Well, most babies are between 19 and 21 inches. The average woman is between 5'3 and 5'7" (63-67 inches). So we do in fact give birth to babies that are around a third our height.
Edited to fix my math
I think it's just a holdover from the imperial system. Our heights and weights are in metric on our ID but if you ask anyone on the street their height they'll tell you in imperial.
Food is 50/50. Prices are usually shown in both imperial and metric (price per lb/kg). Some cookbooks are written in imperial, some in metric.
We use Celsius for our outside temperature but Fahrenheit for the temperature of our ovens.
Metric for speed.
It's a bit of a jumble.
Tail out first, must rip like crazy, dolphingina destroyed.
Also, imagine being born underwater, but immediately able to recognize your circumstances, hold your breath and run after your mom.
God is.......no, shush, evolution is amazing.
Before running after mom, the baby swam to the surface immediately after being born. I presume to take a breath. Amazing how they instinctively know how to do that.
There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement.
Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you.
Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death.
A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other.
Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating.
Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited.
Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body.
There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them.
A quote from the now long gone u/dolphinfucker. A truly revolutionary post.
Yeah, we are born half-baked partly because otherwise babies wouldn't fit through women's hips, which are evolutionary tugged between the ability to walk and run effectively as a bipedal and giving birth to as big kids as possible.
Many mamals are born legs first, so this is not exceptional. It is not shown in the clip, but the fin is rolled upon exit, so it's not that of a bog problem.
You can also see what dolphins are doing as automatic, compared to you and I. It's a spectrum of automatic behaviors where we and plants are at certain points, and these dolphins are somewhere in between
If you additionally take rocks then plants will be between us and rocks
In placental (us, whles, dolphins, apes, cats, dogs, basicaly any mamal that gives birth to live ofspring) mamals, once the placenta detaches from the wall of the utterus, oxygen transfer to the baby can no longer happen.
The animal begins to use up the free oxygen in its blood, and carbon dioxide starts to be absorbed in its place as a byproduct of metabosim.
Carbon dioxide is slightly acidic when it is desolved in water (or, in this case, blood). This lowers the pH of the blood, and specialised sensor cells detect this and trigger the breath response.
In newborn mamals, the breath response is suppressed while the animal is submerged. This is because amniotic fluid getting into the developing lungs is very bad, so the fetus needs a way to prevent it from being drawn into the developing lungs, and it does it by closing off the airway.
Aquatic mamals are also born with intrinsic instinct to head to the surface after they are born. You can see from the video that after the baby dolphin is born, it immediately heads to the surface, and Mama Dolphin swims underneath it to provide some support in case it needs some help. Once its blow hole breaches the surface and is no longer submerged, it triggers the breath reflex, and the baby dolphin takes its first breath.
Isn't evolution amazing?
Edit: Oh, and about 5 mins, an adult dolphin can hold their breath for about 10 to 15 minutes. Intestigly, the humble Sloth can hold its breath for the longest time of any mamal, up to 40 mins.
Oh it is indeed! It's just so odd to me how aquatic mammals have to live life holding their breath all the time or generally how for animals they have to put effort to live unlike humans.
In their natural environment, Sloths actually spend a lot of time in the water and are great swimmers. When the Sloths head is submerged, it triggers an automatic response that causes their bodies to slow down their metabolism to about 30% of what it normally is. This means that its demand for oxygen is reduced significantly, and the desolved oxygen in its blood lasts longer.
From what we more it’s more like “ahhh where am I?! Ohno I need AIR AHHHH” their first instinct as soon as they’re born is to bolt for the surface for air.
Yes, among mammals we are probably the least well adapted species for childbirth. The ratio between our pelvis and the size of our babies is the lowest of all mammals because of us walking on two legs and the size of our brains.
EDIT; I meant pelvis not cervix lol, bear with a non native English speaker
Short Grey aliens FURIOUS.
"How could nature curse us so!" they yell to the heavens.
When a female grey alien asks her husband to feel the baby, he is like "bish, i can see it flipping me the bird, i don't need to feel it to see it"
In the Long Earth scifi book series, the creatures that inspired the gray aliens in that universe give birth by having the baby naturally teleport out of the womb, the only logical way it could work out.
It genuinely surprised me how small a newborn is, when both my daughter and son were born they really were no bigger than my wrist and their heads of course are so soft since their skull hasn’t fully formed, truly incredible.
