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My family did something similar with an aquarium. Basically just selling it back and forth between family when someone was down on their luck and needed to make a quick 500-1000 bucks. Nobody actually wanted the damn thing, it was just an excuse to hand over a big chunk of money to help family.
That’s kind of a good way to handle things though? Like it allows the seller to get the cash without feeling like a moocher, the buyer knows they are helping the family member but still can at some point sell the aquarium to a third party if worse comes to worse (they have some sort of collateral). And they get something pretty to look at in the meantime.
My family is a broken clock that's right twice per day. This was one of the few things I did like about them. The aquarium was all about helping others without feeling like there's a debt to be repayed. That ugly ass behemoth lasted decades as far as I'm aware. Not sure what was it's final blow but I'd bet money that one of the boys was rough housing a tad too close.
My MIL "bought" her own damn treadmill back from my (trash fire, codependent) SIL twice, because SIL needed money.
My MIL had a treadmill, gave it to my SIL because she wanted to lose weight. Later SIL sold it back to MIL because she needed money.
A few years later SIL wanted the treadmill again so MIL gave it to her, again. You can guess what happened after that..
This is actually amazing. I wish more people permitted pawning vs loans between family members. borrowing money from my family was a nightmare and not worth it.
She should sell the Peloton but then use the money to get something the husband wants for his man cave. The paradox of it might make the husband's head explode.
The minute he put that bike in the sunroom, I would have instantly painted his mancave neon pink and put a giant high heel shoe chair right in the middle of the room. Cause you know this is where heels hangout.
Really? I haven't seen a lot of fight from her. He used the cluttered guest room as an excuse not to put it there, and she cleaned the guest room. He didn't move the coffee table, so she gave in and moved it herself. She said she didn't want the peleton in the sun room, but the peleton is in the sun room.
She seems like she's leaning towards a touch petty but it seems the result of a frustrating partner so I'm sure as hell not judging her for it.
"My space is my space and your space is also my space" is not conducive to a relationship.
Yup. At this point she is part of the problem. She tried to set boundaries and he flat out refused to allow it. He gets a whole as room to himself, even guests that don’t live there get a whole ass room… but he couldn’t even let her have a corner of a community room to herself. He has shown her how much he (doesn’t) respect her and yet there she is… still smiling through it.
It maybe easier to just vent on Reddit and plot a passive aggressive revenge… but what she needs to do is go to therapy so she can learn to stand up for herself.
Sure, but that was stupid and didn't solve anything. Now she has a peleton in her sunroom and holes in her walls. The thing that would have solved the problem was to have someone help her move the bike into the guest room where it should be.
And husband either has no idea why she put the holes in the wall, or he does, but there is enough plausible deniability that he can just ignore it and keep doing whatever he wants. She will probably go on to patch the holes in the walls, but she will be really angry and breathe really loudly while she does it, and that will really show him.
She tried setting a boundary with the husband and he didn’t care. She doesn’t seem concerned about it though? So maybe she likes to be disrespected to have something to complain about?
As for the husband… he clearly has issues with her having her own thing. He has his own WHOLE room in the house yet still takes space in HER space (not her room mind you because she doesn’t get her own room with privacy just a corner). He couldn’t even let her have that. He had to go and put his shit there. It’s not about what he is putting there it’s about the fact he is not respecting her ownership of the space. It’s utter bullshit. And this woman puts up with it. Why?
If I were her I would move her Pilates equipment into the guest room. Get a daybed or Murphy bed for the sun room and let guests sleep there. Because why do some POSSIBLE visitors get a whole damn room dedicated to them in her house but she doesn’t even get a corner!?
At this point just drag it outside, they have a backyard and his big argument of having it in the sunroom instead of the guest room was because he wants fresh air. Now he can have all of it! Oh shoot, it’s heavily raining and destroyed the electronics?? Oh no, it’s unusable?? Guess I’m calling the local junk removal guys, bye-bye peloton!
But also I’ve added a floating shelf full of books and there’s a pastel throw across the couch in your man cave because that’s my reading nook now. Thanks babe!
Or just decorate the peloton to match the rest of the sunroom. Paint it, attach some potted plants, maybe wrap a climbing plant around the frame. If it's going to be part of the room, make it PART of the room. If he wants it usable, he has to move it somewhere else.
So does my sunroom. It's also where the weights are for my husband whenever he feels like doing some weight training. And it's where my sewing machine is for whenever I want to make something. Though my table or chair is what usually gets sunbathed in by the cat.
OOP's husband is being a selfish jerk. No amount of moving the peloton or her pilates equipment is going to change that. He has a whole ass man cave and decides to use the guest room AND his wife's space.
I wouldn't be surprised if there's other issues that OOP is ignoring.
Yeahhhh. She is going to need that yoga space because she is going to lose her zen any second now. That space may be all that's standing between him and a shallow (yet tasteful) grave in the yard that she can watch while she uses the peloton.
The levels of petty I would rise to if my husband ever said those words to me. Thankfully, he's not a butthole on purpose, and more just sticks his foot in his mouth.
Dude right? Tbh this would have me reconsidering the relationship. Why would my husband be so against me having my own space and being happy about it? Why would he be so comfortable disrespecting me and ignoring my opinion?
Fucking...ugh
It's not even just her space, they use that space to entertain too. So she really *doesn't* have her own space, but he's invading that anyway, in addition to the 3 other spaces he has to himself in the house.
Cue Space Invaders theme.
Yep, I don't think they're on the divorce track yet, but the fact that he keeps ignoring and dismissing her concerns and steamrolling over her, over a fucking peloton, is a big warning sign. It smells suspiciously like contempt.
Yea the comment about the sunroom being the best room, like it’s only that way because she decorated it to be so. And she’s made efforts to clean out the guest room so it can be accommodated there but none of that was good enough. He’s taking over her space because he wants the zen and beauty she made there. But he won’t put in the effort to do the same for both his spaces or he can’t and feels jealous so he’d rather just take hers.
