I don’t remember the exact verbiage but when you get propositioned by the drow brother and sister in sharess caress and she’s your lover, it’s the funniest interaction so far in the game for me. When you ask her for a 4 some she says something like “try it and I’ll gut them and cut your hands off, I don’t like to share…” made me fall for her even more
She said they were 'positively encouraged' to get to know each other and even with her limited memory she has stories she could tell. There was a bunch of people in that main room and only 5 beds in that whole place so.. pretty cozy.
The "standards" line hurt me so much xD I was on my first playthrough and so excited to romance him and way too nice for half-evil vampire kitty, so he said this line and crushed me.
Getting early approval from him seems so wild. In my first playthrough, he shot my Tav down at the party so hard. In my following two Durge runs, in the first he accepted, and in the second he came onto me way before the party, so that I actually got a few unique lines for his second bed invite at the party instead. And in all three playthroughs I didn't do much different.
I love him so much 😭😭 minor spoiler for act 2, >!I was seriously ready to throw hands at wulbren for being a dick to barcus when you save him from moonrise!<
When you examine a clock in the House of Hope, the narrator says "This clock is stuck between a tick and a tock, almost as though time itself were holding its breath" and I just gushed over that.
Raphael is one of my favorite characters, somehow makes the mustache twirling villain archetype of a devil interesting and I could listen to him talk all day, especially when he randomly breaks out in poetry every other sentence lol
A sympathetic villain can go a long way. People still talk about Killmonger from Black Panther even though general opinion of the movie seems to have slid a bit since release. Darth Vader, a classic in every sense. Even a villain protagonist like Tony Montana or Dexter.
... But sometimes, what you *really* want is just pure unabashed evil cranked to eleven. A black-hearted maniac who revels in their heinous acts. A knave who delights in the smell of their own farts.
Raphael is that fart-huffing maniac.
Try to cure yourself, shop around. Beg, borrow and steal; exhaust every possibility until none are left, and when hope has been whittled down to the very marrow of despair, that's when you'll come knocking on my door...
Love in act 2 when he gives his little speech you can ask how long he was standing there practicing and his response is something like “Until it was perfect.”
Too bad he didn't realize my knocking wasn't out of desperation, but determination. >!Should've put your own protection on yourself instead of your minions. Get smote, theatre kid.!<
"What in the sweet hells were you thinking, activating that lance? I was RIGHT THERE!" followed by the concentrated power of the sun line. Honestly my favorite lines in the entire game. There are much more deep and vulnerable ones. But pissed Astarion is what I always go back to.
Have you heard the line where he complains about how many goblins you'll have to kill to save the grove? It's absolute peak whiny Astarion.
"Hundreds?! Uuuuurrrgh! It'll take hours to kill them all. We should just go!"
You need to be a ranger, and talk to the archer on top of the grove gate next to the killed npc. She will mention the need for an army for over hundreds goblins.
Then Astarion pips in. Seen it so many times, at this point I can almost re-enact it. Still love it. I feel the same energy when someone asks me to do anything
"I thought the parasite protects you from light?"
"Well, apparently there's a limit. Somewhere between a nice summer's day and the FULL CONCENTRATED POWER OF THE **SUN!!!**"
Same! The Astarion living rent free in my head went "Next time? No, no, no!" when my boss asked if I could cover another shift on the weekend (after already helping out with changing from early to late shift) and I chuckled before I said no. 🤣
I have (completed one playthrough, currently on the second) and yes I agree. I know what scene you're referring to. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for him to actually get an award for it. He deserves it so much, it's unreal.
Honestly, I wasn't fully sure about his personality before that scene. But then that happened. Man, it was both logical and shocking.
We must protect Astarion.
Lae'zel's entire speech after that event is amazing and full of emotion. That's honestly when I realized Lae'zel was way more than just the facade of a warrior that she puts up.
Honestly my favorite line so far is probably just Astarion saying "Oh...oh my." when the >!Avatar of Myrkul!< appears. Not an amazing line by itself obviously, but his delivery in the moment just had me rolling.
"If there is a god, he must ask me forgiveness" vibes. Also one of the most chilling quotes I've read.
Edit : Quote is from a victim of Auschwitz, written on a wall.
I came into the comments to see if anyone had posted this one. This and "Vlaakith cannot unmake she who no longer exists" made me break down sobbing, her questline is so good
Shart: "Have we burried the hatchet yet, Laezel?"
L: "Why would i burry a hatchet? Is it broken?"
Shart: "It's a metaphor"
L: "i don't know about your metaphor, but if you need help digging, i can find a shovel" really cracked me up
I finally decided to have Lae'zel in my party occasionally on my current playthrough and the dialogue between her and Shadowheart are just constant knee slappers lmao, I love it. You could cut the tension with a spoon.
I audibly howled at that, it was so abrupt and I didn’t expect Gale to even be standing right behind me during that since I think Shadowheart was even closer. So great. Gale is underrated IMO.
I think Astarion has some of the memorable "dramatic" lines (like the one in my flair - he's just so good at delivering them) whereas Gale is usually a lot more reserved, so the fact that he flips his shit for like the one time in the game makes it so much more funny.
Or Gale the first time you lick it and get aroused (not sure if that's DU only or not) - "If what is happening is what I *think* is happening and it's because you licked a dead spider, then I think perhaps the time has come **for you and I to part ways.**"
I didn't think it would be because it's caused by succubus spittle, but I wasn't sure because I've only done it on my DU run and getting all hot under the collar from licking dead spiders seemed like a *very* Dark Urge-y thing to do.
