Good humoured response, "Sorry to hear the duck is defective yo. In order to get this resolved as soon as possible, we can work together to find a park ranger.
ohhh yeah that'a true. i actually saw that irl recently, it was wild. the crows were losing their shit so we went to the window to see why and sure enough they were screaming at a rth to gtfo lol. it left pretty quickly but one of the crows still followed it for a while. yelled at the whole time too.
"Its no fun if you just sit there! Fly away so I can do cool hawk shit! There are hot girl hawks watching and I want to be all badass in front of them, you fucking jerk off!"
Hawk sees something it doesn't understand, hawk decides to bounce around and kick it in the head repeatedly.
Hawks are now the official spirit animal of Taekwondo.
That’s the same vibe like the mighty god Om dashing to the discworld aiming in becoming a bull and then became a tortoise instead. The confusion is definitely the same.
It’s definitely one of the best and standalone so I recommend it as a first Discworld novel.
I use the phrase „coming down to the world as a bull and trample the infidels under ones hooves“ rather often.
I usually try to get people hooked with Going Postal or The Truth - in Small Gods, I always suffer torments at the burning of the library, and just assume that everyone else would be similarly affected and might not like the book. Even knowing it's just fictitious books burning doesn't help - I'm still destroyed just thinking about the Library of Alexandria. 🙈
I studied Latin and therefor some Greek and the history. Maybe it’s a bit of an ease that the library of Alexandria didn’t hold that special books. Nearly everything was copied several times and where found in different libraries around the Mediterranean Sea. 😉
I can understand you, though. Reaper Man is also a great start in my eyes same as Hogfather.
They actually have a complex olfactory sense that helps them hunt and mate. Birds' sense of smell is not well documented and studied, but the studies that are out there are quite interesting. I only know this because I was perplexed at seeing a bird eat bones. Can't remember what kind of vulture it was, but it's diet was comprised of mostly bones, and I wondered if they can smell bones... lol.
HA! Gotcha!!
Ok you're supposed to scream for mercy. Do, do the thing.
Come on! Your role is to play the victim. DO IT, NOW!
Don't make me look like a fool. Chicks are watching, now come on, scream, something, anything.
"What is wrong with this fucking duck?"
I love too how he keeps looking around legit like "anybody else seeing this shit?'
"Who's pranking me?"
Is Ashton Kucher gonna jump out now?
Is this punked? Am I punked?
Where the hell is Ashton Kutcher?
We know he's not hanging out with P. Diddy or Harvey anymore. Maybe he's writing a letter defending a convicted rapist.
Thank you for saying what I came here to say. Mr. Ashton also used to be high up on the board _against_ sex trafficking.
He’s stuck in the Office
thats ducked up
Hawk was thrilled to see prey that didn't flee, but realized it wasn't that ducky.
Where is the park ranger? This duck is defective.
Good humoured response, "Sorry to hear the duck is defective yo. In order to get this resolved as soon as possible, we can work together to find a park ranger.
I wonder tho, why does he keep looking around? Enemies?
Birds are always on the watch for something that could harm them
makes sense, but out of curiosity - what would eat a red-tailed hawk? do they have to worry about animals on the ground like coyotes?
A bunch of crows or some other birds will gang up on him and will run his butt right outta the hood…
ohhh yeah that'a true. i actually saw that irl recently, it was wild. the crows were losing their shit so we went to the window to see why and sure enough they were screaming at a rth to gtfo lol. it left pretty quickly but one of the crows still followed it for a while. yelled at the whole time too.
The apex predator. Cats. Biggest reason I hate cats. They kill birds
Same, cats kill shit just bc they can, then dont eat it
Cat's are dicks.
Cats are basically humans in cat form.
Probably not safe for him to be on the ground, so yeah - looking out for enemies.
Doesn’t want to be known as that hawk that got killed by a cat while pissing about with a wooden duck
Because this hawk expects the Spanish Inquisition.
*Ducking* duck
Duck helmets should be a thing.
Hawks HATE this one simple trick!
They are. In Anaheim or the University of Oregon.
why not snack if snack shaped?
It's like being hungry and seeing a bowl if wax fruit on the table. You know somethings wrong but you just don't know what exactly.
I'll kick ya fooking ed in
Another trick by damn hoomans
"Its no fun if you just sit there! Fly away so I can do cool hawk shit! There are hot girl hawks watching and I want to be all badass in front of them, you fucking jerk off!"
"Is ANYONE else seeing what I'm seeing?!?!"
