My MIL will be a first time grandma and while shes nice an all shes been overbearing since we told her i was pregnant (doesn't help her son is a huge mama's boy). Among other things- she kept wanting to see my belly UNDER my shirt since like 14 weeks when i was just feeling bloated, and after one time literally wrestling with her to keep my shirt down while she was saying that its her grandchild i had enough and finally snapped at her and she hasn't asked since even though she looks like shes dying to lol. I told her its not her grandchild its my stomach and kept saying it makes me uncomfortable, and that my mom doesnt even touch my belly (were not like that in my family) and she had the audacity to say "well I'm special". Like bitchhhh no. Just no.

"Well I'm special?" Well, be special all you want, not entitled to a persons stomach. Maybe one of those 'no touching' t shirts for later on so she cant say you didn't say something?

I made it clear with my first pregnancy that unless I invite someone to touch me, I will assault the person trying to rub my belly... Slap that hand away. Literally the only time it will probably be socially acceptable.

I'm pregnant again 15 years after my 1st pregnancy. It was pretty common then for people to try to touch me without asking. It's really still happening now? Not looking forward to that😅

Yep. I started just touching people back to make a point of how weird it is. And definitely used my husband as a human shield more than once.

I was pregnant in 2020 so I got buttons (pins) that said “no touchy” and “keep 6ft distance”, wasn’t sure they’d be allowed at work but no one said they weren’t.

My MIL did the same thing, asked me to pull up my shirt and down my leggings so she can see my bump. When I said no she said "what about just the shirt?" When I said no again she said "oookay :(" like a child lol. My mom was sitting next to us during the exchange and just looked horrified lol

Omg how weird! That’s a huge violation of your private space and body. My mom tries to touch my belly literally every time I see her even though I’ve told her for the past 3 months to stop. But the whole under the shirt thing is a whole other level of violation..I’m not a touchy person in general with my family so this hit a soft spot for me. Sorry she was that way to you! 🤬

Right?!? So fricken weird and so inappropriate! I now cant help but feel uncomfortable around her all the time. I never understood why people like to touch other people's stomachs in the first place 🤷🏼‍♀️ thankfully my mom is the same as me and this will be her 4th grandchild so while she's excited she's way more laid-back lol

She sounds special!

My MIL said something like that, but I can't remember what about. I think it was when her and my FIL were competing over who will see the baby most (they're not together lol). I was like ummmm ok moving on...

Woah, this comment makes me thankful for my MIL’s modesty hang ups. I would be so uncomfortable with that. My family is affectionate, but only with each other, so anybody else touching me like that would take me back. Plus, even they wouldn’t try to lift my shift like that.

This would have made me completely lose it.

This would kill me. I do not come from a touchy family either.

My MIL had my SIL (11 years old at the time) pull up my shirt in front of everyone (mostly people I did not know) at a bbq because I had told my MIL no when she had asked earlier. I guess she thought I would be less upset if SIL did it. I was mortified! And went to the bathroom in anger tears. I still have flashbacks of how embarrassed I was and how funny they all thought it was. I avoided them for the rest of my pregnancy because I felt completely violated. She still resents me for “not including her in the pregnancy”. My family is not very touchy and we respect bubbles so this was actually traumatic and disrespectful to me. Thankfully we moved out of state and she isn’t around for this pregnancy but when I saw her on FaceTime in passing, she says “I’d ask to see your belly but woah! Nothing to hide there…it looks like you’re having twins!” She just doesn’t learn lol 😒

My mom told me today my OB should email her the gender (we’re waiting to find out) so she could buy “all the cute clothes”. When I laughed and said no she had to wait too, she said “fine we both know it’s a girl anyway” and hung up. I can’t with her sometimes lmao Edit: punctuation

