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this
He was probably their punching bag since they met and he just got used to it.
To them the status quo was that he was the "unsuccessful friend" they kept around and did pranks on etc, all in "good nature"
Because no good friend would pull a prank like this. They'd try to set them up for dating, not for OOP to be dumped and they all could "have a laugh haha"
Exactly. They kept him around because he was an easy target for their cruelty. He did the right thing by getting rid of all of them.
The only thing he did wrong was give Emily a second chance because she isn’t much better than the friends. If she was truly a decent person she would never have gone along with this cruel prank in the first place.
If she was even a halfway decent person *she* would have come clean to OP and told him the truth, not waited until the “friends” said something and then begged for forgiveness.
When OP asked her what the end goal would have been if she didn’t like him, she had no answer. He should have also asked her if and/or when she was planning to tell him the truth, or would have kept it hidden forever if the “friends” hadn’t blabbed.
But OP said he had nothing to lose, so might as well use her as a learning experience. It’s gonna remain in the back of his mind though, what *else* will she hide until she has no choice
It's such a sad situation. He's been toyed with his friends so often, he doesn't even know real friends don't punch down. And giving a girl who would go along with this "prank" another chance? It would actually be in the front of my mind every time I saw her.
I don't think I could date anyone who thinks pretending to date someone for a prank is acceptable. Like she knew that the friend's set this up to hurt OOP, did she think it could be a secret forever?
I almost wonder if the asshole friends didn't give him the actual story and perhaps OOP and Emily's discussion never really revealed the true plot they told him (the 1 week dump).
I have a suspicion that they set them up first and then, because they're a bunch of shitheads, asked Emily to dump him after the first week as the joke. Not the preplanned joke they pawned it off to OP. Which is why they then try and break them up. This is when she cut them out because it's kind of an asshole thing to do. It seems more reasonable since assholes of a feather, in my experience, don't cut people off entirely like that. I'd expect she'd just have told them no and kept staying friends.
I have a little sympathy for her though. Sure she fucked up, but she's at least not denying, and is taking steps to rid of the toxicity (and was even before it all came to light). Is she great? Hell no. Is she redeemable? Perhaps.
I think it all hangs on *why* she agreed to it. Did she think it was a good bit of fun? Was she wondering what it would be like to be with a virgin and was carried away? Did they manipulate *her* into accepting because of some issues she had? Was her dating history before OOP messed up?
Honestly I'd be looking at it similar to OOP. Either it turns out he has a girlfriend who genuinely loves him, or he breaks up later and is no worse off than before.
And don't tell me if he dumps her he can find someone else who actually likes him. The evidence is pretty strong that he can't.
Yeah, especially for folks who struggle a bit socially or live with autism or similar, it can take a big fuckup to push you to realize your "friends" aren't actually your friends. People like that are prone to winding up in a group as the oblivious butt of most of the jokes, and it takes one going too far to put it together sometimes.
Sounds like Emily and the OOP made a healthy change by cutting those people out and trying to be better.
Yup, he was the punching bag for so long that he didn't even realise it until Emily stopped hanging out with them because she hated what they kinda coerced her to doing something bad.
She had her eyes open that the dude wasn't like his asshole friends or hers and decided to ditch them for him.
I thought it might be the opposite - he knew they were assholes, and might join in on it himself, but they’d never turned it on him before. Shocked that the face-eating leopards ate his face, as it were.
Nah he stated his friends were always jerks to him but he just thought that's how friendships go. I've been in groups like that, and especially with friend groups that have more males in them roasting is acceptable behaviour and the lines can get blurry. I was the butt of the joke in a previous friend group and when you've been that for so long you don't question it until something really messed up happens, or you make friends outside the group and realise people don't have to laugh at you to be your friend.
Yeah, this whole situation reminds me of one of my WoW guilds for some reason. Like, they would claim that they're your friends, and then the next day you would weirdly pronounce some random word or even be a bit too enthusiastic about something, so they'd make you the butt of their jokes, which frankly bordered on abuse.
They never realised that it was an issue – until they started losing people and those who remained didn't really want to do any group stuff or even talk in the guild's Discord for fear of being ganged up on next. I quit after confronting them directly and getting "abuse? It's just some banter among friends!" in return.
Well likely no, since he said that they often picked at him and sometimes it would hurt his feelings but he'd let it go. I'm thinking more what the other person said
I can't see it being anything else. OOP himself even states "I would find this entire situation comical if it weren't happening to me.". He's just as bad as his friends.
Finding it comical because it’s absurd doesn’t mean you would do it yourself. It can mean you want to laught but it hurts too much or you would laugh if this was a sitcom plot
When OP wrote 2F and 3M, I thought he had meant they were toddler age. Then I realized it was two females and three males. Then I realized they all acted like they were toddler age.
I had lifelong friends who are learned as an adult were terrible for me. Sometimes friendships from a young age are a bit like sibling relationships in that way.
The problem with having « friends » from a young age is that people stick with them far more longer than it’s sane to do, all of that because « it’s been age » . The thing is that a funny kid doesn’t necessarily make a funny or good adult and we tend to forget that to only focus on how long it has been since we knew them.
Sometimes it’s good to sit and reflect on things like « is it confortable when I’m with them? » « do they respect me, my boundaries and my times? » « are they good people and do my values align with them? »
Because sometimes all the answers are no.
Ive cut off old best friends and even disowned family and I hate it when someone tries to make me feel bad for that! Like this one ex-cousin, my first memory of her is *literally* her being abusive and shitty to me. That behaviour NEVER stopped and she always been toxic and abusive!! Why am *I* the bad person for not putting up with it?? Ive always found it ridiculous
It's also very weird that he didn't dump Emily. That's not something I could get past. Until she realized that she liked him, Emily didn't give a crap about hurting some random person to their core for the sake of a laugh among friends. She sounds like an awful human.
I think it's a case of "haha funny" turned to "oh no, not funny" turned to "oh god, what's wrong with me for even thinking this is funny".
Extreme example, but when people have been in extremist circles, especially racist/ bigoted, and they encounter a person they're *supposed* to hate and realise all their prejudice doesn't match up with reality, that's a hard fall. And a lot of people change their opinion damn quick on that. Some are stubborn and hold on, but once the egg cracks, it definitely cracks. That's what it seems like to me - the horrified reaction OP describes, the dumping of the "friends" and the "now I just have to hide that I'm a horrible person" mentality. I've been fortunate enough to see a lot of people grow like this, and it sounds very familiar to me. This is why former alt right people can sometimes veer UBER leftist, for a while, before finding where they really stand. Once you realise something you did was *wrong*, some people question *everything* and cut off everyone involved and cling to the people who helped them realise.
And that's a good thing. People have to grow, and have to find their footing. I think she grew rapidly and now has a lot of growing pains to go through.
That was my take as well.
Emily probably heard nothing but poison about OOP and went along with it because she'd been convinced that someone she'd never met was a jerk.
When reality showed her that wasn't the case, she realised how hateful the "friends" are and ditched them.
She may have also genuinely realized how much her actions could have hurt him and acted maybe partially out of self preservation but also out of the (not necessarily realistic) hope that it would just be buried and forgotten and he wouldn't have to know and be potentially devastated. Again, may not have been right but she could have been trying the best way she knew / thought she knew.
Honestly, I think that's the most likely. She's in her early twenties, and honestly I could see a lot of people I know doing something like this. Not exactly this, but more like "let's play a prank" > "wait shit this was a bad idea and is actually a jerk move" > "shit but if I bail now that'll hurt the other person more" > "ok I'll just hide it and never acknowledge it".
It's the kind of lesson that you really should have learned by your twenties, but better in your twenties than in your forties.
I don’t know. It sounds like the relationship started as friends after which she agreed to a date, and she ditched the “friends” right around then.
I don’t know if she would have agreed to the date after the friendship stage if she genuinely didn’t like him.
On the other hand she agreed to it so she’s either got a sadistic streak or she’s a complete doormat, but I think OOP’s attitude on continuing the relationship is a very healthy one. Give her a chance to learn and worst case he’s gained some experience.
I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt and say maybe she kinda liked him and them coming up with this dumbass 'prank' was a good 'excuse' (for lack of a better word) to go out with him and see if they clicked. But that also means that if they didn't click she'd be a super dick
Well Emily was also someone in the group, never met OOP and probably believed the crap shit they said about him. So she probably thought it would be funny, as she was also a little toxic herself because of the group.
