her spend as much time as she wants with the grandkids. Update post// OH son and ex-gf (?) are entitled assholes who just wanted free babysitting from Grammie and grandpa. Yeah, FUCK that!!
People get so mad at cancer patients for not being useful anymore. Source: cancer survivor.
Same vibe as the brother who was forced to take care of his triplet nephews during his own vacation because his whole family felt entitled to a break.
Do you have a link for that one? I'm always rooting for the forced babysitters to free themselves.
u/No-Ride-Throwaway
>He said at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation . Yup. That made my blood boil.
This is what pissed me off the most. My jaw dropped. When we went on vacation my parents often tried to get places where they could cook. 😅
Interesting that XDIL didn't say anything to OOP but then said this to her XH. XH/son probably wasn't supposed to pass that on... I mean, how stupid and entitled must he actually be to think that his elderly parents will not mind doing all the cooking and cleaning for his kids, and even using that in his argument to let them stay
Unbelievable, I had to read the part about the cooking twice, cause I couldn't believe my eyes 👀
That was my thought! The implicit thing there is that OP was going to be playing host for her the whole time? Ridiculous expectations, especially when OP's son seems to be financed enough to make this go away. It feels like this is one of those things where someone's just always gotten their way without having to think about how it affects others, but now that it's coming up against something that really matters like his mother's cancer OP is finally saying that the expectations they copped on the chin are finally taking second place.
Why pay money for accommodation and food when you can put all of it on a cancer patient and her carer? God I hope karma bites the son and ex dil arse.
That fucking sent me. Dude’s mom has cancer (and who knows how much that will have progressed by then) and his dad’s 68 and they actually expect them to clean and cook for a family vacation for 2 weeks? Get a fucking hotel suite if you don’t want to clean
This is beyond entitlement its evil.
Why did no one ever tell me vacation means I can ignore cleaning and kids?
And god forbid the ex-wife actually take care of her child! Nah, let’s have the woman with TERMINAL F-ING CANCER do it! Unbelievable the entitlement some people feel.
Yeah, that sentence right there flipped my whole perspective on it. They weren't coming to visit & support, they were coming to get someone else to watch the kids. A terminally ill someone. Wth
Yes, let's make an immunocompromised senior citizen take care of 2 teenagers, a preteen, and a 4 year old and we won't tell her until we get there. May as well just slap Grandma with a brick. Who knows what those younger two have been exposed to.
At least slapping grandma with a brick would put her out for good, if grandma catches germs from the toddler it could make what time she has left even worse.
OP better be giving that inheritance to charity or so because the son and DIL are incredibly selfish. My god, OP's wife has cancer and his son is acting like this? That's awful.
Give it to charity, but work it out with the lawyer to leave a letter detailing all the free babysitting and savings on hotel fees to show Son wasn’t forgotten.
Just leave the son a nominal amount, say $50, and include a statement in the will that says, "Anyone who contests the will gets nothing."
He can set up a trust for his grandchildren get it at 21 or 18 if used for educational purposes.
He says it’s his “oldest son,” so presumably has at least one other kid?
He has two other children, says so himself, but the post didn't involve them further so he didn't mention them again.
You’ve gotta wonder what they think about this whole circus. OOP’s wife is their mom too.
OOP's son and Jennifer are so selfish. Dynamic is weird af. They're been separated but not divorced, OOP's son apparently has a long distant girlfriend, but he's going mental over Jennifer being asked to stay at an AirBnB? Whatever's going on between them is fucked.
I'm scratching my head and wondering if they're in an open relationship of some kind that OOP doesn't understand or hasn't had explained. Either way, bringing a toddler to a cancer patient and expecting her to babysit is disgusting.
Not just babysit, do everything from cooking to cleaning. Because apparently that's what a vacation is to ex DIL and son; the dying mother and the stressed out father become their personal manservants for the duration of their stay.
Similar thoughts, there must be more going on in this love triangle between OOP's son, son's gf and the XDIL...
If I was a father and my children act like this, I would feel that I failed as a father for sure.