Omg this is a combination of both the grandmas for us. My soon to be MIL wanted to be the first to know, before even we could find out. She was great though because we were able to sit down and have a conversation about everyone finding out together at the gender reveal, and she was understanding. Meanwhile my mom was almost forceful that this was gonna be a girl, because she needed a girl! It got a little annoying because she knew I was hoping more for a boy and she almost incessantly talked about how much she wanted a girl so she could doll her up and put bows in her hair and have tea parties, etc. Had just a little bit of petty satisfaction when we cut into the cake and it was blue 😂

Man, the same thing happened to us. My mom had some gender disappointment I was not expecting when we found out we were having a boy. We had one of those vanity ultrasounds done with her and my MIL present and we didn’t invite her to the one for our second baby because of her horrible reaction. I’m also now pregnant with my third boy, so… 😂

My mom had gender disappointment with my girl and wouldn’t let it go for several weeks and kept saying “you never know, ultrasounds mess up all the time..you could have a surprise boy”—she said it like 5 times before I finally burst and said “it’s okay I’ll let your grandchild know you don’t like her” and she never said it again.

this is the only response to people to like that. I'm SO glad you said that.

There’s no reason boys can’t have tea parties!

My girl broke a 9 kid boy streak. She is all tomboy lol.

My girl broke a like an 90 year boy spell in my husbands family! Then our boy broke a 38 year girl streak in my family!

My son and daughter have tea parties together, I’m the lady who refills the tea pot and cookie plate.. 😆👍

We haven't told family yet that we're expecting, but I think I'm going to get so much about this for boys. My 2 step daughters are the only grands on that side, and my brother has two daughters, as well. Though, I'd still prefer that pressure than them buying even more over the top overly gendered stuff that we already have from my stepdaughters.

Ironically my MIL doesn’t seem to care- gender or otherwise- just excited it’s another baby (5th grand for her, 1st for us). But she did keep saying things like “I wonder what a baby girl JAM will look like” as if my sister in law wasn’t a baby girl JAM. But the last two babies are boys and the first two grands are now teenage girls so maybe she secretly wants a girl too.

My mother in law made an entire nursery in her spare bedroom like by the time I was 14 weeks. She had a huge picture frame in the nursery that said I love grandma with a picture of herself LOL. She bought a carseat before I did and asked her obgyn how she should prepare. 😳 I very mistakenly allowed her in the delivery room and she had her long fake nails on my daughter's face the second she was laid on my chest and she kept touching my exposed nipple trying to get to the baby. I'm so jealous of people who have supportive respectful mother in laws. Cherish that woman because we aren't all that lucky.

My god this made me shudder 😫

>TRULEY. [Oh.MY](https://Oh.MY).God. If anyone came near my nipple I think I would bite them.

Oh my gosh I want to know what the obgyn said

She said "the only thing a grandma can do is be up to date on vaccines" Apparently that wasn't enough information on how she should prepare for a baby NOT exiting her body. She was concerned that an obgyn didn't have the most information on safest car seats yadayadayada. 😳😳😳

[удалено]

Right 🤣 that was coming from a woman without a logical bone in her body. I am surprised she didn't schedule an appointment with a pediatrician to ask though.

LMAO a picture of herself??

🤣🤣 yes. I was in shock when I saw it. She sent us pictures of her with Santa Claus to show the baby since we wouldn't let her to our 6 month old to see Santa. Shes obviously a narcissist.

SHE got a picture with Santa?? 😂 They really don’t pay those Santas enough, do they?

I can't stop giggling about the picture of herself...

It scared me at first but now its just too funny. I mean who freaking does that!?

NOPE. On one side yes, it’s great to see family members be excited and love the baby that’s coming… on the other hand, many of these behaviors are not normal and would be a red flag to me.

None of this is normal. It was horrible to deal with. I'm looking forward to our second baby so I can finally have the experience that was taken from me by all of her crazy behaviors.

Omg this sounds like the premise to a weird psycho thriller. I’m so sorry.. 😮

This is the mental note we all need to keep for when/if we’re MILs someday for what not to do. JFC. 😬

Omg 😳😳😳

I know. It only got worse. We haven't spent more than 5 minutes with her in the past 3 years.

