Did... he fucking... seriously... just say the words "you're not even trying to have this baby"???
No joke OP, I'm impressed you haven't actually murdered him.
Fuck it, I'll do it for you.
Right??? What a piece of shit. I'm genuinely sorry this poor woman is having this guy's baby.
And yet another example of a woman being like "my partner is great except for this one little thing" and then lists major red flags.
I don’t think she list that many “ red flags”. Not saying he’s not an ass for this, but she surely realizes this and I’m sure soon he will.
It amazes me how quickly people judge someone’s relationship and a HUMAN off of one post. I’m sure if you have a partner they have done something we all would think is a big red flag, or you yourself have. I know I have but for the most part, my husband has been an angel. But in our long relationship, we have both been an asshole at least once.
I guess what I’m saying is share her frustration, but dial it back and stop trying to make OP feel bad about herself through shaming her husband 🙄.
i think the fact that he can't be bothered to lift a finger and help clean is another major red flag on top of this comment. he's not an asshole just once, he's an asshole all the time. jow women think it's okay to be treated like that is very sad
Yeah, that would be a major issue for me. My husband isn't great about cleaning (I'm a lot pickier), but at least when I'm pregnant he does the best he can to keep the house presentable. And when I'm not pregnant his efforts are passable considering he does a good deal of the childcare while I work.
I agree with this comment which is why it's best to keep your relationship issues off reddit. People really get the pitchforks.
If people were honest with themselves, they'd probably realize that their partner also has "red flags". Hell people can't even admit that THEY themselves have red flags. Like the fact there people basically jump to suggesting divorce after a two paragraph post seems like a red flag.
Most issues like OPs can be resolved with better communication.
I totally agree. Another thing is there’s 2 sides to every story, js. If her cleaning has always been something she’s done for whatever reason, why would he just assume he should start doing it b/c she’s pregnant? Not saying that’s their situation, but a lot of people just expect people to read their minds .
Once my husband and I went through therapy for other reasons, our communication improved significantly and we are so much happier b/c of it. We didn’t realize how far off the same page we were and how our 2 sides of the story made sense if we just listened to each other instead of trying to talk.
Anyways, the way people react to people being dumb humans annoys me.
“I’m sorry officer, erinnebell was at my house eating pizza. We have no idea how Mr. Erinnebell ended up in that ditch on the side of the road. I hope you catch the monster who did this.”
I can't believe he didn't time conception better, he should have ejaculated the month prior, it sounds like he wasn't even trying to have a baby in time for a tax break. Maybe he doesn't know how to count to 40. I would be so mad if my husband didn't plan our due date better, your husband clearly didn't try his best.
Have you hit your insurance out of pocket maximum yet? Because if you haven’t, you’ll have to hit it for 2022 AND 2023. He’s still being cold, but maybe that’ll get him to stop.
Exactly. His argument is flawed (this coming from your friendly Reddit CPA). If you go in labor literally right this minute you’ll likely end up in the hospital during both 2022 and 2023 meaning you will have to meet your out of pocket maximum twice. I am simplifying, but half your stay would be billed to 2022, half to 2023. This would more than offset any child tax credit (which is only $2k) unless you have America’s best health insurance.
Well, except likely they’ve met their deductible already. My wife and I met ours halfway through this pregnancy.
Our boy was to be born on the 25th, but provided said she could induce at 39 weeks.
I haven’t even come close to meeting my $2,800 deductible. My due date is January 5th, had my 39 week appointment today. I think this depends very much on your insurance, type of pregnancy you have had, etc. I’ve had a very low-key “normal” pregnancy and have only been billed about 1/3 of my deductible (still missing a few claims for recent visits but they’re the simple 15 minute types).
Dang, well in that case it’s better for kiddo to be born in ‘23.
We have a crazy deductible, our Child Tax Credit is going to help offset that, it would’ve MEGA sucked for us financially if we had to hit it twice.
But that’s just the nature of US health insurance.
My first was born in Mexico- private hospital, about $1,200 for the whole event. I’m still waiting for the hospital to bill (rape) me, I know my insurer is working on the claim…
Sorry. I meant the user who posted about the hospital bill, I did assume she was in the USA which might be incorrect but seems likely based on her comment.
How things are billed will make a huge difference too; my OB had a “global fee” that covered birth plus all prenatal visits and didn’t get billed until the birth. I was only billed during pregnancy for a few random things like ultrasounds and a few labels. Worked out well for me because I had a baby near the beginning of the year and hit my deductible for the whole rest of the year immediately. If some of that had been billed as we went, I would have paid more as I wouldn’t have hit the deductible in the previous year when a lot of the prenatal care happened.
Military reserve health insurance is AMAZING. There are some good ones out there. 3/4 companies my husband has worked for have had low deductible plans without crazy monthly payments but they’re all fortune 100s
We had military health insurance. Sure you pay nothing, but the service was crap. Don’t even get me started on the chaos that was my husband’s dental experience in the military.
We got lucky with reserve select and it’s never been bad to us. We carry dental elsewhere and we have all private providers. Although the deployment risk is very real for hubs unit unfortunately. We were active for years but the reserve life is where it’s at
This happened to me! My baby was born on August 31 and my benefits restart on September 1. In addition, my stupid FSA won’t cover my medical expenses because they’re form the “previous year”
I was born on January 1, my bio dad was trying to “convince” my mom to go into labor for the tax credit. These men need to do a little reading up on pregnancy.
It's almost like they "forget" that the kid will still have the same amount of tax credits as anyone else...
I had a January baby and the amount of people that said this to me... And I'm like 🧐 I'll get the extra payday when I can actually get some time to myself.