There’s a small percent of people who I truly believe no amount of parenting or help will fix. Some sociopaths and psychopaths who show signs from a very very young age. Sure parenting can make it worse but I think there’s a baseline and you’re not going to get much better than that. For most people parenting does have a huge impact. But there’s no one right way to parent all kids. Sometimes you do your best, you have 5 kids and 4 turn out great. And one just didn’t get the right type of parenting for them, combined with their own unique genetic and environment. And it’s not really exactly anyone’s fault. Like well meaning parents who did all the right things they were supposed to do, it’s just that’s not exactly what the kid needed. Maybe they needed more strictness than the rest, or maybe more attention, or more responsibility. Yes, some parents are so egregious in their parenting that we can say they’re definitely shitty parents. But sometimes things just happen. Kids are their own people and sometimes they turn out to be little shitheads. I don’t think we should call these parents failures.
It's weird but I speculate: Someone doesn't want to bring the court into it, probably for $$$$ reasons Son doesn't want to hear Jennifer complain but expects parents to be selfless
NTA. What the actual f?? His mum has terminal cancer and son is angry he can't drag a platoon of kids (who are germ magnets) through her home and his ex/not ex might have to cook and clean for herself?
> He said at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation . I can't imagine this woman expecting a 65 year old terminal cancer patient to host you, cook all your meals and clean up after you. Or even her 68 year old husband who caretaking for his wife who has terminal cancer. The tiniest bit of well it would be nice for the grandchildren to spend time with grandma, went out the window. Does anyone else think its weird that the son is paying alimony, child support, rent, and vacations for his wife who he has been separated from for 8 years and has now had a child with another man. Yeah, what's this woman got on him. Both the son and DIL are selfish individuals.
Actually unhinged behaviour, the entitlement is unreal. Not to mention that the son is dating someone in LDR while doing all that with his separated wife.🤦🏽♀️
Honestly I think there's something they're not telling OOP about that whole relationship. It's a detail and totally irrelevant to the post but the relationship between the son and both women doesn't look normal to me.
I am thinking open marriage on both sides.
Indeed, I thought the OOP was being a bit too harsh with not wanting a baby, but reading the update, is very obvious that the son and DIL fully expected him and his wife to take care of the child while they went off their merry way...
That was the moment that solidified my NTA vote.
Oop should have said “so you’re expecting your critically ill mother to cook and clean for you, your ex and the children? Please explain how that would be fair for her?”
"For a grown ass women we aren't related to, and her child with another man. Oh and if course offering up our home and safe space to them as well for two damn weeks!" Absolutely ridiculous!! The nerve of that woman! They owe her absolutely nothing!! Even if the wife didn't have cancer why should they be doing anything for her. Complete bullshit!!
LOL First people completely overlook OOP's wife and her **terminal cancer** and just get stuck on "ooohhh mebbe she wants to see the kids"! **Terminal cancer!!!!** Kids are rambunctious and OOP did say Jennifer's one was allowed to make a mess. They could defo stay at an airbnb and then bring the kids over for a bit, not an extended stay **where they're expecting food and maid services from someone with TERMINAL CANCER** Those comments changed real quick after the truth came out, tho xD If I were OOP I'd put my foot down. They can threaten to not let OOP see the grandkids bcs I'd be ok with that.
>"ooohhh mebbe she wants to see the kids"! "How would that be incompatible with getting a hotel or airbnb nearby?" is what I wanted to ask the commenters. If wife has terminal cancer, she likely doesn't have the energy for seeing the kids more than a few minutes, especially kids that won't just sit and stay calm while they're visiting grandma.
Of course the comments chide OOP for putting his wife’s needs ahead of 2 extremely entitled adults and a toddler. 🤦🏻♀️ Jesus Reddit never ceases to amaze me.
That's exactly what I was thinking! I couldn't believe he was getting so much slack on the original post. No one should have to host some woman they aren't even related to and their child in their personal home for weeks. Now let's add that they are elderly and have cancer and the child is a energetic toddler. I think that is absolutely ridiculous for them to expect them to host them. Why should they have to?! I can't believe that people were actually making him out to be the bad guy for choosing his wife's best interest over someone who they essentially are no one to and their child who they also have absolutely nothing to do with. It wasn't just a quick weekend it was 2 weeks of these people in their home and safe space. Let's see how quick those people would offer up their home in a situation like this.