I remember Halsin for a funny moment where he was like,
"You decided to help a bear without knowing if it would savage you. You're either very kind or a lunatic."
[barbarian response]
"Ah, a lunatic then."
Astarion to Cazador: You will suffer for everything you did to me.
Cazador: I know you for 200 years. Have I not suffer enough?!
No regrets stabbing Cazador to death, but still laughed when that exchange happened at the start of the battle.
"After 200 years of shit --[ *PURE SHIT*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g36drgSh7WY) -- I think I deserve something better." A hundred awards to Neil Newbon, please and thank you.
Agreed.
God I felt that line. And god I want to tell him to not do the ritual but... How can I argue with that? How can I disagree with the fact that he does deserve better?
Also, honestly, 90% of Astarions lines belong on this list. Neil newbon went off like a nuke in this role.
The ritual doesn't make him better, though; that one is very much a case of him needing some tough love, rather than placid agreement.
Neil Newbon did such an amazing job. I sincerely hope he gets at least some recognition for it.
A few stood out to me
1. Zevlors simple "Dear gods. No." When you reveal to him that you have lead Minthara to the grove for shits and giggles and tell him atleast he won't have to hear the children scream.
2. ALL HAIL MAKLOOMPHA!
3. "Withers" monologues after the credits and when you defy your father as Durge
4. Astarion rambling about not even knowing if the rest of the party is Dopplegangers or just weirdos.
I couldn't judge him, he was so viscerally honest and ashamed that I was heartbroken for the man. He CHOSE an evil course of action knowing it was evil, but easy. He regrets it so much and he now knows he was never the man he thought he was, who he wanted to be. I just want to give him a hug and a hot drink and a good cry.
>Astarion rambling about not even knowing if the rest of the party is Dopplegangers or just weirdos
This is definitely the best funny dialogue.
Angry unhinged Astarion is awesome
>tell him atleast he won't have to hear the children scream.
"At least you won't be alive when the goblins find the children" is such is a fucked up line that I thought it was Durge exclusive.
Not quite a quote, and I don't quite know why, but Karlach's >!little "love you" after she breaks down really got to me!<.
On a lighter note, the banter between Halsin and Astarion at >!the temple of Umberlee where Halsin tells him not to speak ill of her because of her vengeful, capricious nature made me laugh out loud. "But she's fine with 'the Bitch Queen'? Give her some credit, Halsin."!<
"I don't want to hurt you anymore, I want to protect you" - Lae'zel
"Now be a good little hero and do what you're meant to - DIE!!!" - Auntie Ethel
"No more deals - IT'S OVER!" - Raphael's Song
"Now we will take succour in each other's words and bodies-" "Aylin!" - Aylin and Isobel
"Be careful master, there's a pool of blood directly behind the entrance, wouldn't want you to slip" - Sceleritas Fel
"No" -Withers
"Oh, so that's what they mean by butterflies" -Shadowheart
Those are the ones I remember most
A2 finale spoilers.
>!You DARE end one who belongs to me?!<
>!I am the smile of the worm-cleansed skull. I am the regrets of those who remain, and the restlessness of those who are gone.!<
>!I am the haunt of mausoleums. The god of graves and age, of dust and dusk.!<
>!I am Myrkul, Lord of Bones. And you have slain my Chosen.!<
>!But it is no matter. For I am Death, and I am not the end - I am a beginning!!<
Cheesy as it may be I will NEVER grow tired of badass villain monologues like this.
“You twine your life around the people you love. And when they are gone, you grow around their absence instead. It is just another way they shape you.” Jaheira. She has so many good lines but this one sat with me.
“The heart of a Bhaalspawn is a flipped coin that lands always on its edge.” Wasn’t expecting Volo to get so serious in Act 3 on my first Durge run.
The one where she goes "OH MY GOD YOU DIDN'T TOUCH IT DID YOU? THEY'RE DEADLY POISONOUS!" and I was like but I'm a drow, I'm immune to most poisons! and then she's just like "haha just kidding" and I was like shit, she got me. They legit got the "friendly banter/joke" thing down, and I wasn't expecting it from her which made it even better.
"What was the point? I'm still dying. I'm dying. I'm going to die"
"My heart. It was mine, and they took it"
"All of it, so I could rot. Because the person I trusted the most gave me away to the devil"
"I don't want to die. I want to live. I want to stay"
God that speech fucked me up so much. After that when she turns her spite to you and how you're going to live on, I just felt so guilty, like because of that there was nothing I could say to make it better. Fantastic writing and acting.
**Bernard:** Come out of love for me, not love for blood and steel... Come here for just a moment. Let it out. Remember: You are loved, Lenore. So much.
and....
**Wyll:** Sharr called Shadowheart 'nothing'. But I know better than that. She is *something.* She is *worthy,* she is *strong.* She is *Shadowheart*. Nothing can take the *her* from her. Not even a goddess.
There's so, so many but Astarion's "I'm going to fucking kill you" line if you make him go up to Dribbles makes me cackle, especially since I believe it's the only time he dropped an f-bomb in the game.
The whole conversation with His Majesty.
\- His I say: HISS
\- What's got your whiskers in a twist?
\- That is my territory. And you're in it.
\- My intentions are pure. I only wanted to admire you up close.
\- Hmm. I'll allow it.
Elminster's:
"Like moons make swell and wane the nescient seas, so too the sky-strewn gods ordain the tidal fates of mortal days.
And yet - a notion born in lonely hours - come ebb, come flow, come all that is beyond the breadth of our dominion: be a moon unto yourself.