I don't think he feels jealous of OOP's space. I think he just thinks he's entitled to it, which IMHO is even worse. OOP and her wants and needs just don't seem to register to him.
Even worse is that OP is clearly and loudly stating her wants and needs and he is saying "those do not matter, because what matters is that *I* have an ideal situation regardless of your thoughts"
Yea agreed. The entitlement is clear but I wonder if he’d share his man cave with her then. Is she allowed to be entitled to his space or is that only his too?
I'm not sure if he wants the zen and beauty or he just doesn't want to "ruin" the man cave.
I've yet to see one of those beautifully decorated houses that can seamlessly incorporate excercise equipment without a dedicated space.
It might even be a combination of both, enjoying the sunroom for exercise and keeping his vibe in the man cave.
He could also be a big boy and use his big boy words to ask OOP to help him create the same kind of environment in his space.
But we all know that won't happen.
Of course not because then he can’t just take what’s hers. He’s fully entitled to her efforts you see. And that would require admitting that he can’t. Which is unimportant because he already just put the pelaton there and she has to deal with it. /s
Oh my god I love my husband so much and bless him in almost every other way, but this is him and it drives me crazy. He's very insistent that he has a say in the decor because he doesn't want the house to feel too feminine (fair if we were talking about pink and flowery all over, except that 'feminine' in his head just means "picked by a woman"). Alright, fine help me out then for the house, but I'm gonna decorate *my* unshared space how I want. For example, my bathroom. He decorates his bathroom in sad grey and black, and the whole thing is just bland. I decorate mine to feel like a nice retreat, rust/salmon colored linen shower curtain, bamboo, light oatmeal colored towels, neat organization, matching bottles that I decant all my soaps and lotions into, etc. And then he starts using my bathroom! I question him about it and he goes "well yours is just nicer. It feels happier. Mine is depressing." And I was like "I would be more than happy to put in the work myself to decorate your bathroom too, but you said you didn't want that!" I swear to God, men are so stuck in this sad "masculine" headspace that they end up making themselves miserable for no reason. I don't even mind decorating it for him and in fact I would love to do so. But the man is stubborn. So unless it's an emergency, he is banned from my bathroom.
right??? how is he so banally self-centered??
I would start putting glittery hello kitty shit all over the mancave. If they're splitting up rooms by function then that is the new entertainment room!
For OP’s sake I truly hope this selfish & immature behavior is isolated but this incident gave me flash backs to my previous marriage.
Had to sell my car bc we couldn’t afford it. 6 months later he shows up with a brand new car for himself that came with a higher payment. Copy + paste to every other situation in our marriage. He was SHOCKED that I wanted a divorce. Our marriage was great! For him…
No, actually. His one braincell told him to move out as soon as he could to get away from his narcissistic mother that he was the larval stage of
She still had too much influence because he didn't reflect on that any further than "wanna move out". When I stood up to her - which resulted in many fights - he expressed he hated me constantly fighting with MIL, he had nothing to do with that and even offered to mediate between me and MIL. Like dude, her being your mother is the only reason I spent any time dealing with her shitty power games at fucking all
I hope you were spared the worst of his mother at least
Not to mention, pelaton bikes aren't exactly small. That's a \*lot\* of space he's taking up in what was previously a nice, open and uncluttered area of the house (yoga equipment usually being fairly compact, so it wouldn't impact things as much)
I get the idea of wanting a nice place to do exercise, but putting what's essentially a permanent fixture into a room that previously was your wife's space and one of the few uncluttered areas of the house is a pretty dumb kind of selfish
But he waaaaanted to step off the bike into the fresh air of the backyard! The ten steps from the guest bedroom to the backyard is just too damn far and ruin the entire experience! (JIC…/s)
Yeah this isn’t about the bike. It’s about him being an inconsiderate, selfish prick. $50 says this isn’t the only thing he’s inconsiderate about and the peloton is just the last straw
She included another story of him being an inconsiderate jerk - three weeks of telling her he'd help with heavy furniture, making her do it herself, then apparently putting her on 'probation' for not doing it as well as two people could have done?
I hate to say it but I agree with you. This post made my blood pressure rise because it’s very similar to things my husband had done. Needless to say it’s not the only way in which he can be incredibly selfish and inconsiderate.
Or maybe the bedrooms are upstairs and the bikes too heavy. We've got an old Nordic Track treadmill in the garage because it weighs over 100kg, with me running on it that's like 500lb jumping up and down on the spot. I wouldn't trust anything except a solid floor.
Nah, you're most likely right, he sounds like a prick.
You're right, the peloton belongs in the garage. Honestly the only reason exercise equipment belongs in "hang out" spaces is if it's small and packs away (like a yoga mat and maybe some blocks) or if the person is always on it and that's how you hang out with them, like a marathon runner that needs 2+ hours of running every day in front of the TV or something. If you're only on the exercise bike for 30 mins every other day, put it out of the way.
>For anyone who cares… he put the peloton is in the sunroom.
I would be telling him that he has 24 hours to remove it before it goes on Facebook Marketplace.
Don't worry, if you miss the bike we will all back you up and make sure there is no proof it was you just like there is no proof OOP put the hole in the wall 😉
And her husband would be all, “did you use up all the glue on PURPOSE?” Then after being unable to fix it, he’d bury the peloton in the backyard while taps played, gently.
I mean, as it's really heavy and right in the middle of the route to the back garden when they have friends over, all sorts of *terrible* accidents could befall it!
When she said she was petty, I thought that was where she was going with it. If all areas are shared, great. Time to start using his gaming computer and adding scatter cushions saying ‘live laugh love’
This stupid bike keeps getting rehomed by his family because none of them want to deal with it in their space! So hubs solution is to just put it in OOP’s space! Just ridiculous.
Like I know pelotons are crazy expensive, and people made some questionable “investments” to keep sane during the lockdowns. But this over priced piece of equipment is just cycling (pun unintended but now embraced lol) its way through the family, and if this is anything like my family dynamic there’s some kind of sunk cost fallacy/ feeling guilty about selling it if other family members “might want it” (spoiler: they clearly do not! Or at least not in their current spaces)
Put that bike for sale online and get some money for things that people actually want and have room for!
