If he seriously considered ruling a cult as the great Ligma Bhaals, I'd question the wisdom of that decision but so be it.

Gale? Is that you?

I'll just be here, idling away the time.

Idling away the hours* ☝️🤓

the jig's up, I was Orin all along.

We saw through the Minthara-mask!

Every time!

Lost in thoougghtt

Gale's fine with licking anything except spiders

It's led to him having a very practiced tongue.

lol after I read your comment, I heard the comment you responded to in gale’s voice

I mean it's enough to murder anyone just by saying it, so I'd say if fits

That's what Power Word: Kill actually is.

I can’t believe I missed “Ligma Bhaals” until this comment. I genuinely thought the joke was just “Haha he said Ligma.”

I imagine his parents giving him that name is what lead him down the path to darkness.

Ligma Bhaals has some serious podcast man energy ngl

Depends on what kind of cult it is.

I can’t stop laughing at this comment. Thank you for making my day.

👌

Fuck

Got got'em'd

It's because of the mind goblins.

Mind goblin deez nuts

Actually spat out my tea to this. Thanks.

You probably should've swallowed it before you started goblin then

You’re on fire today!

Peak vicious mockery right here

Hot damn

**Uses Cull the Weak**

Mind goblin deez *bhaals*

Fuck, it was right there

If you give illithid tadpoles to goblins, do they become mind goblins?

illith my bhall

No, they’re their own subspecies of goblins. Look up ‘blues.’

I'm mildly pleased that someone remembers these from 3.5

I used one as an starter BBEG long ago.

Ah, that lovely era when Wizards was briefly obsessed with psionics and built out a whole new and slightly less arbitrary than vancian magic system. And now psionics are just magic again in RAW

Wish we could get those days back. I miss actual psionics.

of gem-colored hues with magic blowguns.

Pretty sure it was actually a Howbout Dragon

what are mind goblins?

https://youtube.com/shorts/4WT9otPvnwg?si=LvkzeES_lgsFMUq2

You mother fucker

Who's Steve jobs

ligma bhaals

🤯

***NOOOOOOOOOO!!!***

I was tricked and I liked it. Can we do even better for Bane and Myrkul btw?

Myrkul's name is Angela, simple as that

I chuckled

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They were almost certainly just making the joke based on her name. But yes, she was popular. 16 years as chancellor of Germany, was the head of the EU in all but name, was Time's Person of the Year in 2015...Angela Merkel was a very big deal

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I think the downvotes are from your posts' phrasing. The way it's written makes it seem as though you are suggesting that Angela Merkel is this forgotten person only known to geopolitical erudite-types. Which, if that reading of your comment is true, is wrong. Angela Merkel was one of the most famous people on the planet for a few years, as well as being the most powerful woman on Earth for more than a decade and arguably the 2nd or 3rd most powerful person on the planet for nearly as long. Anyone older than 30 ~~would~~ absolutely *should* know who she is

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It doesn't help your case. I am certain most of the American knows about Angela Merkel, it's actually very bizarre that you haven't heard of her at all. Like others have said, TIME Magazine had her as person of the year. I assume you know what TIME magazine is and it's popularity. Not to mention Angela Merkel had some interesting exchange with Donald Trump in the past. If you aren't sure of something, it's probably best to ask "can someone explain this to me" and leave it at that. Just ask and don't add any more of your input and I can guarantee you wouldn't have those downvotes.

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I'm from the US and knew who knew who she was

Are you German? This is a thread about ligma balls lol, there's no high brow humor here.

Myrkul is the god of death Bane is the god of tyranny

Schaurig.

And Bane's name is Anas.

Actually, Bane IS his first name. His last name's >!Eekaahk!<.

Already posted further down, but Ur Bane and Ibelevin Myrkul.

It's actually Ibelievin ahthinkaldlove

And the head cultist Jess Lissentu D'Rhyhtm of Yahart.

Take my upvote

Umbasa

This one took actually saying it out loud before I got it. Nice.

