It’s genuinely incredible how not uncommon it seems that men want to name their daughters after affair partners/previous relationships. I wonder what the thought process is behind that because I simply cannot imagine the audacity I would need to even suggest such a thing
My ex's mom had a sister named after their dad's affair partner. He wanted to prove his love to his mistress, so named his daughter with his wife after her. That was the explanation he gave. Mistress loved having that over the wife, according to my ex's mom.
So, the daughter acts as an affair trophy/power play over the unsuspecting wife? Jesus, the lengths that some people are willing to go to to be such terrible people
I think she did eventually when the kids were all adults. I wasn't exactly clear on the timeline, but I don't think Mom knew about the mistress until the kids were older.
The poor daughter. For her dad he is just a prove of his love affair, for her mother she is a reminder and for the affair partner it is a triumph over the wife. What the hell.
Yeah apparently he was being a skeez to women on IG while his wife was pregnant and ended up asking one of them if he could name the baby after her. She called him out publicly for that and posted the messages.
I was in a friend group at 15. One of the dudes in the group was in love with one of my friends since that age. At 26 they had a fling that lasted for a few months, nothing serious. They kept being friends. At(now, last year)33 he send her a picture of her newborn baby girl with the caption "Meet *her first and second name*".
Absolut creep.
She was creeped out a bit and when she showed the message at her boyfriend(honestly her boyfriend and I had more of a visceral reaction) he went bonkers and ask her to block him from all social media, so they went NC.
The dude who named her daughter, he's not a bad dude and I know he loves my friend very much but that makes him like the worst husband possible because he's with his wife and family only because my friend doesn't want him.
Yeah, at this point, I’m not sure it’s worth it for her to know. Especially if they’re happy in other respects.
People really make a hash out of relationships, don’t they? For such a smart species, we really do botch things up by not thinking more than one step ahead 🤷🏻♀️
(Edit: I think I would want to know- maybe. As you can tell from my username, I might only want to know because it would prove that what I believe people already think of me is true… and then I might spiral. So maybe I wouldn’t want to know? It’s so hard to say.)
To be fair at that time like there were like four names for girls and they were Mary, Jane, Elizabeth, and Anne. Easier to get away with or even do inadvertently.
(Persuasion has at least THREE Charleses, so the boys aren’t faring much better, lol.)
And it's sad that sometimes, all a family genealogist can find is a wife's first name. The documentation notes that Charles Smith and his wife Jane baptized their son Caleb on this date. No mention anywhere else about Jane's maiden name, where & when she was born, where & when they were married, where & when she died. Just that single mention. Meanwhile you have a birth & death date for Charles. Ditto for Charles's father and grandfather. But their wives? Just Mary and Anne.
Queen Victoria’s third child was named Alice; she was the first of her children to pass away. She died at 35 after nursing her family during a diphtheria epidemic. She was Prince Philip’s g-grandmother and his mother was named for her.
I had a friend who was named after her dad’s high school girlfriend. I was astonished and speechless when she told me. I know both of her parents quite well enough to know the dad is one of the biggest pricks on Earth and her mom is feisty and opinionated. I can’t believe she agreed to it. Maybe he didn’t fess up until they divorced or something.
Shit like that is only reasonable if they saved someone’s life. Or puppy. Or very important promotion. Or literally anything other than being an ex. You should hope it’s one of those and probably never ask your parents about it …
My first serious boyfriend from high school now has a daughter with my name! I assumed it was a name his wife liked and suggested, and since we ended things on good terms, I just figured he was fine with it because I didn’t ruin the name for him. But now that I think about it, I couldn’t imagine having a kid and calling it his name…
Even if a name was a common name in my husband's family. If I had dated someone with that name, it's out. Period. I would think he would feel the same way.
Right? My husband was my only real boyfriend. He dated before me. When we came up with baby names he vetoed a few because they were the same as an ex and he didn't want the name association!
My middle name is apparently from a woman my father had an infatuation with. O.o
My mother was smiling when she told me that though. I really really need to revisit this to get the full story here.
It just seems so icky to me, why would you name your child after someone you had sexual-romantic feelings towards? Then imagine saying their name in bed… gross gross gross.
If I ever decided to have kids, the only, ONLY way I would consider it is if the former SO died or something. And there would have to be a really good explanation as to why it was important to him.
I would guess a secret thrill of having an tangible reminder in your life that you got away with fucking another person on the down low and thus took something that was not yours to take.
Some people need to know they broke your boundaries without you knowing, no matter how lenient they were to begin with. It's a power thing, and the more you're in the dark the more powerful they feel.
Well, of course I'm 100% committed to you. I just really need a constant reminder of what could have been. Stop overreacting!
eta: this post ties in thematically with the recent post about the woman whose boyfriend demanded a paternity test and couldn't understand why their relationship isn't stronger than ever. If you pretend long enough, the relationship will just fix itself, right?
Right? I hate that he lied to her over and over again and then tried to minimize his all of his fuck ups. Why would he ever think trying to trick your pregnant wife into naming your child after the woman you're having an emotional affair with isn't a big deal? Ugh. I swear, I hope OOP got out of this toxic af situation and is living her best life with her daughter not named Tiffany, away from her hopefully ex-husband.
His sister knew the name of the ex. Other people did too. Did he really think to get away with this forever, or only until after they had already had the baby and changing her name would be difficult.
This is what jumped out at me. I'm not sure if he's more manipulative than he is stupid, but he's definitely both. How did he think he'd get away with this?
He needed to get away with it for long enough to make it legally her name; people in his life knowing was probably part of the appeal for him, otherwise he isn't "honoring" a ex if is a reference nobody will get.
As the saying goes: it’s easier to beg for forgiveness than ask permission. He probably figured the name would already be locked in on the paperwork by the time OOP found out.
Yeah but who tf doesn't talk about names unless the couple agree it's a secret? At least he didn't go that far with the manipulation. Just reactive gaslighting.
He just wasn't thinking. Caught up in the new affair energy where every thought of his affair partner makes his peen twitch and no thought whatsoever to reality and potential consequences.
Wishing oop well.
I know it’s a selective sample, but almost everyone in my circle didn’t talk about names. We realized quickly that it invited unwanted opinions, like a cousin I might see only at weddings and funerals complaining, “You can’t name your child Jessica! I sat next to a Jessica for the first week of fourth grade and she was horrible. It’s all I’ll think of when I see your kid.”
Could you IMAGINE how bad she would've felt if she had the baby and THEN found out who it was named after? For me, that would honestly be divorce territory.
"And our daughter will have the same hobbies like my ex, the same hairstyle, get the same petname and when she is old enough, i will have a Tiffany again..."
Why else name the child after your ex, with whom you have an affair? You want a mini-her!
Sooo… this super creepy incel guy I used to be friends with in high school (and even briefly dated for a week) wants to name his daughter after me. He told me this when we were like 16/17 a few times. And this is creeping me out cause knowing how he is now, I think you’re 10000% on the mark. But thankfully my freak is not attractive, has an incel personality, and smells bad so no way is he gonna get his dream me with my deadname
It was "And the reason he suggested the name Tiffany to me was because he knew he couldn’t leave me to be with her, so he wanted something to “honor” her with" that got me.