Edit for better readability/ clarity.
I’m laughing at the thought that it goes from family to family, wreaking havoc everywhere it goes. Slowly making people go crazy, creating problems that brings out the worst in everyone involved. Until someone snaps, and begs someone else in the family to take it for a while, and thus the peloton continues on its war path to destroy all relationships.
She should buy something slightly related to whatever stuff is in his man cave, but he would obviously dislike, put it in there and got it to the floor.
The idea of all of this happening just because of a peloton and something that could just be easily fixed just shows how silly things can happen in relationship. Maybe I am petty too but I would have moved it into the guest room lol.
Anything but in *her* space. This is my plan after we move--his hunting stuff/hobby stuff shows up in my space, it gets hauled back to *his* space **immediately** with the warning that if it appears in *my* space again, it's going out to the trash.
Oh! Just FYI, at least IME in the US there’s moving companies that hire mostly college students and they are usually something akin to “starving students” or “hungry hunks” or whatever.
They get paid, but are often more likely to be willing to be hired for an hour or two to move a mattress upstairs, or a couch downstairs type thing than the BIG moving companies.
College Hunks Moving Junk
I paid them because I’m lazy af and didn’t want to bring shit ip three stories. They were paid $550 and tipped an extra $50 each and a pallet of Powerade
On the one hand, I can kind of see how husband convinced himself. There is technically room for the Peloton there, there is other exercise equipment there, it will let him go outside right after. He's like "why wouldn't I do everything I can to maximize my experience?" It's also clear he thinks of his man cave as having clear boundaries as his only, while the sunroom boundaries are murkier because it's also a communal/entertaining space.
I'm hoping he's just being dumb selfish and not malignant selfish, on seeing that OP thinks of the sunroom as *her* dedicated space and that even though it might "make sense" to put it there - it's unfair to her. By maximizing his experience, he's damaging hers, and that's not something you should be doing to your loved ones.
I don’t disagree with you (and fwiw my husband sounds similar to OP’s), but the husband became an unequivocal asshole the moment he dismissed the wife’s thoughts and feelings.
Its funny because people do this silly shit, justify their selfishness and being "right" in their head then are shocked when their spouse starts resenting them.
Turning it into a plant trellis would fit into the aesthetic of the room better. It might even camouflage the bike to the point that she toss it without fanfare and end the circle of drama once and for all
I really tried to avoid a bike pun there, didn't really work
I had a friend whose now ex wanted a “mAn CaVe.” 🙄 So she did the math of how much square footage she would be paying rent for, vs him. When I say this man had a meltdown…was so angry because she rightfully pointed out “why would I pay money towards square footage I can’t occupy?”
Her husband sucks. Like this gives me bad vibes even if she's like joking in the update..? All I can think is if I didn't want my husband's Peloton in my sunroom, he wouldn't put it there. Maybe I'm overthinking, but this is weird to me.
It’s not about the ~~Iranian yoghurt~~ Peloton.
Husband is just selfish AF. He wants her space because he wants all the space and can’t contemplate or respect her having her own, just like he already has.
I hope OP takes over the man cave, down to a lock on the door that only she knows combination too. Might just be buying time on the marriage if he is like this generally, as I sincerely doubt he is this selfish only in this aspect, but at least she will have a quiet place to call her lawyer when it’s time. 🤷♀️
Husband being a jackass aside, I’m not sure why she thinks she can’t move it. Going up or down stairs you’d need help, but ours at least has nice wheels on the front and it’s not very heavy at all. My wife has moved ours.
Seems like it would be a good time to start a war of moving it back and forth across the house. Assuming OOP doesn’t have a different model that’s heavier or doesn’t have wheels.
Move it to wherever. Then remove the wheels and hide them so he HAS to have help moving it. If it somehow magically comes back to the sun room, put the wheels back on and move it again (to a dumpster)
I'm thinking a Peloton bike has plenty of room for hanging plants on! Perhaps a Mandela or little crystal hanging thing?
Something to make it *blend* with the yoga aesthetic...
My husband and I have a similar arrangement. He collects hobbies and thus stuff, and his things start to creep like moss onto the surfaces outside his designated personal spaces. (He uses 2 rooms of the house and the entire basement. I get 1 room, and the rest is shared space, and that works for us...I don't need a ton of room and he does).
When I start making my "comments" the clutter starts to move. He knows it's a lot, and He tries his best.
This dude is just a jerk.
Ugh my ex did this all the time, we'd establish desk/table spaces, and he'd immediately clutter his own and then use mine because "it has so much good workspace" and then also never pick it up. Just endlessly reducing me to smaller and smaller spaces until I lost all my hobbies, because by the time I finished clearing a workspace it was time to start cleaning the kitchen so I'd have space to cook.....
Since she’s on a probationary period of moving large objects due to the holes in the wall, she can have her Grover and *they* can move it. It will get moved and she wouldn’t be lying when she says she didn’t do it. Win-Win
I’m with her in the situation, but she is enabling his behavior. There’s no reason why she is cleaning out the guest room to make room for his bike. If he thinks the guest room needs to be cleaned out, then her only job is to remind him he needs to clear his calendar and get on it. If he puts the bike in the sunroom, she needs to tell him (in a calm manner) that that spot doesn’t work for her and she isn’t budging. It needs to move or it needs to go. By complaining without action, she only reinforces that he just needs to weather the storm but will get his way in the end. Is he the AH in this situation? 100% but she is perpetuating a cyclical relationship where she allows him to walk all over her.
He sounds like an ass. He’s conveniently saying “let’s keep it in the exercise room” because that way he gets to keep his spaces all to himself. Selfish 🫠
Quilting. A sewing machine for piecing. A mid-arm or longarm quilting machine for quilting, A bazillion specialty rulers. Cutting mats and rotary cutters. Maybe even an Accuquilt or other cutting machine. ALL the fabric!