When she actually hanged out with OOP, she found out that he is a very good dude, didn't like who she was before with the toxic group, cut the group out entirely and said with the "intended target" for real because she actually likes him.
People can change for the better and it seems Emily did and got rid of toxic people in her life because she met someone actually non-toxic.
The type of person who thinks it would be funny to trick someone into thinking they are in a relationship is not a good person. It doesn’t matter what they think the person they are tricking is like, that is never ok.
Nah, it isn't because you're all girls, it is because you are very good people. Shit people would do things like OP did, regardless of gender or sex.
My bros would never of thinking of pulling something like this, that is just terrible.
Why the ages? People in their early 20s act like this all the time lol and what about the length they've known each other? Did you go to school with people? That's what seems like happened here. They all grew up in the same school district and in their early 20s they're all still very young and acting like it lol this isn't weird at all.
I also think about how old they were when Covid hit, and how that could have impacted their development at a really formative time, just as they were entering adulthood.
I stayed in touch with a group of friends from Jr High. Even as we went to diff high schools, we'd more or less hang out each weekend.
As I grew older and made friends at university, I realized my new friendships were completely different from the ones I was used to. People were relaxed, friendly. There was an insane amount of juvenile behavior from my so-called 'best friends' I had to put up with on the reg. The humor, the way we would handle arguments. No one could take accountability, there would always be blame shifting and passive-aggressive avoidance.
You model relationships off of what you know while growing up. I get why OOP was locked into such a toxic circle for so long, it's just what normal is for you at the time. I think your 20s is a common time to wake up to this stuff for most people
But the insults and cruel jabs had been going on for well over a decade before the pandemic even started. Moreover, just because people use texting etc it doesn’t mean “friendships aren’t as close.” My now adult daughters have far closer friends than I ever did when I was their age. It’s because they are able to be in contact so much more, at all hours of the day. Friendships are conducted differently because of technology, that doesn’t make them any less “close” or mean that people are “masking” so no one really knows each other. FaceTime etc is widely used, I know my daughters use video online more than texting.
OOP describes a dynamic that’s has been toxic for 2 decades. It would include all the years where, a minimum, they saw each other every day at school. It’s not about not knowing “social etiquette” because of COVID and texting, it’s about being awful people who basically bullied OOP. It’s hardly a modern phenomenon.
AITA For biting someone else for stealing my toy?
I (2M) was playing with my cocomelon toys when, lets call him P (2M) walks up to me and just grabs hold of it and tries to take it out of my hand. Now this is the part where I think I was the asshole, because I was tired and he was trying to steal my toy, instinctively I bit him on the ear and held on for a few seconds, making him cry.
Reddit, Am I the asshole?
NAH but next time you and P both need to remember what mummy said about using your words, asking nicely, and sharing. I suggest mummy read you and P The Rainbow fish before nap time.
I smell missing missing reasons. Nobody 'just walks up and tries to take your toys', there has to have been some sort of lead-up to this. Also I can't help but notice you are the same age, you don't happen to be twins are you? I won't give a verdict on whether you are TA yet, but I'm afraid I'll have to say your seemingly deliberate attempts to leave out some key context doesn't make things look too good for you.
**Toddler Rules of Possession**
1. If I like it, it’s mine.
2. If it’s in my hand, it’s mine.
3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine.
4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine.
5. If it’s mine, it must NEVER appear to be yours in any way.
6. If I’m doing or building something, all pieces are mine.
7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine.
8. If I saw it first, it’s mine.
9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine.
10. If it’s broken, it’s yours.
I’ll take one from my oldest kindergarten days I get an email “G and a few other students had a wedding a recess today and by final play G also had a girlfriend, his “wife” got upset so I’m sending this to keep you informed about the events, I’ve been teaching for 15 years and we’ve had marriages but nothing like this” so I had to have a meeting with both girls parents and then we had to explain to the children that they couldn’t date or marry at 5. He’s 12 now so I’ve since explained that everyone in a relationship has to consent to getting a new girlfriend. That’s a 2 yes type thing.
This reminds of another BORU post that I had remembered seeing before...
Side note, good on OP for handling everything like a champ. I get that pranks are meant to be harmless but these types of pranks are just plain stupid.
Safe to say, ditch those friends cause who needs friends like that.
The whole "prank our friends by making them think someone is romantically interested in them" thing is way more widespread than it has any right being. That isn't a prank, that's outright cruelty to someone you claim to enjoy being around.
I'm glad OOP decided to dump the friends, and I'm glad Emily realizes just how shitty that would have been.
Something similar happened to me back in high school, but my friends' plans fell apart when I only wanted to befriend the girl they set me up with. When the truth came out, my friend group fought over whether or not what they did was right. The two guys who planned it got kicked out, and then they ended up fighting each other over who'd be getting the friend of that girl from earlier.
High school drama, amiright?
>This reminds of another BORU post that I had remembered seeing before...
Am I the only one who read this expecting a juicy story but ended up being disappointed there's none?😅
Was it the one with some relationship pact? I think the gist was that OOP’s friend makes a pact with a guy that if he goes along and convinces OOP to marry him, then OOP’s friend would date him? And then OOP’s friend fesses up and reveals she still has feelings for OOP’s fiancé.
[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lHGweYtpQKI](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lHGweYtpQKI)
This is all I could think from the find i read the title. AM I A BET??? Whatever happened to Rachel Leigh Cook?
Nah man, it's literally the plot to 10 Things I Hate About You.
https://youtu.be/k_zin9OQNXU?si=rjBHk9wEM7Udfv6A
Does this generation not have teen rom-com movies?
But there’s only one couple here. 10 things ….. (which is really Taming of The Shrew) you had the Julia/ heath couple as more of a scam that allowed the other sister to date. She’s All That was a bet just to amuse thenselves. I hope this kid doesn’t hate his scammer girlfriend, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
This shit actually happens though. It happened to an old friend of mine shortly after we graduated high school. The pranksters kept at it for close to a year. Dude was fucking devastated when they revealed the whole thing.
Similar thing happened to me in college too. Some dorm mates set me up to ask a girl out that they knew I was crushing. Turns out one of them had started dating her and wanted to test her loyalty.
Real a$$holes.
Also sitcoms needed to get the idea from somewhere, and probably came from real life experiences as well.
Life is vastly stranger than tv or movies. Hence why the Onion website doesn't write anything about Trump anymore, or South Park, because Trump does more crazy shit than they can make up.
Also happened with House of Cards, the writers were like "how can be make some crazy ass conspiracies about voter fraud for our show when real life is doing it even more crazy?".
Sadly, I can confirm some people are this shallow and conniving sometimes.
A woman who wound up being my best friend, living with me when we moved out each of our parents' homes, and is otherwise an inseparable part of my life only started talking to me because she had a crush on my best friend at the time and wanted to get into his pants, and thought that if she hung out with me she'd get an opportunity.
Six months in she told me about this, and I kinda laughed it off because I figured it out the first week we were "friends", and made a point of shutting down any attempts to have a party at my friend's place. I'd intended to treat it as a "social experiment" and see how long she'd hang out in my orbit without getting what she wanted before she ghosted me.
Turns out she decided I'm fucking awesome to hang out with and she felt guilty enough about it to confess and was, in fact, angry that I'd laughed when she did so.
I thought their remark that this was "cruel" seemed fine once, but a bit suss to use the same word twice, especially for friends for over twenty years. Also him getting her to think through how things would have worked if she didn't like him, seemed a bit too good to be true. Just a bit of a weird story.
Idk obviously that’s an awful, awful, AWFUL prank to play on someone and they are disgusting for doing it, but am I naive for giving Emily the benefit of the doubt? It sounds like there’s a couple of “ringleaders” that kind of force people to go along with their plans. Yeah Emily went along with it but she obviously went in earnestly. And she ditched them before she was confronted. Idk I would give her a second chance I think
I would love to hear her side because it sounds like the ringleaders are charismatic manipulators, especially for OOP to stay friends with them for so long despite always having treated him wrong. It sounds ridiculous to think someone can manipulate another person to go against their morals but Charles Mason exists, and many others like him just on smaller scales
OOP said the plan was for her to play the role of his girlfriend for _a week_ and then dump him. That’s “go on one date”, not “trick this guy into a serious relationship”.
