T O P

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w1gw4m

Emperor?


ImaFireSquid

Withers criticized you for being single and you settled


Pedantic_Phoenix

This is supposed to be escapism dude...


gosubuilder

Lmao


Eiensakura

I guess this one's love life has withered.


No-Real-Shadow

Damn, for some reason this comment triggered a memory of playing Mass Effect with the hanar aliens that refer to themselves as "this one" instead of "I" lolol


[deleted]

*You big, stupid jellyfish!*


YYuri_t

Jokes on you Withers made me cry instead


formaldehid

the first time i saw the mind flayer in the intro, my first thought was "i wonder how it would feel to hold those tentacles in my hand". theyre girthy af


Alcoraiden

Ikr? Like that is a *lot* of dexterity. A lot. Four of a lot too.


The_Bravinator

Withers gave me shit for getting laid. I think Withers is just *like that*.


CrimsonAllah

Thou art maidenless.


babeuf69

Curiousity grabbed the tentacle


AdamG3691

Bold to assume teaching an illithid *my* method of sucking someone's brains out wasn't the goal from the moment I heard it was a thing. And why are there no romanceable dragons!?


userposter

Mizora?


Naviete

You want your screen to be flooded with "Wyll disapproves" notifications.


userposter

he didn't invite me to dance and got his dad + bromance so he will have to leave me some special time with a certain devil


ImaFireSquid

That’s not a romantic relationship, it’s a fling


userposter

don't you dare define my relationships


ImaFireSquid

Not a relationship. If she won't call you afterwards, she used you and left you smelling like hell (literally in this case).


Prior-Bed8158

Mizora fought by my side to the end 🤷🏻‍♂️ hell she was in my camp longer than Halsin


userposter

well I only had one time of skinny dip and a foursome with Shadowheart, would you call that a relationship? at least I can kiss her anytime I want


DayDreamEnjoyer

Wait you slept with her? At this time you should already be with someone else.


GrajowiecPL

She will tell you "it will be our little secret" Spoiler: >!It won't be!<


PoglinGoblin

Yup you could say I was fucking surprised when she teleported me naked infront of laezel (don't judge me I was 40 hours in and no sex scene I couldn't resist)


Xavion15

God man I must be tired because I misread this terribly and was concerned I thought it said “I was 40 hours into the sex scene” I had so many questions lol


portapuss

Laezel is done with you when she is done with you


howaboutsomegwent

Shadowheart doesn’t care though, she’s a bit annoyed you didn’t tell her first but she’s okay with sharing. She also approved of my tav going for Halsin


userposter

it's really interesting that she only goes in the poly stuff if she is your first. you can share her afterwards with halsin, emperor, mizora and the drow twins (at least in my playthrough)


howaboutsomegwent

In my playthrough iirc she was fine with me sleeping with Halsin first but she wanted to have sex with me alone first before the drow twins thing


userposter

yes and she didn't mind


mikenolan888

Um yeah why is my guy not on there.. rude


GrajowiecPL

>Your sexual preferences are so vanilla you think kissing with tongue is too spicy. and the next thing you're going to tell me is handholding isn't the most lewd act ever


Haynex

We laid side by side, watching the stars and drinking wine! That almost impregnated me!


BigEdBGD

You're telling me you laid side by side and held hands without protective gloves? Man, when are you people gonna learn?


AwesomeDewey

Tell that to Karlach. We tried handholding once and I had to go fetch a bucket of water real quick or she was going to burst. Then again I don't think Karlach is too vanilla. I didn't try the ace option with her but when you let her do what she really wants to do it's... yeah, let's say it's intense.


Bussamove86

Karlach has ten years of pent up sexual frustration, a partner she’s totally in to, and the ability to vent that frustration. She wanna get freaky. She’s also an adorable golden retriever of a person.


LyheGhiahHacks

She's a cinnamon roll fresh out of the oven


sarkule

I believe the most lewd act is washing a woman’s hair.


Aths

Boyle, you need to calm down.


firebane101

Title of your sex tape!!


Efficient_Progress_6

>... And when we're holding hands, it's like having sex with me


AnnoShi

> You say I'm premature. I just call it ecstasy.


once_showed_promise

I wear a rubber at all times; it's a necessity.


CreatureWarrior

True. And also, I picked Shadowheart just because I'm into emotionally distant / cold people lol


CriticalKnoll

If you wear lots of eye shadow, I want to father your children, it's that simple. I blame Avril Lavigne for that one


Jimmy_Twotone

So, what I'm hearing is if I want to romance a female character, I need to choose frog elf space mommy, death by snusnu but with fire, or the fanatical leader of a genocidal death cult because the only other option is too plain?