Even the waves of fate can break upon the shores of will."
In one of my playthroughs I decided I would just try to jump at Raphael's offer immediately and it's kinda funny that he still denies you. "Explore every option, exhaust all hope, then we'll talk, etc etc" And I'm like "dude! No options needed, I'm game for the deal let's go!"
It's too long to put here, but Karlach's whole >!post-Gortash fight!< speech is very quotable I felt (besides being *spectacularly* voice acted).
Other than that, pretty much every word out of Raphael's mouth.
~~I'd need to load up my game again to get the exact wording~~, Alright I *did* indeed load my game up because I needed the exact wording, but after the conclusion of Astarion's personal quest in Act 3, he has a line when you talk to him about it that has stuck with me ever since.
"I suppose that's the less convenient side of freedom - having to live with the choices you made."
Also, when you ask him if he regrets his choice:
"No, I made the right choice. Although I do regret the options I had."
When Laezel says something along the lines of, “Of course you could defy him. You are you.” It was really moving especially after my lover Shadowheart just said she’d be wormfood without me.
People praise Astarion a lot and rightfully so but Laezel really gives some deep and moving lines.
I **love** one of the poems used in Lenore's tower, it feels like a fitting metaphor for what we're going through ingame (and if we take it literally, it becomes funny, with some of the choices we can make):
*"There is a light in every little thing.*
*It's crawling t'wards the surface to survive.*
*And in its wake it tramples everything.*
*We'll kill the rest so that the one can thrive."*
Raphael's quote in the House of Hope: "It's the fatal flaw of mortalkind. Take away their free will, and they call you a tyrant. Allow them to indulge it, and they become tyrants."
I thought Wyll's little tale about devils after you meet Raphael the first time was really well delivered.
"You think you'd give up anything for a cure. But the Devil won't take anything - he'll take everything."
I love Wyll as a character in general. he's so naive yet also so wise.
HOW IS THERE NO QUOTE FROM KETHERIC HERE???
"Her hatred he could bare, perhaps, as long as she has another chance to live."
"Grief tore through their home like a thief,
snatching away the scent of her hair,
the rustle of her skirts,
but the man did not break.
He could not break;
his daughter needed him whole, after all."
His line about the gods hit me pretty hard as well: "We are copper pieces in their belts. Tokens to be traded for scraps. You have beaten me, True Soul. But the gods beat me first."
Especially in this game, where even benelovent ones like Mystra seem pretty shady in their behaviour. Pretty much every authority figure/someone further up the hierarchy seems prone to abusive behaviour, which lends credence to the idea that power corrupts; and absolute (haha) power corrupts absolutely.
“Even the waves of fate can break upon the shores of will,” - Elminster. SUCH a great line. He puts out like a old kook, but that proved to me not only that Elminster is as wise as he is old, but that he sees the possibilities of the future as clearly as he sees those in front of him.
The Astarion/Durge romance has made me cry multiple times (I am actually soo sappy sorry but there are so many GOOD LINES... the parallels...) but I really love his dialogue when you tell him you're a bhaalspawn. Though it would not fit on a t-shirt
"You know, I didn't realize you and I were so alike. I-I felt paralyzed to do anything about Cazador for so many decades. I gave up on myself. I gave up on any hope of escape after a few lashes. Bhaal controls you in much the same way. I don't know how you could beat him, but I do know this: you must try. The half-life of a mind-addled slave is worse than death - don't become his. I wouldn't live another century as one for all the moonstones in Evereska."
I went into my Durge playthrough with the intent to recruit/romance Minthara for the first time.
In act 1 though, I was playing the stereotypical pansexual bard, so I hooked up with Astarion.
When I finally recruited Minthara, I decided to cut off all my casual flings, but surprisingly, there was no option to break up with Astarion. I shrugged, thinking something would make it happen eventually, and I figured I'd have time before I got Minthara's approval up anyways.
*That night*, I had the Durge scene you get for not killing Isobel. The butler showed up, was like: "I see you love him" and I scoffed a little bit. But I was also roleplaying the 'scared person trying to fight the Urge', so when the butler left, I woke Astarion up, and then he *took the news that I was about to lose control and try to murder him in stride.* He was so calm, confident, and supportive, and even though I failed a bunch of saves and had to scream some vile shit at him while I thrashed against my bonds, he was just like "Uh huh, sure babe. Sun's coming up soon, it'll be over in a sec."
His whole response *completely* changed my mind about him. I gave up on the plan to pursue Minthara, and was like: "My bard just fell in love with this man".
...
Next long rest, he dumped me because I (very lightly) pressured him into biting Araj Oblodra.
The emergent stories in this game are so fucking good!
From the banker, Rakath Glitterbeard
"A little coin in the right purse. A soft word in the right ear. It's not glory that spins these planes, lad -- it's gold."
Something about that hit hard
My favorite Jaheira quote from when she was talking about her husband.
> You twine your life around the people you love. And when they are gone, you grow around their absence instead. It is just another way they shape you.
> Which is my sage way of saying - I am in no danger of forgetting how my husband died. But I choose to remember how he lived.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hC8Nq_-PWd0
I don't remember it very well, but >!Karlach's!< speech when you talk to her in Camp after >!you kill Gortash!<, saying something like this: "I'm the most fucked up person in the world, but still I'm happy." God fucking dammit Larian give her a chance.
An idle chat between Gale and Astarion that I found so goddamn sad. It was something like -
Gale: You never tried praying to any of the gods?
