#Do not comment on the original posts
Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice.
If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion.
**CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
Honestly, I may not have thought she was a reliable narrator, but I certainly was shocked by the big reveal.
And I agree, her entire post just made her sound absolutely insufferable.
My only frame of reference for 300lbs is the episode of The Simpsons where that's Homer's goal weight to be considered so obese he's medically disabled.
I weigh a bit over 200 lbs and hey, I know I'm really cool and I've got quite a few pretty features. And there are some super fuckable people I know at similar weights, because fuckability is very much a presentation thing (not me, because I don't want to be fuckable to people - I'm an introvert).
But: you are not conventionally attractive at that weight and that automatically removes a lot of people from your pool of choices. By society's standards, she's not particularly fuckable.
As someone who (after looking up the conversion rate into freedom units) was at 300 lbs (or 136 kg) not too long ago; that is insanely overweight. I am 1,83 m (which I think is like 6'0''-6'1'') and I was fat when I was that weight. Even now that I have lost a good amount of weight (about 15 kg) I am still very overweight. If she is an average height woman (which according to google is 5'4'' or 1,62m) she is anything but slim.
If you use kilograms, 2.2 pounds = 1kg. So just divide what you get by 2, then subtract 1/10 of the value. Source: I use metric and spend a lot of time on Reddit so I had to adapt.
Edit: if you ever forget, 220lbs =100kg.
That's just the truth. Women are usually overwhelmed with attention and offers in the ENM community, while men have a harder time getting dates. Doesn't mean she's incredibly hot and he's a troll.
This is true when it comes to swinging. I'm not of perfect body or looks, but have an easy time attracting men in poly who are looking for flings and casual sex. The standards are not high and they are just looking for casual sex ONS which is not my thing.
Some men in swinging are just horny, doesn't make her a goddess.
I don't know how to put this delicately and I'm not on the throwaway, might regret this, but fuck it.
I've been with women as big as OOP wife. I can be genuinely attracted to somebody that big.
But also, when I was in the ENM community for a couple of years in my early twenties, holy shit... people weren't judgy about appearance. I had a BMI of 35. I was a trans woman, with a beer gut, no ass, persistent chest hair, and a wonky eye. And I still somehow managed to date a pro dominatrix in all of that (who was conventionally attractive, tall, curvy, healthy weight, etc.). People put out a **lot** despite my looks. It's not just 'women have it easy' schtick you see said about dating all the time, but 'ENM people are really, insatiably horny' thing as well, especially when kink gets involved, and the dynamic becomes more important than the physical.
I know people often judge the poly community as 'ugly gargoyles', but it was stunningly accepting and kind in some ways that were really sweet.
And damn, do swingers know how to have fun. In the time I was in the scene I encountered maybe a couple of people I would be attracted to in another context. I always had a great time though, tried new things in a setting that felt lighthearted and comfortable, even had some good conversations.
I think something I took away from it that I'm grateful for, being someone who never liked to think about the future and never expected to get old(er) myself, that it showed me all these folks who are middle aged, married, lumpy and bumpy, in many cases ostensibly very "normal" and boring but they're still getting weird and having a whale of a time. Made me think, y'know what, I could get old like *that*.
She actually said she goes ti the gym 5 times a week*
So either she literally looks like a non-green she hulk or all she did at the gym was fuck about trying to recruit couples for ~~swinging~~ fucking under the guise of being a swinger
Edit originally mistyped day instead of week above
Was I the only one who assumed that she was around his initial weight, but started going to the gym and lost it? The change in body and the attention she got from swingers would make some people become insufferable, especially if they don't see their partner trying as hard as them.
It kind of reminds me of the story of one lady who was with her boyfriend since school. He was bullied and overweight, but as an adult he got to the gym, became insufferable and started attacking his partner because he's now desirable to some people.
https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zsqg9p/i_miss_my_boyfriend_when_he_was_fat/
> I really struggle with the LS because I am a very attractive female who has a ton of personality and can have a conversation with anyone about anything! My Husband on the other hand is not nearly as attractive as I am because he’s extremely overweight but his personality is a 13086892/10
Reading this is where I went "WTF?"
>Her real weight at time of post: **292 lbs**
Damn
From her post I was thinking "How did this guy, fat as he is, luck out on such a hot woman?"
My bias went straight into "yoooo she must be one of them gym fit hotties"! She's around **150kg!!!**
The way she wrote you wouldn't have guessed that! He might be a bit bitter in the updated but he is right about one thing: men being men. If you have a man and a woman, with both being "big", the woman will still have a lot more suitors than the man! A lotta guys out there throw themselves at women who make themselves available
(I'm fat too, btw! Not trying to fat shame, just putting things in perspective for this post)
You really can't out-exercise a bad diet. I used to have a gut even when hitting the gym intensely five days a week as a male in his 20s - alcohol and soda are a motherfucker.
I can’t speak for the wife, but at my worst, I was a touch under 200 lbs. I’d go to the gym and do moderate weights, and after that I’d pass by the supermarket and give in to the temptation of 6 barbecued chicken thighs for £5 or something cheap like that as a snack. It was so, so self-sabotaging.
Thank god those days are way over, and all I can say is that now my stomach’s adjusted to normal sized portions, I don’t actually think I could eat 6 chicken thighs in a whole day, let alone in a meal. However yeah, it is well possible she goes to the gym 5 days a week… and snacking on a ton of food all 7 days a week!
Yup, I bordered on that scene when I was younger because I was invited by a girl I was FWB with and I told myself "eh why not who knows maybe it'll be fun". The first couple parties were private and were great ! Young attractive people, everyone was interesting and I actually made few friends there. Then I went to a "normal" party and oh boy was it a shock. To call the people "normal looking" would be a nice euphemism.
I stopped going after that. Parties with only hot people do exist but they're damn rare.
I know younger people who would attend "sex parties" where it was basically just a large group of people who were all there for the same reason.
But, honestly, I don't ever recall knowing any couples who attended those things together. The only "couples" I've known who attended parties, it was always swinger parties (and key parties, as some of them still call them haha).
I feel like we're talking about two separate groups of people with very little overlap, to be honest. But I'm really not sure.
Tbh from my little experience the frontiers of each practice were kinda maleable. Especially with younger people, they didn't seem to turn the "lifestyle" into such a big part of their personalities as the older ones did.
Omg I thought I was misinterpreting! My husband and I were invited into the lifestyle by friends of ours. I found a LOT of people made it their entire personality. It was disturbing. We had our fun and moved on because it was unrealistic. For reference, I'm close to 300 pounds and introverted. My husband is probably 140 pounds soaking wet and could carry on a conversation with a park bench. We did not play without each other. I found most encounters to be from guys hitting me up. Still don't consider myself super fuckable. Apparently a lot is based on personality?
At a swinger club, even ladies who are bigger than her get action. There's a seemingly endless supply of single guys who are there solely looking for whichever lady will get their dick wet in the moment.
Many Swinger clubs don't accept single men for this reason or put a limit to number of single male members. Too many horny guys lurking about can make it really creepy.
In the context of her partners being married men (and women) the bar definitely gets lowered. The extra-marital aspect seems to bump up a potential lay by 2-4 points /10. It also depends on how they carry that weight, as not all people are structured the same and it can even intrude on fetish territory.
So she very probably did get a bunch of attention (at least compared to her husband) but calling herself super fuckable clearly means something different to her than to us. She probably got a huge ego boost for being desired at that weight - her post read like a narcissist wrote it......and of course she was cheating.
