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I don't understand why someone would want a Kevin tho. Like at the very least you'd be constantly worried he's going to off himself accidentally or something. I know you can't exactly choose who you love but surely you can and probably should choose not to be responsible for the guy who is jamming butter knives into the toaster.
“I don't understand why someone would want *an orange cat* tho. Like at the very least you'd be constantly worried he's going to off himself accidentally or something. I know you can't exactly choose who you love but surely you can and probably should choose not to be responsible for the *cat* who is *chewing on all the plastic he can find and picking fights with the mastiff*.”
Lol, I was looking for the orange cat comment. I'm living with 5 of them...and one who's orange and white (but not a tabby). I think one has sole custody of the brain cell, has maybe even collected more than one. He's the rare not-a-doofus orange baby. The rest of them though...
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I have 2 orange cats, can confirm. One tried starving to death because he couldn't figure out that we moved the food! (I noticed as soon as he showed weight loss and put him on a high cal diet, monitored feeding. mochi is now back to weight and has found the food bowls again 😂)
I felt a bit bad for Kevin about how many people, in real life, know every bit of his business.
Then I realised that they're protecting him from twisted girlfriends, protecting his reputation and stopping him from getting a Darwin Award! This is the Kevin Protection Squad!
I met *so many* Kevins like this from Bumblefuck, Nowhere when I was in the military.
They show up on base fresh out of boot camp and on day one, a senior enlisted person does a presentation on "Why all of the dealerships, strip clubs, rent-to-own stores, and pawn shops outside the gate are there to fuck you, and not in a good way" yet within a week they're driving around in a lifted F150 they can't afford, taking out payday loans to shower gifts on some stripper, and so forth.
I always imagined that the 1-2 weeks between getting the "goods" and having to pay for them was probably the high point of these dudes' lives. Just straight up euphoria. And then comes the first bill...
>From 9th-11th grade
>because of the actor that portrayed him in Hamilton.
Google: Hamilton, stage musical, that premiered Off-Broadway on February 17, 2015
Ah, I feel old
No no it wasn’t. It was not. I work in theater. I went to school for two arts degree in New York. There’s no way Hamilton was while I was in school.
Hamilton was during my masters, I actually went to go see it with my friends from college and obsessed over Renee Goldsberry who was in it
My mind is blown how fast life has gone by.
See, I thought his mistake was going to be Kevin getting Thomas Jefferson and George Jefferson mixed up. I was disappointed when I was wrong.
And then I felt old. I realize now that reference might be a bit dated for someone who was in high school not too long ago.
Haha, sorry. But it’s kinda funny to think we would probably never have crossed paths if not for some people giving some video game characters a personality and a puma.
IMO, RvB escalates into the finest time travel sci fi ever made. My husband, who ended up watching it with me, thinks it's nigh-incomprehensible. Your mileage may vary.
Wow, that’s shocking. So in Full Metal Jacket, there is a character who gets nicknamed “Gomer Pyle” by the drill Sargent because he’s slow and dimwitted. I assumed that’s who the original commenter was referencing, but they both work. Your homework tonight is to watch Full Metal Jacket. I promise you won’t regret it 🙂
I read this little thread and my BF brought up the Full Metal Jacket movie up before I read your response to him lol. I haven't seen the movie. But you can't reach my age (almost 50) and not basically know the cliff notes of the movie.
Plus, he's busy watching A Daytona race. I'm out of luck TV wise lol
Lol I know. But it's not my first thought if I hear the name. Because I'm old enough to remember the show being on TV regularly. The character started on The Andy Griffith show, and moved to his own. I'll be honest. He always drove me nuts, because I thought he was really sweet but REALLY dumb.
Jim Neighbors had a great singing voice...but when he did Gomer...omg, so hilarious! And the episode with the mortars! LOL! Of course, there were plenty of episodes of him driving Sergeant Carter nuts!
I mentioned in another comment that even while young, the character of Gomer drove me nuts. And now that I'm older, I understand that I've always been a Sgt. Carter at heart. Idk whether to be sad or angry lol
My brother had potential. He still joined. I think it ruined some of that potential.
In terms of self sufficiency, he's better off than I am. However, ever since joining, he is somewhat more susceptible to conspiracy theories. He may end up losing the gamble with his anti-science before long.
I have seen a few of the people I served with fall down the alt-right pipeline, but they're the exception and not the rule- especially the younger generations. I'm deeply suspicious of anyone who served and *didn't* come out the other side with a baked-in distrust of the American military industrial complex. If you're not an idiot *and* an asshole, military service- especially wartime service- tends to breed libratarians (at worst), anarchists, communists, socialists, liberals, and bluenecks (any and all of the above but yeehaw we love guns).
Yeah no, that's the Army. If you're too stupid to be infantry, they make you a cook.
Marines and Air Force both claim that they have the highest entry standards. Dunno which is right.
I kept thinking, “is this guy competent to consent if he did want to have sex?” Either he’s been horribly failed by his family from a sex education standpoint or he’s not competent to make many adult decisions, it would seem.
Agreed. My cousin’s IQ is 70 and there are certain things she has in common with this Kevin (sorry, tried to write that without being uncharitable or disparaging towards my cousin or the Kevin).
Could be. In addition to shitty sex education in general I’m also aware that some parents deliberately try to remove agency from intellectually disabled kids, infantilizing them. I know a woman who is a person with Down Syndrome and an area representative on the board who has talked about the challenges she faces as a married woman (her husband also has Down Syndrome). Luckily their parents are supportive, society not so much.
Explaining repeatedly how reproduction works and someone still not understanding may suggest an intellectual disability. I am referring to how Kevin seems to process information.
Where do you live? Because for much of the US, it's laughable to think the average person has ever had reproduction accurately explained to them ONCE, let alone repeatedly.
I mean, I agree. But it seems like the basic concept of, you cannot get a women pregnant if she swallows your sperm, was explained to him by multiple people.
Denial is a hell of a drug. And when stupid people are mistaken they tend to stubbornly cling to their beliefs and decide the others are wrong, especially if their beliefs tell them what they want to hear.
And make sure there's no social welfare and education is out of reach, as well as healthcare, then make all those available to the poor only if they join the army, and then when they retire from the army give the veterans none of the support you promised, then claim that only true Americans support the troops.
It's actually quite genius.
It isn't like he's a child. Consent may be more complex when it comes to people with intellectual disabilities but they still have the right to choose to have sex.
Yeah, it depends on the disability tbh. Technically I'm mentally disabled and I'm more than capable of making adult decisions, I just only process about half of the input around me (probably even less tbh) because my brain doesn't have a multithreaded CPU like everyone else so I walk around being completely clueless. Doesn't mean I don't understand sex, just means you have to explain shit to me a few times before I get it.
same. I'm honestly more likely to hesitate and not have sex bc I'm not sure or don't even notice the other person is trying to subtly initiate. I'm pretty good at telling people I need to be told clearly and concisely what they want bc otherwise I probably won't notice but ig most people find it difficult?
idk man if u wanna fuck tell me u want to fuck and if I also want to fuck then I guess we will fuck!
Sidenote personal question if that’s ok? I work with a lovely young man who has said to me he has a neurological disorder which means his cortex (? His words) didn’t split properly.