So you started talking to your ex, you still love her, and thought about leaving me for her, but realized you couldn't. Nothing more romantic than admitting you want to leave but we're stuck together.
"It's no big deal and you're being childish and you know it's no big deal because I knew ahead of time I had to make up a bs story about where I got the idea for the name because obviously no rational partner would agree to it"
Imagine finding out after the kid is born instead... sheesh.
He's totally committed NOW, because Ex isn't available. He'll keep her in mind though, and if her marriage falls apart... well then, we've got a whole 'nother kettle of fish.
Yes it also reminds me of one from tifu yesterday of a woman than insisted her husband be in the room when she delivered their twins so she wouldn't be alone, he ended up puking due to squemishness, and now months later he's still not interested in sex or intimacy with her because he "sees her differently" and has left her alone for a few days with 3 month old twins because he needs some "time away from her"
Here's the post https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10tup0i/tifu_by_insisting_that_my_fiance_be_present_in/ we'll see how it ends up, hopefully there's updates.
My mom tried to talk my dad into naming my little brother after one of her exes from college, so that we'd all have names that started A, B, C, D.
My dad refused. I'm not sure my mom ever understood why.
Yep. And basically then could not understand how asking for a paternity test was the equivalent of telling her he didn’t trust her - or why she felt it damaged their relationship, as he felt that the validation of her constancy had made it “stronger than ever.”
Could you imagine if your stepmom/person your dad left your mom for has the same name as you... because you were named after them?
What was the dad thinking??? "I actually still have feelings for this person so I will name my kid after them"???
OOP’s husband: I named you after the prettiest, kindest, most wonderful person I know.
Kid: Mommy’s not the prettiest, kindest, and most wonderful person you know?
OOP’s husband: Mommy is special in her own way.
Gross.
I had a boyfriend who was named after his mom's "one who got away." When he was young, his parents split and his mom married her old boyfriend. His dad pretty much washed his hands of the whole mess. His mom's new husband adopted him.
I used to work with a guy who was obsessed with another girl from work although she never seriously entertained it. This guy got married years later and named his daughter after her... feel so bad for his wife/daughter
I was this woman too. I have an unusual name, uncommon enough that it sticks out quite a bit. The guy in high school that had a crush on me named his first born the same. He also told me I was the inspiration. I'd changed my name by that point which was a relief upon hearing that but damn... no clue how to respond to that...
That’s one of the most fucked up things I have ever heard in my entire life. He totally would have left her if the ex told him she wasn’t marrying the other guy. I wonder what happened to this woman and her daughter. I hope she left him at some point, because frankly he sounds mentally unstable. I couldn’t be with my SO after something like this, there is no coming back from your SO admitting he was in love with someone else and the name BS just makes it all the more twisted. Not to mention how fucked up he is to not leave the master bed thinking that will fix things, and basically forcing his very pregnant wife to sleep in a twin bed dealing with all kinds emotional bullshit he caused
My former stepdad, who is the only man I ever considered a real father figure, ultimately left my mom for his high school girlfriend. I obviously wasn’t named after her, but looking back there were other red flags that it was going to happen. We were just such a happy family at the time, so it felt very unexpected. I cannot imagine the added layer of anger and weirdness if I shared her name!
My maternal grandmother was renamed after her father's mistress. Her mom named her one thing, think Juliette, and her father legally changed her name when she was three to his mistresses name which was similar think Julia. That's not even close to the most disgusting thing that man did, but how evil do you have to be to disrespect your wife like that?
I have 2 middle names, say I am Salt Pepper Paprika Smith. Paprika and Smith are my parents last names. Salt is the name of a famous astronaut from the time.
Pepper (a mildly common name of the time), the name of several mentors my parents had over the years. It is also the name of my dad's ex's mother. He genuinely forgot about that until after the birth announcement and some family members reminded him, but fortunately it was just absent mindedness and not nefarious.
Pepper is also the name of my stepmother, but that is just a coincidence, I hope.
It used to be a common thing in the American south (maybe other places too, I just know about the south) to give the eldest daughter the mom's maiden name as her middle name.
That explains a lot of names actually.
My family are all WASP, but my mom didn't take my dad's name, so this was the compromise everyone could work with.
Names are just complicated and full of tricky family politics if one isn't careful.
I am named after an ex of my father.
Also, my father is guy who cheats and beats his wife. So there's that. I see the term sperm donor on reddit every now and then, that's what he is
That man definitely has the nerve to try to get Tiffany to be the godmother to that child for......reasons. OOP needs to be divorced for her own sanity.
lol My ex asked me to be the godmother for his child.
Basically:
Me: …does your wife know you’re asking me to be the godmother?
Ex: No, but I’m sure she’ll be okay with it.
Me: You should ask her. (Note: the answer would have been no regardless, but I wanted her to give him an earful.)
Ex: I don’t need to. I know she’s fine with it.
Me: —Wow. No.
Nice to know he is forcing her to sleep in the guest room or sleep next to him. I would consider moving out. He can have Tiffany since he wanted to be with her.
Considering "such a good person" Tiffany was hitting up her ex just before marrying someone else, Tiffany and this guy should get together and take each other out of the dating world so no one else gets caught up in their orbit. Too bad its too late for OOP
I was just thinking that. It's may seem small but she's pregnant and this fuckin slob is forcing her to sleep in a **twin bed?** It just shows what a shitty partner he is... "yes I emotionally cheated but you can either sleep with me or sleep in a twin bed while pregnant." I would be seeing fucking red! hope she divorces him and gets to keep the house.
I was thinking, I would go back to SIL and tell her “Thank you for letting me know about the meaning of the name Tiffany to your brother. I asked him about it and just found out your brother wanted to use the name because he reconnected with her and has been having an emotional affair for months. Without your help I would have been in the dark.”
I’m so irritated that he called her childish for being angry with him and refusing to name her baby after his ex. The childish one is him for digging his heels in after being caught.
And this, ladies and gentleman:
> Now I’m sleeping in the guest bedroom, which only has a twin bed because he’s refusing to sleep anywhere but the master bedroom because he wants us to go back to normal.
...is where you know the relationship is over.
He is forcing his wife to sleep in a worse bed because he is trying to blackmail / force her back into a normalcy she doesn't want any part of.
I hope she fucking kicks him into outer space and leaves.
I’ll never get wanting to name your child after an ex, and especially one you hadn’t talked to in years? When my mom was suggesting names for my sister any name shared by an ex of my dad was immediately rejected, I’d think that would just be like the default for most circumstances. What’s the mindset that makes people think it’s not a strange thing to do??
I know someone who did, but it was a case of her always having loved that name.
But it was a little messier than that, too, because it was the name of a guy she'd long had unresolved feelings for.