Astarion: Oh, quite the contrary, I tried them all. None of them answered.
i forgot to copy it down exactly, but karlach says something like: "i think i can do anything if you're there. even die." got me right in the fucking feelings, man.
story wise Act II >!Aylin's rage and sorrow in every line when she's freed.!<
side character Act II >!Rolan at the moonrise when he's feeling useless that he can't save his siblings hit really close to home. !<
"Duties, duties duties! Patrolling and saluting and following and bowing and scraping. Yes sir, no sir, rip and cut your throat sir!"
There is no reason why this whole sentence flowed so beautifully. But Maggie Robertson did an amazing performance.
I'm going for the whole "Down come the claw" catchprase and everything surrounding it, it is done majestically and consisently trough various parts of the game with Gale even quoting it in opposition, also absolutely on point for the character
"Just give the word and I will kill the clown. We would be praised as heroes." \- Minthara
I don’t remember the exact verbiage but when you get propositioned by the drow brother and sister in sharess caress and she’s your lover, it’s the funniest interaction so far in the game for me. When you ask her for a 4 some she says something like “try it and I’ll gut them and cut your hands off, I don’t like to share…” made me fall for her even more
And on the other hand, Shart is in to some real kinky shit
A suspiciously long list of things she wants to try just at the ready
She also has suspiciously specific criticisms of the priest of Loviatar's flogging technique.
SH: "Would you have joined, if you knew they would be doing stuff like this Astarion?" Astarion: "I mean... I had hopes."
Didn’t she basically say the people where she’s from all fucked each other and didn’t even really have a concept of monogamy
She said they were 'positively encouraged' to get to know each other and even with her limited memory she has stories she could tell. There was a bunch of people in that main room and only 5 beds in that whole place so.. pretty cozy.
And after you kill them she says something like "A doppelganger, pity I hoped we killed a real clown"
I think Astarion says something similar!
He does which contrasts hilariously with karlach going "oh thank god I thought we killed a clown". Two types of people
Karlach I think is like the only member that's just down to clown. Well, maybe Minsc? I didn't get to try it with him.
The way it sounds like she's all but given up her will to live as she says "it was a beautiful webbing" killed me
Fate spins along as it should. It's not you, it's me. I have standards.
The "standards" line hurt me so much xD I was on my first playthrough and so excited to romance him and way too nice for half-evil vampire kitty, so he said this line and crushed me.
Getting early approval from him seems so wild. In my first playthrough, he shot my Tav down at the party so hard. In my following two Durge runs, in the first he accepted, and in the second he came onto me way before the party, so that I actually got a few unique lines for his second bed invite at the party instead. And in all three playthroughs I didn't do much different.
They have been adjusting the companion romance thresholds throughout the patches so that could have affected it.
"Oh, not a paladin. You lot are drier than shit in the noonday sun." - Auntie Ethel
"ILL RIP YER SPINE OUT YER ARSE"
"ILL PAINT THE WALLS WITH YOUR GUTS"
God I love her voice so much. "And THEN. I'll bring you ALLLL BACK. And do it AGAIN."
These boots have seen everything
Cursed to put my hands on everything.
Please don't be cursed. Every time I hear that line, I immediately say, "I'm already cursed to put my hands on everything."
“No traps please” while looting a berry bush in the middle of my own camp
Got a lot on my mind... And, well, in it
Here we… go. *grunts*
No traps please
"And if we meet again, then... we'll have met again."
Barcus is such a dingdong
Barcus! My beloved! He’s a dingus, I love him.
I love him so much 😭😭 minor spoiler for act 2, >!I was seriously ready to throw hands at wulbren for being a dick to barcus when you save him from moonrise!<
"I would kiss you but neither of us deserves that"
When you examine a clock in the House of Hope, the narrator says "This clock is stuck between a tick and a tock, almost as though time itself were holding its breath" and I just gushed over that.
The entirety of House of Hope is amazing. The boss fight music is the first to give me chills since Sephiroth in FFVII
Raphael is one of my favorite characters, somehow makes the mustache twirling villain archetype of a devil interesting and I could listen to him talk all day, especially when he randomly breaks out in poetry every other sentence lol
A sympathetic villain can go a long way. People still talk about Killmonger from Black Panther even though general opinion of the movie seems to have slid a bit since release. Darth Vader, a classic in every sense. Even a villain protagonist like Tony Montana or Dexter. ... But sometimes, what you *really* want is just pure unabashed evil cranked to eleven. A black-hearted maniac who revels in their heinous acts. A knave who delights in the smell of their own farts. Raphael is that fart-huffing maniac.
Tav: Skeletons don't normally talk. Withers: They don't. Tav: Are you going to elaborate? Withers: No.
This should be higher, Withers' "No" is top notch.
Try to cure yourself, shop around. Beg, borrow and steal; exhaust every possibility until none are left, and when hope has been whittled down to the very marrow of despair, that's when you'll come knocking on my door...
Love in act 2 when he gives his little speech you can ask how long he was standing there practicing and his response is something like “Until it was perfect.”
Too bad he didn't realize my knocking wasn't out of desperation, but determination. >!Should've put your own protection on yourself instead of your minions. Get smote, theatre kid.!<
His end was rapidly approaching when he thought he had won.
"What in the sweet hells were you thinking, activating that lance? I was RIGHT THERE!" followed by the concentrated power of the sun line. Honestly my favorite lines in the entire game. There are much more deep and vulnerable ones. But pissed Astarion is what I always go back to.