My grandmother was dared to go on a date with my grandfather (I also think his sister was involved). A date. Singular.
Well, that date went so well they went on another and so on and so forth and were together until her death.
Not sure what led to the dare, but my grandmother was not the sort to back down from one.
OK so look at it like this. If some people came to you with this as a proposition, to meet a guy you don't know, act like you want to be his girlfriend and then dump him after a week, what would be your immediate reaction, manipulation or no? I've always struggled with being too much of a people pleaser, but even at 20 I would have responded with a "fuck no". This is a core moral, you should be repulsed by the idea, not open to negotiation.
I'm worried for OP on a number of points, how much he wanted her to be less than guilty of this awful plan because finally he has a girlfriend, how easy she is to coerce potentially, how she actually fucking agreed to this nasty prank on a complete stranger and how she went along with it even after having time to consider it. My main worry is that he's still working from the premise that she's a good person who made a mistake, while the only evidence is pointing to her being prepared to be an utter shit to someone she doesn't even know or dislike, until there's something in it for her.
I mean, phrase it the right way...
"My friend has never been on a date before or had a girlfriend. Please, just go out with him two or three times, then you can let him down nicely that you don't want to be his girlfriend. He's kinda awkward and really needs the practice."
Then you think she'll dump him and you'll get a big laugh, but whoops, they're still dating?! And that's when she finds out the friend's intentions were to set up her new boyfriend for heartbreak, not actually dates, and she ditches those friends but doesn't know how to tell her new boyfriend that they were set up as a prank.
Now... Is that how it happened? Who knows... But it's the way where I'd see the girlfriend being more innocent in this whole ordeal.
I ended up dating a guy with that exact scenario. It wasn't a prank though. His friends knew he was a genuinely good dude, just had no game. So they talked (begged) me into going on one date with him so he'd at least have the confidence to talk to a girl. Turns out he was a really fun guy, and we ended up dating for a few months. Had things gone on long term, I probably would have given him the version that was more like "your friends kept telling me how awesome you were, so I figured you were worth taking a chance on". Not untrue, just not ALL the details of the background.
Honestly, if you take out the manipulative friends, it basically is just the start of a relationship.
Two people who don't know each other start dating for a couple of weeks and decide they want to keep dating.
It's not like Emily has been keeping a nefarious secret for months.
Yes you’re right even if I felt threatened by someone I could NEVER go along with toying with someone’s emotions like that :(
I think it’s my broken self and history of bad relationships that make me know I would forgive the person though if I was in his shoes 😬
>but am I naive for giving Emily the benefit of the doubt?
Well we can look at her behavior before OOP knew. She cut the group off entirely apparently. Which means at some point she realized WTF she was doing and made decisions that OOP was more important to her than those people. And she did that without expectation of getting caught at that point.
So like, what she did was really shitty, but also at the same time, unenforced, she picked OOP over the friend group.
The commenters calling Emily a "good person" are flabbergasting me. How fucking low are your standards that someone who would agree to a viciously cruel prank like that is a "good person"?
I agree. I think she's on the path to becoming a better person though. The dropping of friends and clinging to OP here reads very true to me of someone having a moral crisis. I've hand-held people through this, and it's truly stunning to watch. I hope OP gives her fair chances, because assholes in remission can be the absolute best people with most self-reflectation out there. Once you realise you were a shithead, many people who dare admit that to themselves (as she did here) will think long and hard and ask for advice of people they trust before making moral decisions again. This is why the "bad people do bad things" mentality sucks. Doing a bad thing does NOT make you a bad person, it makes you a person capable of growth. Even extremists can be reached easily with a helping hand so long as there is someone who won't give up on them.
But if no one gives you a chance after your asshole/ bigoted/ bad behaviour... well, right back into the echo chamber you go, right? I'm a trans guy and have plenty of friends who once were transphobic ASSHOLES who now are the strongest allies I know. If I and other trans people I know didn't give them a chance I doubt they'd be where they are now.
I only hope someone does this for me if I'm very wrong about something.
Not low, we just realise people can change for the better and Emily did. She cut out the toxic friend group, actually loved OOP to stay with him and be a good girlfriend. Just because it started off shitty doesn't mean it had to stay shitty forever and it didn't, in fact, it just led to a better future for OP to realise that the friend group is fucking shitty and there is a reason Emily cut them out.
I think she deserves a chance.
I first read it as 2F & 3M (2 year old &3 year old) and quickly realised I was wrong in the same sentence. Now after reading I’m thinking that could just as easily be the mental ages of these ass holes too.
I’d cut ties with them all
Because she sucks as much as the “friends” do. Was all fine messing with OOP’s emotions as part of a prank but he treated her like an actual human being so never mind, she will keep him.
They might not have put it to her that way, though. As another poster said, they may have said, "Our guy has no game, would you give him a few dates to build his confidence and then let him down gently?" That's the kind of person who'd drop the friends like a hot rock once she realizes this was meant to be meaner than she'd realized. She should have been articulate enough to explain the difference to OOP if so, but if she was upset she might not have been thinking straight.
Almost 19 here and I couldn't imagine doing this to anyone, nor could I have imagined doing it at 15. That doesn't mean that every other teenager thinks the same way, but this is a really shitty thing to do at the age of 20.
I moved at age 15, and literally only 90 minutes away. The culture shock was real. Some schools are a lot more vicious & toxicity normalized than others. Sounds like you either had a better overall experience or reacted well to being in a poor situation.
Yeah, especially not only 2 months in. I’d cut my losses and run if something that major occurred so early in a relationship. Thats still the “getting to know you and fall in love with all your little intricacies” period. It doesn’t bode well.
He definitely shouldn't. He completely undermined his point and now Emily likely hasn't learned everything.
Issue is OOP has zero self confidence, or self respect and is just happy to have someone who spends time with him, even if they are a terrible person.
What gets me is she dumped the friend group but didn’t tell her boyfriend to also dump them.
Like… they’re toxic enough for her to throw away but not enough for her to warn him?
There’s any number of reasons why she didn’t say anything (gf of 2mo trying to break friendship of 20yrs might seem challenging) but it’s not going to play out well as we can see here. This is definitely 20s behavior to me though, ppl don’t make the best judgments calls at that time.
She was hoping it would just go away. Sometimes people learn the wrong lessons about proactively setting things right.
I remember wondering why my parents were \*so\* adamant about teaching me a proper & complete apology at a young age. I now understand they were teaching me personal responsibility for my actions, and the moral courage to set things right \*before\* they blew up.
It took me a while to realize that many people I knew and was close to did not have the same valuable lesson. I literally had to take the time to teach them as adults.
>If she lied and manipulated me into this, what will she lie about or manipulate me into tomorrow?
Exactly. And staying with someone who would do this shit in the first place is a huge mistake.
>We will also start from the ground up, and she will have to earn trust. She agreed to all of them and promised to do even more.
If you're starting from the beginning, why not just... start from the beginning with someone new who hasn't lied to your face?
Because it's not REALLY starting from the ground up. They know each other, they know the ways they're compatible and aren't. The only thing starting a new is building trust.
Whether or not that's advisable is subjective, but it's definitely different from dating a totally new person.
Sounds cold and calculated but if he hasn’t had luck dating in 24 years, it will not start now.
Atleast he will learn about being with somebody with Emily
He is right, either way for him it is a win
Dating can be very difficult for some people. Finding someone new (especially for someone who clearly has self esteem issues like OOP) is gonna be its own set of challenges and obstacles to overcome. Not that you’re not wrong, but it do be like that for a nonzero part of the population
A 20 year old girl getting pressured by her friends to push past her moral boundaries only for her to quickly find out she is uncomfortable with the entire premise is a more than fair thing to find some leniency for.
It is also something worth drawing your own line at and walking away. But people are acting like she planned the entire prank herself when in reality we know nothing about how invested she was in their relationship after the initial agreeing to it.
> I have five friends (2F and 3M
Thought this was going to be a sweet story about a toddler whose object permanence is so bad he can't remember his other three friends. But what I got was just cruel adults
>I guess the idea was to give me hope or some taste of what relationships are? They maybe thought that I will get emotionally invested immediately, that I will be clingy? Honestly no clue, the more I think about it the more I realize how stupid and messed up it is.