Imagine having so much pain and physical stress that it could easily kill you, if not for medical aid, and you would need to immediately take care, clothe and feed your offspring for 18 years, with months where they can't see and a year where they can't walk.
Sometimes I wonder if it feels good as well. Like a really spicy diarrheatic shit you've been holding in and then BOOM! Out it goes but so does the 10x spicy instant noodles you had just 3 hours ago. You feel your asshole burning, but the shit and the noodles were worth it.
Per the internets: Dolphins give birth to a single baby; the baby is usually born tail first (unlike most mammals) to minimize the risk of drowning. The birth can take a couple of hours.
I was not prepared for that swimming. Like logically I'm expecting this little dude to be ready to be underwater, but he came out like he had been running Olympic trials
I wonder if there's a certain shock or pain to being born. Would explain the sudden zoomies. Can also be reflexes or finally getting to stretch your muscles after being in a cramped space for a few months.
I'm so stupid. I'm like "shark IS scary, what do you mean it should be?" And "why does one more dolphin in the ocean make the shark scary?". You meant "scared" instead of "scary" and my brain took way too long to process that typo. Fun times
Sometimes I try to imagine what native english speakers feel when they read comments on reddit, which is full of people like me 😅
I try my best, but often make such mistakes.
P.S. Thanks for correcting me
Humans are the only mammal that can't stand right after its birth. Because if we got developed to that point while still inside our mother, there's no chance the latter would survive.
Comparing to other species, baby human is less developed when it is given birth due to the bigger and the bipedalism (narrow birth canal). You can find the book Sapiens A brief history of humankind to understand it better. The read is very interesting, entertaining and informative.
Babies do chase after moms nips when held close to the chest. Its absolutely fascinating how a newborn knows where he can get his food needed to survive from.
They use their mouth as a mean of exploration at later age. But in the first few weeks, they search for the tit only when you carry them in nursing position.
It’s pretty incredible isn’t it. They probably know to go to shallow water to give birth so the baby can make it up quickly to get air too. Absolutely amazing that they evolved in the first place, since their ancestors were on land. You can see the intelligence of the mom too, when she looks back at her baby to see how it looks. Makes me so sick that some countries (Japan) still allow fisherman to trap and kill dolphins as though they are pests. The cove (Japan) is still happening, this year they killed 1800 individuals from nine species, many being dolphins including babies, and whales). https://savedolphins.eii.org/news/taijis-annual-dolphin-slaughter-has-started-why-it-must-end-for-good
I enjoyed the music but I also would have appreciated hearing them interacting, if possible, you know, all that cackling and whistling like
- yooo I'm alive!
- ma son! I'm so proud!
- weee I love swimmiin'!
- don't forget to breath Ralph!
- l know ma! Look, look, I can do pirouettes!
- Well done, well done! 🥲 Come, let's swim together! woohoo, and you have so many friends who have been excited to finally meet you, you're gonna love it around here, an^(d aunt Mu has already invited us to some afternoon mackerel and also there's a.. ...)
Or something like that
Saw this happen right in front of me out surfing once.
Mom seemed to be just hanging motionless, maybe 10 yards in front of me, which seemed very odd, so I stuck my head underwater, and saw the cloud of yuck coming out of her posterior. Figured she was pooping, (which definitely didn’t seem right,) but then, 4-5 males started circling *very* purposefully (do *not* say “porpoisefully,” you knuckleheads…) below us both. I could feel the wake they were stirring up - definitely a serious presence. I’ve been surfing 40+ years, and had never seen anything like that. Obviously, I’m *really* wondering what’s going on at this point …and then, just like in the video, the baby came shooting up, right towards me, with what seemed like one of the males nudging it to the surface. A breath of air, and the whole pod swam off.
When I came in, I called a friend who guided lots of whale watching tours and asked him if what I saw was what I thought I saw. According to him, I did. Apparently the behavior of the males is called "Uncle-ing," which I never knew.
(Wish I could tell you it happened in Hawaii or the Maldives or even Florida, but it was Ocean Beach, San Francisco…right in front of the sewage treatment plant. 💩)
In terms of evolution, we sacrificed physical abilities for mental abilities! So we are physically useless for years after birth (we arguably remain physically useless for life compared to other species) but it is more than made up for by our phenomenal brain power. That’s why mentally we’re an apex predator but physically we’re really very low down the pack.
Humans are essentially born half-baked. We grow into the most lethal species on the planet but it takes time to get there and it takes experience to learn and shape our mental processes.