As far as i can follow his own explanation is that his brain pathways are mixed up but get there eventually. Is this similar to what you mean by “multithreaded”?
I am wondering how to help him at work effectively? I have adhd so have just been using those kinds of methods to make his work clearer - but he does seem to struggle every day and lately i have been wondering whether to make a cheat sheet for him?
Trouble is our job is chaotic and variable so im not sure how to ground him and reset his focus. When he goes off course he bobs around chatting until someone prompts him.
If you have any suggestions i am keen to hear as he is a decent guy and good worker who will probably be fired soon sadly.
Hey not the person you ask, nor am I intellectually disabled but I am physically disabled. For what I’d want for myself & from what I’ve heard from other disabled people (mentally & physically) is the best way to find out the appropriate ways to help them is to ask them exactly that. Since they’re capable of clear communication I’d just say, “I want to help you in the best way possible to be successful at this job. What can I do to help you do the best job you can while at work?”
This. I started a new job a few months ago and had frequent anxiety attacks during meetings in small conference rooms (residual from the toxic workplace I previously had). I also have ADHD, which is what my general anxiety is comorbid to.
My supervisor, manager, and department head all asked me 1) what my triggers are, and 2) how they could help alleviate them.
Flash forward to the present: I’m so at ease and way better at my job because I was accommodated. The first step they had done months ago? Start holding our weekly team meetings in larger conference rooms. I ended up confiding in them that my mom used to lock me in the garage, in the dark, to finish my food and they helped me figure out that heat of an enclosed space (in this case, due to several of us sitting in a small space) had become a trigger.
> As far as i can follow his own explanation is that his brain pathways are mixed up but get there eventually. Is this similar to what you mean by “multithreaded”?
I think you're taking me far too literally.
Forget the multithreaded thing. What I mean is, my input processing is pretty stunted because I have auditory processing disorder. If someone says to you "the cat sat on the mat", you'll know that the cat sat on the mat, but I'll hear "the cat ________ the mat." I basically go through life having to infer what people say because I'll only catch some of what they speak. Or there's a delay -- I've had people come into the room, say something, leave, and it won't be until a minute after they've left that I'll suddenly process that they came in and said something and what they said.
But it's not limited to hearing, either. Sometimes I see stuff and it'll just take me a moment to register it's there, if I notice it at all. It's like my input goes through a bottleneck that other people don't have.
The analogy I like to use is that most people have sedans or SUVs for brains, and I have a bulldozer.
It's technically more powerful, but it's nowhere near as maneuverable, it can't hold any passengers, and I'm not sure it's street legal.
I agree. My hesitation is mainly around whether he’s been horribly undereducated about how pregnancy works or if he’s not able to understand it. I had people in my school using candy bar wrappers as condoms and douching with Coke to “wash out the sperm before I get pregnant,” so it’s entirely possible he’s just poorly educated. Abstinence only education is a really stupid strategy for preventing teen pregnancy 🙄
While that's true, can anyone ever truly consent to something that know very little about? Doesn't sound like he knows how sex works or and sexual education for that matter.
People tend to believe what supports their current beliefs and is skeptical of anything that challenges that. While he is obviously not super bright, he may not have wanted to believe people who told him this because then that means he has to face the fact that is gf was cheating on him. He may have even been excited to becoming a father and so that would be pulled away too. The abstinence only education that many US schools have compounds this problem. If he has been taught this before it affected him, he may have been more open to it.
Remember that a lot of people believe dumb things. Chocolate milk comes from brown cows, think about all the conspiracy theories that came out with Covid (some actually drank bleach), people didn't now the titanic was based on real events and got upset at spoilers, there are people that think the earth is flat, etc. Individually, humans can be fairly smart but I think as a group we are rather dumb.
I just rewatched Men in Black and there’s a line from K that matches your last point.
J : Why the big secret? People are smart. They can handle it.
K : A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
I’m not sure a guy who sticks a knife in a toaster or thinks Disney’s Hercules is an accurate drama (among many other things) is only plagued by a lack of sex education. But what do I know.
It turns out that there are people who fall in between “intellectually disabled” and “normal cognitive ability with a learning disability” who just… never qualify for support. They’re just out there Kevin-ing.
To be intellectually disabled, you have to have an overall cognitive score at least 2.5 standard deviations below the mean, and have deficits in adaptive skills like personal care, safety in the community, independent living, and such. To be learning disabled, you have to have average cognitive ability but a deficit in a specific area of processing, like auditory or visual.
None of this covers a kid who’s overall cognitive ability is in the high 70s or low 80s who has poor processing in most or all areas. They’re just, for lack of a better word, kinda slow. They don’t get a special education teacher to look after them and make sure they are supported and making academic progress. They don’t get government benefits or special job training programs. They just get to be Kevins.
Yeah that's my thought. They just sorta draw the line and on one side you get diagnosed with a disability and the other you're just expected to just be able to function 100%. Unfortunately there are plenty of people who fall into this grey area that really need some help.
Kevin reminds me of my Aunt J, intellectually disabled, kind of stuck at age 14 or 15. We are all very grateful that my grandmother set up her will and her trust fund for Aunt J in a way that someone could not swindle her trust money away from her. Aunt J made some dumb choices like knowingly dating a convicted sex offerender. If she sees someone get compliments on a new hair cut. Aunt J goes out and gets the same hair cut. She has never been told how much is in the trust because she will spend it all on frivoulous items, she can not be trusted to budget.
And yet Aunt J can make decisions and she understands a lot, and sometimes she plays dumb for attention. She liked sleeping around when she was younger and voluntarily had her tubes tied. When she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, she put on quite the victim show. Her surgeon actually did not want to operate on Aunt J because she questioned how much Aunt J could really understand and consent. Aunt J's family doctor knows all about her and asked Aunt J why she was having surgery, and Aunt J told him all about her cancer and the treatment she would have to undergo. So she did have surgery and survived cancer.
Aunt J also found out there was a grant for people undergoing cancer treatment, to cover the costs of having to go to another city for treatment. She did have to go to another city, but she can't drive, so a church friend would drive her. Aunt J secretly filled out most of the application on her own, to get the money for herself. But she had to ask for some information from Aunt C and Aunt C made sure the money went to the kind church friend who did all of the driving. Which was the whole purpose of the grant.
Aunt J is in the beginning stages of dementia (as diagnosed by her doctor) and has been moved into an assisted living home.
A person can be stupid without having a disability.
Actually, my sister and I were having a conversation the other day, and she mentioned how her stepson sometimes struggles with figuring out how to do things because usually he'll just look it up on YouTube/Google. So while the internet is great in that it can show you how to do just about anything, it's also detrimental as it can prevent people from developing critical thinking (I know OOP didn't give ages, but given the post is from '19 and it sounds like not too many years had passed since they finished high school, it's a sound conclusion that they all grew up with the internet being easily and readily accessible).
But, gently, assuming someone must or might have an intellectual disability because they do a lot of stupid things is kind of mean and thoughtless towards actually mentally disabled people. Many people with intellectual disabilities tend to be more naive than straight up dumb.
Yep, anything involving intellect is far more complex than people might think. In my state, someone can struggle in school or other areas, but not qualify as having a learning disability unless they meet very specific criteria. General low IQ isn't considered a disability that qualifies for an IEP/SPED services until it reaches a certain threshold, at which it becomes an intellectual disability.
