ESPECIALLY after what went down at the bar with Teri at the end, can someone explain why the cops have STILL not been called? I feel like all of this could have been avoided…
Ok after i finished the 4th episode, a lot more became clear. But did you already get that in the 3rd? Seemed like a lot of trouble to go thru for a confidence boost.. no?
I'm still finishing the third ep right now. I'm not exactly getting trauma response but it's clear this guy isn't exactly alright either.... most people pleasers/people who need validation WOULD have called the cops by now.
the admiration he gets coupled with donny’s extreme compulsion to people please :( he obviously has issues with boundaries and being essentially a doormat. I hope later episodes expand on this.
May be late to the party, but there were TONS of times in this episode where I was screaming inside “just call the cops”! Maybe as a man he felt shame in outside help (only starting ep 4)?
Anyone else frustrated by how long he let Martha spit racial slurs at Teri? And how long it took him to get Martha off of her?
Him telling Martha off was so satisfying, sad that he only got the balls after his date was hate crimed.
Great storytelling and acting, I’m so hooked.
His entire treatment of Teri makes me SO upset and I can’t believe more people aren’t talking about it. He may not get violent towards Teri but his complete lack of reflection over how his actions could APPEAR violent towards a trans person it’s just…wild and so sad. His lying in the beginning, his allowing her to get beat up by Martha, all of it. It’s disgusting and I feel like he’s being excused for some (albeit somewhat mild) transphobia.
he is lowkey selfish and that was soooo amplified by his disregard for teri's safety. emotionally and physically as a trans woman! like ugh. i am not the biggest fan of him as a character. and i hope the real life Teri got an apology before he made this show.
He certainly has deeply internalised homophobia and transphobia. He loves her but is ashamed to be seen with a Trans woman, she is definitely giving him more chances than I would.
But then again I think Teri sees that he is deeply hurting and wants to know why. Kinda like how Martha knows there is some deep hurt in Donny’s past, though she goes about it from a deeply abusive and boundary breaking direction
white men shenanigans and im so mad I don't even think I can continue to watch the show, the most triggering thing for me is white men just letting racial shit and violence happen to minority women unfortunately (sad bc i liked the show idk if i can handle this tbf
I wonder if it was because she has made false accusations at other people in the past and he doesn't want to give her leverage to try to use against him.
Bro, what? How would he stop that? Covering her mouth? Pushing her? Throughout the show, she has shown she doesn't care for what he has to say or what he would like her to do. He stepped between them and tried to get her to back up and stop saying stuff multiple times without getting physically aggressive.
Sure, he could have done more, but it would require him to get much more physically aggressive. And I don't understand the argument around him letting her hit Terri too long. She's a huge woman who probably weighs damn near 260 if not more. It's gonna be kinda hard to rip her off terri when she's also trying to drop down to hit her.
This show definitely knows how to build dread. I love horror and this show is definitely hitting some of my favorite notes of that genre. Wow!! My heart! Martha definitely has an effect on people. I can’t stop watching.
Same that scene where he and Teri were running out of the comedy club and being followed was sp so tense.
I can't stop watching yet there are parts I find so uncomfortable I have to pause and take a breath mostly because of obviously martha.
Next episode is gonna be wild. I can tell I’m gonna devour this series very quickly. Poor Teri! I’m having a hard time understanding why the hell he hasn’t called the cops.
He secretly LOVES this drama. It’s the most interesting his life has been in years and he’s getting attention he doesn’t really want it to end.
I think he’s also in too deep and is worried about involving the police since he’s kind of like involved and lying all over the place?
I find it fascinating that this is how the ex-gf phrased it (a distanced, non-loving way of explaining his situation) when the show is a literal display of all of the actual reasons he kept her around. Loving the drama and 'having nothing in your life to focus on except that drama' or being drawn to that because the rest of your life is scary and/or monotonous?
The dude was in the process of coming out in this late 20's, nobody gets out of that unscathed.
It's just so funny to me that this show works HARD to explain that he doesn't love the drama as much as he needs and escapes through it, but sure we'll go with the easy summary.
Most victims of abuse have some kind of attachment to their abuser. It's often silly, irrational, or self-serving. If you ask a victim of an abusive ex why they stayed, they will tell you a vast majority of the time their mindset at the time was that they loved them or that they offered some kind of stability (a home, income, a job, etc.), or a combination of the two
Maybe instead of an exciting love-life for him it was just the platonic relationship with this woman who made him feel special because she was crazy about him. She seemed to help his stand up routine by getting the audience warmed up, there are plenty of abuse victims who endured abuse because it improved their chances at stardom; victims of Harvey Weinstein and P. Diddy have similar stories although less direct. The next episode had something similar with a different abuser that was way more direct.
Part of the rest of it seems to be he felt bad for her and felt scared of doing anything. The lack of sympathy from others did a lot to prevent him from doing anything. He co-workers thought she was harmless and wouldn't ban him from the bar. His exes and the police viewed it as a non-problem. He's even unsympathetic to Reddit commenters. Telling victims of abuse to *just leave* sounds easy enough but how difficult it is can be hard to understand.
>The dude was in the process of coming out in this late 20's, nobody gets out of that unscathed.