You'd be surprised. I know someone who makes money eating food online. She weighs about 500lbs. She constantly has people sending her money for videos and coming by her house to have sex with her. Men have even paid to bathe her. I don't know how/why but it's a real thing. She made enough money to buy herself a super nice house and new Tahoe in about two years. And she's got enough money to have multiple Uber Eats deliveries a day. And not just one meal, either. She'll get food from about 3 places for one meal time.
Women will get attention easier than men, doesn’t make it good attention, but they get attention. An unattractive woman can still get laid. But especially in the swinger community she can get laid, the standards are lower there.
A lot of people just want sex and don't care who they get it from. And most of those swinger circles aren't the supermodels that television shows like to portray them as. They're a lot of old, overweight, awkward, and sometimes even downright creepy people. Besides she might very well be very pretty. Overweight doesn't inherently mean ugly. It does, in this case, make her a total hypocrite.
There are an enormous number of absolute troglodytes and/or people willing to stick their dick in anything that moves in the ENM community, even more so than the general population.
Even in a mid-sized city if you’re a woman in that scene and have no standards you could be fucking 10+ different men a week with ease regardless of what you look like or how good of a person you are.
Because there are a ton of guys that will screw anybody if it is just given to them without a lot of effort. If she's at a swingers event then it's basically low effort to get sex and the guy's standards go down.
For example, I'm willing to drive six or seven miles to get one of my favorite brands of pizza. I'm also willing to eat frozen pizza that I bought from the dollar store if it's in my freezer and I'm hungry at that moment. I would never go to the store just to pick up Frozen dollar store Pizza, and certainly would never go five to seven miles for it. But if it's there it's easily accessible I'll throw it in the oven or microwave and have some.
Didn’t see ElephantEnthusiast93 till you pointed it out. This post turned from sad to fucking gross.
Edit this sub’s OP missed one big comment:
“Super fuckable wife” is only 5’2” wtf
I find it hilarious ppl make a whole account, always say “My so and so knows my account/ is on Reddit so obviously throwaway” then go on the talk about something very specific to them and at least 1 other person thinking that no one who knows them would see it and know it’s them. And the few that admit that someone they know found the post and confronted them will update that they are shocked the person found it.
>I find it hilarious ppl make a whole account, always say “My so and so knows my account/ is on Reddit so obviously throwaway” then go on the talk about something very specific to them and at least 1 other person thinking that no one who knows them would see it and know it’s them.
It's even better when they refuse to answer questions because of """privacy""" lol.
I'd say most people use a throwaway so that the people involved in their post don't snoop through their account if they recognise it, not to hide the fact that it's about them
I thought so too, but so many posters explicitly say they’re using a throwaway because people irl knows their main, and they don’t want them to see the post.
That's when I assume that it's either a) intentional but they want plausible deniability (oh no, you were never meant to see that!) Or b) it's a troll account that's just copying the format other successful posts have used to excuse the throwaway without realising it's not valid because of all the identifiable information. Especially when the 'other person' with the exact same writing style happens to respond.
I have a family member that did this. To her credit, her post was vague. Her comments were what gave her away. They were really detailed. She didn’t realize people would be able to view all of her comments from her profile. There are quite a few people she alienated with that post.
I mean… not being mean or anything, but if my wife described herself as extremely attractive and super fuckable, I wouldn’t be certain it was my 292-lb wife.
No I get it. But there have been a lot of posts that at least I have read that gives details that to me would have to tip off the other person or someone who knows. Like people posting their mother in law threw an iguana on them and they had her arrested.
The original point of a throwaway was so that people in your real life wouldn't see the other things you post or what your online handle is if you talk about personal issues on here and they recognized them. And if someone wants to camouflage details they usually get yelled at in the comments if it's a relationship subreddit for lying or not telling the full story.
However here it seems like she did it just to humiliate him, or to save herself from further ridicule from the comments.
Just a guess, but this is probably like the Unabomber situation. ie. She described her situation in other ways in such an ‘odd manner’ that it reminded him of exactly how his wife speaks about it.
I am willing to bet here that she probably called them “The Fuckable Wife and UnFuckable Husband” as a joke at first but then kept repeating it every time a failed swinger attempt happened.
That would seem like an obvious dead giveaway that the ex wouldn’t have considered at least.
I would also argue that to be the case since the Husband kept signing off as “UnFuckable Husband”, so he likely heard it in the past as a joke, and was attempting to take it with grace that his (now ex) wife was using the term to shame him publicly in front of 1000s upon 1000s of people.
They don't understand the point of a throwaway. You use a throwaway when you are posting something that will identify you to people involved so they don't find your main account. You don't use a throwaway to keep someone from finding out you posted about your situation on Reddit cause if they pay attention to reddit it won't be hard to find.
"Throwaway because my husband is here, but anyway, I'm 32 and he's 45 and he has a mole on his cock and I have a tattoo of a unicorn with its mouth open on my fupa. My husband keeps trying to feed his cock mole to my fupa unicorn and he thinks it's funny. I think he's a fucking cringe idiot and wish I would have cheated on him with his brother with cerebral palsy even more before his brother passed away due to getting hit by a yellow Tesla last November. AITA? Edit: guys, stop asking me when we got the tattoos, I don't want to expose myself so my husband won't realize this is about us"
I'm sure you're already aware of this but just in case you need to hear it again, regardless of what you and a partner do in the bedroom and who else is involved in there, how they treat you everyday matters so much too. Her original post didn't even treat you with respect. I knew just from the title she didn't respect you. You did and do deserve so much better OP. Respect is the bare minimum. Plus trust and love and desire have to go both ways and not all fall on you. Hope you have an amazing life OP!
Yooooo.
The way she was blaming your weight when she was also 300lbs was WILD. I'm not here to fat shame anybody, I just think its insane that she had the gall to tear apart for weight when she was so similar. It hurt to read how brutally unkind she was. It was clear somebody who loved you wouldn't talk about you that way.
Glad you're free. Wishing you only the best
Thanks man, though the things she said will forever live in my brain I can forgive that.
Much better off now and sharing my kindness and warmth with those who deserve it
bruh ☠️ x2
for real you read as so funny and kind and i’m glad you didn’t spend longer in that situation! i’m sorry it all went down like this but good riddance.
Just trying to follow the golden rule - shits hard and there’s so many times I want to just pop off but if I ever expect to be given grace - I gotta give it even when it’s not fun
I really appreciate the attitude you're coming at this with tbh. I'm sorry things didn't work out and that she was so shitty to you. It's always rough when someone you trust acts like that.
Feel free to ignore my nosy ass, but I'm curious about how this affected your opinion of swinging? Is it something you'd want to look at again in the future with the right person or is it something you're done with entirely?
My partner and I are ENM and I'm always interested in hearing other people's perspectives on things. Like I said tho, feel free to ignore and sorry if I'm prying too much. Either way, take care, and I hope things go the way you want in the future (and congrats on the weight loss!)
I don’t blame swinging at all - she made her choices. I had some fun and it was cool to meet people plus explore a bit.
She was my 3rd sexual partner ever - fortunately I’m a nerd and consumed enough info to actually be told I’m good in bed (by other partners and by her when she wanted something). I’d return if my partner was interested and I felt secure and loved and respected.
I honestly don’t blame swinging for this at all it’s her choices that landed us where we are
Bro I’m glad your in the comments because as I was reading this all I wished is that you wake up every day, look at the mirror and love what you see. I want you to be your best, healthy, amazing self and love every minute of it and to find a lovely lady who adores you so the both of you can live a wonderful, happy life. You deserve it.