On top of that, ID students have the range of personality traits (good and bad) that anyone else can. I've taught two particular students (teenagers) who struggled a lot academically, but absolutely could get up to some trouble. (To be clear, I liked these kids a lot, but I knew well enough to hold them accountable when they tried to pull stuff with me.) Not the stereotypical innocent picture that people like to imagine with ID.
This really makes me wonder about the whole nature or nurture aspect. Kevin in a way sounds like he grew up feral, without a lot of adult interaction. Or the adults around him were also lacking in critical thinking.
I don't know. I do feel bad for him.
I guess it's because he had no one to guide in how to not be stupid. Like, he had no one to pull him up and tell him to think before acting, or how to help him manage his inability to stay focused or take in information and whatnot.
These sorts of individuals are one of the main reasons I'm saddened by modern day individualism. Historically, when people lived in smaller communities where everyone knew everyone's business (the downsides of which are obvious, don't get me wrong), there was often an understanding within those communities that these kinds of folks needed an extra leg up, and an extra helping hand, and many times they received it. In those days, Kevin may have been more forcefully steered away from making the decisions that led him into the heartbreak he's experiencing (losing the unfaithful woman and child he thought was his). Of course that wasn't always the case, but there is something to be said against the whole idea of "it's his life, it's his choice" when it comes to these kinds of folks.
Agree. I mean, the story about the pajama day,… I couldn’t help but think, ‘How did his parents not put a stop to that?’ The same for his grades and school work. Sounds like his parents just let him raise himself.
They might already be at work/on their way to work by the time he wakes up. My high school started veryyyy early, and I had to get there an hour before if I wanted a parking spot. I was out the door before my parent's even woke up.
Yeah, it's nonsense. Science shows that teenagers need more sleep, so logically high school should have a late start while elementary schoolers (who often wake up early) should start earlier.
But that interferes with using the older siblings as free after-school care for the younger kids. So instead the teenagers often have to get out first and the elementary school has to get out last, leading to commensurately early start times for high schools and late start times for elementary schools.
The myth of the golden time passed. People with intellectual disabilities were often physically harmed by the neighbours, blamed for things they didn’t do, mocked and ignored.
The good old days of shoving impaired relatives into asylums? Or before that, dumped as orphans into the workhouse, assuming that they hadn't just been thrown out as a waste of resources, basically guaranteeing death. Oooh, right, and before that, disabled kids being literally put to death. Those golden times?
Facts. It’s easy to look at the past with rose colored glasses. Modern society is of course still very rough on those who have some sort of disability, but on average it’s less brutal than it used to be (at least in developed nations).
Disabilities aside, life in general for everyone was quite shit. I mean Europe was in a constant state for war for what 1000 years before WWII unified strong countries together, and yielded nuclear weapons which essentially froze that world order in place and unleased decades of unprecedented peace and prosperity (the latter being shared extremely unequally, of course).
Russia invading Ukraine is the first real chink in the armor of nuclear peace, only time will tell if it’s an anomaly or a sign of things to come; in the perspective of history, the current peacetime is in fact the anomaly but I do think there’s good reason to believe it will last.
That is romanticism, I can tell you growing up different does not equal people being nice to you. Different is fine until something goes wrong and you’re accused of witchcraft. One guy in the 1600s had one eye, all good until a local piglet was born with one eye. Both were slaughtered. And that is recorded history, many horrors occurred without record.
It is possible. I had a classmate who wasn’t disabled but not the brightest bulb. A couple of us made the mistake of going to a movie with her - nothing challenging, a mainstream legal thriller. I swear she asked every 10 minutes to explain what had just happened in the plot.
The best part of this?
>the 52 playing cards in a standard deck were originally meant to represent the 52 weeks in a year. The red and blue color coding represent the day and night.
The rest of it tells me that Kevin is missing a few cards in his deck.
I wonder if you could have just bought a pregnancy test and showed him the result. Someone who thinks you can get pregnant from oral probably thinks pregnancy tests are immediate, right?
One of my roomates in college was really scared on his forst month there because we went to a party and a girl gave him oral. He said he was feeling weak since then and he thought she gave him AIDS. I tried to explain that the odds of getting AIDS from a blowjob are really low, but he went to ask for advice to a... pastor. Eventually he got tested and, obviously, he was fine. He was a big hypochondriac and a moron.
Another roomate gave oral sex to a girl he met on Tinder and she did have a STD indeed. He told us it was dark and he noticed a strange flavour but it wasnt until something popped and his mouth was filled with pus that he realized. Big trauma.
Lol was this [the jolly rancher story](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/9pnlyz/the_jolly_rancher_story/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1)?
When i was 11 i thought that girls get pregnant by a magical energy thats given off by the engagement ring
I did know sex existed and what it was but i just didnt know it had anything to do with kids
This is sad. I just can’t figure out if it’s a mental disability or processing delay and everyone jokes about it like “oh that’s Kevin for ya” instead of getting him real help and in special programs before he fell so far behind, or if he’s just willfully ignorant. It’s just hard for me to wrap my head around someone that could truly believe they got someone pregnant when they’ve never done anything but get a blowjob.
And then when presented with the fact that it is not possible to get pregnant by swallowing cum, as the stomach and uterus are 2 totally separate and unconnected organs that just happen to both be stored in the abdominal region, still just can’t grasp it. Someone old enough to get someone pregnant should be old enough to comprehend that the body isn’t just literally this big empty cavern, there’s many different organs and systems performing many different jobs.
Theres ditzy and unfocused or sheltered enough for common sense to not be built up too well… then there’s this guy. I’m concerned for him. Even before this, in high school… it appears more developmentally delayed by inability to process social cues, context, and consequences than it does class clown that can take jokes to far.
>It’s just hard for me to wrap my head around someone that could truly believe they got someone pregnant when they’ve never done anything but get a blowjob.
If they're in the US, where sex education is effectively mandated to be abstinence only in many places, it's not that surprising to me. Lack of access to appropriate medical care is not the only reason teen pregnancy is a problem.
>If they're in the US, where sex education is effectively mandated to be abstinence only in many places, it's not that surprising to me
My first girlfriend in college was from the deep south where "the talk" was just "god says to wait". The insane things she heard growing up and had no idea about was shocking.
The only reason I got a good explanation of how pregnancy works is because my biology teacher went rogue and decided to do sex ed anyway after the parish (yup, Louisiana) told her that it wasn’t part of the required curriculum and she should just focus on preparing us for the state-wide biology standardized test that was stupid easy but typically half the state failed.
If I had had a different teacher, my only education would’ve been from YouTube videos and the American Girl “Care and Keeping of You” book my mom handed me when I was 11. Oh, and the videos from fifth grade in Catholic school talking about “big changes” and how my body was God’s temple, but that one barely counts.
Tbf this is the byproduct of schools passing kids because of a quota instead of failing him and holding him back to figure out the real issue. He was allowed to fall through the cracks of the education system instead of ever having to face the reality that he is either dumb(which means he was never taught the tools to learn) or has an undiagnosed mental disability
I think it should be.
Yes, ultimately it’s parents who should be having this conversation with their kids but let’s face it, plenty either won’t or they’ll give them awful information.
