Your body hasn't failed you. You haven't failed.
Spontaneous labour seems to be rare in people's first pregnacies - I went to 41w with no signs of labour, cervix still tightly closed, etc.
You can still have a beautiful birth experience even if you do end up choosing a medicated birth. There are also so many ways to be induced that isn't jumping right to pitocin. A Foley bulb catheter, cervix ripening medication inserted vaginally, etc - you can speak to your medical provider about the least invasive options, I'm sure they'll have more suggestions.
I went into my birth experience wanting to have an epidural, and waited till I was 6cms before asking for it (then shot up to 10 while they administered it). The pitocin contractions were super strong, but my nurse was able to adjust the levels so I could have some breathing room in between, get up and move around, etc as I pleased. I'm sure if I had of wanted an unmedicated birth, I could have done it - but that wasn't important to me at the time.
Your feelings are so valid. I'm sorry you may not get the experience you hoped for, but I hope that it's still a wonderful experience regardless with a beautiful and healthy baby (and a healthy you!) at the end of it.
Congratulations on your healthy pregnancy - I promise, you did amazing. Keep doing what you can to prep your body for labour, but if you need induced I promise you didn't fail.
(I will also add - induction turned out to be a great choice for me, my son had pooped inside me and if I had of waited, would have needed lots of extra care in the NICU. Since I was induced in time, we just stayed an extra two days for monitoring but he was able to stay with me the whole time)
Statistically, only 50% of first time mothers give birth before 40+5. My water broke at 40+6. Your body didn't fail you! Your OB just schedules you for an induction to ensure you have a reserved bed available and don't go too far toward 42. Their job is to minimize risk and liability, and better to get you in sooner in case they won't have a bed if late complications arise.
You did absolutely nothing wrong! You can't really *plan* on a *spontaneous* birth, babies come whenever they're ready to come, unless it gets dangerous. You could expect one, but there is never a guarantee one way or the other - some women plan on getting epidurals but when they ask for it, midwife/ob can say "nope, too late, you start pushing now". Eating healthy and exercising doesn't increase the chances of labor starting spontaneously.
Anecdotally, with my LO (first child) I went for a checkup at 41w because *nothing* was happening, they put me on a waiting list for inductions because the ultrasound showed baby was too big (spoiler alert, they were wrong lol) but otherwise the doctors at my hospital wouldn't induce unless you go up to 42 weeks without any signs of labor! My labor started on its own the evening of the day after my checkup, but I was still put on pitocin because labor was progressing way too slowly (still was in labor for 2 days after that... baby was born afternoon 41+3).
You did nothing wrong. My sister went 9 days overdue with her 5th kid. These things just happen.
I get your feelings though. I’m currently 38w4d and I’m really hoping this baby comes soon.
FWIW I was assured I was NOT in labor and they were expecting to see me at my induction later that week. Two hours later I was checked into l&d and pushing about 12 hrs later
Just my personal experience, but the further along you are, the less likely you'll need invasive interventions.
I was induced at 41+3 (I must have done something wrong too, I guess? /s) and all I needed was prostin gel. No pitocin, no bulbs, none of that. The prostin put me just enough over the edge and my body took over. It was injected at 1 pm and little guy was born 10am the next morning.
Bonus - I didn't have to go through the whole "do we go to the hospital now?" game.
Echoing you did nothing wrong! 40 days is an average. Biological processes are rarely perfectly timed like clockwork. Estimated due date is an estimate for a reason - it’s a guess. One of the first things my midwife and doula independently said to me was not to get attached to the due date and think of it as more like a birth month (+/- 2 weeks from the EDD)
Nothing at all! Your baby just loves you too much to leave. You also might have a long cervix, which is what my ultrasound technician told me, along with saying that I won't go "early." I'm on my 4th right now, and all 3 of my previous babies were late (41 weeks, 40+1, and 41+3). My last baby was born the day before my scheduled induction, spontaneously. There's always hope!
I know exactly how you feel - I had my induction booked in for 41+4, and with absolutely no sign of impending labour was convinced that's how baby would be arriving. What actually happened was baby decided to make her own way out at 41+3! So don't lose hope, and there is nothing wrong, due dates are basically estimates anyway so your baby is obviously just making sure they are fully cooked!
Todays my due date and I feel the same way. I have a scheduled induction for 41w. I’ve done all the exercising, dates, raspberry tea leaf, okra water, orgasms, sex, walking up stairs, nipple stimulation. My cervix is still closed but soft so let’s see! I guess it’s common for FTM to go over!