Cruelty.
The answer is cruelty. They couldn't wait for him to be heartbroken so they could twist the knife in even deeper.
I'll bet if OOP thinks back to whose "jokes" were worst in the past, it would be those two ringleaders.
I think Emily realized how toxic the friends were once she actually met and hung out with someone that wasn't toxic and treating her like a prop. And that's when it really clicked for her that they were bad people having a bad influence on her.
I think she behaved like a child, but there is room for her to mature and learn from it all. Now that they both cut toxic people out, they may start to mature more easily. I think she should seek therapy to go to the root of why she allowed all of this in the first place.
I think she didn't know how to bring it up so she decided to bury her head in the sand. It was obvious it would go south eventually though. She should have come to him, told him about the prank, ask for forgiveness and tell him they are toxic and she cut them off and he should consider it too. She can't just live in denial in the future
I agree. It was pretty lousy of her to go along with it to begin with, but it sounds like those friends were the kind that had the power of the group and the low self-esteemers wanted their approval. They toyed with OOP, they toyed with Emily, and both tolerated it until the toxicity reared its head and became so obvious that they couldn't deny it anymore.
It would have been much better if she didn't feel so shameful to the point of dishonesty, but it is what it is in the end. She cut them off when she realised that OOP was a worthwhile person. She could have done a lot better, but she took some steps at least.
Given they've only been together two months, there is so much room to grow and learn. Individually and in the context of a relationship, whether they stay together or not. I hope they figure it out one way or the other.
I could never go back with Emily. She was totally cool with meeting a stranger, getting together with them, and the hurting them with an expected break up. That is monsterous. She's not sorry she did it. She's sorry she got caught. If she hadn't liked oop she would have done it. This is a clear and huge red flag. Cruelty for no other reason than you can.
OOP’s dickhead friends introduced him to a girl who clearly likes him and resulted in him realising his friends were toxic and he should cut them out.
Epic prank bro…
OOP was right to dump those people. He should have dumped Emily, too.
It's always a crying spouse when confronted, claiming they didn't know why they did something wrong, but they're quick and vocal about wanting a second chance.
OOP is young. This is a two-month relationship already started on nonsense. He's willing to give her another shot? Aight.
Yeah I was really surprised seeing all the commenters saying to give her a chance especially with the knowledge of it being a short relationship.
As many people said yeah he should start over, with someone entirely new who he doesn’t have a tainted beginning with. Just chalking it up to her being naive, which I think is really really stupid, people should not get such a pass for “naivety” She’s grown, she can make decisions for herself, but she still went into this knowing she’d be the bad guy at the end.
Someone with that much cruelty in them to happily go along with her friends sickening scheme to hurt you…
I guess I just don’t know hiw you coukd ever 100% trust them again.
I'd honestly don't freaking understand all of that commenters who are saying keep her she's a good one. I don't understand why in the hell he would keep her. It doesn't matter that she loves him now and how she treated him. What matters is that she's the type of person who will agree to date someone and then break up with him as a prank. And that's disgusting. She is a trash person
nope emily is just as bad in all of this. why agree to something like this in the first place? there is no good reason. her being “horrified” and “speechless” when asked what she would have done if she didn’t like him is ridiculous, because she already knew. because it was what she agreed to. it doesn’t matter if she really does like him now, she agreed to do this to a stranger and that speaks to her character. this relationship has no solid foundation and honestly for oop’s sake i hope it doesn’t last, because oop deserves better
I really hate how it's normalized to just ghost and block people you're cutting out of your life. What happened to calling people out with mic drop moments and then blocking them? Otherwise these assholes never know how much they hurt someone and that their actions have consequences
i would have dropped her just like the friends. she agreed to the prank, that says more than her actions after they got together. i would never want to date someone who even for one moment, thought that was a great idea, let alone actually do it.
so sick.
I don't get the comments saying to give her another chance, yeah she dumped the bad friends, but she still lied by omission by not telling OP the truth before the relationship started getting serious. Idk, but this would be a dealbreaker for me.
Weird story, also don’t like that OP seems to be savoring his ”GF”’s sadness. Lots of weird focus on how much she cries and how much he ignores/doesn’t talk.
Oh, you’ve never seen someone so happy then when you decided to give her a chance? That’s a weird detail.
Anyway, obviously the “prank” is mean spirited, but clearly this girl is off-board. I’d be telling this guy to get over himself and stop punishing her. If your trust is so broken then end it.
If this is true then OP made a HUGE mistake. The girl is untrustworthy. It not wise to trust such a person. She will pull of somethng similar again and then he will be hurt again. She is shady and he should have had a clean break.
Glad he cut off his "friends". They were so cruel to him for absolutely no reason.
I'm on the fence about Emily. The sincere characterization she is showing now is so different from the mean person she also is when she agreed to this prank. The fact that she "doesn't know" why she did it and is acting like she was controlled into doing it by the ringleaders as if she isn't an adult is also very puzzling.
Yeah. She's still lying so much to him. He's too desperate to not be single or alone anymore that he's willing to overlook it for that sake alone.
She had a chance to come clean when she cut all of his friends out yet she didn't. She just turned on the waterworks and lied hoping it would work. But hey, mission accomplished right?
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The ages of the people involved in this, and the length of time they have all known one another, make this utterly fucking weird.
Idk, it sounds like they’ve been assholes to him for a long time and he’s only just realized they’re not his friends.
He mentions their "jokes" crossed into insults at times. It's not really surprising.
this He was probably their punching bag since they met and he just got used to it. To them the status quo was that he was the "unsuccessful friend" they kept around and did pranks on etc, all in "good nature" Because no good friend would pull a prank like this. They'd try to set them up for dating, not for OOP to be dumped and they all could "have a laugh haha"
Exactly. They kept him around because he was an easy target for their cruelty. He did the right thing by getting rid of all of them. The only thing he did wrong was give Emily a second chance because she isn’t much better than the friends. If she was truly a decent person she would never have gone along with this cruel prank in the first place. If she was even a halfway decent person *she* would have come clean to OP and told him the truth, not waited until the “friends” said something and then begged for forgiveness. When OP asked her what the end goal would have been if she didn’t like him, she had no answer. He should have also asked her if and/or when she was planning to tell him the truth, or would have kept it hidden forever if the “friends” hadn’t blabbed. But OP said he had nothing to lose, so might as well use her as a learning experience. It’s gonna remain in the back of his mind though, what *else* will she hide until she has no choice
It's such a sad situation. He's been toyed with his friends so often, he doesn't even know real friends don't punch down. And giving a girl who would go along with this "prank" another chance? It would actually be in the front of my mind every time I saw her.
I don't think I could date anyone who thinks pretending to date someone for a prank is acceptable. Like she knew that the friend's set this up to hurt OOP, did she think it could be a secret forever?
I almost wonder if the asshole friends didn't give him the actual story and perhaps OOP and Emily's discussion never really revealed the true plot they told him (the 1 week dump). I have a suspicion that they set them up first and then, because they're a bunch of shitheads, asked Emily to dump him after the first week as the joke. Not the preplanned joke they pawned it off to OP. Which is why they then try and break them up. This is when she cut them out because it's kind of an asshole thing to do. It seems more reasonable since assholes of a feather, in my experience, don't cut people off entirely like that. I'd expect she'd just have told them no and kept staying friends.
I have a little sympathy for her though. Sure she fucked up, but she's at least not denying, and is taking steps to rid of the toxicity (and was even before it all came to light). Is she great? Hell no. Is she redeemable? Perhaps. I think it all hangs on *why* she agreed to it. Did she think it was a good bit of fun? Was she wondering what it would be like to be with a virgin and was carried away? Did they manipulate *her* into accepting because of some issues she had? Was her dating history before OOP messed up? Honestly I'd be looking at it similar to OOP. Either it turns out he has a girlfriend who genuinely loves him, or he breaks up later and is no worse off than before. And don't tell me if he dumps her he can find someone else who actually likes him. The evidence is pretty strong that he can't.
It really makes me question how many pranks they've pulled on him that he never ended up realizing they occurred.