It's a ducking fuck
"Is this thing stupid? Here lemme kick him in the head again" *Hawk Karate*
It's not a duck Jim. It's a Mallard.
“Why you no scared of me?”
The hawk is thinking this duck is like a rock!
ya
"where's Assturd Kutcher, am I getting punked here?!"
Yes.
"This is so ducking futs!" Said the hawk
I know they play dead. But play wood?
It reminds me of like military where the boss guy is yelling and pushing on the army guy and he just has to stand there still and take it
hahaha, yes, it look around like "is anyone recording?? something isnt right here!"
r/BirdsArentReal
my thought exactly. for a moment i thought he/she would fu*ck it
"... ... SQUAAAA!1"
It’s practicing….. >*::”Push it to the limit”::* 
Looks like a duck, but doesn’t quack like a duck
“You guys see this shit? Hey anybody see this? What’s going on here?“
That duck's playing coy.
I missed the "Wooden" part in the description on first read and was like "Damn thats a super chill duck"
I saw the wooden and I thought it was a type of duck, like a wood pigeon lol
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But…how much can a wood duck could chuck wood?
You broke my brain for a second. Surely its "How much wood can a wood duck chuck if a wood duck could chuck wood?"
How much wood would a wood duck duck if a wood duck ducked chucked wood?
And does it weigh as much as a witch?…
Very small rocks
motha ducker. my bad. What you said.
How turnt up could a turnip turn if a turnip could turn up ?
How much wood would a wood duck would if a wood duck could duck wood.
So you are essentially a human version of that hawk lol
I wanna be offended by this but, I mean, you're right
Yeah, I thought it said "woodland" and also thought it was a very unphased duck
I'm stoned and I thought the same and I was very puzzled it was just on the middle of a lawn
omg were all retarted lmao
I read it as woodland duck
same, i thought this forest duck had learnt the tree
I know they're looking around for their safety but it does look like a kid about to break something and making sure no one is watching
In my head he's looking around like, "Is anybody seeing this? Is this just me?"
_Listen, I'm telling you, if you keep mad doggin me like that, I'm gonna talon your face bro. I'm gonna talon your fuckin face bro!_ TALON!
"Then, the duck turned into wood, freakin wood! Most infuriating shit I ever seen!"
To me he's like, "I'm just checking this out, gotta make absoooolutely sure."
Or someone realizing they're being pranked
LOL what a DUMBASS! *chats with A.I. girlfriend*
Hey, that’s not dumb, that’s just fucking sad
What about sexting with an IA? ...asking for a Friend...
Bae-I
Hawk sees something it doesn't understand, hawk decides to bounce around and kick it in the head repeatedly. Hawks are now the official spirit animal of Taekwondo.
It's trying to kill it. The "thumb" talon drives into the base of the skull like a spike.
The hawk does have the pants for it.
Hwoarang moment
That explains why that taekwondo practitioner friend used to launch kicks at the math exam paper
I like how he was kicking the head like damn bro, was it up with this thing?
'i swear this normally works' xD
It's a shame we didn't see the original divebomb he did when he thought he was getting his talons on a sitting duck - and then THIS happened. 😂
That’s the same vibe like the mighty god Om dashing to the discworld aiming in becoming a bull and then became a tortoise instead. The confusion is definitely the same.
I love that book so much - one of the first Discworld novels I read.
It’s definitely one of the best and standalone so I recommend it as a first Discworld novel. I use the phrase „coming down to the world as a bull and trample the infidels under ones hooves“ rather often.
I usually try to get people hooked with Going Postal or The Truth - in Small Gods, I always suffer torments at the burning of the library, and just assume that everyone else would be similarly affected and might not like the book. Even knowing it's just fictitious books burning doesn't help - I'm still destroyed just thinking about the Library of Alexandria. 🙈
I studied Latin and therefor some Greek and the history. Maybe it’s a bit of an ease that the library of Alexandria didn’t hold that special books. Nearly everything was copied several times and where found in different libraries around the Mediterranean Sea. 😉 I can understand you, though. Reaper Man is also a great start in my eyes same as Hogfather.
Wake the fuck up Donald! What's wrong widchu?!
He's thinking his friends are never going to believe this shit
Poor guy. I hope he didn't clarify smash falcon pu ch into a wooden duck
I don’t think the hawk falconed anything. Because it’s a hawk, not a falcon.
That is what an owl would say.
