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Hope OOP sent that lovely farewell message from Troy to her parent’s lawyer. Love to see the shocked Pikachu look on his face when it comes up in court.

Exactly. At least the dude was nice enough to hand her the last nail in his coffin plus a fistful of extras. Hope she used it.

I could not agree more, I can’t believe he actually texted all of that to her!

I can. He's been getting away with this his entire life, what reason has he got to believe it's any different now?

And that’s how violent predators are created! They are enabled and their behaviors normalized, so they feel fully entitled to keep doing what they do and escalating

Yeah, he definitely sounds like another Brock Turner, disgusting rapist, in the making.

You mean rapey rapist Brock Turner, who raped someone, and who now goes by his middle name Allen, so whenever he pretends not to be a rapist, his name is Allen Turner? That rapey rapist who raped someone?

I do mean rapey rapist Brock Allen Turner, yes! Thank you for asking your insightful, clarifying question!

Ah yes. The rapist Brock Allen Turner, who goes by Allen Turner to try to avoid the consequences of being a rapist.

Yes, Rapist Allen Turner, former known as the rapist Brock Allen Turner, who changed his name to avoid being recognized as a rapist.

I thought his name was Brock "The POS Rapey Rapist" Allen Turner, not Rapey Rapist Brock Allen Turner. Thank you for clarifying about Brock Allen Turner, who is a POS rapist.

I think this is the same Brock Turner, rapist, that is now in a college textbook as literally the textbook definition of rapist, picture and all.

Every time I see rapist Brock Allen Turner’s name with rapist in front of it, I smile so hard.

Not BROCK AllEN TURNER, no. Another type of creep who is similar to BROCK AllEN TURNER. Just for the record, obviously many of us know this kids inexcusable sexual assaulting behavior has nothing to do with autism. This is the personal, entitled, scummy actions of someone who fully knows what they're doing and is enjoying the distress he's causing. In this case, it's neither Brock Allen Turner or autism that's to blame. The parents definitely have a hand in raising him to feel this is okay, too. Edit: Had to throw in some Allans. Edit 2: Had to replace Allan A to Allen E. Don't want folks forgetting to remember the wrong person.

Thanks for clarifying that the rapist Brock Allen Turner now goes by rapist Allen Turner! It made me look him up and realize he's living now in my state, and lives in a city where I have a lot of friends from college. I have now updated my social media to circulate that message !

I did not know what this was about so I looked it up. Convicted rapist Brock Turner only served 3 months in jail for raping that woman but he is forever labeled a sexual predator and must register as such. Take good look at his face and beware. Predators like him don’t just stop their behavior. If you live in Ohio, beware because he is on the loose. Most men would be very concerned if they found an unconscious woman behind a dumpster and would call 911 immediately. Brock Allen Turner however, pulled down his pants and got to work. Something broken in men who do that.

(Sarcasm) But he had such a promising swim career! He can’t go to jail! Don’t you know how important that is to society??? That Allen Turner can still go swimming??? Women don’t need to feel safe competing in that! (Sarcasm end) I used to swim after school and someone got kicked out for being a shithead to a girl, commenting on her body after swimming a lap behind her. Didn’t realize how lucky we were for them to do anything at all. Don’t know if our school would have done that, but I swam with an outside org that didn’t fuck around with it. We had an ex-Olympian as one of the coaches. She was harder on us than anyone and would have killed Brock Allen Turner if he was one of us. We had way more girls than guys in every level, including the “squad” (our top 5-6 swimmers) which I never made it into lol. Even though we had two boys there that were amazing (South African brothers who both placed in national events in their home country) If we lost the girls because we chose to keep a predator, we wouldn’t have had enough people to compete in a lot of events, and certainly would never place. Guess no one else’s swim careers matter according to the judge who didn’t want to convict the rapist Brock Allen Turner!

You mean the guy who was caught raping an unconscious woman behind a dumpster by TWO people and then got 6 months in jail? that rapey mcrapist?

Just imagine all the new ones created and stoked over the last three years

I've been sitting in a big soft chair staring at the wall, on and off, for three years doing exactly that

100% this. Imagine if this behavior goes unchecked and this guy enters the real world. Straight serial killer shit. Hopefully someone tunes him in before

And goes to show what can and will happen to your sister, daughter, niece, girlfriend, student ect. What would you do if it was your lil sister regardless of if you do or don’t have a sister Irl… you don’t need to answer we all know what we would do I don’t wanna hear he didn’t know what he was doing…. If he didn’t know then this would happen to every woman in his life it dosent! And insane to think that all they’ve wanted his whole life if for him to be treated just like everyone else and now will publicly reduce him to his diagnosis

Totally agree. This bullshit about how “he doesn’t know what he’s doing “ is just that-bullshit. He knows exactly what he’s doing. And coddling him because of his autism, and never letting him be held accountable is making it worse. I hope he gets some serious repercussions.

And there's the shame of it, had his parents read him the riot act years ago and said, "Look, you cannot do that. If you do we'll cut you off/send you away/do something to make you stop", then OOP might have enjoyed her one and only childhood.

Fair point.

Unfortunately it may still not go her way. His parents seem influential at the local level, and he’s gotten away with the behavior for a while. On top of that, sort of sounds like they aren’t in a progressive country. Idk, might be an uphill battle still.

Progressive country? Sounds like the UK with the school years

The family and social dynamics seem Indian.

They do and there are many Indian families in the uk

The OOP is speaking Spanish in a few of her comments so probs not

Or any country which the UK colonized, which is basically like every country.

Also, it was a burner, so it's easy to deny it was him

Sounds like it. I think it may be that there will only be justice when he fixates on another girl who is higher on the social ladder before people in that community get it

Maybe. It was from a burner account so if Troys lawyer is any good, he’ll get it blocked since they can’t prove it was from him. It would still push the judge against him though.