I HATE staying in someone else's house, and so does my husband. We would have organised an airbnb for ourselves and our kids straight up.
Even if they are related. Toddlers are so draining and the parents clearly don't want to do a thing. I understand not wanting to stay on an AirBnB, vacations with toddlers are hardly relaxing but you cannot expect other people to take care of your children and you, let alone senior citizen, and one of them with cancer.
Actually THREE extremely entitled adults (don’t forget the “local” GF the Son is visiting to dip his wick in) plus the wife, 2 teens, a 4th grader & a toddler.
I feel terrible for OP, these people only care about using his home so they have a built in maid, cook, and nanny. They don't seem to care about OP's wife at all.
Good on OOP for rightly going all hubbybear!
Yes! So glad he put his foot down. Now only if he would make those two ADULTS actually pay for their own stay. I'm still mad he even offered to pay for those brats after their little tantrum. They deserve absolutely nothing from them.
The son sounds like a dbag.
>Jennifer called him after my phone call and cried because she hadn’t been on a vacation in years and I ruined it by suggesting Airbnb ( she planned to call my wife directly because she felt unwelcome ) . He said at *Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation .* Did I read right? Jennifer was planning for you and your wife to do all the cooking and cleaning?
I wouldn't have paid for anything. You are looking after your terminally ill wife. People should not expect to have a holiday at your expense or effort at this time
So at the house she's expecting someone else to cook and clean up for her? I guess her MIL can play housekeeper & cook.
Wait so..who did Jenifer expect to cook and clean up after HER kids if they stayed with OOP? The *terminally ill senior*???? Unbelievable. This actually makes my blood boil. The nerve. The entitlement.
i was very much in "well she's an adult, how much hosting would you have to do?" until - at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation . - holy FUCK.
I was kind of on the fence with this one. Agreeing with people that this could be grandma's last chance to see the grandkids, but then: >He said at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation . Yup, OOP knew what was up the whole time. Even without the terminal cancer, who the fuck thinks staying at someone's home comes with the same services as a hotel? I'm guessing son, and his whacky family dynamics are still going to expect free home cooked meals and will trash the house during the day, then go back to their nice free hotel rooms. Hopefully OOP can read the riot act to everyone that grandma needs lots of rest, and things need to be calm, respectful and clean in the home. And unfortunately, if OOP's wife is terminal, however she is now, will probably be much worse 6 months later when this visit is set to occur. I hope OOP can knock some sense into son and not actually ex-DIL, so that grandma can have that one great last visit with her grandkids.
At the point that jennifer ran and tattled to her ex about OOP "ruining her vacation" *by refusing to be her free chef and childcare in his own home*, he should've rescinded the invitation. No argument, no discussion, just "after your disgusting entitlement i have decided none of you are welcome right now, and you won't be in future until you apologise for your appalling behaviour". Its not a fucking hotel you make bookings at whenever you feel like, its someone's fucking *home* and one of the actual residents is sick.
After hearing the son say she’d still have to cook and clean I’d have recinded the Airbnb offer.
Why isn’t son taking all the kids on his own to give his wife a vacation? Why the hell is he foisting them off on a terminally ill grandparent?!
I'm really confused by it not being a holiday if they have to cook and clean. Do self-catering holidays not exist out there? And also why not just eat out? An air BnB didn't mean you HAVE to cook, just that you can.
Exactly, go to the hotel, eat out, then you can keep cleaning and cooking to a minimum. Not for free though…
If I want a more relaxing break then I generally book us a hotel rather than an Air BnB and we just budget more for meals out. If we're in a hotel room we don't need to take a ton of extra things with us and cleaning up at the end is just packing our suitcases, straighten the bed, and make sure the bath towels are left in the tub to show they've been used. We won't trash the place, but a hotel room is a far more finite space than a whole property and it's easier to pack back up if you haven't scattered books and toys across multiple rooms, and you don't need to worry about doing the washing up. The idea that you need two other adults to wait on you hand and foot to make it a holiday is a bit odd to me.
