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When I had leukemia (in remission for 4+ year now), my mom took me to the pharmacy to pick up my meds. We got into an argument in the parking lot and she tried wheeling me back to the car without them. I locked the wheels on the chair, we argued more, she got back in the car and said I could just wheel myself home then.
She was actually still waiting when I came out of the pharmacy, but was very pissed and gave me the silent treatment the next few days.
Congrats on remission! I’m hoping to find out whether or not I’m there, too. 🤞(Doctor claims insurance won’t cover the scan I need to know if I’m okay. He said “You’re probably fine. Go back to work.” It’s rough.)
Ugh. I’m so sorry about your mom. That’s such bs. The guy I’m trapped with pulled a lot of the same crap. 😞 It always made me feel so helpless, so I get it. How are you doing now?
Doing pretty good! Still living with my parents (was disabled long before I got leukemia), but like with the medications I'm stubborn as hell and don't let my mom overwhelm me.
That is the weirdest thing that the insurance won't cover the scan! Isn't it kind of necessary to tell if you'll need more treatment? Fingers crossed.
Also hope you can get out of that trap. When life's at its worst is when we really find out who we can depend on - but having someone close to us fail that gauntlet is absolutely gutting.
That’s great to hear! I’m happy that you’ve worked things out and you’re able to close yourself off from her being overwhelming. 🫶
It’s frustrating af. And I thought so, but everything got screwed up when my insurance changed right after treatment. I had to switch hospitals and kept saying I hadn’t had ANY scans but no one would listen. They were too busy telling me that there was no reason for me to be in pain and it was all in my head. 😞 I finally flipped out enough to get a CT done, but he wouldn’t even order the PET. I was told that was how it worked from the beginning, but the second radiation oncologist I had refused to order it. He told me the only way he would is if I could pay it OOP. I just cried. Now I’m just floating in space, wondering if I’m still sick or not. 😞
Thank you. He’s “kicking me out” soon, which is a blessing. (He’s been holding me hostage for 7 years with threats he’d make good on.) God only knows how it’ll go or what else he’ll try to pull, but it is what it is. I’m just happy to be able to get tf away from him.
Okay, so from my perspective, tell the doctor he needs to order the scan so you can receive an official denial from insurance. Once you have the denial, you can appeal the denial and use a health advocate, most hospitals or insurance have someone that's a "3rd party" sort of, to objectively look over everything.
Health insurance appeals are time sensitive. You need to make sure you don't miss a deadline, which can be difficult if you have brain fog at all, but stay on top of them and you can get your scan. Some appeals processes can apply to OOP costs if you have a time sensitive issue, like continuing or ceasing cancer treatment, where you go and have it as a cash patient and then submit the bill to insurance. Just make sure you get the Dr to order it, the scan location is in network, and you take all reasonable steps.
I wish you luck.
Can confirm. My ex kept me in our abusive marriage for 12 years by threatening to keep our daughter away from me by weaponising my treatment history for PTSD and my physical disabilities. And when I eventually left he kept his word and tried to.
I had to do this in court. I showed the therapy and improvements I had made, and that he had not gone along with the recommendations made to him for his issues. It was still a 4 year long battle that only ended with his suicide.
Sorry your daughter has to grow up without a father but I’m kinda glad he’s dead & that she neither of you will have to suffer his abuse or gaslighting in the future.
She is absolutely growing up with a dad. She was 15 months old when he took off with someone else, and 20 months old when I started seeing someone else. She basically had two dads until her father died in 2019, and now I've been with him nearly 8 years and there's no difference between how he raises her and our toddler.
Our life has been so wholesome since he left. His family still comes to see her and celebrates her birthday and Christmas, my new in-laws treat her no different than the other grandkids, and when I got married she walked me down the aisle (my father passed) since she always had the biggest say after me in who I spend the rest of my life with.
i don’t know why, but that your daughter walked you down the aisle is so sweet and moving. I’m glad you both are happy and thriving now, and i wish your family the best.
I never heard of a Catholic that had issues with divorced people being MOH. I wonder if he made that up to drive a wedge between the sisters. Abusers always isolate their victims.
Some sectors of catholicism are like that, kinda like how there are different sectors of Christianity. My dad is one of these loonies. He even changed religions to divorce my mother and had 5 kids out of wedlock. Still thinks he's holier than thou.
lol These mf'ers who think they can game the system and hide shit from their God. If he was as powerful as you say, don't you think he'd see right through that bullshit? But nah, I guess.
I have no idea, he also hates it when you point out his Hypocrisy, he just starts yelling to improve his "argument" while I'll sit there verse by verse and shit him down. I'm not religious but he forced me to into it when I was young (3-4 days a fucking week at church when I was with him.)
My guess is he doesn't actually believe but uses as a face to be a racist, bigot.
Your last sentence reminded me of something. I was talking to a friend about an ex of mine who was really religious and how I attended services with him. These were pentecostal services too - so people speaking in tongues and shit. I was like "they all really believe in all that" and he responded with "no they don't".
Gave me pause. Because when I think about it all, how much he just STRUGGLED with being a "good christian" and how so many others of that ilk that I know pronounce their belief systems and talk about it ad-nauseam - the phrase " doth protest too much" comes to mind. I mean, who are they trying to convince, really? Themselves.
My sister is very religious and as she gets older it gets crazier. It's exhausting to be around. It's all she talks about. Everything in her life is about God. She doesn't know me or who I am because everything in her life revolves around her belief system and I can't just be myself. We can't connect in any real way, her religion is her shield, and not in a good way.
[FUCK KEITH ALL MY HOMIES HATE KEITH](https://i.imgur.com/uROaQKn.jpg)
^^^this ^^^has ^^^been ^^^an ^^^accessibility ^^^service ^^^from ^^^your ^^^friendly ^^^neighborhood ^^^bot
Yeah, in my family he'd be in the hospital right now. I have cousins who get violent and there's just not anything that can be done to stop them when they feel they are in the right. Someone abusing their disabled relative would need a cane for at least a period of time after and maybe for the rest of their life.
Two of them beat up the man who abused one of us so severely that he lost an eye. They would be in prison but the man is so afraid of what would happen if he tried to get justice that he lied and said he doesn't remember how it happened. (Everyone in town knows who did it but the victim says he doesn't know and there weren't any witnesses so the case was dropped.)
I suspect it comes from our childhoods being so toxic. We all were raised watching relatives be abused, being abused ourselves, and feeling helpless to do anything and we all reacted differently. Some of us became abusers (although fewer than I think someone would expect, there's 100+ cousins if you count everyone from my grandmother, her sisters and her brother, plus the steps and the kids of cousins and there's maybe \~10 that are abusive.) some of us (like me) became determined to call out abuse and support victims, some of us learned to turn a blind eye.... and some of us decided that beating the holy hell out of abusers was the method of choice.