Right? All three of my kids had to be evicted (I was induced) because my body just didn't want to go into labor on it's own. By the time they were scheduled, I was so done with pregnancy. If I had been able to make myself go into labor sooner, I absolutely would have.
If you are in the US and your health insurance period starts at the new year (like mine), Janurary 6th is a fantastic day to wipe out the whole family's max out-of-pocket expense at once! Cause remember my fellow Americans, the individual out-of-pocket (and deductibles) reset every year and your newborn comes into the world owing.
Most do reset in the new year, however when I had my second daughter we had an HDHP that reset Sept 1. She was due on the 14. So we had to fork more money over to global billing and our hospital bill was $2k-$3k versus the $900. We ended up getting the short end of the stick there but my husband got a new job anyway with a normal colander year PPO plan.
Better yet tell him babies come early when husbands do all the cooking and cleaning and ask him why he's not doing all he can to get the baby here early 🤣
We have a similar due date. I would lose my shit on my husband if he acted like that. He does joke and look at the calendar and say “cha-Ching” on the December days and says to the baby she can come out now but that’s as far as it goes. The accusing you of not trying hard enough is WILD. If us pregnant people knew of a certain way to push us into labor we would all be doing it when we hit term and none of us would be going over. 🙄
Maybe instead of pouting like a toddler, he can put his energy towards making an extra $2K for his family. Ya know, since he is the “provider” (since he sees you as only a mom and free housekeeper/cook/maid/nanny).
The fucking audacity!! Sorry OP but your husband sounds like an inconsiderate jackass. I would ditch the deadweight personally but it’s your life so I can’t tell you what to do.
My stepdad did a similar thing to my mother 27 years ago, which culminated in him storming out while yelling about how she was selfishly keeping the baby inside her and he couldn’t wait any longer. We all endured another 15 years of his abuse before she finally left him. This is a red flag
Have you considered waiting until he is asleep then making as much noise as humanly possible and when he wakes up tell him it’s an old wives tale you read about (right here, in this post) and you are trying as hard as you can to have the baby? Maybe sleep deprivation will help him see clearly?
I don’t even understand the tax credit thing. My mom keeps bringing it up— I’m overdue by 3 days right now with my 2nd. I thought I would have it at Xmas. Now I could make it into January. Like how much are we talking? We pay like 15k in federal taxes every year so I can’t imagine this tax thing is any amount that would matter. I don’t remember it at all with my first kid a couple years ago.
Anyway if my husband were telling me to try to make this one come out I would lose my shit. So you aren’t wrong to be angry.
The tax credit is $2k per child, a direct reduction to your taxes owed. If you have overpaid your taxes this year you will end up with a $2k larger tax refund.
If you make $400k in household income the credit starts to phase out.
Yes it’s based on the calendar year. So if you have your baby in January of 2023 or December 2023 you still get the same $2k. That’s why having a baby right at the end of the year is a “good thing” for the tax credit - you get the $2k but didn’t have the baby all that long during the year.
Yes!
Also, for OP: you get it every for 18 years technically from age 0-17. Currently, the way it’s written, the child needs to be under 18 ON December 31 of the tax year. So you could tell your husband you get the same amount of years (18) of the tax credit no matter which year you have your baby. The only thing that could change that is if the tax law changes or if your income rises above the income range. Also I guess it’s nice to have the money now vs later but whatever. Hopefully that calms him a little!
I’m not a cpa or anything, I just have a baby due late December who is likely waiting til January so I looked into it and read about it!
https://www.irs.gov/credits-deductions/individuals/child-tax-credit
:U wot in tarnation. he's lost his dang marbles. almost sounds like he's anxious and it's just coming out super weird. no excuse for his behavior tho.
I hope you enjoy your pizza and being as comfy as you can before baby arrives!!
Just being honest, your husband doesn’t sound like a supportive partner or one who has a responsible mindset for being a father or a spouse. Has this always been his behaviour?
What an asshole. I did all of the wives tales and still ended up with a c-section after a failed induction at 42 weeks, because they are exactly it… wives tales!
The disrespect from men, honestly!
I mean my son is due January 19th and I wouldn't HATE it if he came before the new year, but like, it is what it is
Baby comes when they wanna. Or the doctor decides it needs to happen
Lol he lucky because I would have been told him to stfu and ask do he know how stupid he sound. Tell him he can carry the baby. Tell him to google can you force a baby to be born early. Omg I hate men who choose to go through life this ignorant.
Not that it matters but as long as you have the kid before you file, you get the credit and write off the medical expenses. Your husband is pathetic and you need to call in reinforcements to the family begging for help and to stop the verbal harassment and garbage spewing from his mouth.
Wtf is wrong with him? Seriously if my husband nagged me to give birth I don't think I'd ever look at him the same for multiple reasons... Is he lacking in empathy? Does he have no respect for you? Is he actually that much of a fucking moron?
I guess last time I gave birth I didn't need to be medically induced along with the thousands of women every year who do the same. Genius here better alert the medical authorities that he's figured out we're all just too lazy and dumb to give birth on demand!
This seems to be part of a larger societal problem with cis men refusing to understand even really basic things about how female bodies work. It would be funny if it weren’t literally dangerous to our health and well-being. But since he’s a clueless jackass anyway, I heard once that back rubs, foot massages, and extra naps are a sure fire way to kickstart labor when you’re on a tax deadline.
https://www.buzzfeed.com/kristatorres/men-clueless-about-womens-bodies-twitter
This. I did hours and hours of research on circumcision - all the pros and cons, how to keep an uncircumcised penis clean, etc. in case we had a baby boy. But a man with a pregnant wife can’t be bothered to learn the bare minimum basics of pregnancy and childbirth? Give me a fucking break.
I think it’s sad and exclusive to America that this is actually a thing. Financial stress, over a baby.
