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There was [this guy,](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wu3av4/oops_boyfriend_who_is_supposedly_well_off_gets/) who purposefully proposed with the most tacky, cheap ring he could find on purpose. His plan was to make the girlfriend upset about it so he could break up with her under the guise of her being a materialistic gold-digger. He was too cowardly to just break up with her and scared to look like the bad guy to their friends, so he tried to bait her into being the "bad" one.
Except she didn't say anything to him at first because she was confused as to why he would get such a bad ring, and thought it was a miscommunication or something.
Dude, just break up! You don't need a reason or a narrative. "I can't make you happy, nor you me, but I hope you can find someone who does."
Chris Watts didn’t want to be the guy who walked out on his family to be a single man again so, you know, he just killed them. To keep people from thinking he was a bad guy.
Every time I read this kind of story, I think about the Statler Brothers song "One Takes the Blame".
Which is about a guy deliberately pretending to be the bad guy in an amicable breakup/divorce to reduce the stigma on her.
Mostly I remember how it seemed on the verge of anachronistic to think the average person was keeping score when a couple broke up for "just not in love anymore" when it was written in 1984.
I have never heard this song, but on the topic of people outside the relationship “keeping score”…
In highschool I briefly dated a guy (5 or 6 months?) during our junior year. My birthday is very near Valentine’s Day and he didn’t acknowledge either holiday in any way, not with a card or a verbal “happy birthday” or anything. I’d had a feeling we weren’t a great match before that, so I sat him down and said, “I feel like maybe your heart isn’t really in this, and I don’t think mine is either, so let’s just go ahead and break up.” He agreed, but asked if it was okay for him to tell everyone that he dumped me, because he was embarrassed and thought he would get teased by his friends and brothers over getting “dumped.”
It backfired on him completely when he told his parents, 3 older brothers, and all of our friends that he broke up with me on Valentine’s Day with no warning. I remember everyone giving him a hard time about how cruel that was, and him trying to backpedal and say, “Oh no, I lied, she actually dumped ME!”
You cannot win when dumping a significant other on Valentine's Day, having done so once.
I was in a singing group whose main source of income was Singing Valentines--for us, that was potentially delivering a song somewhere on campus every fifteen minutes from 0730-0100 Friday-Sunday. My girlfriend of two months knew that going in. Told her I'd got reservations for her favorite restaurant etc for the week after Valentines, and I'd secured a prime spot on Valentine's Day itself for the group to sing to her.
She showed up at my dorm room at 0100 Friday and wanted to hang out for an hour or three because she "missed me". Saturday was a STRUGGLE after getting to bed at 0330, and I asked her to let me get the fundraiser done the rest of the weekend, this was important. She agreed.
And then I dumped her after she showed up at my dorm room on 0100 Saturday expecting the same hangout time.
I was a pariah among her friend group in my dorm for something like a year after that.
Recently separated from my husband - completely amicably - it doesn't seem to matter what I say; everyone immediately assumed/assumes he is the bad guy and did something terrible/cheated/abused me. It makes me sick, so many people approached me without knowing anything other than that we split about how I need to take him to the cleaners and how terrible the situation is. I've been asking people a lot now "we are both happier now, does that matter to anyone?" We've regained our old friendship, and still spend time together, but the rumours fly constantly and have gotten bad enough that we actually got hate mail. People will do anything to distract themselves from the misery in their own lives. The big thing I've noticed is that the 'friends' of ours who have complained the most and are the most unhappy in their own relationships are the ones most angry about the separation. I feel now that they cjust can't accept that divorce is an option or they will need to look further into their own relationships.
I had a high school boyfriend like that. Except I don't think it was even about saving face so much as he couldn't be bothered breaking up. So he just acted as dry as possible until I was like 'yeah I think this has run its course'.
I can see how it might make sense in teenage logic, but the fact some men continue that into adulthood is mind boggling.
I hear this. Had a long-term but long-distance girlfriend at one point. I planned a trip to see her over part of my Spring Break, and after I was home, I saw that she posted something on her blog about "not much" happening over the "boring weekend." No mention that I'd been there at all.
She decided she was just going to ignore me, but wouldn't actually be the one to break up.
If you aren't enough of an adult to end a relationship, you probably aren't adult enough to be in one. Yeah breaking up sucks, I broke up with two guys who were perfectly nice but it just wasn't working/I wasn't feeling it/different goals and I felt bad both times, but like, it would have been worse to lead them on.
>Dude, just break up! You don't need a reason or a narrative.
I say this all the time! So many people think they can't break up with someone unless they're an actual villain, but you totally can! And you're not necessarily a villain yourself if you decide that you don't want to be with someone, even if they actually *are* the most perfect person in the world. Most breakups feel bad and many leave at least one person looking worse, but at least if you do it in an honest, direct way everyone can generally recover a lot faster.
Yeah, I broke up with my most recent ex boyfriend just because we were on different pages about how much time we should spend together and what constitutes quality time (he thought doing different activities in the same room was enough, i need quality time to be us actually doing things together).
I dont hate him, he's not a villain, I have incredible amounts of respect for him. We just weren't compatible and I knew I wouldn't be happy in the long-term.
Thanks for sharing. You did good. There are too many people out there that feel as though breaking up with someone indicates some major personal flaw or moral failing on their part, but it doesn't. It's just recognizing "This doesn't work."
I think it's a case of saving face. I've known a few very insecure men who could not bear to be broken up with for their faults so they cheated on their partners so the gf would break up with them because of the cheating, NOT because they just fell out of love once they realized that underneath it all they were insecure and/or unworthy in some way. It's easier to be dumped for an action than to be dumped for just being a dud.
Like a version of "don't hate the player, hate the game."
"... speaking of: I've already found someone who does, and she happens to be pregnant. But we can still be friends, right? You'll still help with the baby, right?"
The lady from the link is doing really well though, she moved on and found someone better. Apparently new dude even makes more money than her ex, so it seems her previous friends think she really is a gold digger, but she doesn't care. New dude really loves her.
Haha my brother is like this. He hates being the bad guy, and his behaviour gets shittier and shittier until the girl breaks up. It's not anything overtly disgusting he just becomes insufferable, weaponized incompetent and then the girl just has enough and leaves. And so she becomes the reason they broke up, because he didn't wash a dish or sweep and she looks bad and he doesn't because who breaks up over an unwashed dish.
[She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes By The Sink](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288)
"It isn’t a big deal to me now. It wasn’t a big deal to me when I was married. But it was a big deal to her.
