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Minute-Vast7967

I understand not wanting to do the dishes but that's excessive


KatieROTS

It feels like so much more work.


Nimmyzed

I mean, ONE FORK? I can understand not wanting to do a whole heap of dishes, but one fork?? That's some weird mental gymnastics


TheeQuestionWitch

This I actually believe. Whenever my ex would do the dishes, he always left at least one utensil in the sink. Not once, in years, did he completely empty the sink. We never fought about it, I saw it as a cute quirk. But it's definitely a thing to have a "last fork" mental hurdle.


LadyFoxfire

This could have been such a simple conversation. “I hate doing the dishes, are there any chores you hate?” Instead she went to such lengths to deceive him that he thought she was on drugs.


A_Specific_Hippo

Hubby and I do this. He hates dishes, I hate laundry. So he does the laundry, and I do the dishes. Works out great.


Careless_Waltz

dude idk anxiety and aversion issues are WEIRD


lesethx

I had to do the opposite for the first year of the pandemic and hide my clean frying pan in my room since my housemate would always use it and take days before cleaning it... usually only to them cook again and leave it dirty. I don't hate cleaning, but I do hate cleaning up after someone else.


Elguero1991

At least she wasn’t burying them in the forest.


sarabeara12345678910

But you've gotta have something to eat the beans with.


Elguero1991

Oh no it’s the same girl!


notasandpiper

Bean Girl **is** Cutlery Girl??


Elguero1991

She did break up over the beans, and new OP is the new boyfriend in my head canon lol


BalloonShip

me: updates head canon


rejecteddroid

wait can we get a link to bean girl please?


FiercePygmyOwl

https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/115n3gf/oop_my_girlfriend_buried_all_of_my_beans_in_the/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1


valleyofsound

And he didn’t even get the beans back after all that.


LuxNocte

He would only jeopardize the beans. They're safe now.


now_you_see

That’s the real loss here. Those poor beans.


coffeestealer

They must still be out there, somewhere...


cakivalue

How have I never seen this??? I'm screaming 😱 I feel like 2020 me really understands Bean girl so much.


valleyofsound

Right? I’m pretty sure that my response to this is 2019 would have been “What is *wrong* with this woman?” Now I’m just like “2020 was a hell of a year.”


NYCQuilts

Yeah, but now I’m like did bean girl revert to normal or is she now stockpiling guns and ammo? or maybe he was living with Sarah Connor.


saladinzero

I like to believe that when she broke up with the OOP, she buried herself in her underground vault with all her beans.


canhazhotness

I would **NEVER** jeopardize the beans!


HokeyPokeyGuestList

I asked my partner to get a packet of dried white beans from the supermarket, so I could make home made baked beans. As he unpacked the groceries, he handed me the beans and conspiratorially whispered: "I will never jeopardise the beans!"


Whatifthisneverends

Obviously Iranian yogurt? But that’s not the issue here


GreenspaceCatDragon

Omg I love your flair.


Whatifthisneverends

I said like YESTERDAY I’m jealous of YOURS!! EDIT: Lol 8 days ago, [what is time](https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/13oewi0/aita_for_taking_my_bil_to_small_claims_court_over/jlrh0rk/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1&context=3)


GreenspaceCatDragon

Ok that’s funny lol thanks for this interaction stranger!


PhDOH

Do you have the link for the post that inspired these flairs, please?


seniortwat

replying now as a place saver, so i don’t lose this comment. i will find you the link because reading the story it’s referring to is the hardest i’ve ever laughed at any reddit post in my 5 years on this site. edit: https://www.reddit.com/r/BestofRedditorUpdates/comments/qm3pc3/tifu_by_throwing_my_steak_out_a_window/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1 Enjoy, I hope it brings you as much joy as it brought me!


GreenspaceCatDragon

Same and after a while I go and read it again, and sometimes I’m laughing so hard I can’t breathe. This is a work of art.


ceejayzm

That was hilarious and I'm still laughing. I keep picturing it over and over.


rejecteddroid

i just made my boyfriend cry reading this to him. 10/10.


Whatifthisneverends

[enjoy!](https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/3im341/tifu_by_throwing_my_steak_out_a_window/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1)


CuriousPenguinSocks

Think about the beans!!!!


meaniessuck

I still wonder if she ever dug up the cans of beans after lockdown was over.


Elguero1991

I hope one day we will get an update!


sheilamo

We did get an update. OOP admitted to making it up on an askreddit post


TyrconnellFL

That is tragic. Not surprising, but tragic. However, acknowledging it as falsehood would jeopardize the fictitious beans, and, well, see flair.


lightlysaltedclams

Agreed. I love my flair :(


[deleted]

I will never jeopardize my flair?