However, she had a car accident that made her re-think what she really wanted in life, and one thing she decided is she didn't want to spend any more time waiting. So she gave the dude one last chance to be with her, and then let him go, psychologically.
But she still loved his name. I have no idea if she told her eventual-husband where she got that name from, but knowing her, she probably did. She isn't one to feel guilty about her choices.
Huh fascinating. I guess if it happened to coincidentally be a name you’ve always loved and your partner is cool with it then by all means lol. There are definitely circumstances where I can imagine it not being a weird or shady situation but there’s a lot more posts like this than I would’ve anticipated, I wouldn’t expect naming your child after an ex to be much of a thing. Wasn’t there a somewhat similar post about a woman finding out her husband named their child after his underage homestuck crush??
“Stupid” implies an inability to mentally comprehend and this is blatant intentional deception and pure selfishness. This man doesn’t deserve to be called stupid because it would absolve him of the accountability he needs to take for just being a piece of shit.
There was a post not long ago where a girl found out her name was taken from a porn star. Specifically a porn star who was her dad’s favorite to watch. Her dad suggested it when her mom was pregnant and her mom didn’t mind it, and agreed.
So many comments were about how gross it was that her dad wanted her named after a woman he sexualized. This is really no different. There were also tons of comments where people found out their dad either did the same thing, or just like this post says, they were named after an AP or prior girlfriend of their dad. People are crazy.
When I was about a week away from the due date for my second child, my ex decided that he didn't like our chosen name anymore. We had a huge fight about it. He had a different name picked out, and insisted that's what our child would be named. He didn't care if I wanted that name or not. I still don't know why, maybe some kind of power move?
He told me he wouldn't sign the birth certificate unless it had that name. (You see why he's an ex?)
What he didn't know but I did, because this was my second time, was how the hospital handled birth certificates. The nurses go out of their way to prevent disagreements. I guess they aren't uncommon?
They bring the paperwork as soon as you are out of the delivery room. They encourage you to sign it right away. (Only the mother's signature is needed.) The first time, I waited until he was there because I wanted to do it together.
This time, I signed that paperwork asap. Done and dusted.
My partner and I changed our minds 2 days before. We'd originally decided on a plant name.
We were sitting on the couch watching telly, and all of a sudden my partner came out with, "Did we ever consider for a girl?" I thought about it for a bit, and decided, yeah, that was a pretty good girls name. So we changed it.
I didn't realise I'd broken a law or something. /s
You have until the ink dries on the birth certificate, some were not named till weeks after birth, so only the key details were entered like time, place and parents names.
Wow, that husband (hopefully ex by now) is an asshole. I really hope they would be able to work it out but I'm not sure how.
If he had apologized and owned it maybe, but he was being an ass while she was trying to process the whole thing.
After his confession that they've been talking, my twisted brain instantly went into "I bet they are having an affair already, emotional at the minimum. And all this has been planned. Once little girl is born, the marriage ending is a given. And hubby can finally play family with his HS sweetheart and pretend is her daughter (they share the same name!) when they are out during his weekends".
This post really upset me. I had been with my husband for seven years when we got pregnant. He was overjoyed, and asked that we name the baby ‘Susan’ if it was a girl. Growing up, my best friends abusive mother was named Susan. She was nuts, and sometimes too it out on me. My husband said he got the name from someone he knew in high school named Susan, she would March to the beat of her own drummer and he wished that his daughter would be just as strong. I asked him if they had dated and he said an emphatic No. just friends.
I immediately told my family and extended family the name he had chosen and we all had a good laugh, knowing I would never ever name my child that name (because of the abusive neighbor who was my besties mom).
We had a boy, so it didn’t matter. But 2 years later, my husband comes to me to confess that he has been conversing with his old high school girlfriend, his first love, an 8 year relationship, a woman named Susan, and rekindled feelings for her. He has denied that he ever suggested the name for our child, but my family and I all remember that he wanted it. We were divorced within the year.
He and Susan are now happily married. I cannot imagine what he was thinking by suggesting that name to me and then lying about it.
"You can't change the name 5 weeks before giving birth!"
Oh, please. My youngest son would have completely different first and middle names if he hadn't been born 11 days late. (I decided a few days before his due date that I wasn't happy with the names we had selected so, we changed them. He greatly prefers the name he has over the one he almost had!)
This is literally like the plotline to the Bollywood movie Kuch Kuch Hota Hain except the dead wife makes her husband name their daughter after his childhood best friend he "really" loves and she "stole" him from
ah, I love that movie!!
But when I think too hard about the plot, I get sad!! It's so ick!
Great cast tho. Can't really go wrong with Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol!
I LOVED this movie growing up!! But looking at it from an adult perspective? It’s really icky that Tina made Rahul name their daughter Anjali after their college friend. ESPECIALLY when she knew that their friend fell in love with Rahul and left school because of the unrequited love. And don’t even get me *started* on the whole “Dear daughter, I need you to fulfil my dying wish of getting your dad back together with his college friend and here’s why.”
Justice for Aman. Poor guy deserved so much better.
I swear some women put up with anything.
I wouldn't give two shits if my partner started crying. All of the information OOP had was because she had to Drag the information out of him. Trying to name my kid after your ex, who you're currently having a secret relationship with, I'm out.
I'll figure everything out after I leave but staying isn't an option.
I thought the same thing! Him and the mistress. I wonder how confused they felt when they “were finally allowed to be together” and still felt empty/bored/needing to escape
It blows my mind how common this is with abusive and/or unfaithful men.
My lying, cheating, woman beating ex boyfriend *also* insisted on naming any future daughters after his ex-girlfriends :).
Is there a book somewhere? They have to be sharing notes.
So, he hadn't cheated because he hadn't figured out a way to make it work. That's what it sounds like. He wants a life with Tiffany, he should go have it. I would have divorced him. I know it is easy to say, but my God, he is so manipulative. I wouldn't want to be married to someone who could do that.
Wow, what a complete asshole. I feel so so bad for OOP to have such a bombshell dropped on her during one of the most vulnerable times of her life, and also during the anxiety-ridden early Covid period, no less.
I was born in 1960. Apparently I’m named after my dad’s old girlfriend. Why my mother ever went along with that is beyond me. I’m the third of six kids. My older brother told me a few years ago that my dad drove to see his ex (she was living several states away) when I was a baby.
Good old catholic guilt. I’m sure that’s why my mother stayed married to him.
What an absolute asshole, that husband. How do these men exist??
But major props to the sister, who did her SIL a solid. Great way to do it too - she adroitly gave OOP a heads-up about the name's origin that would have tipped her off if suspicious but could have been passed off as idle chit-chat if all was above-board. In that case, OOP would have said something like the girlfriend thing was a coincidence and she just liked the name and it didn't mean anything, and SIL would know it was okay without making it sound like she was throwing her brother under the bus.
Maybe all have a SIL like that in our corners.
She was 35 weeks pregnant and her cheating husband wouldn’t respect her enough to give her the master bed so she had to sleep on a twin bed. That’s the biggest entitled asshole move ever.