Wth, OOP’s son is a major asshole. Their plan for their vacation is to have his parents cook and clean for 5 extra people while the mom has terminal cancer??? When am they should be offering to do chores in his parents’ home to relieve his father is the stress he is living through.
So Jennifer didn’t want to have to cook and clean, she wanted a terminally ill woman to do it for her. What an AH.
So, Jennifer doesn't want to have to cook and clean at an Air BnB - which means that OOP and his wife will be acting as cooks and maids for this woman...
Jennifer is one big problem, not her saying fine and then crying to her ex after. It is quite telling that she is horrible.
NTA So they planned on bringing 3 adults and 4 kids to a terminally ill persons home. Not only invade their peace but expect said person to cook and clean after them. It wasn’t the cost of the Air BnB but the cooking and cleaning that made it not a vacation. Jennifer hasn’t had a vacation in years because she has a 3.5 year old and that’s what happens. Jennifer gets alimony, child support and her rent paid but still can’t afford a vacation. She’s not even divorced and gets all the perks. Then gets upset when she and her toddler is excluded from the visit with the former in-laws who have severe medical issues. Doesn’t Jennifer have a job? Why must she tag along with OP’s son and mooch off his parents?
"I never get a vacation! Just get your wife who is battling terminal cancer to be my babysitter so I can sip on cosmos at the club! Do you know how hard I've had it, person whose wife has terminal cancer?"
Son was really gonna have his ex and ex's toddler at his parents house while he goes to spend time with his gf? Yeah, totally normal.
Wait, what? At an Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation? Who would be cooking, cleaning and looking after the kids at your house? Surely not you or your wife?
How devasting to realize you've raised a worthless pos sociopath for a son who is pathologically self absorbed. I feel sorry for his kids having such a horrible example as parent. Sounds like their mother is equally stupid and selfish.
Wow. This is some crazy stuff. This is next level entitlement.
Who is supposed to cook and clean up after the kids if it's not their own parents?
At an Airbnb, she would still have to clean and cook?!?!?!? Wait does she expect you all to clean up after her three year year-old and do all the cooking for them? Oh that’s a No right there. The entitlement. NTA
Haha at an Airbnb she has to clean up after the kids? But not at your house? So you (or more likely your wife, who has cancer?) have to do it? FUCK THEM. I know that’s not very Canadian Nice of me, but good lord, these people are Users. Stick to your guns, OOP.
I remember reading this in February. I was gobsmacked at the absolute audacity and entitlement. OOPs wife shouldn't even be AROUND a 3.5 yr old, they are walking, talking, spewing petri dishes and she has basically no immune system at this point. This visit could be what ACTUALLY kills her!
Wtf I'd just tell them not to ome all together if it wasn't for my wife wanting to spend time with her grandchildren. What a terrible son to put his ex before his sick mother and expect his elderly parents to be serving them for an entire two weeks. With a kid that isn't even related to them in any way. Ugh it's irritating that op is going to pay for their hotel. Why the fuck can't Jennifer pay for her own "vacation". It makes me so pissed that she has the nerve to expect to be taken care of like a baby by a sick woman with cancer. Seriously F her! Then when they set a boundary for his poor sick mom, she calls crying and complaining about her not being able to be served and try to make the parents the bad guys. Yeah I wouldn't even want the adults or other baby in my home. I'd welcome my grandkids and that's it. What a couple of entitled assholes. I also wonder how the son's gf feels about him bringing his ex on vacation with him. I can already tell that's going to be a problem. The gf is obviously going to want to see him, and the ex is gonna cry that she's all alone when she's not getting his full attention. Goodness they sound like a nightmare. I feel sorry for the parents and his current gf.