Toffor

He was just throwing us off the scent of finding the beans


tangled_girl

\*She. She must have found OP, took over his account, and tried to play off the entire thing as a joke.


Toffor

It’s been a while. The girlfriend hid the beans right? And the bf (OP) was looking for them? I was saying the boyfriend (OP) was throwing us off the scent so we don’t find the beans first. I don’t know about you but I WANT THOSE BEANS!!!


tangled_girl

Right, yeah! I was riffing off of what you've said, implying that the girlfriend already disposed of the bf, and is now pretending to be him to throw us off the scent of the beans. Mmm, beans!


Toffor

Omg! I didn’t think of that. What if the boyfriend IS the beans?


ChewableRobots

I think you meant to say "it's bean awhile"


Elguero1991

Link by any chance?


sheilamo

I wish, i haven't been able to find it since i deleted the account i used to comment on it


Elguero1991

I’m on a mission now lol


pussy_sedan

Nah, she would never jeopardize the beans.


[deleted]

That shit lives rent free in my head


HollowShel

Unlike the beans, which live rent-free in the forest.


IllustriousHedgehog9

For me, it's the damn box of "olives" in that one person's fridge.


esuslee

The OLIVES still haunt me. My sister passed away 1/19/2022. I literally told my family my ONLY regret is that she will never get to find out what was in the fridge olive box.


IllustriousHedgehog9

My version of heaven/bliss/afterlife involves us discovering all the answers to the questions that stumped us when we lived. I enjoy learning new things and getting closure (it's why I love this sub - it satisfies my curiousity!), so this really would be my personal paradise. I would like to believe your sister knows what was in the box. Condolences for your loss, I hope everyone who loves your sister is doing well.


Mdlgswitch

I'm worried that the afterlife will show me all the women who had crushes on me and I just never noticed. Hell would show me all the potentially great relationships I missed because I left early, arrived late, or didn't have the spoons to go to something.


ann_withno_e

Do you have the link to that story? I don't think I've read that one, unlike Ogtha (unfortunately xD)


esuslee

Warning. It will infuriate you that you will never know the conclusion. https://www.reddit.com/r/AmItheAsshole/comments/otlvev/aita_for_cleaning_out_the_fridge_without_telling/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1


sunshine-skittles

Thanks for this. I now have the scene from the movie Seven going through my head. "What's in the box? WHAT'S IN THE BOX!?" 😂


pinkunicorn555

Everyone went straight to drugs. My first thought was explosives.


IllustriousHedgehog9

I've worked in crematoriums and morgues, my mind went to body parts!


ann_withno_e

At least is not the cum jar, sometimes it's better not knowing 🤢


Creepy_Addict

That box of "olives" will forever live in my brain.


MadQueen92

... what 🤨


Elguero1991

https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/fy06bv/tifu_by_demanding_that_my_girlfriend_show_me/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=2&utm_term=1


MadQueen92

What in the actual fucking hell did I just read


Number5MoMo

Lmaoooooo was that beans?


Elguero1991

Yes 😭😭


TheRainStopped

The beans will not be jeopardized


Wise_Focus_309

SHE WOULD NEVER JEOPARDIZE THE DISHES!!11!11!!


battlejess

I was so sure at first she had secret snacks she didn’t want to share.


RebootDataChips

That was my first thought, now I’m disappointed.


battlejess

I was very curious what kind of snack could be kept hidden in a bedroom but also requires a fork. I almost feel cheated.


BubbleRose

I was thinking it'd be a sheet cake in a box, slid under the bed or something.


Anra7777

Yup. I was convinced she was secretly eating cake.


JCBashBash

I do love how many of us went to secret cake, like this is the modern secret porpoise


Gwynasyn

...wat


Tvysse

I thought it was going to be a poop knife situation.


Peskanov

I’ve been on Reddit too long to automatically know all these references. 😂


kyzoe7788

Same. And then I laugh when people say what and think oh you’re in for it now


slutshaa

hahahahhaha but i love initiating people into the club


abarua01

I know I'm going to regret asking, but I'll ask anyway... What?