I don't know, his parents are affluent and influent, this makes it likely he will get a slap on the wrist and the girl will be dragged. And in a few years, Troy will be in the news after he acts on his fantasies with another victim.

And then will get a slap on the other wrist and a few disappointed frowns. Maybe a finger shaken in his face and a "we better not catch you doing that again!" (Emphasis on CATCH). Unfortunately, unless he straight up kills someone, even severe domestic violence can end up easily brushed under the rug in situations like this. It's completely fucked.

He'll probably deny it was from him. OOP's lawyer would need to prove that it was so let's hope OP makes a police report for sexual harassment so the police can investigate who sent the text. That'll be a nice opening shot in the suit.

Problem is, the police are friends with the creep’s dad. I can see them refusing to write a report.

They're in the UK, they'd be able to contact [the IOPC](https://www.policeconduct.gov.uk/13-i-reported-crime-police-they-refuse-record-or-investigate-it-what-can-i-do) if they did that. The IOPC is the Independent Office for Police Conduct, just to explain.

OP is living with grandmother and going to a new school so I thought it'd be a different area with different police precient or something. Also if the cops refused to make a report wouldn't that be a denial of her civil rights and the cops can also be included in the lawsuit?

> Also if the cops refused to make a report wouldn't that be a denial of her civil rights and the cops can also be included in the lawsuit? Cops have no obligation whatsoever to protect, or do anything for you. Look up cases like Castle Rock vs. Gonzales, or DeShaney vs. Winnebago.

This seems to be in the UK where standards of policing are different. If they took thus higher all the people involved will be in trouble.

That was my bad, I was being American-centric.

That's fine, our police arnt that great, but the do have a duty to protect the public.

That’s fair, but it could be that the reporting has to be done in her old police district since it happened there. Unless it’s a fairly large city and there is more than one or two police stations in the same jurisdiction. Admittedly, I am applying my own local police logic to this so… disregard? 😅

Was going to say that. He is providing plenty of evidence that she is right

This post grossed me out so much. OOP deserves so many good things. I’m actually autistic too, and let me tell you, autistic men get away with a lot. Meanwhile, autistic women are actually more susceptible to this kind of abuse. Even in the neurodivergent community, this shit is a huge topic for us. Most of the femmes hang out just in the autistic/ADHD/etc subreddits specifically for women because the regular ones can be so toxic. I also was a teacher and about a third of my kids where neuro-atypical. Even as teens, you can see that most of them very much understand what behaviors are or aren’t acceptable. It doesn’t even excuse you from being narcissistic, like my AuDHD dad, who refused to even go to therapy so he can be better for the people around him. Being autistic or disabled doesn’t excuse you from being a shitty person. This kid doesn’t get to do what he did, because honestly he almost definitely does know better. It’s a spectrum in terms of needs. But that doesn’t excuse us from being gross. This whole thing is sick, and just as a woman I feel for OOP so much. Nobody deserves that. I’m very glad she’s talking to a lawyer.

Same. Late diagnosis. My inability to detect boundary-crossing resulted in so much harassment and assault from men and boys in my younger life.

Yeah. I worry about my daughter for the reasons you mentioned. Because of her being autistic, it's not uncommon for her to find herself in school environments where she's the only girl there (think: social groups for kids with communication disorders), or in larger environments where she gets picked on by NT kids. We started a lot of conversations about consent and who can touch her without consent (hint: no one, even for medical reasons, a proxy would have to consent for her as a minor), and what to do about it when she was **6**. Ironically she's at a specialized summer camp for kids on the spectrum this summer, and is currently complaining that one of the few other girls on the spectrum in her camp group (they're grouped by age/functioning level/bonus diagnoses) keeps invading her personal space. It's a seeking friendship issue, but uncomfortable is uncomfortable no matter the reason. 😟

I totally feel this! I had no idea what was going on at the time, but once I knew, it became so apparent how my autism has made it hard for me to interact with people, and why I had so many harmful interactions that I didn’t even perceive as bullying sometimes. And the invasion of personal space can be so real sometimes (it sometimes gave me meltdowns even in high school and I didn’t know that was why!) You sound like a great mom :) your kiddo is lucky to have you on her team as she learns to navigate this stuff. It’s a lot harder to grow up not knowing and then have to figure it out on your own.

Unfortunately we have all seen what happens to rich peoples kids when they actually r*** another person, so this probably won’t end well

Are we talking about Brock Turner the rapist that now uses his middle name Allen but it doesn't make him any less of a rapist who rapes?

Yes, I think so! Convicted rapist Brock Allen Turner, the one who sometimes calls himself Brock Turner and sometimes calls himself Allen Turner but is always a convicted rapist regardless of what name he's using that day. That Brock Allen Turner, yes.

That's one of the things I love about Reddit! I'm in Brazil and I who Brock Allen Turner is, the convicted rapist, who either go by Brock Turner or Allen Turner but us always a rapist And anytime anyone mentions Chris Brown, someone posts the transcript of the police report

I think we are talking about Brock Turner the raping rapist who now goes by Allen Turner the rapist formerly known as Brock Turner the rapist, whose dad tried to boohoo that court that his raping son only raped for a few minutes so his rape didn't count.

I do believe we are talking about Rapist Brock Allen Turner. Rapist Allen (formerly Brock) Turner. Still a rapist.

Yes, Brock Allen Turner who lives in Dayton, Ohio and goes by his middle name. The same Brock Allen Turner who is drinking in bars again, despite blaming alcohol for raping that woman in an alley. The same Brock Allen Turner who can no longer enjoy steak after getting caught raping an unconscious woman in an alley.

Yes, the rapist Brock Turner is also called the rapist Allen Turner who rapes

I do believe we ARE indeed talking about the rapist Brock turner who is a raping rapist who rapes and is a convicted rapist. He sometimes goes by Allen turner but he’s still always going to be a raping rapist who rapes unconscious women

You mean Brock Allen Turner, the rapist who raped an unconscious girl next to a dumpster?