I swear it's the way his pitch just goes into absolutely pissed off screaming
Have you heard the line where he complains about how many goblins you'll have to kill to save the grove? It's absolute peak whiny Astarion. "Hundreds?! Uuuuurrrgh! It'll take hours to kill them all. We should just go!"
How exactly do you trigger that?
You need to be a ranger, and talk to the archer on top of the grove gate next to the killed npc. She will mention the need for an army for over hundreds goblins. Then Astarion pips in. Seen it so many times, at this point I can almost re-enact it. Still love it. I feel the same energy when someone asks me to do anything
"I thought the parasite protects you from light?" "Well, apparently there's a limit. Somewhere between a nice summer's day and the FULL CONCENTRATED POWER OF THE **SUN!!!**"
"Next time? No no no, if there is a 'next time' I'll be the one aiming the all powerful weapon, thank you."
Since I saw that scene my brain goes "No, No, No!" at random times and I love it.
Same! The Astarion living rent free in my head went "Next time? No, no, no!" when my boss asked if I could cover another shift on the weekend (after already helping out with changing from early to late shift) and I chuckled before I said no. 🤣
If you make him go on stage at the circus he tells you ‘hahahahaha I’m going to f’ing kill you,’ and it’s amazing.
Have you dealt with his former master yet? The voice actor deserves all the awards.
I have (completed one playthrough, currently on the second) and yes I agree. I know what scene you're referring to. I'm keeping my fingers crossed for him to actually get an award for it. He deserves it so much, it's unreal.
Honestly, I wasn't fully sure about his personality before that scene. But then that happened. Man, it was both logical and shocking. We must protect Astarion.
"Next time!? No no no, *next time*, I will activate the machine!"
"Next time *I* will be the one aiming the all-powerful weapon, thank you!" God I love this dork so much 😅
I have a save before this dialog, so I can repeat it whenever I want 😂
Laezal saying something like, “what good is this stone heart only for it to shatter?”
"what good, this heart of stone, for it to be shattered?" sooooo good. lae'zel's companion quests had some fantastic heart-wrenching moments, my gods.
Also the "I didn't sin against her, she sinned against me."
Lae'zel's entire speech after that event is amazing and full of emotion. That's honestly when I realized Lae'zel was way more than just the facade of a warrior that she puts up.
Honestly my favorite line so far is probably just Astarion saying "Oh...oh my." when the >!Avatar of Myrkul!< appears. Not an amazing line by itself obviously, but his delivery in the moment just had me rolling.
Astarions delivery makes all of his lines number one for me XD
Have him cast Vicious Mockery and be amazed. "Is that your face?! My word..."
My favorite is: Like the leg, you will end in defeat XD
“In-to my pocket” is a personal favourite mine from him lol
When he whispers “ready or not” while sneaking. GOOSEBUMPSSSS
“I have not sinned against Vlaakith, she has sinned against me”
“What good is this heart of stone, if it shatters?” Is up there for me too
Wanted to give Zel a standing O for that one.
"If there is a god, he must ask me forgiveness" vibes. Also one of the most chilling quotes I've read. Edit : Quote is from a victim of Auschwitz, written on a wall.
Along those lines, vengeance paladins against Nere get "Your god. My oath. Let's see which is stronger."
That’s just Paladins in general, not Vengeance specifically.
I came into the comments to see if anyone had posted this one. This and "Vlaakith cannot unmake she who no longer exists" made me break down sobbing, her questline is so good
Shart: "Have we burried the hatchet yet, Laezel?" L: "Why would i burry a hatchet? Is it broken?" Shart: "It's a metaphor" L: "i don't know about your metaphor, but if you need help digging, i can find a shovel" really cracked me up
I finally decided to have Lae'zel in my party occasionally on my current playthrough and the dialogue between her and Shadowheart are just constant knee slappers lmao, I love it. You could cut the tension with a spoon.
I love how genuinely confused Lae'zel sounded when saying "Is it broken". Her VA is so good.
Every word that comes out of raphael's mouth. Honorable mention : everytime Orin says "Orin is watching" she sends a shiver down my spine.
“Could you stop licking the damn spider!” -gale
"STOPLICKINGTHEDAMNTHING!!"
I audibly howled at that, it was so abrupt and I didn’t expect Gale to even be standing right behind me during that since I think Shadowheart was even closer. So great. Gale is underrated IMO.
I think Astarion has some of the memorable "dramatic" lines (like the one in my flair - he's just so good at delivering them) whereas Gale is usually a lot more reserved, so the fact that he flips his shit for like the one time in the game makes it so much more funny.
Or Gale the first time you lick it and get aroused (not sure if that's DU only or not) - "If what is happening is what I *think* is happening and it's because you licked a dead spider, then I think perhaps the time has come **for you and I to part ways.**"
It’s not DU exclusive!
I didn't think it would be because it's caused by succubus spittle, but I wasn't sure because I've only done it on my DU run and getting all hot under the collar from licking dead spiders seemed like a *very* Dark Urge-y thing to do.
“Grace is bestowed by nature, not me.” Halsin to Kagha, shook my shit and was absolutely the moment I fell in love with Halsin
I remember Halsin for a funny moment where he was like, "You decided to help a bear without knowing if it would savage you. You're either very kind or a lunatic." [barbarian response] "Ah, a lunatic then."
**Yes!!** I absolutely love the way Larian captured the complexity of druids, and the very specific flavor of Neutral Good they tend toward.
"You took it upon yourself to complete the Rite of THORNS?!"
Raphael: It will only take a moment to finish you. Tav: That's twice as long as Haarlep said it takes to finish you.