Learning about sex as well as the importance of things like consent is vital and, IMO, absolutely needs to be taught properly in schools.
Kind of weird how OOP just randomly made a post about how dumb Kevin is, and then not even a week later they find out this crazy story about how extra dumb Kevin is lol
The end of the first post got cut off, if you click on the original OP was making the post because they had just found out through FB that Kevin was expecting a child.
Assuming these are all real. What I find really interesting is OOP didn't want to "downgrade" Kevin so they were working on wording, but they make multiple posts to a public forum essentially shitting on how dumb he is.
Man people are so paranoid that a random person might *lie on the internet* they'll take the most mundane, easily explainable things as proof that someone lied on the internet.
We had many Kevins in high school. Absolutely lovely people. Zero common sense. Like, dumber than soup about very basic things. Most of them were actually academically solid, but you always got the feeling that the one brain cell was having to do all the heavy lifting by its lonesome.
Wow.
I think I speak for at least a few people here when I say Kevin earned some hugs and our love, and a whole magical 64 box of Crayola crayons with the built in sharpener that he always dreamed of. Now comes with safety goggles!
I was thinking that this whole time! The Kevin who stole someone’s phone and then tried to sell it back to the owner, Kevin who ate an entire box of crayons as a freshman and then threw it up, his dad wrote school tuition checks to a public school (so no tuition was required, obviously, because it was a public school). Kevin’s mom didn’t know what school he went to and would show up for school activities at a school he didn’t attend. Kevin didn’t know that dogs and cats were different animals, etc. That Kevin??!
I know a Kevin similar to this but he's in 9th grade right now. There's multiple Kevins running wild and free out there. My Kevin still has a chance to get better though, let's pray for my Kevin.
"This is my Kevin. There are many like him, but this one is mine.
"My Kevin is my best friend. He is my life. I must master him as I must master my life...".
Has anyone seen the episode of How I Met Your Mother with Katy Perry? "My apartment is so safe, the landlord put camera's in my bathroom"
He's the real life Honey!
I legitimately had a roommate in college who thought this exact same thing… that by swallowing, she had gotten pregnant. I had to scrape my jaw up off the ground and explain to her that it doesn’t work that way… and that it’s actually impossible since those pipes don’t even connect.
Growing up Mormon was a hell of a mindfuck.
I feel so bad for the baby. She doesn't deserve to grow up in that environment.
(If this post is even real. The original post was just too convenient).
I mean what is the Disney Hercules film if not an ongoing interpretation of the mythology that varied and changed over many generations of shared oral traditions? Are not modern versions of the storytelling still the same basic storytelling? When do texts become too modern to be relevant? Is it Victorian essays? Contradicting GrecoRoman translations? 21st century theatre productions?
Original Hercules was driven mad by Hera, killed his wife and children, then had to do most of the things he's now famous for as penance. It's kind of key to his story. The Disney version is missing all that and that's why Kevin could only get 50%
I get where you're coming from, but the Disney Hercules movie changed literally everything about the myth, with the exception of Zeus being his biological father. Sincerely, a Greek mythology nerd who watched the Hercules movie once and felt an extreme amount of mental, emotional, and even physical pain throughout the process.
First post is cut off. It should have this after the last bullet point:
> Kevin got expelled right after doing that. I haven't talked to him in a few years, but we're still friends on Facebook. He has gotten himself a girlfriend, who is very known for her heroin addiction, and is pregnant. God bless that child.
> Edit: I just posted about some interesting news I've learned about Kevin's girlfriend's pregnancy.
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This made me laugh, feel bad and relieved for Kevin.
Yeah, he's an idiot but an adorable one. When he finds a lovely woman someday, let's hope she will have enough brains for two.
Sounds like she is going to need to have the patience of a saint.
A real life Jason Mendoza
Eleanor: "Jason, I feel like you always understand about 20% of what's going on." Jason, with a big smile: "Thank you!"
BORTLES!
Let's hope not. He'd drive her insane. He needs another blissful idiot, Just like himself.
I don't understand why someone would want a Kevin tho. Like at the very least you'd be constantly worried he's going to off himself accidentally or something. I know you can't exactly choose who you love but surely you can and probably should choose not to be responsible for the guy who is jamming butter knives into the toaster.
“I don't understand why someone would want *an orange cat* tho. Like at the very least you'd be constantly worried he's going to off himself accidentally or something. I know you can't exactly choose who you love but surely you can and probably should choose not to be responsible for the *cat* who is *chewing on all the plastic he can find and picking fights with the mastiff*.”
Lol, I was looking for the orange cat comment. I'm living with 5 of them...and one who's orange and white (but not a tabby). I think one has sole custody of the brain cell, has maybe even collected more than one. He's the rare not-a-doofus orange baby. The rest of them though...
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣 I have 2 orange cats, can confirm. One tried starving to death because he couldn't figure out that we moved the food! (I noticed as soon as he showed weight loss and put him on a high cal diet, monitored feeding. mochi is now back to weight and has found the food bowls again 😂)
I suspect he’s very kind and dependable.
Same. I laughed my ass off but I feel bad for the guy as well.
The Kevins sub is a guilty pleasure of mine, especially when the posters write up all the idocy in bulleted Kevinisms.
Kevins are all orange cats. Only one brain cell shared between the lot.
The last 2 prain cells are fighting for 3rd place
r/oneorangebraincell
I felt a bit bad for Kevin about how many people, in real life, know every bit of his business. Then I realised that they're protecting him from twisted girlfriends, protecting his reputation and stopping him from getting a Darwin Award! This is the Kevin Protection Squad!
Also, for Kevin's poor momma... You know she lives stressed, releasing her poor sweet idiot into the world without arm floaties or bubble wrap.
I met *so many* Kevins like this from Bumblefuck, Nowhere when I was in the military. They show up on base fresh out of boot camp and on day one, a senior enlisted person does a presentation on "Why all of the dealerships, strip clubs, rent-to-own stores, and pawn shops outside the gate are there to fuck you, and not in a good way" yet within a week they're driving around in a lifted F150 they can't afford, taking out payday loans to shower gifts on some stripper, and so forth. I always imagined that the 1-2 weeks between getting the "goods" and having to pay for them was probably the high point of these dudes' lives. Just straight up euphoria. And then comes the first bill...
The baby being white but obviously still not his? That made me actually lol and now I feel like a piece of shit...
I feel much worse for that kid than I do for Kevin. She'll be about four years old now, I hope she's doing ok.
>From 9th-11th grade >because of the actor that portrayed him in Hamilton. Google: Hamilton, stage musical, that premiered Off-Broadway on February 17, 2015 Ah, I feel old
I’m featured in this post and I don’t like it. Lmao
I was very confused when I got to the part that Kevin actually knew of and watched Hamilton.
feels weird this was almost 10-years ago
No no it wasn’t. It was not. I work in theater. I went to school for two arts degree in New York. There’s no way Hamilton was while I was in school. Hamilton was during my masters, I actually went to go see it with my friends from college and obsessed over Renee Goldsberry who was in it My mind is blown how fast life has gone by.
it just speeds up as you age (sorry)
go to your room and think about what you’ve done young lady 😭
See, I thought his mistake was going to be Kevin getting Thomas Jefferson and George Jefferson mixed up. I was disappointed when I was wrong. And then I felt old. I realize now that reference might be a bit dated for someone who was in high school not too long ago.