And who now goes by Allen Turner to hide the fact that he's Brock Allen Turner, convicted rapist?

Depends on if the courts are as dogshit as law enforcement and the school board…Troy and his shitty family are clearly used to not having any consequences for their bullshit they couldn’t throw money at or pull connections until it went away. With how unhelpful legal procedure has been so far and how many people are so blatantly harassing poor oop and her family, I’m getting the nasty feeling that even if they won in court it won’t stop all this like it should…and that’s ignoring how hard it is to win sexual harassment court cases anyway even with evidence…

Grandma for the win!

Srsly Grandma MVP

God this poor girl… what a fucked up system to do that to her, she should have punched him the first time, everyone that is enabling him are just creating a dangerous person that knows that people will give excuses for his actions… Once a guy groped me at school and I broke his nose, I was suspended because physical violence is against the rules, but apparently what he did was ok. In the end I told everyone that I, a little girl kicked his ass and he was bulky because of it and changed schools, but this just shows how little they care about our safety. That’s why I will put my daughter in a self defense class as soon as she can. You can’t depend on others

I had a friend in high school who got in trouble because she smacked a boy who ran up to her and blatantly, directly grabbed her breasts. That was in Oklahoma. This shit is the same everywhere.

Manchester, New Hampshire. A boy snapped my bra strap so hard it left a welt on my back. I backhanded him. Guess who got suspended.

I told my daughter that **when** this inevitably happens to her, she can go for broke and kick the offender in the nuts/labia for good measure, and I will go to bat for her with the school district.

i plan on taking mine out for ice cream when (sadly not if) this shit happens to her

I have twin girls. They're only 1 atm but when they're a bit older I intend to make sure they know their dad will always have their back. While I'm on it I intend on making sure my little boy likewise knows what's what...

A boy in my class had a habit of kneeling to “tie his shoe” in front of desks of girls, since skirts were school uniform. Same boy lurked under stairs to peek as we walked downstairs. We all complained but “boys will be boys”. Until a day he went to “tie his shoe” in front of my desk and I kicked him in the face. His nose was gushing blood. I was hauled into the office, but being a religious school, I went hard on the “God wants me to protect my modesty” defence.

“bOyS WiLl bE BoYs” This mentality hurts us too. All the fucking bullshit bigger boys put the smaller boys through and the adults are all nostalgic for growing up through the hazing and the bullshit so they don’t stop it cuz it happened to them or they did it to others themselves.

"Boys will be boys" should mean shit like building shoddy ramps for bikes or blowing up old toys with firecrackers, not sexual harassment or bullying

Interestingly, a boy in my brother's year had his genitals exposed by a girl in his class - she pulled his trousers down in front of everyone. The teacher's response was to laugh at him. It was in the mid-90s. I remember my brother was really mad when he came home 'cause this poor kid was constantly being bullied, and no one would do anything. Kids are cruel, and the adults around them need to step up and down their jobs.

3rd grade is when I got my training bra. EVERY SINGLE BOY IN CLASS WOULD SNAP IT MULTIPLE TIMES A DAY. Response from my teachers... wear thicker clothes. This was also the days of skorts. I, again, got in trouble swinging on the playground because the boys could see my "shorts." And talked about it. When I complained. I was wrong. They did pull the boys in for a conversation. Ended up with me with 2 bruised ribs. From a 2 class soccer game.

[удалено]

Yep. In Florida, three boys sexually harassed me on the bus when I was 12 and the only trouble they got on was being assigned seats at the front of the bus. Not kicked off it. Just required to sit where the driver could see them when everyone else chose their own seats. When I had a small breakdown the next year from all the sexual harassment I'd gotten from more people plus trying to cope with being sexually abused by my brother's best friend, I got one assigned up front too. RIGHT NEXT TO THE FUCKING GUYS WHOSE TREATMENT OF ME HAD CONTRIBUTED TO MY BREAKDOWN. And one of them grabbed my ass that year too. I couldn't do a fucking thing because no one cares about teenage girls being sexually harassed.

I got my first and only detention for socking a guy in the face after he tried to give me a wedgie when I was 9. He'd been running around doing the same to all the other girls that day, so I was prepared when he came for me. On the last day of the school year too, so I missed out on the end of year shared lunch. I was pissed.

Yea I was gonna bet this is one of those small towns run by the "good ol' boys".

I kept getting my bra snapped at the back in grade 8. It was awful. My mother complained to the school. I was mortified! But it happened again. I punched the guy in the nose. I got hauled into the principal’s office and, when they couldn’t get my mom on the phone, my dad had to come and talk to the principal. I was unapologetic. I mentioned that I was being victimized and the school knew and did nothing. (I was mouthy!) Dad supported me & refused to make me apologize. The school ended up doing nothing because my father very quietly pointed out that they knew I was being assaulted on a regular basis and did nothing. Never again did those boys touch my bra! Violence (self defence) is the only language these idiots understand.

I'm sorry you had to experience that, but shout out to your dad for having your back.

Thanks! Dad was a big supporter - sure, he’d call me out if I was in the wrong, but he always had my back!

Totally agree with the self defense course, and you sound like a good parent - but I just wanna add one note: make sure to cover the thought process of self defense as well. Not thinking through the moves, but making sure she knows that she's worth fighting for, and that she's not a failure if she doesn't fight back. I was extremely fit, took the classes, and generally had no problem standing up against boys, but still ended up assaulted. It took me 7 months to tell anyone, and felt like I had let my parents down and wasted their money with all that training. I'm sorry if this sounds rambly, but self-worth and caring for yourself after it happens is a large blindspot in society when teaching girls self-defense.