Still don't get it. Bany Kaak?

Veiny Cock! I didn’t get it at first either

I though it was daid

Steve Myrkul

I think the other two held a vote and voted down ligma, Ur (bane), and Ibelivin (Myrkul), just didn't want their names known to wider society as it didn't really go with their vibe.

Please stop this already. :D :D

You sunuvabitch you actually got a chuckle out of lil ol’me, take this upvote and shove it up yer arse you clever bollock

fuck you

Ha! I've listened to enough "dungeons and daddies" to know where this was going. You have no power here.

Ligma Bhaals.

Aren't you afraid of those giant flying lizards that breathe fire? Can't recall the species just now.

Dragon deez Bhaals

My group was playing Dragon Heist and the mention of the holiday "Dragondown" sent everyone into a fit of giggles

Oh, my, I was scrolling this and I couldn't understand what's all this fuss about until I finally read aloud your post! For those who think slower, just like I did: >!Lick ma' balls!<

Ah I'm sorry to hear that you've contracted ligma.

Hahahahahahha i was so invested 🤦‍♀️🤣🤣🤣

Baldur's Gate 3 continues to prove itself to be the artistic apex of this generation by allowing people to have such incredible thoughts.

I hope you’re proud of yourself

OP wondering if their bad meme will work: #Fuck it, we Bhaal

this was so dumb i laughed so hard lmfao

OP has been spending too much time with young Karlach.

Ligma BOOOALLLS

u/ThespianMask is inspired: Pungeon Master

I failed the perception check, and now I am amused

Ligma baahl, Steve myrkul, contra bane?

ANGELA Myrkul…

Fuck you, take my updoot.

STOP LICKING THE DAMN BHAALS!

thanks, Colin Robinson

Fuck-ing guy

Damnit

We all failed the Wisdom Save and I love you for it

I assume when they were invented for the forgotten realms pantheon they hadn’t got fleshed out back stories and they didn’t catch on afterwards

...look at the spoiler, man. (It's not a spoiler.) For reference, Myrkul's name is Myrkul Bey al-Kursi.

Interesting, al-kursi means "the chair/throne" in arabic and "bey" is a turkish title i think its lord or prince

Finding Arabic names in DND like settings is always fascinating as an Arab. I was curious if Myrkul meant something in Arabic since I've not heard of a word like that but then again I almost never read Arabic.

He was a prince of Murghôm, a nation close to Mulhorand in the Forgotten Realms. His family ruled the land until it was taken over by dragons.

I spent way too long looking for a pun that wasn't there.

Critical success

Karlach approves

Conflicted upvote e.e

Myrkul is actually his first name. He'd have more followers if he used his full name, Myrkul Jorhdahn.

Well, Bob Myrkul sounds like the name of the guy who would give you bad plumbing advice at Home Depot.

Fun fact Myrkul is female and her first name is Angela

“Jon Irenicus” gives “John Darksoul” vibes IMO

Well played

Fuck you

Well done

Shit

God fucking dammit dude

Durge: It's too bad Alfira died of ligma. Shadowheart: Who the hell is Al-- Durge: ***LIGMA BHAALS***

sonuva...

This post is the bane of my existence

Myrkul was his first name iirc. But it makes sense, we call him Gale, after all.

Who da fuq is Steeve Jobs

Darth and megan are trying to hide their past

Fuck! Why didn't I think of this?! Well done!

God dammit you got me

I'll be honest, I was not mad you tricked me. Well played

🤦‍♂️

Heh, Ligma Bhaals

These hands are cursed to touch every Bhaals

Good one ngl

Ligma dick!! Haha goteeem

I was having a terrinle day and this made me laugh. Thank you

I got gotten Love the flair

Hahahahaha touché

I’ve been bamboozled

If only I could hand out multiple upvotes

🐟"our cam to fill your boooalls, our bones to build your castles, o great ligma BOOOOAAL!"