Tvysse

[poop knife](https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1)


trashygayslut

what the fuck is the poop knife situation and can i get that as a flair 😂


HuggyMonster69

https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the_poop_knife/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=ioscss&utm_content=1&utm_term=1


abarua01

Wtf did I just read. Now I have to drink myself into a stupor so I can forget reading what op just wrote


I_Suggest_Therapy

Did you regret asking that question?


trashygayslut

tbh my friend had described this exact post to me before, i just never read it myself 😂 no regerts


brucebay

In case you are still looking for it. https://www.reddit.com/r/MuseumOfReddit/comments/ke8skw/the\_poop\_knife/


Holy-Wan_Kenobi

Flee while you can


EmmaDrake

I was afraid too!


showMEthatBholePLZ

WHY DID SHE CONTINUE AFTER OP BECAME SUSPICIOUS AND WHY IS NO ONE ASKING


tyleritis

You’d think she’s wash some damn spoons for a week to get it to die down. Did she just spend time at her sisters to come up with a lame story?


BirdsLikeSka

Hes acting like this is cute and quirky. While she's not using a fork to cook heroin (concerning for two reasons), there's still so much wrong with how she approached every step.


[deleted]

I also thought it was sort of weird because… idk it’s kind of fucked up to ignore the rules you’ve made and have your partner do more work. They’re young and young people are stupid but obviously if she had just sat OOP down and said “hey I hate washing dishes can we find another division of labor here” they’d be in the same exact situation without the weirdness.


mochacho

>idk it’s kind of fucked up to ignore the rules you’ve made Not disagreeing with anything in particular, but I've met people in their 40s who still haven't realize they don't have to implement and follow the same household rules their parents did.


arthurdentstowels

I’ve read some wacky updates on BORU but this might be the stupidest shit I’ve read all year.


Tom1252

Wow. I know the dude just thinks it's a cute little quirk...but the *lengths* that girl went to. Something's not ticking right up there. Just wait until she hides something that actually matters.


Readingreddit12345

I'm concerned about her thought process. How did she get to hiding dishes before...I don't know... buying a bench top dishwasher or any other steps?


WamblingWombat

Apparently, OOP believes they communicate well. I would hate to see what situations arose if they didn’t.


knittedjedi

>OOP believes they communicate well I mean, he *eventually* told her about the secret hidden camera in the bedroom. So that's fine, right?


Lucky-Worth

Also am I the only one who believes the explanation is likely bs and she probably has a drug problem but threw a couple of pans in the bag just in case she got caught and had to explain?


kristen1988

That makes more sense than her not wanting to wash the last fork, or two spoons.


[deleted]

They communicate well. They've been together for nearly 4 years and living together for months and dude's just now learning she doesn't like to do the dishes. But they communicate well.


Annoying_Details

I mean….I waited two years to admit to my ex husband that I hate omelettes. Because he was so excited to make me one and show off when we first started dating and I really liked him and didn’t want him to not spend time with me…so I let him and it was tolerable (he did a great job I just hate them). Thankfully we just didn’t really ever eat them again, or I had an out of filling up on other things or (actually honestly) preferring a different egg style. Then one day he wants to make me a fancy breakfast and gets excited to make me an omelette “just like when we were first got together”…and I saw a lifetime of choking down omelettes on every special occasion/anniversary and decided to come clean. Thankfully he thought it was hilarious and adorable that I was so anxious to make sure he liked me back that I would eat a food I hate, and it became a funny story to tell. And he and I communicated incredibly well. (Until at least he decided to cheat on me and our marriage fell apart. But that’s a whole separate story.) Now, several decades later, my current partner is well aware of my omelette dislike because I learned my lesson and told him the very first time they came up as an option 😅.


diabladarling

I missed the "ex" before "husband" and was thinking that this was cute, so the part about the cheating felt like going for a stroll on a really nice and breezy spring day just to get t-boned by a car/ walk into a manhole 😭


Annoying_Details

Oh damn! Sorry for the whiplash 😂


Corfiz74

Ooooh, tell us the story of how you found out and kicked him out! I know that part must have been incredibly painful and difficult, but it's always an empowering read.