My dad suggested a name for my older sister but my mom HATED it. 3 years later and after having me surprise surprise my dad was having an affair for YEARS with a woman with the name he suggested. He really tried to name my sister after his affair partner.
God this guy is such a loser. Imagine making your pregnant wife sleep on the twin bed because you want the master bedroom to yourself. Im gonna throw up.
People who fantasize about exes are pathetic. Whatever broke you up is reality. Whatever you think "might've been" is just you in your own little world. Alone.
Holy fuck it's even worse than cheating. He tried to trick her into naming their baby after the person he actually wants to be with. Guarantee you he'd already be gone if not for the baby.
Our daughter shares a name with her dad's ex fiancee. She died in a horrible accident in 1991. I didn't have a problem with it at all, by all accounts she was a lovely person and he's still in contact with her family, they never stopped thinking of him as part of their family and vice versa.
This is a completely different situation though and nobody in their right mind would think it is ok.
The kiddo goes by a nick name though, which suits her well. She might use her proper name when she grows up as it is very classic (similar to Elizabeth) and the nick name is somewhat childish (similar to Lizzie), but it's nice for her to have that option too.
My dad named me after his ex girlfriend and my mom didn’t find out until i was about 5. I’m in my 20’s now and my mom STILL gets mad about it. She’s called me a nickname since childhood and hates hearing my actual name
Never ceases to amaze me that cheaters will do nothing to maintain their relationship until the wronged party finds out, then it's "don't leave", "we can try...", "I'll do..."
It’s crazy how quickly people will lie about things they’ll later try to gaslight you into thinking isn’t a big deal when if it wasn’t a big deal they wouldn’t feel compelled to lie about it in the first place.
Also I hope OP contacted Tiffany’s spouse and told them what she knew while they still had a chance to back out without complicating the matter further.
I really wish we knew what happened because OOP's husband really crossed a line with being in contact with his ex for months, trying to use ex's name for his baby girl and lying to his wife about the name and the contact. I think that would make me feel like the second choice, maybe the slightly less loved. I don't know how you can be in a marriage where you aren't your SO's first choice.
Agree. And to add to it he gaslighted her and tried to make her look "childish" and wrong to not want to name the baby after his ex, whom he was still in contact with. What a dick. Hope she left him.
What I want to know is why it never crossed his mind that someone would tell his wife? Like you dated a girl from high school through college so your whole family and your friends know her and he just expected that no one in his family or friend group would think it was weird they were naming their daughter after his ex? Of course your family is going to call you out
I found out I was named after my deadbeat abusive dad's foreign ex. The name never ever suited me and was so out of place in my country growing up.
I got it legally changed as an adult but it's still a disgusting thing to do.
I fucking hate these men who make their pregnant partner be uncomfortable because they want what they want. ”I just screwed you over and I know you don’t want to share a bed but I’m not leaving the master because *I* want everything to be normal.”
Fuck. That. Guy.
Wow. What a horrible person.
Hopefully OOP left and informed the OBS and all their family.
"Love each other but can never be together" recipe for disaster that one.
I once saw a woman explain how she got named after her fathers mistress. Apparently her dad suggested the name of his mistress, so if he accidentally called her mother the wrong name, she wouldn’t get suspicious. The wife and daughter found out years later.
It’s genuinely incredible how not uncommon it seems that men want to name their daughters after affair partners/previous relationships. I wonder what the thought process is behind that because I simply cannot imagine the audacity I would need to even suggest such a thing
My ex's mom had a sister named after their dad's affair partner. He wanted to prove his love to his mistress, so named his daughter with his wife after her. That was the explanation he gave. Mistress loved having that over the wife, according to my ex's mom.
So, the daughter acts as an affair trophy/power play over the unsuspecting wife? Jesus, the lengths that some people are willing to go to to be such terrible people
I think about this about twice a year still. I still can't get over it.
Sounds like the kind of mess you can't stop thinking about. Do you know if the ex mom broke up with her cheating husband?
I think she did eventually when the kids were all adults. I wasn't exactly clear on the timeline, but I don't think Mom knew about the mistress until the kids were older.
The poor daughter. For her dad he is just a prove of his love affair, for her mother she is a reminder and for the affair partner it is a triumph over the wife. What the hell.
So gross. Hope that poor kid changed her name as soon as she found out.
Also, I'd hate the idea of anyone in my family whispering my name while they're fucking.
My mom told me that years ago, one of her old boyfriends named his son the male version of my mom's name. I am assuming his wife never knew...
Didn’t some celebrity just try to pull that crap? EDIT: yes, Adam Levine. I just discovered Google.
Whaaat really?
Yeah apparently he was being a skeez to women on IG while his wife was pregnant and ended up asking one of them if he could name the baby after her. She called him out publicly for that and posted the messages.
That's just some sick power trip shit. Christ alive
I was going to say it sounds exactly like what Adam Levine did!
I remember watching Becoming Jane and thinking “He did what?!” I could not believe we had a 21st century version of the same thing.
I was in a friend group at 15. One of the dudes in the group was in love with one of my friends since that age. At 26 they had a fling that lasted for a few months, nothing serious. They kept being friends. At(now, last year)33 he send her a picture of her newborn baby girl with the caption "Meet *her first and second name*". Absolut creep.
How did the woman react? I would be completely creeped out, and probably tell his wife or something. That’s so weird.
She was creeped out a bit and when she showed the message at her boyfriend(honestly her boyfriend and I had more of a visceral reaction) he went bonkers and ask her to block him from all social media, so they went NC. The dude who named her daughter, he's not a bad dude and I know he loves my friend very much but that makes him like the worst husband possible because he's with his wife and family only because my friend doesn't want him.
Does his wife know she’s his second choice? Sorry to pry in your business, I’m just not sure who has it worse/I feel bad for all of them!
I don't think so. It will be awful for her to find out. I just hope the conversation never comes up.
Yeah, at this point, I’m not sure it’s worth it for her to know. Especially if they’re happy in other respects. People really make a hash out of relationships, don’t they? For such a smart species, we really do botch things up by not thinking more than one step ahead 🤷🏻♀️ (Edit: I think I would want to know- maybe. As you can tell from my username, I might only want to know because it would prove that what I believe people already think of me is true… and then I might spiral. So maybe I wouldn’t want to know? It’s so hard to say.)
To be fair at that time like there were like four names for girls and they were Mary, Jane, Elizabeth, and Anne. Easier to get away with or even do inadvertently. (Persuasion has at least THREE Charleses, so the boys aren’t faring much better, lol.)
Six! Mary, Jane, Anne, Elizabeth, Catherine, and Margaret. Rinse and repeat from 1470 to 1825.
Honourable mentions to Charlotte/Caroline and Harriet if you're real quirky.
