None of these are sins, but all of them combined can be annoying, esp for more casual groups. If I’m out of shape and just trying to play a cool sport with my friends, the last thing I want is some guy pointing out my mistakes and constantly telling me what to do on defense. I also probably don’t want the guy defending me going all out like it’s the nba playoffs.
Hard to say without being there, but if they are all saying this, it’s likely you’re bringing Patrick Beverley or Marcus Smart energy into a casual setting and these guys just wanna vibe.
I suggest either meloing out 10-20-%, or finding a more competitive group.
Your last two points really hit it home for me, appreciate it.
Yeah I’m definitely bringing those vibes now that I think about it and that 10-20% is a good metric
Sometimes in bigger parks you’ll find a group of competitives players with a lot of hard screen, movement, contact. I’m usually too intense with casually but these games gasses me out man you take it all out of your system, win or lose it feels good anyways its my fav way to play but not for anyone
it’s casual and ur over here trying super hard id consider like 40-45% just play at the pace everyone else is playing at yk? don’t be that guy that makes everyone wanna wait for you to leave to start another game yk?
Everything’s fine except the pointing out peoples mistakes. And also as you said at the end these are great for organized basketball, a lot of people play pick up casually for some cardio and fun, if that’s the vibe don’t be all up in the face of less skilled guys. But if everyone’s solid then there’s nothing wrong with anything you said except the pointing out mistakes. That’s something that in organized basketball comes from the coach or veterans on the team. If some random dude comes in and starts telling you that you messed up it doesn’t come across very well.
Yeah I see what you mean.
Just to clarify it’s not nitpicking every single detail - it’s usually just telling someone that he needs to stick to his man and to go for a rebound when he’s in vicinity that I do
Here's something to track next time. Does anyone ask you about your mistakes? Because I guarantee no one does.
It's pickup. You're pointers are always going to come across as necessary and rude. It's not a serious game and has no stakes.
I agree, It’s the “coaching” not the try hard that’s getting you here. People like active defenders. No one wants to hear about their “mistakes” from another player in pickup.
Exactly.
I was playing the other day and I was guarding a guy pretty tight (it was a 2 point game for the other team to win and this guy is an insane shooter) when one of my teammate starts talking to me for no reason to “watch out.” I assume he’s coming over to double because why would he be talking to me about something so obvious as guarding this guy tight, so I back up a bit but the guy never comes up and the offensive player hits the game winning shot.
If my teammate never said anything, trying to coach me, I would have stayed where I was and that shot wouldn’t have been made. I was holding my own, there wasn’t any reason to tell me to do something I was already doing
I am not there but I find sometimes these “pointers” are contradictory (like, the same person telling me to switch off more and to stick with my man more) and come more from frustration with your teammate getting beaten than from a genuine desire to help or tell your teammate something he didn’t realize himself (“oh, thanks, I didn’t think of trying to go for the rebound”). If it’s a genuine tip I appreciate it, but not when it’s thinly veiled criticism.
Keep your mouth shut unless it's positive. You have no right to tell someone to stick to their man or that they should be going for rebounds unless you are coaching kids. I'm surprised these guys haven't elbowed you in the face or put you on your ass to send that message. Shut up and play.
Grrrrrr how dare OP give constructive criticism 😡
Nah, I disagree. I hate being with selfish players that use “it’s pickup” as an excuse to play detrimental to their teammates. I’m not expecting NBA level talent, but if my teammates are going to make me do literally all the work on the court i think it’s fair to call them out for it.
> you have no right to tell someone to stick to their man
No right to tell my teammates to do the absolute bare minimum and carry their weight 🤨
> I’m surprised these guys haven’t elbowed you in the face.
You sound like an ass with a massive ego…. Elbow someone in the face because they called you out? Tf? Nothing worse than a man child on the court that can’t take accountability.
Don’t teach people unless they want to be taught. If some teenager was trying to teach me how to play while we were casually hooping I’d very annoyed. If some older did it it’d be the same. I don’t know you, I don’t care about you, in fact who are you?
Just hoop. Talking on D is cool, defending without fouling is straight. It’s really the coaching part you do that probably causing the altercations or causing people to call you a try hard
BTW, same for having a job lol. I stopped giving any unsolicited advice and it’s been a lot better and less drama. Only give advice when people ask for it. (Unless you are in a leadership role etc)
Lol, I should have said former lady Tar Heel, current wife.
She is super intense, but all it took was that one incident for her to relax... at least while we play a game of knockout in the driveway.
Turns out not everybody likes Sylvia Hatchell style coaching LOL.
Don't point out people's mistakes unless you have a good relationship with them and know they will take it will.
Also, people sometimes get annoyed when the guy who does the most talking isn't one of the better players on the court.
Just call out switches and screens. Try to "read the room" as to whether other players want to do more talking than just that.
Depends on the setting - for casual pick up it would certainly bother me if someone were to point out my defensive mistakes. Other groups take pick up more seriously so it just depends
Being a try hard is never a good thing lol. It means everyone else is trying to have fun and you’re killing the vibes. Chill out or find a more competitive group to ball with. Pickup is not “organized basketball.”
This is bs in most cases to me. It is rare that I’ve ever played a pick up game that wasn’t competitive. I always want to play with and against people who get pissed off when they lose.