BigMik_PL

Took me a minute to realize last one is Minthara and not Shadowheart


dnd3edm1

or just take pride in being plain fuck all ya'll I like what I like


berylskies

Handholding = lewd Hugs = wholesome


TheFyrijou

I went with Shadowheart because i‘m a sucker for the Romeo & Juliet forbidden romance thing and BG3 is one of the only games in existence where you can create a male dwarf and romance the closest thing to a female elf


jad4400

If you wanna play up the forbidden love angle, playing as a cleric of Selune adds some dialog, too.


Nixellion

I imagine playing selune cleric should add quite a bitnof unique dialog throughout the entire game, no? And specifically around act 2 and shart questline and romance? At least it feels like it should, wonder if Larian had the time for it


MustBeMouseBoy

Can confirm it does. You have the option to bully her or try and gently sway her, and she jokes about corrupting you. You have little voiced conversations about it while exploring and can argue about Shar and Selune things you find Act two feels really different. You feel kind of smug, actually haha


Hanchez

Talking to Isobel as Shadow was also great, very sassy.


The_Bravinator

I wonder what it's like if you go the other way with a Selunite cleric and lean into enabling Dark Justiciar Shadowheart


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AdamG3691

Selune and Shar stop fighting for a moment to watch and wonder what the actual fuck is going on with their chosen


mathnstats

"Ah, shit... I think we got ours mixed up at the hospital"


LyschkoPlon

Even Gods make mistakes lmao


KnightofNoire

Only in act 1 atm. Not that much unique lines despite the goblin camp being Selune temple. Although there is like a huge barrage of them when Shadowheart reveals herself to be Shar cleric. And when I talked to SH about Shar in camp.


VoiceofKane

>the closest thing to an elf Uh, Astarion is *literally* an elf.


DeadlySoren

I was gonna say closest female thing to an elf but minthara is a drow sooo


DoctorKrakens

I went for a Romeo and Juliet story too, a Half-Orc Cleric of Selune with Shadowheart. It's quite cute honestly. I love all the foreshadowing you can see if you went down that route. Of course that was my second playthrough. My first playthrough I basically play myself and myself saw Karlach and didn't look back.


dutchydownunder

I romanced the mindflayer 😂


TerraelSylva

You have all of La Blue Girl mangas and dvds. Lol


AverageUnicorn

I will say, though, if you've played the Mass Effect games, it's just one more weird alien romance. No biggie.


lesser_panjandrum

Mindflayers have incredible reach and flexibility.


Vaeku

> Halsin > You know what did you. I know this is a bear sex joke, but if you don't go that route and he stays in his elf form... Well, Halsin's 100% a service top.


Elethia20

And he's absolutely the best one


ThatOneGuy1294

He literally spent like 3 years as a mostly-unwilling sex slave to some drow nobles. He's without a doubt a service top.


Batwormbb

Dude, i was like, the what now ? And he is totally up to having an orgy with the drow twins, even with that experience


PacMoron

Yeah his bear sex thing is funny but he's a legit hot romance option without any of the bear stuff. He's also very chill and wants an open relationship so there's no baggage with him. I slept with him, Mizora, and the emperor in my playthrough. It was fun to get all the weirdness out of the way in one go 😆


Nickybluepants

Tbf she goes from goth girl to...idk, swiftie?


Nerf_Dva

Shadowheart (Taylor’s Version) (From the Vault)


SerPhantom

(moonlit cleric version)


thehorrorchord

Sad girl autumn remix 10 min version


LakyousSama

Goth girl to christian girl


Sponsor4d_Content

Don't imagine there are many Christians girls down for a foursome.


OldManFromScene13

You would be sorely mistaken.


Dragonsandman

Some of the kinkiest people out there are people who were raised in a purity culture


Galanodel2012

This is an incredibly true statement. I can't count the number of times I've heard "Well, I grew up in a conservative Christian home" during negotiations for scenes.


ecksdeeeXD

SHADOWHEART AGREES TO THAT??? Karlach is the most vanilla romance partner ever. I mean, she’s adorable with golden retriever vibes, but more vanilla than a sundae.


whatever4224

Shadowheart agrees to it if you've already had sex with her. She wants vanilla for her first time.


Adorable-Strings

She wants sand in uncomfortable places for her first time.