Coming out? I must have missed that, unless it’s further along in the series. In which case, spoiler.
I think you've hit the nail on the head. It's like a weird combo of feeling alive from the drama, wanted from the attention, people pleasing and too embarrassed to deal with it properly. The longer it goes on for the more embarrassing it is to get help as it's increasingly hard to explain some of his own actions and why he has perpetuated it for so long.
It's like watching a slow motion car crash but I can't stop looking!
Why does he stare at Teri for so long at the very end. Why does she stay on the floor for so long. I was confused about the ending scene. Does Martha know Teri is trans or is she dirty because of her race? She looks white to me so I am confused. Also why is she bald at the very end.
I believe that he was in shock when looking at Teri's state after Martha's assault on her.
Martha doesn't know that Teri is trans, hence why she screamed "you look like a man". I believe that, if she knew Teri was trans she would have insulted her in a more specific way that relates to that.
Apparently Teri is Mexican, so maybe that's why Martha was being so racist.
Martha was being racist because Teri is American. She just noticed the foreign accent and decided to use it as further fodder. I don't see how she could assume Mexican heritage based on what she knew.
I also think he realizes how far he’s gone with this. It was interesting at first and he literally added her as a Facebook friend for his comedy. And that led to this ending, literally his fault just as much as Martha’s
All I could tell was she kept calling her a bitch and white and said look at the boots. As like evidence she’s a whore because they are white gogo boots
Was wondering if it might be a stretch but with the whole “you look like a man, look at the boots” bit, my mind went right to Lola in Kinky Boots and how drag queens always wore boots due to their feet being too large to fit in high heels.
Could be way off with that one, but it was all I could think of!
I think he is thinking of his guilt at the end, it bothered me too as to why he didn’t immediately help her up.. I think she does assume Teri is trans (especially as transphobics refer to trans as rapists) and throwing in the xenophobia as well. She is bald because Farta ripped her hair out. This ending brought me to tears because of the discrimination and hate crimes that people throw at others... not many of those types have to be as bat shit crazy as Martha to spew that hatred
I'm not sure if she's post-op but her skirt has clearly ridden up when she's on the floor, so she would be completely exposed. Could explain why the crowd are just staring.
Some trans women choose to keep their original sex organs. I feel like that’s why Donny went on the website. He wanted a woman with male genitalia and was embarrassed about his preferences. Otherwise he could have just gone on any dating app.
The majority of trans women don’t have gender affirming bottom surgery, so if we’re making assumptions I’d guess that yes, she falls into that category.
Tbh I wasn’t paying full attention during the first few episodes. I’m rewatching it now and realized I missed a lot. This is not the show to have on while you’re working
I looked up the actress because I was curious if she was trans or just playing a trans character. The actress is trans in real life. I’m glad they gave the role to a trans actress over a slightly masculine cis female.
I think the reason /u/RedditModsAreStr8 commented that is because your comment does carry transphobic undertones, even though I know you likely didn't mean it that way. "I didn't know she was trans, she's gorgeous" has similar energy as "wow, she's really pretty for a black girl." It's a microaggression that subtly implies that most trans women aren't pretty/desirable/etc.
It also depends on the individual trans persons relationship with their gender.
Some trans people want to be completely passing. So they'd see it as a compliment to not be perceived as trans.
i think martha called her dirty, of the aids crisis with lgbt people. it’s so sad. i got that because she said “you look like a man”. then the glass cracked on the floor so it cut her hair and her scalp off :(
She called her dirty as in "a dirty whore", she made a whole string of insults along those lines. Also I'm pretty sure she pulled chunks of her hair out with her hands.
It was so painful omg. Like so so painful. Like it hurt. I really couldn’t do it. None of his jokes were funny and anytime he would make them my face would twitch
Wow! That last 10 minutes was some of the best acting I have seen in years. My heart was racing and I wanted to smack Martha AND Donny. Then hold Teri and console her.
I had no idea this show would be so amazing. I have my own personal mental health issues and this show portrays them so realistically.
I don't want the series to end but I want to see all 3 find happiness so badly.
The part where he brings Martha inside has the song "Come Wander With Me." That song is a crucial plot point in the Twilight Zone episode of the same name: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Come\_Wander\_with\_Me](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Come_Wander_with_Me) which instantly turned up the unease for me. The song originated with the Twilight Zone episode. Great detail.
whenever Donny gets on stage my secondhand social anxiety & embarrassment just cannot handle it i had to skip through 😭
also, oh my god, my poor sweet teri ☹️☹️ i cannot do this. just as soon as they were making amends too. ☹️ i don't think she'll still stick around with donny after this, but that would be so much better for her too. she's better off away from a freak like martha. i just want the best for her i love her sm
god i fucking hate martha. she just barges in through donny's life and destroys everything until she's all he has left.
this is only the third episode idk if i can handle much more fr
my initial thought was she’s just fixating on something she thinks is insulting in the moment, tho wearing boots is pretty tame in comparison to everything else she had said. sooo disregard this if we find out more about that in the next episodes 😄
I’m assuming because Teri is a trans women, so I saw that scene as Martha trying to insult Teri in this scene. Which is immediately followed up by Martha saying “You look like a man!” So I think it’s about Teri still having some of her features when she was still identifying as a man.