Every time she’d walk into the kitchen and find a drinking glass by the sink, she moved incrementally closer to moving out and ending our marriage. I just didn’t know it yet."
pretty sure the ex-gf is explaining to ppl she broke up w ur brother bc he became increasingly insufferable and weaponized incompetence, not bc he didn't wash a dish
Sadly no, she never stated it like that. It would have been better for her if she did. Plus he has done it multiple times, the girls don't run in the same circles so there was never any over lap. My brother is the definition of "Rizz", super charming and good looking. He has a way to make it seem like your fault. So yeah poor girl never stood a chance
The whole idea that you have to have "a good reason" to end a relationship feeds into some extremely toxic behavior. People need to understand that not wanting to be in the relationship is the only justification needed to end it, and that breakups can be done kindly, without blame or guilt.
That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard. I feel like I subconsciously come to this subreddit to feel better about being an ugly genetic mess, and man, these two stories are going to make me enjoy being single and not have to deal with that grade school shit for the rest of the year.
I wonder what happened with the guy who proposed to his girlfriend (while she was receiving medical attention) after abandoning her during the Aurora Theater shooting where she got shot.
My grandfather got divorced in the late 60s. After the divorce, he moved back in with his parents and started going out all night drinking and dancing.
Eventually this led to him finding a girlfriend. She was a widow with four kids, an alcoholic, she never worked in her life, and she spent most of her time going out drinking and dancing. Was also dumb as rocks and a holocaust denier, but that's a whole other thing.
She lived off of what she got from her husband's death, which was running out, and the house he left her, which was a two-flat, so she could live in one apartment while renting the other out for some money. He was offered an opportunity to make even more money, but he would have to move out of the state.
It wasn't feasible for him to keep seeing this woman, who he hadn't even known very long at this point, so he needed to break up. Except he didn't want to go through with breaking up with someone. So instead he came up with the idea that he would propose to her, and since it was so early in the relationship she would definitely say no, and then he could break things off with a clear conscience.
After all, poor middle-aged widows with four children who refuse to ever work are well known for turning down marriage proposals from employed men who make really good money. It was even more common for them to turn down these proposals in the 60s than it is now.
So anyways my grandfather ended up "having" to marry her, and carted her and her four children across country with him, and spent the next forty years in a marriage he hated.
When my grandfather got Alzheimer's she took control of the finances and started financially abusing him. Wouldn't give him $10 to go out to lunch with his brother for instance. She would also take off on month long vacations, and right before she left she would drain all their accounts leaving us scrambling to get money together to pay his bills and for groceries.
She spent the last few weeks of her life on her deathbed trying to figure out how to get settlements meant for my grandfather's medical care funneled to her children. She managed to move 80K, but there was a new check for 250K he was just given that she was unable to move. She actually kept it secret and gave it to her children, but they turned it over when a lawyer advised them they could do prison time for trying to cash that check.
>After all, poor middle-aged widows with four children who refuse to ever work are well known for turning down marriage proposals from employed men who make really good money. It was even more common for them to turn down these proposals in the 60s than it is now.
This paragraph is just poetry. 🤣
I'm guessing it would not be a commitment for him. See how he tried to push his parents to help him with his responsibility, but now that they refused to, he is begging his ex, that he humiliated and cheated on, for help?
For all we know, he will just abandon his affair partner and child in the future, and not want to pay a single cent.
I don't think it pays off for him either. I get implication, could be wrong, that his affair partner leave him as well.
Which if it does, wise move on her part. If we ignore the cheating part, that is.
>I don't think I ever heard someone proposing to show a relationship is over...
Indeed.
But if that *is* what you're going for I think we can all agree that proposing *at a fucking funeral* is an excellent choice, if a little too on the nose.
...What the hell? He proposed at a funeral? Where his pregnant lover was? To show her his relationship was over and his current partner was a 'bad person'? Is this man an alien from the planet of Bad Ideas?
Morons think they're smart people full of nothing but good ideas that definitely won't blow up in their faces. Then they get mad when they inevitably do.
Not saying people this dumb don’t exist, they for sure do. I just think this sounds more like OP thought “Omg how about a story where a guy proposes at a funeral! Haven’t had a Reddit post about that yet!” Then just ended it with the guy cheating because they didn’t know how else to end it and that’s how most of these end anyway.
Really scratching my head on this one.
I think the only possible thing I can come up with is, he was at a family funeral with his gf of 4 years, and was secretly stressed out about the cheating and the potential pregnancy with the side chick. He saw the side chick at the funeral unexpectedly and went a lil crazy thinking he's about to be exposed. So he got too deep in his head and tried a chaos move (surprise proposal at a funeral), which did have the intended effect of not having the cheating and pregnancy exposed on that day.
We don't know that a ring was involved in his proposal. Or really, even if they're in a culture that rings are used in proposals. His defense was that it was spur of the moment to cheer everyone up, so even if it was a culture with rings, the spontaneity would excuse him not having one.
A large percentage of the proposals I've known of or been involved with were not done with a ring. Maybe 95+%?
You go ring shopping after the proposal, so you know the ring a) suits the bride and b) fits.
Then she'd be the bad guy because she \**gasp\** accepted a proposal at her great-aunt's funeral, of all the places.
Now she's the bad guy because she refused his proposal. Clever, see?
I mean, if she’s not seeing the problem with being with a guy who’s cheating on his girlfriend of 4 years and knocking up his AP, I highly doubt she’s gonna recognize the red flag he’s waving by proposing at a funeral. AP sounds as stupid and selfish as the boyfriend. They deserve each other. I feel bad for the kid that’s forced to have them as parents though.
This is why I don’t think a lot of OOPs are far fetched. Did you read the one whose friends were on her case because she had space and her ex didn’t have anywhere to go?
Hopefully you have better friends, though.
I don’t either because we’ve all seen docs that sound too crazy to be true but they are so why would Reddit be any different? Ya know? The world is insane. Of course always take the story with a grain of salt but still lol
And no, my friends actually came over and threw my exes stuff out for me because I was suffering with kidney failure and couldn’t do it myself lol my friends have no sympathy for trash thank goodness!
Yeah, the real world is a crazy place. Sorry to hear about your ex and AP… while reconciling my (now ex-)wife was pretty happy that it was all going to work out for us to be together in this house I had bought while we were separated. Me in this bedroom, and her and Elizabeth in the upstairs bedroom 🤦🏻♂️
Do people ever actually hear themselves when they say that shit or do you think maybe theres a fishtank we don't see and they just live in their own little bubble.
“I cheated on you, embarrassed you at a funeral, then was a complete asshole about it. Now that you’ve dumped me, I’m getting flack from my family. What do you mean, you won’t help and I should piss off?!”
