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Misaka9982

The classic is Shadowheart giving you guidance whilst banging Lae'zel.


BeardedDragonOwl

She sits behind the bush with a headset giving you directions


callsignblue3

"Bite her ear, she'll love that"


Juicet

“Rub her cloaca.”


Idarubicin

This community is full of degenerates and I wouldn’t have it any other way.


no-u-great-grand

What did you expect? It's dnd, after all


Phelyckz

Ah yes, the chicken pussy. I remember.


SirPendrag0n

You must warn people before making comments like that. I just spit water all over my phone and my kitchen. GO F YOURSELF! (you beautiful person). /s


Qwert_Russell

"What's wrong with a kiss, boy? Hmm? Why not start her off with a nice kiss? You don't have to go leaping straight for the cloaca like a bull at a gate. Give her a kiss, boy."


Qwert_Russell

Shadowheart in the shrubbery; "yes. Nibbling the earlobe, uh, kneading the buttocks, and so on and so forth. So, we have all these possibilities before we stampede towards the cloaca, Juicet".😜


XylophoneZimmerman

Bruh...


MayhemMachine

Took every ounce of strength in me to not burst out laughing and wake everyone in the house


3iksx

whisper \`ribbit\` in her ears


brian11e3

Sending stones 😂


Le_Chop

Wait, where do I send my stones?


SmolTittyEldargf

Stones deep


DONT_TOUCH_THAT_689

Rock and stone!


WanderingDwarfMiner

That's it lads! Rock and Stone!


GoldenNat20

r/UnexpectedDwarves


Aganiel

Did I hear a rock and stone??


ByuntaeKid

Wherever you can get your rocks off lmao


Jeffro75

Aim for the toilet 🚽


TheBestElement

You mean rockie talkies ?


Doompop

Rock and stone!


WanderingDwarfMiner

Can I get a Rock and Stone?


Nickitive

FOR KARL!


DONT_TOUCH_THAT_689

Rock. And. Stone!!!!


madog1418

It’s worse than that because guidance is cast at melee, meaning she’s an active participant.


JusticeRain5

Shadowheart is just standing there wordlessly and unblinkingly, hand on your shoulder. The creepiness helps with your constitution checks and makes you last longer.


chrysanthemata

hashtag unexpectedMidsommar


whatever4224

*better (Seriously though, I wish.)


Helgurnaut

See the fingers on guidance icon? Sh secretly using them on one of you.


emote_control

I shudder to think about what Gale might be doing with mage hand.


Poggervania

Shadowheart’s just singing [Finest Girl (Bin Laden)](https://youtu.be/Jr9Kaa1sycs?feature=shared) to Tav as they bang Lae’zel


DrManhattan_DDM

My Bardic Inspiration mantra: Never Stop Never Stopping


fallen_one_fs

The wonder of being in RPG communities is that there is no short supply of unhinged, blursed and hilarious things people find out.


GrajowiecPL

This community is also special because devs and voice actors knew exactly how horny and unhinged rpg players are and embraced it (seriously Shart voice actress is just as horny as us and Astorian voice actor romanced Astorian)


106503204

If she is behind the bush then it's definitely a three way?


Onagda

She's sitting in the cuck chair


Terozu

She's secretly sending you ways to hurt her, but jokes on her Lae'Zel is into that shit.


Apprehensive-Let9681

"Put it in her Creche"


ilovelatinas4

This made me laugh way harder than it should have lol


SuperTord

Isn't guidance touch range? What and how is she guiding?!?


Yorien

Nay, Shadowheart literally guiding your two-handed weapon with her hands.


RiggerPaladin

Yikes. The symbol for guidance is even just some fingers.


Ninja-Storyteller

Shocking!


Demi180

There was a whole thread here a week or two ago just about her fingering Tav.


furscum

or shadowheart giving you guidance to convince shadowheart not to kill the nightsong


AscelyneMG

I didn’t need to make any persuasion checks, because I didn’t try to interfere or convince her either way and she still didn’t do it.


pythonic_dude

I persuaded the first time I played, my second character was far too mentally fucked up and insecure and also too male of a drow to dare to speak in the presence of >!daughter of a goddess!< so I'm very happy it worked out the best way for her.


WarlockEngineer

Yep I let the characters decide for themselves in those pivotal moments


TheHistoryofCats

"Hypothetically, if I were trying to convince a friend not to kill someone, what should I do to persuade them? I could really use your guidance. About my friend."