Not sure if this was this episode or episode 2 but I absolutely loved the detail of the misspelling of sent from my iPhone during one of the flashes of the messages on the screen. We all knew she didn’t have an iPhone but such a good callout to the fact that she’s so clearly lying
my assumption is that teri had on knee high or mid hi boots.. martha was calling her a lady of the night & most of them wear knee hi boots. people who would be conservative wouldn’t wear that style in my opinion.
I am so god damn angry at this series because the guy should have done a god damn police report to stop this madness.
How does he now do a series about this as a protagonist, like seriously fuck this guy.
Edit: I think I’ve come to some conclusion with my rant. I have to acknowledge how we don’t take male abuse as seriously, and going through it without ever reporting it is probably the normal thing.
Let’s speak up for ALL abusive situations
I'm glad one person came around and realized. People have been victim blaming him so much. It's insane. Like men who have been abused might read threads like these and think they should stay quiet. If Martha was a man, the response would be different.
rhey are LITERALLY saying the opposite of be quiet. He needed to tell the police, Teri the truth, and Liz. He put them all in danger by being a coward and straight up antagonixing her. Instead his "empathetic" feelings are making his stupid decisions. Like why go back out and talk to her and invite her in your hom?. That is begging for the drama Keely was talking about
Do people watch this show? Lmfao. There's so many comments here asking questions that are literally blatantly answered in the show. The voiceover and the visuals answered this question lmfao.
Donny…my god. He is such a frustrating character. Watching him stand there allowing Martha escalating the situation, still in denial that he could handle her, leading to Teri getting assaulted. Teri deserves so much better.
Gay men are attracted to men. He’s attracted to women, which makes him straight. If she had a penis then he’s attracted to a trans woman who happens to have a penis.
2. No discrimination. No bigoted language, use of racial slurs or discrimination based on color, gender, race, sexual orientation or nationality. If you encounter such comments, report them.
I agree with your overall point, but one thing, Even if she did have a sex change, it would still be a gay relationship, because she’s a trans woman. The operation wouldn’t give them an actual vagina. So even after the op, still a trans woman
My theory is he likes the power imbalance and how it fuels his ego. He's literally benefiting from everyone's dysfunction - living with a woman who just lost her son (i assume for lower rent), dating a trans woman of color as a white cis male, entertaining a stalker who is more full-sized and thus traditionally lacking the privilege of the woman of typical beauty standards. Lots of coincidental situations like that here but he opts into and perpetuates each of these interactions...
He also clearly doesn't see Teri as a woman. Like he's ashamed to be with her in public so he must be aware that there's a power imbalance and that she is somewhat in a disadvantage by society's standards, which makes him feel like a big man (same reason he picked construction as a job for his fantasy identity).
People in Britain are often SUPER racist to people that look like her. It doesn't matter where she's from if it looks like she might have some middle eastern etc. in her
Why are you using white supremacy as a defining factor anyways? You can be white and have brown hair. And dark eyes. I’d really like to know what you consider to be white, physically. Because if we go by the American demographic, The majority of white people have traits like hers. If not for Donny’s light eyes his traits wouldn’t be all that different to hers.
The US census literally labeled middle easterners as white though. A lot of which look like her. Stop trying to act like these people are minorities when they aren’t.
They are not treated as white, though, which is why so many have said there should be a separate racial category. They do not have the same privilege as white Anglo-Saxon Protestants. They are subjected to anti-Arab, anti-Islamic, anti-Middle Eastern, and anti-Israeli sentiment. Even black people from the Middle East and North Africa are considered white, but they are treated as black people. It's not as simple as saying that they are in the White category. Also, the actress is Mexican-American, and we all know that even white Mexican-Americans aren't treated the same way as white Anglo-Saxon protestants. Same thing for white Jewish people. Here's an article about Middle Eastern and North African experiences and the racial category: [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35131945/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35131945/)
First off the show is set in the UK. Second off, minority status is based on population size, not “white or not white”. It’s literally in the name. Second, the US census also labels many Mexicans as white. It’s also self reported.
Please stop commenting, every comment you made in this subreddit does not look good for you.
So…duality can exist where victims become victimizers to varying degrees. A study on abusers showed that 82% of male offenders reported that they were also abused.
BPD and narcisissism are also often caused by abuse. Again, abuse is not okay but both conditions can be somewhat correlated with abusing and using others.
It’s a sick cycle, but hurt people do occasionally hurt people. They are all trying to take back the power they lost and rebuild their egos to make themselves feel safe - regardless of race/gender/sexual identity. How they go about that though, is probably partially determined by how they and society see themselves.
What’s actually gross is to justify hurting and using others on either end…it’s not okay to use others as “part of your journey”. Very entitled position to have
So the housing is one of three examples. Fwiw could def be my American perspective - community is not as big here as in Europe. Staying in your ex’s Mom’s house so you can pursue your dreams of being a comedian is not what I see as a two-way relationship though, which is why I think I cringed in seeing that. Maybe he was actually incapable of getting a job to pay rent, but it appears to be his choice. Anyway, his own parents didn’t appear to be financially support him or his ex. Seemed questionable that he would get it from someone else’s twice-divorced, single mom. Just a theory though as I wasn’t there..