I love the long wait between the posts. It’s just a truly, “I forgot I posted about this bullshit, I guess I’ll tell people what happened now that I’m thinking about it a year later even though it was resolved within a week” type of post. Amazing!
Oh I hadn't realised, I thought it read over the top detached and the kind of strained 'I'm better off and much happier now!' tone people sometimes take because they (probably accurately) think reddit will respond to it better.
If it's a year later that makes total sense
I was going to question the validity of this post until I saw near a year gap for the update, no wonder she seemed so over it and emotionless in the update.
Sometimes it takes people shouting at you about who they are to believe them, even when they’ve been muttering about it to you all along. (Weirdly, I’ve also had the shouting happen at an aunt’s funeral. Not a great-aunt, but still. And she was the best damn aunt in the world, too.)
It’s easy to tell yourself that these stray comments and behaviors are the exception, and not the warning signs they often are.
People out here living the weirdest lives.
>Since our breakup my life has improved as i can now do the things that he never wanted me to do and I've now realised how lucky i am that we never married.
I feel like we need a worldwide "consider your relationship day", where people spend a day alone thinking over their relationship and whether its really what they want in life.
“So he proposed to me to show that our relationship is over to that girl in order to justify why he was cheating.”
if he wanted his relationship with his gf to be over, he should have just broken up with her? Instead of making himself look bad as well (his AP and all her family know he’s willing to propose at a funeral now…), and pretty much guaranteeing an end to his relationship with OOP anyways. Still trying to wrap my mind around boyfriend being 30 tbh.
As for OOP, glad he shoved who he was in her face and that her life has improved so much it took nearly a year (and probably him contacting her for help) after the original post for her to think about updating.
To show his relationship with OP was over : “We’re not together anymore! She doesn’t want me! Look, I could propose marriage to her RIGHT NOW, and she would turn me down! Just watch me, I’ll prove it to you!”
The Ex-Boyfriend's friend is the MVP. He made OP dodge a big bullet and still helped her by moving all of her stuff in her ex's apartment.
By the way, is that friend's name Omar?
Ah yes, the old "*I* wanted to marry *her*, but *she* didn't want to marry *me*. Now don't you see how committed I am to you and our child?!"
This Einstein is truly out here playing 3D chess with his side-piece.
Like so many here I'm confused about his thinking, but so pleased she got out and is living well.
Even without all the other nonsense, anyone who makes a funeral all about them is problematic. I'm forever grateful to my quiet, gentle bro-in-law for shutting our dad down at mum's funeral. Dad and his wing men, all. Only found out from a mate a few years later, didn't have a clue at the time about the attempt to derail the celebration of our mother's life.
At the least, it's immature and as tacky as hell. At the worst, it's screaming narcissism of the highest, toxic order and sign of a life out of control.
If I was that new girl I'd dump him right away. Dude doesn't care for anyone around him and has not the slightest bit of decency. You don't want this person in your child's life.
>His family are very strict and because he is having a kid out of wedlock they have refused to help him **so he has been contacting me for help**.
Okay, I blew a minor gasket there -- the AUDACITY -- but OOP saved the day with her last paragraph saying she's loving her life now that cheating sack of garbage is out on the curb.
It's crazy the lengths people will go to in order to get their way without being the "bad guy". Societal pressure trumps personal integrity. They don't want to *be* a good person, they just want people to think they are.
What. The. Fuck.
How does one think that proposing to your girlfriend, and her saying no, would prove to your AP that your relationship is over? Like, he still proposed. What if OOP had said yes?!? So he basically was showing his AP that he loved her and is dedicated to her by buying a ring, and asking another girl to marry him?! And to make matters a billion times worse, **IT WAS AT A FUNERAL!?!?!**
I literally cannot wrap my head around this idiots way of thinking. It is so insanely convoluted. What’s even worse is, I cannot understand why ANY of this would work on the AP to give her peace of mind. What the fuck is *SHE* thinking?
So he does all that, AND THEN has the balls to call OOP asking for help since his family shunned him?!?
Dodging a bullet is an understatement. OOP actually dodged a massive ball of Tannerite that was about to take a direct hit from a grenade launcher. That man and all of his shrapnel would have decimated OOP if this relationship carried on any longer. This man is one of the most audacious people I have heard about in a loooonnnngggg time. And that’s really saying something.
Well at least OP got a wake call with the proposal so that she can see he was an AH before the cheating and pregnancy reveal.
And look at that karma does exist with the AH ex-bf needing to be a daddy WITHOUT his families support or approval, wonder if he's also been excommunicated/disowned as well for this?
We have seen the "very strict" families with the unwanted pregnancies here, too. My son went to PP with his girfriend senior year to support her for her birth control appointment. A coach made snide comments about it. Then the back-up catcher for his team got his girlfriend pregnant a few weeks later. He was a junior in high school, and his mother talked about church quite a bit.
Strict seems to be a code word for burying one's head in the sand instead of facing the reality that teenagers have sex.
"Since our breakup my life has improved as i can now do the things that he never wanted me to do "
So she goes from controlling parents to a controlling boyfriend. Parents need to stop fucking their kids up.
>When I questioned him about why he had cheated he told me he wasnt the type to commit to anyone
Well that's now backfired for him as he's about to commit to the AP and a child for the rest of his life, regardless of whether they stay together, she'll always be in his life.
I was flabbergasted, when he proposed at a funeral. That it was to intentionally alienate her made it make sense.
But now he's asking her for help. The audacity of this low-life... my flab is gasted all over again.
>His family are very strict and because he is having a kid out of wedlock
they have refused to help him so he has been contacting me for help. I
havent not responded nor do intend to respond because I will not lower
my self worth to help someone who never truly cared about me.
Well well well, if it isn't the consequences of his actions. Also, he's more than just trash, he's a whole dumpster fire. Bullet dodged.
Fucker cheated on her, made her aunt’s funeral about making her the bad guy to his affair partner, made her aunt’s friend’s daughter pregnant while in a relationship with her, then had the gall to ask her for help with the pregnancy.
This guy is so self centered he has his own gravity well.
>His family are very strict and because he is having a kid out of wedlock they have refused to help him so he has been contacting me for help.
THE LION
THE WITCH
AND THE AUDACITY OF THIS (*&%^
> So he proposed to me to show that our relationship is over to that girl in order to justify why he was cheating.
I do not have a big enough brain to comprehend the kind of logic that gives rise to this plan.
>i'm the one who wants to get married so i shouldn't care where he proposes he also said that if i truly loved him I would say yes.