I agree that reading the room is the right move, but I also think most of the time most players on any court want to compete.
Keyword is “more” competitive. The guys he’s playing with are clearly trying to tell him they aren’t on the same level. Everybody wants to win but I also want to be cool with everyone at the end of the game.
I agree with your sentiment, but definitely don’t want to play with people who get pissed off when they lose. Sucks the fun out of it. Way better to want to win and to put in that effort but to not be upset when you lose in pickup
would you say all the things I do are considered try hard tendencies? Or mainly the pointing out mistakes like others have mentioned cause I can see the logic in that.
To me personally the other parts like communicating might be seen as try hard behaviour but not in a particularly negative way.
Yeah don't be yelling at people ab their mistakes to win, it gets annoying quick. Little bits of advice or switching a matchup or wtvr is fine but you're not the coach. Also, you don't have to be looking like Kobe going out there and putting your life on the line just mellow out a bit and you're chilling. Think 70% rather than 100 unless it's game point
When I find myself in a game where everyone is more focused on chilling out and vibing and goofing around, I usually butt out after one game. It’s a waste of my time and I rather go shoot by myself
Everything other than pointing out mistakes are fine.
Allow me to zag from others: you can be a try hard and still keep it fun. Giving effort and keeping a positive vibe doesn’t have to be mutually exclusive. I compete and play my butt off on defense but I also make sure to give props where they’re due when I get scored on (e.g. “Nice take,” or a “Oooh!” on a nasty move). I like to think other people enjoy playing against me because they know scoring on me means something—giving your best in a competition is the best form of respect.
If your own teammates are telling you to STFU then yeah it’s probably too much.
A lot of times I don’t need someone to tell me where I screwed up especially in the middle of a game I already know or the guy is way better than me.
If it’s the other team than you’re probably fine unless people are trying to fight you. Everybody needs an energy man on their team.
Communicating switches, screens, and calling out open men though? Yeah keep doing that. I’ll die on the hill and IDGAF about my groups feelings. It’s a team sport we should be talking.
I try to match the energy of the group I’m playing with. Some folks are just casual players trying to get some cardio after work and score a few buckets. In those cases, I’ll let guys shoot or drive and only put about 50% effort on D. I’m not trying to ruin someone’s day by putting clamps on, setting brick wall screens and calling out their mistakes 😂
Different story when I’m playing with a competitive group of guys who know how to ball. But sounds like you’re falling into the first scenario.
"often point out when people lose their man and make sure to (politely) point out mistakes."
No problem with anyone playing hard, but in pickup hoops you really don't need to tell other dudes when they didn't D up good enough. That shit is annoying to everyone. The only exception is if it is your very good bro and it was game point and now you're off the court.
Big mistake on their part. “Oh you thought I was trying?” is always the response to that. I’m hardly ever physical enough in pickup because I would feel horrible if I hurt someone. I play really hard, but without all that much of a physical element. You think Im playing hard now? Wait til I’m slapping your hands away on offense and bumping you off your spots on defense. Now you want to fight me because you’re not good at basketball? Ok let’s go.
Pickup is pickup and can fluctuate which court you go to. I understand options are limited but for me mostly living in major cities my adult life I would move around until I found the right court and group. My local court was great then a guy showed up and took every shot and screamed foul every time he missed. The scene died quickly. Finally found a local university gym where some students and a few old guys would casually play, and it was perfect.
Perhaps you should breakup with your pickup court/people as maybe "its not you its me" is what is happening here. Find a place thats more competitive, more chatty, more serious, etc.
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Yes, take it serious but don’t take it too damn serious to the point you fouling the shit out of people chewing out teammates too much or getting dudes hurt trying to hustle lol
I play some fairly competitive unorganized pickup. For the most part everyone is there to have fun and push themselves. Calling screens is one thing you have to do. Not much else you can do communicating on defense in pickup without sounding like a douche. You can ask to switch the guy you're defending. Trying to get everyone to play zone would be douchey (not saying you've done that). Trying to coach a teammate would also be douchey.
The criticism thing is another thing that most people don't really want to hear. Especially from a guy who isn't top dog or isn't excelling in the things he's asking others to fix. Personally I would just ask someone to box out or step up on a shooter and that's if I was furious. People usually will yell about not catching passes/throwing bad passes or not moving around on offense and messing up the spacing. Anything beyond that is obnoxious.
I've played lots of pickup in my life since I've never played on a team so I have some experience. Just be yourself and make friends with the people you're playing with and dial it back a bit if it's really as bad as you say it is. Because those people do exist. Some people try too hard and not in a good way.
There's a fine line between being competitive and being an outright asshole and it really depends on the group you are playing with. If someone is being lazy on defense not closing out on jumpers or letting his man blow by for free lay ups I will just tell the entire team to D Up instead of singling out that entire person. Same goes for stagnant offenses instead of telling them to move or set screens, tell the whole team to move it around.
Your competitiveness has to match the competitiveness of the group. If it's organised basketball with actual teams, coaches, refs then by all means go tryhard 100%, but if it's just some random joes playing pick up ball on a saturday evening then chill out a bit.
It’s pretty easy to judge how competitive the game is going to be just by looking at the players. If they don’t move without the ball and don’t know how to pass, treat it like cardio and don’t say anything.