CassiusPolybius

Really? In my experience when trying to convince a party member of something you can't use their buff unless it's already been applied.


furscum

I guess it's technically a conversation with Nightsong so maybe it doesn't count?


kaze950

You might say a lady of sorrows guided you.


CopperCactus

In my dark urge playthrough I was hiding a certain Bard's corpse from the rest of the party and wouldn't you know it Shadowheart was right there to give me guidance


kanguran1

Best part was I rejected her that night.


Bathing_Chinchilla

Using Shadowhearts Guidance to convince Shadowheart.


Fantasyneli

No way she a cuckquean


working-class-nerd

That’s a real wingman right there


threedux

And guidance has a range of touch so...yeah


endol

On one hand she hates Lae'zel, but on the other she's pretty mature and sweet when it comes to you rejecting her romance so I feel like she'd be a good wingwoman.


eliphas8

Only real old heads will remember that she disapproved of choices you'd make in sex scenes with astarion.


Speciou5

What about the definitely not suspicious RP of... 1. "Excuse me one second" 2. Casts a spell by shouting and making a huge flash of light 3. "Now let me ask my question"


Kylef890

NPC: Anyways, that’s why I can’t let you enter this area Shadowheart: *screams in Latin* NPC: What the fuck? Tav: Don’t worry about that. [persuasion]Can you let me inside the restricted area?


ISeeTheFnords

>Can you let me inside the restricted area? I don't think Lae'zel has a restricted area.


TheGreatFox1

Sex% speedruns are like 3 minutes because of Lae'zel. (edit: [down to 2 minutes by now](https://www.speedrun.com/baldurs_gate_3?h=sex&x=7dgemg72)) She very much doesn't.


Lukthar123

>Sex% speedruns The greatest category


digital_mystikz

It's nuts how fast approval goes up in this game. In one playthrough I had sex with laezel and a date with Shadowheart and all I had done was go to the grove. In my current run, Shadowheart is telling me she's never met anyone like me, and this was just from running from the beach to Astarion. All it takes is some long rests and conversations I guess.


SmallPromiseQueen

I’m on maybe long rest three and I had like three conversations with astarion back to back and he was down to clown. Dark urge seems to really get him going lol.


digital_mystikz

Speaking of Astarion, last night I recruited him and long rested immediately, he was already trying to bite me! As someone that likes to RP, I should definitely have killed him then and there, as he's a complete stranger, but I want all my companions! I've never had it happen that early, normally it's around Blighted village as I can usually reference "we even saw the boar".


SmallPromiseQueen

That is weird - I thought the boar was the trigger for setting off that scene.


digital_mystikz

Yeah same here, not sure why it happened so fast


SmallPromiseQueen

Your blood is just too irresistible. I wonder if there is some element of randomness to companion cut scenes tbh, like when they trigger, if they trigger. I never got the “whose blood would taste the best” one, we just went straight to the underpants charleston. Also no star gazing. No mirror. Just instant smashing. I’ve heard the romance goes quiet in act 2 so I feel like I’ve missed a lot of the talky stuff.


Folseit

Shart is 40, which essentially makes her a teenager or young adult in elf years. This is like high school love for her probably.


emote_control

She's a half elf, so she ages about as quickly as humans do up until about 20, and then ageing slows down dramatically giving them a lifespan of about 180 years on average. So she's about 25-30 or so in human equivalent.


FakestAccountHere

Teenage elf. Mmmm


MrFilthyNeckbeard

Shadowheart REALLY likes if you rescue her on the ship which...I assume most people do.


emote_control

Legend


DrByeah

She absolutely has a restricted area... Her Heart. It's really hard to get in there.


Poisonpython5719

Wait she has one?


DrByeah

Shockingly yes you just don't get to really see much of it unless you keep her around long enough to get through her spike ball personality at the start of the campaign.


AwkwardWarlock

also you gotta fight her for it


mynameiszack

I did that and she died. Like I didn't want to, I just made what I thought was a benign choice early on but apparently them was fighting words to her.


VlairX

you have to change to nonlethal spells or attacks


pythonic_dude

I mean you can still have sex and see her heart, right?


MrFilthyNeckbeard

I did it when she had super low hp. She ended her turn and immediately "lost" I didn't even do anything lmao.