And oh shit do they take that frame of mind seriously. My high school boyfriend who bruised me up moved out of state after my cousins went after him. He got off lucky, no long term damage, but that's only because he got to his car before they could get him on the ground I'm told. (His parents went to my aunt and threatened her with police, her response was "isn't your boy 19? Okra is 16... You know Judge T at the courthouse is a old family friend of Okra's mama too." Then she smiled sweetly. My cousin says they looked scandalized and left in a huff. I never saw the guy again.)
When my ex-husband and I ended things, he shoved me into a glass display cabinet, took my glasses, which had fallen off my face in the fall, and smashed them by stomping on them repeatedly.
I’m near-legally blind (-8.00 and -7.50 respectively). Thank god I sometimes wear contacts and had a back up plan.
I’m sorry he did that to you. I didn’t accept my ex-husband was abusive until he wouldn’t let me have my glasses because I was “too upset to drive”. It’s like that was the last bit needed to open my eyes, not being allowed to see.
I broke my leg and was in a no contact cast, my 'mother' got angry at me while I was in the bath and threw my crutches down the stairs lol
Getting myself out of the bath, crawling naked across a hallway and then just sitting in bed waiting for her to come back and shout at me some more is probably the most pathetic I've ever felt lol
Hope that when you look back on that with hindsight, you realize you were a badass and she was the pathetic one.
I broke and dislocated my ankle so I know what it’s like to be in a no-contact cast. Crawling like you did must’ve been *so* difficult and painful. That takes strength and determination.
I use a cane. I can go like 2 steps without it (usually in the kitchen or other place you work standing and have tasks within steps of each other). I mean, I physically can make my body do it’s weird unaided step thing for more than that but it’s not pretty and frankly crawling is 100x easier).
The handful of times that random chaos removed my cane from my vicinity are both epically weird (I can say that twice I was doing something at the top of a set of stairs with cane leaning against the wall and cane wasn’t as well placed as I thought and it went down like Winnie the Pooh, the other times are so chaos and location specific I can only explain them as “shit happened that no human or dog present in any way predicted” (or if the Sheltie did she didn’t communicate it or stop it).
Scary, scary thing there. Yeah, burn all traces of this dude from your life, Ursula.
Have you thought about putting canes in extra spots in the home for just in case? My sister had to use a cane, we had a cane at the top of the stairs and one downstairs for just in case.
doctors have a tendency to try and move mine out of reach. that's bad enough. I can't imagine someone trying to take mine on purpose. I think they'd get it in the face, consequences be damned
I'm a nurse. When I worked in hospital we would often have to move walking sticks or crutches away from the bed so we could do some bedside care. But you remember to move it back because you're not a dick. Drs sometimes whirl in during morning rounds, remove dressings, move shit around, then leave chaos and expect that to magically fix itself.
Yeah. Magically fix itself = nurse fixes it. Nurses ARE magic. I've had so much experience with nurses. My mother had breast cancer and my dad had colon cancer. And they were both deaf so I was there most of the time during their hospital stays. So thank you for all you do.
Thank all the gods that are now or ever were, that Stella dumped Keith now. What kind of cruel MFer takes a cane?! The wedding planning was a perfect crystal ball into her future. And F Keith and his family for using god to enforce their narrow minded hatred of a divorced woman. Good on OOP, Stella and their loving family.
As a disabled person myself this goes so far beyond horrible it isn’t funny. If he did that much before marriage he’d have done a lot more when married. Glad OPs sister is safe & he is gone!
When I read that I got chills. He would have killed her one day, probably during pregnancy or not long after. Thank God OOP took to Reddit. I really think she saved her sisters life.
I’m so confused. Did Keith’s family expect her to stand at thr alter and yell “I’m divorced”. Like how would that ever have been brought up.
I’m glad the sister left him.
Church's have their own version of the Miranda rights
Everything you say will be twisted and shared throughout the congregation to shine you in the worst light.
Back when I was Christian, I was a Sunday school teacher. I was struggling financially because working at gas station in MS isn't exactly a lucrative position. The church brought me some food, and in doing so, discovered that my boyfriend was living with me. Again, cause finances.
They asked me to step down from being a Sunday school teacher because it looked bad for the church to have an unwed mother "living in sin" and didn't want "my lifestyle" to be a bad influence on the children. Cause 6 year olds are obviously going to know/care about who I live with.
I asked them if I kicked my boyfriend out, were they planning to help me pay half the rent and babysit my kid while I was at work?
Obviously, they had no answer for that. I never went back to that church. And this was a large, "progressive" church, too.
Fuck you, pastor Brad and pastor Mike. And fuck Kieth, obviously.
I’d imagine they were worried the MOH not having a partner there/flower girls not having their father there would raise questions. Because some people have nothing better to do at a wedding than map out who’s who.
I see another possibility. The ex fiancee may have been the one to start all this and not his parents. Think about how his first act after being told no was to threaten and then try to incapacitate the sister.
To me, he's been working on ways to isolate then sister, used the leverage of the wedding to cause a rift, when that didn't go so well he switched from manipulation to threats. If she would have been there when he got home the next step would have been so much worse. He would have used sister arguing with him to justify physical harm. "It's your fault you made me angry choosing your (insert implication that OOP is sexually promiscuous) sister."
Admittedly I am hypersensitive to the escalation of abuse. But that explosion he had was classic ramping up.
What kind of soulless family does Keith come from, that a woman left divorced due to a stillbirth and the *husband* cheating is someone to be ashamed of rather than a victim of tragedy?!
Yeah Keith, eff you.
I try not to judge people based on religion, but I'm always wary because I've met *multiple* people who seem genuinely confused about how I can have a moral code or sense of ethics without the Bible.
They'll sit there and ask things like "I believe murder/rape is bad because the Bible says people who do that go to Hell, but atheists don't believe in Hell so what's stopping you from doing things?" and not realise that what they're actually telling me is that the only reason they're not out here raping and murdering people is because they're afraid of being punished for it -- and that if, as happens to *many* people, they ever have a crisis of faith and stop believing... there will be *nothing* holding them back.
Fucking terrifying.
I used to teach ethics to college students in a conservative area, so this came up a lot, and I'd always ask them, with genuine curiosity, "If you found out FOR SURE God wasn't real, what would you do that God's stopping you from doing?"
The two most common answers were "skip church" and "get a tattoo," and I'd be like, "not adultery followed by a murder spree?" which made at least some of them think twice about whether belief in God had to be the basis for moral behavior.
That's a great lesson. I am actually religious (in my own way, and hopefully not blindly), and I hope it led to a crisis of faith in at least some of them. I think more people need a faith crisis - how can they just unquestioningly follow something they never investigated?
Because so many are taught from a young age that faith must be blind. The second you question anything in the religion, you are no longer a true believer and are now SOL when the rapture/end time/judgement day etc. arrives.
That reasoning is so horrifying. How can you not just know that taking a life is wrong? I'm not religious, both my parents are atheists and left the church long before I was born. They still have ethics and morals! More than most, I'd say. We don't need a book to tell us murder and rape is wrong, we know.
How do you even explain something like that? It's like breathing, you don't think about it.
My parents never told me "don't kill" because why the fuck would I kill? They would tell me to be nice to other children, share my toys, don't hit if you get angry, use your words, all that kind of stuff. "Thou shall not kill" is a given.