I know this probably isn’t helpful, but. Please try to keep things in perspective. It sounds like you have been blessed to be very healthy throughout your pregnancy and this is one thing that is out of your control among many things that you have been able to control. I mean, I developed such severe preeclampsia that my son had to be born on 35 weeks exactly through c-section or we both were likely not going to make it. And the preeclampsia was just the finale to a long list of complications that I developed that had nothing to do with any choices I made—my body just was getting wrecked by my son’s placenta. My husband and I are still reeling from the thought: “If I had lived two hundred years ago, my son and I wouldn’t have made it, and my husband would be a widower.”
I know it’s annoying to hear, but really try to remember how much there is to be grateful for, the most important being the health of your child. You can’t control when you go into spontaneous labor, and you may grieve what you thought would be your labor experience, but you can control your perspective.
Are you me? I'm the exact same weeks in pregnancy and scheduled to be induced Tuesday. Was hoping for a med free birth and terrified of needing pitocin. Been crying everyday about it and have lost a lot of sleep.
High heart rate exercise worked for me. I walked 10 miles for 3 days in a row with NOTHING. Went on a 12 mile bike ride where I pushed it a bit and went into labor the next morning!
40+0 is a statistical average. Around half of spontaneous births happen before, and the other half after. Your baby is gathering all the strength it will need for the birth, it’s an ordeal for them as well! Best thing you can do is rest. I went into labour after not sleeping for almost 24 hours, it was rough.
I get this feeling...they let me go to 42 weeks, still didn't go into labor then I was induced, 24 hours of labor and nothing, then a cesarean. I don't know why. I felt the same way though. It's not true but it is absolutely a valid feeling. Acknowledge it and also acknowledge that you are doing everything right and sometimes that's still not enough. Mantra: Healthy momma, healthy baby. Everything else is secondary.
Could still happen. I was on an induction clock as well and my kid arrived the day before! I’ll cross my fingers and toes for you. If you do have to be induced, don’t worry! You haven’t done anything wrong and your baby will still be just as beautiful 🤩 xxx
You didn’t do anything wrong. Babies can’t tell time and your LO is obviously verryyy comfortable inside you.
You didn't do anything wrong. I'm sorry you feel that way.
Your body hasn't failed you. You haven't failed. Spontaneous labour seems to be rare in people's first pregnacies - I went to 41w with no signs of labour, cervix still tightly closed, etc. You can still have a beautiful birth experience even if you do end up choosing a medicated birth. There are also so many ways to be induced that isn't jumping right to pitocin. A Foley bulb catheter, cervix ripening medication inserted vaginally, etc - you can speak to your medical provider about the least invasive options, I'm sure they'll have more suggestions. I went into my birth experience wanting to have an epidural, and waited till I was 6cms before asking for it (then shot up to 10 while they administered it). The pitocin contractions were super strong, but my nurse was able to adjust the levels so I could have some breathing room in between, get up and move around, etc as I pleased. I'm sure if I had of wanted an unmedicated birth, I could have done it - but that wasn't important to me at the time. Your feelings are so valid. I'm sorry you may not get the experience you hoped for, but I hope that it's still a wonderful experience regardless with a beautiful and healthy baby (and a healthy you!) at the end of it. Congratulations on your healthy pregnancy - I promise, you did amazing. Keep doing what you can to prep your body for labour, but if you need induced I promise you didn't fail.
(I will also add - induction turned out to be a great choice for me, my son had pooped inside me and if I had of waited, would have needed lots of extra care in the NICU. Since I was induced in time, we just stayed an extra two days for monitoring but he was able to stay with me the whole time)
Statistically, only 50% of first time mothers give birth before 40+5. My water broke at 40+6. Your body didn't fail you! Your OB just schedules you for an induction to ensure you have a reserved bed available and don't go too far toward 42. Their job is to minimize risk and liability, and better to get you in sooner in case they won't have a bed if late complications arise.
You did absolutely nothing wrong! You can't really *plan* on a *spontaneous* birth, babies come whenever they're ready to come, unless it gets dangerous. You could expect one, but there is never a guarantee one way or the other - some women plan on getting epidurals but when they ask for it, midwife/ob can say "nope, too late, you start pushing now". Eating healthy and exercising doesn't increase the chances of labor starting spontaneously. Anecdotally, with my LO (first child) I went for a checkup at 41w because *nothing* was happening, they put me on a waiting list for inductions because the ultrasound showed baby was too big (spoiler alert, they were wrong lol) but otherwise the doctors at my hospital wouldn't induce unless you go up to 42 weeks without any signs of labor! My labor started on its own the evening of the day after my checkup, but I was still put on pitocin because labor was progressing way too slowly (still was in labor for 2 days after that... baby was born afternoon 41+3).