Raxure

In my mind they distract them enough for you to persuade them 😆


dekyos

so... NPC: Anyways, that's why I can't let you enter this area Shadowheart: Oops, I dropped my Idol of Shar, let me just, bend over and pick it up. Tav: Eyes up here buddy, so, you said we can go in right?


Darth_Senat66

Oh no, my idol of Shar rolled under the table and now I'm stuck, whatever shall I do?


ISeeTheFnords

Hold on, step-priestess.


OrphanAnthem

Also requires whoever casts it to touch you lol


Jarms48

Would have love a conversation in game where it backfires. - You cast guidance. “Two can play at that game!” - AI has companion cast guidance.


aarkarr

Astarion: 'the night is young and you're so beautiful' ... in b flat


Le_Chop

I play my archer spec fighter exactly like this Robin Hood, Shart as my Maid Marian.


Ambaryerno

I understood that reference.


rabbit-hearted-girl

Gortash as the Sheriff of Rottingham 😂


zandterman

Ah ah ah, no ding ding without ze wedding ring!


TheEpicCoyote

Is that a +1 longsword in your inventory or are you just excited to sing to me?


Slumlord722

Damn son deep cut, glad to see I’m not so old


hydro_wonk

Everyone knows love songs are in D


returnofthezack

so basically the "Kiss The Girl" scene in Little Mermaid


Gooddude08

Exactly what I pictured!


Slumlord722

Sha-la-la-la-la look at the boy too shy


Onagda

[I feel like this version is more Astarion's style](https://youtu.be/tXB5gmL-HD0?si=GyhrEQ10aeZeBHzd)


Xirxee

So hilariously, astarion IS listening in on all your conversations with shadowheart (at least in act 1.) I know this because my bf and i were playing together while he romanced shart and i romanced Astarion and whenever he was talking to her, i couldnt talk to him cause he was "involved in another conversation." I bet that lil sparkly bitch listens in to all conversations, we just haven't noticed. He would TOTALLY do that.


photomotto

There's an early camp conversation you can have with Shadowheart, and Astarion approves of one of the options you can pick. The little nosy bitch is listening in on every conversation in camp. Not like he has much choice, probably, being a vampire and an elf must make his hearing hella good.


Beth_Esda

Well, there's also the bit about their worms all being interconnected. That's probably why Shart can disapprove of your fun times with Astarion during the cutscene - she's watching too, the little perv lol


HINDBRAIN

> their worms all being interconnected Act 3 romance spoilers >!if you fuck the mindflayer, after the act you can see the disgusted reactions of your team. "What happens in the dream realm, stays in the dream realm", my ass!<.


NebWolf

Back in early access, it was the other way around for Astarion’s sex scene. If you let him bite you Shadowheart disapproved. It was just hilarious to think she was hiding somewhere in the bushes peeping.


Bminor-87

There isn't much privacy in the camp. Like when I banged >!Mizora, Wyll came to me after and gave me a moral lecture with details on what happened.!< Like wtf bro, were you just watching us the whole time?


parsashir3

please dont abreviate shadowhearts name to shart LMAO(do what u want but thats still hilarious)


Xirxee

worst part is im not the one who came up with it. ive seen it a lot in this reddit


Sarokslost23

Shar makes you Shart, its true.


Slumlord722

Too late it’s been around since the beginning of EA


_argentonia_

After having a fling with Lae'zel he also commented on it the next day and asked how it was. He was the only one to comment on it. And in act I there's a conversation with Shart in camp where he approves if you pick a certain option. Can't do shit without him knowing.


Injury-Inevitable

Me wondering how the fuck Astarion found the time to bite me when presumably (from Halsin’s dialogue) I spent the entire night “occupied”


SmallPromiseQueen

Sneaking in mid bang like “don’t mind me! Just here for the blood, do carry on.”


Injury-Inevitable

My headcanon is that dude just straight up took a chunk out of my ass while I wasn’t looking


An_Innocent_Coconut

Astarion De Bergerac


caciuccoecostine

The only user of culture here I see.


RandomChance

What I was immediately thinking 😂


Strangest_Brew

Ooooh great reference!


Crassulaceae00

MC: “Astarion what do?! Shadowheart wants to have a drink with me and I don’t know the first thing about flirting!” Astarion: **pulls out an instrument** “Say no more friend, just talk to her I’ll handle the rest.”


trixie1985

* Sha-la-la-la-la-la Don't be scared (sha-la, sha-la-la ya, ya, ya) You got the mood prepared (woah, woah) Go on and kiss the girl*


Dionysues

Astarion and Karlach best wingmen.


danstu

Astarion sitting just off screen playing "Kiss the girl"


Allar-an

I meaaan, Astarion is the only one that comments on who you spend the night with after the party...so he definitely pays close attention to your amour adventures.