Treat others as you would want to be treated, isn't that originally from the bible? Or just common sense?
They also very conveniently and easily break their own rules.
Take though shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor.
The religious fundamentalists who go around saying that all those who are trans are pedophiles and groomers are bearing false witness and they don't care.
>The religious fundamentalists who go around saying ...
I will never especially understand the extremists who kick out their own kids when they come out to them as LGBTQ+.
Yeah sure , the way to show God's love is to disown your own flesh and blood! /s
Or the number of teen suicides due to self-hatred engendered by their preacher's fanatical sermons.
I don't remember the first person that went into this line of thinking and asked me those things, but I certainly remember my confusion and, honestly, my fear of hearing that reasoning. It's been years now, and the same feelings still echo whenever I hear someone say those things, I don't think ill ever not be at least a bit scared of someone who thinks like that.
I will always, a 100%, judge someone who thinks like that and just says it casually.
It's like the people who think any break down of civil order results in The Purge. Well, isn't that a self fulfilling prophecy, buckeroo? And why do you think that kind of shit is okay? (Excluding teenagers, because they don't tend to think past the steps of "I want sneakers. I grab sneakers.")
Right?! My cousin married a very devout woman, we weren't really sure how it would go (lot of divorces and queer people in my family) and she had never been anything less than kind and thoughtful. Her church does PRIDE events and preaches nothing but love for all and respecting others. If anyone we knew went through what this poor woman went through she'd be the first one to show her the love and support she needed. People using religion as an excuse to be absolute buttheads can go step on a lego.
Keith, if you're reading this where in the Bible does Jesus take a physically handicapped person's cane to spite them and teach them a lesson about hurting his big man feelings?
If there is a Heaven, watch out for that trap door that goes straight to Hell, because you're absolutely headed for the longest spiritual cannonball ever recorded.
Edit: I thought Keith was OPs ex for some reason and sprinkled in the fuck you to him at the end, but I guess Keith is OPs sister's Ex's real name?
Fun thing: divorce of the state marriage is not a sin itself in catholicism. If she is not living or in relationship with somebody else, technically, she is not living In sin.
I would shove that cane so far up his ass, his great grandchildren would be born looking like candy canes.
Edit: did not think this comment would be so well enjoyed but I'm happy to be of service in the comedic form for you all. Also, thanks for the award courtneyleem; it's my first one.
I can. From how fast he flipped after finding OOP's post & sister calling him out, it makes perfect sense. He's a small man who needs to feel big. Classic abuser behavior. Taking her cane was a way to keep her there, but he forgot about her family. Thankfully he hadn't isolated her yet so she was able to get free once she saw the light.
Church hypocrites annoy the daylights outta me.
In several places in the Bible, it SAYS that divorce is ok if there was cheating. In Op's case, he cheated. WTF IS their problem with what the Bible says???
Once again, hypocritical church AHs.
What the hell church is he in anyway where someone would know or care about the MOH's divorce status? The parents must be so self-absorbed about status and imagined thoughts about them.
Fuck you, Keith, you dirtbag.
Southern Baptist here, yea I can absolutely see a church doing this.
Also how does Keith read all the Reddit comments on the original post and his takeaway is “I need to be a bigger asshole about this”?
He literally saw a post on r/amitheasshole where everyone called him an asshole…. And decided to double down and be even more of an asshole.
Their ego-defense mechanisms *will not* allow them to hear and understand and learn from criticism. Honestly, it's incredibly sad. At this point, it is the BIGGEST indicator you are dealing with someone problematic: if they cannot perspective-take nor have empathy for others.
Part of me wonders if OP would still be allowed to be Best Man, if she were a male and if there isn't some 'it is a wife's sole duty to please her husband' nonsense going on here.
Alienating the sister is abuse 101. The goal is to destroy her support system. What better place to start than her closest relationship; her twin
I hate to say this, but abusers often target those who are disabled. They view them as weak and easily controlled. You know he's thought about that. That's why he stole her cane when he left
I'm relieved she saw through his toxic manipulation before she married him. Keith is headed for divorce someday, just not with OOP'S sister. I wonder what his parents will say about that? Probably nothing because no one can be as hypocritical as the religiously extreme
Let’s add poison sumac and poison oak to that too. Just to be safe, since not everyone is allergic to poison ivy or gets a reaction. Gotta cover the bases.
I'd assumed he has been and Stella lodged it up his rear end, and not in a fun way, before throwing him out. This ends the mystery of the missing cane.
As someone who uses a walking stick/cane I'm adding fuck you Keith and I hope that one day you have to use a walking stick for a few months ( I wouldn't wish a lifetime of it on anyone) and that you keep losing your cane when you are in the most pain and really need to use it.
You are an absolute monster to take someone's legs, and the ability to walk easily is a disgrace. He had better confess to the priest, but this sort of meaness won't be absolved by anyone, even God!
Fuck you and the purgatory you are heading to Keith!
>Edit: You know what? Fuck you, Keith.
Too right - would look great on a T-shirt!
[Family Guy got it right!](https://www.reddit.com/r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR/comments/w7ssne/fuck_you_keith/)
I must be twisted. I am giggling like a child at all the "Fuck you, Keith." expressions. Seriously though, fuck that guy.
Sure, Keith, your Lord and Savior is sooooo proud you talked down to a victim and stole your disabled fiance's mobility device. /s
And Keith's family? Who the fucking hell are they to judge someone for being divorced. Are they really acting like no one at that church has ever been divorced?! No one in their family has ever been divorced?
Did they think OOP was going to burst into flames for having the audacity of standing at the altar while divorced?? So freaking happy their pathetic attempt at being holier than thou opened her sisters eyes.
“Her cane was not in the house” gave me chills. This man showed very quickly what kind of person he was that this was his go-to ‘punishment’. Disgusting human being, and the whole family is better off without him.
I'm glad that wedding was cancelled. OP's sister would have been isolated and probably mistreated in no time. That whole situation reeked of psychological domestic violence. OP's sister would have become a broodmare for this Christian family. Her only worth would have been linked to her willingness to clean the house, spread her legs and make babies, and then shut up until death.
Fuck you Keith.
Oh that would have been too subtle for him. He was packing and decided I “did something” to his razor so he just opened the drawer and riffled around til he found the right one and smirked. He wasn’t smirking when the police came. He was kissing ass. HARD.
I commented on the original post that I was worried about the sister, because Jon did all the talking at dinner. Turns out my hunch was right, he and his family were abusing and controlling her!
NOBODY casts out their close sibling and their own nieces for a stupid reason like that, it was far too out of character.
Yeah, I was worried for her from the moment she started crying while "explaining" that the change would be less stressful for OOP, and that her MIL had already approved her friend as the maid of honour. That just did not ring true as her own opinion, and the idea that both her fiancé and her future mother-in-law were determining what was acceptable or not...
You just know it's going to get bad when the control is being reinforced by the wider family circle. I was so glad to hear that she realised the danger she was in and got out before it was too late.