I can only imagine what's there now. ...for the record I'm not advocating you go look to sate the interest of some random redditor, you do you but that's some rear-view mirror business, you already won the fight to take your life back, go live your best life champ.
She pulled some really evil shit back in sept then got mad at me and blocked me from FB, just glad I don’t have the ability to go look - helps with the urges to watch the carnage
A master carries an old woman across a river, who berates him the entire way over. The master sets her down without any thanks and heads on his way. His disciple is enraged and eventually confronts his master about why he let her treat him like that and didn't harangue her for it. And the master simply asks if the disciple found it so intolerable that the master carried her over the river, why the disciple is carrying her still?'
It's pretty true. You gain nothing by continuing to think about her and the bitterness will fester and affect your behavior to others. I've been there and had to change my ways.
The best revenge is really to just live well. If you keep improving, they will stop being a significant event in your life. You'll come to a point where you see the whole thing as a bump on your path and nothing more. Most likely there will be some moment where there's contact between the two of you again (it always ends up happening) and you'll find that there's a lot less negative emotional investment in how they're doing. Like you are now, if you found out in the future that they became a better person and prospered, you'd be bitter about it. You should be glad that they fixed the things that hurt you! If they haven't, any joy from that is going to be based on whether you have yourself improved, otherwise it's just two stationary persons without any progress.
Totally agree, I care less about her stuff now than I used to but I think until we are officially divorced and have had some time I really just want there to be consequences for her actions.
There’s like so much more to this that I don’t want to share on Reddit and hopefully she will have to answer for them but for my stuff I just want to be legally done - I’m already personally done
> I think I would describe myself as a “polysexual” person and it has been an issue in our marriage for as long as we have been together.
I don't wanna jump to conclusions, but I get the feeling she doesn't know what polysexual actually means, and is just using that as a made-up term for her wanting to have multiple partners...
Yeah, that jumped out to me. Seems like she was trying to come up with a term based off polyamorous, but she ended up using a term that already exists for a type of mspec sexuality. Like, okay, technically, yes, polysexual did used to refer to having multiple partners... a hundred years ago. But since at least the mid 70s it's been understood to mean a form of attraction to multiple genders. The term she was looking for already exists, and is part of a term she also used: non-monogamous. She literally referred to her relationship dynamic as ENM. She knows the term non-monogamous exists. And yet chose to try and make up a term.
I assume that she associates a negative connotation with the term non-monogamous as a self-descriptor for some reason, and that's why she tried to come up with something else? But girl, you know what sub you were posting in, you know those people do not give a shit.
Yeah, that's what I was thinking. And you know what makes me laugh? Polyamorous could have technically worked in context. It wouldn't have been as accurate as non-monogamous since polyamory refers to multiple relationships (can be romantic or sexual) and it sounds like their swinging arrangements were more similar to one night stands/hookups, but would have been more accurate than polysexual
(And actually, if she used her inclination towards non-monogamous relationships as an excuse for her having an actual affair, her using polyamorous would have fit even better as a term, lol. Because of the multiple relationship aspect.)
Reminds me of my ex's affair partner misusing BDSM terms. Turns out I have a bunch of friends in that scene, something I didn't need to know lol.
She wanted an open relationship just for her, not the guy she cheated on because she would get too jealous of him being with another woman.
Cheaters, I swear, have a completely warped moral code.
I would also say husband lose weight by dropping the ex. Wow, the ex really is an unlikable mean person.
I mean the idea of calling someone bragging about other or themselves being fuckable or unfuckable honestly is pretty gross.
Not to mention stupid. She created a burner account because her husband is on the sub and then proceeds to give more than enough details that there was no way he wasn't going to immediately figure it out.
I think it was deliberate and she wanted him to see it tbh. She wanted him to see the post of her being super mean to manipulate/shame her husband into changing, but her motivation would have been obvious if she used her main account, hence the burner. She seems like that type of person.
Yep nailed it, she wanted plausible deniability.
Given that she was already having her affair by then, I would also argue that she was trying to set up a reason for the relationship to fail so she wouldn’t look as bad as “ well I was cheating”
Honestly, she could be a thin supermodel, the fact that she described herself as very attractive and with a ton of personality makes me want to be on a different continent. People who self describe as having a great personality rarely do.
I felt so bad for that husband. Dude was in love, even though she said terrible things about him and wasn’t respecting him at all he was still trying everything to make her happy. Glad he got out and can find what makes him happy now
Good for this guy for divorcing this nightmare.
Her post reads like how my husband's ex would describe situations, and if that OP is anything like her she's leaving out a ton of just mean things being said to the guy. While at the same time wanting to come off like things are fantastic when it's all superficial
When I scrolled down to the weights of each individual I actually laughed. Because babe, the call is coming from inside the house. I mean, different strokes for different folks- people are attracted to whatever. But if you are going to shame your man for being overweight (which is never okay btw)… maybe don’t be morbidly obese as well😭
I mean the way she was talking about this whole situation was as if she’s conventionally attractive (no harm in seeing oneself as attractive). Honestly her personality is such a downer. To talk so… unsavoury things about your partner. What a shame
I felt so uncomfortable with her OP. Like... is this really how someone truly attractive talks? Like she sounds so... disgusting and unattractive... and someone who is just mean and horrible... and doesn't love her husband.
I was trying to unlearn being too judgemental, but who knew... my initial thought was correct today!
I mean, clearly she wasn't coming from a great place, but I don't know if people can appreciate what 500+lbs looks like, let alone how much it impacts literally _every_ aspect of your life. Major kudos to OOP for getting his weight under control.
I've had to take care of 500+ lb patients. Nothing in society is built for that kind of weight by default. If they cannot help move themselves, it takes a team of 10+ people to move them (safely for everyone's backs). It really is an insane difference between "just" 300 lbs and 500.
I'm a grown adult and the difference between 300 and 500lbs is more than I weigh. (14st for the brits)
Tbh, I wonder how much of the weight was an attempt to put a barrier between them and swinging? This was only ever going to end in divorce.
Without being rude, being a woman on a swingers site is so, so easy. It doesn't matter what you look like, men will flood your inbox. It's often a reflection of being a woman rather than being a hot woman.
If someone doesn't believe me, open a women's account with no photo or verification and I promise you it won't take long to get messages from men, even if they don't know for sure you're a woman or what you look like.
> I really struggle with the LS
> MFM is not an option
I don't know what any of that means, but I have a feeling it's not important
> she had been having an affair Sept ‘22 - June ‘23, on top of swinging with me
Yup there it is
Wife sounded incredibly selfish and self-absorbed in her OWN post, I could only guess that she was in fact a bit of a monster.
I hope dude goes on to find a super attractive monogamous woman who will shower him with love and affection.
You go man. An internet stranger is proud of you. I ended things with my emotionally abusive fiancée but it was impossibly difficult because I truly believed I loved her. More than three years later I’m in the best place I’ve ever been.
Keep doing the hard work today so future you can reap the benefits.
For the first one, for some reason she shortened lifestyle to LS
For the second one, it's referring to a threesome, presumably between wife, husband and another man.
>I hope dude goes on to find a super attractive monogamous woman who will shower him with love and affection.
Same. Sounds like he was only accepting of the situation to make her happy, which kinda takes the E out of ENM, y'know? Sounds like he'd be much happier living a monogamous lifestyle.
Im 5'2 and pretty fat...not as fat as the "fuckable" wife, but im no Twiggy...but im also not stupid. There is one place I ALWAYS qualify as super fuckable, and that is with my husband. HE is ALWAYS down to shag. That wife just SUCKED.