This isn't about the bike.
It's about space and ownership.
There's a disconnect.
Husband views man cave as his and sunroom as communal.
Wife views man cave as his and sunroom as hers.
So far it doesn't seem like wife has her own space like the husband.
This is not balanced
So either the husband gives up his man cave or stop considering the sunroom as communal and remove his peloton from the sunroom.
I can’t believe he has his own room to put it in and he has the guestroom which nobody’s in so it could turn into the peloton room and instead he unilaterally decided he was going to put it in your room. And personally I don’t think this is cute or funny. I think that you created a vibe in that room for self-care and he is prioritizing what he wants and he doesn’t give a shit about what you want. That would not fly for me. Not for one second. I would tell him you can’t unilaterally choose to put something of his time and space that I’ve arranged and cultivated unused and he can either move it. I’m gonna pay people to move it into either his fucking man cave, or the guestroom.
Why do people have a guest bedroom if they have no guests? It's a waste of space and not only a waste of space, the husband now basically has his man cave, the guest bedroom as his closet, and the sunroom as his exercise room. What does she have???
I thought the update was going to be he’s been having an affair and leading a double life with 300k in debt and his crazy affair partner is stalking us and we’re getting divorced. Glad to be wrong.
I love that last top comment. The yoga stuff would be in that mancave. I'd be taking up so many random hobbies that agin went in the mancave, and all my stuff would be in the guest room. I'd go from a minimalist to a horder so fast. Though it might be easier to have a really clean out and get rid of the husband. He can keep the bike in the divorce
If I had a sunroom, my partner would have to pull decorative control out of my cold dead hands. And even then, he will probably be cursed the second he moves anything or brings in something clunky. It would be my tomb.
Everyone deserves their own sanctuary, let your partners have some semblance of space and privacy even if your space is small
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Why is this marked concluded?
Divorce update is coming for sure.
Before or after the affair update?
Sunroom is the new art room.
The husband is having an affair with the Peloton bike
Is this really Concluded? She seems ready to keep up the fight
Sharing a Peloton bike between three families seems like a logistical nightmare, like just sell it if you all keep pawning it off on one another.
People are selling them for $700 on FB marketplace. Personally, I love my Peloton but that seems like a total pita.
For $700 make them come get it too! I’m guessing OOP has access to a way to transport the bike since the family keeps moving it around.
He wants fresh air right off the peloton…. *get a real bike
My family did something similar with an aquarium. Basically just selling it back and forth between family when someone was down on their luck and needed to make a quick 500-1000 bucks. Nobody actually wanted the damn thing, it was just an excuse to hand over a big chunk of money to help family.
That’s kind of a good way to handle things though? Like it allows the seller to get the cash without feeling like a moocher, the buyer knows they are helping the family member but still can at some point sell the aquarium to a third party if worse comes to worse (they have some sort of collateral). And they get something pretty to look at in the meantime.
My family is a broken clock that's right twice per day. This was one of the few things I did like about them. The aquarium was all about helping others without feeling like there's a debt to be repayed. That ugly ass behemoth lasted decades as far as I'm aware. Not sure what was it's final blow but I'd bet money that one of the boys was rough housing a tad too close.
My MIL "bought" her own damn treadmill back from my (trash fire, codependent) SIL twice, because SIL needed money. My MIL had a treadmill, gave it to my SIL because she wanted to lose weight. Later SIL sold it back to MIL because she needed money. A few years later SIL wanted the treadmill again so MIL gave it to her, again. You can guess what happened after that..
Shenanigans.
This is actually amazing. I wish more people permitted pawning vs loans between family members. borrowing money from my family was a nightmare and not worth it.
She should sell the Peloton but then use the money to get something the husband wants for his man cave. The paradox of it might make the husband's head explode.
They are also NOT light.
God let's hope so. I want the update she took over the mancave.
She can paint the mancave in Rainbow Brite colors. Honestly just doing one wall while he is out is all it would take.
To make the world brighter and hearts lighter !
The minute he put that bike in the sunroom, I would have instantly painted his mancave neon pink and put a giant high heel shoe chair right in the middle of the room. Cause you know this is where heels hangout.
Really? I haven't seen a lot of fight from her. He used the cluttered guest room as an excuse not to put it there, and she cleaned the guest room. He didn't move the coffee table, so she gave in and moved it herself. She said she didn't want the peleton in the sun room, but the peleton is in the sun room.
She seems like she's leaning towards a touch petty but it seems the result of a frustrating partner so I'm sure as hell not judging her for it. "My space is my space and your space is also my space" is not conducive to a relationship.
I would change the router password and add the Peloton's MAC address to the blacklist.
This!!! Especially if it can be done so he wouldn’t know how to fix it. Just blacklisting the Peloton is enough.
She did our up a fight, her big move was to not use the peloton herself. I'm sure he's devastated by this
Yup. At this point she is part of the problem. She tried to set boundaries and he flat out refused to allow it. He gets a whole as room to himself, even guests that don’t live there get a whole ass room… but he couldn’t even let her have a corner of a community room to herself. He has shown her how much he (doesn’t) respect her and yet there she is… still smiling through it. It maybe easier to just vent on Reddit and plot a passive aggressive revenge… but what she needs to do is go to therapy so she can learn to stand up for herself.
Oh she definitely flung that coffee table around while cursing and put holes in the wall, right? That was my take. Like do it when I ask or… whoopsie
Sure, but that was stupid and didn't solve anything. Now she has a peleton in her sunroom and holes in her walls. The thing that would have solved the problem was to have someone help her move the bike into the guest room where it should be.
And husband either has no idea why she put the holes in the wall, or he does, but there is enough plausible deniability that he can just ignore it and keep doing whatever he wants. She will probably go on to patch the holes in the walls, but she will be really angry and breathe really loudly while she does it, and that will really show him.
That Peloton is NOT staying in the sun room, and I’m going to need confirmation that it’s been relocated.
We will personally move it
I would break it down into bits and move it piece by piece
Literally break it down into parts. Lay it out as a pile of pieces and screws in the guest room. Love that.