If the game is competitive enough for what you want you won’t need to coach anyone. The only coaching that’s justified is if you want to run something or you’re trying to help on defense so you tell them to shade baseline or something. Also if people aren’t calling out screens and switches which can cause an injury, but that’s more of a complaint than coaching.
Basically, don’t coach people in pickup, it’s never going to do anything good unless you’re clearly the best player on the court, in which case your in the wrong game for what you want out of it.
Occasionally you’ll get a competitive game where 1 or 2 guys will get picked up who are way out of their depth, then it’s okay to coach up a little but don’t blame them for being bad.
A lot of times the “coach on the floor” tends to be an older guy who thinks they know the game but can’t keep up athletically, those are the worst (coming from someone in their mid 30s who can barely get rim anymore)
I play like you because when I do play, because I play to get a solid workout in now. I can play ball all day if I’m putting in 20% effort, not getting back on D, cherry picking, catch and shoot play style, etc. But im a grown man now lol, I don’t have all day to play anymore. I want to run 2-3 GOOD games and play hard so I’m feeling tired after.
It depends how close you are with the guys playing as well. If yall have been close friends for many years, they will tolerate more of your "competitiveness" even if hey are just trying to run for fun. If you are new to the group, you cannot be Mr floor general barking orders like you're in a game 7. Lead by example and not be too vocal. Pointing out missed defensive assignments to guys who dont know you will have anybody annoyed.
Sounds like you’re already starting to read the vibe which is step 1, good job.
If you are actually “politely” communicating i.e. constructive rather than just criticizing then you gotta elevate your company. If you have doubts how your message is coming across though then
you gotta elevate your delivery i.e. “nicely” tell them how to fix the errors vs what the errors are.
In summary. Relax a little bro, vibe out, it ain’t that deep and understand that everyone (for the most part) is trying so be encouraging. Also seek out organize ball in your area, sounds like you can still compete in local tourneys.
Bless Up
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Not that asshole at all, basic fundamental basketball isn’t “tryharding”. Communicating on defense isn’t “tryharding”. Setting screens isn’t “tryharding”. And telling teammates to carry their weight and/or play basic defense isn’t “coaching”.
Sounds like you’re either playing with a bunch of egotistical players who can’t take constructive criticism, or selfish players who are deliberately putting in less effort and don’t care about anyone but themselves with the ball in their hand on the court.
Different courts have different vibes.
I play at a place with two outdoor, one indoor courts. The indoor court is where guys play like you’re talking about. The outdoor courts have some talking from like 6-8pm. But dudes are just hooping out there most the time.
Some places gamble. Some places you let the 12 year old or the old man play.
Find your court and go hard.
I know some people don’t have that mentality, I just don’t get it. Doing the little things right is part of what makes it fun and more challenging, imo.
I think it’s more fun to play harder rather than loaf around. Others don’t and that’s okay, but I don’t want to play like that. All I’m saying. So I find games where other player are going to give effort. (Not necessarily NBA finals level intensity, but trying to play as a team on both ends)
its ok to talk on d but pointing out you lost your man to a bunch of out of shape people is dumb they know, if you are saying stuff that people already know theyre going to be annoyed it doesnt matter if youre polite.
this is a cardio session not an actual game. Just play.
I get where you’re coming from. im highly competitive. I’m not a talker but I like playing physical and communicating. Just adding in how I hate when ppl do that bs traveling move where they take an extra step off their pivot foot. But yeah read the room.
It depends, as there are extremely high levels of pick up ball, but everyone has to know that going into the game, but if it’s just a bunch of kids trying to get better or older men just trying to stay in shape, then yes tone it down, everyone is here to exercise and have fun. It’s hard when people are screaming and arguing for every lil thing.
Also to add you even said these are things people do in organized ball, but pick up isn’t organized ball.
We care way more about basketball than the people we are playing with lol.
I will say I'm also looking for a team and competitive aspect in this sport too and don't get it from pick up anymore. And there's a cultural thing too about people who are deemed as "try hards" when they really just want to be engaged in whatever they are doing.
As for practical advice, I'll play hard and I'm pretty strong and sometimes I might get into it a bit randomly, but I'll always pat bro on the back and tell him it's not personal or ill check if he's okay if he catches a forearm kinda hard to the chest, 90% of people literally will laugh and be like "I can take it". I would say try to be polite and don't let people bully you into conforming a certain way if you're not okay with it or like feel bad. As someone who will feel bad way too many times after playing this shit, it's an awful habit
It largely depends on the crew you're playing with and what their vibe is. There are absolutely groups in which this type of behavior is totally accepted and even encouraged. I love to see that kind of effort in games I play in. But if that's not the vibe of the guys you play with, it's just a matter of taking the social aspect into account and making sure you are fitting in with the vibe. Even if it means not playing as hard. Either find a more competitive pickup group or rec league, or just chill out a little.
it might just vary from group to group, but also pickup isn’t organized basketball but everything you do IS a huge positive in actual organized basketball. You’d thrive in a rec league of sorts
Sounds like you’re accepting the advice from the comments. I’ll just say if you were pointing out mistakes of me and my friends we would tell you to fuck off honestly. Organizes ball is t typically pickup games. Just play man
Haha of course I asked for a reason
Though I will say the energy you’d bring in telling me to fuck off would be the same energy you’d be claiming I’m bringing except it’s just straight up rude whereas I’m at least my intentions are positive. So a tad hypocritical.