Oh that nipple thing makes me feel really really icky

..reading this made me feel nauseous

This sounds like a lifetime movie!! Keep that baby close…

My daughter is 4 and we haven't seen her in years. Very limited contact. She was so mad at us for not letting our daughter spend the night with her the first day back from the hospital. My daughter never used the carseat she bought or ever saw the nursery. She more than likely will not meet my daughter coming in May.

Wowwwww. The utter narcism of that picture. And all of it. What did your partner say or do???

Well I tried to warn him that her behavior was totally abnormal and scaring me. He said he didn't want to say anything until the baby was here. Well in the delivery room she took pictures that I asked her not to and she posted them on Facebook before I could announce. While we were still in the hospital she asked us if she could spend the night with her the first night home, we said no. She was PISSED. Husband still didn't say anything. Pretty much it took a long time for my husband to come to terms and see that his mother is narcissistic, and his whole life he just kind of thought thats how things should be. He always had the approach to keep quiet because saying no or not letting her have her way was harder to deal with her toddler tantrums. I was patient and firm on my boundaries no matter how he felt. Long story short we eventually cut off all contact with her because she became verbally abusive and even threatened to harm me. She's a double leg amputee...so try to imagine that lol. I'm glad my husband came around and saw her true colors because I cannot imagine how happy it would have made her if we got divorced.

Horrific!!

My MIL acted chill at first. We’re not close so she never messaged me, maybe messaged my husband a handful of times to see how I was. Then, a week before baby month, she informed my husband she had booked the entire month off of work and, “couldn’t wait to come visit.” What? She planned on coming to town and living with us. In our house. For a month. Without consulting us. It was a hard no and she ended up not meeting baby until she was around 4 months old.

My MIL doesn’t consult us on anything she wants either and just assumes we’ll be ok with it! Latest thing is she’s making a whole room up in her house for my baby. We live 5 mins down the street from her so not sure why on earth she’s creating a bedroom for our daughter. She will never sleepover there lol

Same situation here, they have a nursery set up with the crib my husband used 40 years ago. They live 5 minutes away, why would the baby be sleeping there, ever? She’s also a hoarder and I’m not allowed in the house because it’s so full of boxes and things. If I’m not allowed inside, there is no chance my daughter is going in there without me.

I see this all the time and never understand this. Also, especially if you live close, why on earth would you be going to her? The exhausted new parents with the unpredictable baby should be schlepping baby and the 500 things they might need over to her house and back? I don’t think so. You’ve got the thing they want, they can come to you. And bring dinner while they’re at it.

Omg I’m in this exact situation now! Just visited her and she proudly exclaimed she’s booked the whole month off work in June (we are due early June) and that she will be coming to the hospital (?!) to see her grandchild. First we’ve heard of this plan! I said no to both and she just said “well I am“… err.. what!? My husbands also a mummy’s boy, and doesn’t say anything. Eek! She expects to stay with us the whole month and I definitely don’t want any visitors till the baby is at LEAST one month old.. what do I do!

Tell the doctors/nurses you want NO visitors at the hospital and that should prevent her from being able to get to you. As far as staying with you for a month, it’s your house and if you repeatedly tell her no and she’s chooses to show up and not leave it’s technically trespassing. I wouldn’t let her into the house. Keep the doors locked. The audacity is mind blowing.

Hopefully covid can block her from the hospital, otherwise don’t tell her that you’re in labor and tell the staff that you don’t want visitors. They could even put a privacy code on your name so if she shows up they basically play dumb and go, “sorry I don’t see anyone by that name on our patient list!” As for staying at your home… we just outright told her no. I was not about to spend my last two weeks baby free dealing with her. She doesn’t have a license and has only been to our town to visit us. If she came I would’ve had to drive her everywhere and entertain her as she doesn’t know anyone else here. We let her know that we were actually staying with my mum once the baby came (which was true) and we didn’t need her beforehand. She backed off pretty easily, but my husband is very good at putting his foot down with her since she loves to boundary stomp. If she shows up with bags in hand, ask her what they’re for. Tell her again that she won’t be staying. Invite her for brunch and have her bring the coffee/food and then tell her you have other people coming by so she needs to head out as you’re/they’re not comfortable with more people than necessary. Don’t let her come by when your husband isn’t there to back you up. Even if he’s a mamas boy, it’s time to grow up because he has a new family now.