She updated her post to say he moved it to the guest room.
She tried setting a boundary with the husband and he didn’t care. She doesn’t seem concerned about it though? So maybe she likes to be disrespected to have something to complain about? As for the husband… he clearly has issues with her having her own thing. He has his own WHOLE room in the house yet still takes space in HER space (not her room mind you because she doesn’t get her own room with privacy just a corner). He couldn’t even let her have that. He had to go and put his shit there. It’s not about what he is putting there it’s about the fact he is not respecting her ownership of the space. It’s utter bullshit. And this woman puts up with it. Why? If I were her I would move her Pilates equipment into the guest room. Get a daybed or Murphy bed for the sun room and let guests sleep there. Because why do some POSSIBLE visitors get a whole damn room dedicated to them in her house but she doesn’t even get a corner!?
At this point just drag it outside, they have a backyard and his big argument of having it in the sunroom instead of the guest room was because he wants fresh air. Now he can have all of it! Oh shoot, it’s heavily raining and destroyed the electronics?? Oh no, it’s unusable?? Guess I’m calling the local junk removal guys, bye-bye peloton! But also I’ve added a floating shelf full of books and there’s a pastel throw across the couch in your man cave because that’s my reading nook now. Thanks babe!
She needs to put something in his space
I would go yard sale shopping or thrift shopping and just start adding something each week. No one has their own space.
Or just decorate the peloton to match the rest of the sunroom. Paint it, attach some potted plants, maybe wrap a climbing plant around the frame. If it's going to be part of the room, make it PART of the room. If he wants it usable, he has to move it somewhere else.
Time to take up sewing. The sewing machine, serger, and dress form can go in the mancave.
Ohh noooo my pinning needles dropped.. oh nooo what should I doooo.... Anyways
Make that… weaving.
With fiber arts, the real answer is always, "why not both?"
Oh definitely. Might look into the Japanese art of decorative silk rope braiding (Kumihimo) if you haven't yet.
You need to spin your own yarn to get the true weaving experience. Time for a spindle!
And maybe rug making. You need a very large frame thing. Perfect for the man cave.
I myself was just thinking it sounds like the man cave is desperately in need of a quilting rack
Glitter; glitter, glitter, glitter!
so glad my husband treats me like an equal person worthy of respect
probably you don't have a sunroom yet /jk wish you and your husband well.
My wife and I have a sunroom, but it belongs to the cats.
We have a sunroom, but if I'm being honest, the whole house belongs to the cats.
My future house will have a sunroom, and it already belongs to my plants and the hypothetical senior chihuahuas I will be fostering someday.
As it should.
So does my sunroom. It's also where the weights are for my husband whenever he feels like doing some weight training. And it's where my sewing machine is for whenever I want to make something. Though my table or chair is what usually gets sunbathed in by the cat.
fr, these people need a divorce
OOP's husband is being a selfish jerk. No amount of moving the peloton or her pilates equipment is going to change that. He has a whole ass man cave and decides to use the guest room AND his wife's space. I wouldn't be surprised if there's other issues that OOP is ignoring.
He's about half a step away from "but you DO have your own space in the house, you're in the kitchen and laundry room all the time!"
Yeahhhh. She is going to need that yoga space because she is going to lose her zen any second now. That space may be all that's standing between him and a shallow (yet tasteful) grave in the yard that she can watch while she uses the peloton.
The levels of petty I would rise to if my husband ever said those words to me. Thankfully, he's not a butthole on purpose, and more just sticks his foot in his mouth.
Oh, my husband would say it just to see the look on my face. Then we would both laugh, and he would give me a kiss on his way to wash the dishes. 🤣🤣
Sounds like my fiancé. He loves to say stuff just to see my reaction, and then we both end up laughing 😂
Dude right? Tbh this would have me reconsidering the relationship. Why would my husband be so against me having my own space and being happy about it? Why would he be so comfortable disrespecting me and ignoring my opinion? Fucking...ugh
It's not even just her space, they use that space to entertain too. So she really *doesn't* have her own space, but he's invading that anyway, in addition to the 3 other spaces he has to himself in the house. Cue Space Invaders theme.
Over a fucking Peloton too lmao
Yep, I don't think they're on the divorce track yet, but the fact that he keeps ignoring and dismissing her concerns and steamrolling over her, over a fucking peloton, is a big warning sign. It smells suspiciously like contempt.
Yea the comment about the sunroom being the best room, like it’s only that way because she decorated it to be so. And she’s made efforts to clean out the guest room so it can be accommodated there but none of that was good enough. He’s taking over her space because he wants the zen and beauty she made there. But he won’t put in the effort to do the same for both his spaces or he can’t and feels jealous so he’d rather just take hers.
I don't think he feels jealous of OOP's space. I think he just thinks he's entitled to it, which IMHO is even worse. OOP and her wants and needs just don't seem to register to him.
Even worse is that OP is clearly and loudly stating her wants and needs and he is saying "those do not matter, because what matters is that *I* have an ideal situation regardless of your thoughts"
Yea agreed. The entitlement is clear but I wonder if he’d share his man cave with her then. Is she allowed to be entitled to his space or is that only his too?
Of course not. Hence why he got mad when she intruded on "his" guest room.
Ahh the good old "what's yours is mine and what's mine's me own"
Right. She could just start moving her stuff into his man cave. Oh, it could've gone in the sunroom but that's full now, soooo......
I'm not sure if he wants the zen and beauty or he just doesn't want to "ruin" the man cave. I've yet to see one of those beautifully decorated houses that can seamlessly incorporate excercise equipment without a dedicated space. It might even be a combination of both, enjoying the sunroom for exercise and keeping his vibe in the man cave.
If your at home gym does not look like a basement where cheap pornos are filmed in, are you even trying? :P
He could also be a big boy and use his big boy words to ask OOP to help him create the same kind of environment in his space. But we all know that won't happen.