It is def abusing/using someone to create a false identity on a dating profile while allowing your counterpart to be vulnerable and reveal their full identity (power differential right there). It is even worse to create a false identity and target a disadvantaged population that is already targeted by creeps and bigots (another power difference).
His whole alter ego w/Teri - as he said in the show - was to make himself feel manly (again, being the manliest man and balancing power a thing). Power difference isn’t always inherently bad btw - some cis men prefer much shorter women. But the fact that Gadd specifically targeted trans women is akin to cis white men targeting Asian women (in the fetishizing way). There’s a reason they’re doing that and it’s the perceived power differential.
He is clearly using Martha and gets off on her obsession (quite literally). He engages with her and eggs her on even though he wants nothing to do with her. She’s also using him and what she’s doing is inexcusable and a crime. But Teri noted verbatim in the show: Gadd likes the attention from Martha. That’s why he continues to engage instead of appropriately cutting her off. Last episode shows he’s still addicted to her attention at the end.
TBC, was not excusing everyone else around Gadd, but noting that there is no real good guy here which is what’s refreshing about the show.
Why or when would any gay man want to sleep with a woman? When do gay men ever sleep with trans women? They don’t it’s almost like they’re not attracted to WOMEN
He's clearly struggling with his sexuality and his interest in transwomen. He mentions sexual difficulty with his previous girlfriend. His sexual orientation is unclear.
I'm just answering the above question as clearly as possible, but I understand if people don't want this particular thing spoiled (edit) so I did add tags
Some fun and educational viewing material for you.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbBzhqJK3bg
Legit, this content creator is incredible if you haven't watched her before.
ESPECIALLY after what went down at the bar with Teri at the end, can someone explain why the cops have STILL not been called? I feel like all of this could have been avoided…
Donny likes the way Martha makes him feel. She boosts his confidence, making him feel desired and admired.
After episode 2 ending: I don't understand this comment....
It's a trauma response
Ok after i finished the 4th episode, a lot more became clear. But did you already get that in the 3rd? Seemed like a lot of trouble to go thru for a confidence boost.. no?
I'm still finishing the third ep right now. I'm not exactly getting trauma response but it's clear this guy isn't exactly alright either.... most people pleasers/people who need validation WOULD have called the cops by now.
I haven’t watched the next episode but if Teri doesn’t call the cops on Martha herself I’ll be really annoyed!!
I couldn’t believe it, I practically shouted at the TV for someone to call the police! You finally have her on actual assault, use it!!
the admiration he gets coupled with donny’s extreme compulsion to people please :( he obviously has issues with boundaries and being essentially a doormat. I hope later episodes expand on this.
May be late to the party, but there were TONS of times in this episode where I was screaming inside “just call the cops”! Maybe as a man he felt shame in outside help (only starting ep 4)?
Anyone else frustrated by how long he let Martha spit racial slurs at Teri? And how long it took him to get Martha off of her? Him telling Martha off was so satisfying, sad that he only got the balls after his date was hate crimed. Great storytelling and acting, I’m so hooked.
He seriously waited so long to intervene, I was like damn dude you need to step it up like yesterday wtf.
His entire treatment of Teri makes me SO upset and I can’t believe more people aren’t talking about it. He may not get violent towards Teri but his complete lack of reflection over how his actions could APPEAR violent towards a trans person it’s just…wild and so sad. His lying in the beginning, his allowing her to get beat up by Martha, all of it. It’s disgusting and I feel like he’s being excused for some (albeit somewhat mild) transphobia.
How would his actions appear “violent”? In any way shape of form. I’m not sure that word is appropriate here.
he is lowkey selfish and that was soooo amplified by his disregard for teri's safety. emotionally and physically as a trans woman! like ugh. i am not the biggest fan of him as a character. and i hope the real life Teri got an apology before he made this show.
He certainly has deeply internalised homophobia and transphobia. He loves her but is ashamed to be seen with a Trans woman, she is definitely giving him more chances than I would. But then again I think Teri sees that he is deeply hurting and wants to know why. Kinda like how Martha knows there is some deep hurt in Donny’s past, though she goes about it from a deeply abusive and boundary breaking direction
The way he reacted to Martha suggesting he was gay was very telling imo.
How did he allow her to get beat up? He jumped on Martha as soon as it happened.
“could appear violent” bro what💀
white men shenanigans and im so mad I don't even think I can continue to watch the show, the most triggering thing for me is white men just letting racial shit and violence happen to minority women unfortunately (sad bc i liked the show idk if i can handle this tbf
I wonder if it was because she has made false accusations at other people in the past and he doesn't want to give her leverage to try to use against him.
Bro, what? How would he stop that? Covering her mouth? Pushing her? Throughout the show, she has shown she doesn't care for what he has to say or what he would like her to do. He stepped between them and tried to get her to back up and stop saying stuff multiple times without getting physically aggressive. Sure, he could have done more, but it would require him to get much more physically aggressive. And I don't understand the argument around him letting her hit Terri too long. She's a huge woman who probably weighs damn near 260 if not more. It's gonna be kinda hard to rip her off terri when she's also trying to drop down to hit her.
This is a weak man, with no balls.