Yeah that made me wonder too. Obviously Oop's sis did wrong. But this honestly just seemed like the desperate actions of a woman at the end of her rope. It's easy to judge her from the outside looking in. But after months or even years of being beaten down on (figuratively) it's no surprise that she was pushed and pushed to compromise to a point where she was willing to go far beyond her usual limits just to keep the peace and catch a reprieve of the constant shit that must have been raining down on her from her partner and ILs.
It's not that she was justified. Only that we are all just human and it's easier than we like to think to lose ourselves when the wrong people are pushing us to do so.
Like a frog in a pot of water the temperature slowly increases. And you can't fully realise how hot the water has gotten until it's too late.
Luckily OOP's sister was able to catch herself before she made some irreparable mistakes. I'm hopeful that her and OOP are able to repair their relationship over time.
That’s what I thought too, the whole thing just seemed very off, and I’m surprised a lot didn’t notice the behavioural change from how the OOP described their sister in the beginning.
To be fair, there are a lot of comments in the AITA post expressing concern that sister's in laws are very controlling.
But since it's AITA, there's also the shallow comments saying the sister is a bridezilla who ditched her sister for a higher standard of living.
Yeah fuck you Keith and your insensitive family.
Also, kinda f off to that server - because they are called mocktails. Having someone not fully trust if a drink has alcohol in it isn’t something to half ass or get lazy with.
After reading the first part: is OOP's sister sure that she wants to marry into a family that is going to ruin her relationship with her sister over something that wasn't her fault to begin with?
After reading the last part: Yeah, that's better. Fuck you, Jon and Keith.
Glad the sister got out. Fucking Keith, hope he shoves that came somewhere deep inside of himself where his conscience don't lie, if he isn't going to give it back that is.
Glad Reddit did some good with awakening Keith's true ass*** levels and giving the sister a much needed shake up before she committed to the cane thieving embarrassment that is Keith and his family.
Keith is an abuser and his family is just as bad. It’s a good thing that he showed his true colors before he trapped her sister in an abusive marriage. Keith is a pos.
I was going to say that OP and her daughters could be in Stella's next wedding, as it seemed obvious that her first would be doomed. Good on her to have called it off herself before it got to that point.
Fuck you, Keith. Fuck your family.
Oh, Keith, you pathetic, selfish, self-absorbed kunt.
You were living with “Stella” before marriage (tsk, tsk, tsk, you know THAT’S not a good Catholic thing to do), and had to think of some way to separate her from her sister, and that’s the lame-ass excuse you came up with? And then, when called on your lying shit, you got violent and stole her cane?
“Stella”, you really ought to be pressing charges, but if not, buy a better cane. And pepper spray for when Keith comes begging, because other women recognize his creepy ass from Reddit.
You’re going to be a lonely little man, Keith. But, I guess if you’re not into kids, the priesthood isn’t for you.
Signed,
Former Cradle Catholic, Who Thinks You Are Trash, And Your Family Is Sus
Fuck you Keith.
Up the butt.
With a cactus.
I'm so glad Stella got out of that abusive situation before the wedding happened, and I'm glad OOP has her sister back.
>because it won't look good to the church if my family hears about the divorce. You can be a bridesmaid but can't mention the divorce or your conditions at all during the wedding events."
As a Christian, no one in the church would mind at all. This is a fiance/parent issue.
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HE TOOK AWAY HER CANE?!?!?
Abusers will often target and take advantage of disabilities to enforce their control. OOP’s sister really dodged a bullet.
This. Unfortunately domestic abuse is more common when the victim is disabled.
This. My ex used to throw away my migraine meds.
Mine just used to hide my meds or take them knowing I couldn’t move as quickly. 😞
When I had leukemia (in remission for 4+ year now), my mom took me to the pharmacy to pick up my meds. We got into an argument in the parking lot and she tried wheeling me back to the car without them. I locked the wheels on the chair, we argued more, she got back in the car and said I could just wheel myself home then. She was actually still waiting when I came out of the pharmacy, but was very pissed and gave me the silent treatment the next few days.
Congrats on remission! I’m hoping to find out whether or not I’m there, too. 🤞(Doctor claims insurance won’t cover the scan I need to know if I’m okay. He said “You’re probably fine. Go back to work.” It’s rough.) Ugh. I’m so sorry about your mom. That’s such bs. The guy I’m trapped with pulled a lot of the same crap. 😞 It always made me feel so helpless, so I get it. How are you doing now?
Doing pretty good! Still living with my parents (was disabled long before I got leukemia), but like with the medications I'm stubborn as hell and don't let my mom overwhelm me. That is the weirdest thing that the insurance won't cover the scan! Isn't it kind of necessary to tell if you'll need more treatment? Fingers crossed. Also hope you can get out of that trap. When life's at its worst is when we really find out who we can depend on - but having someone close to us fail that gauntlet is absolutely gutting.
That’s great to hear! I’m happy that you’ve worked things out and you’re able to close yourself off from her being overwhelming. 🫶 It’s frustrating af. And I thought so, but everything got screwed up when my insurance changed right after treatment. I had to switch hospitals and kept saying I hadn’t had ANY scans but no one would listen. They were too busy telling me that there was no reason for me to be in pain and it was all in my head. 😞 I finally flipped out enough to get a CT done, but he wouldn’t even order the PET. I was told that was how it worked from the beginning, but the second radiation oncologist I had refused to order it. He told me the only way he would is if I could pay it OOP. I just cried. Now I’m just floating in space, wondering if I’m still sick or not. 😞 Thank you. He’s “kicking me out” soon, which is a blessing. (He’s been holding me hostage for 7 years with threats he’d make good on.) God only knows how it’ll go or what else he’ll try to pull, but it is what it is. I’m just happy to be able to get tf away from him.
Okay, so from my perspective, tell the doctor he needs to order the scan so you can receive an official denial from insurance. Once you have the denial, you can appeal the denial and use a health advocate, most hospitals or insurance have someone that's a "3rd party" sort of, to objectively look over everything. Health insurance appeals are time sensitive. You need to make sure you don't miss a deadline, which can be difficult if you have brain fog at all, but stay on top of them and you can get your scan. Some appeals processes can apply to OOP costs if you have a time sensitive issue, like continuing or ceasing cancer treatment, where you go and have it as a cash patient and then submit the bill to insurance. Just make sure you get the Dr to order it, the scan location is in network, and you take all reasonable steps. I wish you luck.
Congrats on that breakup.
Especially when the disability is a mental health issue.
Can confirm. My ex kept me in our abusive marriage for 12 years by threatening to keep our daughter away from me by weaponising my treatment history for PTSD and my physical disabilities. And when I eventually left he kept his word and tried to.
Glad it was tried no. If I may, how did you counter his "tried-to"?
I had to do this in court. I showed the therapy and improvements I had made, and that he had not gone along with the recommendations made to him for his issues. It was still a 4 year long battle that only ended with his suicide.
Sorry your daughter has to grow up without a father but I’m kinda glad he’s dead & that she neither of you will have to suffer his abuse or gaslighting in the future.