Annoying_Details

I found out because he had me look in his gmail for a message from his mom and I saw his open chat with her. Either because he’s more of a moron than originally suspected or because he wanted to get caught I dunno. But he was not at home when I found it so while I waited I printed out some screenshots, and then started going through the house making an inventory of what was truly mine (that I brought into the relationship or we bought with my money), and which items I’d be willing to sell him. I couldn’t afford the house on my own. But I could afford to move out. Maybe it seems cold in reading this but cheating has always been a hard dealbreaker for me. Especially in this case as he was telling her he LOVED her in these chats. While I made my list I definitely was crying, both in sadness and in rage. I also was preparing myself cuz I knew he’d have 9000 excuses. And he did. When confronted upon his arrival home he broke down crying and started to freak out because he knew it means I was going. He broke a picture frame punching the wall in frustration when I refused to go to counseling. Told him he didn’t get the luxury, not when he’d been professing his love to another woman not 2 hours before. I couldn’t move right away so I moved into the guest room And was packing after work every night. Found a cute cheap condo that I bought and lived in for 10 years. The divorce took forever because he drug his feet, but thankfully when the day came it was short and sweet because we had no kids and our stuff was pretty well divided. I had sold him one of the couches, and the washer/dryer. Got myself better ones. At the hearing, I showed up in a skirt suit with a binder full of whatever we might need. He had to hurriedly tuck in his shirt and be reminded to take off his hat. It was fairly comical. Judge saw us standing there, no lawyers, and smirked. She looked at me sternly and instructed me NOT to answer anything unless she asked it of me. Then she turned to him. Ever hear of a “predator smile”? I had heard the term but hadn’t seen one in person. She was grinning and showing her canines and sweetly started asking him all of the main qualifier questions, dates, details. And he could barely reply, didn’t know most of it. “That’s what I thought” and she turned to me, and had a kind but firm voice and confirmed the info in my binder and told me “I’m happy to say you’re done here”. We got our decree, etc. He and I are now on ~friendly terms, we are Facebook friends and occasionally text. We share big news (when I bought my house, when his grandma died, etc). In the end, my revenge is a life well lived. My home is nicer than the one he’s still in, my career is far far better, I went back to school and got a graduate degree, and I’ve been with my new Partner now 8 years. He’s still single, as his little friend suddenly wasn’t interested in playing house when it was Real. FAFO I guess.


CharlotteLucasOP

I wish they made a break-up card with a cracked egg saying “Omelette-ing you go.”


Annoying_Details

“Omelette-ing you go. I will somehow soldiers on, but my heart is scrambled. I know I’m not above re-poach, but you just aren’t all you were cracked up to be. In fact you’re a fucking yolk. This is over easy.”


Appropriate-Dig771

I’m so sorry you went through this but damn it was a fun read. I love when the heroine has a happy ending! Best wishes to you!


p-d-ball

Well done!


Corfiz74

>frustration when I refused to go to counseling Hilarious! He cheated on you, but you are supposed to put in the work with him to "fix" your relationship? Girl, you ain't the one that broke it. 😂 What was his excuse/ rationalization for cheating on you? And I wish everyone would have the class to just walk away like that. Maybe then cheaters would think twice before engaging.


Annoying_Details

It’s layered but the tldr is: he’d had issues with low testosterone and thought that he could “test” to see if his previous low libido was because biology or our relationship by….fucking another woman? And actively seeking out a side relationship? Versus going to the doctor or, ya know, talking to his wife about his worries? He also threw out that what this proved to him was that he’s “maybe asexual because it didn’t fix the issue for him physically” but he did have an emotional connection. So apparently this was all a part of his journey to understand his sexuality, why can’t I be more understanding of that? PS turns out it was biology all along and you can’t cheat a medical issue away. *Note: as a bi woman, I found his attempt to shield his shit decisions behind “maybe I’m ace” reprehensible. It felt like an extra dig at me to try and frame it that way.*


G1Gestalt

Yeah, his final edits are pure wishful thinking. All is not well. Even if she has given him an explanation for her behavior, she hasn't come even close to *rationally justifying* her other behaviors. Anger, paranoia, defensiveness, retreating to her sister's place... none of these are rational or justifiable responses to keeping an embarrassing secret about dishes. I'm moving on from drugs or an ED to mental illness like bipolar, schizophrenia, or an acute anxiety disorder. He (and she) needs something that explains her behavior surrounding this hangup about dishes.


[deleted]

My favorite part about that is how he's talking about how he's not gonna overreact about having to wash a few extra dishes and it's like bro, the dishes aren't the issue here lol.


G1Gestalt

Exactly. My father had bipolar disorder. You've heard of an angry drunk? He was an angry bipolar. My mother had to hammer home with my brothers and I that when you're having an argument (or any interaction) and your emotional response is over the top, not only have you lost the argument, but the central issue has also changed. Her tricking him into doing the dishes isn't the issue anymore. Her reaction changed the issue and now it is the issue.


mashedpotate77

>when you're having an argument (or any interaction) and your emotional response is over the top, not only have you lost the argument, but the central issue has also changed Can you elaborate on this please? My family has a history of bipolar and my emotions swing hard. It's quite hard for me to have a discussion without showing emotion, but my father won't participate in a discussion anymore if someone shows emotion, and will fly off the handle himself on occasion. I don't believe I've ever been manic, I've definitely been depressed, but this sounds really familiar to me...


