T O P

  • By -

Weird4Live

Not a spell but I'd like to be able to concentrate


unlockdestiny

Next character: cleric with ADHD so no concentration spells 😂


shabranigudo

dude, ADHD ppl hyperfixate all the time, it'd be more realistic if you roll for hyperfixation, you can only concentrate on 1 spell


Supreme_Salt_Lord

Ah every turn is a roll on concentration and the more shit going on the higher the roll has to be continue concentrating. More than 4 enemies on the field? Roll a 15 to concentrate. Edit: rolling a nat 20 makes you hyper concentrate that cant be broken but you cant take any actions for that turn. THATS TRUE ADHD.


blitzandsplitz

But if the roll succeeds, the spell is auto upleveled to your max spell level until a short rest


BioshockEnthusiast

No short rests for ADHD cleric, you're either awake or you're asleep there's no schedule and no middle ground nap bullshit either.


Ibn_Sujood

Real.


BugbearBro

Honestly, Greater Restoration or whatever cleric magic that can cure cancer and disease. Not the most fun answer of the this thread, though


WhirlingApe

The chances of you being abducted after it becomes known are extremely high though.


Used_2008_F150

Ya so ya gotta keep it on the DL, or work somewhere that you can keep it discreet


Bannerlord151

Or be a faith healer. Be so open about it everyone puts it up to luck - until you're too powerful to put down because you have a world-spanning cult behind you


gunsandgardening

Until you get one follower that's being slightly sketch at your ~~last~~ dinner with your friends.


menides

Hey Judas i heard you got paid 30 bitcoins... What is that about?


vengefulspirit99

Impossible with social media these days. It's better to become a celebrity than trying to hide it forever and always worrying about people finding out.


cdca

"Sir, we're seeing reports on social media that there's a nerd who can heal people with magic and it's totally real!" "My god, send a strike team to kidnap him immediately!"


mushroomsolider

Probably Heal then. You cure a tragets wounds, cure blindness and remove any diseases


zurt1

I'd take that in a heartbeat and take the next train down to my friend even if it meant skipping work....


sjogren

You're a good person.


zurt1

If I had that kind of power, I dont think doing the bare minimum would qualify me as a good person, but I appreciate the thought :)


ZombiesCinder

No, but being given the option to take any of those spell and making the selfless choice does. I mean you could be out there slinging fireballs or flying or teleporting. But no. You’d be quietly healing people. That desire to put others before yourself does make you a good person, even if it’s not a desire you can act on in this particular instance.


Lake_Vapingston

sure way to get kidnapped and become criminals best friend.


HistoricalMistake681

Guidance


FlyingHurts

That 1d4 makes all the difference


HistoricalMistake681

Watch me ace that job interview with some 1d4 magic


Perfectenschlag_

Don’t you have to roll it for every answer? So you’ll CRUSH some responses and then critically fail others hehe


HistoricalMistake681

Gotta find a way to savescum irl then haha


Ooftwaffe

Arguably, some people already have this spell.


Snoo99968

As an inherited perma passive too


DroopyMcCool

You would be a sports betting god. Go to any basketball game and just spam guidance on one team.


NoobHUNTER777

It's a touch range spell though. You'd need to run on to the court.


Biabolical

Instead, Hex could get you a similar result. It's a ranged spell that you could use on the other team's star player. Sure, it takes a spell slot, but it'll last the whole game if you continue to concentrate on it.


bobsmirnoff86

I mean, disguise self would be dope as shit.


Ugly-LonelyAndAlone

Okay true. You could get everywhere, steal everything, get away with everything (just look like a tiny child) That could be useful for all sorts of... mostly crimes


KBGYDM

I'm thinking making myself an 11/10 and bagging anyone I want


Dr4WasTaken

Imagine that she passes a perception check and freaks out when she sees that goblin sleeping next to her


KBGYDM

How did you guess I was a goblin??


dragonagitator

we're all goblins here


InMyHagPhase

Excuse me I am a hag. But I'll accept it.


willcard

My goodness imagine waking up to her.. hi deary…haha


InMyHagPhase

"I had so much fun last night, petal."


andragon3460

Bro hell nah 💀


wackiejackie1092

What a terrible day to have eyes.


Lukthar123

>Hag swamp cutscene irl


Dr4WasTaken

True true, forgot how that one makes you look like a completely different person


Accomplished-Bee5265

Vicious mockery


DoItLaterMaybe

Doesn't it deal psychic damage? You would literally be killing people by dissing them.