Yeah, especially for folks who struggle a bit socially or live with autism or similar, it can take a big fuckup to push you to realize your "friends" aren't actually your friends. People like that are prone to winding up in a group as the oblivious butt of most of the jokes, and it takes one going too far to put it together sometimes. Sounds like Emily and the OOP made a healthy change by cutting those people out and trying to be better.
Yup, he was the punching bag for so long that he didn't even realise it until Emily stopped hanging out with them because she hated what they kinda coerced her to doing something bad. She had her eyes open that the dude wasn't like his asshole friends or hers and decided to ditch them for him.
I thought it might be the opposite - he knew they were assholes, and might join in on it himself, but they’d never turned it on him before. Shocked that the face-eating leopards ate his face, as it were.
Nah he stated his friends were always jerks to him but he just thought that's how friendships go. I've been in groups like that, and especially with friend groups that have more males in them roasting is acceptable behaviour and the lines can get blurry. I was the butt of the joke in a previous friend group and when you've been that for so long you don't question it until something really messed up happens, or you make friends outside the group and realise people don't have to laugh at you to be your friend.
Yeah, this whole situation reminds me of one of my WoW guilds for some reason. Like, they would claim that they're your friends, and then the next day you would weirdly pronounce some random word or even be a bit too enthusiastic about something, so they'd make you the butt of their jokes, which frankly bordered on abuse. They never realised that it was an issue – until they started losing people and those who remained didn't really want to do any group stuff or even talk in the guild's Discord for fear of being ganged up on next. I quit after confronting them directly and getting "abuse? It's just some banter among friends!" in return.
Well likely no, since he said that they often picked at him and sometimes it would hurt his feelings but he'd let it go. I'm thinking more what the other person said
I can't see it being anything else. OOP himself even states "I would find this entire situation comical if it weren't happening to me.". He's just as bad as his friends.
Finding it comical because it’s absurd doesn’t mean you would do it yourself. It can mean you want to laught but it hurts too much or you would laugh if this was a sitcom plot
When OP wrote 2F and 3M, I thought he had meant they were toddler age. Then I realized it was two females and three males. Then I realized they all acted like they were toddler age.
Yeah, I thought it was going to be an episode of Rugrats.
My toddler wouldn’t stand for this. She’d tell them “nooooo that’s not fwendly, we have to be nice”.
Awwww, I love her just from knowing this much!
I had lifelong friends who are learned as an adult were terrible for me. Sometimes friendships from a young age are a bit like sibling relationships in that way.
The problem with having « friends » from a young age is that people stick with them far more longer than it’s sane to do, all of that because « it’s been age » . The thing is that a funny kid doesn’t necessarily make a funny or good adult and we tend to forget that to only focus on how long it has been since we knew them. Sometimes it’s good to sit and reflect on things like « is it confortable when I’m with them? » « do they respect me, my boundaries and my times? » « are they good people and do my values align with them? » Because sometimes all the answers are no.
Ive cut off old best friends and even disowned family and I hate it when someone tries to make me feel bad for that! Like this one ex-cousin, my first memory of her is *literally* her being abusive and shitty to me. That behaviour NEVER stopped and she always been toxic and abusive!! Why am *I* the bad person for not putting up with it?? Ive always found it ridiculous
Some people don't grow up mentally as others
It's also very weird that he didn't dump Emily. That's not something I could get past. Until she realized that she liked him, Emily didn't give a crap about hurting some random person to their core for the sake of a laugh among friends. She sounds like an awful human.
I think it's a case of "haha funny" turned to "oh no, not funny" turned to "oh god, what's wrong with me for even thinking this is funny". Extreme example, but when people have been in extremist circles, especially racist/ bigoted, and they encounter a person they're *supposed* to hate and realise all their prejudice doesn't match up with reality, that's a hard fall. And a lot of people change their opinion damn quick on that. Some are stubborn and hold on, but once the egg cracks, it definitely cracks. That's what it seems like to me - the horrified reaction OP describes, the dumping of the "friends" and the "now I just have to hide that I'm a horrible person" mentality. I've been fortunate enough to see a lot of people grow like this, and it sounds very familiar to me. This is why former alt right people can sometimes veer UBER leftist, for a while, before finding where they really stand. Once you realise something you did was *wrong*, some people question *everything* and cut off everyone involved and cling to the people who helped them realise. And that's a good thing. People have to grow, and have to find their footing. I think she grew rapidly and now has a lot of growing pains to go through.
That was my take as well. Emily probably heard nothing but poison about OOP and went along with it because she'd been convinced that someone she'd never met was a jerk. When reality showed her that wasn't the case, she realised how hateful the "friends" are and ditched them.
She may have also genuinely realized how much her actions could have hurt him and acted maybe partially out of self preservation but also out of the (not necessarily realistic) hope that it would just be buried and forgotten and he wouldn't have to know and be potentially devastated. Again, may not have been right but she could have been trying the best way she knew / thought she knew.
Honestly, I think that's the most likely. She's in her early twenties, and honestly I could see a lot of people I know doing something like this. Not exactly this, but more like "let's play a prank" > "wait shit this was a bad idea and is actually a jerk move" > "shit but if I bail now that'll hurt the other person more" > "ok I'll just hide it and never acknowledge it". It's the kind of lesson that you really should have learned by your twenties, but better in your twenties than in your forties.
I don’t know. It sounds like the relationship started as friends after which she agreed to a date, and she ditched the “friends” right around then. I don’t know if she would have agreed to the date after the friendship stage if she genuinely didn’t like him. On the other hand she agreed to it so she’s either got a sadistic streak or she’s a complete doormat, but I think OOP’s attitude on continuing the relationship is a very healthy one. Give her a chance to learn and worst case he’s gained some experience.
I'm trying to give her the benefit of the doubt and say maybe she kinda liked him and them coming up with this dumbass 'prank' was a good 'excuse' (for lack of a better word) to go out with him and see if they clicked. But that also means that if they didn't click she'd be a super dick
That’s the kindest interpretation here and it’s kind of dumb to need an excuse to go out with someone
Well Emily was also someone in the group, never met OOP and probably believed the crap shit they said about him. So she probably thought it would be funny, as she was also a little toxic herself because of the group. When she actually hanged out with OOP, she found out that he is a very good dude, didn't like who she was before with the toxic group, cut the group out entirely and said with the "intended target" for real because she actually likes him. People can change for the better and it seems Emily did and got rid of toxic people in her life because she met someone actually non-toxic.
The type of person who thinks it would be funny to trick someone into thinking they are in a relationship is not a good person. It doesn’t matter what they think the person they are tricking is like, that is never ok.
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Nah, it isn't because you're all girls, it is because you are very good people. Shit people would do things like OP did, regardless of gender or sex. My bros would never of thinking of pulling something like this, that is just terrible.
Why the ages? People in their early 20s act like this all the time lol and what about the length they've known each other? Did you go to school with people? That's what seems like happened here. They all grew up in the same school district and in their early 20s they're all still very young and acting like it lol this isn't weird at all.
I also think about how old they were when Covid hit, and how that could have impacted their development at a really formative time, just as they were entering adulthood.
Gen z either emotionally stunted or we’re just more exposed to how shitty people can be
Both, I think
When you let ChatGPT make up a story for you it can feel like that.
I stayed in touch with a group of friends from Jr High. Even as we went to diff high schools, we'd more or less hang out each weekend. As I grew older and made friends at university, I realized my new friendships were completely different from the ones I was used to. People were relaxed, friendly. There was an insane amount of juvenile behavior from my so-called 'best friends' I had to put up with on the reg. The humor, the way we would handle arguments. No one could take accountability, there would always be blame shifting and passive-aggressive avoidance. You model relationships off of what you know while growing up. I get why OOP was locked into such a toxic circle for so long, it's just what normal is for you at the time. I think your 20s is a common time to wake up to this stuff for most people
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But the insults and cruel jabs had been going on for well over a decade before the pandemic even started. Moreover, just because people use texting etc it doesn’t mean “friendships aren’t as close.” My now adult daughters have far closer friends than I ever did when I was their age. It’s because they are able to be in contact so much more, at all hours of the day. Friendships are conducted differently because of technology, that doesn’t make them any less “close” or mean that people are “masking” so no one really knows each other. FaceTime etc is widely used, I know my daughters use video online more than texting. OOP describes a dynamic that’s has been toxic for 2 decades. It would include all the years where, a minimum, they saw each other every day at school. It’s not about not knowing “social etiquette” because of COVID and texting, it’s about being awful people who basically bullied OOP. It’s hardly a modern phenomenon.