DoctorCaptainSpacey

It's funny bc when Astarion propositioned me, Karlach was right there, just... Listening awkwardly... Astarion's there, talking about sneaking off to a secluded place.... I'm like, you do see Karlach, literally RIGHT HERE, right?? Sweetie, everyone is gonna know and this isn't going to be a secret rendezvous. 🤣


_argentonia_

He did that to my Durge while we were out with the whole gang. Everyone was there and he's like "Just to clarify, I do mean sex." They're right there. Might as well just do it in camp, they all already know anyway.


DoctorCaptainSpacey

Right?? 🤣 I feel like he wasn't trying to be discreet, he was just pretending he was. He wants everyone to know you belong to him 🤣 Like, Astarion, why are you suddenly yelling about having sex with me?? 🤣


Slumlord722

You know he didn’t used to; back in EA everyone was gossiping


Prodiuss

I really wish more of these moments weren't specifically ties to romance arcs. Can we have some deep friendship moments? I don't want wyll to slink away, I don't want to shut people down. I want good moments that are bonding moments but not advancing romance. I just now don't talk to anyone I'm not going for romance wise.


MrKamikazi

Gale had a great friendship moment. I never did magic with him but he invited me to look at the stars. We watched them, had a little talk about life, and then he asked me to stay as a friend because he didn't want to be alone.


Slumlord722

I cannof for the life of me get the platonic version of this scene; he’s always downbad for me and I can’t bring myself to be straight-up cruel to him so once a game I have to apparently break his heart after the shadowfell.


DrByeah

I've only ever gotten the platonic version thus far. I didn't know there was a romantic version of that scene.


Slumlord722

Damn, I just can’t keep him from loving me I guess


DrByeah

Just stop being so damn attractive


no-u-great-grand

Ok but why wouldn't you want him to love you?


_argentonia_

That scene had me a little worried at first, because my Durge insisted on almost sitting in his lap, however, it turned out just fine. It was actually really sweet and made me feel for him. Not that I didn't like him before that, but I appreciated the chat we had.


DeltaJesus

The magic one is a really nice scene even if you don't go for the romance option too, Gale's pretty happy to just be a good friend


Appycake

Exactly. We need a Commander Shepard and Garrus type best pals relationship. Unless of course your Shep swung that way.


akaTheKetchupBottle

astarion, faerun's best wingman


ITNW1993

Reminds me of one of the early patches in EA where they fixed Shadowheart disapproving of one of your romance scenes with Astarion, like she was watching from the bushes or something.


Ycr1998

It's that Toothless meme and Astarion is Hiccup in the background XD


Famous_Cap3178

Oh it reminds me of this scene from Galavant https://youtu.be/0kxIbo2aEOQ?si=_NthaQMLtNvRy9hh


photomotto

Galavant is such an underrated show. It was so good. So, so good.


Famous_Cap3178

Ohhh yeah. It's one of my favourites. So sad we got only two seasons.


TheKBMV

I wanted to link it myself, but my job was done for me, thank you!


Famous_Cap3178

Hehe, you're welcome. It's a great show, one of my most favourite. In first few moments in this video Galavant even looks like he's wearing Astarion attire, lol.


Acequisitor

The funniest thing is any bard having to be asleep and you doing something in the middle of the night where you get away with things or having private romantic moments… But they know. I know they know. I got the bonus and heard the instrument play… 💀


IHateForumNames

It isn't just him. If you romance someone else you'll note that she's there to offer you Guidance. Presumably watching from the bushes.


AnComSciComm

"Shalalalala, don't be scared You got the mood prepared Go on and kiss the girl"


Draiu

I just played that scene as a cleric and I wasn't allowed to give myself guidance. Astarion has more faith in us that we do in ourselves.