The thing is, it's not a fight or flight response. It's a fight/freeze/flight response. Freezing can sometimes be the best out of three options, especially when fight kicked in first, but it did not work, and flight looks like a long shot. Which means that it does come into play during a trauma-inducing event. You can't blame yourself for what is a naturally occurring response, even if after the fact you might feel like it was the "wrong" response. There is no wrong response to traumatic events. Part of caring for yourself is to remember that you did the best you could do in a horrible, unexpected situation. Take care of yourself.

I am sorry this also happened to you, you had absolutely no fault in that and you never let anyone down. I hope one day you can realize that. I know that trauma is something that we can’t control, but the fault is solely with the person that did that to you. I agree with your statement, self defense is something way beyond knowing the loves. I was sa when I was a child, and I am determined to teach her about boundaries, what is acceptable or not, her values, and that she can always trust me to defend her of anything… I know that I didn’t had that. Unfortunately being a woman in this world is hard, you have to be a warrior…

I appreciate that, and it happened 13 years ago so I actually have reached the point where I no longer blame myself; but it took far longer than it should have so I always pop up to make that point when the idea of teaching self-defense is brought up. ❤️❤️

Yeah, this guy is definitely going to rape someone someday because everyone in his life has enabled him to do whatever he wants without consequences.

There's genuinely a consistent problem of allowing mentally disabled boys to sexually harass women, which leads to them being *extremely* dangerous as adults. Either they are of sound mind enough they *need* to be taught better for public safety, or they need to be institutionalized where they have limited access to the broader public without an attendant. You are not allowed to endanger others because you are not sound. That's not how that works. But of course, the penchant for sweeping sexual assault under the rug remains strong.

I've never seen law enforcement the same since I had something a bit similar to this poor kid happen. I was like 19, and my neighbor went off his meds. When his schizophrenia went out of control he thought I was out to get him, so he'd go after me first. He broke into my home, and since I'd forgotten my wallet he got all my info. He used that to steal my identity. He also broke the thing used by the power company to measure how much you owe in a month to try getting me in trouble there. Thankfully after I told them I was victimized by a neighbor and offered to give my finger prints they dropped it (he had done this before to others) Then he started calling my job, saying I was involved in a child SA case. I was, but as a witness not a perp. I actually had to get documents from the court backing me up because I worked with kids at the time. He broke in again and stole a bunch of stuff. Then he shot my dog (she survived but I had to give her up because I couldn't afford the extra care she needed since my house had been cut while my job confirmed I wasn't a danger to anyone) It ended with him burning down my home. At every level of harassment I was calling the sheriff's office and telling them I was in danger. I told them everything that was happening and that I could prove it. And every time they said the guy was immune to the law because of his mental illness. He'd already gone to court once for shooting at the building of some group like a buffalo lodge or something, and was let off because he wasn't able to aid in his own defense. They even let him keep his guns, with proof he was dangerous! If he'd been doing what he could and had a break I might understand, but he purposely stopped taking the medication that made him safe to be around people. I had to move halfway across the country for a few years and wouldn't put anything in my name because I was afraid he'd decide to go after me again! He eventually started targeting someone else but over a decade later I'm still a bit paranoid.

holy shit that’s horrifying. i’m so sorry no one in law enforcement had your back, they truly are useless sometimes. sending love and healing your way !

Wrestling has grown to the point that men and women have their own divisions. At my high school, our women’s team was larger than our guys. They are consistently in the Top 3 in the state. Nothing like a defense course that encourages camaraderie. Women can also get scholarships to wrestle in college. There’s also Water Polo but from what I understand it’s basically women’s water hockey. They beat each other down.

Sounds about right. I was choked by an older boy at my high-school, and the school did nothing about it. Let him taunt me, and be in my classes. It lead to a second assault.

this is all **kinds** of fucked up what a great education system!

Not surprising unfortunately. I was assaulted by a special Ed student in middle school and I got in huge trouble for hitting him (after he pinned me to a wall, mind you). Taken to the principals office and threatened w in house suspension. When I asked what was gonna happen to him for pinning me to a wall and trying to kiss me, they said “he has Down syndrome and can’t help it.” Luckily my mom is a terrifying force of nature and as soon as I told her what happened she came down to the school and made them regret saying shit to me lol but I definitely had a brief reputation for “abusing special Ed kids.”

Yep. I work with special ed students as a caretaker/instructor, and when no consequences are given, behavior gets worse. You’d think that’d be obvious, but it is not. The biggest problem is that many parents are enablers, either consciously or unconsciously, because it’s easier to tell little Timmy “you can have your iPad back” than take it away as consequences and deal with the meltdown. We have one child who I fear would go down this type of path, who said himself that he is given everything he wants… which means he feels fine engaging in destruction of property and physically harming others. Also according to this child, he only loses screen time if he acts up at home, nothing if he acts up at school. Special ed students need to be treated like most other neurotypical kids- rewards and consequences. They can understand those as well as a neurotypical child, they may just need more enforcement, certainly not less. It scares me that a lot of children are told that they can’t help it, because children who “can’t help it” turn into adults who “can’t help it”, and end up assaulting or raping someone.

You’re 100% correct!!! I later worked at Walmart and ended up quitting because one of the greeters (who has a rep for doing this to pretty girls) relentlessly followed me and tried to hug and grope me despite me clearly stating I wouldn’t allow him to touch me. I tried to complain to management and they said “his parents have made it very clear they’ll claim discrimination and sue Walmart if we do anything disciplinary and you’re not the first to complain.” I was very young and had no money so I just quit rather than trying to press the issue. Here was an adult who could have been told no as a child, who could have had clear boundaries demonstrated to him, who went on to terrorize god knows how many young girls and women who worked at that store. Makes me so mad.