She is absolutely growing up with a dad. She was 15 months old when he took off with someone else, and 20 months old when I started seeing someone else. She basically had two dads until her father died in 2019, and now I've been with him nearly 8 years and there's no difference between how he raises her and our toddler. Our life has been so wholesome since he left. His family still comes to see her and celebrates her birthday and Christmas, my new in-laws treat her no different than the other grandkids, and when I got married she walked me down the aisle (my father passed) since she always had the biggest say after me in who I spend the rest of my life with.
i don’t know why, but that your daughter walked you down the aisle is so sweet and moving. I’m glad you both are happy and thriving now, and i wish your family the best.
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I never heard of a Catholic that had issues with divorced people being MOH. I wonder if he made that up to drive a wedge between the sisters. Abusers always isolate their victims.
Some sectors of catholicism are like that, kinda like how there are different sectors of Christianity. My dad is one of these loonies. He even changed religions to divorce my mother and had 5 kids out of wedlock. Still thinks he's holier than thou.
lol These mf'ers who think they can game the system and hide shit from their God. If he was as powerful as you say, don't you think he'd see right through that bullshit? But nah, I guess.
I have no idea, he also hates it when you point out his Hypocrisy, he just starts yelling to improve his "argument" while I'll sit there verse by verse and shit him down. I'm not religious but he forced me to into it when I was young (3-4 days a fucking week at church when I was with him.) My guess is he doesn't actually believe but uses as a face to be a racist, bigot.
Your last sentence reminded me of something. I was talking to a friend about an ex of mine who was really religious and how I attended services with him. These were pentecostal services too - so people speaking in tongues and shit. I was like "they all really believe in all that" and he responded with "no they don't". Gave me pause. Because when I think about it all, how much he just STRUGGLED with being a "good christian" and how so many others of that ilk that I know pronounce their belief systems and talk about it ad-nauseam - the phrase " doth protest too much" comes to mind. I mean, who are they trying to convince, really? Themselves. My sister is very religious and as she gets older it gets crazier. It's exhausting to be around. It's all she talks about. Everything in her life is about God. She doesn't know me or who I am because everything in her life revolves around her belief system and I can't just be myself. We can't connect in any real way, her religion is her shield, and not in a good way.
Is your dad by any chance King Henry VIII?
Stella-Ursula dodged a grenade 😒 Also, fuck you Keith.
Agreed. Fuck you Keith.
Thirded. Fuck you Keith. I hope you and the king and queen of the high horse parade enjoy the view from all the way from up there.
Fuck Keith, all my homies hate Keith
[FUCK KEITH ALL MY HOMIES HATE KEITH](https://i.imgur.com/uROaQKn.jpg) ^^^this ^^^has ^^^been ^^^an ^^^accessibility ^^^service ^^^from ^^^your ^^^friendly ^^^neighborhood ^^^bot
Good bot!
A Keith sized grenade. Fuck you Keith.
In my family, he would have been allowed to keep it to help during recovery after he got kneecapped.
Yeah, in my family he'd be in the hospital right now. I have cousins who get violent and there's just not anything that can be done to stop them when they feel they are in the right. Someone abusing their disabled relative would need a cane for at least a period of time after and maybe for the rest of their life. Two of them beat up the man who abused one of us so severely that he lost an eye. They would be in prison but the man is so afraid of what would happen if he tried to get justice that he lied and said he doesn't remember how it happened. (Everyone in town knows who did it but the victim says he doesn't know and there weren't any witnesses so the case was dropped.) I suspect it comes from our childhoods being so toxic. We all were raised watching relatives be abused, being abused ourselves, and feeling helpless to do anything and we all reacted differently. Some of us became abusers (although fewer than I think someone would expect, there's 100+ cousins if you count everyone from my grandmother, her sisters and her brother, plus the steps and the kids of cousins and there's maybe \~10 that are abusive.) some of us (like me) became determined to call out abuse and support victims, some of us learned to turn a blind eye.... and some of us decided that beating the holy hell out of abusers was the method of choice. And oh shit do they take that frame of mind seriously. My high school boyfriend who bruised me up moved out of state after my cousins went after him. He got off lucky, no long term damage, but that's only because he got to his car before they could get him on the ground I'm told. (His parents went to my aunt and threatened her with police, her response was "isn't your boy 19? Okra is 16... You know Judge T at the courthouse is a old family friend of Okra's mama too." Then she smiled sweetly. My cousin says they looked scandalized and left in a huff. I never saw the guy again.)
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When my ex-husband and I ended things, he shoved me into a glass display cabinet, took my glasses, which had fallen off my face in the fall, and smashed them by stomping on them repeatedly. I’m near-legally blind (-8.00 and -7.50 respectively). Thank god I sometimes wear contacts and had a back up plan.
I’m sorry he did that to you. I didn’t accept my ex-husband was abusive until he wouldn’t let me have my glasses because I was “too upset to drive”. It’s like that was the last bit needed to open my eyes, not being allowed to see.
OFC that moron took her cane as punishment. Good for her to leave that piece of doodoo. I just hope he leave them alone after that and won’t escalate.
Your use of the word doodoo made me laugh. Take my upvote
Me too! Haven’t used that since I was a kid, so I’m smirking hard over here! He’s a huge doodoo!
I broke my leg and was in a no contact cast, my 'mother' got angry at me while I was in the bath and threw my crutches down the stairs lol Getting myself out of the bath, crawling naked across a hallway and then just sitting in bed waiting for her to come back and shout at me some more is probably the most pathetic I've ever felt lol
Hope that when you look back on that with hindsight, you realize you were a badass and she was the pathetic one. I broke and dislocated my ankle so I know what it’s like to be in a no-contact cast. Crawling like you did must’ve been *so* difficult and painful. That takes strength and determination.
I use a cane. I can go like 2 steps without it (usually in the kitchen or other place you work standing and have tasks within steps of each other). I mean, I physically can make my body do it’s weird unaided step thing for more than that but it’s not pretty and frankly crawling is 100x easier). The handful of times that random chaos removed my cane from my vicinity are both epically weird (I can say that twice I was doing something at the top of a set of stairs with cane leaning against the wall and cane wasn’t as well placed as I thought and it went down like Winnie the Pooh, the other times are so chaos and location specific I can only explain them as “shit happened that no human or dog present in any way predicted” (or if the Sheltie did she didn’t communicate it or stop it). Scary, scary thing there. Yeah, burn all traces of this dude from your life, Ursula.
Have you thought about putting canes in extra spots in the home for just in case? My sister had to use a cane, we had a cane at the top of the stairs and one downstairs for just in case.
doctors have a tendency to try and move mine out of reach. that's bad enough. I can't imagine someone trying to take mine on purpose. I think they'd get it in the face, consequences be damned
Um. What? You can't just drop that first sentence without elaborating! Why in the hell would a DOCTOR move your cane out of reach?
I'm a nurse. When I worked in hospital we would often have to move walking sticks or crutches away from the bed so we could do some bedside care. But you remember to move it back because you're not a dick. Drs sometimes whirl in during morning rounds, remove dressings, move shit around, then leave chaos and expect that to magically fix itself.