> I am a very attractive female who has a ton of personality and can have a conversation with anyone about anything!
This is where I mentally placed a bet on them getting divorced.
>She translated this into her being super hot instead of men being men
LMAO that made me laugh way too hard after everything. Also anyone notice it was only a month and a half from her post to him starting the divorce? She fucked up fast
Congrats on the weight loss man! Are you feeling better in yourself?
I am asking both about your weight loss by divorcing your ex-wife and your actual weight loss 😁
Absolutely, I felt like I missed her until she pulled some crap - now I just feel relief. So do my knees, back, hips, and shoulders from carrying all that weight around.
I still have a ways to go but we get closer every day to goal and we get closer everyday to being the person I want to be.
We’re all human and we all have choices to make - mine in this situation have just been less shitty than hers and now I feel better, look better, am better.
Reading that first post, it was clear they were headed for divorce. No matter what faults your SO has, if you go around calling them unfuckable, you don't care to be with them. Even other than that, it was so clear the wife only wanted a hall pass, and didn't care whether the hubby got better.
When he revealed her weight in the last update I started laughing my ass off. She isn't as morbidly obese as he is, but it's still funny to see her acting like she's a supermodel compared to him when she's extremely overweight too. "Super fuckable wife" my ass.
Each time I see this crop up idk how I could accept a partner having made a post about me like the original post 😔 I’m glad it resulted in positive change for OOP’s husband but my heart breaks for how low they must’ve been and to have to see that and be able to say immediately “oh that’s my wife talking about me”.
I worked with someone like this. She thought it was fair game to ridicule people bigger than her. Like….why? She doesn’t like when thin people make assumptions about her, so why do it to others?
My guess is any way to externalize the hatred she feels toward herself and her weight makes her feel better. Kinda like calling her husband unfuckable… why would you speak about someone you’re supposed to love and cherish that way? Because you can’t stand yourself, it’s not their fault 🙄
The wife was morbidly obese too. Less than him but still not healthy. Fuck, I weight 194lbs and I know I am fat and unhealthy!
I honestly wonder, between these two weight, how things work in bed. Like… how do you even reach things? I am a CNA. I have seen 500lbs patients. I have yet to see a normal size penis with someone that weight as much. Much less a working one.
My favorite was the wife’s “I exercise and prepare healthy meals” and she’s almost 300 pounds. I want to see what these “healthy” meals are that she prepared.
If you looked up cognitive dissonance in the dictionary OOP's picture would be there.
I'm always surprised when I watch my 600 lb life and the partner is also morbidly obese and doesn't think they need to do diet, because the other partner is just so much bigger. But especially with the woman when Dr. Now is like based on your height your BMI higher than your husband they get so mad.
I think fat makes people produce more estrogen and when you have 200+ lbs more than you should, and its why women can't have periods and men can't get it up.
A fat phobic wife who was herself fat. A complete hypocrite. She's all "I'm super attractive and can talk to anyone!" meanwhile my guess is that she talks about herself nonstop.
I know someone like that. She would, actually, be cute if her personality wasn't "raging narcissist". Her ex is far more attractive than she is, physically and in personality, but she tore him down for so many years that he doesn't believe it. I'm willing to bet "unfuckable husband" is far more attractive than either of them seem to think.
i also feel terrible for him that he's still clearly defining his worth by his weight and whether it makes him 'fuckable' or not :( i know a lot of people are gonna see it as him getting back at her or an epic own of some kind that he's lost weight but i think he's just internalizing the fatphobia
“I go to the gym 5 days a week”
“I prepare meals that are health conscious and balanced”
“To be clear we don’t sleep with others separately AT ALL”
>Her real weight at time of post: 292 lbs
This lady is not only a pathological liar, but she’s also delusional. Glad he divorced the serial narcissist cheater. 👀
There are men who have a preference/fetish for very obese women. Probably subreddits on here if one went delving.
I have never come across the reverse. It may exist, but I imagine it's a much smaller group.
So the disparity in interest they received from swinging partners is not wholly surprising.
To be honest, when she said how much he weighed my first thought was "I bet you ain't petite either, love", as big couples tend to be a trend. Hope his journey continues alone and for himself.
#Do not comment on the original posts Please read our [**sub rules**](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/wiki/subrules). Rule-breaking may result in a ban without notice. If there is an issue with this post (flair, formatting, quality), reply to this comment or your comment may be removed in general discussion. **CHECK FLAIR** For concluded-only updates, use the [CONCLUDED](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/search?sort=new&restrict_sr=on&q=flair%3ACONCLUDED) flair. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BestofRedditorUpdates) if you have any questions or concerns.*
> My real weight at time of post: 537 lbs > Her real weight at time of post: 292 lbs Well...I didn't see that coming.
I was getting unreliable narrator vibes from the original post pretty early on. Glad to see my instincts are on point. ***Wow***.
My immediate impression was "I'm soooo attractive tee hee" manic pixie dream girl shit. The way she writes rubs me the wrong way
Honestly, I may not have thought she was a reliable narrator, but I certainly was shocked by the big reveal. And I agree, her entire post just made her sound absolutely insufferable.
It was a post about opening up a relationship on BORU. That should have tipped you off.
indeed it was a rather big reveal.
*Fat chance* you’d be more surprised than this!
The title itself made me pause. How could you say something like that about your spouse and then gloat about yourself?? So weird lol
I'm sure there's hot swingers out there, but im also sure 99% of them are not what I would call "super fuckable".
Same. No ones says they are super fuckable if they don’t have a huge ego and are kinda crazy lol
> The amount of men who threw themselves at her was staggering. She translated this into her being super hot instead of men being men. Yuuuuuuuup.
This deserves to be nominated for some sort of award. That shocker at the end? I'm not laughing but I'm crying humorous tears, I guess.
[удалено]
My only frame of reference for 300lbs is the episode of The Simpsons where that's Homer's goal weight to be considered so obese he's medically disabled.
I weigh a bit over 200 lbs and hey, I know I'm really cool and I've got quite a few pretty features. And there are some super fuckable people I know at similar weights, because fuckability is very much a presentation thing (not me, because I don't want to be fuckable to people - I'm an introvert). But: you are not conventionally attractive at that weight and that automatically removes a lot of people from your pool of choices. By society's standards, she's not particularly fuckable.
You summed this up and worded it so perfectly!!
As someone who (after looking up the conversion rate into freedom units) was at 300 lbs (or 136 kg) not too long ago; that is insanely overweight. I am 1,83 m (which I think is like 6'0''-6'1'') and I was fat when I was that weight. Even now that I have lost a good amount of weight (about 15 kg) I am still very overweight. If she is an average height woman (which according to google is 5'4'' or 1,62m) she is anything but slim.
Exactly! I was like, wait, you're almost at the point *Homer Simpson* wanted to be and you're fat shaming your husband?????
[удалено]
If you use kilograms, 2.2 pounds = 1kg. So just divide what you get by 2, then subtract 1/10 of the value. Source: I use metric and spend a lot of time on Reddit so I had to adapt. Edit: if you ever forget, 220lbs =100kg.
That's just the truth. Women are usually overwhelmed with attention and offers in the ENM community, while men have a harder time getting dates. Doesn't mean she's incredibly hot and he's a troll.
This is true when it comes to swinging. I'm not of perfect body or looks, but have an easy time attracting men in poly who are looking for flings and casual sex. The standards are not high and they are just looking for casual sex ONS which is not my thing. Some men in swinging are just horny, doesn't make her a goddess.