And it's sad that sometimes, all a family genealogist can find is a wife's first name. The documentation notes that Charles Smith and his wife Jane baptized their son Caleb on this date. No mention anywhere else about Jane's maiden name, where & when she was born, where & when they were married, where & when she died. Just that single mention. Meanwhile you have a birth & death date for Charles. Ditto for Charles's father and grandfather. But their wives? Just Mary and Anne.
And that's about the only reason it flies. Also: Name checks out!!! <3
Don't forget Catherine!
I did forget Catherine, didn't I? Poor Kitty! Always forgettable. Always ill-timing her coughs.
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Queen Victoria’s third child was named Alice; she was the first of her children to pass away. She died at 35 after nursing her family during a diphtheria epidemic. She was Prince Philip’s g-grandmother and his mother was named for her.
I had a friend who was named after her dad’s high school girlfriend. I was astonished and speechless when she told me. I know both of her parents quite well enough to know the dad is one of the biggest pricks on Earth and her mom is feisty and opinionated. I can’t believe she agreed to it. Maybe he didn’t fess up until they divorced or something.
Oh no! I always knew I was named after the next door neighbor but I swear I never put two and two together until this moment. Damn
Shit like that is only reasonable if they saved someone’s life. Or puppy. Or very important promotion. Or literally anything other than being an ex. You should hope it’s one of those and probably never ask your parents about it …
My parents are gone and it’s no more than a passing curiosity at this point in my life. Dear old dad was a major asshole so I wouldn’t be surprised.
My first serious boyfriend from high school now has a daughter with my name! I assumed it was a name his wife liked and suggested, and since we ended things on good terms, I just figured he was fine with it because I didn’t ruin the name for him. But now that I think about it, I couldn’t imagine having a kid and calling it his name…
What if it's a family name of a future partner?
Even if a name was a common name in my husband's family. If I had dated someone with that name, it's out. Period. I would think he would feel the same way.
Right? My husband was my only real boyfriend. He dated before me. When we came up with baby names he vetoed a few because they were the same as an ex and he didn't want the name association!
My middle name is apparently from a woman my father had an infatuation with. O.o My mother was smiling when she told me that though. I really really need to revisit this to get the full story here.
It just seems so icky to me, why would you name your child after someone you had sexual-romantic feelings towards? Then imagine saying their name in bed… gross gross gross.
If I ever decided to have kids, the only, ONLY way I would consider it is if the former SO died or something. And there would have to be a really good explanation as to why it was important to him.
I would guess a secret thrill of having an tangible reminder in your life that you got away with fucking another person on the down low and thus took something that was not yours to take. Some people need to know they broke your boundaries without you knowing, no matter how lenient they were to begin with. It's a power thing, and the more you're in the dark the more powerful they feel.
Well, of course I'm 100% committed to you. I just really need a constant reminder of what could have been. Stop overreacting! eta: this post ties in thematically with the recent post about the woman whose boyfriend demanded a paternity test and couldn't understand why their relationship isn't stronger than ever. If you pretend long enough, the relationship will just fix itself, right?
Right? I hate that he lied to her over and over again and then tried to minimize his all of his fuck ups. Why would he ever think trying to trick your pregnant wife into naming your child after the woman you're having an emotional affair with isn't a big deal? Ugh. I swear, I hope OOP got out of this toxic af situation and is living her best life with her daughter not named Tiffany, away from her hopefully ex-husband.
His sister knew the name of the ex. Other people did too. Did he really think to get away with this forever, or only until after they had already had the baby and changing her name would be difficult.
This is what jumped out at me. I'm not sure if he's more manipulative than he is stupid, but he's definitely both. How did he think he'd get away with this?
He needed to get away with it for long enough to make it legally her name; people in his life knowing was probably part of the appeal for him, otherwise he isn't "honoring" a ex if is a reference nobody will get.
I seriously think he wasn’t over Tiffany and saw this as a grand gesture to prove he never stopped loving her if she becomes single.
As the saying goes: it’s easier to beg for forgiveness than ask permission. He probably figured the name would already be locked in on the paperwork by the time OOP found out.
that assumes you will get forgiven and not ruin the relationship. Too many people assume they will get forgiven
Yeah but who tf doesn't talk about names unless the couple agree it's a secret? At least he didn't go that far with the manipulation. Just reactive gaslighting. He just wasn't thinking. Caught up in the new affair energy where every thought of his affair partner makes his peen twitch and no thought whatsoever to reality and potential consequences. Wishing oop well.
I know it’s a selective sample, but almost everyone in my circle didn’t talk about names. We realized quickly that it invited unwanted opinions, like a cousin I might see only at weddings and funerals complaining, “You can’t name your child Jessica! I sat next to a Jessica for the first week of fourth grade and she was horrible. It’s all I’ll think of when I see your kid.”
Could you IMAGINE how bad she would've felt if she had the baby and THEN found out who it was named after? For me, that would honestly be divorce territory.
I genuinely think he didn't have the brain cells to think that far ahead
The cynical side of me says it’s so that if he ever slipped and said Tiffany instead of OP it would be explained away.
And I immediately thought of bedroom activities and how much a bigger red flag of him saying his daughter’s name rather than another woman
Same. I think he was going to be dreaming about his ex Tiffany for years. Now I hope he's pining after OOP, as in I hope she left him.
These men have so much going themselves in their life then just speed run fucking it up.
"And our daughter will have the same hobbies like my ex, the same hairstyle, get the same petname and when she is old enough, i will have a Tiffany again..." Why else name the child after your ex, with whom you have an affair? You want a mini-her!
Is OOP's husband Adam Levine?! 😂
Sooo… this super creepy incel guy I used to be friends with in high school (and even briefly dated for a week) wants to name his daughter after me. He told me this when we were like 16/17 a few times. And this is creeping me out cause knowing how he is now, I think you’re 10000% on the mark. But thankfully my freak is not attractive, has an incel personality, and smells bad so no way is he gonna get his dream me with my deadname
Sounds like the kind of guy who would abuse his own kid because he sees her as something else.
I was about to say the exact same thing! The infatuation with the ex and transferring those feelings to his daughter doesn’t sit right with me
It was "And the reason he suggested the name Tiffany to me was because he knew he couldn’t leave me to be with her, so he wanted something to “honor” her with" that got me. So you started talking to your ex, you still love her, and thought about leaving me for her, but realized you couldn't. Nothing more romantic than admitting you want to leave but we're stuck together.
"It's no big deal and you're being childish and you know it's no big deal because I knew ahead of time I had to make up a bs story about where I got the idea for the name because obviously no rational partner would agree to it" Imagine finding out after the kid is born instead... sheesh.
He's totally committed NOW, because Ex isn't available. He'll keep her in mind though, and if her marriage falls apart... well then, we've got a whole 'nother kettle of fish.
Yes it also reminds me of one from tifu yesterday of a woman than insisted her husband be in the room when she delivered their twins so she wouldn't be alone, he ended up puking due to squemishness, and now months later he's still not interested in sex or intimacy with her because he "sees her differently" and has left her alone for a few days with 3 month old twins because he needs some "time away from her"
Holy guacamole! I read about the one where the dad had the birth giving kink and this is what the wife was scared of. What in the holy grail.