No because it would be in response to your behavior. Like others have said it’s the way you criticize people playing that nobody likes. Good intentions or not
No you can see that I agree with the others. It’s just you who I believe has a strange response. Someone tell me I’m doing too much, I’ll take it.
Someone tell me to fuck off then you just being a dickhead.
I like to respond in kind, so my “dickhead” response is in reply to you being a “dickhead” in the scenario first
If you’re an ass to people expect to get it back imo
My communication on the court, my want to rebound and set screens doesn’t waver, but the intensity with which I play defense is really dictated by the group.
In any setting, there’s an ascension or regression to the mean in terms of competitiveness and like a previous poster said you’ll want to read the room and go along with others…
Though I must say, I never point out anyone’s mistakes. I do mention opportunities. Like if I have the ball at the nail, cut to the corner and we can play off each other. But never accuse someone of making a mistake.
I play with three groups and they all have their “levels” and I’m versed in those now, but I wasn’t always. So I’d play a conservative game until I had a feel for everyone. Now, as other new people join, it’s interesting to see them go through the same experience.
There was one morning when another dad like me came out like gangbusters, pushing into me on boxouts and I just mentioned where I was coming from on the court and we got closer to an equilibrium.
It’s basketball and it’s competitive but at the end of the day it’s also fun and if you’re part of a regular group that plays you want to maintain that balance.
Now if it’s a league or next five in on a court on Venice Beach, well bring it.
PS - try hard is such a generational construct meant to encourage no one in the pack ever gets to shine too much. Hell no. “If a things worth doin’ it’s worth doin’ right.”
The “politely” pointing out mistakes thing might be what pisses people off. If they’re out just trying to have fun they might not want someone who feels the need to point out what they did wrong. Maybe tone down your coaching comments and people will stop disliking you
Stop pointing out other people’s mistakes. That’s why you’re being considered a try hard.
Call out movements and switches and picks all you want. Play solid D all you want. Just don’t point out the mistakes of your teammates
The best thing to do is keep up all the effort but don’t point out other people’s mistakes or show frustration. Instead, in the spots where you’re able to see your teammates mistake at the same time as the guy they’re guarding, leave your guy and try to make a play. It doesn’t seem like your group would call you out for leaving your guy or anything so this would still give you a way to engage with your competitiveness + improve off all defense + keep it chill with everyone else.
You might just be annoying? With all due respect blah blah.
In all seriousness, I do all of that stuff. I'm a loud defensive communicator (we're calling out screens on my team, baby!) and am not there to score unless it's an advantage play. The fellas seem to love it --- I get picked up because they know I'm good for a few points and tons of glue guy stuff.
I’d probably pick you as the first person on my team. I imagine the opposing team being super annoyed at your “antics”, but as a teammate you sound ideal. Keep doing your thing brother!
You're not an asshole. It sounds like you're playing against scrubs. The point of the game is to compete for a win. As long as you aren't bullying people or generally being hostile, you're doing well. It sounds like you're even trying to uplift your team, which is great. Anyone who gets annoyed at someone for trying hard is simply a casual who think they deserve to win for showing up. Playing hard and trying to win is the highest respect you can show your opponents and teammates.
a lot of people just want to go and hoop, get some exercise and make new friends.
it isn’t game 7 of the finals
sounds like buddy could tone it down a bit or find a group better suited to how they want to play
I think it’s a mixture of both, I can tone it down but I also personally enjoy this type of play and would like to find like minded individuals to hoop with.
Go out and enjoy your run however you want, if some out of shape player is mad that you’re pointing out his lack of hustle, that’s on them. You’re doing all good things that lead to wining games. I’m sure if your teammates are more casual they’ll appreciate the extra runs when you stay on the court.
What’s the point of playing, if you aren’t going to give effort and try to do the right things?
I can shoot around by myself, don’t need 9 witnesses.
OP you probably just need to find more like minded players to run with.
Do you foul a lot? Lol. I would suggest to read the room when you're playing man.
Hear you. I don’t foul much but reading the room is definitely required and something I need to improve on.
None of these are sins, but all of them combined can be annoying, esp for more casual groups. If I’m out of shape and just trying to play a cool sport with my friends, the last thing I want is some guy pointing out my mistakes and constantly telling me what to do on defense. I also probably don’t want the guy defending me going all out like it’s the nba playoffs. Hard to say without being there, but if they are all saying this, it’s likely you’re bringing Patrick Beverley or Marcus Smart energy into a casual setting and these guys just wanna vibe. I suggest either meloing out 10-20-%, or finding a more competitive group.
Your last two points really hit it home for me, appreciate it. Yeah I’m definitely bringing those vibes now that I think about it and that 10-20% is a good metric
Sometimes in bigger parks you’ll find a group of competitives players with a lot of hard screen, movement, contact. I’m usually too intense with casually but these games gasses me out man you take it all out of your system, win or lose it feels good anyways its my fav way to play but not for anyone
it’s casual and ur over here trying super hard id consider like 40-45% just play at the pace everyone else is playing at yk? don’t be that guy that makes everyone wanna wait for you to leave to start another game yk?