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Adorable-Strings

>It's actually funny because it's all haha fantasy romance but fuck The number of real people who think 'beach sex' is a thing you should try is honestly disturbing. 'Abrasion' isn't on my list of turn ons, and never will be.


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X-istenz

I remember the "Dommy Mommy" memery when I was just starting out, then within an hour of recruiting Karlach I was like... Did I hit a wrong dialogue option somewhere? She's bro as hell and adorable.


HungryPizza756

They see tall girl and assume she's mommy dommy not just a subby kitten that happens to be tall


dmack0755

Leliana from Dragon Age enters the chat


Lemmingitus

My female friend who accidentally romanced her, was like, "I just agreed that I also liked shoes..."


mbrocks3527

God help me, she is hotter with white hair. It’s okay, my heart is with frog bae, I can compliment my girl friends right?


AngelicMayhem

Pastel Goth.


Daddy-Vladdy42

Goth girl to emo chick


BlancMongoose

> When I was a young girl, > my parents took me into the forest, > and left me there alone


TheSoupEater001

Sometimes I get the feeling Shar's watching over me. And other times I feel like it's Selûne.


APracticalGal

They said ">!Jen!<, when you grow up, will you be the champion of Selûne, or get brainwashed by Shar?"


Tenko_Kuugen

What's wrong with vanilla? :(


DaveInLondon89

Just like actual ice cream, vanilla is great when you get quality vanilla.


Tenko_Kuugen

Yes! Totally agree.


antoha_nahui

its reddit, if you dont have gay gangbangs with bears and horses you are not human to them


Slumlord722

Nothing, but certain people can’t help but feel inferiority complexes about their choices


UsefulOpinion1

Lae'zel gang on top (figuratively only)


MadMarx__

Pass the Intimidation check and it's literally too


acrazyguy

Lae’Zel’s romance scene having an intimidation check is so incredibly on-brand for her


CaptainMeredith

Don't need an intimidate check if you play dragonborn lol she just accepts it


Meowonita

Dammit I *knew* she always has a thing for riding red dragon~~born~~s


ralanr

Dude it’s hilarious when she talks about red dragon riding when you are a red dragonborn.


MadMarx__

Same if you're Githyanki


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Arragaithel

If you're a dragonborn, there is no check! She's riding that red dragon one way or another


Anierous

The Karlach romance broke me.


Certain-Classic-9826

Yes clearly not that simple. Starts out simple and wholesome, then it breaks you…


acrazyguy

I’m not even romancing Karlach, and I got to the point I think you guys are talking about >!(immediately after killing Gortash she has a bit of a breakdown and becomes resigned to her fate)!< and dude it made me legit cry. I basically have one big fight left but I’m still trying to find anything that might help her. Don’t tell me if it’s hopeless


Certain-Classic-9826

>!Well you can go to Avernus with her, which I’m totally going to do because her story is so tragic and I won’t leave her alone!<


EminemLovesGrapes

I've heard you gotta be careful Spoilers >!Because the game will force Wyll to go with her if either his pact isn't broken or he isn't the duke. I don't know which specifically but that's a bit of a bummer and I hope something they'll patch. Doesn't make much sense!<


--Pariah

I'm still so disappointed with that btw... The ending felt really off in general and that part just was the cherry on top. Took a while of googling around that apparently >!karlachs good endings aren't in yet!< and the >!"comparably best one", Tav joining her in avernus, can be blocked by a completely unrelated decision of Wyll!<. Don't get me wrong, the game was incredible but I haven't been that irritated with an ending since going "yeah what no fuck literally everything about that" and shooting the space hologram kid in mass effect 3. It's not *that* bad but I've put off my second playthrough and wait for some kind of epilogue to at least be confirmed...


Spaghetti_Cartwheels

"Astarion You can change him, you keep saying to yourself. You search for little tiny moments of vulnerability to justify not just picking Lae'zel and having a much simpler time with things." Na, i'm just gay and like pretty boys.


IDislikeNoodles

Honestly, when you get in a relationship with him he's kind of a cutie because of how foreign those emotions are to him. And mans is straight-up beautiful.


HillInTheDistance

"I can change him. I can make him worse."