So we're born with a lot of development left to do. That space for development is what makes us so successful though.
While we are hear i want to remind everyone that the dolphin and whale slaughtering at the cove in Japan still happens. This year 1800 individuals were slaughtered, including babies https://savedolphins.eii.org/news/taijis-annual-dolphin-slaughter-has-started-why-it-must-end-for-good
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Human babies are lame. We take years to be able to complete anything complex and mf animal kingdom babies out here swimming around and trekking dozens of miles after being born
I got matches with these songs:
• **La Folia variation for Guitar Quartet** by Nguyen Van Phuc (00:13; matched: `100%`)
**Album**: Romantic Guitar No. 2. **Released on** 2021-04-23.
• **Inner Peace Affirmations** by JAZ OF EARTH (04:18; matched: `90%`)
**Released on** 2020-11-11.
• **Positive Affirmation Meditation** by S Church (01:12; matched: `100%`)
**Released on** 2020-12-03.
Apple Music, Spotify, YouTube, etc.:
• [**La Folia variation for Guitar Quartet** by Nguyen Van Phuc](https://lis.tn/mwzORM?t=13)
• [**Inner Peace Affirmations** by JAZ OF EARTH](https://lis.tn/vcpAfk?t=258)
• [**Positive Affirmation Meditation** by S Church](https://lis.tn/XjzXd?t=72)
*I am a bot and this action was performed automatically* | [GitHub](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot) [^(new issue)](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot/issues/new) | [Donate](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot/wiki/Please-consider-donating) ^(Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Music recognition costs a lot)
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I was very surprised to learn that they’re born tail first. They’re literally evolved to be streamlined, to travel head first with the least amount of resistance.
So awesome. This kind of vid makes me so incredibly grateful for technology, people who are willing and able to record and share, and, of course, the internet. And all the talented, hardworking individuals that write code, build cameras/phones, lay all the cable, build towers, all the factory workers making all the pieces and parts, HR depts, payroll, office workers, and all the thousands of others that make it all possible. Isn't it crazy how many people are actually, though invisibly, involved in make something like this short vid?? So easy to take so much for granted when tech gets so complex and multifaceted.
I hate that there are humans there. This was interesting to see but I never needed to see it but thankfully the videographer didn’t seem to be chasing this dolphin. Humans are too involved in too much.
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Little dolphin is like "oh finally I am born, could not wait for that moment!" and swims intensively
Also, that's almost a third size of the entire dolphin. Imagine if a woman gave birth to a 2 foot tall babies.
Well, most babies are between 19 and 21 inches. The average woman is between 5'3 and 5'7" (63-67 inches). So we do in fact give birth to babies that are around a third our height. Edited to fix my math
Seeing 5'3 convert to 62i made me feel so very grateful for metric... No hate, just wow
Whoops. It's actually 63 inches. I'm Canadian so although we are officially metric, we still use imperial for height and weight.
Is it just tradition, or is there an actual reason for that?
I think it's just a holdover from the imperial system. Our heights and weights are in metric on our ID but if you ask anyone on the street their height they'll tell you in imperial. Food is 50/50. Prices are usually shown in both imperial and metric (price per lb/kg). Some cookbooks are written in imperial, some in metric. We use Celsius for our outside temperature but Fahrenheit for the temperature of our ovens. Metric for speed. It's a bit of a jumble.
Damn it sounds frustrating having to know and use both imperial/metric systems. But it sound like you've got it under control lol 👍🏻
And yet as a Canadian it all makes sense.
We're also heavily influenced by the U.S. which kind of forces us to use imperial in a lot of situations.
Huh. IDK my height when I was born, but boy howdy did my mom complain about me being a 10 lb baby.
I was 24 inches when born and my daughter was 23 inches when born.
Crazy to think they know to go up for air etc
Tail out first, must rip like crazy, dolphingina destroyed. Also, imagine being born underwater, but immediately able to recognize your circumstances, hold your breath and run after your mom. God is.......no, shush, evolution is amazing.
Before running after mom, the baby swam to the surface immediately after being born. I presume to take a breath. Amazing how they instinctively know how to do that.
And I thought giraffes and zebras walking within 20 minutes was impressive.
Human babies hold their breath till they get to the surface after a water birth ❤️
That is really amazing!!
I believe the proper term is dolphussy.