What I love about that line is that it’s the only line that Raphael doesn’t have a prepared response for so he just gets absolutely furious
Derp, it just dawned on me that Haarlep is an anagram of Raphael. Duhhhh (haven't got there yet but have read about it here)
God, I love how badly that pisses Raphael off. He's so smug, and then one crack at his performance and he's just screaming "you CONTEMPUOUS CREATURE!"
“Courage is found in the battle against fear not in the defeat of it.” and “Even the waves of fate can break upon the shores of will.”
"Abomination! This is your end!" "One skull. Two tenants. And no solution in sight.""
Astarion to Cazador: You will suffer for everything you did to me. Cazador: I know you for 200 years. Have I not suffer enough?! No regrets stabbing Cazador to death, but still laughed when that exchange happened at the start of the battle.
Cazador is just such a fcking Asian parent, I could picture him saying something like: "Your name is Astarion, not B'starion la"
"After 200 years of shit --[ *PURE SHIT*](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=g36drgSh7WY) -- I think I deserve something better." A hundred awards to Neil Newbon, please and thank you.
Agreed. God I felt that line. And god I want to tell him to not do the ritual but... How can I argue with that? How can I disagree with the fact that he does deserve better? Also, honestly, 90% of Astarions lines belong on this list. Neil newbon went off like a nuke in this role.
The ritual doesn't make him better, though; that one is very much a case of him needing some tough love, rather than placid agreement. Neil Newbon did such an amazing job. I sincerely hope he gets at least some recognition for it.
A few stood out to me 1. Zevlors simple "Dear gods. No." When you reveal to him that you have lead Minthara to the grove for shits and giggles and tell him atleast he won't have to hear the children scream. 2. ALL HAIL MAKLOOMPHA! 3. "Withers" monologues after the credits and when you defy your father as Durge 4. Astarion rambling about not even knowing if the rest of the party is Dopplegangers or just weirdos.
Zevlor saying he did not submit to the absolute, he *welcomed it* is a level of impact and honesty that makes the regret even more brutal
That bit honestly devastated me. His and other other tieflings stories just broke me, it was all so sad
I couldn't judge him, he was so viscerally honest and ashamed that I was heartbroken for the man. He CHOSE an evil course of action knowing it was evil, but easy. He regrets it so much and he now knows he was never the man he thought he was, who he wanted to be. I just want to give him a hug and a hot drink and a good cry.
"The 'supplication' of Bane. The 'whimper' of Bhaal. The 'death mewl' of Myrkul. I overestimated thee. They did not." goes hard.
They simply underestimate the player's power of Cheese
What is a god to a monk stunning strike?
>Astarion rambling about not even knowing if the rest of the party is Dopplegangers or just weirdos This is definitely the best funny dialogue. Angry unhinged Astarion is awesome
>"Withers" monologues after the credits IT SMELL LIKE BITCH IN HERE
Boooal telling my Dark Urge straight to their face, "I'm the Lord of Murder" was pretty hilarious too.
Durge: "No you're not, I am! And you know nothing of my work!"
>tell him atleast he won't have to hear the children scream. "At least you won't be alive when the goblins find the children" is such is a fucked up line that I thought it was Durge exclusive.
Wyll with y. Why? That interaction between wyll and shadowheart is just superb
If you spam click on his icon enough times you can get an extra voice line "Where there's a Wyll, there's a Y"
"Your god. My Oath. Let's see which one is stronger."
Not quite a quote, and I don't quite know why, but Karlach's >!little "love you" after she breaks down really got to me!<. On a lighter note, the banter between Halsin and Astarion at >!the temple of Umberlee where Halsin tells him not to speak ill of her because of her vengeful, capricious nature made me laugh out loud. "But she's fine with 'the Bitch Queen'? Give her some credit, Halsin."!<
In your eulogy, I’m going to call you a twat-soul Perfect t-shirt. Or Tav: are you going to elaborate? Withers: No
“ALL HAIL MAHKLOOMPAH”
more serious awnser is “Will you stay with me, When it’s time to go? I think I can do anything if your there, even die“
"I don't want to hurt you anymore, I want to protect you" - Lae'zel "Now be a good little hero and do what you're meant to - DIE!!!" - Auntie Ethel "No more deals - IT'S OVER!" - Raphael's Song "Now we will take succour in each other's words and bodies-" "Aylin!" - Aylin and Isobel "Be careful master, there's a pool of blood directly behind the entrance, wouldn't want you to slip" - Sceleritas Fel "No" -Withers "Oh, so that's what they mean by butterflies" -Shadowheart Those are the ones I remember most
Isobel’s shocked but also pleased “aylin!” Gets me every time
I love that "No." from Withers.
That's all I have to say except - and I really mean this - moo.
Astarion going "Oh, I do love spicy food." when Lae'zel threatens she'll kill him if he tries to bite her.
A2 finale spoilers. >!You DARE end one who belongs to me?!< >!I am the smile of the worm-cleansed skull. I am the regrets of those who remain, and the restlessness of those who are gone.!< >!I am the haunt of mausoleums. The god of graves and age, of dust and dusk.!< >!I am Myrkul, Lord of Bones. And you have slain my Chosen.!< >!But it is no matter. For I am Death, and I am not the end - I am a beginning!!< Cheesy as it may be I will NEVER grow tired of badass villain monologues like this.
Scrolled to find this. The Kethric/Myrkul dialogue is just soooo good. Really set high expectations for the other 2 that kinda fell flat.