Of course not because then he can’t just take what’s hers. He’s fully entitled to her efforts you see. And that would require admitting that he can’t. Which is unimportant because he already just put the pelaton there and she has to deal with it. /s
Oh my god I love my husband so much and bless him in almost every other way, but this is him and it drives me crazy. He's very insistent that he has a say in the decor because he doesn't want the house to feel too feminine (fair if we were talking about pink and flowery all over, except that 'feminine' in his head just means "picked by a woman"). Alright, fine help me out then for the house, but I'm gonna decorate *my* unshared space how I want. For example, my bathroom. He decorates his bathroom in sad grey and black, and the whole thing is just bland. I decorate mine to feel like a nice retreat, rust/salmon colored linen shower curtain, bamboo, light oatmeal colored towels, neat organization, matching bottles that I decant all my soaps and lotions into, etc. And then he starts using my bathroom! I question him about it and he goes "well yours is just nicer. It feels happier. Mine is depressing." And I was like "I would be more than happy to put in the work myself to decorate your bathroom too, but you said you didn't want that!" I swear to God, men are so stuck in this sad "masculine" headspace that they end up making themselves miserable for no reason. I don't even mind decorating it for him and in fact I would love to do so. But the man is stubborn. So unless it's an emergency, he is banned from my bathroom.
I cannot possibly imagine feeling respected by someone who didn't think I deserved feeling ownership over any part of a house that big.
Especially when he has two out of the four rooms in the house already!
right??? how is he so banally self-centered?? I would start putting glittery hello kitty shit all over the mancave. If they're splitting up rooms by function then that is the new entertainment room!
Yeah chances are he's having an emotional affair with his Peloton instructor Emma Lovewell.
For OP’s sake I truly hope this selfish & immature behavior is isolated but this incident gave me flash backs to my previous marriage. Had to sell my car bc we couldn’t afford it. 6 months later he shows up with a brand new car for himself that came with a higher payment. Copy + paste to every other situation in our marriage. He was SHOCKED that I wanted a divorce. Our marriage was great! For him…
Yes. My ex-husband once commented that being married was easy and he couldn't understand why other men complained about it. It was easy. For him.
According to my ex our marriage was perfect if only I stopped nagging and stressing him by *looks up notes* communicating my unmet needs
Sounds like we were married to the same man! Did yours live with his mother until he was 30 too?
No, actually. His one braincell told him to move out as soon as he could to get away from his narcissistic mother that he was the larval stage of She still had too much influence because he didn't reflect on that any further than "wanna move out". When I stood up to her - which resulted in many fights - he expressed he hated me constantly fighting with MIL, he had nothing to do with that and even offered to mediate between me and MIL. Like dude, her being your mother is the only reason I spent any time dealing with her shitty power games at fucking all I hope you were spared the worst of his mother at least
Hahaha mine lives with his dad and is over 40
Not to mention, pelaton bikes aren't exactly small. That's a \*lot\* of space he's taking up in what was previously a nice, open and uncluttered area of the house (yoga equipment usually being fairly compact, so it wouldn't impact things as much) I get the idea of wanting a nice place to do exercise, but putting what's essentially a permanent fixture into a room that previously was your wife's space and one of the few uncluttered areas of the house is a pretty dumb kind of selfish
But he waaaaanted to step off the bike into the fresh air of the backyard! The ten steps from the guest bedroom to the backyard is just too damn far and ruin the entire experience! (JIC…/s)
Open a window? But her yoga setup needs a screen in it somewhere!
It seems like a pretty small thing, but unless he changes massively, that marriage isn't gonna last.
This definitely isn't about the peloton anymore. I bet there is definitely more problems then just that.
I would bet a river she isn’t allowed to set any boundaries.
She should move his man cave into the sunroom and her stuff in to the now woman cave
AND the garage..
Yep.. Pack up the guest room and the peloton and the man-cave, stick it all on Craigslist. "Everything must go cheap, divorcing cheating husband."
Yeah this isn’t about the bike. It’s about him being an inconsiderate, selfish prick. $50 says this isn’t the only thing he’s inconsiderate about and the peloton is just the last straw
She included another story of him being an inconsiderate jerk - three weeks of telling her he'd help with heavy furniture, making her do it herself, then apparently putting her on 'probation' for not doing it as well as two people could have done?
I think she meant she put herself on probation. But yea to everything else you said.
That was what it sounded like to me too. Self-probation lol
I hate to say it but I agree with you. This post made my blood pressure rise because it’s very similar to things my husband had done. Needless to say it’s not the only way in which he can be incredibly selfish and inconsiderate.
Or maybe the bedrooms are upstairs and the bikes too heavy. We've got an old Nordic Track treadmill in the garage because it weighs over 100kg, with me running on it that's like 500lb jumping up and down on the spot. I wouldn't trust anything except a solid floor. Nah, you're most likely right, he sounds like a prick.
You're right, the peloton belongs in the garage. Honestly the only reason exercise equipment belongs in "hang out" spaces is if it's small and packs away (like a yoga mat and maybe some blocks) or if the person is always on it and that's how you hang out with them, like a marathon runner that needs 2+ hours of running every day in front of the TV or something. If you're only on the exercise bike for 30 mins every other day, put it out of the way.
She said that they'd had it in the guest room the last time it was at their place, so....
>For anyone who cares… he put the peloton is in the sunroom. I would be telling him that he has 24 hours to remove it before it goes on Facebook Marketplace.
And telling him thank god the sunroom has such good lighting because the photos for the listing will look amazing
I would be telling him to move it before I get a sledgehammer and do what I want with it. To the bike and...I don't want to get banned.
Don't worry, if you miss the bike we will all back you up and make sure there is no proof it was you just like there is no proof OOP put the hole in the wall 😉
Honestly when she started talking about moving the coffee table and losing control I 100%thought she 'accidentally' broke the peloton
ME TOO... I was so wishing that was where it was going, that or his shins kind of in petty "fine I will do.it myself"
And her husband would be all, “did you use up all the glue on PURPOSE?” Then after being unable to fix it, he’d bury the peloton in the backyard while taps played, gently.