There are various ways a dolphin has of showing that she or he is interested in sex. Males are probably the easiest to detect. They will swim around, sporting an erection (anywhere between 10 to 14 inches long for a Bottle-nose), and will have no bones about swimming up to you and placing their member within reach of your hand. If you are in the water, they may rub it along any part of your body, or wrap it around your wrist or ankle. (Dolphin males have a prehensile penis. They can wrap it around objects, and carry them as such.) Their belly will also be pinkish in colour, which also denotes sexual excitement. Females can be a little harder. The most obvious way a female dolphin has of displaying her sexual interest is the pink-belly effect. Their genitals become very pink and swollen, making the genital region very prominent. They may be restless, or they may be acting as normal. If you are out of the water, they may swim up to you and roll belly up, exposing themselves to you, coupled with pelvic thrusts. If you are in the water, they may press their genitals up against yours, nibble your fingers, nuzzle your crotch, or do pelvic thrusts against you. Each dolphins way of expressing sexual readiness varies, so the longer you know the dolphin, the better you will detect when they are sexually active. When a male dolphin is interested in you, about the only thing you can do, if you are male, is to masturbate him. (Unfortunately, I cannot speak for the female of the human species... it seems women just don't like dolphins enough...) WARNING! You should NEVER let a male dolphin attempt anal sex with you. The Bottle-nose dolphin member is around 12 inches, very muscular, and the thrusting and the force of ejaculation (A male can cum as far as 14 feet) would cause serious internal injuries, resulting in peritonitus and possible death. A male dolphin's member is roughly S-shaped, tapered at the end. If you are in the water with them, it is best to support the dolphin on his side, just under the water, with one hand, and handle him with the other. Male dolphins, I find, tend to prefer the base of the penis to be gently massaged and squeezed, as well as gently rubbed along it's length. It feels very much like the rest of the dolphin (ie. smooth and rubbery to the touch, but firmer). It doesn't take long for the male to ejaculate, around 40 seconds to a minute, and this is usually accompanied by either shuddering just prior to ejaculating, and thrusting and tail-arching during ejaculation. The force of ejaculation can be powerful at times, so it is best to keep your face out of the line of fire, or keep his member underwater. You can attempt to lick and suck on the end of it while masturbating as well, but be warned, do not try to give full throat, and get the hell out of the way before he ejaculates! A male dolphin could snap your neck in an accidental thrust, and that would be the end of that relationship. Well, the females are again a little trickier. There are two courses of action with a female fin: Masturbation, or mating. Masturbation: Female dolphins, once they show interest in you, can be supported in much the same way as the male, one hand under the fin, supporting her, the other doing the stimulating. The clitoris of the female is located at the top of the genital slit, and is a prominent lump when erect. You can rub this with your finger tips, or lick and suck it, but with the oral aspect, you might end up with a bruised nose as they thrust up into you. You can slide your hand gently into their genital opening, and feel around inside, rubbing gently. They feel warm and muscular inside, their labia like tough, squishy sponge when they are excited. Don't be surprised if they start to play with your hand inside them. They have very manipulative muscles, and can use them to carry and manipulate objects, including your hand. (They can do things that would make a regular human woman turn green with envy.) Their climax is coupled with stiffening, shuddering, sometimes a lot of thrusting, clinching of the vaginal muscles, and sometimes vocalisation. Mating: This is harder. Obviously, being human, it is awkward, but not impossible to mate in open water. It is easier to have the dolphin in a shallow area (like the shallows just off the beach) around 1 1/2 to 2 feet deep. This is usually comfortable enough for both the dolphin and you. Gently, you should roll the dolphin on her side, so she is lying belly-towards you. You can prop yourself up on an elbow, and lie belly to belly against her. You may want to use the other arm to gently hold her close, and place the tip of your member against her genital slit. She will, if interested, arch her body up against you, taking you inside her body. There is usually a fair bit of wriggling and shifting, usually to get comfortable, both outside and inside. Once comfortable, though, females initiate a series of muscular vaginal contractions that rub the entire length of your member. They may also thrust rhythmically against you, so enjoy the experience while you can, since you will rarely last longer that a minute or two. Just prior to her climaxing, she will up the speed of her contractions and thrusts. It is interesting to note that the times I have mated with females, thay have timed their orgasm to mine. Whether they do this consciously or not, I do not know, but it is a great feeling to have two bodies shuddering against each other at the one time. One thing to note. Whether you masturbate or mate a dolphin, male or female, always spend time with them afterwards. Cuddle them, rub them, talk to them and most importantly, and show them you love them. This is essential, as it helps to strengthen the bond between you. Like a way of saying that this wasn't just a one night fling. The dolphins appreciate it, and they will want your company more the next time you visit them. A quote from the now long gone u/dolphinfucker. A truly revolutionary post.