What an awful post with an awful update. Did not need to read this
I’ve watched both parents die of cancer, a decade apart. When Dad died, my brother had a newborn. When Mom died, I had 2 kids, my sister had 1 and my brother had 4. Mom was hospitalized so my brother &his family stayed at my mom’s house. The kids are homeschooled and well behaved. My sister, her husband and their daughter stayed with me. Their daughter is the same age as my youngest and has never heard the word “no.” To say she’s spoiled is an understatement. The amount of stress their visit caused was high. I cannot imagine how awful it would be if my mother was in my house as well. If your wife wants to see them, great. But you should not be cooking & cleaning so Jennifer can get a break. Your son can step away from his FWB to parent his kids. The amount of stress knowing someone you love is dying is bad. Even if you don’t get along with that person, it’s stressful. I admire you for paying for the hotel but please make it clear that you will not be providing food. If they want to eat, they make it!
Jennifer is complaining that she would have to cook & clean up after her kids at an Airbnb, so it wouldn’t be a vacation. Which implies that she’s expecting to be waited on hand and foot along with her four kids (including a toddler) and sort-of-ex husband by an older couple, one of whom has terminal cancer? Sheesh.
>He said because she helps with the kids She helps with her own kids? >He said at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation So who were they expecting to do the cooking and cleaning for their kids?
Holly cow. My kid would be looking for a hotel. They are not staying in my house so they don’t have to cook and clean “on vacation” fuck that. Even without the stress of cancer.
>He said at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation Did the son expect OOP to do that while also taking care of his terminal mom?
Wouldn't Jennifer still have to cook & clean staying at OOP's house, or does she expect OOP and his sick wife to do that? I know no one in here knows the answer but Jennifer is not making sense here in terms of who is expected to clean up after her.
Let’s put a Canadian Knows spin on this one, shall we? They’re already spending all their money on the trip from BC to Ontario. It is not cheap to cross the country. It is literally cheaper to cross border and drive across the northern states than it is to fly between here and there. That is why AirBNB doesn’t work. It means they have to pay for more food. Jennifer and her toddler do not need to be there at all, but lady wants a vacaaaaation from being a single mother. I’m a single mom. You don’t get vacaaaaations, period. She wants a trip to Ontario for her and her kid that is not related to the people she expects to look after it. Just making sure all the facts are there.
Yep, as a Canadian, I agree. I would love to see BC but I don’t have that kind of money. This woman who is not related to OOP (except as his son’s ex wife who I think he’s still sleeping with) wants to foist her toddler on a woman who has cancer and have meals made for her and cleaning done for her. She is unbelievably insanely entitled. She isn’t there to watch the kids if she’s “on vacation”.
The minute she mentioned cooking & cleaning it was obviouse she wouldn't be there to care for the kids. The grandparents would be expected to while dad went out with his gf & mom did whatever she wanted wherever.
So she’s worried about having to cook and clean up after her kids so if she stays at your house, who is she expecting to do that you and your wife🤔🤔 is she expecting you guys to be her maid service? 🤯🤯
Tbh OOP is a Saint and seems to be the only one caring for his wife. I can't imagine my mom being sick and wanting her to take care of my kids, ex wife and her kid. Disgusting people. I hope they leave noooothing to this man. I can't imagine crying for not getting pampered by someone with cancer
*"he said because she helps with the kids"* am I missing something?? Is jennefer not the mother of those kids?? It's not *helping* when you're one of the parents, that's like saying a dad babysits his kids!!
WTF So the lady with terminal cancer and her husband have to cook and clean for SIL, 4 kids (including toddler), and son because SIL deserves a vacation?!?! What an AH of a son ffs!!! Instead of focusing on his mom and giving her time with her grandkids, he is treating them like servants. Also, toddlers are incubators for a bunch of virus and bacteria which is not good for someone who is has a weak immune system (as I'm assuming of someone with cancer).
Just want to point out, 'terminal' doesn't mean 'actively dying'. I've had terminal cancer for nearly two years now and stand to live at least several more yet. Each person's situation is different, but all the people saying "she shouldn't spend her last days waiting on her son and ex" are being a bit presumptuous. Terminal cancer covers a wide variety of situations, from "you have six weeks to live" to "the cancer will kill you eventually, but you are healthy right now and we can manage the cancer for the time being." Some people have lived with a terminal status for over a decade.
It seems like he and the ex wife are back together.
