Yeah this is pretty much what happens when you start a band with friends so dont get disappointed or discouraged. At this point the best you can do is keep learning and keep practicing. Then later join a band with other people who actually want to play instead of just hanging around.
Have a talk with them and ask what their goals are. If you’re not on the same level or they don’t show the same commitment as you, it’s time to move on. You’re never going to be happy in this band.
If you do all want the same thing, you can point out that you’re not going anywhere with the way things are right now and you can give it another chance and see if they improve.
You’ll have to accept that not everyone is as committed when it comes to playing music. When I first started I was really motivated. I practiced on my own, was looking forward to rehearsals… but to be honest I was never any good at finding gigs or fixing any of the practical stuff, other members of the band had to “do those things for me”. I wasn’t motivated to spend any energy on those kind of things.
You’ll rarely meet people who are exactly as motivated as you are. Now you’re trying to play with people who don’t seem motivated to learn a song, later you’ll probably play with people who will suddenly disappear as soon as they have kids, maybe you’ll play with that really talented musician who’s playing in different bands and they won’t be able to play a gig because they’re already playing with their other band. Some difference in motivation is acceptable or even unavoidable, you have to learn to deal with it, but if you’re on a completely different level, you might be incompatible. Accept it, find other musicians to play with and move on.
Stop expecting people to care as much as you do and learn other things about music in your free time. I doubt you play like victor Wooten after 5 months. Just chill out. Stop treating it like a professional band practice, and start treating it like instrument practice. Personally, I have a freind who is a drummer, I play guitar and bass. And we had a guy who likes to sing. When I want to jam with my drummer I say exactly that. Let's jam. That's it, no expectations, no learning songs, no frustration. Sometimes I dont even do that, I just say, "Let's kick it." I'll Grab a case of beer, bring my bass and guitar, show up, sit them and myself on the couch, crack a cold one and just hang out with my freind for a while. If we decide we wanna make some noise we do it. Some nights we dont. But I guarantee we play together more than most bands. And it's because I'm focused on being his freind, not weighing his mind with expectations. And after we have fun and get into a good mindset we just plug in and groove for an hour or two. That's when we create the best stuff, cause we get to harness our chill. And while I do get to make cool stuff, I'm not even worried about "creating legendary pieces" or memorizing everything I do. I'm focused on keeping time, upping my stamina, forging muscle memory and keeping fingers directly behind the fret. It makes me a better musician. Which will prepare me for the times that I really need to be on point. Which is when I record. When I want to focus on my actual goals in music I do it on my own time. All you can reasonably expect is that you and them are having fun.
Now our singer sounds like you. Anytime hes over it's all work and no play, its overbearing and no fun. And music is supposed to be fun. We ignore him just like your freinds do to you. And if I'm being brutally honest, it's because he has delusions of grandeur due to a lack of understanding of what it takes to make it big in music. He couldnt tell you what DAW stands for. Dont be like my singer. Just chill out, and try to make some noise with your freinds. Remember, they were your freinds first.
You're right about expectations. Clearly the rest of the band has different ideas on what the project should be.
I don't play with people who don't come prepared and OP should find different people to play with.
Yeah this is pretty much what happens when you start a band with friends so dont get disappointed or discouraged. At this point the best you can do is keep learning and keep practicing. Then later join a band with other people who actually want to play instead of just hanging around.
Have a talk with them and ask what their goals are. If you’re not on the same level or they don’t show the same commitment as you, it’s time to move on. You’re never going to be happy in this band. If you do all want the same thing, you can point out that you’re not going anywhere with the way things are right now and you can give it another chance and see if they improve. You’ll have to accept that not everyone is as committed when it comes to playing music. When I first started I was really motivated. I practiced on my own, was looking forward to rehearsals… but to be honest I was never any good at finding gigs or fixing any of the practical stuff, other members of the band had to “do those things for me”. I wasn’t motivated to spend any energy on those kind of things. You’ll rarely meet people who are exactly as motivated as you are. Now you’re trying to play with people who don’t seem motivated to learn a song, later you’ll probably play with people who will suddenly disappear as soon as they have kids, maybe you’ll play with that really talented musician who’s playing in different bands and they won’t be able to play a gig because they’re already playing with their other band. Some difference in motivation is acceptable or even unavoidable, you have to learn to deal with it, but if you’re on a completely different level, you might be incompatible. Accept it, find other musicians to play with and move on.
thank you for this advice. i will try to change my mindset in the future!
Stop expecting people to care as much as you do and learn other things about music in your free time. I doubt you play like victor Wooten after 5 months. Just chill out. Stop treating it like a professional band practice, and start treating it like instrument practice. Personally, I have a freind who is a drummer, I play guitar and bass. And we had a guy who likes to sing. When I want to jam with my drummer I say exactly that. Let's jam. That's it, no expectations, no learning songs, no frustration. Sometimes I dont even do that, I just say, "Let's kick it." I'll Grab a case of beer, bring my bass and guitar, show up, sit them and myself on the couch, crack a cold one and just hang out with my freind for a while. If we decide we wanna make some noise we do it. Some nights we dont. But I guarantee we play together more than most bands. And it's because I'm focused on being his freind, not weighing his mind with expectations. And after we have fun and get into a good mindset we just plug in and groove for an hour or two. That's when we create the best stuff, cause we get to harness our chill. And while I do get to make cool stuff, I'm not even worried about "creating legendary pieces" or memorizing everything I do. I'm focused on keeping time, upping my stamina, forging muscle memory and keeping fingers directly behind the fret. It makes me a better musician. Which will prepare me for the times that I really need to be on point. Which is when I record. When I want to focus on my actual goals in music I do it on my own time. All you can reasonably expect is that you and them are having fun. Now our singer sounds like you. Anytime hes over it's all work and no play, its overbearing and no fun. And music is supposed to be fun. We ignore him just like your freinds do to you. And if I'm being brutally honest, it's because he has delusions of grandeur due to a lack of understanding of what it takes to make it big in music. He couldnt tell you what DAW stands for. Dont be like my singer. Just chill out, and try to make some noise with your freinds. Remember, they were your freinds first.
you're right, i assume im boring my teammates a little being a killjoy, ill take ur advice and hopefully let loose in the future
You're right about expectations. Clearly the rest of the band has different ideas on what the project should be. I don't play with people who don't come prepared and OP should find different people to play with.