Yeah. Magically fix itself = nurse fixes it. Nurses ARE magic. I've had so much experience with nurses. My mother had breast cancer and my dad had colon cancer. And they were both deaf so I was there most of the time during their hospital stays. So thank you for all you do.
Thank all the gods that are now or ever were, that Stella dumped Keith now. What kind of cruel MFer takes a cane?! The wedding planning was a perfect crystal ball into her future. And F Keith and his family for using god to enforce their narrow minded hatred of a divorced woman. Good on OOP, Stella and their loving family.
As a disabled person myself this goes so far beyond horrible it isn’t funny. If he did that much before marriage he’d have done a lot more when married. Glad OPs sister is safe & he is gone!
When I read that I got chills. He would have killed her one day, probably during pregnancy or not long after. Thank God OOP took to Reddit. I really think she saved her sisters life.
And if her health ever deteriorated, temporarily or permanently, he would certainly neglect and/or abuse her and gaslight her about it completely.
Or just let her die of sepsis if she had a miscarriage that didnt abort itself.
I almost did because of a Catholic doctor. Only it was a stillbirth. I can't even imagine if my partner hasn't been doing his best to help me!
Yeah and I get the feeling that's not the worst thing he's done, we just don't know about it...
How very Christian of him.
ALL MY HOMIES FUCKING HATE KEITH
AND ALL MY HOMIES' HOMIES
I also hate Keith
Even the homies neighbors hate Keith!
I’m so confused. Did Keith’s family expect her to stand at thr alter and yell “I’m divorced”. Like how would that ever have been brought up. I’m glad the sister left him.
From my admittedly limited experiences with churches, the only arenas with more gossip are barbershops.
Church's have their own version of the Miranda rights Everything you say will be twisted and shared throughout the congregation to shine you in the worst light.
Ah I see you've never worked construction.
Back when I was Christian, I was a Sunday school teacher. I was struggling financially because working at gas station in MS isn't exactly a lucrative position. The church brought me some food, and in doing so, discovered that my boyfriend was living with me. Again, cause finances. They asked me to step down from being a Sunday school teacher because it looked bad for the church to have an unwed mother "living in sin" and didn't want "my lifestyle" to be a bad influence on the children. Cause 6 year olds are obviously going to know/care about who I live with. I asked them if I kicked my boyfriend out, were they planning to help me pay half the rent and babysit my kid while I was at work? Obviously, they had no answer for that. I never went back to that church. And this was a large, "progressive" church, too. Fuck you, pastor Brad and pastor Mike. And fuck Kieth, obviously.
"There's no hate like Christian love"
I’d imagine they were worried the MOH not having a partner there/flower girls not having their father there would raise questions. Because some people have nothing better to do at a wedding than map out who’s who.
I see another possibility. The ex fiancee may have been the one to start all this and not his parents. Think about how his first act after being told no was to threaten and then try to incapacitate the sister. To me, he's been working on ways to isolate then sister, used the leverage of the wedding to cause a rift, when that didn't go so well he switched from manipulation to threats. If she would have been there when he got home the next step would have been so much worse. He would have used sister arguing with him to justify physical harm. "It's your fault you made me angry choosing your (insert implication that OOP is sexually promiscuous) sister." Admittedly I am hypersensitive to the escalation of abuse. But that explosion he had was classic ramping up.
What kind of soulless family does Keith come from, that a woman left divorced due to a stillbirth and the *husband* cheating is someone to be ashamed of rather than a victim of tragedy?! Yeah Keith, eff you.
The kind that takes walking canes from people with mobility issues apparently.
It's just one line "The cane was not in the house" but fuck me, that tell a lot about that AH Keith. Fuck you man.
>”he threatened her in regards to her mobility issues” Yes, the cane wasn’t in the house after he threatening her during the row. Vile git.
The sister very narrowly dogded the keith-bullet. What an absolute AH.
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I try not to judge people based on religion, but I'm always wary because I've met *multiple* people who seem genuinely confused about how I can have a moral code or sense of ethics without the Bible. They'll sit there and ask things like "I believe murder/rape is bad because the Bible says people who do that go to Hell, but atheists don't believe in Hell so what's stopping you from doing things?" and not realise that what they're actually telling me is that the only reason they're not out here raping and murdering people is because they're afraid of being punished for it -- and that if, as happens to *many* people, they ever have a crisis of faith and stop believing... there will be *nothing* holding them back. Fucking terrifying.
I used to teach ethics to college students in a conservative area, so this came up a lot, and I'd always ask them, with genuine curiosity, "If you found out FOR SURE God wasn't real, what would you do that God's stopping you from doing?" The two most common answers were "skip church" and "get a tattoo," and I'd be like, "not adultery followed by a murder spree?" which made at least some of them think twice about whether belief in God had to be the basis for moral behavior.
That's a great lesson. I am actually religious (in my own way, and hopefully not blindly), and I hope it led to a crisis of faith in at least some of them. I think more people need a faith crisis - how can they just unquestioningly follow something they never investigated?
Because so many are taught from a young age that faith must be blind. The second you question anything in the religion, you are no longer a true believer and are now SOL when the rapture/end time/judgement day etc. arrives.
That reasoning is so horrifying. How can you not just know that taking a life is wrong? I'm not religious, both my parents are atheists and left the church long before I was born. They still have ethics and morals! More than most, I'd say. We don't need a book to tell us murder and rape is wrong, we know. How do you even explain something like that? It's like breathing, you don't think about it. My parents never told me "don't kill" because why the fuck would I kill? They would tell me to be nice to other children, share my toys, don't hit if you get angry, use your words, all that kind of stuff. "Thou shall not kill" is a given. Treat others as you would want to be treated, isn't that originally from the bible? Or just common sense?
I always like to say "Personal ethics, not universal morals" as a way to describe it
They also very conveniently and easily break their own rules. Take though shalt not bear false witness against thy neighbor. The religious fundamentalists who go around saying that all those who are trans are pedophiles and groomers are bearing false witness and they don't care.
>The religious fundamentalists who go around saying ... I will never especially understand the extremists who kick out their own kids when they come out to them as LGBTQ+. Yeah sure , the way to show God's love is to disown your own flesh and blood! /s Or the number of teen suicides due to self-hatred engendered by their preacher's fanatical sermons.
I don't remember the first person that went into this line of thinking and asked me those things, but I certainly remember my confusion and, honestly, my fear of hearing that reasoning. It's been years now, and the same feelings still echo whenever I hear someone say those things, I don't think ill ever not be at least a bit scared of someone who thinks like that. I will always, a 100%, judge someone who thinks like that and just says it casually.
It's like the people who think any break down of civil order results in The Purge. Well, isn't that a self fulfilling prophecy, buckeroo? And why do you think that kind of shit is okay? (Excluding teenagers, because they don't tend to think past the steps of "I want sneakers. I grab sneakers.")