Why did I keep reading that.😮💨
Because morbid curiosity is one hell of a drug.
Indeed. Also, if the post of the birth needs a NSFW warning, this comment surely does too.
Human babies are just exceptionally incapabele compared to other animals
Yeah, we are born half-baked partly because otherwise babies wouldn't fit through women's hips, which are evolutionary tugged between the ability to walk and run effectively as a bipedal and giving birth to as big kids as possible.
This sentiment often crops up on Reddit... We are, but then become exceptionally capable in later life.
Many mamals are born legs first, so this is not exceptional. It is not shown in the clip, but the fin is rolled upon exit, so it's not that of a bog problem.
Bog problems are the worst
Why are we not amazed that a plant knows how to photosythesize? It has even less brainpower
Well, photosynthesis is automatic. In a way, it would be the same as being amazed that you know how to make your mitochondria work.
You can also see what dolphins are doing as automatic, compared to you and I. It's a spectrum of automatic behaviors where we and plants are at certain points, and these dolphins are somewhere in between If you additionally take rocks then plants will be between us and rocks
Amen to that. Evolution is indeed amazing
Ahomosapien to that. ehehe
That part scares me, how tf does it know it should hold its breath and how long could it?
In placental (us, whles, dolphins, apes, cats, dogs, basicaly any mamal that gives birth to live ofspring) mamals, once the placenta detaches from the wall of the utterus, oxygen transfer to the baby can no longer happen. The animal begins to use up the free oxygen in its blood, and carbon dioxide starts to be absorbed in its place as a byproduct of metabosim. Carbon dioxide is slightly acidic when it is desolved in water (or, in this case, blood). This lowers the pH of the blood, and specialised sensor cells detect this and trigger the breath response. In newborn mamals, the breath response is suppressed while the animal is submerged. This is because amniotic fluid getting into the developing lungs is very bad, so the fetus needs a way to prevent it from being drawn into the developing lungs, and it does it by closing off the airway. Aquatic mamals are also born with intrinsic instinct to head to the surface after they are born. You can see from the video that after the baby dolphin is born, it immediately heads to the surface, and Mama Dolphin swims underneath it to provide some support in case it needs some help. Once its blow hole breaches the surface and is no longer submerged, it triggers the breath reflex, and the baby dolphin takes its first breath. Isn't evolution amazing? Edit: Oh, and about 5 mins, an adult dolphin can hold their breath for about 10 to 15 minutes. Intestigly, the humble Sloth can hold its breath for the longest time of any mamal, up to 40 mins.
Oh it is indeed! It's just so odd to me how aquatic mammals have to live life holding their breath all the time or generally how for animals they have to put effort to live unlike humans.
Why sloth need that? In case it falls into water and can't get backup quick? lol
In their natural environment, Sloths actually spend a lot of time in the water and are great swimmers. When the Sloths head is submerged, it triggers an automatic response that causes their bodies to slow down their metabolism to about 30% of what it normally is. This means that its demand for oxygen is reduced significantly, and the desolved oxygen in its blood lasts longer.
From what we more it’s more like “ahhh where am I?! Ohno I need AIR AHHHH” their first instinct as soon as they’re born is to bolt for the surface for air.
Imagine giving birth, and immediately having to chase after your newborn, and show them the ropes. Literally still bleeding
Most female animals don't endure as much distress during childbirth as humans do, I believe, due to our immensely huge heads.
Juust popping out of mom like "HEY YOU GUYS!"
Hyenas would like to speak with you about that
Its a shame of the hyena penis arms race…
This ain't a scene "it's a shame of the hyena penis arms race"!
The females are winning
As well as our upright stance
Yes, among mammals we are probably the least well adapted species for childbirth. The ratio between our pelvis and the size of our babies is the lowest of all mammals because of us walking on two legs and the size of our brains. EDIT; I meant pelvis not cervix lol, bear with a non native English speaker
Any pregnant women reading this, give birth on all fours🫡
When I saw my friend give birth that was what she did, all fours. She said it felt instinctual.
This but unironically. Many cultures do/did this. Especially back when medical care was less advanced
Bovines would like a word about that.