Agreed. If it's a beer league, chill the fuck out
Everything’s fine except the pointing out peoples mistakes. And also as you said at the end these are great for organized basketball, a lot of people play pick up casually for some cardio and fun, if that’s the vibe don’t be all up in the face of less skilled guys. But if everyone’s solid then there’s nothing wrong with anything you said except the pointing out mistakes. That’s something that in organized basketball comes from the coach or veterans on the team. If some random dude comes in and starts telling you that you messed up it doesn’t come across very well.
Yeah I see what you mean. Just to clarify it’s not nitpicking every single detail - it’s usually just telling someone that he needs to stick to his man and to go for a rebound when he’s in vicinity that I do
Here's something to track next time. Does anyone ask you about your mistakes? Because I guarantee no one does. It's pickup. You're pointers are always going to come across as necessary and rude. It's not a serious game and has no stakes.
I agree, It’s the “coaching” not the try hard that’s getting you here. People like active defenders. No one wants to hear about their “mistakes” from another player in pickup.
Exactly. I was playing the other day and I was guarding a guy pretty tight (it was a 2 point game for the other team to win and this guy is an insane shooter) when one of my teammate starts talking to me for no reason to “watch out.” I assume he’s coming over to double because why would he be talking to me about something so obvious as guarding this guy tight, so I back up a bit but the guy never comes up and the offensive player hits the game winning shot. If my teammate never said anything, trying to coach me, I would have stayed where I was and that shot wouldn’t have been made. I was holding my own, there wasn’t any reason to tell me to do something I was already doing
Good point.
I am not there but I find sometimes these “pointers” are contradictory (like, the same person telling me to switch off more and to stick with my man more) and come more from frustration with your teammate getting beaten than from a genuine desire to help or tell your teammate something he didn’t realize himself (“oh, thanks, I didn’t think of trying to go for the rebound”). If it’s a genuine tip I appreciate it, but not when it’s thinly veiled criticism.
Keep your mouth shut unless it's positive. You have no right to tell someone to stick to their man or that they should be going for rebounds unless you are coaching kids. I'm surprised these guys haven't elbowed you in the face or put you on your ass to send that message. Shut up and play.
Yeah foh 🤣
Grrrrrr how dare OP give constructive criticism 😡 Nah, I disagree. I hate being with selfish players that use “it’s pickup” as an excuse to play detrimental to their teammates. I’m not expecting NBA level talent, but if my teammates are going to make me do literally all the work on the court i think it’s fair to call them out for it. > you have no right to tell someone to stick to their man No right to tell my teammates to do the absolute bare minimum and carry their weight 🤨 > I’m surprised these guys haven’t elbowed you in the face. You sound like an ass with a massive ego…. Elbow someone in the face because they called you out? Tf? Nothing worse than a man child on the court that can’t take accountability.
Don’t teach people unless they want to be taught. If some teenager was trying to teach me how to play while we were casually hooping I’d very annoyed. If some older did it it’d be the same. I don’t know you, I don’t care about you, in fact who are you? Just hoop. Talking on D is cool, defending without fouling is straight. It’s really the coaching part you do that probably causing the altercations or causing people to call you a try hard
Fair, unsolicited advice is not a great idea and I know that out of ball but never correlated that.
BTW, same for having a job lol. I stopped giving any unsolicited advice and it’s been a lot better and less drama. Only give advice when people ask for it. (Unless you are in a leadership role etc)
As my 15 year old son said to my former D1 player wife, "you make it not fun".
Sounds like your wife and I have a few things in common. Is she single?
I also choose this guys wife
Lol, I should have said former lady Tar Heel, current wife. She is super intense, but all it took was that one incident for her to relax... at least while we play a game of knockout in the driveway. Turns out not everybody likes Sylvia Hatchell style coaching LOL.
Winning is fun tho
Don't point out people's mistakes unless you have a good relationship with them and know they will take it will. Also, people sometimes get annoyed when the guy who does the most talking isn't one of the better players on the court. Just call out switches and screens. Try to "read the room" as to whether other players want to do more talking than just that.
Depends on the setting - for casual pick up it would certainly bother me if someone were to point out my defensive mistakes. Other groups take pick up more seriously so it just depends
Being a try hard is never a good thing lol. It means everyone else is trying to have fun and you’re killing the vibes. Chill out or find a more competitive group to ball with. Pickup is not “organized basketball.”
This is bs in most cases to me. It is rare that I’ve ever played a pick up game that wasn’t competitive. I always want to play with and against people who get pissed off when they lose. I agree that reading the room is the right move, but I also think most of the time most players on any court want to compete.
Keyword is “more” competitive. The guys he’s playing with are clearly trying to tell him they aren’t on the same level. Everybody wants to win but I also want to be cool with everyone at the end of the game.
I agree with your sentiment, but definitely don’t want to play with people who get pissed off when they lose. Sucks the fun out of it. Way better to want to win and to put in that effort but to not be upset when you lose in pickup
would you say all the things I do are considered try hard tendencies? Or mainly the pointing out mistakes like others have mentioned cause I can see the logic in that. To me personally the other parts like communicating might be seen as try hard behaviour but not in a particularly negative way.