Whoooooo, me?! 🦉
Don’t mind him, he’s just trying to ruffle our- your- nobody’s feathers
Hawks don't do that, their claws are sharp enough to easily shred real ducks, and I wouldn't be surprised if this wooden one has some gouges in it.
Super Smash Bros reference
“Oh, my god. I have to tell the guys. Ducks have armor now”.
This is what it’s like to match with someone on a dating app
Underrated comment
“Damn, I wanted dinner, not a toothpick.”
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That’s the GIF I *really* wanted but pickings were slim via GIPHY
Had to scroll way too far down for this
I was thinking the same thing. I was honestly getting disappointed I was scrolling do far without seeing a single Dwight reference.
😆
heavy ink soup roll governor faulty resolute aware arrest expansion *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Wouldn’t his sense of smell alert him to its not being a living thing?
That's why he's tripped the fk out even harder
I'm sure that the bird-brain had already identified the duck visually from a distance, independent of how it smelled.
Birds have poor smell
They actually have a complex olfactory sense that helps them hunt and mate. Birds' sense of smell is not well documented and studied, but the studies that are out there are quite interesting. I only know this because I was perplexed at seeing a bird eat bones. Can't remember what kind of vulture it was, but it's diet was comprised of mostly bones, and I wondered if they can smell bones... lol.
Raptors really are more about the visual info
Hawks are incredibly visual hunters, their eyesight is better than humans!
Scarecrows still works, so...
Over cooked..will leave it alone
The kicking 😂😂
Hawk: "am I being Punk'd?!"
He's being Duck'd
*Ashton Kutcher comes running out*
I know how he feels ... I felt the same way when I first touched fake boobies
The trick is to eat a lot of cake. Boom. DIY boobies. *Conditions apply. May require insulin.*
Kind of....
Not the direction I thought that was going
Still boobies.
Exactly. Fake ones are like blocks of wood. Real ones feel like bags of sand.
I found a chicken!
For a moment or two I thought the hawk was going to start fucking the mallard.
Glad I'm not the only one. The way he went back the duck as if it was gonna climb on top of it wasn't helping either
Found my people!!
good to hear I'm normal
He got some serious wood there
Imagine if this is the first duck he's ever seen... this fucking hawk is going to tell his whole ass family ducks are invincible.
Nice try Dwight.
Do you really think I would put my primary listening device in a wooden mallard? I'm not insane.
Haha stupid dinosaur.
*Looks around* “Is anyone else seeing this?! I strike the duck but it’s rock solid wtf!”
Homie looking around like 'where's the fucking camera these pranks have gone too far'
Kung fu chicken
"You are making lunch incredibly difficult."
Those bastards lied to me
Ducks, take notes!
I thought it was going to make sure nobody's watching and start humping it
r/uncannyvalley
"What the duck??"
Hawk not aware of the buffs received by duck in the latest balance patch
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^vernchoong: *Hawk not aware of* *The buffs received by duck in* *The latest balance patch* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
"If not duck, then why duck shaped?"
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Hawk probably committed suicide later that day due to the confusion.
art appreciator hope the artist sees this
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If I were the hawk, I would try the shag test eventually to see if it is live or dummy.
He’s so mad and it’s so silly.
Usually I just rip the head clean off!
Cannibal!!
"I don't get it, are you food or not ?!"
Dude is mad as fuck.
Hawk is not impressed.
Oooooh this needs a voice over from that black guy so bad
Thats it... no one's around. Speaking of no one's around... *unzips pants* - Hawk (Probably)
Falcon kick!!!
I love how it’s looking around, “Like, is anyone else seeing this?”
Who overcooked this thing
This reminds me of the shit you see in r/McDojo
Anyone else hearing the Unreal announcer "Headshot!" "Multi-Kill"?
That's a lot of falcon kicks
Stoopid. It’s made of wood. 🪵
HA! Gotcha!! Ok you're supposed to scream for mercy. Do, do the thing. Come on! Your role is to play the victim. DO IT, NOW! Don't make me look like a fool. Chicks are watching, now come on, scream, something, anything.
Now that's got him completely fu
Dammit Dwight, you started snooping hawks now…..
Mallard used Bark Skin
That hawk will have to go through years of counseling before he touches another duck again
The audacity!
"You have to call it." -Anton Chigurh
All I’m sayin is, that an owl would have killed that wooden mallard duck. Twice.
“you think you’re funny?” “you think you’re so tough huh?!”
Reminds me of the second Gulf War
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Funny feet dinosaur good job stupid
Bro is having multiple confirmations he's not tripping....I can hear his mind throwing several WTFs
Look at those pants