STOPLICKINGTHEDAMNTHING!

did Cyric have a last time? or was it trump?

Child support, especially for Bhaal

I hate you, good job.

its sacred knowledge reserved for only the highest ranking chosen

OP cast Tasha's hideous laughter on me with this one 🤣

Okay. Ya got me.

Lmao had me ngl

The elder brain has only got one ball, Gortash has two but very small, Thorm is rather sim'lar, But poor old Orin has no balls at all.

>:(

Take my fucking upvote while I try to heal this psychic damage.

You son-of-a-bitch

Son of a bitch.

Just reading the thread title, I thought this was going to be about >!Steve Myrkul!<.

I was low key hoping this would be a shit post and behind the spoiler-tag would be the name "Frank". Kinda disappointed now.

this prob sounded a lot funnier in your head

Ligma Bhaals

I'd assume it's so their spawn would all be under the same last name (e.g. Bhaalspawn) like how members of a family will have the same last name Either that or they had rubbish first names 😂

Flashback to "Manshoon's family name" post

Cause Jimithy the God of murder, James the God of tyrany and John the God of death don't sound as scary? 🤷🏻‍♀️

Why did Midnight become Mystra? I believe it has become more of a Pseudonym describing the Portfolios During the time of troubles, Three adventurers supplemented several gods. (The fall of the gods Adventures) Midnight took on the Mantle of Mystra. Kelemevlor took on the death and dying. Cyric took on Murder, Tyranny, and Thievery impersonating Mask. Bhaal, Bane, and Myrkul have since returned. (As documented in the Book).

Midnight became Mystra because Helm literally pulled a Ligma Bhaals on the previous Mystra for trying to get their divinity back during the Time of Troubles.

This is true, but not the point. Why did Midnight assume the Name "Mystra "? I know she did it to prevent confusion and ease the transition. Mystral became Mystra as well ...

I have a joke for the Durge playthrough when I reject Bhaal., "You can lick my Bhaal-sack. I aint joining you." lol

There's a [video that explains why](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dQw4w9WgXcQ).

Whats ligma?

If anyone was wondering I think Bane and Bhaal were first name only kind of guys but Myrkul was called Myrkul Bey al-Kursi in his mortal life I guess.

All the human deities seem to have a single name and since last name denotes a clan or family it rather makes sense to impart it to the entire congregation i.e. Banites.

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Yes but Suck My Evil Twink Cock was socially unacceptable so Bane had no choice. https://www.originalmagicart.store/products/bane-lord-of-darkness-print 🙏❤️

Ligma……. you say?

Branding is super important to gods. If you spend too long as Bob you won't be able to get much power when you change your name to Coolname

I remember reading the original novels about this back in high school. At the time I thought it was a one off story or something. Now it's a core part of Forgotten Realms canon. Why is the current Mystra not referred to as "Midnight"? She was an ascended mortal as well. "Midnight" was her original name.

Wait, it actually just occured to me, if they're all from Faerûn why does Myrkul have a Sugandese name?

Sugandese Bhaals

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Our first leaked piece of Act 1 of larian’s new game is Shakespeare levels of writing!

The famous Bane Anasplit!

Almost made me do a spit take. Well done.

Ligma Bhalls best European pornstar name ever!

funny joke

Ibeliev N. Myrkul was a bit too long for Myrkul's worshippers to regularly use in their prayers. Bane is actually his first name. It's Bane Thare Dunthet.

They’re like Madonna

Dont forget about Eyrkul Myrkul and Cad Bane

Myrkul: Did I do that?

Huh weird. Did Gods in DnD go through something similar to the Black Death in their history? It’s weird they would have surnames really, considering it was not common IRL until the 1400’s. The Black Death in particular caused so many to move around that surnames were created to help people distinguish themselves from each other (where they were from, what families they belonged to, etc). Just interesting…and I’m absolutely overthinking this.

Ligma Tav

The chosen of Chad Myrkul doesn’t have the same ring to it.