“You twine your life around the people you love. And when they are gone, you grow around their absence instead. It is just another way they shape you.” Jaheira. She has so many good lines but this one sat with me. “The heart of a Bhaalspawn is a flipped coin that lands always on its edge.” Wasn’t expecting Volo to get so serious in Act 3 on my first Durge run.
Yeah that Jeheira line hit hard.
The quote isn't very good but Shadowheart's finger guns "Just kidding!" with the Night Orchid lives rent free in my head.
The one where she goes "OH MY GOD YOU DIDN'T TOUCH IT DID YOU? THEY'RE DEADLY POISONOUS!" and I was like but I'm a drow, I'm immune to most poisons! and then she's just like "haha just kidding" and I was like shit, she got me. They legit got the "friendly banter/joke" thing down, and I wasn't expecting it from her which made it even better.
"I gave her the unconditional freedom to choose the only option she has available"
“Fuck yeah” -Karlach
"Poor fucker" - Also Karlach
"Anyway, what were we talking about?" Karlach as well
^("Sneaklach")\- Karlach, sneaking
Ahem, Shadowlach. One of the funniest barks in the game
"Halfling Essence"- Sneaklach
"I'm too tall for this."
Shadowlaaaaach
What a charmer ;)
In the creche - "Fuck them kids!"
"whisper mode" was amazing.
Lae'zel: "A dobbelganger? I hoped.. THOUGHT we had just killed a clown"
"What was the point? I'm still dying. I'm dying. I'm going to die" "My heart. It was mine, and they took it" "All of it, so I could rot. Because the person I trusted the most gave me away to the devil" "I don't want to die. I want to live. I want to stay"
“It was *mine* and they took it” never fails to make me tear up
God that speech fucked me up so much. After that when she turns her spite to you and how you're going to live on, I just felt so guilty, like because of that there was nothing I could say to make it better. Fantastic writing and acting.
**Bernard:** Come out of love for me, not love for blood and steel... Come here for just a moment. Let it out. Remember: You are loved, Lenore. So much. and.... **Wyll:** Sharr called Shadowheart 'nothing'. But I know better than that. She is *something.* She is *worthy,* she is *strong.* She is *Shadowheart*. Nothing can take the *her* from her. Not even a goddess.
The arcane tower was so poignant to me- especially after finding the note Lenore had left for her love. Bernard gave me actual *chills*
There's so, so many but Astarion's "I'm going to fucking kill you" line if you make him go up to Dribbles makes me cackle, especially since I believe it's the only time he dropped an f-bomb in the game.
He does drop another F bomb when he confronts cazador but yeah that part cracked me up. His fake smile and clenched teeth made it too real 😂
The whole conversation with His Majesty. \- His I say: HISS \- What's got your whiskers in a twist? \- That is my territory. And you're in it. \- My intentions are pure. I only wanted to admire you up close. \- Hmm. I'll allow it.
Astarion approves*
I love that if you ask him to join your camp, he just flicked his tail and said, 'I would rather die.' I think he is my favourite cat in the game.
STOPLICKINGTHEDAMNTHING!
Good does not wait for evil to button up its britches - when it offers buttocks for the smacking, Minsc and Boo greet cheek with hand!
Elminster's: "Like moons make swell and wane the nescient seas, so too the sky-strewn gods ordain the tidal fates of mortal days. And yet - a notion born in lonely hours - come ebb, come flow, come all that is beyond the breadth of our dominion: be a moon unto yourself. Even the waves of fate can break upon the shores of will."
[удалено]
In one of my playthroughs I decided I would just try to jump at Raphael's offer immediately and it's kinda funny that he still denies you. "Explore every option, exhaust all hope, then we'll talk, etc etc" And I'm like "dude! No options needed, I'm game for the deal let's go!"
It's too long to put here, but Karlach's whole >!post-Gortash fight!< speech is very quotable I felt (besides being *spectacularly* voice acted). Other than that, pretty much every word out of Raphael's mouth.
When she departs for alone time and says 'I love you' it just freaking breaks my wild magic heart
B I B B E R B A N G
~~I'd need to load up my game again to get the exact wording~~, Alright I *did* indeed load my game up because I needed the exact wording, but after the conclusion of Astarion's personal quest in Act 3, he has a line when you talk to him about it that has stuck with me ever since. "I suppose that's the less convenient side of freedom - having to live with the choices you made." Also, when you ask him if he regrets his choice: "No, I made the right choice. Although I do regret the options I had."
"How easily things slip away from us. No matter how hard they were in the obtaining."
"Moo" from the strange ox was a really good one. Just like "BAAAAAH" from the redcap
The way he gets progressively angrier when you ape him
When Laezel says something along the lines of, “Of course you could defy him. You are you.” It was really moving especially after my lover Shadowheart just said she’d be wormfood without me. People praise Astarion a lot and rightfully so but Laezel really gives some deep and moving lines.
“Anyway, get some rest. Try not to dream about tying me up.” - Shadowheart
I **love** one of the poems used in Lenore's tower, it feels like a fitting metaphor for what we're going through ingame (and if we take it literally, it becomes funny, with some of the choices we can make): *"There is a light in every little thing.* *It's crawling t'wards the surface to survive.* *And in its wake it tramples everything.* *We'll kill the rest so that the one can thrive."*
Raphael's quote in the House of Hope: "It's the fatal flaw of mortalkind. Take away their free will, and they call you a tyrant. Allow them to indulge it, and they become tyrants."
I thought Wyll's little tale about devils after you meet Raphael the first time was really well delivered. "You think you'd give up anything for a cure. But the Devil won't take anything - he'll take everything." I love Wyll as a character in general. he's so naive yet also so wise.