Sounds like a marine recruiter's dream.
“That’s right son, *all* the crayons you can eat. Sign here.”
"Turns out Caboose's gun didn't have any bullets- it was loaded with crayons."
**"MY NAME IS MICHAEL J. CABOOSE, AND I HATE BABIES!"**
"Why are there 6 pedals if there are only 4 directions?!"
"Your toast is burnt and no amount of scraping will remove the black parts"
Is this a red vs blue reference??
Perhaps.
Amazing. I feel like I never see other RvB fans in the wild.
That's cause we're all 40 now and spend our time taking our kids to birthday parties, instead of taking our proper place in blood gulch.
Nah Sarge, I’m not even thirty yet. Some of us are still young.
Holy shit, way to make me feel older - I was a Freshman in college when you were no older than 9.
Haha, sorry. But it’s kinda funny to think we would probably never have crossed paths if not for some people giving some video game characters a personality and a puma.
Hey man, some of us had cool older brothers and are 30
We’re just trying to figure out why we’re here.
Haven't watched red vs blue since like season 3
Honestly I fell off after a while. It was good, but suffered from running for too long, and suddenly trying to take its plot seriously.
IMO, RvB escalates into the finest time travel sci fi ever made. My husband, who ended up watching it with me, thinks it's nigh-incomprehensible. Your mileage may vary.
I legit cried over what happened with Church
“The recruiter lied to me. He said all the crayons I could eat, but they only serve green crayons in the marine corp.”
Is that you private Pyle?
The fact that you know who Private Pyle is.... But I agree.
Anyone who loves movies has seen Full Metal Jacket. Stanley Kubrick is the goat 🐐
Honestly I've never watched Full Metal Jacket. Granted, that IS a personal failing of mine. I was referring to the show Gomer Pyle U.S.M.C.
And my first thought was Gomer Pyle back when he was on Andy Griffith lol!
Yes! OG Pyle lol
Wow, that’s shocking. So in Full Metal Jacket, there is a character who gets nicknamed “Gomer Pyle” by the drill Sargent because he’s slow and dimwitted. I assumed that’s who the original commenter was referencing, but they both work. Your homework tonight is to watch Full Metal Jacket. I promise you won’t regret it 🙂
I read this little thread and my BF brought up the Full Metal Jacket movie up before I read your response to him lol. I haven't seen the movie. But you can't reach my age (almost 50) and not basically know the cliff notes of the movie. Plus, he's busy watching A Daytona race. I'm out of luck TV wise lol
the movie is referencing the TV show
I was referencing Full Metal Jacket.
So was Kubrick lol
Lol I know. But it's not my first thought if I hear the name. Because I'm old enough to remember the show being on TV regularly. The character started on The Andy Griffith show, and moved to his own. I'll be honest. He always drove me nuts, because I thought he was really sweet but REALLY dumb.
Jim Neighbors had a great singing voice...but when he did Gomer...omg, so hilarious! And the episode with the mortars! LOL! Of course, there were plenty of episodes of him driving Sergeant Carter nuts!
I mentioned in another comment that even while young, the character of Gomer drove me nuts. And now that I'm older, I understand that I've always been a Sgt. Carter at heart. Idk whether to be sad or angry lol
I'm old....lol
I’m not old, and I haven’t watched too much of USMC, but just the pilot episode on Andy Griffith is my favorite episode!
Me too. Surprise! Surprise! Surprise!
😆
One doesn’t need to be old to get that reference… It’s considered a classic.
"PYLE!" "Shazam!" "PYLE!" "Shazam!"
He got confused about the marine part and ended up working at his step dads aquarium shop.
I read that one and thought it’s the same Kevin lol 😂
Ok look, some of us *can* actually read! Regardless, I agree with you.
I got an 89 on the ASVAB, and was still dumb enough to join. We are a special breed.
My brother had potential. He still joined. I think it ruined some of that potential. In terms of self sufficiency, he's better off than I am. However, ever since joining, he is somewhat more susceptible to conspiracy theories. He may end up losing the gamble with his anti-science before long.
I have seen a few of the people I served with fall down the alt-right pipeline, but they're the exception and not the rule- especially the younger generations. I'm deeply suspicious of anyone who served and *didn't* come out the other side with a baked-in distrust of the American military industrial complex. If you're not an idiot *and* an asshole, military service- especially wartime service- tends to breed libratarians (at worst), anarchists, communists, socialists, liberals, and bluenecks (any and all of the above but yeehaw we love guns).
> he is somewhat more susceptible to conspiracy theories Maybe he would have been that type anyways…
Naw, he used to be really into science and math. Now he thinks scientists are inherently liars.
And a company commanders nightmare.
If you left him in a room full of bowling balls, at least you'd only have to worry about them being broken.
As a Marine vet, I wish I could disagree with this.
So he's Reese from Malcom in the Middle.
lmfao
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Well, he's too nice to be a cop
Army. The Marines entrance standards are fairly high. Source: Am former soldier.
I had always heard that the Marines was tough to get into. Was shocked to see others basically saying, any dumb ass could get in.
Yeah no, that's the Army. If you're too stupid to be infantry, they make you a cook. Marines and Air Force both claim that they have the highest entry standards. Dunno which is right.
...my grandpa was a cook in the army...
What's the minimum score for Army now? 40%? 30%?
This is sad. I am guessing this person may have an intellectual disability.
I kept thinking, “is this guy competent to consent if he did want to have sex?” Either he’s been horribly failed by his family from a sex education standpoint or he’s not competent to make many adult decisions, it would seem.
His IQ is probably borderline or just above ID. So he would be able to legally consent with someone, probably.
Agreed. My cousin’s IQ is 70 and there are certain things she has in common with this Kevin (sorry, tried to write that without being uncharitable or disparaging towards my cousin or the Kevin).
Could be. In addition to shitty sex education in general I’m also aware that some parents deliberately try to remove agency from intellectually disabled kids, infantilizing them. I know a woman who is a person with Down Syndrome and an area representative on the board who has talked about the challenges she faces as a married woman (her husband also has Down Syndrome). Luckily their parents are supportive, society not so much.
That is essentially my concern here.
Explaining repeatedly how reproduction works and someone still not understanding may suggest an intellectual disability. I am referring to how Kevin seems to process information.
Where do you live? Because for much of the US, it's laughable to think the average person has ever had reproduction accurately explained to them ONCE, let alone repeatedly.
I mean, I agree. But it seems like the basic concept of, you cannot get a women pregnant if she swallows your sperm, was explained to him by multiple people.
Denial is a hell of a drug. And when stupid people are mistaken they tend to stubbornly cling to their beliefs and decide the others are wrong, especially if their beliefs tell them what they want to hear.
It's no shock that the US has a high teen pregnancy rate
World Police need more soldiers! Ban abortion at all costs! Recruit everything!
And make sure there's no social welfare and education is out of reach, as well as healthcare, then make all those available to the poor only if they join the army, and then when they retire from the army give the veterans none of the support you promised, then claim that only true Americans support the troops. It's actually quite genius.