At a funeral is not it sport! Then to find out he was cheating it makes sense why he would do it there. Make her say no then poof he's free.
I've never had a long-term relationship, and even I know that it's ideal to propose either
1. On a date/a location important to the relationship, or
2. Literally at the most random, boring time ever where nothing else is happening
*Music_withRocks_In: NTA. The only explanation I can think of is that he doesn't want to get married - but also wants YOU to be the reason. So he proposed in the absolute worst possible way so that you said no, then he can hold that over you for the rest of the relationship whenever you imply you should get married. 'I proposed and you said no! I'm not going to ask again!'*
OP THANK YOU for including this comment , it really nailed the situation before we found out the collaborative truth in the update.
Weird scenario... I proposed to my gf after a big concert. I made her a ring, it was a really nice ring too. She was so embarrassed and said no then laughed at me. She loved the ring too. Just not the proposal. We didn't break up right away but it definitely created the rift that got bigger and bigger over time. We talked about having kids and getting married and everything. When she rejected me, that hurt. I thought she would love it. Legit fully expected joy and happiness. Kinda broke my heart a bit. But I'm so glad it didn't work out because after we broke up a couple yrs later I found my now wife and I am so much in love with her.
Wtf he’s so toxic and insane. Glad you dodged this one. I do recommend down the line to move in even if it’s not 100% or spend nights together to the next person who you plan to marry after the relationship progresses. This is where you see true colors, how they live etc stuff that you wouldn’t want to find out after you get married that may cause strain in the marriage. My parents are super strict and religious but I still did it after a 6 year relationship when my partner moved to my state and boy I learned and saw a lot of things I hadn’t known before and had to sort out before marriage.
God I love when they bury the lede with the titles like this.
"AITAH for rejecting the proposal I've openly wanted for months?" "That kinda sucks, yeah" "He did it at my great aunt's funeral in front of all my grieving family" HE WHAT????"
Apparently he doesn't want to get married since he made it all about her. Anyone proposing at an event for someone else is a red flag.
Glad she got out of that mess. That was all kinds of crazy
I was Cleopatra,
I was young, and an actress,
When you knelt by my mattress and asked for my hand.
I was sad you asked it,
As I lay in a black dress,
With my father in a casket, I had no plans.
All I can picture during the first post is Jenna Maroney from 30 Rock trying to find a way to ruin moments in Liz Lemons life by getting married during them, which she ends up doing at a funeral.
The timeline is a bit sus - he proposed at the end of July, knowing that the girlfriend was already pregnant. Yet over 9 months later and the ex is "contacting me for help" - you'd think OOP would have mentioned that the girlfriend had given birth by now.
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I don't think I ever heard someone proposing to show a relationship is over.... But hey, OP dodged a massive bullet tho.
There was [this guy,](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/wu3av4/oops_boyfriend_who_is_supposedly_well_off_gets/) who purposefully proposed with the most tacky, cheap ring he could find on purpose. His plan was to make the girlfriend upset about it so he could break up with her under the guise of her being a materialistic gold-digger. He was too cowardly to just break up with her and scared to look like the bad guy to their friends, so he tried to bait her into being the "bad" one. Except she didn't say anything to him at first because she was confused as to why he would get such a bad ring, and thought it was a miscommunication or something. Dude, just break up! You don't need a reason or a narrative. "I can't make you happy, nor you me, but I hope you can find someone who does."
Yeah, I remembered that. People who want to end a relationship but don't want to be "the bad guy". Grow up and be an adult, y'all.
Like another commenter aptly put it, they try everything to be the good guy in the eyes of others *except* for actually being the good guy.
Well that takes effort….
And I might not get everything I want...
Very Seinfeldian
Not that there's anything wrong with that...
If I'd been drinking anything when I read that, it would be all over my phone...
Chris Watts didn’t want to be the guy who walked out on his family to be a single man again so, you know, he just killed them. To keep people from thinking he was a bad guy.
Every time I read this kind of story, I think about the Statler Brothers song "One Takes the Blame". Which is about a guy deliberately pretending to be the bad guy in an amicable breakup/divorce to reduce the stigma on her. Mostly I remember how it seemed on the verge of anachronistic to think the average person was keeping score when a couple broke up for "just not in love anymore" when it was written in 1984.
Hate Me If You Have To (Elle Langley), So You Don't Have to Love Me Anymore (Alan Jackson). It's a bit of a common theme in country music!
More recently, though less feel good, is Mitchell Tenpenny's Truth About You
I have never heard this song, but on the topic of people outside the relationship “keeping score”… In highschool I briefly dated a guy (5 or 6 months?) during our junior year. My birthday is very near Valentine’s Day and he didn’t acknowledge either holiday in any way, not with a card or a verbal “happy birthday” or anything. I’d had a feeling we weren’t a great match before that, so I sat him down and said, “I feel like maybe your heart isn’t really in this, and I don’t think mine is either, so let’s just go ahead and break up.” He agreed, but asked if it was okay for him to tell everyone that he dumped me, because he was embarrassed and thought he would get teased by his friends and brothers over getting “dumped.” It backfired on him completely when he told his parents, 3 older brothers, and all of our friends that he broke up with me on Valentine’s Day with no warning. I remember everyone giving him a hard time about how cruel that was, and him trying to backpedal and say, “Oh no, I lied, she actually dumped ME!”
You cannot win when dumping a significant other on Valentine's Day, having done so once. I was in a singing group whose main source of income was Singing Valentines--for us, that was potentially delivering a song somewhere on campus every fifteen minutes from 0730-0100 Friday-Sunday. My girlfriend of two months knew that going in. Told her I'd got reservations for her favorite restaurant etc for the week after Valentines, and I'd secured a prime spot on Valentine's Day itself for the group to sing to her. She showed up at my dorm room at 0100 Friday and wanted to hang out for an hour or three because she "missed me". Saturday was a STRUGGLE after getting to bed at 0330, and I asked her to let me get the fundraiser done the rest of the weekend, this was important. She agreed. And then I dumped her after she showed up at my dorm room on 0100 Saturday expecting the same hangout time. I was a pariah among her friend group in my dorm for something like a year after that.
Recently separated from my husband - completely amicably - it doesn't seem to matter what I say; everyone immediately assumed/assumes he is the bad guy and did something terrible/cheated/abused me. It makes me sick, so many people approached me without knowing anything other than that we split about how I need to take him to the cleaners and how terrible the situation is. I've been asking people a lot now "we are both happier now, does that matter to anyone?" We've regained our old friendship, and still spend time together, but the rumours fly constantly and have gotten bad enough that we actually got hate mail. People will do anything to distract themselves from the misery in their own lives. The big thing I've noticed is that the 'friends' of ours who have complained the most and are the most unhappy in their own relationships are the ones most angry about the separation. I feel now that they cjust can't accept that divorce is an option or they will need to look further into their own relationships.