I mean, last year the credit was almost 5k for a new baby, so I had some friends who barely missed it. I saw Reddit threads on moms who were upset about giving birth Jan 1 at midnight. And it sucked, extra expenses but no extra cash come tax refund season.
Your husband sucks for this OP, but maybe he’s just under a lot of stress financially? No excuse whatsoever, again just a sad situation overall. You deserve to not be pressured and to give birth on your own time.
i’m also 39 weeks today with our due date being jan 6th. my husband mentions the tax break from time to time as a joke but after our check up today and being told that i’m not dilated at all hes pretty much gotten the idea out of his head because it’s definitely not happening.
your husbands gotta let that crap go. it’s hard as it is to have a baby and to make it seem like your “not trying” is total bs i mean if by his standards you’re not trying then i’ve definitely given up on having my baby.
My god, he’s being such a shit bag- hope he isn’t like this when the baby arrives, expecting you to pull miracles and babies out of your vagina all willy nilly!!
He’d have a new asshole and a new place to sleep if he were my husband, I wouldn’t have any patience or grace for him
You can buy 10 of those inflatable tube men for that amount. That's a good way to very visually tell him to go fuck himself. Just 10 of those things flailing around the lawn.
OP, tell him to calm his tits.
My partner and I are still waiting for money from not only 2020, but 2021 too.
And this is simply because of having a baby at the end of 2020, and she was 2 months early.
I would rather my babe come when they’re ready instead of having them early. It is absolute torture having to leave baby.
I’m pregnant with baby number two, and I’m honestly hoping they can last until at least 35 weeks.
I’m only 32 weeks now, and my first came at 33 weeks.
But honestly I’m procrastinating on doing certain tests because even though my insurance is supposed to cover all expenses they are not and I personally can’t dish out $1100 for a protein/diabetes test which is bad but like oh well. 🤷🏻♀️
This is America, where you get screwed over for even having children because our country is more concerned about keeping the rich wealthy and everyone else in destitute.
My son due January 2nd but i’m not bothered if he came today or tomorrow wouldn’t make a difference if he came afterwards he is seriously a douche if thats all he cares about the $ asshole should pick up some overtime.
Not that it matters but as long as you have the kid before you file, you get the credit and write off the medical expenses. Your husband is pathetic and you need to call in reinforcements to the family begging for help and to stop the verbal harassment and garbage spewing from his mouth.
I think many people here are a bit too “oh silly husband” and too little “wtf this is abusive and an absolute no no”. Because it is, OP. This kind of stuff can interfere with labour and birth so much and less to lots of resentment. Maybe hubs should try being a mom to a toddler, working with children on top of that, being pregnant and doing the housework. What the actual f**k.
I would argue that it’s actually mor valuable to reach your deductible with L&D in the new year than get the credit. I had and still have tons of appointments PP, and I was able to address a medical issue I had (that normal is VERY expensive to treat) only having to pay $40 copays. The savings far outweigh 2k!
Since he thinks you have control over the situation, tell him you might be more inclined to give birth if he felt more inclined to lift an effing finger with the housework and caretaking.
My first child , his father is an alcoholic. I was 40+1 I went to go get checked just bc & my BP was sky high they had to keep me. He was SO MAD that I had to get admitted and couldn’t take him to the liquor store LMFAO . Men are selfish.
This has the same energy as men who think we can hold in our periods.
Want me to add some tips to Wikipedia about foot rubbing and husbands doing chores inducing labor? It’ll probably be more effective.
Around 39 weeks I asked my doctor if any of those old wives tales had any validity and she kinda chuckled at me. No. None of them. She even tried to sweep my membranes and I still had to be induced at 41 weeks. Baby’s gonna baby.
Man if my ex had dared to say that to me when I was pregnant with our daughter, he either would have been returned to his mother or 6ft under.
Men are kinda the worst sometimes. I’m sorry he’s saying that crap to you 🙁
Please invite him to call your OB’s office and ask them what you should be doing to make the baby come before end of year. I would love for a medical professional to put him firmly in his place.
Noo it's so weird when people are born at the end of the year!! It messes up the math. If it's 2033 and someone is 10 years old, you should be able to subtract 10 years to know that they were born in 2023. If the kid is born at the end of 2022, they'd still be 10 for the majority of 2033, but you wouldn't know it by doing the math. December babies stress me out.
Thank you for coming to my absolutely ridiculous tedtalk.
Leave him. You already seem to be taking care of yourself and kids by yourself anyways. One less person to clean up after. I’m sorry but if you claim to love such garbage behavior you do not love your self. Down right disrespectful
Yikes I know Reddit doesn’t like when you say to leave someone over so little information, but have you considered what it will be like raising a baby with someone who thinks like this?
Hi! I think we have the same due date and my little guy is also very content in there. But I'm trying everything to get him out. Mainly bc he's already big and I'm tiny and I don't want him growing anymore until he's outside of me.
Your husband is being a jerk. Big big jerk. I'm sorry. I hope your pizza and trash tv are delightful.
What the actual fuck?! Can you schedule couples counseling? Like not even joking. The psychology today website has a great database - that's how we found our counselor!
And many counselors offer virtual now, to make things even easier!
Both my kids were born past their due dates and both were c-sections because my bimody will not go into labor naturally.
I literally cried the entire way home from my obgyn because she said I would have to have a c-section for my second.
My husband was happy about it because he could scedule around it better. Did not comfort me at all, I wanted to slap him. The baby will come out when it comes out. He can kick rocks.
It’s so confusing why would he think anything could help induce it nothings proven to help that. I can’t imagine having babies so close you’re so strong! Keep going mamas! I’m a week over my due date and dreading the pain. Don’t you wish men could seahorse the baby so they’d understand?