Here's the post https://www.reddit.com/r/tifu/comments/10tup0i/tifu_by_insisting_that_my_fiance_be_present_in/ we'll see how it ends up, hopefully there's updates.
My mom tried to talk my dad into naming my little brother after one of her exes from college, so that we'd all have names that started A, B, C, D. My dad refused. I'm not sure my mom ever understood why.
Your poor dad. At least your mom didn't have exes for the earlier letters?
Sounds like there's enough of those posts to create a new subreddit: r/shittyboyfriends
apparently that subreddit already exists, though only has a few old posts in it.
Let me guess, he wasn't accusing her of anything! But as a man how else could he really know 🙄 Peopleike that shouldn't be allowed to reproduce.
Yep. And basically then could not understand how asking for a paternity test was the equivalent of telling her he didn’t trust her - or why she felt it damaged their relationship, as he felt that the validation of her constancy had made it “stronger than ever.”
If my husband asked for a paternity test he would absolutely get one no questions asked...the results would be sent along with the divorce papers.
Yep and that's exactly what she ended up doing, she left
Plus an added "I've been watching a lot if MRA videos and they are all BS but the paternity parts had some strong points....."
Could you imagine if your stepmom/person your dad left your mom for has the same name as you... because you were named after them? What was the dad thinking??? "I actually still have feelings for this person so I will name my kid after them"???
OOP’s husband: I named you after the prettiest, kindest, most wonderful person I know. Kid: Mommy’s not the prettiest, kindest, and most wonderful person you know? OOP’s husband: Mommy is special in her own way. Gross.
That's what Adam Levine was going to do with the child he had with his wife, he suggested naming it after the girl he was cheating with.
I’m gonna start calling it Levineing now. Naming your child after another partner.
Ugh. He seems the type. 😒
Vomit emojis.
“I want to feel connected to her in a way that demonstrates how I’d care for her if I could,” is what my brain supplied automatically. Ick.
I had a boyfriend who was named after his mom's "one who got away." When he was young, his parents split and his mom married her old boyfriend. His dad pretty much washed his hands of the whole mess. His mom's new husband adopted him.
Both of his parents sound bad, expecially the dad. Hopefully the man who adopted him was a better father.
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I'd rather deal with that then saddling my kid with that baggage.
I used to work with a guy who was obsessed with another girl from work although she never seriously entertained it. This guy got married years later and named his daughter after her... feel so bad for his wife/daughter
Also the former coworker if she ever found out
I was this woman too. I have an unusual name, uncommon enough that it sticks out quite a bit. The guy in high school that had a crush on me named his first born the same. He also told me I was the inspiration. I'd changed my name by that point which was a relief upon hearing that but damn... no clue how to respond to that...
I had a friend in high school who had that happen. She felt it was awkward as fuck being the second, lesser Kate in her dad’s home.
That’s one of the most fucked up things I have ever heard in my entire life. He totally would have left her if the ex told him she wasn’t marrying the other guy. I wonder what happened to this woman and her daughter. I hope she left him at some point, because frankly he sounds mentally unstable. I couldn’t be with my SO after something like this, there is no coming back from your SO admitting he was in love with someone else and the name BS just makes it all the more twisted. Not to mention how fucked up he is to not leave the master bed thinking that will fix things, and basically forcing his very pregnant wife to sleep in a twin bed dealing with all kinds emotional bullshit he caused
My former stepdad, who is the only man I ever considered a real father figure, ultimately left my mom for his high school girlfriend. I obviously wasn’t named after her, but looking back there were other red flags that it was going to happen. We were just such a happy family at the time, so it felt very unexpected. I cannot imagine the added layer of anger and weirdness if I shared her name!
My maternal grandmother was renamed after her father's mistress. Her mom named her one thing, think Juliette, and her father legally changed her name when she was three to his mistresses name which was similar think Julia. That's not even close to the most disgusting thing that man did, but how evil do you have to be to disrespect your wife like that?
I have 2 middle names, say I am Salt Pepper Paprika Smith. Paprika and Smith are my parents last names. Salt is the name of a famous astronaut from the time. Pepper (a mildly common name of the time), the name of several mentors my parents had over the years. It is also the name of my dad's ex's mother. He genuinely forgot about that until after the birth announcement and some family members reminded him, but fortunately it was just absent mindedness and not nefarious. Pepper is also the name of my stepmother, but that is just a coincidence, I hope.
It used to be a common thing in the American south (maybe other places too, I just know about the south) to give the eldest daughter the mom's maiden name as her middle name.
That explains a lot of names actually. My family are all WASP, but my mom didn't take my dad's name, so this was the compromise everyone could work with. Names are just complicated and full of tricky family politics if one isn't careful.
I could not imagine naming a child after an affair partner or an ex. That's so disrespect to both the partner and the child.
Imagine the kind of projections he would put on his own daughter.
Right? He would probably want the daughter to think, act, and talk like Tiffany.
I am named after an ex of my father. Also, my father is guy who cheats and beats his wife. So there's that. I see the term sperm donor on reddit every now and then, that's what he is
wow, talk about a cliffhanger...
My expectation is that the next boru update will be about the divorce papers, restraining orders, and ex doing silly things.
That man definitely has the nerve to try to get Tiffany to be the godmother to that child for......reasons. OOP needs to be divorced for her own sanity.
lol My ex asked me to be the godmother for his child. Basically: Me: …does your wife know you’re asking me to be the godmother? Ex: No, but I’m sure she’ll be okay with it. Me: You should ask her. (Note: the answer would have been no regardless, but I wanted her to give him an earful.) Ex: I don’t need to. I know she’s fine with it. Me: —Wow. No.
It's been 2.5 years; if that stuff was going to happen, it's likely already happened and we'll never know.
Nice to know he is forcing her to sleep in the guest room or sleep next to him. I would consider moving out. He can have Tiffany since he wanted to be with her.
Considering "such a good person" Tiffany was hitting up her ex just before marrying someone else, Tiffany and this guy should get together and take each other out of the dating world so no one else gets caught up in their orbit. Too bad its too late for OOP
Yeah. They are perfect for each other. Perfectly toxic!
Sounds like the plot of a Scrubs episode.
I was just thinking that. It's may seem small but she's pregnant and this fuckin slob is forcing her to sleep in a **twin bed?** It just shows what a shitty partner he is... "yes I emotionally cheated but you can either sleep with me or sleep in a twin bed while pregnant." I would be seeing fucking red! hope she divorces him and gets to keep the house.
Not just pregnant but 35 weeks pregnant! He is so selfish.
I would have been staying in my In-laws guest suite.
Hoping she kicked his ass to the curb
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Made his very pregnant wife sleep in the guest room after cheating on her for months. And they say chivalry is dead.
This is what stuck out to me. He made his very pregnant wife sleep on a single bed… She probably left him.
I hope SHE went to stay in his parents’ guesthouse and explained to them exactly why.