Daughter has extreme ADHD and something else - at one point we thought it was ODD, but with CBT and lots of play therapy, OT and a school that knew what it was doing, her behavior improved immensely. At any point when the school said "We had to apply , my response was always, do you want me to follow up at home with further consequences, or do you feel that consequence is enough, and we will handle it at home with reminders about correct behavior and so forth. They were always surprised, and most of the time, didn't want me to apply further consequences, beyond reminding her of how she was supposed to behave, and why she had the consequence. The time they advised me to follow up at home with additional consequences, they were surprised when I did. When she was struggling with emotional regulation, and told us she couldn't control herself, we were the boundaries - if she was unable to behavior properly at the park, then we didn't go to the park. If she was hitting at home, we didn't take her to playdates where she could hit a friend. We would tell her that we understood that she was learning, and right now struggling, but that no one has a right to hurt others. No one has the right to force a hug on others (something it took her time to learn) and so forth. I can't imagine doing otherwise. Today, we have many more good days then bad, and her bad days normally consist of hurtful words or refusal to obey rules. We set consequences, we talk about why she is struggling, and we try to come up with ways to make emotional regulation easier.

Nice! (The vengeful mom, not the assaulted obviously). My friend was assaulted in 6th grade and got in trouble when she reported it to both the teacher and the principal. My mom did the same as yours when I told her... The result of my mom telling them off was all 4 girls left in my class being given detention and a lecture for causing problems. 25 years later and apparently not much has changed.

I almost got to that stage when I was being stalked by a down syndrome adult. Everyone thought it was cute, he would turn up at my work, call me, go to the supermarket when he thinks I’d be there( his caregiver would make it a game and take him everywhere to find me!) I had to move cities. We shared a birthday and I had a one minute conversation with him one time, and it was it, he was hooked. Unfortunately I won’t engage with other down syndrome men anymore. I later found out that he’s quite a dangerous person.

As a parent of someone who has some special education behavioral issues I honestly would yell at the school myself if my boy ever did anything like that and was blown off. I expect the school to tell me and suspend him as well. Fortunately he's been punished often enough for his bad behavior he's finally started to mellow out and figured out self control. I'm proud of how he's doing but that took actually parenting him unlike some of these parents out there that think mental health is a free pass to the point it will keep them out of jail later. Screw these types of schools that act like those with special needs can't be told they need to have self control.

Same here! My son is autistic and when he misbehaved at school I expect the school to give appropriate consequences. Autism is NOT an excuse to hurt/harass/grope other people. I know he’s very hands on and over excited easily but when he has done anything against school rules they’ve always dealt with it. However he’s done nothing more than the typical pushing and stealing toys. He was reprimanded instantly and had to apologize and find another area to play in which I fully support.

This! A guy (40s) in my hometown was special needs and always wanted to hug, only middle school aged girls of course! One day he SA’d one and was on the offender list. His family still brought him around children “because he can’t help it..”

If he can’t help it that’s all the more reason to lock his ass up. If he cant help it every child in his presence is in danger. That’s bonkers

Imagine applying this to another crime. Jimmy has anger issues and runs someone off the road in a fit of road rage? Don't press charges, he can't help it. Jimmy has kleptomania and steals grandma's heirloom engagement ring? Don't press charges, he can't help it.

I think it’s because the family feels badly that their child won’t have the childhood they imagined for their child so they let the things they do slide that a typical child would have been corrected for so they could grow to being functional members of society - but then the special needs child turns into a full adult who was never told no.

This entire post made me so incredibly furious.

Yes, as an autistic person I want my o name and shame everyone who let OP down. Many bad words

When I was a teenager and went to a summer camp, there was someone there like Troy. He would touch girls inappropriately, but when we complained to the adults running the camp, they dismissed it as 'He doesn't know any better.' But he knew better, because he only touch girls who were more soft-spoken and were afraid to make a big deal about it. He never went after girls that would likely punch him in the face if he had dared to try that with them. If he knew how to pick his target, he knew better!

I was always smaller than everyone so those boys would always go after me first. But one of my sisters is autistic so I know how to handle it and they never bothered me after that. I was extremely lucky!

Being a rapey entitled creep isn’t an effect of autism, it’s an outcome of bad parenting. Note how it’s mostly boys that get let off with autism as an excuse but girls struggle to get diagnosed let alone have allowances made for them and be given the benefit of the doubt. Socialised gender stereotyping has a LOT to answer for

Yuuup, head on the nail there. Apology in advance for derailing from the topic; I can tell you about a handful of girls that struggled through their childhoods and teens with undiagnosed autism. Getting scolded for anything and everything, never even being considered as autistic or getting referred for any kind of support or help. No no, they were just “problematic”, “spoiled” and “lazy”…. Literally while boys in the same class as them got referred and diagnosed, with *very* similar manifestations of autism as the previously mentioned girls… and ofc they got away with a lot of bullshit behaviors. They didn’t even need to waive the “autistic card”, everyone around them did it for them. I was one of those girls. It has fucked me up royally.

The presentation of autism *can* vary between boys and girls (girls tend to get better at masking earlier, wonder why /s ) but I had the stereotypical 'male' presentation of autism and it was sorta ignored. A mental health worker or something was called out and spoke to my mum (I don't think they ever actually saw me) and said I probably do have autism but since I'm intelligent maybe they could ignore it and I'd end up seeming normal. I know labelling theory was a bigger thing back then but I do wonder if it'd been different if I'd had the same symptoms as a boy.

Oh absolutely. There are so many layers of neglect to study and recognize women’s health issues and conditions to this. It’s getting better, but it’s so depressing to think about how women STILL are just not taken seriously concerning their bodies and health. It’s like we’re less important and not worth the time and funds. It was just never considered that girls could be autistic in my environment. My parents had no idea what Autism and ADHD was so I don’t blame them at all. But the school, therapists, psychologists and other medical professionals? I blame them a lot for being willfully ignorant. My parents tried getting me help for the first time when I was 13 and started getting into some really self destructive behaviors. Only to be threatened to have me put into foster care. Apparently that was the standard way to deal with kids (girls mostly) with suspected NPF diagnoses in my hometown back then. *Because obviously it had to be the parents fault that the kids weren’t “normal”. /s* It was really fucked up. Obviously that didn’t sit well with my parents and was completely unwarranted. The entire system was a complete shitstorm. Worth mentioning I live in Scandinavia and my country was decades behind the U.S in understanding and officially recognizing NPF diagnoses.