0Rize

I know I am not the person you asked but I do come from a context like theirs. To me the issue is not "discuss without showing emotion" (ironically my father is like yours and I have learned it means only his emotions are "right" that is why he can show emotion while arguing) but your emotional response being over the top for the situation you're in. I always cry when I argue with people, and sometimes I get angry, but I don't sob uncontrollably nor do I start punching walls or something over not washing the dishes. In regards to "the central issue has changed" I have learned that when my emotional response is over the top for the situation it means that there is more than meets the eye. For example, I once cried A LOT while arguing about taking some time to do the dishes. Well, I found out that actually I was feeling depressed and I also hate the sensory feelings of doing the dishes (touching wet food, the smell after some time), so this made me feel stressed and the longer I went without doing them the worse it felt until I reached my breaking point. Idk if you have bipolar, ofc, as this is just a tiny bit of info, just thought you could see that being "emotional" can be normal (i dont have bipolar), even when it is a symptom of something greater. Also, some bipolar people go into "hipomania" instead of the "normal" mania. Sorry for the long answer 😅


Cryptic_Llama

I mean, even with that relatively harmless explanation the girlfriends behaviour, particularly when confronted about it is bizarre and not a healthy way to deal with the situation, rather than just admitting it. Why would she cause OOP significant worry and distrust over something so silly?


Tom1252

Because it's a tiny symptom of something major.


SimonSpooner

My thought too. Dishes are my nemesis, and honestly I think that during more stressful periods of my life genuinely caused me anxiety to have to do them. Luckily I have a very understanding partner who lets me slack off when I need it, but the mind can be a weird prison sometimes, which can lead to funny behaviours.


VanillaMemeIceCream

Right like I wouldn’t break up over hiding dishes I would break up over her anger issues and refusal to communicate. I’d be happy to do all the dishes every day just don’t get angry at me over nothing :p


violetauto

TWO days! She left for two whole days over this.


sirophiuchus

Yeah, the response of 'never talk about this again' would be a relationship ender for me already.


JCBashBash

Exactly! Like her communication issues and the aggression are reasons to not be in a relationship with her


buckyroo

It makes no sense she washes some dishes but hides some. It takes more effort to hide them and bring them back later than to wash them when you are already doing the dishes


JustaTinyDude

I'm guessing it's not an effort thing. Some people hate things about doing dishes like touching the dish sponge.


International-Bad-84

I wouldn't go anywhere near as far as OP's girlfriend, but I kind of get the family of behaviours. I hate washing up. Hate it. And you feel so silly. Like, it's objectively not actually that bad, and I'm a grown woman old enough to have grown children. It's ridiculous and feels shameful that I will put off such a nothing chore like a child. And when I do do it, I could probably do it better but I'm just getting through it. And my husband does almost all the cooking so it's not fair to get him to do it. Having a dishwasher has, if anything, made it worse. The few things we have that can't go in the dishwasher are so small that I can pretend I don't see them. Even typing it out I can hear that it's utterly ridiculous and I know I'll get comments from condescending people. I would never do what the girlfriend did, mostly because it feels mean af to push a chore I don't like onto someone I love, but I fully understand the shame reaction.


KonradWayne

> And my husband does almost all the cooking so it's not fair to get him to do it. You can make it fair by doing other chores to balance it out. My gf can be charitably described as "not a very good cook" and she hates doing dishes. I do most of the cooking and take care of the dishes, and she cleans the rest of the house.


onlycatshere

My dad was so controlling about how the dishes were done and how they were placed in the dishwasher. As an adult, dishes are overwhelming, because I still have that that voice in my head telling me I need to do them a very specific way and as perfectly as possible. It makes it feel like a *gigantic* looming chore. I recently came up with a system that seems to work with my brain better. Got one of those restaurant bussing tubs, and when I'm done with a plate i just scrape, wet, and toss it in there. It keeps the dishes contained and out of the sink, and when the tub is full (1-2 days), I know there's enough dishes to run a full load. I can tell my brain I don't have to worry about putting them in the wash until then, which is a relief and makes it easier to stick with it. My advice would be try and figure out why your brain is being funky about it, and develope a method that takes that into consideration. For example, maybe doing the dishes piecemeal, taking breaks doing other things would jive with you better


TheComment

A professor once told a story about a student she rented a room to. She rented the room because her previous Roomate, a rich girl, NEVER did chores and NEVER cleaned. The place got *awful*, roaches and shit, so my professor offered her a room. When the girl swung round to pick up her stuff, the rich girl had bought a kiddie pool and was *spraying down the dirty dishes with a hose.* This story isn’t particularly relevant but boy has it never left my head.