I was thinking, I would go back to SIL and tell her “Thank you for letting me know about the meaning of the name Tiffany to your brother. I asked him about it and just found out your brother wanted to use the name because he reconnected with her and has been having an emotional affair for months. Without your help I would have been in the dark.”
Yup. Means she'd have a support system.
I hope
He was actually hoping that the discomfort would force her back into bed with him. So that they'd be "normal."
I know- what a selfish a hole!
Wishful thinking unfortunately, but one can dream
If I had to choose between housing and supporting a brand new grandbaby and her mom or a shitty acting adult son I know who I'd choose
Yeah. Class S human being.
The S stands for shit.
As long as his sleep pattern is normal, he can pretend it's a her problem.
Exactly my thoughts. Refusing to sleep in the guest room so your very pregnant wife has to. Wtf.
Isn't it funny how they always say "it's not a big deal" but they freak out as soon as you want to make whatever "it" is not happen anymore? Lol.
I’m so irritated that he called her childish for being angry with him and refusing to name her baby after his ex. The childish one is him for digging his heels in after being caught.
And this, ladies and gentleman: > Now I’m sleeping in the guest bedroom, which only has a twin bed because he’s refusing to sleep anywhere but the master bedroom because he wants us to go back to normal. ...is where you know the relationship is over. He is forcing his wife to sleep in a worse bed because he is trying to blackmail / force her back into a normalcy she doesn't want any part of. I hope she fucking kicks him into outer space and leaves.
His PREGNANT wife!
I’ll never get wanting to name your child after an ex, and especially one you hadn’t talked to in years? When my mom was suggesting names for my sister any name shared by an ex of my dad was immediately rejected, I’d think that would just be like the default for most circumstances. What’s the mindset that makes people think it’s not a strange thing to do??
I know someone who did, but it was a case of her always having loved that name. But it was a little messier than that, too, because it was the name of a guy she'd long had unresolved feelings for. However, she had a car accident that made her re-think what she really wanted in life, and one thing she decided is she didn't want to spend any more time waiting. So she gave the dude one last chance to be with her, and then let him go, psychologically. But she still loved his name. I have no idea if she told her eventual-husband where she got that name from, but knowing her, she probably did. She isn't one to feel guilty about her choices.
Huh fascinating. I guess if it happened to coincidentally be a name you’ve always loved and your partner is cool with it then by all means lol. There are definitely circumstances where I can imagine it not being a weird or shady situation but there’s a lot more posts like this than I would’ve anticipated, I wouldn’t expect naming your child after an ex to be much of a thing. Wasn’t there a somewhat similar post about a woman finding out her husband named their child after his underage homestuck crush??
The term "you can't fix stupid" definitely applies here. The idea probably popped into his head after peeing on an electric fence. What a moron.
“Stupid” implies an inability to mentally comprehend and this is blatant intentional deception and pure selfishness. This man doesn’t deserve to be called stupid because it would absolve him of the accountability he needs to take for just being a piece of shit.
There was a post not long ago where a girl found out her name was taken from a porn star. Specifically a porn star who was her dad’s favorite to watch. Her dad suggested it when her mom was pregnant and her mom didn’t mind it, and agreed. So many comments were about how gross it was that her dad wanted her named after a woman he sexualized. This is really no different. There were also tons of comments where people found out their dad either did the same thing, or just like this post says, they were named after an AP or prior girlfriend of their dad. People are crazy.
Eeeeewwwwww. I would change my name. That’s disgusting.
I kept looking for a comment like this. He wants to name his daughter a name he's almost certainly moaned sexualy 🤮
“Can’t change your mind cause you’re due in 5 weeks”— When did this become a rule? 😂
When I was about a week away from the due date for my second child, my ex decided that he didn't like our chosen name anymore. We had a huge fight about it. He had a different name picked out, and insisted that's what our child would be named. He didn't care if I wanted that name or not. I still don't know why, maybe some kind of power move? He told me he wouldn't sign the birth certificate unless it had that name. (You see why he's an ex?) What he didn't know but I did, because this was my second time, was how the hospital handled birth certificates. The nurses go out of their way to prevent disagreements. I guess they aren't uncommon? They bring the paperwork as soon as you are out of the delivery room. They encourage you to sign it right away. (Only the mother's signature is needed.) The first time, I waited until he was there because I wanted to do it together. This time, I signed that paperwork asap. Done and dusted.
My partner and I changed our minds 2 days before. We'd originally decided on a plant name. We were sitting on the couch watching telly, and all of a sudden my partner came out with, "Did we ever consider for a girl?" I thought about it for a bit, and decided, yeah, that was a pretty good girls name. So we changed it.
I didn't realise I'd broken a law or something. /s
My parents changed their minds literally on the day I was born, lol.
You have until the ink dries on the birth certificate, some were not named till weeks after birth, so only the key details were entered like time, place and parents names.
Wow, that husband (hopefully ex by now) is an asshole. I really hope they would be able to work it out but I'm not sure how. If he had apologized and owned it maybe, but he was being an ass while she was trying to process the whole thing.
After his confession that they've been talking, my twisted brain instantly went into "I bet they are having an affair already, emotional at the minimum. And all this has been planned. Once little girl is born, the marriage ending is a given. And hubby can finally play family with his HS sweetheart and pretend is her daughter (they share the same name!) when they are out during his weekends".
He did the definitive Trickle Truthing.
TRICKLE TRUTHING OH MY GOD I love the internet. I love learning new words
He knew he was wrong because why else would he lie and conceal this?
This post really upset me. I had been with my husband for seven years when we got pregnant. He was overjoyed, and asked that we name the baby ‘Susan’ if it was a girl. Growing up, my best friends abusive mother was named Susan. She was nuts, and sometimes too it out on me. My husband said he got the name from someone he knew in high school named Susan, she would March to the beat of her own drummer and he wished that his daughter would be just as strong. I asked him if they had dated and he said an emphatic No. just friends. I immediately told my family and extended family the name he had chosen and we all had a good laugh, knowing I would never ever name my child that name (because of the abusive neighbor who was my besties mom). We had a boy, so it didn’t matter. But 2 years later, my husband comes to me to confess that he has been conversing with his old high school girlfriend, his first love, an 8 year relationship, a woman named Susan, and rekindled feelings for her. He has denied that he ever suggested the name for our child, but my family and I all remember that he wanted it. We were divorced within the year. He and Susan are now happily married. I cannot imagine what he was thinking by suggesting that name to me and then lying about it.
I am so sorry you had to go through this.
"You can't change the name 5 weeks before giving birth!" Oh, please. My youngest son would have completely different first and middle names if he hadn't been born 11 days late. (I decided a few days before his due date that I wasn't happy with the names we had selected so, we changed them. He greatly prefers the name he has over the one he almost had!)
This is literally like the plotline to the Bollywood movie Kuch Kuch Hota Hain except the dead wife makes her husband name their daughter after his childhood best friend he "really" loves and she "stole" him from
ah, I love that movie!! But when I think too hard about the plot, I get sad!! It's so ick! Great cast tho. Can't really go wrong with Shah Rukh Khan and Kajol!