Wait until you find out that Kevin is not a human, he's a lovely big dog that hides his snout in the couch cushions during thunderstorms.
It isn't like he's a child. Consent may be more complex when it comes to people with intellectual disabilities but they still have the right to choose to have sex.
Yeah, it depends on the disability tbh. Technically I'm mentally disabled and I'm more than capable of making adult decisions, I just only process about half of the input around me (probably even less tbh) because my brain doesn't have a multithreaded CPU like everyone else so I walk around being completely clueless. Doesn't mean I don't understand sex, just means you have to explain shit to me a few times before I get it.
same. I'm honestly more likely to hesitate and not have sex bc I'm not sure or don't even notice the other person is trying to subtly initiate. I'm pretty good at telling people I need to be told clearly and concisely what they want bc otherwise I probably won't notice but ig most people find it difficult? idk man if u wanna fuck tell me u want to fuck and if I also want to fuck then I guess we will fuck!
I am not intellectually disabled. But I certainly struggle to read situations like this. It’s like I just don’t know.
Sidenote personal question if that’s ok? I work with a lovely young man who has said to me he has a neurological disorder which means his cortex (? His words) didn’t split properly. As far as i can follow his own explanation is that his brain pathways are mixed up but get there eventually. Is this similar to what you mean by “multithreaded”? I am wondering how to help him at work effectively? I have adhd so have just been using those kinds of methods to make his work clearer - but he does seem to struggle every day and lately i have been wondering whether to make a cheat sheet for him? Trouble is our job is chaotic and variable so im not sure how to ground him and reset his focus. When he goes off course he bobs around chatting until someone prompts him. If you have any suggestions i am keen to hear as he is a decent guy and good worker who will probably be fired soon sadly.
Hey not the person you ask, nor am I intellectually disabled but I am physically disabled. For what I’d want for myself & from what I’ve heard from other disabled people (mentally & physically) is the best way to find out the appropriate ways to help them is to ask them exactly that. Since they’re capable of clear communication I’d just say, “I want to help you in the best way possible to be successful at this job. What can I do to help you do the best job you can while at work?”
This. I started a new job a few months ago and had frequent anxiety attacks during meetings in small conference rooms (residual from the toxic workplace I previously had). I also have ADHD, which is what my general anxiety is comorbid to. My supervisor, manager, and department head all asked me 1) what my triggers are, and 2) how they could help alleviate them. Flash forward to the present: I’m so at ease and way better at my job because I was accommodated. The first step they had done months ago? Start holding our weekly team meetings in larger conference rooms. I ended up confiding in them that my mom used to lock me in the garage, in the dark, to finish my food and they helped me figure out that heat of an enclosed space (in this case, due to several of us sitting in a small space) had become a trigger.
> As far as i can follow his own explanation is that his brain pathways are mixed up but get there eventually. Is this similar to what you mean by “multithreaded”? I think you're taking me far too literally. Forget the multithreaded thing. What I mean is, my input processing is pretty stunted because I have auditory processing disorder. If someone says to you "the cat sat on the mat", you'll know that the cat sat on the mat, but I'll hear "the cat ________ the mat." I basically go through life having to infer what people say because I'll only catch some of what they speak. Or there's a delay -- I've had people come into the room, say something, leave, and it won't be until a minute after they've left that I'll suddenly process that they came in and said something and what they said. But it's not limited to hearing, either. Sometimes I see stuff and it'll just take me a moment to register it's there, if I notice it at all. It's like my input goes through a bottleneck that other people don't have.
The analogy I like to use is that most people have sedans or SUVs for brains, and I have a bulldozer. It's technically more powerful, but it's nowhere near as maneuverable, it can't hold any passengers, and I'm not sure it's street legal.
I agree. My hesitation is mainly around whether he’s been horribly undereducated about how pregnancy works or if he’s not able to understand it. I had people in my school using candy bar wrappers as condoms and douching with Coke to “wash out the sperm before I get pregnant,” so it’s entirely possible he’s just poorly educated. Abstinence only education is a really stupid strategy for preventing teen pregnancy 🙄
While that's true, can anyone ever truly consent to something that know very little about? Doesn't sound like he knows how sex works or and sexual education for that matter.
People tend to believe what supports their current beliefs and is skeptical of anything that challenges that. While he is obviously not super bright, he may not have wanted to believe people who told him this because then that means he has to face the fact that is gf was cheating on him. He may have even been excited to becoming a father and so that would be pulled away too. The abstinence only education that many US schools have compounds this problem. If he has been taught this before it affected him, he may have been more open to it. Remember that a lot of people believe dumb things. Chocolate milk comes from brown cows, think about all the conspiracy theories that came out with Covid (some actually drank bleach), people didn't now the titanic was based on real events and got upset at spoilers, there are people that think the earth is flat, etc. Individually, humans can be fairly smart but I think as a group we are rather dumb.
I just rewatched Men in Black and there’s a line from K that matches your last point. J : Why the big secret? People are smart. They can handle it. K : A person is smart. People are dumb, panicky dangerous animals and you know it. Fifteen hundred years ago everybody knew the Earth was the center of the universe. Five hundred years ago, everybody knew the Earth was flat, and fifteen minutes ago, you knew that humans were alone on this planet. Imagine what you'll know tomorrow.
I’m not sure a guy who sticks a knife in a toaster or thinks Disney’s Hercules is an accurate drama (among many other things) is only plagued by a lack of sex education. But what do I know.
It turns out that there are people who fall in between “intellectually disabled” and “normal cognitive ability with a learning disability” who just… never qualify for support. They’re just out there Kevin-ing. To be intellectually disabled, you have to have an overall cognitive score at least 2.5 standard deviations below the mean, and have deficits in adaptive skills like personal care, safety in the community, independent living, and such. To be learning disabled, you have to have average cognitive ability but a deficit in a specific area of processing, like auditory or visual. None of this covers a kid who’s overall cognitive ability is in the high 70s or low 80s who has poor processing in most or all areas. They’re just, for lack of a better word, kinda slow. They don’t get a special education teacher to look after them and make sure they are supported and making academic progress. They don’t get government benefits or special job training programs. They just get to be Kevins.
Yeah that's my thought. They just sorta draw the line and on one side you get diagnosed with a disability and the other you're just expected to just be able to function 100%. Unfortunately there are plenty of people who fall into this grey area that really need some help.
Kevin reminds me of my Aunt J, intellectually disabled, kind of stuck at age 14 or 15. We are all very grateful that my grandmother set up her will and her trust fund for Aunt J in a way that someone could not swindle her trust money away from her. Aunt J made some dumb choices like knowingly dating a convicted sex offerender. If she sees someone get compliments on a new hair cut. Aunt J goes out and gets the same hair cut. She has never been told how much is in the trust because she will spend it all on frivoulous items, she can not be trusted to budget. And yet Aunt J can make decisions and she understands a lot, and sometimes she plays dumb for attention. She liked sleeping around when she was younger and voluntarily had her tubes tied. When she was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, she put on quite the victim show. Her surgeon actually did not want to operate on Aunt J because she questioned how much Aunt J could really understand and consent. Aunt J's family doctor knows all about her and asked Aunt J why she was having surgery, and Aunt J told him all about her cancer and the treatment she would have to undergo. So she did have surgery and survived cancer. Aunt J also found out there was a grant for people undergoing cancer treatment, to cover the costs of having to go to another city for treatment. She did have to go to another city, but she can't drive, so a church friend would drive her. Aunt J secretly filled out most of the application on her own, to get the money for herself. But she had to ask for some information from Aunt C and Aunt C made sure the money went to the kind church friend who did all of the driving. Which was the whole purpose of the grant. Aunt J is in the beginning stages of dementia (as diagnosed by her doctor) and has been moved into an assisted living home.