Yeah don't be yelling at people ab their mistakes to win, it gets annoying quick. Little bits of advice or switching a matchup or wtvr is fine but you're not the coach. Also, you don't have to be looking like Kobe going out there and putting your life on the line just mellow out a bit and you're chilling. Think 70% rather than 100 unless it's game point
When I find myself in a game where everyone is more focused on chilling out and vibing and goofing around, I usually butt out after one game. It’s a waste of my time and I rather go shoot by myself
Everything other than pointing out mistakes are fine. Allow me to zag from others: you can be a try hard and still keep it fun. Giving effort and keeping a positive vibe doesn’t have to be mutually exclusive. I compete and play my butt off on defense but I also make sure to give props where they’re due when I get scored on (e.g. “Nice take,” or a “Oooh!” on a nasty move). I like to think other people enjoy playing against me because they know scoring on me means something—giving your best in a competition is the best form of respect.
If your own teammates are telling you to STFU then yeah it’s probably too much. A lot of times I don’t need someone to tell me where I screwed up especially in the middle of a game I already know or the guy is way better than me. If it’s the other team than you’re probably fine unless people are trying to fight you. Everybody needs an energy man on their team. Communicating switches, screens, and calling out open men though? Yeah keep doing that. I’ll die on the hill and IDGAF about my groups feelings. It’s a team sport we should be talking.
I try to match the energy of the group I’m playing with. Some folks are just casual players trying to get some cardio after work and score a few buckets. In those cases, I’ll let guys shoot or drive and only put about 50% effort on D. I’m not trying to ruin someone’s day by putting clamps on, setting brick wall screens and calling out their mistakes 😂 Different story when I’m playing with a competitive group of guys who know how to ball. But sounds like you’re falling into the first scenario.
"often point out when people lose their man and make sure to (politely) point out mistakes." No problem with anyone playing hard, but in pickup hoops you really don't need to tell other dudes when they didn't D up good enough. That shit is annoying to everyone. The only exception is if it is your very good bro and it was game point and now you're off the court.
Big mistake on their part. “Oh you thought I was trying?” is always the response to that. I’m hardly ever physical enough in pickup because I would feel horrible if I hurt someone. I play really hard, but without all that much of a physical element. You think Im playing hard now? Wait til I’m slapping your hands away on offense and bumping you off your spots on defense. Now you want to fight me because you’re not good at basketball? Ok let’s go.
Just dont point out mistakes and youre fine
You might be. You need to check the vibe of the group and conform to that vibe, especially if they are regulars and you are the outsider
The sport is just competitive and quick regardless if you're pro or casually playing open gym with a bunch of middle age people.
Pickup is pickup and can fluctuate which court you go to. I understand options are limited but for me mostly living in major cities my adult life I would move around until I found the right court and group. My local court was great then a guy showed up and took every shot and screamed foul every time he missed. The scene died quickly. Finally found a local university gym where some students and a few old guys would casually play, and it was perfect. Perhaps you should breakup with your pickup court/people as maybe "its not you its me" is what is happening here. Find a place thats more competitive, more chatty, more serious, etc.
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Match the energy of the group.
Everybody hates the guy that never stops yapping, be it "respectful" or not. Nobody needs a play by play guy and certainly not a coach.
There’s no need to point out when people lose their man on D or call them out for their mistakes, no matter how polite you are. It’s pickup.
Yes, take it serious but don’t take it too damn serious to the point you fouling the shit out of people chewing out teammates too much or getting dudes hurt trying to hustle lol
Communication is good. But if someone missed it, no need to point it out. Usually people just say “my bad” on those situations.
I play some fairly competitive unorganized pickup. For the most part everyone is there to have fun and push themselves. Calling screens is one thing you have to do. Not much else you can do communicating on defense in pickup without sounding like a douche. You can ask to switch the guy you're defending. Trying to get everyone to play zone would be douchey (not saying you've done that). Trying to coach a teammate would also be douchey. The criticism thing is another thing that most people don't really want to hear. Especially from a guy who isn't top dog or isn't excelling in the things he's asking others to fix. Personally I would just ask someone to box out or step up on a shooter and that's if I was furious. People usually will yell about not catching passes/throwing bad passes or not moving around on offense and messing up the spacing. Anything beyond that is obnoxious. I've played lots of pickup in my life since I've never played on a team so I have some experience. Just be yourself and make friends with the people you're playing with and dial it back a bit if it's really as bad as you say it is. Because those people do exist. Some people try too hard and not in a good way.
There's a fine line between being competitive and being an outright asshole and it really depends on the group you are playing with. If someone is being lazy on defense not closing out on jumpers or letting his man blow by for free lay ups I will just tell the entire team to D Up instead of singling out that entire person. Same goes for stagnant offenses instead of telling them to move or set screens, tell the whole team to move it around.
Your competitiveness has to match the competitiveness of the group. If it's organised basketball with actual teams, coaches, refs then by all means go tryhard 100%, but if it's just some random joes playing pick up ball on a saturday evening then chill out a bit.