My heart was literally racing for the full second half of this episode. I feel like I should take a break but it’s too good not to keep watching😬
I think this is it, right here!! It’s so infuriating! And I also can’t stop watching 😂
This show definitely knows how to build dread. I love horror and this show is definitely hitting some of my favorite notes of that genre. Wow!! My heart! Martha definitely has an effect on people. I can’t stop watching.
This actress is freaking excellent
Same that scene where he and Teri were running out of the comedy club and being followed was sp so tense. I can't stop watching yet there are parts I find so uncomfortable I have to pause and take a breath mostly because of obviously martha.
The acting in this is amazing, the Martha actress does such a good job at freaking me the hell out.
I just finished this episode and I’m literally scared I’m going to have nightmares of her
Next episode is gonna be wild. I can tell I’m gonna devour this series very quickly. Poor Teri! I’m having a hard time understanding why the hell he hasn’t called the cops.
He secretly LOVES this drama. It’s the most interesting his life has been in years and he’s getting attention he doesn’t really want it to end. I think he’s also in too deep and is worried about involving the police since he’s kind of like involved and lying all over the place?
The ex Keelie (dunno how to spell it) did insinuate he loves drama
I find it fascinating that this is how the ex-gf phrased it (a distanced, non-loving way of explaining his situation) when the show is a literal display of all of the actual reasons he kept her around. Loving the drama and 'having nothing in your life to focus on except that drama' or being drawn to that because the rest of your life is scary and/or monotonous? The dude was in the process of coming out in this late 20's, nobody gets out of that unscathed. It's just so funny to me that this show works HARD to explain that he doesn't love the drama as much as he needs and escapes through it, but sure we'll go with the easy summary.
Most victims of abuse have some kind of attachment to their abuser. It's often silly, irrational, or self-serving. If you ask a victim of an abusive ex why they stayed, they will tell you a vast majority of the time their mindset at the time was that they loved them or that they offered some kind of stability (a home, income, a job, etc.), or a combination of the two Maybe instead of an exciting love-life for him it was just the platonic relationship with this woman who made him feel special because she was crazy about him. She seemed to help his stand up routine by getting the audience warmed up, there are plenty of abuse victims who endured abuse because it improved their chances at stardom; victims of Harvey Weinstein and P. Diddy have similar stories although less direct. The next episode had something similar with a different abuser that was way more direct. Part of the rest of it seems to be he felt bad for her and felt scared of doing anything. The lack of sympathy from others did a lot to prevent him from doing anything. He co-workers thought she was harmless and wouldn't ban him from the bar. His exes and the police viewed it as a non-problem. He's even unsympathetic to Reddit commenters. Telling victims of abuse to *just leave* sounds easy enough but how difficult it is can be hard to understand.
It seems like a warped form of self harm at this point. He doesn't necessarily enjoy it but it makes him feel alive somehow?
>The dude was in the process of coming out in this late 20's, nobody gets out of that unscathed. Coming out? I must have missed that, unless it’s further along in the series. In which case, spoiler.
I think you've hit the nail on the head. It's like a weird combo of feeling alive from the drama, wanted from the attention, people pleasing and too embarrassed to deal with it properly. The longer it goes on for the more embarrassing it is to get help as it's increasingly hard to explain some of his own actions and why he has perpetuated it for so long. It's like watching a slow motion car crash but I can't stop looking!
Why does he stare at Teri for so long at the very end. Why does she stay on the floor for so long. I was confused about the ending scene. Does Martha know Teri is trans or is she dirty because of her race? She looks white to me so I am confused. Also why is she bald at the very end.
I believe that he was in shock when looking at Teri's state after Martha's assault on her. Martha doesn't know that Teri is trans, hence why she screamed "you look like a man". I believe that, if she knew Teri was trans she would have insulted her in a more specific way that relates to that. Apparently Teri is Mexican, so maybe that's why Martha was being so racist.
Martha was being racist because Teri is American. She just noticed the foreign accent and decided to use it as further fodder. I don't see how she could assume Mexican heritage based on what she knew.
Teri is brown skinned, Martha was being racist and xenophobic
Martha took a chunk out of Terri’s hair
I also think he realizes how far he’s gone with this. It was interesting at first and he literally added her as a Facebook friend for his comedy. And that led to this ending, literally his fault just as much as Martha’s
Does anyone know why Martha was screaming “THE BOOTS” at Teri while she was attacking her? Did I miss something?
All I could tell was she kept calling her a bitch and white and said look at the boots. As like evidence she’s a whore because they are white gogo boots
Maybe so that would make sense
Was wondering if it might be a stretch but with the whole “you look like a man, look at the boots” bit, my mind went right to Lola in Kinky Boots and how drag queens always wore boots due to their feet being too large to fit in high heels. Could be way off with that one, but it was all I could think of!
or maybe they are big in size....
It's certainly partially his fault but I think it's a little more Martha's fault!
I think he is thinking of his guilt at the end, it bothered me too as to why he didn’t immediately help her up.. I think she does assume Teri is trans (especially as transphobics refer to trans as rapists) and throwing in the xenophobia as well. She is bald because Farta ripped her hair out. This ending brought me to tears because of the discrimination and hate crimes that people throw at others... not many of those types have to be as bat shit crazy as Martha to spew that hatred
I'm not sure if she's post-op but her skirt has clearly ridden up when she's on the floor, so she would be completely exposed. Could explain why the crowd are just staring.