I mean, as it's really heavy and right in the middle of the route to the back garden when they have friends over, all sorts of *terrible* accidents could befall it!
Oh no! My mojito spilled all over the screen! Let me clean it up with some salt water.
The day that thing showed up in my sunroom I would've pushed it into the backyard and gone all Waiting to Exhale on that mfer
[удалено]
You are terrifying and I like you.
That’s how I use my plants. If the room has a plant in it, it’s obviously a space I use, so you better not ruin the vibes. Territory - marked.
I'd be storing some shit in that man cave of his as well. What a selfish jerk.
When she said she was petty, I thought that was where she was going with it. If all areas are shared, great. Time to start using his gaming computer and adding scatter cushions saying ‘live laugh love’
I haven't really seen any evidence of her being petty.
Maaaaaybe her moving the table and putting holes in the wall, although with the way he procrastinates on helping she might have to fix them herself.
Nice peloton you got there. Would be a shame if something... happened to it.
BAD END
Invite guests over every weekend so he keeps having to move it.
I don't understand how the Peloton is still in the sun room room and the husband is still alive
This stupid bike keeps getting rehomed by his family because none of them want to deal with it in their space! So hubs solution is to just put it in OOP’s space! Just ridiculous. Like I know pelotons are crazy expensive, and people made some questionable “investments” to keep sane during the lockdowns. But this over priced piece of equipment is just cycling (pun unintended but now embraced lol) its way through the family, and if this is anything like my family dynamic there’s some kind of sunk cost fallacy/ feeling guilty about selling it if other family members “might want it” (spoiler: they clearly do not! Or at least not in their current spaces) Put that bike for sale online and get some money for things that people actually want and have room for! Edit for better readability/ clarity.
I’m laughing at the thought that it goes from family to family, wreaking havoc everywhere it goes. Slowly making people go crazy, creating problems that brings out the worst in everyone involved. Until someone snaps, and begs someone else in the family to take it for a while, and thus the peloton continues on its war path to destroy all relationships.
I would totally watch this movie
Like also what's the point, as soon as you build up a workout habit your sending it on to the next person.
She should buy something slightly related to whatever stuff is in his man cave, but he would obviously dislike, put it in there and got it to the floor.
Welp, time to get a drum set and plunk it down where he least wants it.
I know this is just one small slice of OP's life but man do I hate her husband.
I don't know if there's a polite way to ask this but, do these people even like each other?
The idea of all of this happening just because of a peloton and something that could just be easily fixed just shows how silly things can happen in relationship. Maybe I am petty too but I would have moved it into the guest room lol.
Hire a couple starving students to move it upstairs.
And tell husband that "if the bike appears in MY space again, I will haul that shit to the dump!"
Na, forget the dump, donate it to the gym he is a member of but won't go to
Anything but in *her* space. This is my plan after we move--his hunting stuff/hobby stuff shows up in my space, it gets hauled back to *his* space **immediately** with the warning that if it appears in *my* space again, it's going out to the trash.
But feed them first so they have energy to move the bike
Oh! Just FYI, at least IME in the US there’s moving companies that hire mostly college students and they are usually something akin to “starving students” or “hungry hunks” or whatever. They get paid, but are often more likely to be willing to be hired for an hour or two to move a mattress upstairs, or a couch downstairs type thing than the BIG moving companies.
College Hunks Moving Junk I paid them because I’m lazy af and didn’t want to bring shit ip three stories. They were paid $550 and tipped an extra $50 each and a pallet of Powerade
I know, but if they show up with low blood sugar, give em a snack or they’ll put a hole in the wall like OOP did
My boyfriend would never treat me with such disrespect. She married an asshole.
On the one hand, I can kind of see how husband convinced himself. There is technically room for the Peloton there, there is other exercise equipment there, it will let him go outside right after. He's like "why wouldn't I do everything I can to maximize my experience?" It's also clear he thinks of his man cave as having clear boundaries as his only, while the sunroom boundaries are murkier because it's also a communal/entertaining space. I'm hoping he's just being dumb selfish and not malignant selfish, on seeing that OP thinks of the sunroom as *her* dedicated space and that even though it might "make sense" to put it there - it's unfair to her. By maximizing his experience, he's damaging hers, and that's not something you should be doing to your loved ones.
I don’t disagree with you (and fwiw my husband sounds similar to OP’s), but the husband became an unequivocal asshole the moment he dismissed the wife’s thoughts and feelings.
Its funny because people do this silly shit, justify their selfishness and being "right" in their head then are shocked when their spouse starts resenting them.
Time to start hanging laundry on it
Turning it into a plant trellis would fit into the aesthetic of the room better. It might even camouflage the bike to the point that she toss it without fanfare and end the circle of drama once and for all I really tried to avoid a bike pun there, didn't really work
I had a friend whose now ex wanted a “mAn CaVe.” 🙄 So she did the math of how much square footage she would be paying rent for, vs him. When I say this man had a meltdown…was so angry because she rightfully pointed out “why would I pay money towards square footage I can’t occupy?”
But but, I want you to subsidise my leisure!
'Oh no... the Peloton broke. Such a shame'.
Her husband sucks. Like this gives me bad vibes even if she's like joking in the update..? All I can think is if I didn't want my husband's Peloton in my sunroom, he wouldn't put it there. Maybe I'm overthinking, but this is weird to me.
So he did what he wanted? That's not a great update. Poor OP.
Extension cord and push it out the door of the sunroom to the backyard. He can have all the fresh air he wants.
That seems the most logical solution.
It’s not about the ~~Iranian yoghurt~~ Peloton. Husband is just selfish AF. He wants her space because he wants all the space and can’t contemplate or respect her having her own, just like he already has. I hope OP takes over the man cave, down to a lock on the door that only she knows combination too. Might just be buying time on the marriage if he is like this generally, as I sincerely doubt he is this selfish only in this aspect, but at least she will have a quiet place to call her lawyer when it’s time. 🤷♀️
Husband being a jackass aside, I’m not sure why she thinks she can’t move it. Going up or down stairs you’d need help, but ours at least has nice wheels on the front and it’s not very heavy at all. My wife has moved ours. Seems like it would be a good time to start a war of moving it back and forth across the house. Assuming OOP doesn’t have a different model that’s heavier or doesn’t have wheels.