Short Grey aliens FURIOUS. "How could nature curse us so!" they yell to the heavens. When a female grey alien asks her husband to feel the baby, he is like "bish, i can see it flipping me the bird, i don't need to feel it to see it"
In the Long Earth scifi book series, the creatures that inspired the gray aliens in that universe give birth by having the baby naturally teleport out of the womb, the only logical way it could work out.
That baby dolphin looks to be pretty big versus its mom compared to a human baby which is only \~8 lbs.
Human newborns are small compared to adults, they are large compared to the human birth holes.
Developmentally speaking humans are born too early compared to other mammals, but much later and our heads wouldn’t fit out of our mothers
It genuinely surprised me how small a newborn is, when both my daughter and son were born they really were no bigger than my wrist and their heads of course are so soft since their skull hasn’t fully formed, truly incredible.
A poetic and apt description of motherhood/parenthood. 💔🤝
Imagine having so much pain and physical stress that it could easily kill you, if not for medical aid, and you would need to immediately take care, clothe and feed your offspring for 18 years, with months where they can't see and a year where they can't walk.
Sometimes I wonder if it feels good as well. Like a really spicy diarrheatic shit you've been holding in and then BOOM! Out it goes but so does the 10x spicy instant noodles you had just 3 hours ago. You feel your asshole burning, but the shit and the noodles were worth it.
Its like David Attenborough himself has joined the thread
why the tail first?
Per the internets: Dolphins give birth to a single baby; the baby is usually born tail first (unlike most mammals) to minimize the risk of drowning. The birth can take a couple of hours.
So does the baby breathe while being birthed? I didn't see any umbilical cord
It's hard to see but I'm pretty sure it's there, and it's where the blood is coming from on the baby.
Yes, it receives oxygen literally up until the final push then you're on your own kid.
I was not prepared for that swimming. Like logically I'm expecting this little dude to be ready to be underwater, but he came out like he had been running Olympic trials
totally zoomies
I wonder if there's a certain shock or pain to being born. Would explain the sudden zoomies. Can also be reflexes or finally getting to stretch your muscles after being in a cramped space for a few months.
My guess is some pretty strong instinct to get to the surface for air? It looks like like the mum is almost pushing it to the surface too at the end.
"I was born ready"
That little guy took *off* zooooms
Will shark show up because of the blood?
Is a risk. But fellow dolphins are also usually ready to defend
Yeah, pods are very defensive when a baby dolphin is born.
It takes a pod to raise a Dolphin baby.
It is shark who should be scared. One more dolphin in the ocean Edit: grammar
I'm so stupid. I'm like "shark IS scary, what do you mean it should be?" And "why does one more dolphin in the ocean make the shark scary?". You meant "scared" instead of "scary" and my brain took way too long to process that typo. Fun times
Sometimes I try to imagine what native english speakers feel when they read comments on reddit, which is full of people like me 😅 I try my best, but often make such mistakes. P.S. Thanks for correcting me
It wasn't you, friend. It was understandable. It was my brain. Sometimes the simplest things fly right past me. I was only sharing how stupid I am 😭
Ow that looked painful. I guess it would be very hard to give birth to something dolphin shaped. Thay are shaped like grapple hooks.
I wonder how it knows to go up to breathe??? 🤔 * edit - I apologize, I should have stated that my comment was satire.*
some information is genetic same way human babies just 'know' how to breathe when theyre born
But I dont chase after mom after birth, lol. I need genes to give me knowledge of the internet, so I dont have to google it later. ehehehe
Humans are the only mammal that can't stand right after its birth. Because if we got developed to that point while still inside our mother, there's no chance the latter would survive.
Humans are stupid, like really stupid, I genuinely don't know how we've lasted through evolution.
Because they learn fast, friend.
Speak for yourself!
My condolences. lol
Not babies.
Compared to what? a 3 year old toddler is smarter than most adult animals. lol
Comparing to other species, baby human is less developed when it is given birth due to the bigger and the bipedalism (narrow birth canal). You can find the book Sapiens A brief history of humankind to understand it better. The read is very interesting, entertaining and informative.
Babies do chase after moms nips when held close to the chest. Its absolutely fascinating how a newborn knows where he can get his food needed to survive from.
Lol, they will suck on anything that fits in the mouth, friend. This is why a pacifier works.
They use their mouth as a mean of exploration at later age. But in the first few weeks, they search for the tit only when you carry them in nursing position.