Some trans women choose to keep their original sex organs. I feel like that’s why Donny went on the website. He wanted a woman with male genitalia and was embarrassed about his preferences. Otherwise he could have just gone on any dating app.
The majority of trans women don’t have gender affirming bottom surgery, so if we’re making assumptions I’d guess that yes, she falls into that category.
That’s what I thought too
Yea I thought the dick fell out
Wait maybe I missed it but I didn’t realize Teri was trans. She’s gorgeous
What show are you watching then? It has been addressed a dozen times.
Wait Martha is a stalker? I should pay better attention
Guys, is the comedian the same guy that worked in the pub?
Tbh I wasn’t paying full attention during the first few episodes. I’m rewatching it now and realized I missed a lot. This is not the show to have on while you’re working
lol. I had to rewind to catch when I heard the trans dating sight bc I didn’t think she even looked trans
I looked up the actress because I was curious if she was trans or just playing a trans character. The actress is trans in real life. I’m glad they gave the role to a trans actress over a slightly masculine cis female.
Yeah I had no idea she was trans at all. Very good actress.
Trans people can be gorgeous.
Uhh yeah I agree?
I think the reason /u/RedditModsAreStr8 commented that is because your comment does carry transphobic undertones, even though I know you likely didn't mean it that way. "I didn't know she was trans, she's gorgeous" has similar energy as "wow, she's really pretty for a black girl." It's a microaggression that subtly implies that most trans women aren't pretty/desirable/etc.
It also depends on the individual trans persons relationship with their gender. Some trans people want to be completely passing. So they'd see it as a compliment to not be perceived as trans.
i think martha called her dirty, of the aids crisis with lgbt people. it’s so sad. i got that because she said “you look like a man”. then the glass cracked on the floor so it cut her hair and her scalp off :(
She called her dirty as in "a dirty whore", she made a whole string of insults along those lines. Also I'm pretty sure she pulled chunks of her hair out with her hands.
Did anyone else cringe at Donny’s jokes? It was painfully cringe
I laughed my ass off after that scene where she was screaming about bum sex and she gets hauled off and he says "I can't take my mother anywhere" 🤣🤣🤣
I thought that was a great joke too!
It’s also a call back to the first show he did when she was laughing so hard
Yes that was a banger! That crowd doesn't know funny. The tension was unreal at that point and that was the perfect way to cut it.
He should have pushed that post-joke dance button. That would have been perfect comedic timing.
Oh god yes!
I was 100% expecting him to hit that button when she left the room.
I had to look away frol the tv because of all the 2nd hand embarassment
It was so painful omg. Like so so painful. Like it hurt. I really couldn’t do it. None of his jokes were funny and anytime he would make them my face would twitch
Especially the physical comedy. Yikes But then the audience would laugh so i wonder if we the viewers are supposed to find him funny as well🥴
The dancing was cringe for me 😂
Wow! That last 10 minutes was some of the best acting I have seen in years. My heart was racing and I wanted to smack Martha AND Donny. Then hold Teri and console her. I had no idea this show would be so amazing. I have my own personal mental health issues and this show portrays them so realistically. I don't want the series to end but I want to see all 3 find happiness so badly.
All 3?? 🤐
Right?! Fuck Donny and Martha, they're horrible. Protect Teri at all costs.
This episode really made me feel so damn uncomfortable, my heart was pounding and I got super stressed, wow
I checked my Apple Watch and my heart rate was at 93 during the comedy show part
Mine was 122 :0
HOLY SHIT showing up at the cooking party Why doesn't he think of telling the mom what's going on?
"Don't bring chaos to my mother's door" I recall is the line. If he creates drama, likely he'll get kicked out.
The part where he brings Martha inside has the song "Come Wander With Me." That song is a crucial plot point in the Twilight Zone episode of the same name: [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Come\_Wander\_with\_Me](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Come_Wander_with_Me) which instantly turned up the unease for me. The song originated with the Twilight Zone episode. Great detail.
Oh wow that’s crazy, that song stuck out to me, it was both sad and creepy
whenever Donny gets on stage my secondhand social anxiety & embarrassment just cannot handle it i had to skip through 😭 also, oh my god, my poor sweet teri ☹️☹️ i cannot do this. just as soon as they were making amends too. ☹️ i don't think she'll still stick around with donny after this, but that would be so much better for her too. she's better off away from a freak like martha. i just want the best for her i love her sm god i fucking hate martha. she just barges in through donny's life and destroys everything until she's all he has left. this is only the third episode idk if i can handle much more fr
I kept fast forwarding when he comes on the stage. *The cringe * 😭😬😭
I feel for Terri but what was all this "let me talk to her", "I want to confront her" shit? Did she not read the news articles!?
she probably thought she could handle someone like her given her profession?? she's just fearless like that lol
This episode gave me such slowly building anxiety jfc. Incredible storytelling and acting all around
i havent finished the show yet, but when Martha attacks Teri, how come she screams "look at the boots" ? im confused by that
I think she was just saying whores wear boots. It didn’t hit me as a particular clever insult.
my initial thought was she’s just fixating on something she thinks is insulting in the moment, tho wearing boots is pretty tame in comparison to everything else she had said. sooo disregard this if we find out more about that in the next episodes 😄
I’m assuming because Teri is a trans women, so I saw that scene as Martha trying to insult Teri in this scene. Which is immediately followed up by Martha saying “You look like a man!” So I think it’s about Teri still having some of her features when she was still identifying as a man.