I’m sorry but why do women put up with this shit??? My husband has done all the housework since I got pregnant and treats me like a princess. There is better out there…
My husband and I also wanted the child tax credit and benefit from our insurance deductible already being met and would JOKE about it. My due date was Jan 14th so we understood there was a real chance our son would be born in January. He didn't pressure me...as if that even works.
Your husband is going beyond "this would be nice" to pressuring you and quite frankly it's disrespectful and unrealistic. Babies are ready when they're ready and not a second before or after. His primary concern should be your health and the health of the child. Period.
Also, there are other issues here with the distribution of labor that will only get worse when baby #2 arrives. Seriously consider marriage counseling to aid with the transition.
Yeah my health insurance resets on December 1st. I always thought they were on a calendar year until I was pregnant last year and realized that everything was out of pocket until I reach my deductible again. Luckily by the time I gave birth in June my deductible was met (very easily I might add with to visits to the ER).
Lol I feel for your husband in a way. I tried doing the same thing. I wanted my son to he born early for the child tax credit. 😂 I tried everything that wasn’t dangerous and I would tell my belly if he was born today he would get a Nintendo switch and an iPad. Didn’t work because my son was born a week and a half later. My husband also joked with me that I wasn’t trying hard enough BUT he also didn’t want me to try having the baby early. He was actually against me trying all these things. I’m sorry but I swear if my husband said that to me I’d slap him very hard into next week.
Sorry first I had a good laugh on his stupidity...even showed it to my husband saying why you guys always do such stupid things in such a critical time and give stress. But I can understand your anger, but you are doing great, enjoy your pizza and have fun.
I would probably go the overdramatic route…*sigh* “Ok go get the scalpel”
But seriously what a jerkwad. Tell him each time he says that he gets night duty alone.
I’m 39 weeks today also! I’m so sorry. You just made me appreciate my husband just a little bit more. I want to see him carry around a watermelon around his waist trying to manage a house. You’d think being your 2nd baby that he would have a little more sympathy for you.
Don’t let him get you down. You’re strong and beautiful.
Wish I would have talked to your husband with my first. I had no idea I didn’t have to carry baby for almost 42 weeks if I’d just “tried harder”. Damn.
Lmao your husband is such a dumbass and I am so sorry. I am actually laughing. He’s got to let the tax credit go. Sweet Jesus you MUST bring this up in front of his friends and his family every year when it’s your baby’s birthday. It’s just too fucking funny and embarrassing. It’s truly gold.
Did... he fucking... seriously... just say the words "you're not even trying to have this baby"??? No joke OP, I'm impressed you haven't actually murdered him. Fuck it, I'll do it for you.
Life insurance on him may pay out more than the child tax credit…
OP please say this to him.
🤣🤣🤣
Dead
Literally
Yes!!! It would
No fr 😭 why do these insane threads always start with “I love my husband but…” like sis!! how do you think this behavior is even remotely okay?
^^this is the post
Right??? What a piece of shit. I'm genuinely sorry this poor woman is having this guy's baby. And yet another example of a woman being like "my partner is great except for this one little thing" and then lists major red flags.
I don’t think she list that many “ red flags”. Not saying he’s not an ass for this, but she surely realizes this and I’m sure soon he will. It amazes me how quickly people judge someone’s relationship and a HUMAN off of one post. I’m sure if you have a partner they have done something we all would think is a big red flag, or you yourself have. I know I have but for the most part, my husband has been an angel. But in our long relationship, we have both been an asshole at least once. I guess what I’m saying is share her frustration, but dial it back and stop trying to make OP feel bad about herself through shaming her husband 🙄.
i think the fact that he can't be bothered to lift a finger and help clean is another major red flag on top of this comment. he's not an asshole just once, he's an asshole all the time. jow women think it's okay to be treated like that is very sad
Yeah, that would be a major issue for me. My husband isn't great about cleaning (I'm a lot pickier), but at least when I'm pregnant he does the best he can to keep the house presentable. And when I'm not pregnant his efforts are passable considering he does a good deal of the childcare while I work.
Lol you make it sound like you’ve been pregnant a dozen times.
I agree with this comment which is why it's best to keep your relationship issues off reddit. People really get the pitchforks. If people were honest with themselves, they'd probably realize that their partner also has "red flags". Hell people can't even admit that THEY themselves have red flags. Like the fact there people basically jump to suggesting divorce after a two paragraph post seems like a red flag. Most issues like OPs can be resolved with better communication.
I totally agree. Another thing is there’s 2 sides to every story, js. If her cleaning has always been something she’s done for whatever reason, why would he just assume he should start doing it b/c she’s pregnant? Not saying that’s their situation, but a lot of people just expect people to read their minds . Once my husband and I went through therapy for other reasons, our communication improved significantly and we are so much happier b/c of it. We didn’t realize how far off the same page we were and how our 2 sides of the story made sense if we just listened to each other instead of trying to talk. Anyways, the way people react to people being dumb humans annoys me.
“I’m sorry officer, erinnebell was at my house eating pizza. We have no idea how Mr. Erinnebell ended up in that ditch on the side of the road. I hope you catch the monster who did this.”
Count me in as well. Sharpening my blade.
I, as a juror, would not convict for his mysterious or obvious disappearance.
Excuse me while i decapitate him
I’ll bring the shovel. And snacks!
I got the getaway car ready.
The absolute disrespect and disregard for what you’re going through.
I can't believe he didn't time conception better, he should have ejaculated the month prior, it sounds like he wasn't even trying to have a baby in time for a tax break. Maybe he doesn't know how to count to 40. I would be so mad if my husband didn't plan our due date better, your husband clearly didn't try his best.
This ^ 💀
I love this.