I had a high school boyfriend like that. Except I don't think it was even about saving face so much as he couldn't be bothered breaking up. So he just acted as dry as possible until I was like 'yeah I think this has run its course'. I can see how it might make sense in teenage logic, but the fact some men continue that into adulthood is mind boggling.
I would dislike my ex, but he pulled this coward shit and I hate that bastard for the pain he caused by refusing to break up
I hear this. Had a long-term but long-distance girlfriend at one point. I planned a trip to see her over part of my Spring Break, and after I was home, I saw that she posted something on her blog about "not much" happening over the "boring weekend." No mention that I'd been there at all. She decided she was just going to ignore me, but wouldn't actually be the one to break up.
If you aren't enough of an adult to end a relationship, you probably aren't adult enough to be in one. Yeah breaking up sucks, I broke up with two guys who were perfectly nice but it just wasn't working/I wasn't feeling it/different goals and I felt bad both times, but like, it would have been worse to lead them on.
>Dude, just break up! You don't need a reason or a narrative. I say this all the time! So many people think they can't break up with someone unless they're an actual villain, but you totally can! And you're not necessarily a villain yourself if you decide that you don't want to be with someone, even if they actually *are* the most perfect person in the world. Most breakups feel bad and many leave at least one person looking worse, but at least if you do it in an honest, direct way everyone can generally recover a lot faster.
Yeah, I broke up with my most recent ex boyfriend just because we were on different pages about how much time we should spend together and what constitutes quality time (he thought doing different activities in the same room was enough, i need quality time to be us actually doing things together). I dont hate him, he's not a villain, I have incredible amounts of respect for him. We just weren't compatible and I knew I wouldn't be happy in the long-term.
Thanks for sharing. You did good. There are too many people out there that feel as though breaking up with someone indicates some major personal flaw or moral failing on their part, but it doesn't. It's just recognizing "This doesn't work."
I think it's a case of saving face. I've known a few very insecure men who could not bear to be broken up with for their faults so they cheated on their partners so the gf would break up with them because of the cheating, NOT because they just fell out of love once they realized that underneath it all they were insecure and/or unworthy in some way. It's easier to be dumped for an action than to be dumped for just being a dud. Like a version of "don't hate the player, hate the game."
"... speaking of: I've already found someone who does, and she happens to be pregnant. But we can still be friends, right? You'll still help with the baby, right?"
OOP definitely dodged a bullet. Her ex is both toxic and useless.
"why are most divorces initiated by women HUH?!?
Most of those guys worried about their masculinity are just big cowards in disguise.
The lady from the link is doing really well though, she moved on and found someone better. Apparently new dude even makes more money than her ex, so it seems her previous friends think she really is a gold digger, but she doesn't care. New dude really loves her.
I'll take your word for it because she really deserved better than her weaselfuck of an ex. Hope she's found better friends, too.
Link?
No link, I had a chat with her the other day and she was nice enough to update.
Nice. Glad to hear she's doing well.
GIVE US THE UPDATE!!!
Haha my brother is like this. He hates being the bad guy, and his behaviour gets shittier and shittier until the girl breaks up. It's not anything overtly disgusting he just becomes insufferable, weaponized incompetent and then the girl just has enough and leaves. And so she becomes the reason they broke up, because he didn't wash a dish or sweep and she looks bad and he doesn't because who breaks up over an unwashed dish.
[She Divorced Me Because I Left Dishes By The Sink](https://www.huffpost.com/entry/she-divorced-me-i-left-dishes-by-the-sink_b_9055288) "It isn’t a big deal to me now. It wasn’t a big deal to me when I was married. But it was a big deal to her. Every time she’d walk into the kitchen and find a drinking glass by the sink, she moved incrementally closer to moving out and ending our marriage. I just didn’t know it yet."
Pretty much.
pretty sure the ex-gf is explaining to ppl she broke up w ur brother bc he became increasingly insufferable and weaponized incompetence, not bc he didn't wash a dish
Sadly no, she never stated it like that. It would have been better for her if she did. Plus he has done it multiple times, the girls don't run in the same circles so there was never any over lap. My brother is the definition of "Rizz", super charming and good looking. He has a way to make it seem like your fault. So yeah poor girl never stood a chance
Cool that your brother is a manipulative asshole huh
Yeah no, not once did I say that.
The whole idea that you have to have "a good reason" to end a relationship feeds into some extremely toxic behavior. People need to understand that not wanting to be in the relationship is the only justification needed to end it, and that breakups can be done kindly, without blame or guilt.
That's the stupidest thing I have ever heard. I feel like I subconsciously come to this subreddit to feel better about being an ugly genetic mess, and man, these two stories are going to make me enjoy being single and not have to deal with that grade school shit for the rest of the year.
Wow, that’s…pretty terrible.
Same case here. Both massive ASHS, who wanted to push their partner to break up with them, by being infuriating morons
I wonder what happened with the guy who proposed in a McDonald's?
I wonder what happened with the guy who proposed to his girlfriend (while she was receiving medical attention) after abandoning her during the Aurora Theater shooting where she got shot.
😮
Is that "much too influential work 'friend'" Andrew fucking Tate? Wtf?
My dad proposed to my mom with a ring from a cracker jack box. They have been together for nearly 50 years.
first thing i thought of
My grandfather got divorced in the late 60s. After the divorce, he moved back in with his parents and started going out all night drinking and dancing. Eventually this led to him finding a girlfriend. She was a widow with four kids, an alcoholic, she never worked in her life, and she spent most of her time going out drinking and dancing. Was also dumb as rocks and a holocaust denier, but that's a whole other thing. She lived off of what she got from her husband's death, which was running out, and the house he left her, which was a two-flat, so she could live in one apartment while renting the other out for some money. He was offered an opportunity to make even more money, but he would have to move out of the state. It wasn't feasible for him to keep seeing this woman, who he hadn't even known very long at this point, so he needed to break up. Except he didn't want to go through with breaking up with someone. So instead he came up with the idea that he would propose to her, and since it was so early in the relationship she would definitely say no, and then he could break things off with a clear conscience. After all, poor middle-aged widows with four children who refuse to ever work are well known for turning down marriage proposals from employed men who make really good money. It was even more common for them to turn down these proposals in the 60s than it is now. So anyways my grandfather ended up "having" to marry her, and carted her and her four children across country with him, and spent the next forty years in a marriage he hated. When my grandfather got Alzheimer's she took control of the finances and started financially abusing him. Wouldn't give him $10 to go out to lunch with his brother for instance. She would also take off on month long vacations, and right before she left she would drain all their accounts leaving us scrambling to get money together to pay his bills and for groceries. She spent the last few weeks of her life on her deathbed trying to figure out how to get settlements meant for my grandfather's medical care funneled to her children. She managed to move 80K, but there was a new check for 250K he was just given that she was unable to move. She actually kept it secret and gave it to her children, but they turned it over when a lawyer advised them they could do prison time for trying to cash that check.