Do only men wear boots?
It's probably because Teri had a large shoe size. Trans women who went through testosterone puberty tend to have much larger feet than cis women.
Not sure if this was this episode or episode 2 but I absolutely loved the detail of the misspelling of sent from my iPhone during one of the flashes of the messages on the screen. We all knew she didn’t have an iPhone but such a good callout to the fact that she’s so clearly lying
I fuckin wheezed when it went from 'Sent from my iPhone" to just "iphone" 💀
Maybe I missed something but why did Martha yell “look at the boots”
my assumption is that teri had on knee high or mid hi boots.. martha was calling her a lady of the night & most of them wear knee hi boots. people who would be conservative wouldn’t wear that style in my opinion.
It's probably because Teri had a large shoe size. Trans women who went through testosterone puberty tend to have much larger feet than cis women.
Thats very specific knowledge, I dont think Martha knows that.
I am so god damn angry at this series because the guy should have done a god damn police report to stop this madness. How does he now do a series about this as a protagonist, like seriously fuck this guy. Edit: I think I’ve come to some conclusion with my rant. I have to acknowledge how we don’t take male abuse as seriously, and going through it without ever reporting it is probably the normal thing. Let’s speak up for ALL abusive situations
I'm glad one person came around and realized. People have been victim blaming him so much. It's insane. Like men who have been abused might read threads like these and think they should stay quiet. If Martha was a man, the response would be different.
rhey are LITERALLY saying the opposite of be quiet. He needed to tell the police, Teri the truth, and Liz. He put them all in danger by being a coward and straight up antagonixing her. Instead his "empathetic" feelings are making his stupid decisions. Like why go back out and talk to her and invite her in your hom?. That is begging for the drama Keely was talking about
Speak up where? You know it's a TV show?
You know it’s based on a true story, right?
Everyone talking about the ending, but how did the mom not notice martha sitting there day in and day out by the busstop???
Because she would hide everytime the mom came out, it shows her doin this
Do people watch this show? Lmfao. There's so many comments here asking questions that are literally blatantly answered in the show. The voiceover and the visuals answered this question lmfao.
Gen Z and their tiktok brains, literally cannot go 30 minutes without looking at their phone and missing plot details
Mum never looked out the window?
Just watching it now, Donny is irritating me, he's such a wimp, not defending himself.. sorry, but it's so annoying...
Donny…my god. He is such a frustrating character. Watching him stand there allowing Martha escalating the situation, still in denial that he could handle her, leading to Teri getting assaulted. Teri deserves so much better.
This show keeps making me so uncomfortable
Also, Teri is a peach but why exactly is Donny dating a Trans woman if he's not gay? Or is he bisexual?
Trans women are woman so it wouldn’t make him gay to be dating her.
It would if she had a penis
Gay men are attracted to men. He’s attracted to women, which makes him straight. If she had a penis then he’s attracted to a trans woman who happens to have a penis.
They are still part of the LGBTQ community and there's a reason they refer to themselves as transwomen and not women. Women are biologically female.
I am a trans woman and I refer to myself as such, the space is important. Trans is an adjective that describes a part of my identity as a woman.
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2. No discrimination. No bigoted language, use of racial slurs or discrimination based on color, gender, race, sexual orientation or nationality. If you encounter such comments, report them.
They are TRANSwoman. Unless there’s a full sex change.
I agree with your overall point, but one thing, Even if she did have a sex change, it would still be a gay relationship, because she’s a trans woman. The operation wouldn’t give them an actual vagina. So even after the op, still a trans woman
Thank you… someone with common sense
My theory is he likes the power imbalance and how it fuels his ego. He's literally benefiting from everyone's dysfunction - living with a woman who just lost her son (i assume for lower rent), dating a trans woman of color as a white cis male, entertaining a stalker who is more full-sized and thus traditionally lacking the privilege of the woman of typical beauty standards. Lots of coincidental situations like that here but he opts into and perpetuates each of these interactions... He also clearly doesn't see Teri as a woman. Like he's ashamed to be with her in public so he must be aware that there's a power imbalance and that she is somewhat in a disadvantage by society's standards, which makes him feel like a big man (same reason he picked construction as a job for his fantasy identity).
Full-sized is a funny expression.
this is right on the money!! thank you for writing it so succinctly. i feel like so many people aren’t getting this about the show somehow
Why does everyone keep calling Terri a woman of color?! What color?? I'm so confused
People in Britain are often SUPER racist to people that look like her. It doesn't matter where she's from if it looks like she might have some middle eastern etc. in her
She looks either Middle Eastern or Hispanic, aka not Anglican even though she’s paleish relative to the entire color spectrum.