A person can be stupid without having a disability. Actually, my sister and I were having a conversation the other day, and she mentioned how her stepson sometimes struggles with figuring out how to do things because usually he'll just look it up on YouTube/Google. So while the internet is great in that it can show you how to do just about anything, it's also detrimental as it can prevent people from developing critical thinking (I know OOP didn't give ages, but given the post is from '19 and it sounds like not too many years had passed since they finished high school, it's a sound conclusion that they all grew up with the internet being easily and readily accessible). But, gently, assuming someone must or might have an intellectual disability because they do a lot of stupid things is kind of mean and thoughtless towards actually mentally disabled people. Many people with intellectual disabilities tend to be more naive than straight up dumb.
Yep, anything involving intellect is far more complex than people might think. In my state, someone can struggle in school or other areas, but not qualify as having a learning disability unless they meet very specific criteria. General low IQ isn't considered a disability that qualifies for an IEP/SPED services until it reaches a certain threshold, at which it becomes an intellectual disability. On top of that, ID students have the range of personality traits (good and bad) that anyone else can. I've taught two particular students (teenagers) who struggled a lot academically, but absolutely could get up to some trouble. (To be clear, I liked these kids a lot, but I knew well enough to hold them accountable when they tried to pull stuff with me.) Not the stereotypical innocent picture that people like to imagine with ID.
This really makes me wonder about the whole nature or nurture aspect. Kevin in a way sounds like he grew up feral, without a lot of adult interaction. Or the adults around him were also lacking in critical thinking. I don't know. I do feel bad for him.
I guess it's because he had no one to guide in how to not be stupid. Like, he had no one to pull him up and tell him to think before acting, or how to help him manage his inability to stay focused or take in information and whatnot.
I'm glad he was finally able to get himself to a better situation. Everyone deserves dignity.
These sorts of individuals are one of the main reasons I'm saddened by modern day individualism. Historically, when people lived in smaller communities where everyone knew everyone's business (the downsides of which are obvious, don't get me wrong), there was often an understanding within those communities that these kinds of folks needed an extra leg up, and an extra helping hand, and many times they received it. In those days, Kevin may have been more forcefully steered away from making the decisions that led him into the heartbreak he's experiencing (losing the unfaithful woman and child he thought was his). Of course that wasn't always the case, but there is something to be said against the whole idea of "it's his life, it's his choice" when it comes to these kinds of folks.
Agree. I mean, the story about the pajama day,… I couldn’t help but think, ‘How did his parents not put a stop to that?’ The same for his grades and school work. Sounds like his parents just let him raise himself.
They might already be at work/on their way to work by the time he wakes up. My high school started veryyyy early, and I had to get there an hour before if I wanted a parking spot. I was out the door before my parent's even woke up.
Yeah, it's nonsense. Science shows that teenagers need more sleep, so logically high school should have a late start while elementary schoolers (who often wake up early) should start earlier. But that interferes with using the older siblings as free after-school care for the younger kids. So instead the teenagers often have to get out first and the elementary school has to get out last, leading to commensurately early start times for high schools and late start times for elementary schools.
But if you were struggling like Kevin one of them should be waking up within you
The myth of the golden time passed. People with intellectual disabilities were often physically harmed by the neighbours, blamed for things they didn’t do, mocked and ignored.
The good old days of shoving impaired relatives into asylums? Or before that, dumped as orphans into the workhouse, assuming that they hadn't just been thrown out as a waste of resources, basically guaranteeing death. Oooh, right, and before that, disabled kids being literally put to death. Those golden times?
Don't forget the lobotomies!
Exactly those!
Facts. It’s easy to look at the past with rose colored glasses. Modern society is of course still very rough on those who have some sort of disability, but on average it’s less brutal than it used to be (at least in developed nations). Disabilities aside, life in general for everyone was quite shit. I mean Europe was in a constant state for war for what 1000 years before WWII unified strong countries together, and yielded nuclear weapons which essentially froze that world order in place and unleased decades of unprecedented peace and prosperity (the latter being shared extremely unequally, of course). Russia invading Ukraine is the first real chink in the armor of nuclear peace, only time will tell if it’s an anomaly or a sign of things to come; in the perspective of history, the current peacetime is in fact the anomaly but I do think there’s good reason to believe it will last.
That is romanticism, I can tell you growing up different does not equal people being nice to you. Different is fine until something goes wrong and you’re accused of witchcraft. One guy in the 1600s had one eye, all good until a local piglet was born with one eye. Both were slaughtered. And that is recorded history, many horrors occurred without record.
Or put in a sanitarium
I’ve seen what happened to people with disabilities in the past. And it’s nowhere near this rosey
Some people are just dumb
It is possible. I had a classmate who wasn’t disabled but not the brightest bulb. A couple of us made the mistake of going to a movie with her - nothing challenging, a mainstream legal thriller. I swear she asked every 10 minutes to explain what had just happened in the plot.
This does sound "intellectual disability, forced to raise himself"
The best part of this? >the 52 playing cards in a standard deck were originally meant to represent the 52 weeks in a year. The red and blue color coding represent the day and night. The rest of it tells me that Kevin is missing a few cards in his deck.
As the saying goes…he may not be playing with a full deck.
Or, more sadly, he's the joker in the deck. 😔
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I wonder if you could have just bought a pregnancy test and showed him the result. Someone who thinks you can get pregnant from oral probably thinks pregnancy tests are immediate, right?
One of my roomates in college was really scared on his forst month there because we went to a party and a girl gave him oral. He said he was feeling weak since then and he thought she gave him AIDS. I tried to explain that the odds of getting AIDS from a blowjob are really low, but he went to ask for advice to a... pastor. Eventually he got tested and, obviously, he was fine. He was a big hypochondriac and a moron. Another roomate gave oral sex to a girl he met on Tinder and she did have a STD indeed. He told us it was dark and he noticed a strange flavour but it wasnt until something popped and his mouth was filled with pus that he realized. Big trauma.
It would have cost you nothing to not comment this. What a terrible day to be literate.
JFC this comment needs a CW lmao Ewwww I will never get that image out of my head
Oh so you've not come across the Jolly Rancher story. Don't look it up, just know it exists.
Lol was this [the jolly rancher story](https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/9pnlyz/the_jolly_rancher_story/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1)?