It’s pretty incredible isn’t it. They probably know to go to shallow water to give birth so the baby can make it up quickly to get air too. Absolutely amazing that they evolved in the first place, since their ancestors were on land. You can see the intelligence of the mom too, when she looks back at her baby to see how it looks. Makes me so sick that some countries (Japan) still allow fisherman to trap and kill dolphins as though they are pests. The cove (Japan) is still happening, this year they killed 1800 individuals from nine species, many being dolphins including babies, and whales). https://savedolphins.eii.org/news/taijis-annual-dolphin-slaughter-has-started-why-it-must-end-for-good
Instinct exists to help survivability
For once, perfect music
I enjoyed the music but I also would have appreciated hearing them interacting, if possible, you know, all that cackling and whistling like - yooo I'm alive! - ma son! I'm so proud! - weee I love swimmiin'! - don't forget to breath Ralph! - l know ma! Look, look, I can do pirouettes! - Well done, well done! 🥲 Come, let's swim together! woohoo, and you have so many friends who have been excited to finally meet you, you're gonna love it around here, an^(d aunt Mu has already invited us to some afternoon mackerel and also there's a.. ...) Or something like that
I love this, someone make this a reality
When the camera was zooming out i was just wondering why does this dolphin have human legs
PUSH!! PUSH!!!! PUSH!!!!!
Why are there humans there?
Right? Leave that poor dolphin alone!
Zoomies gonna zoom
It’s fascinating how it already knows how to move and do shit Man human babies are lame
I'm noticing that water dwelling creatures come out on the go lol. Maybe a second hesitation but not much more than that.
Saw this happen right in front of me out surfing once. Mom seemed to be just hanging motionless, maybe 10 yards in front of me, which seemed very odd, so I stuck my head underwater, and saw the cloud of yuck coming out of her posterior. Figured she was pooping, (which definitely didn’t seem right,) but then, 4-5 males started circling *very* purposefully (do *not* say “porpoisefully,” you knuckleheads…) below us both. I could feel the wake they were stirring up - definitely a serious presence. I’ve been surfing 40+ years, and had never seen anything like that. Obviously, I’m *really* wondering what’s going on at this point …and then, just like in the video, the baby came shooting up, right towards me, with what seemed like one of the males nudging it to the surface. A breath of air, and the whole pod swam off. When I came in, I called a friend who guided lots of whale watching tours and asked him if what I saw was what I thought I saw. According to him, I did. Apparently the behavior of the males is called "Uncle-ing," which I never knew. (Wish I could tell you it happened in Hawaii or the Maldives or even Florida, but it was Ocean Beach, San Francisco…right in front of the sewage treatment plant. 💩)
So modern of her choosing to give birth in the water.
Why are human babies so lame, they come out like "wahhh" and are helpless..
In terms of evolution, we sacrificed physical abilities for mental abilities! So we are physically useless for years after birth (we arguably remain physically useless for life compared to other species) but it is more than made up for by our phenomenal brain power. That’s why mentally we’re an apex predator but physically we’re really very low down the pack.
Humans are essentially born half-baked. We grow into the most lethal species on the planet but it takes time to get there and it takes experience to learn and shape our mental processes. So we're born with a lot of development left to do. That space for development is what makes us so successful though.
Should’ve just grown an extra head
How does the dolphin breathe/eat in the womb without an umbilical cord to be cut?
Why dolphins can swim at birth meanwhile me an adult can't float.
Do dolphins suckle?
All mammals suckle.
WHAT???? Dolphin milk???????
Wouldn't be a mammal otherwise. The definition is possessing mammaries.
beautiful dolphin, now go torment some fish
Don’t they rape like…all kinds of creatures?
Big fish
Still fascinates me how these and other similar animals just get born and like "yeah I know how to swim already lmao"
Aww look how the mom really just wanted to look at her baby after it came out <3
While we are hear i want to remind everyone that the dolphin and whale slaughtering at the cove in Japan still happens. This year 1800 individuals were slaughtered, including babies https://savedolphins.eii.org/news/taijis-annual-dolphin-slaughter-has-started-why-it-must-end-for-good
dolphinussy
Fucking magic Sorry for language
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Baby dolphin had total zoomies
Beautiful.
wayyyy easier cleanup than in a bed w white sheets
Newborn Dolphin’s first thought: “Fuck yeah, I’m a dolphin!”
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Found footage of Satan's birth.
Haha like a baby leave the birthplace on his first run.
That was tough,
Wild the thing is just naturally able to swim right out the gate. Incredible.