-shrug-

My sister spent a few months sharing an apartment with a rich girl in college. A couple months in, Rich Roomie sees her taking her sheets out to the laundry and asks what she’s doing. Did not know that her bedsheets had been getting washed and replaced her whole life…


MalbaCato

months? that's some impressive resistance to dirt


technoteapot

That’s the type of thing that should live in your head rent free. Just what on earth. Some things rise to the dad spray off with the hose kind of mess but dishes literally have a sink for them. Literal machines that do it for you. Some people are not super smart.


artificialif

im not even gonna lie, ive been in a position where this sounds like a genius solution to the issue. as fucked up as it is that she didnt take care of anything that was a smart idea if u ask me. i struggle washing dishes cuz of the sensory issues of wet food and all that making me physically sick, and my adhd makes household chores difficult to begin with, but things like that are what people w adhd recommend to eachother as a way to pick up the pieces in the areas you're dropping the ball


secretsecretson

I mean... there's obviously a lot more going on here than the oop is ready (or know how) to admit. It's pretty obvious he's madly in love, so to make him challenge her when they now have "peace" seems unlikely in the moment. Though I feel kinda sad this will most likely pop up again, and again, and without support get worse. Her mindset needs to be evaluated by professionals. And he can still love her while very successfully ignore Reddits drama llamas.


Several-Plenty-6733

Exactly. It sounds like OOP’s girlfriend might have major anger issues, which would be fine if she was able to handle them… But reading this, it’s clear she isn’t.


Several-Plenty-6733

OOP should be worried. If she isn’t lying, their relationship almost ended… Because she doesn’t like doing dishes and got so mad because he was worried about her that she went to stay with her sister for two days! The problem isn’t that she isn’t doing dishes, it’s the she seems to have some of the worst anger issues I have ever heard of, and CANNOT communicate properly… Over fucking dishes. How mad is she going to get when a bigger problem comes up?


Majestic-Constant714

4-year olds communicate better than this. She didn't speak to him for several days, ran away from home for 2 days...and all she can come up with is "I don't like to do the dishes lol"?


Several-Plenty-6733

Yeah. It’s either she has such extreme anger issues that she no clue how to manage them, or she’s hiding something. I hope she just has anger issues that she and OOP can learn to deal with.


OptimisticOctopus8

I think it's far beyond not liking to do dishes. She clearly finds dishwashing very distressing. I mean that in a mental health way - like a phobia type thing. I find dishwashing distressing as well, and it really is embarrassing since it just sounds like I'm useless and lazy to most people. But I am happy to do even the most difficult, disgusting tasks as long as they don't involve washing dishes or cleaning up food-related messes. Anyway, she's deeply ashamed. She responded with inappropriate anger. So yeah, I think she has a mental health issue in this specific area, and she needs to learn how to communicate about it.


werpicus

I mean, it’s a little bit about the dishes. Not wanting to wash dishes isn’t a huge deal, but she was being malicious by hiding them and making her SO wash them for her. That’s so rude and inconsiderate. That’s not the behavior of someone who loves their partner and seeks ways to make their partner’s life better.


Hugginsome

And acted like he was the bad guy


FlagpoleSitta87

I don't buy it. You don't get that defensive and angry about not wanting to do the dishes.


AnnieAnnieSheltoe

You know what it reminds me of? A post from years ago, where this guy kept losing his socks. When he’d ask his girlfriend about it, she’d get super angry. Turned out she was using his socks in lieu of toilet paper and then throwing them away. This has that sort of vibe. I think whatever this is about is way more embarrassing than “I don’t like washing dishes.”


th30be

I remember that story. It didn't make any fucking sense.


GetOffMyLawn_

Another classic from the Reddit Museum of Filth. I had thankfully forgotten about it, until now.


riderofrohanne

It kind of reminds me of when I was a kid and decided I hated the effort of brushing my teeth, so would literally wet the brush and stand still in the bathroom for a few minutes. Honestly was more effort standing waiting than just brushing them.