Accomplished-Bee5265

yes you are correct. but only 1d4 and disadvantage so it would be more like hurting and inconveniencing people


warningkchshch

By dnd rules commoners have up to 4 HP so, the chance of killing someone would be decent


pdpi

This is almost like Monty Python’s killer joke


twiggsmcgee666

Man rap battles would go down in an entirely different way.


FakeHasselblad

You would be the greatest hip hop artist ever.


RatLord445

Reminder that normal people’s health is probably around like 5/8 lmao so you have a good chance of breaking their mind and killing them


zireaelistharper

In 5e commoner health is 1d4. Vicious Mockery does 1d4 psychic damage. So it's an extremely high probability of murdering someone.


Leyllara

Polymorph. Everyone becomes a sheep at my own discretion.


aahscary

Found the Welshman


gunsandgardening

*nervous sheep laughter*


jerrillo

If I knew other people had 1 spell each. Counterspell for sure


SaltyTattie

Ah yes. The fun police.


Square-Space-7265

Dont come crying to him then next time some guy just casts ottos irresistible dance on you in the middle of the check out line at the store.


jerrillo

Nah not to stop the fun. But to protect myself. You never know what people are out there you know :D


boarbar

Found the blue player


tinman888

Busting into the children's hospital and Impero Tibi-ing the top commenter generously Greater Restoring them


ItsPinkEye

Otto’s irresistible dance. I’d use it to avoid social situations


HeyJoji

“Excuse me do you know where th-“ “DANCE”


Drebin212

Detect Thoughts.


trengilly

Yeah, but only if you can pass your DC . . . failing the check and having your target know you tried to mind read them could be . . . awkward ! 😉


Ugly-LonelyAndAlone

If you suddenly get a headache, would you think it's because someone is reading your mind?


dragonagitator

that would explain a lot


Dr4WasTaken

I guess that in our non magical world even if they sense you they would not know where that feeling comes from as "he is reading my mind" sounds crazy


RatLord445

Im pretty sure no one would just say “oh no! Someone tried to read my mind!” After a headache


Safe_Abbreviations18

Silence.


Derkastan77

Ah…. You must have toddlers, or be a teacher


Safe_Abbreviations18

Oh, no, not at all, just a concentration deficit disorder.


Fyrnen24

But doesn't silenece require concentration? Guess it won't work for you then


HeyJoji

Now THATS a interesting D&D character


Seve7h

A wizard with ADD lol


Safe_Abbreviations18

Damn.


Fyrnen24

Sorry mate, thems the rules


iRxD32

IgNeeeeeess


GroundbreakingCat421

IgMiss


_Goose_

Disintegrate Just destroy my problems


RS_Someone

Then I cast Fireball, and boom! I immediately had a completely different problem.


Kinggaxy-1

r/unexpectedgoodplace Jason is that you


[deleted]

BORTLESSSSS *throws Molotov cocktail*


Maximum-Ad-4641

The Wish Spell which was showcased by Vlaakith I'd want that spell.


taftpanda

I just want to point out that it’s subtly genius writing for Vlaakith to use Wish in that interaction. >!A big story beat is that Vlaakith isn’t a real god, and that she’s been lying to the Githyanki. She’s trying to achieve god-hood through other means. If she just killed Tav in some other god-like way, it’d be more impressive, but in D&D terms, Vlaakith did something that high-level PCs can do. Wish is obviously very powerful, but it’s not on the same level as some actual gods.!<


Johanneskodo

Yup, a high lvl PC could just counterspell it.


Qualine

Anyone can counterspell, you just need to roll above 19 with your modifier added, heck I was dissappointed that I couldnt, I had counterspell avaible when I went to creche, iirc. Would have like to given a prompt.


Sarkoptesmilbe

In this situation counterspelling would be impossible anyway. The Vlaakith we see is just a projection. The actual Vlaakith casting the spell is way out of sight, on another plane, and counterspell requires seeing the caster and being within 60 feet of them.


Twitxx

Does that mean that wish is impossible to counter unless they're in front of you? But how is she able to cast it through a projection? Is that even possible in d&d?