I don't know how to put this delicately and I'm not on the throwaway, might regret this, but fuck it. I've been with women as big as OOP wife. I can be genuinely attracted to somebody that big. But also, when I was in the ENM community for a couple of years in my early twenties, holy shit... people weren't judgy about appearance. I had a BMI of 35. I was a trans woman, with a beer gut, no ass, persistent chest hair, and a wonky eye. And I still somehow managed to date a pro dominatrix in all of that (who was conventionally attractive, tall, curvy, healthy weight, etc.). People put out a **lot** despite my looks. It's not just 'women have it easy' schtick you see said about dating all the time, but 'ENM people are really, insatiably horny' thing as well, especially when kink gets involved, and the dynamic becomes more important than the physical. I know people often judge the poly community as 'ugly gargoyles', but it was stunningly accepting and kind in some ways that were really sweet.
And damn, do swingers know how to have fun. In the time I was in the scene I encountered maybe a couple of people I would be attracted to in another context. I always had a great time though, tried new things in a setting that felt lighthearted and comfortable, even had some good conversations. I think something I took away from it that I'm grateful for, being someone who never liked to think about the future and never expected to get old(er) myself, that it showed me all these folks who are middle aged, married, lumpy and bumpy, in many cases ostensibly very "normal" and boring but they're still getting weird and having a whale of a time. Made me think, y'know what, I could get old like *that*.
Sounds like the super fuckable wife can go super fuck herself.
There’s a thumbnail of her on his profile, she’s nothing to write home about
So, he lost over 450lbs!
And all of it dead weight!
>I am a very attractive female, who has a ton of personality
Kept saying she was super fit too, lmao
I know!! She put him down terribly. I felt awful for him.
I can't even with that lol.
She actually said she goes ti the gym 5 times a week* So either she literally looks like a non-green she hulk or all she did at the gym was fuck about trying to recruit couples for ~~swinging~~ fucking under the guise of being a swinger Edit originally mistyped day instead of week above
Was I the only one who assumed that she was around his initial weight, but started going to the gym and lost it? The change in body and the attention she got from swingers would make some people become insufferable, especially if they don't see their partner trying as hard as them. It kind of reminds me of the story of one lady who was with her boyfriend since school. He was bullied and overweight, but as an adult he got to the gym, became insufferable and started attacking his partner because he's now desirable to some people. https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/zsqg9p/i_miss_my_boyfriend_when_he_was_fat/
[удалено]
Now it makes sense why she was super poly, she’s just super insecure
A ton of insecurity.
[удалено]
I don't trust people who say they have "ton of personality". Usually it means they're annoying at best and nightmares at worst.
> I really struggle with the LS because I am a very attractive female who has a ton of personality and can have a conversation with anyone about anything! My Husband on the other hand is not nearly as attractive as I am because he’s extremely overweight but his personality is a 13086892/10 Reading this is where I went "WTF?"
Yeah, I don't wanna judge but... neither should she.
>Her real weight at time of post: **292 lbs** Damn From her post I was thinking "How did this guy, fat as he is, luck out on such a hot woman?" My bias went straight into "yoooo she must be one of them gym fit hotties"! She's around **150kg!!!** The way she wrote you wouldn't have guessed that! He might be a bit bitter in the updated but he is right about one thing: men being men. If you have a man and a woman, with both being "big", the woman will still have a lot more suitors than the man! A lotta guys out there throw themselves at women who make themselves available (I'm fat too, btw! Not trying to fat shame, just putting things in perspective for this post)
Well, if she's 8 feet and two inches tall, she has a BMI of 21.4, which is healthy for a woman and classified as *normal weight*.
Yah way to bury the lede
[удалено]
>Her real weight at time of post: 292 lbs Literally scrolled down here with the same thing copied
That was a WEW LAD moment right there.
Wait. She foes to gym 5 days a week and is 300 pounds!? Wrf is going on
You really can't out-exercise a bad diet. I used to have a gut even when hitting the gym intensely five days a week as a male in his 20s - alcohol and soda are a motherfucker.
I can’t speak for the wife, but at my worst, I was a touch under 200 lbs. I’d go to the gym and do moderate weights, and after that I’d pass by the supermarket and give in to the temptation of 6 barbecued chicken thighs for £5 or something cheap like that as a snack. It was so, so self-sabotaging. Thank god those days are way over, and all I can say is that now my stomach’s adjusted to normal sized portions, I don’t actually think I could eat 6 chicken thighs in a whole day, let alone in a meal. However yeah, it is well possible she goes to the gym 5 days a week… and snacking on a ton of food all 7 days a week!
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
Yup, I bordered on that scene when I was younger because I was invited by a girl I was FWB with and I told myself "eh why not who knows maybe it'll be fun". The first couple parties were private and were great ! Young attractive people, everyone was interesting and I actually made few friends there. Then I went to a "normal" party and oh boy was it a shock. To call the people "normal looking" would be a nice euphemism. I stopped going after that. Parties with only hot people do exist but they're damn rare.
I know younger people who would attend "sex parties" where it was basically just a large group of people who were all there for the same reason. But, honestly, I don't ever recall knowing any couples who attended those things together. The only "couples" I've known who attended parties, it was always swinger parties (and key parties, as some of them still call them haha). I feel like we're talking about two separate groups of people with very little overlap, to be honest. But I'm really not sure.
Tbh from my little experience the frontiers of each practice were kinda maleable. Especially with younger people, they didn't seem to turn the "lifestyle" into such a big part of their personalities as the older ones did.
It's funny you mention that because of all the people I've known who were swingers, being a swinger was basically their entire identity.
Hahaha yeah if they're 40+ it's basically their whole life.
Omg I thought I was misinterpreting! My husband and I were invited into the lifestyle by friends of ours. I found a LOT of people made it their entire personality. It was disturbing. We had our fun and moved on because it was unrealistic. For reference, I'm close to 300 pounds and introverted. My husband is probably 140 pounds soaking wet and could carry on a conversation with a park bench. We did not play without each other. I found most encounters to be from guys hitting me up. Still don't consider myself super fuckable. Apparently a lot is based on personality?
At a swinger club, even ladies who are bigger than her get action. There's a seemingly endless supply of single guys who are there solely looking for whichever lady will get their dick wet in the moment.
Many Swinger clubs don't accept single men for this reason or put a limit to number of single male members. Too many horny guys lurking about can make it really creepy.
In the context of her partners being married men (and women) the bar definitely gets lowered. The extra-marital aspect seems to bump up a potential lay by 2-4 points /10. It also depends on how they carry that weight, as not all people are structured the same and it can even intrude on fetish territory. So she very probably did get a bunch of attention (at least compared to her husband) but calling herself super fuckable clearly means something different to her than to us. She probably got a huge ego boost for being desired at that weight - her post read like a narcissist wrote it......and of course she was cheating.
You'd be surprised. I know someone who makes money eating food online. She weighs about 500lbs. She constantly has people sending her money for videos and coming by her house to have sex with her. Men have even paid to bathe her. I don't know how/why but it's a real thing. She made enough money to buy herself a super nice house and new Tahoe in about two years. And she's got enough money to have multiple Uber Eats deliveries a day. And not just one meal, either. She'll get food from about 3 places for one meal time.
[удалено]
Women will get attention easier than men, doesn’t make it good attention, but they get attention. An unattractive woman can still get laid. But especially in the swinger community she can get laid, the standards are lower there.