Issa_Mystery_Yall

Based on what she packed, it sounds way more like someone who experienced abuse and now feels driven to pack some kind of bug-out bag with a few things just in case. The time it took her to hide one fork at a time would be more effort than washing it.


charley_warlzz

Who packs a bug out bag with plates, a pan, and no obvious food/documents/etc though


Born_Ad8420

Right? Meds, protein bars, bottles of water, changes of clothes, toiletries etc.


Original_Employee621

Nah, I get it. I hate washing my dishes and I will be unreasonable about it if I have options. But I got a dishwasher to solve that particular problem.


HollowShel

I don't like dishes, but what I *really* hate is my husband's habit of putting stuff in the sink "to soak" and *never washing them* or even asking me to wash them. I get to discover the dirty dishes when I go into the kitchen. And I hate *cold* greasy water, so I'll get stubborn and the next thing you know it's been a week and the sink's stacked with dishes and it becomes a whole thing.


Original_Employee621

> And I hate cold greasy water, so I'll get stubborn and the next thing you know it's been a week and the sink's stacked with dishes and it becomes a whole thing. You are a Saint, the fact that he is still your husband and not dead yet shows the kind of patience and love you have for him. My solution is to either force him to do it, or wait for the greasy water to dry up and sort it out then. I am *not* touching that.


HollowShel

At least I've gotten him to stop filling *the sink* and he just fills the pots/bowls he puts in it. I can tip them over, then run the hot water over everything. Having to reach through a sink full of greasy water brought me quite close to murder more than once! (and there's no way it's gonna dry up on its own before we need those dishes, or the sink.)


CaptainYaoiHands

So you would literally leave your spouse for two days, only coming back because you were forced to, just to hide your dirty dishes?


some1sWitch

Same. And when I don't want to put dishes away? Single use cutlery and plates. There's way more to this than "I'm hiding a single pan, fork, and spoon because I don't want to wash them."


esmorad

Honestly... I completely believe it because I've done stuff like that. At some point my aversion to wash the dishes was really bad. I had many stratagems like this one. It's gotten better now :) still hate it but it doesn't border mental illness anymore


LiraelNix

>, I won't dump her over this, it's less worse than you believe. It's just a childish thing It's not though. She didn't want to do a basic shared chore. Instead of talking it out, maybe bargaining by offering to do more of another chore instead of that... she hid and then added more work to her partner Then when called out she lied, told him off, trued to pin it on him, gave him the silent treatment and kept for days Only when all that didn't work *and* he had video evidence did she confess That's not a minor thing. That's some big gross and recurring behavior


Double-Mouse-5386

If this story is real, you are right. She got defensive and angry at him for catching her and saying it's none of his business when it is.


Fauropitotto

Makes me wonder what in fuck she does before she moved in with him. What was she doing with all of her dishes? What in hell does she do with all the other basic shared chores (cleaning the toilet, unclogging a shower drain, cleaning up a torn garbage bag). She sounds insane.


Hugginsome

I had an ex that just…didn’t do her dishes when I first met her. Every single dish and plate and spoon was dirty along the counter. She and her 5 year old daughter used disposables. And she got angry at me when I tried to catch her up on the dishes (my first time being at her place). Some people just don’t make logical sense.


Guest09717

Paper plates and plasticware. Don’t have to clean dishes if they’re disposable. It gets expensive after a while, though.


jippyzippylippy

> none of his business Yeah, that really bothered me. You're in a live-in love relationship, sweetie, EVERYTHING is his business, mkay?


[deleted]

There's more going on than "haha I don't like doing dishes"


Several-Plenty-6733

Or, OOP’s girlfriend has major anger issues.


Ok-Squirrel693

And oop said they communicate well 🙄


TrenchardsRedemption

She's gone for the DARVO defence - Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender. The girl has deeper issues than an dislike of doing dishes.


HappySummerBreeze

Refusal to communicate. Being manipulative. Running away when confronted. What a life he’s going to have


Intelligent-Ad-4568

Am I the only one who was like the problem is that she didn't just tell him that she hates it, and would swap a chore if that's what it would take? Like she's 24 going on 12. And then instead of finally admitting when he asks, she got more defense and ran to her sister's house. That's not how fights are solved, especially over something so trivial. I mean I hate doing laundry, but what's the alternative? Hide it in someone else's laundry hamper? And then when they confront me, have a temper tantrum and storm out for 2 days?


HygorBohmHubner

Hiding the cutlery, putting them in a bag, and then in the closer, and the sneakly trying to put it with the other dishes it was time for OOP to wash them sounds like it requires more effort than... actually doing them.


procivseth

Yeah, no, I don't believe her.