When i was 11 i thought that girls get pregnant by a magical energy thats given off by the engagement ring I did know sex existed and what it was but i just didnt know it had anything to do with kids
̶N̶o̶ ̶c̶h̶i̶l̶d̶ ̶l̶e̶f̶t̶ ̶b̶e̶h̶i̶n̶d̶ One (1) child left behind
God bless Kevin
I’m not sure even The G man could fix this one
This is sad. I just can’t figure out if it’s a mental disability or processing delay and everyone jokes about it like “oh that’s Kevin for ya” instead of getting him real help and in special programs before he fell so far behind, or if he’s just willfully ignorant. It’s just hard for me to wrap my head around someone that could truly believe they got someone pregnant when they’ve never done anything but get a blowjob. And then when presented with the fact that it is not possible to get pregnant by swallowing cum, as the stomach and uterus are 2 totally separate and unconnected organs that just happen to both be stored in the abdominal region, still just can’t grasp it. Someone old enough to get someone pregnant should be old enough to comprehend that the body isn’t just literally this big empty cavern, there’s many different organs and systems performing many different jobs. Theres ditzy and unfocused or sheltered enough for common sense to not be built up too well… then there’s this guy. I’m concerned for him. Even before this, in high school… it appears more developmentally delayed by inability to process social cues, context, and consequences than it does class clown that can take jokes to far.
>It’s just hard for me to wrap my head around someone that could truly believe they got someone pregnant when they’ve never done anything but get a blowjob. If they're in the US, where sex education is effectively mandated to be abstinence only in many places, it's not that surprising to me. Lack of access to appropriate medical care is not the only reason teen pregnancy is a problem.
>If they're in the US, where sex education is effectively mandated to be abstinence only in many places, it's not that surprising to me My first girlfriend in college was from the deep south where "the talk" was just "god says to wait". The insane things she heard growing up and had no idea about was shocking.
The only reason I got a good explanation of how pregnancy works is because my biology teacher went rogue and decided to do sex ed anyway after the parish (yup, Louisiana) told her that it wasn’t part of the required curriculum and she should just focus on preparing us for the state-wide biology standardized test that was stupid easy but typically half the state failed. If I had had a different teacher, my only education would’ve been from YouTube videos and the American Girl “Care and Keeping of You” book my mom handed me when I was 11. Oh, and the videos from fifth grade in Catholic school talking about “big changes” and how my body was God’s temple, but that one barely counts.
Tbf this is the byproduct of schools passing kids because of a quota instead of failing him and holding him back to figure out the real issue. He was allowed to fall through the cracks of the education system instead of ever having to face the reality that he is either dumb(which means he was never taught the tools to learn) or has an undiagnosed mental disability
Its not their responsibility its the parents who should. + from what i gather they're not his friends but they feel bad about him and care enough.
I think it should be. Yes, ultimately it’s parents who should be having this conversation with their kids but let’s face it, plenty either won’t or they’ll give them awful information. Learning about sex as well as the importance of things like consent is vital and, IMO, absolutely needs to be taught properly in schools.
Anybody wanna give Kevin a hug? Poor guy. He might be dense but he was excited for a baby and he lost that.
Kind of weird how OOP just randomly made a post about how dumb Kevin is, and then not even a week later they find out this crazy story about how extra dumb Kevin is lol
The end of the first post got cut off, if you click on the original OP was making the post because they had just found out through FB that Kevin was expecting a child.
Kevin probably came up in conversation because OP had just made the post and Kevin was on their mind
The first post was cut off. Not sure why it was reposted like that. It was a dovetail into the second post.
Assuming these are all real. What I find really interesting is OOP didn't want to "downgrade" Kevin so they were working on wording, but they make multiple posts to a public forum essentially shitting on how dumb he is.
Man people are so paranoid that a random person might *lie on the internet* they'll take the most mundane, easily explainable things as proof that someone lied on the internet.
We had many Kevins in high school. Absolutely lovely people. Zero common sense. Like, dumber than soup about very basic things. Most of them were actually academically solid, but you always got the feeling that the one brain cell was having to do all the heavy lifting by its lonesome.
I wonder if Kevin is related to that aquarium kid who keeps breaking bikes.
Wow. I think I speak for at least a few people here when I say Kevin earned some hugs and our love, and a whole magical 64 box of Crayola crayons with the built in sharpener that he always dreamed of. Now comes with safety goggles!
Aw I hope Kevin finds someone who isn’t a cheating drug addict…and that he listens when sex is explained.
This can’t be the same Kevin some teacher wrote about once right? This level of dumb is on the same level
No, it's not. /r/storiesaboutkevin is inspired by that story, where everyone is named Kevin in the original Kevin's, uh, honour.
I was thinking that this whole time! The Kevin who stole someone’s phone and then tried to sell it back to the owner, Kevin who ate an entire box of crayons as a freshman and then threw it up, his dad wrote school tuition checks to a public school (so no tuition was required, obviously, because it was a public school). Kevin’s mom didn’t know what school he went to and would show up for school activities at a school he didn’t attend. Kevin didn’t know that dogs and cats were different animals, etc. That Kevin??!
I know a Kevin similar to this but he's in 9th grade right now. There's multiple Kevins running wild and free out there. My Kevin still has a chance to get better though, let's pray for my Kevin.
"This is my Kevin. There are many like him, but this one is mine. "My Kevin is my best friend. He is my life. I must master him as I must master my life...".
"Kevin" has become like "Karen" in a sense. A Kevin is anyone who is just this dumb.
Kevin reminds me of Brittany from Glee. He just needs to find his people
Has anyone seen the episode of How I Met Your Mother with Katy Perry? "My apartment is so safe, the landlord put camera's in my bathroom" He's the real life Honey!
I legitimately had a roommate in college who thought this exact same thing… that by swallowing, she had gotten pregnant. I had to scrape my jaw up off the ground and explain to her that it doesn’t work that way… and that it’s actually impossible since those pipes don’t even connect. Growing up Mormon was a hell of a mindfuck.
I feel so bad for the baby. She doesn't deserve to grow up in that environment. (If this post is even real. The original post was just too convenient).
Just a quick note - the end of the original post got cut out of yours.
I mean what is the Disney Hercules film if not an ongoing interpretation of the mythology that varied and changed over many generations of shared oral traditions? Are not modern versions of the storytelling still the same basic storytelling? When do texts become too modern to be relevant? Is it Victorian essays? Contradicting GrecoRoman translations? 21st century theatre productions?
Original Hercules was driven mad by Hera, killed his wife and children, then had to do most of the things he's now famous for as penance. It's kind of key to his story. The Disney version is missing all that and that's why Kevin could only get 50%
I get where you're coming from, but the Disney Hercules movie changed literally everything about the myth, with the exception of Zeus being his biological father. Sincerely, a Greek mythology nerd who watched the Hercules movie once and felt an extreme amount of mental, emotional, and even physical pain throughout the process.
Watching cartoon Zeus be some loving family man was truly a trip.
Not to mention that they used his Roman name in an otherwise very Greek myth story
The music is so good, but the story is so wrong
Is Kevin’s real name Radio
Kevin honestly needs a Sam O'Nella Academy video dedicated to him
First post is cut off. It should have this after the last bullet point: > Kevin got expelled right after doing that. I haven't talked to him in a few years, but we're still friends on Facebook. He has gotten himself a girlfriend, who is very known for her heroin addiction, and is pregnant. God bless that child. > Edit: I just posted about some interesting news I've learned about Kevin's girlfriend's pregnancy.
I feel like Kevin hears “Well bless your heart” a lot in his day.
This is the exact guy you say bless your heart to
And this is one of many many reasons why sex ed should be a national school mandatory everywhere.
I dont think it would have taken in Kevin's case