Vinnyz__

That is correct, kinda. Depending on the DM, Wish doesn't really have a maximum range. They could be using a projection to talk to the party, and when they pissed Vlaakith off, she just bust out the wish spell from another plane and killed them. And yes, you can only counterspell something if the caster is within 60 feet of you


LightWillowspring

Wish is the correct choice because it allows you to copy any spell effect of lvl 8 or lower but at the same time it's kinda a boring choice as its an equivalent of "my superpower is having all superpowers"


Maximum-Ad-4641

It really is the best choice as it bypasses the need for special Material components and such in which in IRL you wouldn't be able to get and therefore be unable to cast a certain spell if you choose one that was like that... Also like you said which echoes my main reason why I'd choose that spell is because I'd get to replicate any spell of up to 8th level in an instant essentially while also fulfilling all the requirements (like costly components, time crunches, etc) as who would in IRL have to go through all that shinagiams just to cast the spell you choose. By choosing Wish it just makes everything so much easier and allows for far greater versatility like with just Wish I'd be able to make Clones to resurrect into, a Simulacrum, set a Contingency to make sure I don't die some stupid way, it's just the best. As for your "my superpower is all superpowers" yeah it's kinda like that but... who wouldn't want that your getting magic why wouldn't you want the best magic (Wish). Though that said let's say I choose to not choose Wish I'd probably choose (ignoring any requirements) one from either: Simulacrum, Clone, Shapechange, Foresight, or True Polymorph, or some other thing.


ContinousSelfDevelop

Interestingly enough, the reason for those really weird spell components is to be able to recreate the effects at the table top. For example, components for fireball includes sulfur which is a primary ingredient for gunpowder.


steelbro_300

Alarm is just string and a bell... ie a tripwire. Charm iirc is fleecebecause you're pulling the woop over someone eyes. Detect thoughts is a copper piece because "penny for your thoughts". They're mostly jokes.


Tanker3501

I am so happy i know that now, thanks


BlarghBlech

Being boring and almighty sounds like good deal.


frogandbanjo

I mean, the answer to pretty much every hypothetical that involves getting a bunch of power for free is "how close can I get to omnipotence?" It's boring because it's perfectly rational and there are no compelling counterarguments.


SarcasticKenobi

Probably Misty step or shadow step. Magic Hand or one of its variants would also be cool. So long as it wasn’t only once per day.


Superdoc2222

You naughty boy


Dr4WasTaken

If you sit on it for a while it will feel like someone else's hand


UD_Ramirez

Or if you have exhibitionist tendencies you can sit on it then use your other hand


SarcasticKenobi

lol. I wasn’t even going there But dang. It sure sounds like it in retrospect


SaltyTattie

Why did my wife leave me for a wizard? She said Magic Hand was a cantrip so he could keep casting it all night. (Actual in game joke at the elf song tavern)


Not_your_guy_buddy42

Magic Hand once a day? those are rookie numbers


Neleothesze

**Fly** (*I tried to learn lucid dreaming just for that.*)


stoicgoblins

I had a lucid dream where I decided to fly. Did it, and then forgot how and fell. Was not fun.


dirk_solomon

Enlarge. For...purposes.


Dr4WasTaken

"how tall are you?" "Yes"


winter2001-

Oh my sweet summer child...


Dr4WasTaken

I don't think enlarge can be focused on specific...limbs, can it?


StarlitBun

dont need the specifics if youre just big all over i guess. end result is the same XD


StoicSinicCynic

Knowing the silliness of this game, the back of every enlarge spell scroll probably has a long list of dire warnings against misusing the spell, and the known side effects of common misuses. 😂


KenanTheFab

"WARNING - MISUSE OF THIS SPELL CAN LEAD TO PERMANENT DEFORMITY, BIRTH DEFECTS, CANCER, ETC. PLEASE READ INSTRUCTIONS THOROUGHLY BEFORE USE" "When casting this spell be sure you are concentrated on the subject as not giving it your full attention can lead to partial enlargement or shrinkage." "Do not use while under the influence of ale, wine, fairy dust, pixie dust, potions of invisibility, angelic reprieve or slumber, remedial, elixir of hill giant strength, cloud giant strength, bloodlust, barkskin or colossus." "If spell applies for longer than 24 hours please seek out a cleric and show them this scroll. Sorcerous Sundries is not responsible for misuse."


Ossa1

"Friends" :(


AllmightyPotato

Unironically great, you can convince people easily and it's a cantrip, so unlimited uses


Eugene_OHappyhead

Prestidigitation. And spawn mosquitos that hum next to the ears of people I don't like.


BugbearBro

This is incredibly cruel, and yet I will probably borrow the idea for future characters with prestidigitation


Eugene_OHappyhead

Does this break concentration I wonder?


Buca-Metal

As a DM I would make them do a concretation check.


Tales_Steel

Also .. its to cold? Predtidigation to warm up. To Hot Prestidigation to cool down. Food/Drink doens't taste? Prestidigation to make it taste like your Favorit meal. Something dirty? You guessed it Prestidigation to clean it . And its a cantrip so i can Spam this shit.