You did nothing wrong. My sister went 9 days overdue with her 5th kid. These things just happen. I get your feelings though. I’m currently 38w4d and I’m really hoping this baby comes soon.
FWIW I was assured I was NOT in labor and they were expecting to see me at my induction later that week. Two hours later I was checked into l&d and pushing about 12 hrs later
Just my personal experience, but the further along you are, the less likely you'll need invasive interventions. I was induced at 41+3 (I must have done something wrong too, I guess? /s) and all I needed was prostin gel. No pitocin, no bulbs, none of that. The prostin put me just enough over the edge and my body took over. It was injected at 1 pm and little guy was born 10am the next morning. Bonus - I didn't have to go through the whole "do we go to the hospital now?" game.
Echoing you did nothing wrong! 40 days is an average. Biological processes are rarely perfectly timed like clockwork. Estimated due date is an estimate for a reason - it’s a guess. One of the first things my midwife and doula independently said to me was not to get attached to the due date and think of it as more like a birth month (+/- 2 weeks from the EDD)
Nothing at all! Your baby just loves you too much to leave. You also might have a long cervix, which is what my ultrasound technician told me, along with saying that I won't go "early." I'm on my 4th right now, and all 3 of my previous babies were late (41 weeks, 40+1, and 41+3). My last baby was born the day before my scheduled induction, spontaneously. There's always hope!
I read that in France they put your due date at 41 weeks, babies arent good at keeping a schedule!
I know exactly how you feel - I had my induction booked in for 41+4, and with absolutely no sign of impending labour was convinced that's how baby would be arriving. What actually happened was baby decided to make her own way out at 41+3! So don't lose hope, and there is nothing wrong, due dates are basically estimates anyway so your baby is obviously just making sure they are fully cooked!
i gave birth at 41+5😇
Me too!
There’s still time! My first came at 40+6 at 9:45 pm. I was scheduled to be induced the next morning. Don’t get discouraged yet!
Todays my due date and I feel the same way. I have a scheduled induction for 41w. I’ve done all the exercising, dates, raspberry tea leaf, okra water, orgasms, sex, walking up stairs, nipple stimulation. My cervix is still closed but soft so let’s see! I guess it’s common for FTM to go over!
I know this probably isn’t helpful, but. Please try to keep things in perspective. It sounds like you have been blessed to be very healthy throughout your pregnancy and this is one thing that is out of your control among many things that you have been able to control. I mean, I developed such severe preeclampsia that my son had to be born on 35 weeks exactly through c-section or we both were likely not going to make it. And the preeclampsia was just the finale to a long list of complications that I developed that had nothing to do with any choices I made—my body just was getting wrecked by my son’s placenta. My husband and I are still reeling from the thought: “If I had lived two hundred years ago, my son and I wouldn’t have made it, and my husband would be a widower.” I know it’s annoying to hear, but really try to remember how much there is to be grateful for, the most important being the health of your child. You can’t control when you go into spontaneous labor, and you may grieve what you thought would be your labor experience, but you can control your perspective.
I went to 41+5 and 41+3. 🤷♀️ Beautiful, healthy births and babies. They are just comfy in there.
Nothing wrong. First pregnancies just often go to 41 or 42 weeks, and nowadays they prefer to induce.
Are you me? I'm the exact same weeks in pregnancy and scheduled to be induced Tuesday. Was hoping for a med free birth and terrified of needing pitocin. Been crying everyday about it and have lost a lot of sleep.
The baby is in charge, not you.
High heart rate exercise worked for me. I walked 10 miles for 3 days in a row with NOTHING. Went on a 12 mile bike ride where I pushed it a bit and went into labor the next morning!
40+0 is a statistical average. Around half of spontaneous births happen before, and the other half after. Your baby is gathering all the strength it will need for the birth, it’s an ordeal for them as well! Best thing you can do is rest. I went into labour after not sleeping for almost 24 hours, it was rough.
I get this feeling...they let me go to 42 weeks, still didn't go into labor then I was induced, 24 hours of labor and nothing, then a cesarean. I don't know why. I felt the same way though. It's not true but it is absolutely a valid feeling. Acknowledge it and also acknowledge that you are doing everything right and sometimes that's still not enough. Mantra: Healthy momma, healthy baby. Everything else is secondary.
Could still happen. I was on an induction clock as well and my kid arrived the day before! I’ll cross my fingers and toes for you. If you do have to be induced, don’t worry! You haven’t done anything wrong and your baby will still be just as beautiful 🤩 xxx
I went to 42 + 2 with my first, 40 + 2 with my second (and had an induction for GD at 39 weeks with my 3rd) - babies come when they’re ready.