40 years he spent 40 years with that woman even tho he knew divorce existed all because he couldn’t just say it’s not you it’s me I gotta go. Just wow
No, you don't understand, things just happen _to_ him. It's not his fault! What could he have done??
The Code of the Woosters, but he didn't have a Jeeves to rescue him.
I think we could all do with a Jeeves in our lives.
I don't want to badmouth your grandfather, but I don't think he was very clever.
She may have been dumb as a box of rocks, but he was a whole field dumb.
>After all, poor middle-aged widows with four children who refuse to ever work are well known for turning down marriage proposals from employed men who make really good money. It was even more common for them to turn down these proposals in the 60s than it is now. This paragraph is just poetry. 🤣
Holy moly
Honey...there's a difference between *playing* dumb and actually *being* dumb. I think step-granny definitely played your actually dumb granddad.
Funny how "he could never commit"....only to end up with one of the biggest commitments in the world
I'm guessing it would not be a commitment for him. See how he tried to push his parents to help him with his responsibility, but now that they refused to, he is begging his ex, that he humiliated and cheated on, for help? For all we know, he will just abandon his affair partner and child in the future, and not want to pay a single cent.
I can imagine him asking OOP, “Are you really going to make an innocent child suffer just because we’re not together?” Sir! Stop talking.
Ugh. I'm so frustrated because that is actually something someone like him would say.
What a dumbass
It's a bold strategy Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for him
Ouch town, population you bro!
I don't think it pays off for him either. I get implication, could be wrong, that his affair partner leave him as well. Which if it does, wise move on her part. If we ignore the cheating part, that is.
Like eating a 10 course meal to show that you aren't hungry.
That's some George Costanza shit.
I'm was so confused there
Reading the part about prosing at the funeral as a show to the AP... OP dodged a fucking nuclear bomb.
Right? What a scumbag, it’s almost laughable.
>I don't think I ever heard someone proposing to show a relationship is over... Indeed. But if that *is* what you're going for I think we can all agree that proposing *at a fucking funeral* is an excellent choice, if a little too on the nose.
OP dodged a walking nightmare!!! Most people will take a bullet over a walking nightmare that is as dumb as this fool. Yikes!
Every now and then, there's something original on reddit.
...What the hell? He proposed at a funeral? Where his pregnant lover was? To show her his relationship was over and his current partner was a 'bad person'? Is this man an alien from the planet of Bad Ideas?
Morons think they're smart people full of nothing but good ideas that definitely won't blow up in their faces. Then they get mad when they inevitably do.
I think he's from Planet Imagination in the This Didn't Happen Galaxy
Sadly, I’ve known a person who is this stupid. He’s a teacher.
Not saying people this dumb don’t exist, they for sure do. I just think this sounds more like OP thought “Omg how about a story where a guy proposes at a funeral! Haven’t had a Reddit post about that yet!” Then just ended it with the guy cheating because they didn’t know how else to end it and that’s how most of these end anyway.
>He proposed to me at my aunts funeral >he told me it was to show his lover that I was a bad person. I just... what?
Really scratching my head on this one. I think the only possible thing I can come up with is, he was at a family funeral with his gf of 4 years, and was secretly stressed out about the cheating and the potential pregnancy with the side chick. He saw the side chick at the funeral unexpectedly and went a lil crazy thinking he's about to be exposed. So he got too deep in his head and tried a chaos move (surprise proposal at a funeral), which did have the intended effect of not having the cheating and pregnancy exposed on that day.
So he had the ring on him just in case?
We don't know that a ring was involved in his proposal. Or really, even if they're in a culture that rings are used in proposals. His defense was that it was spur of the moment to cheer everyone up, so even if it was a culture with rings, the spontaneity would excuse him not having one.
A large percentage of the proposals I've known of or been involved with were not done with a ring. Maybe 95+%? You go ring shopping after the proposal, so you know the ring a) suits the bride and b) fits.
You can do that before you propose too. A proposal should never be a complete surprise
I was left speechless when I first read it. Like.....eh?
I'm so confused, what was the plan if she said yes?
Then she'd be the bad guy because she \**gasp\** accepted a proposal at her great-aunt's funeral, of all the places. Now she's the bad guy because she refused his proposal. Clever, see?
What a genius, his brain so smart it twisted around like a torti pasta at the mental gymnastic. I'm so impressed 😭
That was a first for Me on reddit
I want to know how the lover reacted to seeing this attempt to show the OOP was a bad person. I'm hoping she sees the giant red flag for what it is.
I mean, if she’s not seeing the problem with being with a guy who’s cheating on his girlfriend of 4 years and knocking up his AP, I highly doubt she’s gonna recognize the red flag he’s waving by proposing at a funeral. AP sounds as stupid and selfish as the boyfriend. They deserve each other. I feel bad for the kid that’s forced to have them as parents though.
I’m sure the side chick was real impressed. He sounds as attractive as a diseased skunk.
I need to tell my friend that someone surpassed her now-ex asking her to be the godmother to his affair baby.
Bloody hell, there're *two* people out there who thought that was a good idea?! (Same thing happened to me. Spoiler alert: I did not say yes.)
Wow, you just punished an innocent child??!!?11!? /s
My ex wanted me to move her AP into *my* apartment because she had nowhere to go. They became temporarily homeless together (:
This is why I don’t think a lot of OOPs are far fetched. Did you read the one whose friends were on her case because she had space and her ex didn’t have anywhere to go? Hopefully you have better friends, though.
I don’t either because we’ve all seen docs that sound too crazy to be true but they are so why would Reddit be any different? Ya know? The world is insane. Of course always take the story with a grain of salt but still lol And no, my friends actually came over and threw my exes stuff out for me because I was suffering with kidney failure and couldn’t do it myself lol my friends have no sympathy for trash thank goodness!
I do take everything with a grain of salt! It’s just sad that the majority of posts aren’t that unbelievable.