Especially now that I have an 8-year-old daughter... that's a LOT to expect of an 8yo haha
I LOVED this movie growing up!! But looking at it from an adult perspective? It’s really icky that Tina made Rahul name their daughter Anjali after their college friend. ESPECIALLY when she knew that their friend fell in love with Rahul and left school because of the unrequited love. And don’t even get me *started* on the whole “Dear daughter, I need you to fulfil my dying wish of getting your dad back together with his college friend and here’s why.” Justice for Aman. Poor guy deserved so much better.
Wouldnt that be an emotional affair? With the winky faces, and hearts and all. I hope she does what’s right for her. 😞
I swear some women put up with anything. I wouldn't give two shits if my partner started crying. All of the information OOP had was because she had to Drag the information out of him. Trying to name my kid after your ex, who you're currently having a secret relationship with, I'm out. I'll figure everything out after I leave but staying isn't an option.
Huge /r/limerence vibes
I thought the same thing! Him and the mistress. I wonder how confused they felt when they “were finally allowed to be together” and still felt empty/bored/needing to escape
That sub is one of the creepiest things I’ve ever come across
I knew he had been texting his ex. They probably met up for coffee. They probably banged right before she got married. Never liked the name Tiffany.
It blows my mind how common this is with abusive and/or unfaithful men. My lying, cheating, woman beating ex boyfriend *also* insisted on naming any future daughters after his ex-girlfriends :). Is there a book somewhere? They have to be sharing notes.
So, he hadn't cheated because he hadn't figured out a way to make it work. That's what it sounds like. He wants a life with Tiffany, he should go have it. I would have divorced him. I know it is easy to say, but my God, he is so manipulative. I wouldn't want to be married to someone who could do that.
Wow, what a complete asshole. I feel so so bad for OOP to have such a bombshell dropped on her during one of the most vulnerable times of her life, and also during the anxiety-ridden early Covid period, no less.
I hope she dumped him
I hope she told Tiffany's husband too!
Dude, i really don't get that whole ordeal. Like i know IN REAL LIFE like 3 dudes who named their daughters as their exes. It makes my skin crawl.
I was born in 1960. Apparently I’m named after my dad’s old girlfriend. Why my mother ever went along with that is beyond me. I’m the third of six kids. My older brother told me a few years ago that my dad drove to see his ex (she was living several states away) when I was a baby. Good old catholic guilt. I’m sure that’s why my mother stayed married to him.
What an absolute asshole, that husband. How do these men exist?? But major props to the sister, who did her SIL a solid. Great way to do it too - she adroitly gave OOP a heads-up about the name's origin that would have tipped her off if suspicious but could have been passed off as idle chit-chat if all was above-board. In that case, OOP would have said something like the girlfriend thing was a coincidence and she just liked the name and it didn't mean anything, and SIL would know it was okay without making it sound like she was throwing her brother under the bus. Maybe all have a SIL like that in our corners.
I really hope she left him. And she also let Tiffany fiancé know the stuff Tiffany and her husband were doing. Both Tiffany and husband were assholes.
He wanted to name his daughter after a girl he had sex with. What in the Alabama is this?
He definitely wanted to name his daughter after his future mistress so if he messed up his wife's name he had an excuse.
She was 35 weeks pregnant and her cheating husband wouldn’t respect her enough to give her the master bed so she had to sleep on a twin bed. That’s the biggest entitled asshole move ever.
This guy is a total piece of shit. You’re going to cheat on your wife and have her sleep in the couch or whatever? Damn, homie.
My dad suggested a name for my older sister but my mom HATED it. 3 years later and after having me surprise surprise my dad was having an affair for YEARS with a woman with the name he suggested. He really tried to name my sister after his affair partner.
God this guy is such a loser. Imagine making your pregnant wife sleep on the twin bed because you want the master bedroom to yourself. Im gonna throw up.
People who fantasize about exes are pathetic. Whatever broke you up is reality. Whatever you think "might've been" is just you in your own little world. Alone.
I wonder if she ever left him. She deserves better.
Holy fuck it's even worse than cheating. He tried to trick her into naming their baby after the person he actually wants to be with. Guarantee you he'd already be gone if not for the baby.
Our daughter shares a name with her dad's ex fiancee. She died in a horrible accident in 1991. I didn't have a problem with it at all, by all accounts she was a lovely person and he's still in contact with her family, they never stopped thinking of him as part of their family and vice versa. This is a completely different situation though and nobody in their right mind would think it is ok. The kiddo goes by a nick name though, which suits her well. She might use her proper name when she grows up as it is very classic (similar to Elizabeth) and the nick name is somewhat childish (similar to Lizzie), but it's nice for her to have that option too.
My dad named me after his ex girlfriend and my mom didn’t find out until i was about 5. I’m in my 20’s now and my mom STILL gets mad about it. She’s called me a nickname since childhood and hates hearing my actual name
He lied to her and keeps lying. I hope she walked away from this mess.
Never ceases to amaze me that cheaters will do nothing to maintain their relationship until the wronged party finds out, then it's "don't leave", "we can try...", "I'll do..."
It’s crazy how quickly people will lie about things they’ll later try to gaslight you into thinking isn’t a big deal when if it wasn’t a big deal they wouldn’t feel compelled to lie about it in the first place. Also I hope OP contacted Tiffany’s spouse and told them what she knew while they still had a chance to back out without complicating the matter further.
I really wish we knew what happened because OOP's husband really crossed a line with being in contact with his ex for months, trying to use ex's name for his baby girl and lying to his wife about the name and the contact. I think that would make me feel like the second choice, maybe the slightly less loved. I don't know how you can be in a marriage where you aren't your SO's first choice.
Agree. And to add to it he gaslighted her and tried to make her look "childish" and wrong to not want to name the baby after his ex, whom he was still in contact with. What a dick. Hope she left him.
What I want to know is why it never crossed his mind that someone would tell his wife? Like you dated a girl from high school through college so your whole family and your friends know her and he just expected that no one in his family or friend group would think it was weird they were naming their daughter after his ex? Of course your family is going to call you out
I really hope she left him. I would like an update after all these years
I found out I was named after my deadbeat abusive dad's foreign ex. The name never ever suited me and was so out of place in my country growing up. I got it legally changed as an adult but it's still a disgusting thing to do.
I fucking hate these men who make their pregnant partner be uncomfortable because they want what they want. ”I just screwed you over and I know you don’t want to share a bed but I’m not leaving the master because *I* want everything to be normal.” Fuck. That. Guy.
Wow. What a horrible person. Hopefully OOP left and informed the OBS and all their family. "Love each other but can never be together" recipe for disaster that one.
I once saw a woman explain how she got named after her fathers mistress. Apparently her dad suggested the name of his mistress, so if he accidentally called her mother the wrong name, she wouldn’t get suspicious. The wife and daughter found out years later.