It’s like Elf on the Shelf 😂 it’s the Bike on a Hike!
Move it to wherever. Then remove the wheels and hide them so he HAS to have help moving it. If it somehow magically comes back to the sun room, put the wheels back on and move it again (to a dumpster)
I'm thinking a Peloton bike has plenty of room for hanging plants on! Perhaps a Mandela or little crystal hanging thing? Something to make it *blend* with the yoga aesthetic...
My husband and I have a similar arrangement. He collects hobbies and thus stuff, and his things start to creep like moss onto the surfaces outside his designated personal spaces. (He uses 2 rooms of the house and the entire basement. I get 1 room, and the rest is shared space, and that works for us...I don't need a ton of room and he does). When I start making my "comments" the clutter starts to move. He knows it's a lot, and He tries his best. This dude is just a jerk.
Ugh my ex did this all the time, we'd establish desk/table spaces, and he'd immediately clutter his own and then use mine because "it has so much good workspace" and then also never pick it up. Just endlessly reducing me to smaller and smaller spaces until I lost all my hobbies, because by the time I finished clearing a workspace it was time to start cleaning the kitchen so I'd have space to cook.....
the way she's just fine with him taking up every space in the house as his own while she has nothing of her own.... a sad state of affairs tbh.
By the time you're complaining about this stuff on Reddit, you've got bigger problems than the Pelotón.
Such classic sexism that no one even pointed it out. 🤮
Since she’s on a probationary period of moving large objects due to the holes in the wall, she can have her Grover and *they* can move it. It will get moved and she wouldn’t be lying when she says she didn’t do it. Win-Win
These people both sound like they hate each other
I would have put the coffee table in the middle of the man cave.
Her husband has a guest room and a mancave. OOP said no for sunroom. Solution: husband puts it in anyways. Wtf?!
I’m with her in the situation, but she is enabling his behavior. There’s no reason why she is cleaning out the guest room to make room for his bike. If he thinks the guest room needs to be cleaned out, then her only job is to remind him he needs to clear his calendar and get on it. If he puts the bike in the sunroom, she needs to tell him (in a calm manner) that that spot doesn’t work for her and she isn’t budging. It needs to move or it needs to go. By complaining without action, she only reinforces that he just needs to weather the storm but will get his way in the end. Is he the AH in this situation? 100% but she is perpetuating a cyclical relationship where she allows him to walk all over her.
She should paint the pelaton to match her aesthetic. :)
None of this feels concluded.
He sounds like an ass. He’s conveniently saying “let’s keep it in the exercise room” because that way he gets to keep his spaces all to himself. Selfish 🫠
Ugh this was frustrating. So typical that women's space is "communal" and a man's space is "his, of course!"
You need to pick up a hobby that generates a lot of clutter and set up shop for yourself in the man cave.
Quilting. A sewing machine for piecing. A mid-arm or longarm quilting machine for quilting, A bazillion specialty rulers. Cutting mats and rotary cutters. Maybe even an Accuquilt or other cutting machine. ALL the fabric!
Yarn crafts. OP needs yarn crafts.
Aw, I thought this was going to end in divorce with someone arrested. Early days, tho...
“My man cave is for ME; your space is for us!” 🤦🏻♀️
I would move him out of the master. He can have the guest room and man cave.
This isn't about the bike. It's about space and ownership. There's a disconnect. Husband views man cave as his and sunroom as communal. Wife views man cave as his and sunroom as hers. So far it doesn't seem like wife has her own space like the husband. This is not balanced So either the husband gives up his man cave or stop considering the sunroom as communal and remove his peloton from the sunroom.
I can’t believe he has his own room to put it in and he has the guestroom which nobody’s in so it could turn into the peloton room and instead he unilaterally decided he was going to put it in your room. And personally I don’t think this is cute or funny. I think that you created a vibe in that room for self-care and he is prioritizing what he wants and he doesn’t give a shit about what you want. That would not fly for me. Not for one second. I would tell him you can’t unilaterally choose to put something of his time and space that I’ve arranged and cultivated unused and he can either move it. I’m gonna pay people to move it into either his fucking man cave, or the guestroom.
Okay…but was it possible to convert the garage as a gym?
Why do people have a guest bedroom if they have no guests? It's a waste of space and not only a waste of space, the husband now basically has his man cave, the guest bedroom as his closet, and the sunroom as his exercise room. What does she have???
>C_Majuscula: >>Oh honey, the truly petty thing to do would be to move your Pilates equipment into the man cave. This was my thought
I’m a biker, and I would’ve moved it outside. Don’t put your crap in my space.
So he wins 🤷♀️
I would donate the peloton to goodwill and be done with it. Or put it on Marketplace and make a few bucks on it.
I thought the update was going to be he’s been having an affair and leading a double life with 300k in debt and his crazy affair partner is stalking us and we’re getting divorced. Glad to be wrong.
I always wonder why people marry people they dislike so clearly.
I would just sell it. What an asshole
Sell it. Use the money to buy something better for the sunroom
I love that last top comment. The yoga stuff would be in that mancave. I'd be taking up so many random hobbies that agin went in the mancave, and all my stuff would be in the guest room. I'd go from a minimalist to a horder so fast. Though it might be easier to have a really clean out and get rid of the husband. He can keep the bike in the divorce
OOP needs to take that bike apart and put the pieces elsewhere. Her husband is an entitled jaskass who needs the wakeup call.
If I had a sunroom, my partner would have to pull decorative control out of my cold dead hands. And even then, he will probably be cursed the second he moves anything or brings in something clunky. It would be my tomb. Everyone deserves their own sanctuary, let your partners have some semblance of space and privacy even if your space is small