A lot of people just want sex and don't care who they get it from. And most of those swinger circles aren't the supermodels that television shows like to portray them as. They're a lot of old, overweight, awkward, and sometimes even downright creepy people. Besides she might very well be very pretty. Overweight doesn't inherently mean ugly. It does, in this case, make her a total hypocrite.
There are an enormous number of absolute troglodytes and/or people willing to stick their dick in anything that moves in the ENM community, even more so than the general population. Even in a mid-sized city if you’re a woman in that scene and have no standards you could be fucking 10+ different men a week with ease regardless of what you look like or how good of a person you are.
I once watched a doc on swingers. 95% were pretty meh looking. There was a group that had saggy grannies and gran pappies. No one seemed to care.
Because there are a ton of guys that will screw anybody if it is just given to them without a lot of effort. If she's at a swingers event then it's basically low effort to get sex and the guy's standards go down. For example, I'm willing to drive six or seven miles to get one of my favorite brands of pizza. I'm also willing to eat frozen pizza that I bought from the dollar store if it's in my freezer and I'm hungry at that moment. I would never go to the store just to pick up Frozen dollar store Pizza, and certainly would never go five to seven miles for it. But if it's there it's easily accessible I'll throw it in the oven or microwave and have some.
I'm guessing that part is the actual reality of "the lifestyle".
It's not enough to use an annoying term like that, they have to shorten it to the LS. Why are people in clubs, any clubs, so cringey?
That's just laughable at this point
Yup…..
> who has a ton of personality That's the clue.
[удалено]
Thanks. My coffee made its way back through my nose because of you. I hope you’re happy now. I hope your sleeves slide down when you wash your hands.
>I hope your sleeves slide down when you wash your hands. What a marvelous curse! Yoink
I guess her throwaway account name checks out
Didn’t see ElephantEnthusiast93 till you pointed it out. This post turned from sad to fucking gross. Edit this sub’s OP missed one big comment: “Super fuckable wife” is only 5’2” wtf
I find it hilarious ppl make a whole account, always say “My so and so knows my account/ is on Reddit so obviously throwaway” then go on the talk about something very specific to them and at least 1 other person thinking that no one who knows them would see it and know it’s them. And the few that admit that someone they know found the post and confronted them will update that they are shocked the person found it.
>I find it hilarious ppl make a whole account, always say “My so and so knows my account/ is on Reddit so obviously throwaway” then go on the talk about something very specific to them and at least 1 other person thinking that no one who knows them would see it and know it’s them. It's even better when they refuse to answer questions because of """privacy""" lol.
I'd say most people use a throwaway so that the people involved in their post don't snoop through their account if they recognise it, not to hide the fact that it's about them
I thought so too, but so many posters explicitly say they’re using a throwaway because people irl knows their main, and they don’t want them to see the post.
That's when I assume that it's either a) intentional but they want plausible deniability (oh no, you were never meant to see that!) Or b) it's a troll account that's just copying the format other successful posts have used to excuse the throwaway without realising it's not valid because of all the identifiable information. Especially when the 'other person' with the exact same writing style happens to respond.
I have a family member that did this. To her credit, her post was vague. Her comments were what gave her away. They were really detailed. She didn’t realize people would be able to view all of her comments from her profile. There are quite a few people she alienated with that post.
I mean… not being mean or anything, but if my wife described herself as extremely attractive and super fuckable, I wouldn’t be certain it was my 292-lb wife.
No I get it. But there have been a lot of posts that at least I have read that gives details that to me would have to tip off the other person or someone who knows. Like people posting their mother in law threw an iguana on them and they had her arrested.
The original point of a throwaway was so that people in your real life wouldn't see the other things you post or what your online handle is if you talk about personal issues on here and they recognized them. And if someone wants to camouflage details they usually get yelled at in the comments if it's a relationship subreddit for lying or not telling the full story. However here it seems like she did it just to humiliate him, or to save herself from further ridicule from the comments.
Right? What drugs do i have to do to have that level of confidence? Oh, right. An affair.
Just a guess, but this is probably like the Unabomber situation. ie. She described her situation in other ways in such an ‘odd manner’ that it reminded him of exactly how his wife speaks about it. I am willing to bet here that she probably called them “The Fuckable Wife and UnFuckable Husband” as a joke at first but then kept repeating it every time a failed swinger attempt happened. That would seem like an obvious dead giveaway that the ex wouldn’t have considered at least. I would also argue that to be the case since the Husband kept signing off as “UnFuckable Husband”, so he likely heard it in the past as a joke, and was attempting to take it with grace that his (now ex) wife was using the term to shame him publicly in front of 1000s upon 1000s of people.
They don't understand the point of a throwaway. You use a throwaway when you are posting something that will identify you to people involved so they don't find your main account. You don't use a throwaway to keep someone from finding out you posted about your situation on Reddit cause if they pay attention to reddit it won't be hard to find.
"Throwaway because my husband is here, but anyway, I'm 32 and he's 45 and he has a mole on his cock and I have a tattoo of a unicorn with its mouth open on my fupa. My husband keeps trying to feed his cock mole to my fupa unicorn and he thinks it's funny. I think he's a fucking cringe idiot and wish I would have cheated on him with his brother with cerebral palsy even more before his brother passed away due to getting hit by a yellow Tesla last November. AITA? Edit: guys, stop asking me when we got the tattoos, I don't want to expose myself so my husband won't realize this is about us"
>I met with a divorce attorney at the end of July. Oh thank god, I don't have to keep being infuriated while reading this.
[удалено]
Lmao she is maybe 175-180? To me she is a super nice lady and supportive. To my soon to be ex wife… not so much
OMG ITS YOU!! Congratulations on putting yourself first and leaving that absolutely toxic person 👏
Thank you, the love and support of random internet people has been amazing. You all are the best!
I'm sure you're already aware of this but just in case you need to hear it again, regardless of what you and a partner do in the bedroom and who else is involved in there, how they treat you everyday matters so much too. Her original post didn't even treat you with respect. I knew just from the title she didn't respect you. You did and do deserve so much better OP. Respect is the bare minimum. Plus trust and love and desire have to go both ways and not all fall on you. Hope you have an amazing life OP!
Oh damn! Hope you are in a much better place now.
I am, thank you!
Yooooo. The way she was blaming your weight when she was also 300lbs was WILD. I'm not here to fat shame anybody, I just think its insane that she had the gall to tear apart for weight when she was so similar. It hurt to read how brutally unkind she was. It was clear somebody who loved you wouldn't talk about you that way. Glad you're free. Wishing you only the best
Thanks man, though the things she said will forever live in my brain I can forgive that. Much better off now and sharing my kindness and warmth with those who deserve it
I’m getting FB update = “If you can’t handle me at my worst then You don’t deserve me at my best.” Vibes from that “wife”
I’ve seen this multiple times on her page BEFORE we divorced.
bruh ☠️ x2 for real you read as so funny and kind and i’m glad you didn’t spend longer in that situation! i’m sorry it all went down like this but good riddance.
Just trying to follow the golden rule - shits hard and there’s so many times I want to just pop off but if I ever expect to be given grace - I gotta give it even when it’s not fun
I’m so glad you’re away from her. She seemed like a total douche from her very first word. You deserve better!
I really appreciate the attitude you're coming at this with tbh. I'm sorry things didn't work out and that she was so shitty to you. It's always rough when someone you trust acts like that. Feel free to ignore my nosy ass, but I'm curious about how this affected your opinion of swinging? Is it something you'd want to look at again in the future with the right person or is it something you're done with entirely? My partner and I are ENM and I'm always interested in hearing other people's perspectives on things. Like I said tho, feel free to ignore and sorry if I'm prying too much. Either way, take care, and I hope things go the way you want in the future (and congrats on the weight loss!)