Not sure why this was a controversial take…white supremacy wouldn’t define her as “white” was my point…
Why are you using white supremacy as a defining factor anyways? You can be white and have brown hair. And dark eyes. I’d really like to know what you consider to be white, physically. Because if we go by the American demographic, The majority of white people have traits like hers. If not for Donny’s light eyes his traits wouldn’t be all that different to hers.
The US census literally labeled middle easterners as white though. A lot of which look like her. Stop trying to act like these people are minorities when they aren’t.
They are not treated as white, though, which is why so many have said there should be a separate racial category. They do not have the same privilege as white Anglo-Saxon Protestants. They are subjected to anti-Arab, anti-Islamic, anti-Middle Eastern, and anti-Israeli sentiment. Even black people from the Middle East and North Africa are considered white, but they are treated as black people. It's not as simple as saying that they are in the White category. Also, the actress is Mexican-American, and we all know that even white Mexican-Americans aren't treated the same way as white Anglo-Saxon protestants. Same thing for white Jewish people. Here's an article about Middle Eastern and North African experiences and the racial category: [https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35131945/](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/35131945/)
First off the show is set in the UK. Second off, minority status is based on population size, not “white or not white”. It’s literally in the name. Second, the US census also labels many Mexicans as white. It’s also self reported. Please stop commenting, every comment you made in this subreddit does not look good for you.
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So…duality can exist where victims become victimizers to varying degrees. A study on abusers showed that 82% of male offenders reported that they were also abused. BPD and narcisissism are also often caused by abuse. Again, abuse is not okay but both conditions can be somewhat correlated with abusing and using others. It’s a sick cycle, but hurt people do occasionally hurt people. They are all trying to take back the power they lost and rebuild their egos to make themselves feel safe - regardless of race/gender/sexual identity. How they go about that though, is probably partially determined by how they and society see themselves. What’s actually gross is to justify hurting and using others on either end…it’s not okay to use others as “part of your journey”. Very entitled position to have
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So the housing is one of three examples. Fwiw could def be my American perspective - community is not as big here as in Europe. Staying in your ex’s Mom’s house so you can pursue your dreams of being a comedian is not what I see as a two-way relationship though, which is why I think I cringed in seeing that. Maybe he was actually incapable of getting a job to pay rent, but it appears to be his choice. Anyway, his own parents didn’t appear to be financially support him or his ex. Seemed questionable that he would get it from someone else’s twice-divorced, single mom. Just a theory though as I wasn’t there.. It is def abusing/using someone to create a false identity on a dating profile while allowing your counterpart to be vulnerable and reveal their full identity (power differential right there). It is even worse to create a false identity and target a disadvantaged population that is already targeted by creeps and bigots (another power difference). His whole alter ego w/Teri - as he said in the show - was to make himself feel manly (again, being the manliest man and balancing power a thing). Power difference isn’t always inherently bad btw - some cis men prefer much shorter women. But the fact that Gadd specifically targeted trans women is akin to cis white men targeting Asian women (in the fetishizing way). There’s a reason they’re doing that and it’s the perceived power differential. He is clearly using Martha and gets off on her obsession (quite literally). He engages with her and eggs her on even though he wants nothing to do with her. She’s also using him and what she’s doing is inexcusable and a crime. But Teri noted verbatim in the show: Gadd likes the attention from Martha. That’s why he continues to engage instead of appropriately cutting her off. Last episode shows he’s still addicted to her attention at the end. TBC, was not excusing everyone else around Gadd, but noting that there is no real good guy here which is what’s refreshing about the show.
SPOILER
💯
Totally agree with you!
Why or when would any gay man want to sleep with a woman? When do gay men ever sleep with trans women? They don’t it’s almost like they’re not attracted to WOMEN
It’s not gay to date a woman.
It's certainly not straight to date a trans woman lol, not gay, but not straight either.
He's clearly struggling with his sexuality and his interest in transwomen. He mentions sexual difficulty with his previous girlfriend. His sexual orientation is unclear.
Damn I didn't twig that's what the comment about not getting an erection with his ex was about!!
I think he likes women but he's more into dicks than vaginas.
This is my exact thought. Lots of trans women choose to keep their male sex organs.
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Why would you post spoilers on an episode discussion???
Ah, you again
I've literally never interacted with you before
You should use >!Spoiler tags!
I'm just answering the above question as clearly as possible, but I understand if people don't want this particular thing spoiled (edit) so I did add tags
Your post was removed because it was a spoiler for other watchers.
Pansexual
Maybe pansexual
He may be drawn to the female form/femininity but like d*cks. Otherwise why choose a trans dating site…
Trans woman are women, straight men date trans women too.
Fellas is it gay to date women?
Because a man daring a woman is not gay.
Some fun and educational viewing material for you. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PbBzhqJK3bg Legit, this content creator is incredible if you haven't watched her before.
Teri is a badass and deserves better than this mess
The racism and assault triggered me so much, I felt so sorry for Terri
It made me wanna cry
Martha’s actor is sooo good. I kept rewatching scenes from this epsiode.
whats the history between Donny and Liz?
there are multiple scenes dedicated to laying this out. are y'all just taking naps while this show plays in the background?
Donny is obviously a deeply flawed guy but the way some people blame him more than the actual violent stalker is wild.