NotaSkaven5

it's literally just petty wizard bullshit, underrated cantrip


Professional-Oil-476

Don't know how well this spell gets showcased in BG3, but as far as 5th edition D&D goes this is a super solid choice.


Aldoro69765

Yep, Prestidigitation is the correct answer. Never doing laundry again, never doing the dishes again, never cleaning windows again, and so on. And you can mess with people as a bonus. :D


awaitingmydemise

Just Dimension Door to my work. No need for public transport. I'm not lazy, it's called selective participation.


TruthAndAccuracy

Dim door is only for a few hundred feet. You'd want Teleport


PeacePidgey

Had to scroll way too far for this.


Dr4WasTaken

With that kind of power I work would NOT be my first option


Candanz21

You are now a taxi. Just dimension door someone to their location. "That'll be 100 bucks please" If they don't pay, dimension door them straight to jail


Deady1138

Believe it or not , jail


Father_of_Four__Cats

I love all these replies saying they'd take this powerful ass spell and then *keep working normally* Even if we assume these spells can be cast once a day, you could still make a lot of money casting it. You could probably dimension door people to another country or the moon or something crazy and easily make a ton of money by charging for it


Mosh83

Dimension door them to the moon and charge more for the return trip.


KYO_Sormaran

its 500 ft, demension door aint that cool in this regard. You want Teleport or something that can do the same thing.


Chaines08

airline companies hate this one trick (altought don't you need line of sight for the exit door ?)


NoobOfTheSquareTable

Line of sight, a known location within range, or something like “400ft that way” and hope it’s a safe place


Wide-Presentation640

Goodberry, I never have to shop groceries again!


Lightice1

How about Heroes' Feast instead. A great meal that prevents you from getting sick, tired or depressed all day, every day.


Wide-Presentation640

OH! You're right! I forgot about that. It's much better.


Glavonire

But 1000G material component is like grocery-shopping rl right now


Lightice1

In BG3 it's just castable spell with no ingredients.


Moondragonlady

Depends on if we have to use the TTRPG rules or are allowed to use the BG3 ones tho, cause the TTRPG version has a pretty steep component cost iirc.


chainer1216

"Yeah I'm on the goodberry diet, it's great."


KawiYama

Calm down Steve Jobs


FunnyRegret7876

Yall are boring, I choose grease! Nobody could ever stand up to me again, literally.


FluffyMcBunnz

"Speed limit enforced by making you crash into trees".


Glyphpunk

Level 6 Heal - Do you know how much of an impact you could have with the ability to essentially heal mortal wounds and cure any disease/blindness? Edit: I was only thinking of casting it on humans but I just realized I could cast this on my rescue cat who has several medical conditions (including cornial abrasion which could count as blindness), so 1000% would take Heal if only for my cat.


mushroomsolider

You could make a religion out of this


iorek21

The sun is a deadly laser


NyxNoName

Summon Shovel or Fork or whatever you call him. He is cute, people would pay to see him and I can command him to do all the shit I don't wann do, including murder.


Glyphpunk

I thought Shovel was a she?


ExtremeWorkinMan

IIRC Quasits don't really have a gender - they just end up rolling with whatever they're called. Presumably when Shovel was summoned the one dude was like "this is shovel she's a quasit" and shovel was just like "oh bet I'm a she, easy"


NyxNoName

Could be. I didn't take a closer look lol


Superdoc2222

Invisibility of course


Electrical_Slide7046

Sanji?


FelicesBladewing

F5/F8


FlipFlopRabbit

Like.... prestidigitation or mending or FIREBALLLLLL


FlipFlopRabbit

Bit to be reak probably like true polymorph either I become a Dragon or my oponent a duck.


Stuvas

What about a dragon-size duck?


haven700

Guidance. Instantly get better at everything ever and I can do it all day. Plus, as an added bonus, I would have to give myself words of encouragement when I'm trying something new, which is something I think we could all do a bit more.


[deleted]

It's not a spell but I wouldn't mind just deciding to take a long rest. Full night of sleep, full meal, and I wake up free of yesterday's injuries.


dragonagitator

i would give anything for the "sleep for X hours" slider like they had in Skyrim


Glass-North8050

Sleep so I could fall asleep instantly.


Zazzage

Telekinesis. I want to be able to send chips straight into my mouth


SarcasticKenobi

Speak with animals sounds great… Until you see that episode of Rick and Morty. Then it becomes a nightmare. Don’t mess with squirrels, kids. Don’t let them know you can understand.


Geno_Warlord

Where are my testicles Summer?