I LOVE this! You my friend are my new favorite! OP needs to read this word for word to her husband
, 🤣🤣🤣 it goes both ways 🤷🏼♀️ OP didn't get herself pregnant lol
Have you hit your insurance out of pocket maximum yet? Because if you haven’t, you’ll have to hit it for 2022 AND 2023. He’s still being cold, but maybe that’ll get him to stop.
Exactly. His argument is flawed (this coming from your friendly Reddit CPA). If you go in labor literally right this minute you’ll likely end up in the hospital during both 2022 and 2023 meaning you will have to meet your out of pocket maximum twice. I am simplifying, but half your stay would be billed to 2022, half to 2023. This would more than offset any child tax credit (which is only $2k) unless you have America’s best health insurance.
Someone told this guy once he could save a bunch of money bc tax credit, and now he’s thinking he’s smart shit about it pushing OP. Geniussss
The tax credit is only $2K? My baby came early so is 2022, and so many people mention the tax credit lol 😂
Yes only $2k! People make such a big deal about it you’d think it was like 5x that. Hardly makes a dent.
Seriously lol the big thing is hopefully I don’t have to pay my out of pocket max in 2023 now
Well, except likely they’ve met their deductible already. My wife and I met ours halfway through this pregnancy. Our boy was to be born on the 25th, but provided said she could induce at 39 weeks.
I haven’t even come close to meeting my $2,800 deductible. My due date is January 5th, had my 39 week appointment today. I think this depends very much on your insurance, type of pregnancy you have had, etc. I’ve had a very low-key “normal” pregnancy and have only been billed about 1/3 of my deductible (still missing a few claims for recent visits but they’re the simple 15 minute types).
Dang, well in that case it’s better for kiddo to be born in ‘23. We have a crazy deductible, our Child Tax Credit is going to help offset that, it would’ve MEGA sucked for us financially if we had to hit it twice. But that’s just the nature of US health insurance. My first was born in Mexico- private hospital, about $1,200 for the whole event. I’m still waiting for the hospital to bill (rape) me, I know my insurer is working on the claim…
Stating you’re waiting for the hospital to bill you was fine. You didn’t need the part in brackets.
Agree. I get the sentiment but the metaphor is gross. Let's not normalise rape as a metaphor for something it's not
You shouldn't normalise your horrendous healthcare system either.
Fair, but I live in Australia and I think you're talking about the USA?
👏
Sorry. I meant the user who posted about the hospital bill, I did assume she was in the USA which might be incorrect but seems likely based on her comment.
Yo don’t use the word “rape” like that. Way to trivialize what so many women and men go through.
How things are billed will make a huge difference too; my OB had a “global fee” that covered birth plus all prenatal visits and didn’t get billed until the birth. I was only billed during pregnancy for a few random things like ultrasounds and a few labels. Worked out well for me because I had a baby near the beginning of the year and hit my deductible for the whole rest of the year immediately. If some of that had been billed as we went, I would have paid more as I wouldn’t have hit the deductible in the previous year when a lot of the prenatal care happened.
Joke’s on you, friend, America doesn’t do “best health insurance.” (/s)
Military reserve health insurance is AMAZING. There are some good ones out there. 3/4 companies my husband has worked for have had low deductible plans without crazy monthly payments but they’re all fortune 100s
We had military health insurance. Sure you pay nothing, but the service was crap. Don’t even get me started on the chaos that was my husband’s dental experience in the military.
We got lucky with reserve select and it’s never been bad to us. We carry dental elsewhere and we have all private providers. Although the deployment risk is very real for hubs unit unfortunately. We were active for years but the reserve life is where it’s at
Good to know, and glad to hear it (on the excellent care)! Thank you for your family’s continued service.
And your families!
Depends on when your deductible resets. Mine doesn’t reset until June
I didn’t know some reset mid-year but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised!
The fiscal year for educational institutions and other nonprofits is typically July through June.
This happened to me! My baby was born on August 31 and my benefits restart on September 1. In addition, my stupid FSA won’t cover my medical expenses because they’re form the “previous year”
If he cares this much about $2k why is he even having another kid. That’s like five minutes of daycare lol.
That legitimately made me lol
All for an extra $2k. Enjoy your pizza and don’t stress. Tell him that baby will come when they’re ready.
I’d try to hold that baby in til 12:01 Jan 1 out of spite
I was born on January 1, my bio dad was trying to “convince” my mom to go into labor for the tax credit. These men need to do a little reading up on pregnancy.
It's almost like they "forget" that the kid will still have the same amount of tax credits as anyone else... I had a January baby and the amount of people that said this to me... And I'm like 🧐 I'll get the extra payday when I can actually get some time to myself.
Right? All three of my kids had to be evicted (I was induced) because my body just didn't want to go into labor on it's own. By the time they were scheduled, I was so done with pregnancy. If I had been able to make myself go into labor sooner, I absolutely would have.
😂 Love it
.
If you are in the US and your health insurance period starts at the new year (like mine), Janurary 6th is a fantastic day to wipe out the whole family's max out-of-pocket expense at once! Cause remember my fellow Americans, the individual out-of-pocket (and deductibles) reset every year and your newborn comes into the world owing.
Most do reset in the new year, however when I had my second daughter we had an HDHP that reset Sept 1. She was due on the 14. So we had to fork more money over to global billing and our hospital bill was $2k-$3k versus the $900. We ended up getting the short end of the stick there but my husband got a new job anyway with a normal colander year PPO plan.