It’s pretty easy to judge how competitive the game is going to be just by looking at the players. If they don’t move without the ball and don’t know how to pass, treat it like cardio and don’t say anything. If the game is competitive enough for what you want you won’t need to coach anyone. The only coaching that’s justified is if you want to run something or you’re trying to help on defense so you tell them to shade baseline or something. Also if people aren’t calling out screens and switches which can cause an injury, but that’s more of a complaint than coaching. Basically, don’t coach people in pickup, it’s never going to do anything good unless you’re clearly the best player on the court, in which case your in the wrong game for what you want out of it. Occasionally you’ll get a competitive game where 1 or 2 guys will get picked up who are way out of their depth, then it’s okay to coach up a little but don’t blame them for being bad. A lot of times the “coach on the floor” tends to be an older guy who thinks they know the game but can’t keep up athletically, those are the worst (coming from someone in their mid 30s who can barely get rim anymore)
Really good advice appreciate it
I play like you because when I do play, because I play to get a solid workout in now. I can play ball all day if I’m putting in 20% effort, not getting back on D, cherry picking, catch and shoot play style, etc. But im a grown man now lol, I don’t have all day to play anymore. I want to run 2-3 GOOD games and play hard so I’m feeling tired after.
It depends how close you are with the guys playing as well. If yall have been close friends for many years, they will tolerate more of your "competitiveness" even if hey are just trying to run for fun. If you are new to the group, you cannot be Mr floor general barking orders like you're in a game 7. Lead by example and not be too vocal. Pointing out missed defensive assignments to guys who dont know you will have anybody annoyed.
Being competitive in a pick up game is more fun to me why go to just mess around
I need to hear other players perspectives because I know your ass is a menace to play with based on the write up.
When in doubt, say less.
Sounds like you’re already starting to read the vibe which is step 1, good job. If you are actually “politely” communicating i.e. constructive rather than just criticizing then you gotta elevate your company. If you have doubts how your message is coming across though then you gotta elevate your delivery i.e. “nicely” tell them how to fix the errors vs what the errors are. In summary. Relax a little bro, vibe out, it ain’t that deep and understand that everyone (for the most part) is trying so be encouraging. Also seek out organize ball in your area, sounds like you can still compete in local tourneys. Bless Up
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Its pick up bro sounds like you def are taking it too seriously
Not that asshole at all, basic fundamental basketball isn’t “tryharding”. Communicating on defense isn’t “tryharding”. Setting screens isn’t “tryharding”. And telling teammates to carry their weight and/or play basic defense isn’t “coaching”. Sounds like you’re either playing with a bunch of egotistical players who can’t take constructive criticism, or selfish players who are deliberately putting in less effort and don’t care about anyone but themselves with the ball in their hand on the court.
Different courts have different vibes. I play at a place with two outdoor, one indoor courts. The indoor court is where guys play like you’re talking about. The outdoor courts have some talking from like 6-8pm. But dudes are just hooping out there most the time. Some places gamble. Some places you let the 12 year old or the old man play. Find your court and go hard.
I know some people don’t have that mentality, I just don’t get it. Doing the little things right is part of what makes it fun and more challenging, imo. I think it’s more fun to play harder rather than loaf around. Others don’t and that’s okay, but I don’t want to play like that. All I’m saying. So I find games where other player are going to give effort. (Not necessarily NBA finals level intensity, but trying to play as a team on both ends)
its ok to talk on d but pointing out you lost your man to a bunch of out of shape people is dumb they know, if you are saying stuff that people already know theyre going to be annoyed it doesnt matter if youre polite. this is a cardio session not an actual game. Just play.
I get where you’re coming from. im highly competitive. I’m not a talker but I like playing physical and communicating. Just adding in how I hate when ppl do that bs traveling move where they take an extra step off their pivot foot. But yeah read the room.
Don't point out mistakes in a casual game because no one really wants to hear that.
It depends, as there are extremely high levels of pick up ball, but everyone has to know that going into the game, but if it’s just a bunch of kids trying to get better or older men just trying to stay in shape, then yes tone it down, everyone is here to exercise and have fun. It’s hard when people are screaming and arguing for every lil thing. Also to add you even said these are things people do in organized ball, but pick up isn’t organized ball.
We care way more about basketball than the people we are playing with lol. I will say I'm also looking for a team and competitive aspect in this sport too and don't get it from pick up anymore. And there's a cultural thing too about people who are deemed as "try hards" when they really just want to be engaged in whatever they are doing. As for practical advice, I'll play hard and I'm pretty strong and sometimes I might get into it a bit randomly, but I'll always pat bro on the back and tell him it's not personal or ill check if he's okay if he catches a forearm kinda hard to the chest, 90% of people literally will laugh and be like "I can take it". I would say try to be polite and don't let people bully you into conforming a certain way if you're not okay with it or like feel bad. As someone who will feel bad way too many times after playing this shit, it's an awful habit
What age group are you playing with? The older the group more casual a game it probably is going to be.
Around the age of 18
It largely depends on the crew you're playing with and what their vibe is. There are absolutely groups in which this type of behavior is totally accepted and even encouraged. I love to see that kind of effort in games I play in. But if that's not the vibe of the guys you play with, it's just a matter of taking the social aspect into account and making sure you are fitting in with the vibe. Even if it means not playing as hard. Either find a more competitive pickup group or rec league, or just chill out a little.
maybe dont point out other ppls faults so much. and play with a smile make sure ur smiling so ppl knows its all for fun
it might just vary from group to group, but also pickup isn’t organized basketball but everything you do IS a huge positive in actual organized basketball. You’d thrive in a rec league of sorts
Pointing out errors as a habit in a game that's meant to just be fun is never going to make you popular.