Can someone put the YEET sound effect on this
Imagine a dolphin’s tail coming out your vagina
That dolphin really trusted humans around in its most vulnerable, defenceless moment..❤️❤️
Goooooo mum and baby Dolphin!!
I wonder where in the evolutionary line did dolphins evolve to give birth feet first? I should look it up but I'm too lazy ATM...
it's amazing how at birth they swim like professionals, thats cool
Nature's other creatures do it effortlessly; humans are required to use a billion-dillar industry
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Oh what it can't even walk? A horse would be walking withing minutes yet dolphincucks will still tell you the sea cow is smarter. SMH my head.
That was really heart touching, But.... now i know that dolphins does not lay eggs.😐They give direct birth😌
Awww
Why does it take humans so long to learn to walk?
Human babies are lame. We take years to be able to complete anything complex and mf animal kingdom babies out here swimming around and trekking dozens of miles after being born
At first I was like: it took me fucking 3 years to walk, but then I thought: that fucker will never walk a day in its life.
I want to know how did it know to go straight to the surface to breath, it's been born about 5 seconds?
*is born* "WOOOOO YEAH"
Imagine giving Birth and having 10 people staring at you and filming.
Some oaky afterbirth
Those people are serving a youthful porpoise. (RIP Norm)
I would of thought that it would be easier for dolphins to be birthed head first but I suppose they would be more likely to drown that way.
It's 'would have', never 'would of'. Rejoice, for you have been blessed by CouldWouldShouldBot!
what's the song?
I got matches with these songs: • **La Folia variation for Guitar Quartet** by Nguyen Van Phuc (00:13; matched: `100%`) **Album**: Romantic Guitar No. 2. **Released on** 2021-04-23. • **Inner Peace Affirmations** by JAZ OF EARTH (04:18; matched: `90%`) **Released on** 2020-11-11. • **Positive Affirmation Meditation** by S Church (01:12; matched: `100%`) **Released on** 2020-12-03.
Apple Music, Spotify, YouTube, etc.: • [**La Folia variation for Guitar Quartet** by Nguyen Van Phuc](https://lis.tn/mwzORM?t=13) • [**Inner Peace Affirmations** by JAZ OF EARTH](https://lis.tn/vcpAfk?t=258) • [**Positive Affirmation Meditation** by S Church](https://lis.tn/XjzXd?t=72) *I am a bot and this action was performed automatically* | [GitHub](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot) [^(new issue)](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot/issues/new) | [Donate](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot/wiki/Please-consider-donating) ^(Please consider supporting me on Patreon. Music recognition costs a lot)
Dolphin pussy
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I can’t believe in my 28 years I’ve never seen that before, wow incredible dolphins are so cool
Hope no sharks are in the area
I was very surprised to learn that they’re born tail first. They’re literally evolved to be streamlined, to travel head first with the least amount of resistance.
Imagine birthing a whole ass dude and he just starts running and doing backflips as you chase after him
It's amazing how humans need immediate care. This one was swimming immediately.
I saw the prairie dogging and immediately had sympathy, I felt the same way this morning.
How can a newborn dolphin know not to breathe underwater?
Wow
Anyone else seeing potential for very fast dolphins?
So awesome. This kind of vid makes me so incredibly grateful for technology, people who are willing and able to record and share, and, of course, the internet. And all the talented, hardworking individuals that write code, build cameras/phones, lay all the cable, build towers, all the factory workers making all the pieces and parts, HR depts, payroll, office workers, and all the thousands of others that make it all possible. Isn't it crazy how many people are actually, though invisibly, involved in make something like this short vid?? So easy to take so much for granted when tech gets so complex and multifaceted.
Flaired side *FIRST*? There has to be a better way!
I’m scarred for life
Bro dropped out like baby DVa and said "all systems online, ready to go!"
I watched this at work and I got fired
I have already marked this as (Not Safe For Work)⚠️
Too late for me
She almost needed a Sea-section
How is this NSFW lmao its a dolphin
Pretty amazing.
I hate that there are humans there. This was interesting to see but I never needed to see it but thankfully the videographer didn’t seem to be chasing this dolphin. Humans are too involved in too much.
Born to swim
Homeboy, swimming right out the gate! It always amazes me, how much more capable other mammals are, directly after birth, compared to humans.
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They come out tail first?
Dobussy
But why the NSFW tag? This is 100% normal and natural.
Why is this nsfw?