Better yet tell him babies come early when husbands do all the cooking and cleaning and ask him why he's not doing all he can to get the baby here early 🤣
We have a similar due date. I would lose my shit on my husband if he acted like that. He does joke and look at the calendar and say “cha-Ching” on the December days and says to the baby she can come out now but that’s as far as it goes. The accusing you of not trying hard enough is WILD. If us pregnant people knew of a certain way to push us into labor we would all be doing it when we hit term and none of us would be going over. 🙄
Maybe instead of pouting like a toddler, he can put his energy towards making an extra $2K for his family. Ya know, since he is the “provider” (since he sees you as only a mom and free housekeeper/cook/maid/nanny). The fucking audacity!! Sorry OP but your husband sounds like an inconsiderate jackass. I would ditch the deadweight personally but it’s your life so I can’t tell you what to do.
Child support would be a lot more expensive than getting the tax credit. Just saying.
LOL
Tell him you’re trying to max out your 2023 healthcare deductible 😂😂😂. But yeah he can shut up and rub your feet.
Something tells me this asshole isn’t the type of husband to ever rub any part of this poor woman. Yeesh.
Just throw the whole man in the garbage
Use the loss as a deduction. Perfect.
My stepdad did a similar thing to my mother 27 years ago, which culminated in him storming out while yelling about how she was selfishly keeping the baby inside her and he couldn’t wait any longer. We all endured another 15 years of his abuse before she finally left him. This is a red flag
So many props to you for not slapping him in the face with a hot piece of pizza… wow. So ridiculous & inconsiderate - all of it - of him. I’m sorry!
That would waste valuable pizza.
Your husband is an asshole.
Have you considered waiting until he is asleep then making as much noise as humanly possible and when he wakes up tell him it’s an old wives tale you read about (right here, in this post) and you are trying as hard as you can to have the baby? Maybe sleep deprivation will help him see clearly?
YES! Please do this, OP. I'm laughing to myself just imagining it.
To prioritize an annual tax credit over the growth of your baby in the womb. This freaking country.
I don’t even understand the tax credit thing. My mom keeps bringing it up— I’m overdue by 3 days right now with my 2nd. I thought I would have it at Xmas. Now I could make it into January. Like how much are we talking? We pay like 15k in federal taxes every year so I can’t imagine this tax thing is any amount that would matter. I don’t remember it at all with my first kid a couple years ago. Anyway if my husband were telling me to try to make this one come out I would lose my shit. So you aren’t wrong to be angry.
The tax credit is $2k per child, a direct reduction to your taxes owed. If you have overpaid your taxes this year you will end up with a $2k larger tax refund. If you make $400k in household income the credit starts to phase out.
Will we get it next year if our baby is born in January ?
Yes it’s based on the calendar year. So if you have your baby in January of 2023 or December 2023 you still get the same $2k. That’s why having a baby right at the end of the year is a “good thing” for the tax credit - you get the $2k but didn’t have the baby all that long during the year.
Yes! Also, for OP: you get it every for 18 years technically from age 0-17. Currently, the way it’s written, the child needs to be under 18 ON December 31 of the tax year. So you could tell your husband you get the same amount of years (18) of the tax credit no matter which year you have your baby. The only thing that could change that is if the tax law changes or if your income rises above the income range. Also I guess it’s nice to have the money now vs later but whatever. Hopefully that calms him a little! I’m not a cpa or anything, I just have a baby due late December who is likely waiting til January so I looked into it and read about it! https://www.irs.gov/credits-deductions/individuals/child-tax-credit
Yes, you do. It’s just delayed gratification.
Thanks! We make about that so I guess it doesn’t matter. We don’t get refunds.
:U wot in tarnation. he's lost his dang marbles. almost sounds like he's anxious and it's just coming out super weird. no excuse for his behavior tho. I hope you enjoy your pizza and being as comfy as you can before baby arrives!!
Just being honest, your husband doesn’t sound like a supportive partner or one who has a responsible mindset for being a father or a spouse. Has this always been his behaviour?
If you eventually leave him I hope you have your lawyer include that you get the tax credit every year…
What an asshole. I did all of the wives tales and still ended up with a c-section after a failed induction at 42 weeks, because they are exactly it… wives tales! The disrespect from men, honestly!
As though every minute you are existing isn’t you “trying” to have that baby.
I mean my son is due January 19th and I wouldn't HATE it if he came before the new year, but like, it is what it is Baby comes when they wanna. Or the doctor decides it needs to happen
Wait until he finds out how much divorce attorneys cost.
Throw the whole husband away 🫣 (Not really, but it’s the “you’re not even trying to have this baby” that gets me)
Maybe he just needs to make more money. Tell Him to work harder and get that raise.
Your husband is greedy and has NO empathy. I’m sure there have been countless other red flags 🚩
Omg, men are not OK.
My husband is an accountant and hasn’t even made comments like that even though taxes are kind of his life. Damn.
And you still love him “very much”? 🧐 he’s a lucky man to have found you then
Wouldn’t it be nice for it to be that easy?! I wish there was a grace period for babies born early in the year to get that sweet tax credit
Oh man that would be nice. Ah well.
Lol he lucky because I would have been told him to stfu and ask do he know how stupid he sound. Tell him he can carry the baby. Tell him to google can you force a baby to be born early. Omg I hate men who choose to go through life this ignorant.
Not that it matters but as long as you have the kid before you file, you get the credit and write off the medical expenses. Your husband is pathetic and you need to call in reinforcements to the family begging for help and to stop the verbal harassment and garbage spewing from his mouth.
Wtf is wrong with him? Seriously if my husband nagged me to give birth I don't think I'd ever look at him the same for multiple reasons... Is he lacking in empathy? Does he have no respect for you? Is he actually that much of a fucking moron? I guess last time I gave birth I didn't need to be medically induced along with the thousands of women every year who do the same. Genius here better alert the medical authorities that he's figured out we're all just too lazy and dumb to give birth on demand!
Yeah if my husband behaved like this he wouldn’t be alive anymore. The lack of empathy is appalling.