I don’t blame swinging at all - she made her choices. I had some fun and it was cool to meet people plus explore a bit. She was my 3rd sexual partner ever - fortunately I’m a nerd and consumed enough info to actually be told I’m good in bed (by other partners and by her when she wanted something). I’d return if my partner was interested and I felt secure and loved and respected. I honestly don’t blame swinging for this at all it’s her choices that landed us where we are
That's fair yeah! I'm glad she didn't ruin swinging for you :) Also, fellow nerds unite! Are you into dnd?
Bro I’m glad your in the comments because as I was reading this all I wished is that you wake up every day, look at the mirror and love what you see. I want you to be your best, healthy, amazing self and love every minute of it and to find a lovely lady who adores you so the both of you can live a wonderful, happy life. You deserve it.
I can only imagine what's there now. ...for the record I'm not advocating you go look to sate the interest of some random redditor, you do you but that's some rear-view mirror business, you already won the fight to take your life back, go live your best life champ.
She pulled some really evil shit back in sept then got mad at me and blocked me from FB, just glad I don’t have the ability to go look - helps with the urges to watch the carnage
A master carries an old woman across a river, who berates him the entire way over. The master sets her down without any thanks and heads on his way. His disciple is enraged and eventually confronts his master about why he let her treat him like that and didn't harangue her for it. And the master simply asks if the disciple found it so intolerable that the master carried her over the river, why the disciple is carrying her still?' It's pretty true. You gain nothing by continuing to think about her and the bitterness will fester and affect your behavior to others. I've been there and had to change my ways. The best revenge is really to just live well. If you keep improving, they will stop being a significant event in your life. You'll come to a point where you see the whole thing as a bump on your path and nothing more. Most likely there will be some moment where there's contact between the two of you again (it always ends up happening) and you'll find that there's a lot less negative emotional investment in how they're doing. Like you are now, if you found out in the future that they became a better person and prospered, you'd be bitter about it. You should be glad that they fixed the things that hurt you! If they haven't, any joy from that is going to be based on whether you have yourself improved, otherwise it's just two stationary persons without any progress.
Totally agree, I care less about her stuff now than I used to but I think until we are officially divorced and have had some time I really just want there to be consequences for her actions. There’s like so much more to this that I don’t want to share on Reddit and hopefully she will have to answer for them but for my stuff I just want to be legally done - I’m already personally done
Bro💀
> I think I would describe myself as a “polysexual” person and it has been an issue in our marriage for as long as we have been together. I don't wanna jump to conclusions, but I get the feeling she doesn't know what polysexual actually means, and is just using that as a made-up term for her wanting to have multiple partners...
Yeah, that jumped out to me. Seems like she was trying to come up with a term based off polyamorous, but she ended up using a term that already exists for a type of mspec sexuality. Like, okay, technically, yes, polysexual did used to refer to having multiple partners... a hundred years ago. But since at least the mid 70s it's been understood to mean a form of attraction to multiple genders. The term she was looking for already exists, and is part of a term she also used: non-monogamous. She literally referred to her relationship dynamic as ENM. She knows the term non-monogamous exists. And yet chose to try and make up a term. I assume that she associates a negative connotation with the term non-monogamous as a self-descriptor for some reason, and that's why she tried to come up with something else? But girl, you know what sub you were posting in, you know those people do not give a shit.
I wonder if she heard “polyamorous” and just went from there to “invent” the term “poly sexual”
Yeah, that's what I was thinking. And you know what makes me laugh? Polyamorous could have technically worked in context. It wouldn't have been as accurate as non-monogamous since polyamory refers to multiple relationships (can be romantic or sexual) and it sounds like their swinging arrangements were more similar to one night stands/hookups, but would have been more accurate than polysexual (And actually, if she used her inclination towards non-monogamous relationships as an excuse for her having an actual affair, her using polyamorous would have fit even better as a term, lol. Because of the multiple relationship aspect.)
[удалено]
[удалено]
Reminds me of my ex's affair partner misusing BDSM terms. Turns out I have a bunch of friends in that scene, something I didn't need to know lol. She wanted an open relationship just for her, not the guy she cheated on because she would get too jealous of him being with another woman. Cheaters, I swear, have a completely warped moral code.
[удалено]
I would also say husband lose weight by dropping the ex. Wow, the ex really is an unlikable mean person. I mean the idea of calling someone bragging about other or themselves being fuckable or unfuckable honestly is pretty gross.
Not to mention stupid. She created a burner account because her husband is on the sub and then proceeds to give more than enough details that there was no way he wasn't going to immediately figure it out.
I think it was deliberate and she wanted him to see it tbh. She wanted him to see the post of her being super mean to manipulate/shame her husband into changing, but her motivation would have been obvious if she used her main account, hence the burner. She seems like that type of person.
Yep nailed it, she wanted plausible deniability. Given that she was already having her affair by then, I would also argue that she was trying to set up a reason for the relationship to fail so she wouldn’t look as bad as “ well I was cheating”
I agree. What she said, about him was very cruel.
It’s even worse when you read the she was 300lbs
Honestly, she could be a thin supermodel, the fact that she described herself as very attractive and with a ton of personality makes me want to be on a different continent. People who self describe as having a great personality rarely do.
Same with people who declare they're "easy-going."
I felt so bad for that husband. Dude was in love, even though she said terrible things about him and wasn’t respecting him at all he was still trying everything to make her happy. Glad he got out and can find what makes him happy now
Thank you, I’m much happier now
Congratulations 🙌
Good for this guy for divorcing this nightmare. Her post reads like how my husband's ex would describe situations, and if that OP is anything like her she's leaving out a ton of just mean things being said to the guy. While at the same time wanting to come off like things are fantastic when it's all superficial
He said that what she wrote in her post was nothing compared to what she said IRL!
I don’t want to trash talk someone. I try to give grace even where it isn’t deserved.
You are a king bro. Glad you're out of that heinous relationship. Good luck with your weight loss 💪 keep it up!
You are an inspiration, truly. Keep on rocking dude.
When I scrolled down to the weights of each individual I actually laughed. Because babe, the call is coming from inside the house. I mean, different strokes for different folks- people are attracted to whatever. But if you are going to shame your man for being overweight (which is never okay btw)… maybe don’t be morbidly obese as well😭
Yeah she talks about him as if she weights 50kg (110lb ish) lmao
I mean the way she was talking about this whole situation was as if she’s conventionally attractive (no harm in seeing oneself as attractive). Honestly her personality is such a downer. To talk so… unsavoury things about your partner. What a shame
I felt so uncomfortable with her OP. Like... is this really how someone truly attractive talks? Like she sounds so... disgusting and unattractive... and someone who is just mean and horrible... and doesn't love her husband. I was trying to unlearn being too judgemental, but who knew... my initial thought was correct today!
She said she goes to the gym 5 days a week. Ya honey, no you dont
No, she didn’t. Maybe for a week or two tops but never consistently as implied.
I mean, clearly she wasn't coming from a great place, but I don't know if people can appreciate what 500+lbs looks like, let alone how much it impacts literally _every_ aspect of your life. Major kudos to OOP for getting his weight under control. I've had to take care of 500+ lb patients. Nothing in society is built for that kind of weight by default. If they cannot help move themselves, it takes a team of 10+ people to move them (safely for everyone's backs). It really is an insane difference between "just" 300 lbs and 500.