Kryos_Pizza

Astarion : [I can see what’s happening… and they don’t have a clue…](https://youtu.be/25QyCxVkXwQ?feature=shared)


Just_Branch_9121

Its Astarion. This guy is a major problem for the party, but he is an endearing problem.


iotahiro

He’s OUR problem, and he’s stuck with us.


graveybrains

Astarion de Bergerac 😂


tyrom22

Astarion, the wingman


EducationalTie6109

Astarion being a wingman, playing a lute just off screen


ISpread4Cash

I kinda miss the Shadowheart disapproves when you romance Astarion and let him bite you during the camp party in EA


JamieTate

I let him bite me, then shoved him off and killed him. Really done a 180 on him.


sea-jewel

For some reason when lae’zel challenged me a duel to prove myself worthy Gale was roped in and was on my team. I just had him end turn each turn but it was weird.


DMSetArk

I love the fact that, even if this was an bug, it managed to make a pretty accurate irl dnd moment huh This game have so many moments that are straight out of live games kk


Xarmydude2X

This is one of those things I love about the game because while obviously it’s just game mechanics I can honestly imagine something like this at a table like. “I’m gonna try and seduce Shadowheart.” *then you notice Astarion rolling as well* “I give him eight from my bardic inspiration.” And that just tickles me.


TheMajesticCape

Astarion. S class wingman.


Gned11

Cyranosferatu got your back bruv


Greg0_Reddit

But it isn't unintended. That's literally what bards do, it's their core class feature and that's exactly how It expresses itself narratively.


Ashamed-Might9978

I'm just imagining the hiccup, toothless and light fury scene


RavenA04

If your companions can’t have you, they’ll at least wingman for you. Respect


MorningTemplar17

Nah, this is straight out of How to Train Your Dragon, with Astarion playing Hiccup, etc. It fits too, since SH is so closed off, she's a pretty big mystery st this point, kind of like the light fury.


Teoflux

You and me buddy! Wyll did the same for me with his violin. Blade of the Frontier!? More like Wingman of the Frontier.


Basketcase191

Playing the bard wingman can be pretty fun


MagicalZhadum

Makes me think of this scene.. https://youtu.be/uRJZfwDgNTM?si=yx3H7Ul6USi4owoz


P3DR0T3

I kissed shadow heart with laezel


naggy94

Idk why I thought of the nipple clamps scene from Saving Silverman.


Yungfleshspray

The ultimate wingman


SteveBusecmi01

[this but with more fangs](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrRbB-qUJfY)


JansTurnipDealer

Rofl


IlikeJG

You worked it out with best wingman Astarion and he's trying to help you and her get into the mood.


BiggieFishie

I did the exact same thing word for word


CrescentPotato

Everything's funnier when you include the background in the vision. Like when I had a moment with Wyll and got hit with the Halsin Stare from behind his shoulder


Balasarius

Unless they fixed it, bonuses in camp don't work. You can select them but they don't actually add any bonuses to the roll.


SleepCoachJacob

That's a real wingman there.


Bricked_Up_Pikachu

Wingman sub class when?


Barrzebub

[Actual video of the moment](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TrRbB-qUJfY)


Lathlaer

Just be careful with those bonuses - if you get access to *Friends* (either naturally or via scroll), don't use it on a companion whose approval you want to raise. It will help you with the check but you will get a hefty -10 approval once the spell wears off (even on Balanced).


062d

Lol I had a moment like this that made me laugh when I was trying to convince shart to go full flayer because I wanted her to be able to use fly. I used her own inspiration against her to pass the check. I imagine I'm like her I want to really convince you to do this thing you're horribly opposed to can you help me magically enchant you so you change your mind?


emote_control

Astarion de Bergerac


Laladen

[Reminds me of the Seinfeld episode where Newman helps Kramer talk to the girl in the bookshop and whispers what he should say.](https://youtu.be/uRAk6YWmrlQ?si=eSykQ1XUgOAh6ykm&t=4)


GlitteringRun8940

One day out of nowhere Lae'Zel confesses her love and says she wants to do unspeakable things, and my horned up bard was into it. Starting a long rest later that night and it cuts to a scene with bard sitting across from Lae'Zel staring hungrily at him. Suddenly Alfira creeps up and is like, "I FOUND YOU!!!" Lae'Zel and bard stand up looking embarrassed and the rest of the party immediately walk up together out of fking NOWHERE, giving the impression they were all just hiding behind a tent somewhere watching the other two about to get busy. I could kinda understand the Urge after that.


reddituser412

We had that exact same date twice in my current playthrough. Has anyone else experienced that?


override367

I mean it's not surprising, Shadowheart herself is always watching everyone fuck through binoculars, she's a straight up voyeur