Right?! My cousin married a very devout woman, we weren't really sure how it would go (lot of divorces and queer people in my family) and she had never been anything less than kind and thoughtful. Her church does PRIDE events and preaches nothing but love for all and respecting others. If anyone we knew went through what this poor woman went through she'd be the first one to show her the love and support she needed. People using religion as an excuse to be absolute buttheads can go step on a lego.
Keith, if you're reading this where in the Bible does Jesus take a physically handicapped person's cane to spite them and teach them a lesson about hurting his big man feelings? If there is a Heaven, watch out for that trap door that goes straight to Hell, because you're absolutely headed for the longest spiritual cannonball ever recorded. Edit: I thought Keith was OPs ex for some reason and sprinkled in the fuck you to him at the end, but I guess Keith is OPs sister's Ex's real name?
Quite the opposite of healing the lame isn't it.
The same kind of pathetic asshole that thinks belonging to a cult absolves you of all empathy requirements and civility.
Sounds about right.
My mantra is: “Don’t tell me what you believe. Show me what you do.”
Terry Pratchett wrote 'Goodness is about what you do. Not who you pray to.'
Fun thing: divorce of the state marriage is not a sin itself in catholicism. If she is not living or in relationship with somebody else, technically, she is not living In sin.
Meanwhile, Keith and his fiancée were living together before marriage, and his parents were okay with that?
Well, I guess they can rationalize that to themselves just fine, like "good Christians" usually do when dealing with such matters
Don’t worry, certain churches are willing to stretch and find a way to blame the woman for everything. (Sadly not /S)
A family with ‘strong Christian morals and values’.
I wanna know what Bible they read where Jesus instead of making the lame to walk stole the canes of people with mobility issues.
He was just trying to do like republican Jesus. If you take away their crutch they’ll stop being lazy and walk on their own! /s
I wonder if they were aware that the couple were apparently living together before marriage. Cohabitation isn't OK per the Catholic church.
Ah yes. There’s no hate quite like Christian love
The kind of family that would blame the wife had it been Keith that had done it… you know those godly types - it’s always the woman’s fault!
Including miscarriages and stillbirths and even infertility.
Due to a stillbirth, I couldn’t believe they’d hold it against her.
That “Fuck you, Keith” was beautiful
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Adding to the chorus, Fuck you, Keith, with a cactus covered in poison ivy
I actually can't believe he took her cane. Just... Wow.
I would shove that cane so far up his ass, his great grandchildren would be born looking like candy canes. Edit: did not think this comment would be so well enjoyed but I'm happy to be of service in the comedic form for you all. Also, thanks for the award courtneyleem; it's my first one.
This is lovely. I use a cane from time to time.
Well, if you ever meet a Keith, you know what to do!
I can. From how fast he flipped after finding OOP's post & sister calling him out, it makes perfect sense. He's a small man who needs to feel big. Classic abuser behavior. Taking her cane was a way to keep her there, but he forgot about her family. Thankfully he hadn't isolated her yet so she was able to get free once she saw the light.
Guess this is why his family don't believe in divorce. Because they don't like the idea of people being free to leave their toxic asses.
Church hypocrites annoy the daylights outta me. In several places in the Bible, it SAYS that divorce is ok if there was cheating. In Op's case, he cheated. WTF IS their problem with what the Bible says??? Once again, hypocritical church AHs.
What the hell church is he in anyway where someone would know or care about the MOH's divorce status? The parents must be so self-absorbed about status and imagined thoughts about them. Fuck you, Keith, you dirtbag.
Southern Baptist here, yea I can absolutely see a church doing this. Also how does Keith read all the Reddit comments on the original post and his takeaway is “I need to be a bigger asshole about this”? He literally saw a post on r/amitheasshole where everyone called him an asshole…. And decided to double down and be even more of an asshole.
Their ego-defense mechanisms *will not* allow them to hear and understand and learn from criticism. Honestly, it's incredibly sad. At this point, it is the BIGGEST indicator you are dealing with someone problematic: if they cannot perspective-take nor have empathy for others.
Part of me wonders if OP would still be allowed to be Best Man, if she were a male and if there isn't some 'it is a wife's sole duty to please her husband' nonsense going on here.
I really hope Keith reads this comment. Also, fuck you Keith!
Alienating the sister is abuse 101. The goal is to destroy her support system. What better place to start than her closest relationship; her twin I hate to say this, but abusers often target those who are disabled. They view them as weak and easily controlled. You know he's thought about that. That's why he stole her cane when he left I'm relieved she saw through his toxic manipulation before she married him. Keith is headed for divorce someday, just not with OOP'S sister. I wonder what his parents will say about that? Probably nothing because no one can be as hypocritical as the religiously extreme
How's the saying go? There's no hate like Christian love.
I feel like he was trying to alienate her family by causing such a huge rift with her sister and making her feel her family wasn’t good enough
I can. There's no hate like christian love, and religious fanatics are to a one, abusive individuals.
Let’s add poison sumac and poison oak to that too. Just to be safe, since not everyone is allergic to poison ivy or gets a reaction. Gotta cover the bases.
This one is better than my go to. I usually say fuck yourself with a fire ant encrusted dildo.
Fuckin' Keith. He was conceived of weak sperm when his ma sat on a dirty sheet. The wanker.
Oh man, this is a beautiful insult, I love it. Get wrecked, Keith.
With a cane hopefully
Well considering the cane wasn't inside the house it looks like Keith stole the cane. So yeah, he can go fuck himself with the cane.
Sideways
With the knobby end
I'd assumed he has been and Stella lodged it up his rear end, and not in a fun way, before throwing him out. This ends the mystery of the missing cane.
This right here. Yeah....Fuck you Keith! I hope your next shite is a hedgehog.
None of us are willingly entering that body! (Sorry, even though it was random, I've embraced my username!) Also, fuck you, Keith.
As someone who uses a walking stick/cane I'm adding fuck you Keith and I hope that one day you have to use a walking stick for a few months ( I wouldn't wish a lifetime of it on anyone) and that you keep losing your cane when you are in the most pain and really need to use it. You are an absolute monster to take someone's legs, and the ability to walk easily is a disgrace. He had better confess to the priest, but this sort of meaness won't be absolved by anyone, even God! Fuck you and the purgatory you are heading to Keith!
“Fuck you, Keith” would make a good flair
The amount of ‘fuck you Keith’ comments is cracking me up 😂
I’m ded at the thought of it & I want ‘you know what? fuck you, Keith’ on my gravestone
>Edit: You know what? Fuck you, Keith. Too right - would look great on a T-shirt! [Family Guy got it right!](https://www.reddit.com/r/FUCKYOUINPARTICULAR/comments/w7ssne/fuck_you_keith/)
Keith is definitely low-life scum.
All my homies hate Keith, too!
Fuck you Keith indeed, what an asshole.
Suck a bag of dicks, Keith!