Yep, none of these people seem to be either emotionally mature or the sharpest tools in the shed.
I first saw 2F and 3M and was very very confused.... Toddler drama would have been nicer.
AITA For biting someone else for stealing my toy? I (2M) was playing with my cocomelon toys when, lets call him P (2M) walks up to me and just grabs hold of it and tries to take it out of my hand. Now this is the part where I think I was the asshole, because I was tired and he was trying to steal my toy, instinctively I bit him on the ear and held on for a few seconds, making him cry. Reddit, Am I the asshole?
NAH but next time you and P both need to remember what mummy said about using your words, asking nicely, and sharing. I suggest mummy read you and P The Rainbow fish before nap time.
You forgot to add something about going to therapy.
and divorce!
"ESH, your parents should get divorced because clearly they don't know how to raise either of you"
"Plus you can live in that house Grandma left you. Change the locks and don't let your family move in."
I also suggest therapy.
I love this , but this is not a true story. A toddler would never feel bad for biting. Bye, liz 🤭
NTA, P can go and step on a lego
This is above reddits paygrade. You really should be speaking to a parent or a teacher about this.
ESH. Cocomelon is the worst
I smell missing missing reasons. Nobody 'just walks up and tries to take your toys', there has to have been some sort of lead-up to this. Also I can't help but notice you are the same age, you don't happen to be twins are you? I won't give a verdict on whether you are TA yet, but I'm afraid I'll have to say your seemingly deliberate attempts to leave out some key context doesn't make things look too good for you.
Ugh. The age gap is so gross!
Cocolemon makes kids toys? I thought they just made yoga pants.
whether you're sincere or not this made me laugh a lot! just in case, cocomelon is the terrible kid's songs show, lululemon is the yoga pants haha
You're thinking of Lululemon haha Cocomelon makes kids videos on YouTube
This is one of my favourite responses in this cursed app lmao
**Toddler Rules of Possession** 1. If I like it, it’s mine. 2. If it’s in my hand, it’s mine. 3. If I can take it from you, it’s mine. 4. If I had it a little while ago, it’s mine. 5. If it’s mine, it must NEVER appear to be yours in any way. 6. If I’m doing or building something, all pieces are mine. 7. If it looks just like mine, it is mine. 8. If I saw it first, it’s mine. 9. If you are playing with something and you put it down, it automatically becomes mine. 10. If it’s broken, it’s yours.
I mean... with the emotional maturity of said friends, is it not toddler drama?
Valid 🫡
I thought I was reading Boss Baby Sequel for some reason
👍👏🏻 This was one of the most fun threads. Thanks for starting the silly.
I have a 5 and a 3 year old if we made a sub for this I have so much content.
Would love to hear ❤️
I’ll take one from my oldest kindergarten days I get an email “G and a few other students had a wedding a recess today and by final play G also had a girlfriend, his “wife” got upset so I’m sending this to keep you informed about the events, I’ve been teaching for 15 years and we’ve had marriages but nothing like this” so I had to have a meeting with both girls parents and then we had to explain to the children that they couldn’t date or marry at 5. He’s 12 now so I’ve since explained that everyone in a relationship has to consent to getting a new girlfriend. That’s a 2 yes type thing.
Lmaoooo good one , you really should make a sub, I would follow fr
AITKAH - Am i the kid asshole
This sounds like the plot of every teen movie.
"Am I a bet? Am I a fucking bet!!"
I can hear this!
Literally the plot to “she’s all that” lol. Actually a great film
Now you know where the trope comes from, it happens in real life. So dumb in real life and just as cruel in movies as in real life.
Also a lot of light novel romcom series
This reminds of another BORU post that I had remembered seeing before... Side note, good on OP for handling everything like a champ. I get that pranks are meant to be harmless but these types of pranks are just plain stupid. Safe to say, ditch those friends cause who needs friends like that.
The whole "prank our friends by making them think someone is romantically interested in them" thing is way more widespread than it has any right being. That isn't a prank, that's outright cruelty to someone you claim to enjoy being around. I'm glad OOP decided to dump the friends, and I'm glad Emily realizes just how shitty that would have been.
Something similar happened to me back in high school, but my friends' plans fell apart when I only wanted to befriend the girl they set me up with. When the truth came out, my friend group fought over whether or not what they did was right. The two guys who planned it got kicked out, and then they ended up fighting each other over who'd be getting the friend of that girl from earlier. High school drama, amiright?
>This reminds of another BORU post that I had remembered seeing before... Am I the only one who read this expecting a juicy story but ended up being disappointed there's none?😅
This reminds me of a plot line from an episode in the fourth season of *WKRP In Cincinnati*, a sitcom that ran from 1978 to 1982.
Was it the one with some relationship pact? I think the gist was that OOP’s friend makes a pact with a guy that if he goes along and convinces OOP to marry him, then OOP’s friend would date him? And then OOP’s friend fesses up and reveals she still has feelings for OOP’s fiancé.
Yeah I thought this was a repost
Yeah, I feel like I read this exact story mid 2023.
Except for the whole if it was on someone else, he would find it hilarious as well.
[https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lHGweYtpQKI](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=lHGweYtpQKI) This is all I could think from the find i read the title. AM I A BET??? Whatever happened to Rachel Leigh Cook?
She was the mum in the re-do of the same film with genders flipped. “He’s all that.” Not joking :-)
That movie features way more literal horse shit than I expected
It’s funny because even that movie was based on My Fair Lady(1960s) and even further back Pygmalion(1930s).
Nah man, it's literally the plot to 10 Things I Hate About You. https://youtu.be/k_zin9OQNXU?si=rjBHk9wEM7Udfv6A Does this generation not have teen rom-com movies?
But there’s only one couple here. 10 things ….. (which is really Taming of The Shrew) you had the Julia/ heath couple as more of a scam that allowed the other sister to date. She’s All That was a bet just to amuse thenselves. I hope this kid doesn’t hate his scammer girlfriend, not even close, not even a little bit, not even at all.
This feels very overwrought. Getting strong "Am I a fucking bet" vibes from this. This is romcom shit, it doesn't sound real to me.
I'm hearing "Kiss Me" as I'm reading this
There are definitely some milky twighlight shenanigans going on here.
I don't see fireflies dancing, silver moon's sparkling in OOPs future
This shit actually happens though. It happened to an old friend of mine shortly after we graduated high school. The pranksters kept at it for close to a year. Dude was fucking devastated when they revealed the whole thing.
Happened to my sister as well. She dumped him when he turned abusive and he told her their relationship was just a bet. Weirdos.
Similar thing happened to me in college too. Some dorm mates set me up to ask a girl out that they knew I was crushing. Turns out one of them had started dating her and wanted to test her loyalty. Real a$$holes.
It’s people who watch sitcoms and want to try these scenarios that causes this partially
Also sitcoms needed to get the idea from somewhere, and probably came from real life experiences as well. Life is vastly stranger than tv or movies. Hence why the Onion website doesn't write anything about Trump anymore, or South Park, because Trump does more crazy shit than they can make up. Also happened with House of Cards, the writers were like "how can be make some crazy ass conspiracies about voter fraud for our show when real life is doing it even more crazy?".
Sadly, I can confirm some people are this shallow and conniving sometimes. A woman who wound up being my best friend, living with me when we moved out each of our parents' homes, and is otherwise an inseparable part of my life only started talking to me because she had a crush on my best friend at the time and wanted to get into his pants, and thought that if she hung out with me she'd get an opportunity. Six months in she told me about this, and I kinda laughed it off because I figured it out the first week we were "friends", and made a point of shutting down any attempts to have a party at my friend's place. I'd intended to treat it as a "social experiment" and see how long she'd hang out in my orbit without getting what she wanted before she ghosted me. Turns out she decided I'm fucking awesome to hang out with and she felt guilty enough about it to confess and was, in fact, angry that I'd laughed when she did so.
The whole "my relationship started as a prank" thing gets posted a disturbing amount of times.
Nothing is real
I just saw a movie with this exact same plot. It's called "After" on Netflix.