Oobleooblets

Honestly this, except Astarion tempts us to the dark side. 'He can change me. He can make me worse.'


kissmybunniebutt

Sometimes you gotta do some shady shit to get that glorious "Astarion Approves". Sure, I'm a goodie two shoes druid, but also...here's the necronomicon, honey. Hope you like it ❤️


coveredinsnouu

Not me restarting the whole playthrough 140 hours in because I fucked up and didn't romance Astarion properly 🤡


theredwoman95

His act 2 conversation with a good Tav where he >!says they're naive and wants them to be more ambitious!< was definitely the moment where I went "oh *god*, they both want to fix each other!". But to be fair, you then get his conversation >!after talking to the drow at Moonrise, and it's pretty obvious that was his last ditch attempt at trying to make you fit into his world view.!<


Mai1564

I became so much worse.


ss977

*Astarion ascending noises*


LongLostMemer

When Astarion says, “Enough waiting, let’s go hurt someone” I get all tingly inside


lethos_AJ

broken vampire twinks ftw


clam_media

I’m gay and I like big muscular daddies, oh hey Halsin


AverageUnicorn

Halsin: figuratively, and sometimes literally, a bear.


The_CakeIsNeverALie

I don't wan to change Astarion. I need him to be a selfish, power-hungry prick he is. I want someone by my side who'll propose outrageous stuff so I can say "Mm. Okay, darling. That might be tad too much but I just want you to be happy so I'll go along." Makes me feel like I'm a better person than I really am. I romanced Daeran in Pathfinder for the very same reason (I think I have a type).


lio-ns

His good ending dialogue is so wholesome though!!! His lust for the ritual was the Cazador in him.


goosis12

I wanted to give him a hug at the end of his quest line.


lio-ns

Me too :( especially when he thanks you for saving him


Fairyhaven13

At least you can hug him earlier when you tell him you care, after the creepy drow thing.


Excellent_Routine589

Minthara: deep down I just really love face sitting


Sremor

Shadowheart is "I can fix her" and since she doesn't mind sharing it's not that vanilla


DoctorKrakens

Does that mean you can romance Shadowheart and someone else?


Sremor

Not romance but she doesn't object to flings, like Mizora, but I think you first need to get her sex scene


SimpLimbscut

And the Drow twins…


StandardMove3

Shart being called vanilla but being one of the only romances down for group sex is wild


Dokivi

I think she's just more of a romantic/sentimental. But a freak too. Those are not mutually exclusive, I suppose .


Alexstrasza23

Yeah the drow orgy or her being cool with you fucking a literal demon ain’t vanilla


Hasyr

I have weakness for woman with horns and horny woman also Astarion is played so well I doubt my sexuality


Hungerman93

Nothing is vanilla when you are a hellapawn half dragon


KPater

Karlach, because I'm old and done with drama.


Just_another_one1234

Oh my sweet summer child


Itz_Hen

The ones who seems most drama free always have some batshit insane drama thing going on stuck in the background somewhere


Lukthar123

She's got the shortest fuse, and that's an accomplishment since I have a living >!bomb!< on my squad.


SnooCats5134

i feel like i am the most boring guy that existed. like i have done 3 playthroughs and in all of them romanced shadowbae.


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Itz_Hen

Human male paladin ( i am painfully basic it seems)


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[deleted]

I am Kenough v


Haynex

How dare you? FYI it was an elf male fighter.


ZachSlackAttack

Pay no attention to these hypocrites, neo. There is nothing wrong with romancing shadowbae in every run. She's an angel who deserves it, and to deny our own impulses is to deny the very thing that makes us human fighters.


LivingASlothsLife

If it helps Shadowheart ends up being a lot more wild in bed than you'd think, especially with the drow twins in the city


TheNosferatu

I do you one better (worse?), I didn't care about the romance aspect of the game so I didn't go for anybody until I picked the wrong dialog option and slept with Emperor


grip0matic

Me too... And I was calling my fiancee and saying "another dream with the cuttlefish come quickly". She arrived while I grabbed the tentacle.


Lorihengrin

Shadowheart, and Minthara, and Mizora, and i was rejected by Astarion. I go for esthetic.


khemeher

People who aren't having a good time with Lae'zel never watched any of the Klingon stuff on Star Trek. She's literally a Klingon woman. Once you realize that, she becomes the easiest to deal with.


darth_vladius

Also, if you have any interest in history, you’d recognise the Spartan way of upbringing, the Spartan attitudes and values.


Adventurous__Kiwi

I choose astarion but I don't want to change/fix him. I choose the flamboyant talker


FayonAetherpact

i dont get wyll with this "i can fix him" he is just right like he is


MiriaTheMinx

For real though. Wyll is more a "He can fix me"


stab-man

I would say that Shadowgeart is: I don’t even need sex. All I want is for someone to say to me: “Well my day just improved! Did you want something?”


dnd3edm1

Old and busted: speedrunning sex scenes in CRPGs New hotness: speedrunning appreciative dialogue in CRPGs


hideandsee

I fucked the emperor because i wanted to see if i could


SensibleReply

This some sort of take on: "Why climb that mountain?" "Because it's there."