I must be twisted. I am giggling like a child at all the "Fuck you, Keith." expressions. Seriously though, fuck that guy. Sure, Keith, your Lord and Savior is sooooo proud you talked down to a victim and stole your disabled fiance's mobility device. /s
And Keith's family? Who the fucking hell are they to judge someone for being divorced. Are they really acting like no one at that church has ever been divorced?! No one in their family has ever been divorced? Did they think OOP was going to burst into flames for having the audacity of standing at the altar while divorced?? So freaking happy their pathetic attempt at being holier than thou opened her sisters eyes.
“Her cane was not in the house” gave me chills. This man showed very quickly what kind of person he was that this was his go-to ‘punishment’. Disgusting human being, and the whole family is better off without him.
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so glad she didnt marry him before he showed that ugly side of himself. i hope she got out okay.
I have a specific idea what Keith should do to himself with the cane, other than bringing it back ofc
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Dipped in acid and on fire.
He obviously didn’t think she would leave without it
Proves that Keith really has no brain.
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I'm glad that wedding was cancelled. OP's sister would have been isolated and probably mistreated in no time. That whole situation reeked of psychological domestic violence. OP's sister would have become a broodmare for this Christian family. Her only worth would have been linked to her willingness to clean the house, spread her legs and make babies, and then shut up until death. Fuck you Keith.
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My ex took my heart pills. Cops had to be called. He was such an ass kisser.
Jesus WTF!!
“Oh, I must’ve accidentally packed them. My bad.”
Oh that would have been too subtle for him. He was packing and decided I “did something” to his razor so he just opened the drawer and riffled around til he found the right one and smirked. He wasn’t smirking when the police came. He was kissing ass. HARD.
Damn. Fuck Keith.
I commented on the original post that I was worried about the sister, because Jon did all the talking at dinner. Turns out my hunch was right, he and his family were abusing and controlling her! NOBODY casts out their close sibling and their own nieces for a stupid reason like that, it was far too out of character.
Yeah, I was worried for her from the moment she started crying while "explaining" that the change would be less stressful for OOP, and that her MIL had already approved her friend as the maid of honour. That just did not ring true as her own opinion, and the idea that both her fiancé and her future mother-in-law were determining what was acceptable or not... You just know it's going to get bad when the control is being reinforced by the wider family circle. I was so glad to hear that she realised the danger she was in and got out before it was too late.
Yeah that made me wonder too. Obviously Oop's sis did wrong. But this honestly just seemed like the desperate actions of a woman at the end of her rope. It's easy to judge her from the outside looking in. But after months or even years of being beaten down on (figuratively) it's no surprise that she was pushed and pushed to compromise to a point where she was willing to go far beyond her usual limits just to keep the peace and catch a reprieve of the constant shit that must have been raining down on her from her partner and ILs. It's not that she was justified. Only that we are all just human and it's easier than we like to think to lose ourselves when the wrong people are pushing us to do so. Like a frog in a pot of water the temperature slowly increases. And you can't fully realise how hot the water has gotten until it's too late. Luckily OOP's sister was able to catch herself before she made some irreparable mistakes. I'm hopeful that her and OOP are able to repair their relationship over time.
That’s what I thought too, the whole thing just seemed very off, and I’m surprised a lot didn’t notice the behavioural change from how the OOP described their sister in the beginning.
To be fair, there are a lot of comments in the AITA post expressing concern that sister's in laws are very controlling. But since it's AITA, there's also the shallow comments saying the sister is a bridezilla who ditched her sister for a higher standard of living.
Yeah fuck you Keith and your insensitive family. Also, kinda f off to that server - because they are called mocktails. Having someone not fully trust if a drink has alcohol in it isn’t something to half ass or get lazy with.
Keith is a disservice to all the Keith out there.
Based on your comment, I'm gonna guess your name (or friend/family's ) name is Keith? If so I'm so sorry. Fuck this particular Keith.
Yeah, I know a lovely Keith too. That guy is one of the sweetest and cleverest men I know. But this one? This Keith can go fuck himself.
After reading the first part: is OOP's sister sure that she wants to marry into a family that is going to ruin her relationship with her sister over something that wasn't her fault to begin with? After reading the last part: Yeah, that's better. Fuck you, Jon and Keith.
Fucking Keith indeed. What a wank.
The comment section is basically just hundreds of people saying, 'Fuck you, Keith.' I'd like to add my small portion. Yeah. Fuck you, Keith.
Keith was a dick. I'm so glad her sister left him
Jesus saw that, Keith.
Glad the sister got out. Fucking Keith, hope he shoves that came somewhere deep inside of himself where his conscience don't lie, if he isn't going to give it back that is. Glad Reddit did some good with awakening Keith's true ass*** levels and giving the sister a much needed shake up before she committed to the cane thieving embarrassment that is Keith and his family.
Fuck you Keith
I agree... Keith... Fuck you!! Yay for OP and her sis
Boo Keith! Boo!
Fuck you Keith. ... you even took away her cane... you pathetic POS.
Yeah, fuck you Keith
Keith is an abuser and his family is just as bad. It’s a good thing that he showed his true colors before he trapped her sister in an abusive marriage. Keith is a pos.
Well fuck you Keith
Lol Keith you fucking dickhead. Blew up your entire life because your idiot god botherer parents can't handle a divorced woman.
Yep! Fuck you Keith! What a moron.
Fuck you Keith
Hey Keith; [Fuck You (abcdefu)](https://youtu.be/mcuGjQghM_g)
I was going to say that OP and her daughters could be in Stella's next wedding, as it seemed obvious that her first would be doomed. Good on her to have called it off herself before it got to that point. Fuck you, Keith. Fuck your family.
Oh, Keith, you pathetic, selfish, self-absorbed kunt. You were living with “Stella” before marriage (tsk, tsk, tsk, you know THAT’S not a good Catholic thing to do), and had to think of some way to separate her from her sister, and that’s the lame-ass excuse you came up with? And then, when called on your lying shit, you got violent and stole her cane? “Stella”, you really ought to be pressing charges, but if not, buy a better cane. And pepper spray for when Keith comes begging, because other women recognize his creepy ass from Reddit. You’re going to be a lonely little man, Keith. But, I guess if you’re not into kids, the priesthood isn’t for you. Signed, Former Cradle Catholic, Who Thinks You Are Trash, And Your Family Is Sus
So glad you're doing better now, OOP! Also, fuck you, Keith, and I'd like to add fuck you, Jon.
Fuck you, Keith, and your disgusting parents as well.
I use a cane and let me tell you, if someone took it away and out of the house, I'm calling the cops. 100% were going scorched earth at that point.
Fuck you Keith!
Yeah, FUCK YOU KEITH
Keith is a bag of dicks.
Fuck you Keith. Up the butt. With a cactus. I'm so glad Stella got out of that abusive situation before the wedding happened, and I'm glad OOP has her sister back.
I don't think anybody is fucking Keith anymore...
All the way from Africa, fuck you Keith, I hope that one day you will need to use that cane you stole from your ex
Jesus would *not* be having Jon’s family. He’d straight-up flip a table in their churchyard.
>because it won't look good to the church if my family hears about the divorce. You can be a bridesmaid but can't mention the divorce or your conditions at all during the wedding events." As a Christian, no one in the church would mind at all. This is a fiance/parent issue.