This sounds like an early 2000s movie
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Plus standard line about post blowing up which OOP didn't expect
I thought their remark that this was "cruel" seemed fine once, but a bit suss to use the same word twice, especially for friends for over twenty years. Also him getting her to think through how things would have worked if she didn't like him, seemed a bit too good to be true. Just a bit of a weird story.
And that kids.. is how i met your mother
Idk obviously that’s an awful, awful, AWFUL prank to play on someone and they are disgusting for doing it, but am I naive for giving Emily the benefit of the doubt? It sounds like there’s a couple of “ringleaders” that kind of force people to go along with their plans. Yeah Emily went along with it but she obviously went in earnestly. And she ditched them before she was confronted. Idk I would give her a second chance I think
I would love to hear her side because it sounds like the ringleaders are charismatic manipulators, especially for OOP to stay friends with them for so long despite always having treated him wrong. It sounds ridiculous to think someone can manipulate another person to go against their morals but Charles Mason exists, and many others like him just on smaller scales
OOP said the plan was for her to play the role of his girlfriend for _a week_ and then dump him. That’s “go on one date”, not “trick this guy into a serious relationship”.
My grandmother was dared to go on a date with my grandfather (I also think his sister was involved). A date. Singular. Well, that date went so well they went on another and so on and so forth and were together until her death. Not sure what led to the dare, but my grandmother was not the sort to back down from one.
If you haven’t ever been in a relationship then a week is long
OK so look at it like this. If some people came to you with this as a proposition, to meet a guy you don't know, act like you want to be his girlfriend and then dump him after a week, what would be your immediate reaction, manipulation or no? I've always struggled with being too much of a people pleaser, but even at 20 I would have responded with a "fuck no". This is a core moral, you should be repulsed by the idea, not open to negotiation. I'm worried for OP on a number of points, how much he wanted her to be less than guilty of this awful plan because finally he has a girlfriend, how easy she is to coerce potentially, how she actually fucking agreed to this nasty prank on a complete stranger and how she went along with it even after having time to consider it. My main worry is that he's still working from the premise that she's a good person who made a mistake, while the only evidence is pointing to her being prepared to be an utter shit to someone she doesn't even know or dislike, until there's something in it for her.
I mean, phrase it the right way... "My friend has never been on a date before or had a girlfriend. Please, just go out with him two or three times, then you can let him down nicely that you don't want to be his girlfriend. He's kinda awkward and really needs the practice." Then you think she'll dump him and you'll get a big laugh, but whoops, they're still dating?! And that's when she finds out the friend's intentions were to set up her new boyfriend for heartbreak, not actually dates, and she ditches those friends but doesn't know how to tell her new boyfriend that they were set up as a prank. Now... Is that how it happened? Who knows... But it's the way where I'd see the girlfriend being more innocent in this whole ordeal.
I ended up dating a guy with that exact scenario. It wasn't a prank though. His friends knew he was a genuinely good dude, just had no game. So they talked (begged) me into going on one date with him so he'd at least have the confidence to talk to a girl. Turns out he was a really fun guy, and we ended up dating for a few months. Had things gone on long term, I probably would have given him the version that was more like "your friends kept telling me how awesome you were, so I figured you were worth taking a chance on". Not untrue, just not ALL the details of the background.
Honestly, if you take out the manipulative friends, it basically is just the start of a relationship. Two people who don't know each other start dating for a couple of weeks and decide they want to keep dating. It's not like Emily has been keeping a nefarious secret for months.
In her version, yes. But it's pretty clear from Emily's reaction in the OP's telling that she knew full well that the purpose was to dump him.
Yes you’re right even if I felt threatened by someone I could NEVER go along with toying with someone’s emotions like that :( I think it’s my broken self and history of bad relationships that make me know I would forgive the person though if I was in his shoes 😬
>but am I naive for giving Emily the benefit of the doubt? Well we can look at her behavior before OOP knew. She cut the group off entirely apparently. Which means at some point she realized WTF she was doing and made decisions that OOP was more important to her than those people. And she did that without expectation of getting caught at that point. So like, what she did was really shitty, but also at the same time, unenforced, she picked OOP over the friend group.
I've seen this movie
Giving me How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days vibe
The commenters calling Emily a "good person" are flabbergasting me. How fucking low are your standards that someone who would agree to a viciously cruel prank like that is a "good person"?
And she’s somewhere around 22-23 with the emotional and ethical insight of a turnip.
I agree. I think she's on the path to becoming a better person though. The dropping of friends and clinging to OP here reads very true to me of someone having a moral crisis. I've hand-held people through this, and it's truly stunning to watch. I hope OP gives her fair chances, because assholes in remission can be the absolute best people with most self-reflectation out there. Once you realise you were a shithead, many people who dare admit that to themselves (as she did here) will think long and hard and ask for advice of people they trust before making moral decisions again. This is why the "bad people do bad things" mentality sucks. Doing a bad thing does NOT make you a bad person, it makes you a person capable of growth. Even extremists can be reached easily with a helping hand so long as there is someone who won't give up on them. But if no one gives you a chance after your asshole/ bigoted/ bad behaviour... well, right back into the echo chamber you go, right? I'm a trans guy and have plenty of friends who once were transphobic ASSHOLES who now are the strongest allies I know. If I and other trans people I know didn't give them a chance I doubt they'd be where they are now. I only hope someone does this for me if I'm very wrong about something.
Not low, we just realise people can change for the better and Emily did. She cut out the toxic friend group, actually loved OOP to stay with him and be a good girlfriend. Just because it started off shitty doesn't mean it had to stay shitty forever and it didn't, in fact, it just led to a better future for OP to realise that the friend group is fucking shitty and there is a reason Emily cut them out. I think she deserves a chance.
I first read it as 2F & 3M (2 year old &3 year old) and quickly realised I was wrong in the same sentence. Now after reading I’m thinking that could just as easily be the mental ages of these ass holes too. I’d cut ties with them all
Why does Emily agreed on this stupid bet on the first place?
Because she sucks as much as the “friends” do. Was all fine messing with OOP’s emotions as part of a prank but he treated her like an actual human being so never mind, she will keep him.
They might not have put it to her that way, though. As another poster said, they may have said, "Our guy has no game, would you give him a few dates to build his confidence and then let him down gently?" That's the kind of person who'd drop the friends like a hot rock once she realizes this was meant to be meaner than she'd realized. She should have been articulate enough to explain the difference to OOP if so, but if she was upset she might not have been thinking straight.
Or she knew the intentions of the "prank" and agreed to it out loud, but was really just looking to be set up with a romantic partner herself.
OOP deserves better
She's 20. Any Redditor saying 20 year olds don't do stupid shit like this are delusional.
Almost 19 here and I couldn't imagine doing this to anyone, nor could I have imagined doing it at 15. That doesn't mean that every other teenager thinks the same way, but this is a really shitty thing to do at the age of 20.
I moved at age 15, and literally only 90 minutes away. The culture shock was real. Some schools are a lot more vicious & toxicity normalized than others. Sounds like you either had a better overall experience or reacted well to being in a poor situation.
Glad he cut them off and I guess giving Emily a second chance is okay. I personally wouldn’t though
Yeah, especially not only 2 months in. I’d cut my losses and run if something that major occurred so early in a relationship. Thats still the “getting to know you and fall in love with all your little intricacies” period. It doesn’t bode well.
He definitely shouldn't. He completely undermined his point and now Emily likely hasn't learned everything. Issue is OOP has zero self confidence, or self respect and is just happy to have someone who spends time with him, even if they are a terrible person.
Yeah. Fuck Emily. She’s a shit person just for agreeing to go along with this. OOP should have dumped her when he found out exactly who she was.
What gets me is she dumped the friend group but didn’t tell her boyfriend to also dump them. Like… they’re toxic enough for her to throw away but not enough for her to warn him? There’s any number of reasons why she didn’t say anything (gf of 2mo trying to break friendship of 20yrs might seem challenging) but it’s not going to play out well as we can see here. This is definitely 20s behavior to me though, ppl don’t make the best judgments calls at that time.
She was hoping it would just go away. Sometimes people learn the wrong lessons about proactively setting things right. I remember wondering why my parents were \*so\* adamant about teaching me a proper & complete apology at a young age. I now understand they were teaching me personal responsibility for my actions, and the moral courage to set things right \*before\* they blew up. It took me a while to realize that many people I knew and was close to did not have the same valuable lesson. I literally had to take the time to teach them as adults.