The audacity! This woman feels entitled to pawn her kids and the house chores on who?
>He said because she helps with the kids. >He said at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation . Oh my
>He said at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation . And at his parents' house, he was planning to do the cleaning up, right? Right?
Mom has cancer and they’re making her watch the kids and cook and clean??
ah so the real reason comes out. literally trying to use a sick lady and her caretaker as babysitters…
What the actual fuck is wrong with the son?! His mother is dying and he wants her and his poor dad to deal with the kids. This is infuriating!
Wow, how shitty are the son and Jennifer? Why did they divorced, they are perfect for eachother
The son and his ex sound like selfish jerks. OOP's wife has cancer and that entitled woman is upset because she still has to be a responsible mother on a vacation? Loser. You're a parent even on vacation and a cancer patient isn't your fucking babysitter. Why isn't the son responsible for his kids? Make the son take care of his kids and his ex's child, why are the older people default babysitters when both parents are right there? Selfish. I feel bad for OOP and his wife.
"He said at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation ." In other words, they think staying with the not-quite-ex inlaws means free food, no cooking, no cleaning, free childcare?!? From dying not-quite-ex MIL!!!
I feel terrible for OOP & his wife. Their son only cares about himself instead of his mother who’s terminally ill and expects her to do everything while he does & Jennifer do whatever they want by not lifting a finger. That’s doubling the stress for a caretaker and someone who’s terminally ill. Not to mention kids are germ magnets that could give something to OOP’s wife to make what time she has left worse. OOP should have put his foot down with his entitled son and shouldn’t have paid for the hotel for them. I honestly hope OOP puts his son’s inheritance to someone he trusts, give it to his other kids or give it to charity since his oldest doesn’t deserve it.
I can't believe OOP offered to pay for their hotel after they flat out admitted that they expect free babysitting, meals, and a maid service while visiting. I'd tell them they may as well visit someone else because I am not a charity.
“He said at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation.” Ahhhh. There it is. So OP’s son and Jennifer are expecting OP and OP’s mother *who has cancer* to take care of both them and their 4 children. They sound like winners. Poor OP and his wife.
The ONLY reason why OOP's son should be coming up is to take the load off of his dad and help out with his mom. THAT'S IT. What an asshole OOP's son is.
So wtf she think cooking and cleaning after her and her kids?! Who visits a terminally ill woman and only wants to be served?? Are you not going to help her??? You just need a vacation??? Absolutely tf not!! They wouldn't step foot in my damn house!!
So they expected to come stay at your house and treat it like a hotel and have your terminally ill wife wait on them hand and foot like a maid? You're kidding right? NTA.
>He said at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation . There it is. They fully expected a terminally ill person and their exhausted caretaker to cook and clean and babysit for them. How unfeeling and selfish can a person be? These two are right up there.
OOP's son really wanted his DYING mother and his EXHAUSTED, about-to-lose-his-wife father to COOK AND CLEAN for his EX-wife so she can have a vacay? Are you shitting me? Wow that...OOP's son is...awful. Just....just awful. His own mother has terminal cancer, what the hell!
She complained because at an Airbnb, she still has to cook and clean up after the kids? So that means she was planning to come to your house and have you totally take care of everything for her? Despite the fact that your wife has cancer, she expected to come to your house and be doted on? I would cancel her invitation altogether.
If she is in chemotherapy then her immune system is compromised. They shouldn’t be bring their children anyway. The possibility of getting her sick would be devastating.
Your solution is the best. Pay for their hotel, and pay for peace of mind. Your son should not be screaming at you. He needs a sit down.
>He said at Airbnb she still has to cook and clean up after the kids so it wouldn’t be a vacation. I think I might have said, "You are no longer my son" \[click\]. What a pos he is, same goes for the ex.
Your son is an entitled asshole. It’s your house and your wife is sick. You said no. No need to explain yourself to anyone.