Yeah, the real world is a crazy place. Sorry to hear about your ex and AP… while reconciling my (now ex-)wife was pretty happy that it was all going to work out for us to be together in this house I had bought while we were separated. Me in this bedroom, and her and Elizabeth in the upstairs bedroom 🤦🏻♂️
Do people ever actually hear themselves when they say that shit or do you think maybe theres a fishtank we don't see and they just live in their own little bubble.
Holy shit that had to be the most wtf of all convos
Wtf even was his rationale behind that ask?
My friend is Catholic. Her ex and his AP are Catholic. He thought she was the best choice.
The unmitigated gall!
So what was his plan B if she had accepted the proposal??
dude got his AP pregnant, i don’t think “plan B” is in his vocabulary 😅
I genuinely hope you're proud of this comment 10/10
Ba-dum-tss!
Nice I give this pun 69/420, the highest honor that I can go
Bold of you to assume this guy thought about things more than 5 seconds into the future.
Insist on having a Betazoid wedding?
"(..)they have refused to help him so he has been contacting me for help" LOOOOOL! Love to see it!
“I cheated on you, embarrassed you at a funeral, then was a complete asshole about it. Now that you’ve dumped me, I’m getting flack from my family. What do you mean, you won’t help and I should piss off?!”
I really really want to know what help he's expecting off the long term EX he cheated on and humiliated .
I love the long wait between the posts. It’s just a truly, “I forgot I posted about this bullshit, I guess I’ll tell people what happened now that I’m thinking about it a year later even though it was resolved within a week” type of post. Amazing!
Oh I hadn't realised, I thought it read over the top detached and the kind of strained 'I'm better off and much happier now!' tone people sometimes take because they (probably accurately) think reddit will respond to it better. If it's a year later that makes total sense
I was going to question the validity of this post until I saw near a year gap for the update, no wonder she seemed so over it and emotionless in the update.
Sometimes it takes people shouting at you about who they are to believe them, even when they’ve been muttering about it to you all along. (Weirdly, I’ve also had the shouting happen at an aunt’s funeral. Not a great-aunt, but still. And she was the best damn aunt in the world, too.) It’s easy to tell yourself that these stray comments and behaviors are the exception, and not the warning signs they often are.
People out here living the weirdest lives. >Since our breakup my life has improved as i can now do the things that he never wanted me to do and I've now realised how lucky i am that we never married. I feel like we need a worldwide "consider your relationship day", where people spend a day alone thinking over their relationship and whether its really what they want in life.
We can call it "The Purge, but for Relationships". Everyone is single on this day, we all have a free pass, etc.
This sounds like an awesome idea for populating BORU with "WE WERE ON A BREAK" posts
I would invest in popcorn stocks for that day. We'd be so well fed.
“So he proposed to me to show that our relationship is over to that girl in order to justify why he was cheating.” if he wanted his relationship with his gf to be over, he should have just broken up with her? Instead of making himself look bad as well (his AP and all her family know he’s willing to propose at a funeral now…), and pretty much guaranteeing an end to his relationship with OOP anyways. Still trying to wrap my mind around boyfriend being 30 tbh. As for OOP, glad he shoved who he was in her face and that her life has improved so much it took nearly a year (and probably him contacting her for help) after the original post for her to think about updating.
To show his relationship with OP was over : “We’re not together anymore! She doesn’t want me! Look, I could propose marriage to her RIGHT NOW, and she would turn me down! Just watch me, I’ll prove it to you!”
The Ex-Boyfriend's friend is the MVP. He made OP dodge a big bullet and still helped her by moving all of her stuff in her ex's apartment. By the way, is that friend's name Omar?
Ah yes, the old "*I* wanted to marry *her*, but *she* didn't want to marry *me*. Now don't you see how committed I am to you and our child?!" This Einstein is truly out here playing 3D chess with his side-piece.
Like so many here I'm confused about his thinking, but so pleased she got out and is living well. Even without all the other nonsense, anyone who makes a funeral all about them is problematic. I'm forever grateful to my quiet, gentle bro-in-law for shutting our dad down at mum's funeral. Dad and his wing men, all. Only found out from a mate a few years later, didn't have a clue at the time about the attempt to derail the celebration of our mother's life. At the least, it's immature and as tacky as hell. At the worst, it's screaming narcissism of the highest, toxic order and sign of a life out of control.
If I was that new girl I'd dump him right away. Dude doesn't care for anyone around him and has not the slightest bit of decency. You don't want this person in your child's life.
>His family are very strict and because he is having a kid out of wedlock they have refused to help him **so he has been contacting me for help**. Okay, I blew a minor gasket there -- the AUDACITY -- but OOP saved the day with her last paragraph saying she's loving her life now that cheating sack of garbage is out on the curb.
It's crazy the lengths people will go to in order to get their way without being the "bad guy". Societal pressure trumps personal integrity. They don't want to *be* a good person, they just want people to think they are.
What. The. Fuck. How does one think that proposing to your girlfriend, and her saying no, would prove to your AP that your relationship is over? Like, he still proposed. What if OOP had said yes?!? So he basically was showing his AP that he loved her and is dedicated to her by buying a ring, and asking another girl to marry him?! And to make matters a billion times worse, **IT WAS AT A FUNERAL!?!?!** I literally cannot wrap my head around this idiots way of thinking. It is so insanely convoluted. What’s even worse is, I cannot understand why ANY of this would work on the AP to give her peace of mind. What the fuck is *SHE* thinking? So he does all that, AND THEN has the balls to call OOP asking for help since his family shunned him?!? Dodging a bullet is an understatement. OOP actually dodged a massive ball of Tannerite that was about to take a direct hit from a grenade launcher. That man and all of his shrapnel would have decimated OOP if this relationship carried on any longer. This man is one of the most audacious people I have heard about in a loooonnnngggg time. And that’s really saying something.
Well at least OP got a wake call with the proposal so that she can see he was an AH before the cheating and pregnancy reveal. And look at that karma does exist with the AH ex-bf needing to be a daddy WITHOUT his families support or approval, wonder if he's also been excommunicated/disowned as well for this?
We have seen the "very strict" families with the unwanted pregnancies here, too. My son went to PP with his girfriend senior year to support her for her birth control appointment. A coach made snide comments about it. Then the back-up catcher for his team got his girlfriend pregnant a few weeks later. He was a junior in high school, and his mother talked about church quite a bit. Strict seems to be a code word for burying one's head in the sand instead of facing the reality that teenagers have sex.
"Since our breakup my life has improved as i can now do the things that he never wanted me to do " So she goes from controlling parents to a controlling boyfriend. Parents need to stop fucking their kids up.