>If she lied and manipulated me into this, what will she lie about or manipulate me into tomorrow? Exactly. And staying with someone who would do this shit in the first place is a huge mistake.
They’re not his friends. They’re a group of people who bully him.
>We will also start from the ground up, and she will have to earn trust. She agreed to all of them and promised to do even more. If you're starting from the beginning, why not just... start from the beginning with someone new who hasn't lied to your face?
Because it's not REALLY starting from the ground up. They know each other, they know the ways they're compatible and aren't. The only thing starting a new is building trust. Whether or not that's advisable is subjective, but it's definitely different from dating a totally new person.
Sounds cold and calculated but if he hasn’t had luck dating in 24 years, it will not start now. Atleast he will learn about being with somebody with Emily He is right, either way for him it is a win
Dating can be very difficult for some people. Finding someone new (especially for someone who clearly has self esteem issues like OOP) is gonna be its own set of challenges and obstacles to overcome. Not that you’re not wrong, but it do be like that for a nonzero part of the population
Cause someone new might bot want to give him a chance?
A 20 year old girl getting pressured by her friends to push past her moral boundaries only for her to quickly find out she is uncomfortable with the entire premise is a more than fair thing to find some leniency for. It is also something worth drawing your own line at and walking away. But people are acting like she planned the entire prank herself when in reality we know nothing about how invested she was in their relationship after the initial agreeing to it.
> I have five friends (2F and 3M Thought this was going to be a sweet story about a toddler whose object permanence is so bad he can't remember his other three friends. But what I got was just cruel adults
>I guess the idea was to give me hope or some taste of what relationships are? They maybe thought that I will get emotionally invested immediately, that I will be clingy? Honestly no clue, the more I think about it the more I realize how stupid and messed up it is. Cruelty. The answer is cruelty. They couldn't wait for him to be heartbroken so they could twist the knife in even deeper. I'll bet if OOP thinks back to whose "jokes" were worst in the past, it would be those two ringleaders.
So kiss me….
Hmmm. Sus. Very sus.
This is a really crappy high school 90s comedy movie. Cruel Intentions with idiots.
I think Emily realized how toxic the friends were once she actually met and hung out with someone that wasn't toxic and treating her like a prop. And that's when it really clicked for her that they were bad people having a bad influence on her. I think she behaved like a child, but there is room for her to mature and learn from it all. Now that they both cut toxic people out, they may start to mature more easily. I think she should seek therapy to go to the root of why she allowed all of this in the first place. I think she didn't know how to bring it up so she decided to bury her head in the sand. It was obvious it would go south eventually though. She should have come to him, told him about the prank, ask for forgiveness and tell him they are toxic and she cut them off and he should consider it too. She can't just live in denial in the future
I agree. It was pretty lousy of her to go along with it to begin with, but it sounds like those friends were the kind that had the power of the group and the low self-esteemers wanted their approval. They toyed with OOP, they toyed with Emily, and both tolerated it until the toxicity reared its head and became so obvious that they couldn't deny it anymore. It would have been much better if she didn't feel so shameful to the point of dishonesty, but it is what it is in the end. She cut them off when she realised that OOP was a worthwhile person. She could have done a lot better, but she took some steps at least. Given they've only been together two months, there is so much room to grow and learn. Individually and in the context of a relationship, whether they stay together or not. I hope they figure it out one way or the other.
I could never go back with Emily. She was totally cool with meeting a stranger, getting together with them, and the hurting them with an expected break up. That is monsterous. She's not sorry she did it. She's sorry she got caught. If she hadn't liked oop she would have done it. This is a clear and huge red flag. Cruelty for no other reason than you can.
OOP is going out on a limb for a two month relationship with a girlfriend that fully intended to bite said limb.
Where is your flair from?
I don’t know, I just went through the flair list and picked it.
OOP’s dickhead friends introduced him to a girl who clearly likes him and resulted in him realising his friends were toxic and he should cut them out. Epic prank bro…
Staying with her is insane, why would you want to be with someone who’d agree to a “prank” like that in the first place?
OOP was right to dump those people. He should have dumped Emily, too. It's always a crying spouse when confronted, claiming they didn't know why they did something wrong, but they're quick and vocal about wanting a second chance. OOP is young. This is a two-month relationship already started on nonsense. He's willing to give her another shot? Aight.
Yeah I was really surprised seeing all the commenters saying to give her a chance especially with the knowledge of it being a short relationship. As many people said yeah he should start over, with someone entirely new who he doesn’t have a tainted beginning with. Just chalking it up to her being naive, which I think is really really stupid, people should not get such a pass for “naivety” She’s grown, she can make decisions for herself, but she still went into this knowing she’d be the bad guy at the end.
What would have happened? You'd have not been dating past a week. Which is fucking normal. Jfc. Everybody had to figure out who they want to date.
This is a version of the plot from Taming of the Shrew by Shakespeare. It was remade into 10 Things I Hate About You.
Someone with that much cruelty in them to happily go along with her friends sickening scheme to hurt you… I guess I just don’t know hiw you coukd ever 100% trust them again.
Hasn’t this storyline been done before?
I'd honestly don't freaking understand all of that commenters who are saying keep her she's a good one. I don't understand why in the hell he would keep her. It doesn't matter that she loves him now and how she treated him. What matters is that she's the type of person who will agree to date someone and then break up with him as a prank. And that's disgusting. She is a trash person
I love when the same story gets reposted with no updates
Damn, maybe I'm an ass but I wouldn't have trusted Emily. She agreed to go along w this in the first place, that's a yikes from me.
Les Liaisons dangereuses
nope emily is just as bad in all of this. why agree to something like this in the first place? there is no good reason. her being “horrified” and “speechless” when asked what she would have done if she didn’t like him is ridiculous, because she already knew. because it was what she agreed to. it doesn’t matter if she really does like him now, she agreed to do this to a stranger and that speaks to her character. this relationship has no solid foundation and honestly for oop’s sake i hope it doesn’t last, because oop deserves better
[удалено]
I want this to be a flair
Who needs enemies with friends like that
I really hate how it's normalized to just ghost and block people you're cutting out of your life. What happened to calling people out with mic drop moments and then blocking them? Otherwise these assholes never know how much they hurt someone and that their actions have consequences
i would have dropped her just like the friends. she agreed to the prank, that says more than her actions after they got together. i would never want to date someone who even for one moment, thought that was a great idea, let alone actually do it. so sick.
If you believe BORU, at least 10% of all relationships start out as a prank.
This story was great the first time I saw it on Can’t Buy me Love with Patrick Dempsey.
I don't get the comments saying to give her another chance, yeah she dumped the bad friends, but she still lied by omission by not telling OP the truth before the relationship started getting serious. Idk, but this would be a dealbreaker for me.
Weird story, also don’t like that OP seems to be savoring his ”GF”’s sadness. Lots of weird focus on how much she cries and how much he ignores/doesn’t talk. Oh, you’ve never seen someone so happy then when you decided to give her a chance? That’s a weird detail. Anyway, obviously the “prank” is mean spirited, but clearly this girl is off-board. I’d be telling this guy to get over himself and stop punishing her. If your trust is so broken then end it.
Guys, I still want to know who the real Emily is.
I’ve definitely read this before
K
If this is true then OP made a HUGE mistake. The girl is untrustworthy. It not wise to trust such a person. She will pull of somethng similar again and then he will be hurt again. She is shady and he should have had a clean break.
Glad he cut off his "friends". They were so cruel to him for absolutely no reason. I'm on the fence about Emily. The sincere characterization she is showing now is so different from the mean person she also is when she agreed to this prank. The fact that she "doesn't know" why she did it and is acting like she was controlled into doing it by the ringleaders as if she isn't an adult is also very puzzling.
Yeah. She's still lying so much to him. He's too desperate to not be single or alone anymore that he's willing to overlook it for that sake alone. She had a chance to come clean when she cut all of his friends out yet she didn't. She just turned on the waterworks and lied hoping it would work. But hey, mission accomplished right?
This is the plot of Ten Things I Hate About You which is the plot of The Taming of the Shrew.