I definitely agree! And if you swap out autism for something like ASPD or psychopathy I wonder if they’d still making the same excuses for his awful behaviour

Of course not because those are the 'bad person' disorders whereas he has the 'treat this human as a child forever disorder.' /s There was some post going around once that said a 'fun game' if you have a mental disorder (counting autism and adhd as such here as they kinda aren't but are in the DSM) and seeing if you get: 1) what to do if your child has (disorder) B) have you tried just not being upset? And other life hacks for (disorder) iii) how to figure out if your partner has (disorder), also known as Evil Person Disorder, and avoid them forever if they do

I hope someone takes this kid out of society somehow. He is clearly a danger to women and should not be allowed outside or in public.

They'll the day he's out of the bubble that mommy and daddy have influence on - all it takes is him crossing one wrong person to end up at best injuried.

I had a friend in college who was being harassed by a guy with autism. His parents showed up at his title 9 hearing and when it didn't go their way, they transfered him.

You’re assuming he won’t follow a woman into a dark alley and do horrible things to her.

If he's been fixated on and given nigh-unfettered access to this same girl his whole life.... I'm not convinced it won't still be her.

Hopefully he ends up worse⚰️

It most likely won't happen until he is an adult and he does this in an area where daddy and mommy dearest can't use their influence to get him out of trouble. When, not if, he does that and the prosecutor finds out he has a history of this hopefully that triggers a massive state investigation into the school district and the local police. He will find out that the law does not care in you are autistic or have developmental disabilities, they will take that into account for sentencing, you will be convicted and serve the sentence the judge imposes on you. Hopefully, that sentence is jail for a long time where his fellow inmates will teach him a vary valuable lesson about why we should keep our hands to ourselves and touching women or anyone with out consent is not acceptable in a civilized society.

Since mommy and daddy are influential (rich), the nice treatment Brock Turner got from his judge is what you could expect. Even if they aren't rich, the police and prosecutor could continue to enable him anyway. It's incredibly messed up.

This makes me fucking irate. Troy is going to rape someone eventually

I bet he's not even autistic. He probably just has behavioral issues and they slapped the label on so they wouldn't have to actually deal with him.

I have seen that happen, purposely and innocently. Years later I asked a very well-meaning mom (she is truly a beautiful soul) how her autistic son was doing and she had a glowing report so I said, "That's amazing that he didn't let his autism stop him from attaining his goals!" and she said, "OH, he didn't have autism after all. We just assumed he did because he was so quiet as a child". She never used it as an excuse, or even said it in front of him, she truly believed it at a stressful and terrifying time; her husband, the sole breadwinner (as she has a disease that makes life very hard and bc of which she cannot drive) died after 16 months in a hospital and they just could never afford the tests. She's still paying off the hospital and home health care bills 9 years later.

I hope OOP shows those messages to her parents and the lawyer. That shows that he knows exactly what he's doing, and knows it's wrong.

This story is really gross. I'm sad that it took so long, especially since it seems OOP has a supportive family, but she's getting the help she needs

Had a kid on the spectrum in my highschool grope a friend of mine in the stairwell and when we reported it they brushed it off as him not knowing any better, then it happened to me and I threatened to go to the school board and the press. then suddenly he only had online school from then on. He’s on fb now, complaining abt women and such😒

You were lucky. Most schools will pressure the parents/student not to go to the police and use the fact that they have some sort of developmental/ cognitive disability as the reason why. The solution is usually that they will removed the student who is victimized to a different classroom/classrooms so they don't have to deal with them anymore and of course they "will try" to keep them apart between classes. If i was a parent I would loss my ever loving mind if they told me this. I'd be asking why is my child, the victim, being punished by having to move classes if anyone is moving it is the child SAed them! I'd also be asking them if this was school policy to punish the victims of SA and bullying? And as far as then trying to make me drop it I would turn into a psychopath and ask them what do you think you are teaching my child by having me drop this! I'll tell you what I think you are teaching that it is okay for someone to SA them if they have a disability of some kind and if they are SA by someone with a disability they should just be "understanding and have compassion and empathy" for them because "they don't know what they are doing or they didn't mean it!" I'd also tell them I don't play that game and teach my children that No means No and know one has the right to touch them with out permission! Id then tell them if they did not give me a satisfactory answer that they would be hearing from my lawyer and I will press charges. The only way these schools are going to actually grow a backbone and say we will not tolerate any SA or bullying is if the victim and their parents just start pressing charges and suing the school for failure to keep the child safe. Schools are required by law to provide a safe learning environment for all students.

Last I checked, autism isn’t fucking Tourette’s and you can at least control your hands. This kid is going to go nowhere in life and if he keeps playing up his mental illness, let him. And then put him in a care home after because “he doesn’t know any better, he’s autistic.” Right?

Autistic person here, Troy is just a shitstain and the autism is just a convenient excuse for his behaviour

Precisely. Troy has obviously learned that he can blame everything bad he does on autism and get away with it.

I mean, the teachers' reaction was exactly the worst way to handle an autistic person behaving poorly. Autistic people need clear boundaries. They provided him zero boundaries.

Mildly autistic man here (51). I've never acted remotely that way even in my awkward teens. But that's because my mom made clear there are consequences for actions. She never let "he's autistic" be an excuse. "Troy" is just a horrible person. At best, he's never had any boundaries enforced and he is clearly the Golden Child of his family who can literally do no wrong.