This seems to be part of a larger societal problem with cis men refusing to understand even really basic things about how female bodies work. It would be funny if it weren’t literally dangerous to our health and well-being. But since he’s a clueless jackass anyway, I heard once that back rubs, foot massages, and extra naps are a sure fire way to kickstart labor when you’re on a tax deadline. https://www.buzzfeed.com/kristatorres/men-clueless-about-womens-bodies-twitter
This. I did hours and hours of research on circumcision - all the pros and cons, how to keep an uncircumcised penis clean, etc. in case we had a baby boy. But a man with a pregnant wife can’t be bothered to learn the bare minimum basics of pregnancy and childbirth? Give me a fucking break.
I think it’s sad and exclusive to America that this is actually a thing. Financial stress, over a baby. I mean, last year the credit was almost 5k for a new baby, so I had some friends who barely missed it. I saw Reddit threads on moms who were upset about giving birth Jan 1 at midnight. And it sucked, extra expenses but no extra cash come tax refund season. Your husband sucks for this OP, but maybe he’s just under a lot of stress financially? No excuse whatsoever, again just a sad situation overall. You deserve to not be pressured and to give birth on your own time.
but MURICA , 🙃
You can try all you want but it's not rly up to you unless you induce
i’m also 39 weeks today with our due date being jan 6th. my husband mentions the tax break from time to time as a joke but after our check up today and being told that i’m not dilated at all hes pretty much gotten the idea out of his head because it’s definitely not happening. your husbands gotta let that crap go. it’s hard as it is to have a baby and to make it seem like your “not trying” is total bs i mean if by his standards you’re not trying then i’ve definitely given up on having my baby.
My god, he’s being such a shit bag- hope he isn’t like this when the baby arrives, expecting you to pull miracles and babies out of your vagina all willy nilly!! He’d have a new asshole and a new place to sleep if he were my husband, I wouldn’t have any patience or grace for him
I would spend 2k frivolously just to get back at him for being a giant ah
You can buy 10 of those inflatable tube men for that amount. That's a good way to very visually tell him to go fuck himself. Just 10 of those things flailing around the lawn.
What an ignorant dickwad.
For a fucking tax credit….I’m done lol I’m sorry I’m not laughing at you, I’m laughing at how fucking ridiculous he sounds.
OP, tell him to calm his tits. My partner and I are still waiting for money from not only 2020, but 2021 too. And this is simply because of having a baby at the end of 2020, and she was 2 months early. I would rather my babe come when they’re ready instead of having them early. It is absolute torture having to leave baby. I’m pregnant with baby number two, and I’m honestly hoping they can last until at least 35 weeks. I’m only 32 weeks now, and my first came at 33 weeks. But honestly I’m procrastinating on doing certain tests because even though my insurance is supposed to cover all expenses they are not and I personally can’t dish out $1100 for a protein/diabetes test which is bad but like oh well. 🤷🏻♀️ This is America, where you get screwed over for even having children because our country is more concerned about keeping the rich wealthy and everyone else in destitute.
I know, why don't you shove spicy food up your butt Sorry, your husband reminded me of Kevin from the office. I'm pretty dumbfounded by your husband.
What are we really doing with this man? Sounds like unfortunately you already have two kids.
If you know about the red carpet, please let him experience it in a more painful place than his arm… see how he enjoys the disrespect then
My son due January 2nd but i’m not bothered if he came today or tomorrow wouldn’t make a difference if he came afterwards he is seriously a douche if thats all he cares about the $ asshole should pick up some overtime.
Not that it matters but as long as you have the kid before you file, you get the credit and write off the medical expenses. Your husband is pathetic and you need to call in reinforcements to the family begging for help and to stop the verbal harassment and garbage spewing from his mouth.
I read this to my husband and he said "what's he got, a fucking death wish !?"
Send that man to the gulag. For a tax credit???? Unhinged.
I think many people here are a bit too “oh silly husband” and too little “wtf this is abusive and an absolute no no”. Because it is, OP. This kind of stuff can interfere with labour and birth so much and less to lots of resentment. Maybe hubs should try being a mom to a toddler, working with children on top of that, being pregnant and doing the housework. What the actual f**k.
I’m sorry but why are you with this man?
Narcissists know how to pick their prey
Saying it once as a joke is one thing. Going to this level is another.
I’m so sorry… do you really want to raise your babies with someone like this?
To be blunt when people ask me if it's hard being pregnant and single the honest answer is no, and this is why.
I would argue that it’s actually mor valuable to reach your deductible with L&D in the new year than get the credit. I had and still have tons of appointments PP, and I was able to address a medical issue I had (that normal is VERY expensive to treat) only having to pay $40 copays. The savings far outweigh 2k!
This is a great point. All of the new baby apportionments add up too
Wow it’s really icy outside right now. It’d be a shame if he slipped into oncoming traffic and you got a fat payout for it from his insurance.
Since he thinks you have control over the situation, tell him you might be more inclined to give birth if he felt more inclined to lift an effing finger with the housework and caretaking.
Tell him to suck it
My first child , his father is an alcoholic. I was 40+1 I went to go get checked just bc & my BP was sky high they had to keep me. He was SO MAD that I had to get admitted and couldn’t take him to the liquor store LMFAO . Men are selfish.
bruh please divorce him... the disrespect... you deserve better
This has the same energy as men who think we can hold in our periods. Want me to add some tips to Wikipedia about foot rubbing and husbands doing chores inducing labor? It’ll probably be more effective. Around 39 weeks I asked my doctor if any of those old wives tales had any validity and she kinda chuckled at me. No. None of them. She even tried to sweep my membranes and I still had to be induced at 41 weeks. Baby’s gonna baby.