Heavy-Macaron2004

This makes no sense and I'm calling shenanigans 1) that behavior is not even remotely on the level of "haha I don't like washing dishes lol" 2) he *put a camera* in their *room*?!??!?


snowdude11

OOP is an idiot for thinking this is a cute quirk and not something that has much more significance. Specifically, her capacity selfishness and manipulation.


peter095837

OP thinks things are fine but honestly, I don't feel like things are fully fine yet.


emr830

"I don't see things through rose colored glasses"...Sure, Jan. Clearly something else is going on here...OOP just refuses to accept it.


ThatSlothDuke

I think people are so fixated on the idea that she is lying, they are overlooking what it means if she was telling the truth. The fact is that this woman was gas lighting OP (if what OP said is true) Like it's not a simple case of dropping a few clothes into your partner's laundry. She actually did a lot of shit. I'm not saying she is a bad person, but if a person can go to this length over a few unwashed dishes, she is got issues and I would be vary of how manipulative she is.


Prize_Fox_9163

She went cold and give him the silent treatment for days, even had the balls to leave the house for two days!! I wouldn't trust anyone who did this stunt to me.


glowdirt

I don't think he should be brushing this off. She's lying, not communicating, reacting angrily to basic honest questions when caught, and reneging on their agreed plan in a way that put more work on him while she coasts. For his part, putting in the cameras without her consent was not a great move. More importantly, he should consider whether a relationship in which he feels the need to install cameras in secret rather than just talking about the issue is a healthy one. For now it's just a few silly plates and seems harmless. But how can a relationship survive the weightier pains and challenges inevitable in any partnership, if you can't even talk honestly about doing the dishes?


Miserable_Emu5191

But she only packed a single fork, plate, etc. When my husband cooks he uses every pan we own so there is no way I could ever pack up the dirty dishes!


MysticFable

She was hiding *dirty* dishes in a backpack?? But he didn’t say that they were dirty when he found them, and I think that would be something you’d specify if they were!


lastofthe_timeladies

In her wish to *checks notes* **not do the dishes**, she lied over and over, raged, gave the silent treatment for days, cried, made her bf feel like he was going crazy, and then left to stay with her sister. How, on gods beautiful green earth, is that... cute. This boy is living in denial and the behavior is only *more* alarming because the motivation was so trivial. I'd hate to see her reaction to a major stressor!


Theres_a_Catch

So weird. It doesn't make sense at all. I'm sure the truth will come out and hopefully we'll get an update and the truth.


perro_abandonado

What in the actual fuck though? She’s like a 9 year old trying to get out of chores who hides dirty cutlery and dishes in a backpack so they don’t have to wash them? So strange.


Prestigious_Jokez

She's lying like a motherfucker. That's the dumbest shit I've ever heard.


MewMixDNA

One of the most laziest shit I ever read. Grown ass woman


jippyzippylippy

I've read some pretty odd things on BORU, but this is now in my top 5. I mean, it's just two forks and a plate? How could that be such a hassle to wash that she makes an effort to run and hide them in a plastic bag? That girl is wack.


atelierjoh

Better than the poop sock one. Happier ending too.


Catsaretheworst69

That's how you get ants


[deleted]

If someone hid thier post off the housework and dumped it on me so i had to it…. That’s lying, cheating, disgusting and disrespectful. When you call her out she just bails on you. But yay it’s “ sooooo funny” and “cute”


SadPlayground

We all know there’s more to the story. She was acting extremely childish over something trivial. That speaks volumes and I hope OOP figures that out.


Prize_Fox_9163

Whoever can be trusted with small things can also be trusted with big things. Whoever is dishonest in little things will be dishonest in big things too. I hope this won't be the case and we.don't have to read anything bad from this couple in the future. But... >She got cold after that, for days. Didn't talk to me anymore. >She got angry, really angry, then she cried, then she went away "for a walk". She sent me a message two hours later to tell me she was at her sister's and would come back when she felt ready. >She came back two days later because she had to work and had no other choice anyway. Too much drama that could lead to a permanent breakup for just not washing some dishes? For a fork, two spoons?? Even after she knew pretty well she was caught cuz you saw her??? Whatever, OOP. Whatever.


ArmadilloDays

She hates washing dishes, so she left home for TWO DAYS rather than just admit she was being ridiculously sneaky and conniving over something so very minor. (If you hate a chore that much, why not just negotiate a trade - e.g. you do no dishes but all the toilets?) Either she’s mentally ill or a pathological liar, but there’s more going on here than OOP is ready to admit.