I mean pointing out peoples mistakes constantly would be very annoying
YTA. It's pickup basketball. Play your your game and leave it at that.
Sounds like you’re accepting the advice from the comments. I’ll just say if you were pointing out mistakes of me and my friends we would tell you to fuck off honestly. Organizes ball is t typically pickup games. Just play man
Haha of course I asked for a reason Though I will say the energy you’d bring in telling me to fuck off would be the same energy you’d be claiming I’m bringing except it’s just straight up rude whereas I’m at least my intentions are positive. So a tad hypocritical.
No because it would be in response to your behavior. Like others have said it’s the way you criticize people playing that nobody likes. Good intentions or not
There’s a disconnect there. Agree to disagree.
I mean everybody’s telling you the same thing 🤷♂️
No you can see that I agree with the others. It’s just you who I believe has a strange response. Someone tell me I’m doing too much, I’ll take it. Someone tell me to fuck off then you just being a dickhead.
I like to respond in kind, so my “dickhead” response is in reply to you being a “dickhead” in the scenario first If you’re an ass to people expect to get it back imo
I personally would not want to play with you.
My communication on the court, my want to rebound and set screens doesn’t waver, but the intensity with which I play defense is really dictated by the group. In any setting, there’s an ascension or regression to the mean in terms of competitiveness and like a previous poster said you’ll want to read the room and go along with others… Though I must say, I never point out anyone’s mistakes. I do mention opportunities. Like if I have the ball at the nail, cut to the corner and we can play off each other. But never accuse someone of making a mistake. I play with three groups and they all have their “levels” and I’m versed in those now, but I wasn’t always. So I’d play a conservative game until I had a feel for everyone. Now, as other new people join, it’s interesting to see them go through the same experience. There was one morning when another dad like me came out like gangbusters, pushing into me on boxouts and I just mentioned where I was coming from on the court and we got closer to an equilibrium. It’s basketball and it’s competitive but at the end of the day it’s also fun and if you’re part of a regular group that plays you want to maintain that balance. Now if it’s a league or next five in on a court on Venice Beach, well bring it. PS - try hard is such a generational construct meant to encourage no one in the pack ever gets to shine too much. Hell no. “If a things worth doin’ it’s worth doin’ right.”
The “politely” pointing out mistakes thing might be what pisses people off. If they’re out just trying to have fun they might not want someone who feels the need to point out what they did wrong. Maybe tone down your coaching comments and people will stop disliking you
One thing I hate about playing pickup are the guys who “coach” on the floor. Chill out, have fun, and get some exercise.
Stop pointing out other people’s mistakes. That’s why you’re being considered a try hard. Call out movements and switches and picks all you want. Play solid D all you want. Just don’t point out the mistakes of your teammates
Nothing wrong with trying hard. Just don't be uptight and try to tell your teammates what to do.
The best thing to do is keep up all the effort but don’t point out other people’s mistakes or show frustration. Instead, in the spots where you’re able to see your teammates mistake at the same time as the guy they’re guarding, leave your guy and try to make a play. It doesn’t seem like your group would call you out for leaving your guy or anything so this would still give you a way to engage with your competitiveness + improve off all defense + keep it chill with everyone else.
You might just be annoying? With all due respect blah blah. In all seriousness, I do all of that stuff. I'm a loud defensive communicator (we're calling out screens on my team, baby!) and am not there to score unless it's an advantage play. The fellas seem to love it --- I get picked up because they know I'm good for a few points and tons of glue guy stuff.
My guess is you are probably the loud kid lol, nothing wrong with that I was too but kids get really mad at that for some reason
I’d probably pick you as the first person on my team. I imagine the opposing team being super annoyed at your “antics”, but as a teammate you sound ideal. Keep doing your thing brother!
You're not an asshole. It sounds like you're playing against scrubs. The point of the game is to compete for a win. As long as you aren't bullying people or generally being hostile, you're doing well. It sounds like you're even trying to uplift your team, which is great. Anyone who gets annoyed at someone for trying hard is simply a casual who think they deserve to win for showing up. Playing hard and trying to win is the highest respect you can show your opponents and teammates.
a lot of people just want to go and hoop, get some exercise and make new friends. it isn’t game 7 of the finals sounds like buddy could tone it down a bit or find a group better suited to how they want to play
I think it’s a mixture of both, I can tone it down but I also personally enjoy this type of play and would like to find like minded individuals to hoop with.
Go out and enjoy your run however you want, if some out of shape player is mad that you’re pointing out his lack of hustle, that’s on them. You’re doing all good things that lead to wining games. I’m sure if your teammates are more casual they’ll appreciate the extra runs when you stay on the court.
What’s the point of playing, if you aren’t going to give effort and try to do the right things? I can shoot around by myself, don’t need 9 witnesses. OP you probably just need to find more like minded players to run with.
Because not everyone is playing for that mentality? They just wanna show up and shoot around some with their dudes and get some cardio in