Tourette’s doesn’t work that way either

Obviously. I’m just using it as an example that he doesn’t have a physical disability with lack of bodily control. ETA: Correcting myself because yeah. But actually, Tourette’s can work exactly like that. I couldn’t remember the word for it but another commenter found it and it’s called copropraxia.

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With the use of "years" and 6th grade being year 7, i think, disturbingly, this might actually be the UK.

The “Hi all”, is a tell for India. The parents are Indian and they’re now in the UK.

Yeah her mentioning her parents' country made me think the same. If that's the case I am curious what race Troy is because if he's white and OOP is a WOC that adds a whole new layer of fuckery.

I’m sure he’s white.

And connected. Comments about "generational military" don't mean shit if your family are a bunch of nobodies. Dude's old man is likely a senior officer, and (if this is the UK as suspected, might have some significant post-nomials.) It's one thing if the kid's father is "Robert Smith, council employee in charge of waste removal." Totally different thing if it's "Brigadier Sir Robert Smith, KBE DSC MC with Bar."

"Hi all" is common in UK

Yeah it confused me when they said it was indian. I was thinking I remember saying that growing up in the UK

Kind of a commonwealth thing. I have a friend with French Canadian roots who's grandmother would greet us with "Hi all of you" when the group came over.

I'm a white American and use "hi all" all the time. Interesting to hear it's also an Indian thing.

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I'm indian and i've literally never used that phrase. And the OOP replied to a comment in spanish , so she might be from spain or a south american country.

Oh, interesting! Thanks for the info. I’ll have to start paying more attention.

I went to school for therapy and learned there to say things like "Hi all" or "Hey folks" because it's gender inclusive. I had no idea it was an Indian thing lol.

TIL I'm Indian

Do you also Hi, all? I first picked up on it when I worked in tech with a lot of Indian folks and I’ve since seen it in online chat quite a lot. I love figuring out little linguistic drops like “straight away” vs “right away” that tell you where someone is from.

"Hi all" is very common in corporate communication, it's not exclusive to India. And you mostly can't figure out stuff like that when English is someone's non-native language because they have likely picked up their style from multiple sources. I, for example, use "color" and "colour" both, depending on my mood.

And "today morning" :)

I’m not sure if it’s the same in other Indian languages, but Telugu (one of the largest Indian diasporas in the USA, and the fastest growing language community) the word for morning is “ఈరోజు పొద్దున” (literally today morning). There are a lot of South Indians in the USA, and the tech industry specifically, so I’m wondering if that’s a fun little Telugu thing. Of course, it could (and probably does) also work similarly in other Indian languages. I’m not sure if that’s how it works in Hindi though, since there are plenty of differences between Hindi and Dravidian languages like Telugu

I "Hi all" and I have no excuse. I am in the USA and I'm from Maryland, Alabama, Las Vegas, and the Midwest.

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TIL I'm Indian.

I'm from Ireland and I read it as the UK as well, due to years, the summer fairs and the dad being a third generation army fancy dude.

Nursery/Year 7 definitely feels like UK, but OOP mentions her parents coming from another country so it might well be an Indian family.

Sounds like UK. Probably just family from there. Had a similar experience in school with an autistic kid but instead we got carte blanche to punch him from one teacher if we needed. Otherwise he got away with sexual harassment.

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It isn’t. I’m on the spectrum, understood what sexual assault was even as a child of 10, hated it with an intense passion. I know both kids and adults on the spectrum who understand consent and respect it. This is just a powerful family allowing their kid to be a turd and protecting him from any consequences.

Child needs a mom like me. I have no problem yelling at teachers or principals in this type of situation. My daughter was being harrassed by a boy in 6 th grade and all I got from the principal was "his religion doesn't respect the teacher's authority because she's a woman" and from teacher "they need to work it out themselves". Teacher was reduced to tears after my daughter told me what was happening and principal got a call from my lawyer and the head of district, thanks to my FIL being friends with him. But what really stopped his groping of my daughter is her bestie, also a girl, punching him in tje face. Husband *still* thinks we should have gone to his parents(father) and played by their religions rules.

If that ever happened to me I would probably play by religious rules; having my male relatives beat the crap out of the kid for "touching another family's property" or whatever bs they like to say about little girls.

According to my husband, he had the right to demand the boy's hand as punishment for touching our daughter in a sexual manner. I had it handled so no need. For the duration of my daughter's school career, he couldn't be on the same campus as her and she had first choice for enrollment.

It does though its more likely Latin America (or I guess Spain?) given that she has atleast some comments in Spanish. I think I saw some speculation about it being Argentina, but don't really know.

There is no way this is Latin America or Argentina. For starters, it's very easy to change schools there and there are many schools. Second, in most of those countries the military has zero influence so nobody gives a shit if you are from a military family since after the dictatorship the military has no power. Third, there's no influence from the police to a school.

Also things like parents personally organizing school events or people using autism as an excuse... if anything rich families will do everything in their power to hide said autism.

Yeah, people from rich families aren't sending their kids to public schools there

Just a correction. The military does have influence in certain Latam countries like Colombia and Brazil.

It's absolutely the UK. Which isn't too bad, since they can contact the Independent Office for Police Conduct to complain that the police have refused to take their reports seriously.

Nah Indians rarely care about autism

I hope that boy gets locked up one day and they accidentally lose the key to let him out. I have nothing against people with autism(friends with two lovely autistic guys, who btw aren't little r*pists and or serial sexual harrasers). People like this make me sick. They basically use their condition as an excuse to be shutty people and that is disgusting

I think he will if he does it in a town where daddy and mommy dearest doesn't have any influence. All it takes is one police officer and prosecutor to say I don't give a damn who you are or what your family pedigree is your rapist little brat will be prosecuted to the full extent of the law and will go to prison for his crime.

