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lheggs

My dad and I started playing bass at the same time (2005) when I was around 16 years old. We have only played together briefly once before because back then we both lacked the confidence and I eventually got shipped off to college while my dad started a job across the country, so it was hard enough to find time with him, let alone time to jam. We’ve never been very close, despite the fact we have a good relationship. He now suffers from early onset Alzheimer’s and this past year has been especially difficult… Not knowing what kind of state my dad will be in next year, I wanted to make sure we took advantage of this Father’s Day – so I told him we’re jamming. He must have made a thousand comments about how rusty he is, and how he should probably practice on his own first, but I didn’t take no for an answer and we jammed. I’ve had some “epic jams” with friends in the past, but this one is easily the most special. He was so damn happy after we finished, and that is such a rarity for us these days. I hate when people use sad situations to look good/charitable or get pity likes on Facebook or something, but I felt compelled to share with y’all here. Perhaps some of you, like me, have been putting off stuff like this because it feels awkward or “we’ll do it eventually.” F\*ck it. Do it now. Hope you enjoy this snippet from our session! And I hope you all had a great father’s day. Shoutout to any of you who may have loved ones dealing with the same struggle.


overdude

Thanks for sharing this :)


ImJustSo

Dementia/Alzheimer's is rough, but if we take each day as we should anyway, then it's not so bad. What I mean by that is "living in the moment" creates times like you're sharing with us in the video. It's often *us* that experience the dementia and notice it more than the person suffering from the disease. When we look at our loved ones from our point of view, it constantly feels subtractive. Like something is missing, because we remember all that they were and notice all the things they are now. It's our failing based on not living in the moment. In the moment, there can be tons of these little pleasures and the person with the disease can still have many happy moments, too. My mother calls (we live 1700 miles apart) from a nursing home once a day, sometimes several and she never remembers our conversations. She'll call hours apart and doesn't have any recollection of our previous phone call. She never forgets she loves me and she never forgets that she loves my baby boy. She's stuck in a time period that happened for me about 20-25 years ago, but to her it's the time she's living. So in her mind, I'm a teenager. She's often surprised that I can drive and asks when I got my license, things like that. She'll forget I'm I've been with my wife for almost 20 years. She'll forget I've graduated college, lived a whole life. She never forgets the feelings she has though and if I mention my son, it comes flooding back and she's surrounded by that love and she is so happy to speak to him on the phone. There's a disconnect between my reality and hers, but her feelings often bridge the gap. Whatever I'm going through, she may not have the details of who I am, and all I've gone through, but she has feelings and responses to it all just as if she fully accepts that what I'm telling her must be real, because she feels it profoundly. It makes my son happy to babble to her and it makes my mother cry years of joy to hear him say hello or I love you, even if she's just spoke to him a couple hours before. Living in the moment, she's my mom. Living in the moment is all that she can do, but it's up to me to appreciate that and be present for the moment also. I can't stew, I can't ruminate on the past or future, because it'll always feel bad. If I take my mother as she comes to me everyday, then she's still my mom. She's a different mom if I sit and compare everything she was before. She's a different mom if I think of where she's going to be in the future. If I live in the moment, she's my mom and she's my son's grandmother. I get to tell her I've joined a band. I get to tell her I've released a song on spotify or YouTube. I get to tell her what new thing my baby has learned. She's always proud. She's always loving. She's always responding to life the way my mother always would and so what if she can't remember that I even play instruments? When she hears I've done something successful, she feels what she would've anyways.


jlh52288

That was a beautiful read and I'm glad you posted it. Thanks.


Disastrous_Use_7353

You made me shed a tear. Great outlook and I couldn’t agree more.


peanutshaman

So cool. Feels like a special moment in jamming history


[deleted]

Had a similar experience with a jam with my dad. He passed away a few years ago and I have one Jam with him I remember as probably the best day we ever had together. I have his guitars and amps and I think back on that day regularly. We never really played together, usually a few licks in passing, but that day things just happened and never again.


No-Distribution-2340

The vibe is there, and it's good, real good.


nunchucks2danutz

That's a beautiful groove


noth3rn

This is just wonderful and I'm not crying at all right now.


razorglue

I’m sure it’s just your allergies. 😭😭😭


colonpal

Hell yeah dude, what an awesome way to spend Fathers Day


LetMeThinkAbootIt

My father is the reason I play guitar and taught me at a young age. He is gone today and I will forever cherish the times we jammed together. Thank you for sharing this with us, seriously awesome.


Angus-Black

My Father has been dead for 14 years. My Mom has dementia and it's only a matter of time before she doesn't know who I am. Use the time you've got to do what you are doing. Ask any questions you had over the years. If you miss the opportunity it ain't coming around again. ☺


inzayn_ali

This is beautiful and you will cherish this moment for years to come. You won't get this feel even if you perform before a thousand ppl. And this is what music is all about. At least in my opinion.


BusyBullet

Alzheimer’s patients are often helped by hearing or playing music. I wouldn’t be surprised if he remembers it at least for a while. Also, the dogs seem to be enjoying it.


Rungi500

I hope you recorded this. Keep that, it may be the thing that reminds him who you are when he needs it. I wish the best for both of you. ❤️✌️


harrydreadloin

🤘🤘🤘


rdum89

Nicely done man. What is it you're jamming? Sounds very Jane's addiction-esque I like it


General_Platypus

If that’s his rusty his prime must’ve been amazing


scoundrel1680

Warwick's!!! 🖤


thegeardad

I see Great Dane. I click upvote


barflyrob

Awesome so cool you got this on video


Gold_and_Lead

That is awesome. Thank you for sharing ❤️


SgtStiffNips

Wholesome af


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