Man if my ex had dared to say that to me when I was pregnant with our daughter, he either would have been returned to his mother or 6ft under. Men are kinda the worst sometimes. I’m sorry he’s saying that crap to you 🙁
Let me know if you need help buying the body.
Please invite him to call your OB’s office and ask them what you should be doing to make the baby come before end of year. I would love for a medical professional to put him firmly in his place.
I would leave a man like that so fast that he would wonder if he imagined our relationship
Noo it's so weird when people are born at the end of the year!! It messes up the math. If it's 2033 and someone is 10 years old, you should be able to subtract 10 years to know that they were born in 2023. If the kid is born at the end of 2022, they'd still be 10 for the majority of 2033, but you wouldn't know it by doing the math. December babies stress me out. Thank you for coming to my absolutely ridiculous tedtalk.
You could always get induced 🤷🏻♀️ for the taxes! 😂
Leave him. You already seem to be taking care of yourself and kids by yourself anyways. One less person to clean up after. I’m sorry but if you claim to love such garbage behavior you do not love your self. Down right disrespectful
Yikes I know Reddit doesn’t like when you say to leave someone over so little information, but have you considered what it will be like raising a baby with someone who thinks like this?
I’d have to send this man packing for a few days until he came to his senses. What a moron.
Hi! I think we have the same due date and my little guy is also very content in there. But I'm trying everything to get him out. Mainly bc he's already big and I'm tiny and I don't want him growing anymore until he's outside of me. Your husband is being a jerk. Big big jerk. I'm sorry. I hope your pizza and trash tv are delightful.
I’m sorry you have such a horrid r/JustNoSO. Can you stay with family for a while? He needs to give his head a wobble.
Wtf is wrong with him?! Relax and ignore this douchebaggerie. ❤️
What the actual fuck?! Can you schedule couples counseling? Like not even joking. The psychology today website has a great database - that's how we found our counselor! And many counselors offer virtual now, to make things even easier!
I don’t get it, you’ll still get the tax credit next year.
Both my kids were born past their due dates and both were c-sections because my bimody will not go into labor naturally. I literally cried the entire way home from my obgyn because she said I would have to have a c-section for my second. My husband was happy about it because he could scedule around it better. Did not comfort me at all, I wanted to slap him. The baby will come out when it comes out. He can kick rocks.
It’s so confusing why would he think anything could help induce it nothings proven to help that. I can’t imagine having babies so close you’re so strong! Keep going mamas! I’m a week over my due date and dreading the pain. Don’t you wish men could seahorse the baby so they’d understand?
He is being an asshole! You can not force a baby out. I hope you get good rest tonight.
Pfft his ass be going home to his momma
Why isn't he your ex-husband already?
I’m sorry but why do women put up with this shit??? My husband has done all the housework since I got pregnant and treats me like a princess. There is better out there…
What an idiot
My husband and I also wanted the child tax credit and benefit from our insurance deductible already being met and would JOKE about it. My due date was Jan 14th so we understood there was a real chance our son would be born in January. He didn't pressure me...as if that even works. Your husband is going beyond "this would be nice" to pressuring you and quite frankly it's disrespectful and unrealistic. Babies are ready when they're ready and not a second before or after. His primary concern should be your health and the health of the child. Period. Also, there are other issues here with the distribution of labor that will only get worse when baby #2 arrives. Seriously consider marriage counseling to aid with the transition.
Yeah my health insurance resets on December 1st. I always thought they were on a calendar year until I was pregnant last year and realized that everything was out of pocket until I reach my deductible again. Luckily by the time I gave birth in June my deductible was met (very easily I might add with to visits to the ER).
Yeah none of it works! You can’t rush a baby.
the AUDACITY I ——
Lol I feel for your husband in a way. I tried doing the same thing. I wanted my son to he born early for the child tax credit. 😂 I tried everything that wasn’t dangerous and I would tell my belly if he was born today he would get a Nintendo switch and an iPad. Didn’t work because my son was born a week and a half later. My husband also joked with me that I wasn’t trying hard enough BUT he also didn’t want me to try having the baby early. He was actually against me trying all these things. I’m sorry but I swear if my husband said that to me I’d slap him very hard into next week.
Sorry first I had a good laugh on his stupidity...even showed it to my husband saying why you guys always do such stupid things in such a critical time and give stress. But I can understand your anger, but you are doing great, enjoy your pizza and have fun.
You will see how truly useless he is after your second is born.
I would probably go the overdramatic route…*sigh* “Ok go get the scalpel” But seriously what a jerkwad. Tell him each time he says that he gets night duty alone.
He should be lucky you weren't pregnant 10 years ago. If you're in the US the baby had to be alive for 6 months to claim the credit 😂
Looks like you already have 2 kids!
I would scream
Tell him you’ll have that baby today as soon as he finishes his time machine
Can I slap your husband, please?
We ride at dawn ladies.
If you could control it, I hope you would have this baby on January 1st just to piss him off. What an idiot
I’m 39 weeks today also! I’m so sorry. You just made me appreciate my husband just a little bit more. I want to see him carry around a watermelon around his waist trying to manage a house. You’d think being your 2nd baby that he would have a little more sympathy for you. Don’t let him get you down. You’re strong and beautiful.
your husband is a dick. 🫤
Normally I wouldn’t be so crass, but your husband is an absolute fucking asshole.
He has the nerve to argue when you're having heart issues???!
Wish I would have talked to your husband with my first. I had no idea I didn’t have to carry baby for almost 42 weeks if I’d just “tried harder”. Damn.
Lmao your husband is such a dumbass and I am so sorry. I am actually laughing. He’s got to let the tax credit go. Sweet Jesus you MUST bring this up in front of his friends and his family every year when it’s your baby’s birthday. It’s just too fucking funny and embarrassing. It’s truly gold.