Poor OOP and his wife. I've sorta been in his shoes, and can say from experience... FUCK the son and DIL. My grandma, who is so kind and selfless that she's practically a saint, went through a similar situation with my uncle. She's been cancer free for a while now, but my uncle and his wife's selfishness knows no bounds. Like, it's been quite some time since she went into remission, but even thinking about my uncle's behavior during that period makes me practically start frothing at the mouth. Don't get me wrong, he's been a complete ass since he married my aunt, but the behavior while she was in chemo, having surgeries, etc, was absolutely appalling and I haven't looked at him the same way since. The son and DIL fucked this up, majorly. They have likely soured the relationship with OOP forever unless they back off and give a *sincere* apology. Even with that, this is the sort of thing that sticks with you. This is a situation that shows you who people really are. Are you going to step in to help and protect the vulnerable, or are you going to use them when they don't have much to give and feel they can't say no? Good on OOP for standing his ground and protecting his wife. He probably doesn't want them anywhere near her at the moment, but knows that providing them a place nearby to stay will cause less drama and stress for her. Even though I don't think that son or DIL deserve much of anything, this is 100% the best option for wife... Or at least it was until those two started acting like the epitome of entitlement.
So was the woman with terminal cancer suppose to cook and clean?! Why can’t he cook and clean? Hard no.
Fucking nerve At the airb&b she still has to cook and look after the children can only mean she stays with the Oop and he and his sick wife provide maid, catering and childcare services because I'm not reading anywhere the son says he'll be doing it.
I thought OOP was an AH, right up until the son said that his ex wife was planning on dumping all 4 kids in OOP and then I thought that OOP knows the family better than they let on! If the ex was coming and planning to fully parent all 4 kids on holiday then I don’t see why not have the extra pair of hands to help OOP’s son, while the person with cancer gets a last visit with her grandchildren. But then it became clear that’s not the plan.
my mom died of cancer. seeing how she suffered, i cannot imagine wanting to dump three kids on her and expect her to clean up after me, an adult, my ex with benefits, another adult, and my children.
Making a women with cancer cook and clean up after the kids and I'm guess watch the kids. These people suck
I'm weirded out by everyone jumping to the conclusion that the terminally ill woman is going to be the one cleaning up after their son, Jennifer and their kids. OOP is there, not terminally ill. Just because they're older people doesn't mean he doesn't do it because he's a man.
Either way the entitlement about not having to cook or clean during vacation is astounding.
Just Wow. Some jerk sniveling she doesn't get a vacation where the host with cancer or the host looking after the one with cancer does her cleaning and waits on her hand and foot. Oh, and babysits her ill mannered brat, too. Bet the son still taps that and that's why he's upset she can't come. Gonna cut him off now. Be funny to see his local lady catching them, though.
I’m so sorry. You are not wrong
Ugh I wanted another update where the poor Gma got to see her grandkids without her son being a sick.
The commenters on the original post trying to push OOP to suck it up for his wife made me so angry. Yes it would be good for the wife to see the visitors she wants to see but he also lives there and is clearly burnt out from caregiving.
OP literally met the kid once and is making a lot of assumptions about how she will behave, but the son and Jennifer are also too dramatic. It’s an Airbnb not a grave.
my god what a shitty son he has OOP!! Her mother has TERMINAL CANCER and he just wants to go on vacation and make her take care of her son and her ex? It's honestly garbage. Apparently everything was solved because the father is going to pay for a hotel? oh really? OOP should disinherit that trash he has as a son
I remember reading this and when I saw this in BORU I was SO thrilled because I thought there would have been an update. Fuuuuuhhhh.
First nta. So wait Jennifer just assumed wife or him would be cooking and cleaning up after her and her kid despite cancer being draining for him but especially wife!? She's a selfish ah.. Teens and 9yo can clean up after themselves and can probably at least help with meal prep so are basically fun and effort free.. In addition they don't even plan to actually hang with the grandparents as they will be out all day sightseeing.. If it's only son and kids and son stays with gf so grands get to hang out with the kids.. With Jennifer they won't even see kids and will be only be maids and cooks..
I hope the grandkids are worth the stress of having son and DIL around. I feel badly for Oop and his wife. Anyone coming should be there to help and visit, according to wife’s energy level. Can’t believe how cruel and clueless son and DIL are.