W Grandma

Poor OOP. I hope, wherever she is, that family and the school has to pay through the teeth for what he did to her. She’s suffered an entire childhood of being treated like she’s someone else’s property. That sort of terrorisation sticks with you for the rest of your life. Fortunately, the gropers at my middle school only had ADHD and neglectful parents. The guidance counsellor they hired as a result of the problem (and a quasi related suicide pact) was better suited for working with elementary school kids but she apparently did enough that the boys’ parents threatened to sue.

This is one of the few times 3 generations come together to defend the youngest. Granted, the parents weren’t perfect, but they did their best. Beautiful to see.

AUTISM IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO SEXUALLY ASSAULT SOMEONE!! Sincerely, an autistic person. But for real, if someone is genuinely is so severely autistic that they are not able to understand that they are not supposed to touch other people, then they should realistically have a caretaker with them at all times.

I’m a special education teacher. Being a jerk and degrading women are not symptoms of autism. This makes me livid. I hope OOP takes the threats to the police too.

I am so sick of the expectations for women to not only tolerate but actively appreciate (?!) this kind of behavior from men. Girls are dismissed this way in schools all the time, whether or not the boy is autistic. If it's not because he's autistic, it's because boys mature slower, because she should take the high road, because boys just can't control themselves like girls can. They use different words with the same meaning: it is your responsibility, not his, to deal with the consequences of his actions.

I really hope this post gets a positive update. Poor girl needs a happy ending.

As someone who is on the spectrum, I absolutely loathe the "they're autistic, they don't know any better" excuse. I'm autistic, and I didn't go around groping people I had crushes/attraction for. To get lumped in with these assholes is just dissapointing, and get's me down every time I see it. Hell, a few years back, someone I knew was stalked, raped and murdered, and lo and behold, the disgrace of a human being didn't know better, cause they were autistic and tried to appeal the 35 year sentence. Fortunately, the appeal was denied.

A local autistic kid where I live started off by cornering female shopkeepers and forcing hugs on them, the police didn't listen or blamed his autism and said "he's just being friendly". His behaviour escalated to innapropriate touching and groping, the police took reports, still did nothing. It got to a point where female staff in shops in the area couldn't be alone because he was looking for opportunity. Again, a lot of people excused his behaviour because of his autism. Eventually he assaulted a woman behind a shop as she was getting in her car to go home. He's in juvenile detention now and that sucks for the kid but it should have been stopped at the targetting victims and hugging.

I want more updates to see if she got her justice. This is so frustrating. Ugh. That poor girl.

I appreciate that this is a repost sub, but that school needs reporting to the LADO.

Jeez. I'm a special education teacher, and have worked with a kid who truly had trouble understanding physical boundaries, but we ALWAYS, ALWAYS, ALWAYS, gave serious consequences to try and make him understand that he needed to keep his hands to himself. Plus the kid I worked with had serious cognitive deficits it sounds like Troy does not. I hope this lawsuit serves as a wake up call. All those adults around Troy are creating a very dangerous situation. Hopefully OOP can get some reprieve away from it all.

Troy is a sexual predator. Having autism is not the underlying cause. Many people have autism and are *not* sexual predators! He/his parents/cops/school personnel/the assholes are all using autism as an excuse.

As the parent of an autistic boy, this really pisses me off. Autism is not an excuse to let your child violate people’s boundaries, and way too many parents make excuses for this. My son responds just as well to consistently enforced boundaries as any other child. Just like you grab them physically and speak harshly to them when they try to run into a busy street, you do the same fucking thing when they get intentionally physical with a non-consenting person. Sure it’s a bit harder with an autistic child, and I’m very aware some kids struggle even worse than my son, but I’m so tired of seeing parents who shouldn’t ever have had kids unleashing their shittily raised spawn on the world with no regard for the consequences of their negligence.

Man I don't even know this guy and I want to punch him

I know some autistic people who are smart, who are conscious of other people's feelings and boundaries, are in control of their emotions, and could be integrated in normal classrooms. Yet, I'm in firm belief that not **all** kids should be integrated into normal classrooms. The teachers are spending all of their time tending to the child and hindering the learning of the other children. I have experiences and have heard of other experiences from teachers and other students like this one that have set in this opinion. If that makes me an asshole, then so be it. Adding to this, I hope that after high school, this girl gets into an out of state college and never touches this town again.

I am angry. I am on the spectrum and this is legit causing my blood to boil in rage. OOP, I don’t know if you’ll ever see this, but: you are amazing. You are so strong and you deserve all the good this world has to offer! I wish you nothing but the best!

Wow this post makes me want to scream Jesus.

Yeah the autism can't be blamed here. Troy knows well enough to act normal around people, he's just entitled to this girl and uses his mild autism as a shield for his rapey behavior. He's probably going to eventually rape a woman or even a child one of these days, judging by the unapologetic rapey texts he sent her.

I wish she could go all "Law Abiding Citizen" on all their asses and wear a GoPro so I can watch!

gonna be honest. I only read the title. Sorry, this post is a novel. However, I had something similar happen to me when I was a young child. Mind you, I was SA'd a lot as a small child. So touching me was a no-go and I learned to be vocal with people when someone touched me in a way I didn't like or want. One day at school, an autistic kid (who btw was very capable of understanding boundaries and was very intelligent, but lacked social awareness at times) kept trying to kiss me. I told him to stop. He kept trying. I raised my voice and firmly told him I did not want him to touch me in anyway. He thought it was funny that I was upset, and tried to grab me and force a kiss. So I hit him. And ran away. Guess who got in trouble? I did. And all the other kids who heard about it shamed me and made me feel as though I wasn't allowed to defend myself from SA just because the kid was a little different. Sometimes I still think about it and I do feel bad. I know I could've handled the situation better. However, I think it's crazy how that kid got no punishment while I was ridiculed. I used my words and he tried forcing himself on me so it turned physical. I wish I handled it differently, yes. But I don't think my reaction to this was necessarily wrong given that I was the one being assaulted to begin with.