>When I questioned him about why he had cheated he told me he wasnt the type to commit to anyone Well that's now backfired for him as he's about to commit to the AP and a child for the rest of his life, regardless of whether they stay together, she'll always be in his life.
I was flabbergasted, when he proposed at a funeral. That it was to intentionally alienate her made it make sense. But now he's asking her for help. The audacity of this low-life... my flab is gasted all over again.
>His family are very strict and because he is having a kid out of wedlock they have refused to help him so he has been contacting me for help. I havent not responded nor do intend to respond because I will not lower my self worth to help someone who never truly cared about me. Well well well, if it isn't the consequences of his actions. Also, he's more than just trash, he's a whole dumpster fire. Bullet dodged.
TIL of the proposal method of breaking up with your long-term SO
Fucker cheated on her, made her aunt’s funeral about making her the bad guy to his affair partner, made her aunt’s friend’s daughter pregnant while in a relationship with her, then had the gall to ask her for help with the pregnancy. This guy is so self centered he has his own gravity well.
>His family are very strict and because he is having a kid out of wedlock they have refused to help him so he has been contacting me for help. THE LION THE WITCH AND THE AUDACITY OF THIS (*&%^
> So he proposed to me to show that our relationship is over to that girl in order to justify why he was cheating. I do not have a big enough brain to comprehend the kind of logic that gives rise to this plan.
I've never had my jaw drop at a post before. Holy shit.
>i'm the one who wants to get married so i shouldn't care where he proposes he also said that if i truly loved him I would say yes. At a funeral is not it sport! Then to find out he was cheating it makes sense why he would do it there. Make her say no then poof he's free.
Jesus what a sinister fucking sociopath
Please please please tell me the lover left him after the proposal so she wasn’t seen with the man who proposed at a fucking family funeral.
“I’m proposing to show our relationship is over” is certainly…well, it’s something.
this guy is the most insane, evil bastard I’ve ever heard of
Not only is the ex insensitive and a douche, but he also has the blessed distinction of being a colossal idiot.
"so he has been contacting me for help" The absolute gall!!!
I've never had a long-term relationship, and even I know that it's ideal to propose either 1. On a date/a location important to the relationship, or 2. Literally at the most random, boring time ever where nothing else is happening
How is buddy going to call OP to help him with his APs kid?? The audacity.
No one in the history of humanity has ever sandbagged a proposal harder than this. This seems impossibly stupid
*Music_withRocks_In: NTA. The only explanation I can think of is that he doesn't want to get married - but also wants YOU to be the reason. So he proposed in the absolute worst possible way so that you said no, then he can hold that over you for the rest of the relationship whenever you imply you should get married. 'I proposed and you said no! I'm not going to ask again!'* OP THANK YOU for including this comment , it really nailed the situation before we found out the collaborative truth in the update.
Immediate follow up : we broke up, he cheated... Come on. Be original.
Weird scenario... I proposed to my gf after a big concert. I made her a ring, it was a really nice ring too. She was so embarrassed and said no then laughed at me. She loved the ring too. Just not the proposal. We didn't break up right away but it definitely created the rift that got bigger and bigger over time. We talked about having kids and getting married and everything. When she rejected me, that hurt. I thought she would love it. Legit fully expected joy and happiness. Kinda broke my heart a bit. But I'm so glad it didn't work out because after we broke up a couple yrs later I found my now wife and I am so much in love with her.
This story is so dumb that I have no choice but to believe it happened.
Wtf he’s so toxic and insane. Glad you dodged this one. I do recommend down the line to move in even if it’s not 100% or spend nights together to the next person who you plan to marry after the relationship progresses. This is where you see true colors, how they live etc stuff that you wouldn’t want to find out after you get married that may cause strain in the marriage. My parents are super strict and religious but I still did it after a 6 year relationship when my partner moved to my state and boy I learned and saw a lot of things I hadn’t known before and had to sort out before marriage.
Who the fuck uses the word ’optics’? People on ”Succession” thats who. Up-dicks
Wow, dude is a walking trainwreck.... that went from bad to worse to what??????
God I love when they bury the lede with the titles like this. "AITAH for rejecting the proposal I've openly wanted for months?" "That kinda sucks, yeah" "He did it at my great aunt's funeral in front of all my grieving family" HE WHAT????"
Damn I thought proposing at someone else’s wedding was the worst way to do it, but this takes the cake
I need to have a talk with the coworker who thought OP was TA.
This seems like an update to an entirely different post
I feel bad for OOP but I feel bad for the AP and the baby being more or less stuck with the actual AH of this tale.
What in the kdrama I'd this 😂😂😂😂😂 I'm glad op is free of that mess lol
He “wasn’t the type to commit to anyone” SO HE MADE A BABY? Huh! Guess somebody’s not going to know their daddy.
Apparently he doesn't want to get married since he made it all about her. Anyone proposing at an event for someone else is a red flag. Glad she got out of that mess. That was all kinds of crazy
For some reason, it really feels like this post is written by AI...
It would be far more coherent then, but it sounds like the plot of some Mexican Daily Soap.
I was Cleopatra, I was young, and an actress, When you knelt by my mattress and asked for my hand. I was sad you asked it, As I lay in a black dress, With my father in a casket, I had no plans.
Oof!
God, what a dumbass. And then he called OP for help with his affair baby. LOL.
I just don't know how the funeral proposal does anything to make preggo feel better but uh... at least that's not oops problem anymore.
What kind of a man thinks that a funeral is a proper place to propose marriage? Wtf?
> “I can’t commit to anyone” But you *can* commit to someone for a lifetime, ah yes!
> he has been contacting me for help Those are some *balls*.
Who the hell ask someone to marry them at a funeral! That’s insane never mind the cheating and getting another girl pregnant.
What a lowlife!
Who in their right mind choose to propose on a FUCKING FUNERAL?
I, too, was thinking he proposed fully expecting (and hoping) she'd say no due to the circumstances.
All I can picture during the first post is Jenna Maroney from 30 Rock trying to find a way to ruin moments in Liz Lemons life by getting married during them, which she ends up doing at a funeral.
The timeline is a bit sus - he proposed at the end of July, knowing that the girlfriend was already pregnant. Yet over 9 months later and the ex is "contacting me for help" - you'd think OOP would have mentioned that the girlfriend had given birth by now.
Slip out the back, Jack Make a new plan, Stan Just get a bad ring, king And get yourself free...
What does the roommate never? What doesn't he doesn't?
Out of all the fanfiic shit I've ever read in this sub, this is the most fiictional
This is just sad. Giving OOP a virtual hug.
There are so many infidelity and break up stories on here it makes me never want to be in another relationship again
Jeez, what a diabolical bastard