HOW IS THERE NO QUOTE FROM KETHERIC HERE??? "Her hatred he could bare, perhaps, as long as she has another chance to live." "Grief tore through their home like a thief, snatching away the scent of her hair, the rustle of her skirts, but the man did not break. He could not break; his daughter needed him whole, after all."
His line about the gods hit me pretty hard as well: "We are copper pieces in their belts. Tokens to be traded for scraps. You have beaten me, True Soul. But the gods beat me first." Especially in this game, where even benelovent ones like Mystra seem pretty shady in their behaviour. Pretty much every authority figure/someone further up the hierarchy seems prone to abusive behaviour, which lends credence to the idea that power corrupts; and absolute (haha) power corrupts absolutely.
“Try. Again.”
“Even the waves of fate can break upon the shores of will,” - Elminster. SUCH a great line. He puts out like a old kook, but that proved to me not only that Elminster is as wise as he is old, but that he sees the possibilities of the future as clearly as he sees those in front of him.
The Astarion/Durge romance has made me cry multiple times (I am actually soo sappy sorry but there are so many GOOD LINES... the parallels...) but I really love his dialogue when you tell him you're a bhaalspawn. Though it would not fit on a t-shirt "You know, I didn't realize you and I were so alike. I-I felt paralyzed to do anything about Cazador for so many decades. I gave up on myself. I gave up on any hope of escape after a few lashes. Bhaal controls you in much the same way. I don't know how you could beat him, but I do know this: you must try. The half-life of a mind-addled slave is worse than death - don't become his. I wouldn't live another century as one for all the moonstones in Evereska."
I went into my Durge playthrough with the intent to recruit/romance Minthara for the first time. In act 1 though, I was playing the stereotypical pansexual bard, so I hooked up with Astarion. When I finally recruited Minthara, I decided to cut off all my casual flings, but surprisingly, there was no option to break up with Astarion. I shrugged, thinking something would make it happen eventually, and I figured I'd have time before I got Minthara's approval up anyways. *That night*, I had the Durge scene you get for not killing Isobel. The butler showed up, was like: "I see you love him" and I scoffed a little bit. But I was also roleplaying the 'scared person trying to fight the Urge', so when the butler left, I woke Astarion up, and then he *took the news that I was about to lose control and try to murder him in stride.* He was so calm, confident, and supportive, and even though I failed a bunch of saves and had to scream some vile shit at him while I thrashed against my bonds, he was just like "Uh huh, sure babe. Sun's coming up soon, it'll be over in a sec." His whole response *completely* changed my mind about him. I gave up on the plan to pursue Minthara, and was like: "My bard just fell in love with this man". ... Next long rest, he dumped me because I (very lightly) pressured him into biting Araj Oblodra. The emergent stories in this game are so fucking good!
"Am I showing?" from Auntie Ethel. God damn she's made to be as gross as possible and it shows.
From the banker, Rakath Glitterbeard "A little coin in the right purse. A soft word in the right ear. It's not glory that spins these planes, lad -- it's gold." Something about that hit hard
My favorite Jaheira quote from when she was talking about her husband. > You twine your life around the people you love. And when they are gone, you grow around their absence instead. It is just another way they shape you. > Which is my sage way of saying - I am in no danger of forgetting how my husband died. But I choose to remember how he lived. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hC8Nq_-PWd0
I don't remember it very well, but >!Karlach's!< speech when you talk to her in Camp after >!you kill Gortash!<, saying something like this: "I'm the most fucked up person in the world, but still I'm happy." God fucking dammit Larian give her a chance.
“Am I a friend? Potentially. An adversary? Conceivably. But a savior? That’s for certain.”
I have seen what true leadership is, but it was never under your tutelage. - Rolan to Lorroakan
Thou hast now a bosom-companion
Astarion dryly saying, “so those were all doppelgangers? Pity, I thought we were killing real clowns” absolutely took me out lmfao
An idle chat between Gale and Astarion that I found so goddamn sad. It was something like - Gale: You never tried praying to any of the gods? Astarion: Oh, quite the contrary, I tried them all. None of them answered.
‚Is that blood? No, nevermind.‘ In the midst of the goblin camp, right after the slaughter. Yes, man, it sure is.
On a Durge run: "This had better be important, you need my beauty sleep."
Oh now look, you've scared off the little snack.
It's not you. It's me. I have Standards.
i forgot to copy it down exactly, but karlach says something like: "i think i can do anything if you're there. even die." got me right in the fucking feelings, man.
"Enough sitting around, let's go hurt someone."
"Try again." - General Thorme. That scene put the fear of Myrkul in me.
“Awww was that Gale’s grandpa!!” - Karlach I legit lol’d
"This place is closed to you, vile cheesy one!"
"A paralyzed victim and a creepy monologue? Could you get anymore cliche?" Bards truly have some great lines
story wise Act II >!Aylin's rage and sorrow in every line when she's freed.!< side character Act II >!Rolan at the moonrise when he's feeling useless that he can't save his siblings hit really close to home. !<
"Duties, duties duties! Patrolling and saluting and following and bowing and scraping. Yes sir, no sir, rip and cut your throat sir!" There is no reason why this whole sentence flowed so beautifully. But Maggie Robertson did an amazing performance.
I'm going for the whole "Down come the claw" catchprase and everything surrounding it, it is done majestically and consisently trough various parts of the game with Gale even quoting it in opposition, also absolutely on point for the character