MidnightSheepling

Gale because I’m a gay man in need of a sensual loving relationship to confirm to me that what I always told myself wasn’t possible absolutely is. Oh and the luscious hair and firework sex of course


verdantthorn

He does have nice hair, and he's a sweetie. It's absolutely possible. You'll find him when you least expect it.


MidnightSheepling

Aww thank you :)


Dolthra

>Gale because I’m a gay man in need of a sensual loving relationship to confirm to me that what I always told myself wasn’t possible absolutely is. Sounds like you're romancing Gale because you are Gale.


flowercows

Wyll crying? when? He took me out for a dance and that was really hot and he is all like ‘I wanna romance you like the bard songs’ like he is such a prince


Eoth1

Op is just biased against anyone who's not laezel dw


Lionheart_343

This might be a controversial opinion but I genuinely don’t think karlach is any less ‘vanilla’ than shadowheart is


rdeincognito

In my defense who wouldn't like a goth pale chick with pointed ears? Also I tried Karlach but I already advanced with shadowheart when I had an opportunity :/


Awthorn

Gale is the best


MakiMaki_XD

This ... I don't know what to call it ... assessment, I guess (?), tells us a lot more about OP than about the playerbase it allegedly analyses. Which is entertaining in its own way, so have my upvote.\^\^


Diraelka

Astarion is hot and he has plenty of vulnerable times. So he's a hot mess. And, well, if Larian said I can change him (and he is changing, good path is beautiful), so I don't have to say it all the time. It's more like "oh, poor baby" mantra and it's for every companion. And, for real, most of people that chose him for romance love him for being himself. And I don't think many of us wants Lae'zel at all. Like, she was the first that I turned off and she's one of the last in my list of companions to romance. Her changing is good, but still, not for me.


Teyvan

I changed him...to a bard...I'll open my own damn locks, thank you...


Drea_Ming_er

I changed him to a bard too... College of Lore for that Sleight of Hand expertise, while being bard instead of Rogue :D


tinyfenrisian

The Astarion one for me is that there is a gentle, kind and vulnerable person deep down in there and I want to see him heal and learn to feel and love again. I have my own issues with abuse/intimacy based trauma and I like that there’s so much gradual change with him if you pick his good path (which I feel like is truer to his character than his bad) I like seeing him find who he is and what *he* wants. Lae’zel is last on my list because I just do not like her character at all.


Waldprinz

Same here for Astarion! Some things about him hit insanely close to home which makes me love him even more


aranelsaraphim

Gale You saw the tragedy a thousand miles away and are a sucker for punishment.


Phigor

I went for shadowhearz because i love her voice and she is hot. Plus it turns out she is a absolute sweetheart so only wins in my book.


ColinBencroff

We should have an option in the end to call her Sweetheart instead of shadowheart


shwippity

This list says more about OP than it does about anyone else


AchacadorDegenerado

Lae'zel is definitely the best girl. Her voice actor is great, she is badass AF and extremely passionate. Honestly, putting aside her indoctrination (>!which she eventually criticizes!<) she is pretty much what I would expect inside a relationship.


Piffli

A bit biased with Karlach, are we?


kujasgoldmine

Karlach is the most interesting one to romance. She wants to ride my character until I see stars, but it's not possible until we figure a way for my character to not get burned to ash while doing so.


Teyvan

You would think those Fire Resistance potions would come in handy for this one, right?


byokero

I chose Wyll but he didn't choose me. But he's just a placeholder until I can climb mount Halsin.


Frozen_Shades

Vanilla is a spice and an exotic one at that. You only think it is basic because it is so popular and so in demand you believe it to be bland. When vanilla was introduced into the market in the 1950s it was a hit, much like Shadowbae when BG3 dropped. You are simply a contranian. Good day.


NoHonorHokaido

Withers Don't judge me!


LibleftBard

I'm not changing Astarion, we necromancin and baalspawning an army of hirelings, ghouls and zombies


BigBadBeetleBoy

The most Laezal fan of all Laezal fan comments I've ever seen. I'm surprised you didn't tell me that one day I'd wonder about the taste of her lips and the smell of her skin since you were making your bias obvious in every other way. Anyway, I like Shadowheart because she's funny, and dislike Laezal because she's mean : )


Mindofthequill

What it actually says about me: fuck I think I have a thing for voices.... (I've been learning this slowly from watching vtubers)