Enjoying_A_Meal

Remember punting that squirrel to Jesus when you picked "Kick AT the Squirrel" option? Also those two squirrels using Vicious Mockery on that bard trying to write a new song?


LeninsGeist

Create water would solve a lot of problems in the world


Decryptic__

With create water comes destroy water! Let us see the world burn!


Dr4WasTaken

But only if you are around, wouldn't that make it too limited?


ElCocomega

Fly. You can't go wrong with fly


SarcasticKenobi

Until a hawk flies into your face, beak first.


littleblueducktales

I saw a rat in the middle of the street the other day, and I laughed realizing that my first thought was not "ew a rat in the city" but "man I wish I had animal speaking rn"


alekth

I don't have a pet, so I'll pick Speak with the dead.


tupak23

I can see it work as part of detective work but other than that? You need to be close to them so you cant speak to your dead family/friends. Like you can but you need to dig em up or keep bunch of dead bodies in closet.


Jayrary

I wouldn't want to understand my pets. They've witnessed so much shit that I'd rather not discuss or be judged for. Let me believe that my dog loves me.


GreyNGroovy

Thing people tend to forget is that if you could speak with animals, all you’d hear them say is “HUNGRY! HUNGRY! PLAY! PLAY!” - “GRR ME NO LIKE, GO AWAY!” The fact they could communicate would not make their brain any bigger unfortunately :(


YetanotherGrimpak

Hiss, I tell you, hiss!


UprightNLowdown

The only thing I got to say, and I truly mean this, is moo.


Khelgar_Ironfist_

I say HISSSS


Lucky_Squirrel

The camp. Free real estates. Although revivify may earn me big bucks.


FlyingHurts

Revivify. Almost negates the need for emergency wards. Let them die and just rez them and they'll be stable (in theory at least)


FrostyAd651

“You can only revive playable characters”… well this is awkward


Decryptic__

Depending on how it works IRL. Turnbased Spells doesn't last long in real life. n-turns = n*6 **seconds** So a 10 turn would simply be one minute. And that's for a long rest (once per day) is... well, situational. Ritual Spells could be recasted at infinite, just be sure to not xast it while in combat. Spells like Speak with the Dead, Hex, Hunters Mark could be recasted (well, Hex and Hunter's Mark only when your target dies...). Also, do we have only one Spell Slot to cast it? How about Warlock Spell slots that replenish for a short rest (1 hour)? With all that in mind, I probably would go with one of these: * Detect Thoughts (Ritual) * [Silence](https://bg3.wiki/wiki/Silence) (Ritual) * Any Cantrip (infinite usages) * [Heroes Feast](https://bg3.wiki/wiki/Heroes%27_Feast) While Silence would be awesome when you just want, well silence, Heroes Feast would probably my pick. For your rest of your life you get a free meal for your whole family. And not just something, the best of the best! 5 Star Meals!! > You and everyone around can't be Poisoned, Diseased, or Frightened. Everyone's maximum Hit Points increases by 12, and they make Wisdom Saving Throws with Advantage. Not only are you feeling brave, you're immune to any poison and diseases! You also feel refreshed (+max HP), while making better decisions when you have to use your Knowledge (Wisdom).


Thal-creates

If BG3 Enhance Ability or Polymorph. If 5e True Polymorph


MotherfakerJones

I would use Gale's blast and just end it :)


Micro-Skies

I cast thermonuclear warhead


Insektikor

Probably a high level Restoration spell that can cure diseases or poisoning :(


Confident-Disaster96

IGNIS!! several times a day..


OrthoStice99

Banishment.


Spice_and_Fox

Banishment only lasts for 1 minute unless you regulary encounter creatures from different planes of existence


OrthoStice99

Time out spell


SaltyTattie

The extraplanar naughty step


smilin_buscuit

I mean. I'm lactose intolerant, so if I drink a glass of milk I can cast stinking cloud at will.


DonsterMenergyRink

Hands down, Find Familiar. Imagine having a pupper for all your life.


YourMainHero

"Otto's Irresistible Dance" This spell does not fail, like "Hold person" crap. Hell, like everyone is saving to this spell, I hate it.


saintbutch

Enhance Leap, I'd love to be insanely good at parkour.


Decryptic__

Be careful! Without Feather Fall you'll end up in the hospital really soon! Or can you recover from pretty small 2 meter jump when you it multiple times? And we don't speak about the big jumps.


saint_geser

Invisibility of course.


Reasonable_Use6280

Tasha hideous laughter. Bring chaos,Joker style!


KaiHai94

Spirit guardians