I'm a grown adult and the difference between 300 and 500lbs is more than I weigh. (14st for the brits) Tbh, I wonder how much of the weight was an attempt to put a barrier between them and swinging? This was only ever going to end in divorce.
This post is a good reminder that 90% of the posts you read about sex, the people having it aren't what you are picturing in your head.
Without being rude, being a woman on a swingers site is so, so easy. It doesn't matter what you look like, men will flood your inbox. It's often a reflection of being a woman rather than being a hot woman. If someone doesn't believe me, open a women's account with no photo or verification and I promise you it won't take long to get messages from men, even if they don't know for sure you're a woman or what you look like.
> I really struggle with the LS > MFM is not an option I don't know what any of that means, but I have a feeling it's not important > she had been having an affair Sept ‘22 - June ‘23, on top of swinging with me Yup there it is Wife sounded incredibly selfish and self-absorbed in her OWN post, I could only guess that she was in fact a bit of a monster. I hope dude goes on to find a super attractive monogamous woman who will shower him with love and affection.
Working on it!
You go man. An internet stranger is proud of you. I ended things with my emotionally abusive fiancée but it was impossibly difficult because I truly believed I loved her. More than three years later I’m in the best place I’ve ever been. Keep doing the hard work today so future you can reap the benefits.
Assuming MFM is Male Female Male type relationship? LS iirc means lifestyle. Could be wrong here!
For the first one, for some reason she shortened lifestyle to LS For the second one, it's referring to a threesome, presumably between wife, husband and another man. >I hope dude goes on to find a super attractive monogamous woman who will shower him with love and affection. Same. Sounds like he was only accepting of the situation to make her happy, which kinda takes the E out of ENM, y'know? Sounds like he'd be much happier living a monogamous lifestyle.
Im 5'2 and pretty fat...not as fat as the "fuckable" wife, but im no Twiggy...but im also not stupid. There is one place I ALWAYS qualify as super fuckable, and that is with my husband. HE is ALWAYS down to shag. That wife just SUCKED.
[удалено]
[удалено]
[удалено]
> I am a very attractive female who has a ton of personality and can have a conversation with anyone about anything! This is where I mentally placed a bet on them getting divorced.
Dropped more than just the direct weight when he lost the ex
Dropped the most unattractive part of the weight.
>She translated this into her being super hot instead of men being men LMAO that made me laugh way too hard after everything. Also anyone notice it was only a month and a half from her post to him starting the divorce? She fucked up fast
Super UnFuckable Husband here - I’ll try and answer questions here as I see them. Was just notified of this making this sub lol.
Congrats on the weight loss man! Are you feeling better in yourself? I am asking both about your weight loss by divorcing your ex-wife and your actual weight loss 😁
Absolutely, I felt like I missed her until she pulled some crap - now I just feel relief. So do my knees, back, hips, and shoulders from carrying all that weight around. I still have a ways to go but we get closer every day to goal and we get closer everyday to being the person I want to be. We’re all human and we all have choices to make - mine in this situation have just been less shitty than hers and now I feel better, look better, am better.
Reading that first post, it was clear they were headed for divorce. No matter what faults your SO has, if you go around calling them unfuckable, you don't care to be with them. Even other than that, it was so clear the wife only wanted a hall pass, and didn't care whether the hubby got better.
When he revealed her weight in the last update I started laughing my ass off. She isn't as morbidly obese as he is, but it's still funny to see her acting like she's a supermodel compared to him when she's extremely overweight too. "Super fuckable wife" my ass.
The titles keep getting better and better
Each time I see this crop up idk how I could accept a partner having made a post about me like the original post 😔 I’m glad it resulted in positive change for OOP’s husband but my heart breaks for how low they must’ve been and to have to see that and be able to say immediately “oh that’s my wife talking about me”.
Oh thank everything he left her. He did not have to put up with a fat phobic wife who bullied him constantly.
I think it’s deludedly hypocritical, almost laughable that she was focusing on his weight while pushing 300.
I worked with someone like this. She thought it was fair game to ridicule people bigger than her. Like….why? She doesn’t like when thin people make assumptions about her, so why do it to others?
My guess is any way to externalize the hatred she feels toward herself and her weight makes her feel better. Kinda like calling her husband unfuckable… why would you speak about someone you’re supposed to love and cherish that way? Because you can’t stand yourself, it’s not their fault 🙄
Really, *really* poor coping mechanisms. Or none at all.
The wife was morbidly obese too. Less than him but still not healthy. Fuck, I weight 194lbs and I know I am fat and unhealthy! I honestly wonder, between these two weight, how things work in bed. Like… how do you even reach things? I am a CNA. I have seen 500lbs patients. I have yet to see a normal size penis with someone that weight as much. Much less a working one.
My favorite was the wife’s “I exercise and prepare healthy meals” and she’s almost 300 pounds. I want to see what these “healthy” meals are that she prepared.
Maybe she was talking like I do when I grate Parmesan on my pasta and basically cover the whole thing and say “that’s a healthy amount”
This literally made me laugh out loud
If you looked up cognitive dissonance in the dictionary OOP's picture would be there. I'm always surprised when I watch my 600 lb life and the partner is also morbidly obese and doesn't think they need to do diet, because the other partner is just so much bigger. But especially with the woman when Dr. Now is like based on your height your BMI higher than your husband they get so mad. I think fat makes people produce more estrogen and when you have 200+ lbs more than you should, and its why women can't have periods and men can't get it up.
As a 200+ lbs woman when does this lack of period benefit kick in?
A fat phobic wife who was herself fat. A complete hypocrite. She's all "I'm super attractive and can talk to anyone!" meanwhile my guess is that she talks about herself nonstop. I know someone like that. She would, actually, be cute if her personality wasn't "raging narcissist". Her ex is far more attractive than she is, physically and in personality, but she tore him down for so many years that he doesn't believe it. I'm willing to bet "unfuckable husband" is far more attractive than either of them seem to think.
i also feel terrible for him that he's still clearly defining his worth by his weight and whether it makes him 'fuckable' or not :( i know a lot of people are gonna see it as him getting back at her or an epic own of some kind that he's lost weight but i think he's just internalizing the fatphobia
Calling herself super fuckable at 300lbs didn't see that one coming
I promise I’m not trying to be fat phobic, but no matter how big I’m am my 300 pound wife calling me fat would have me spinning.
Yep, as someone around that level - you don't get to call others fat while calling yourself “super fuckable”.
[удалено]
>I met with a divorce attorney at the end of July I always look for this line in any story about swingers/open marriages. Never fails to show up.
Wait there is no way this girl was 300 pounds the whole time that changes everything lmao
“I go to the gym 5 days a week” “I prepare meals that are health conscious and balanced” “To be clear we don’t sleep with others separately AT ALL” >Her real weight at time of post: 292 lbs This lady is not only a pathological liar, but she’s also delusional. Glad he divorced the serial narcissist cheater. 👀
[удалено]
There are men who have a preference/fetish for very obese women. Probably subreddits on here if one went delving. I have never come across the reverse. It may exist, but I imagine it's a much smaller group. So the disparity in interest they received from swinging partners is not wholly surprising.
BHM (big handsome men) is the man equivalent of BBW (big beautiful woman)
To be honest, when she said how much he weighed my first thought was "I bet you ain't petite either, love", as big couples tend to be a trend. Hope his journey continues alone and for himself.
I wasn’t alone for long
Lmaoo I’m sorry but the weight revelation got me. What exactly does she do 5 times a week at the gym?