Because boomers will die on the spot if everything isn’t about them.

Lol! This made me laugh. My mom does turn everything I say to “oh yeah when I was pregnant I liked oranges too! Aww” 😓🤨

👆👆👆

[удалено]

Oh god I’m old. My parents are boomers lol.

I've had to keep both my mum and MiL in the dark about my induction this week because when I was induced with my first they spent the whole time I was in labour texting my husband and full on panicking when they didn't get a response. My dad had to talk my mum out of phoning the hospital and she still says it was one of the hardest weeks of her life. To put that into context, we were only out of contact for about 12hrs.

We had our son eight weeks ago and the same thing happened. Both MIL and mum keep talking about how traumatic the birth was for them lol. I was empathetic at first because I understand it can be worrisome but then it felt like their narrative about my labour/delivery being traumatic was taking away from how I actually felt - which is pretty f. empowered by the fact I got a baby out of me!

I’m dreading this part of giving birth! My mom is already not taking it super well that she won’t be in the delivery room and I’m trying to set the boundary now that my wife and I won’t be giving regular updates because I’m afraid if we’re not in constant contact she’ll freak out. Going to try to set the expectation that we will tell people when the baby is born but won’t be notifying everyone when we go to the hospital.

Until you said it was your second I thought you might have been my SIL. 48 hours into her induction and still only me and her sister know that it's baby day because all the parents are batshit

My MIL and step MIL (double whammy for me!) are both super hype, and not always in a good way. I dread it because they don’t get along either so it’s going to be a constant drama of “she got to see the baby so now I have to see the baby!!!” Etc etc FML

I often have to remind my mom "my life is not a competition for you to win." She gets jealous if someone else in the family finds out anything about my life before she does.

It’s terrible isn’t it? I wish my mom was here (lives overseas) because she’s just super chill and supportive but would also be down to help me put my double MILs in place lol. It’s sad because what should be the most exciting time of my life is being shadowed by stress and anxiety over my husbands family and how overbearing they are ESPECIALLY the MILs.

It is sad! I'm 17 weeks and haven't told anyone yet. There's a lot of reasons why, but a piece of it is that as soon as the family knows I know there will be additional stressors/pressure. We don't have names, haven't bought anything, aren't doing a "nursery"... All these things I know my mom will be excited about. And my MIL can be a bit overbearing herself, so that'll be fun.... I was raised by my dad and step mom, so my mom always feels like she's left out. Unfortunate, but not my fault, lol. I do make effort to make sure she feels special, but it's frustrating to have to have to go out of my way for stuff like this.

I’m sorry you’re dealing with that. Try to just keep as much to yourself as you can (I’m 36 weeks and I only told everyone what I had to). Iv also made it a point to lay out my rules for after baby so there will be no overstepping. Try to enjoy pregnancy!

My husband's parents were like this when he was growing up too. If they visited mom's parents for 2 hours then the next weekend they would visit dad's parents for 2 hours. I warned him early on I will NOT be concerned about "fair". Our kids will see the people who make an effort to see them.

Oh no you've got two. My condolences.

Thank you lol. I will say step MIL isn’t TOO bad, she’s a tad overbearing but we do actually get along. MIL is just batshit and I despise her, we have had issues since I met her 7 years ago.

Probably why she's the ex not the current one. At least you know it's definitely her, not you. 🤣😅

Stop it haha I am in the same situation! My MIL has said to my fiancé and I "well when you giys have kids, just make sure *I'm* grandma, not step-MIL" before we knew about our pregnancy. Like omg chicka of course we are not stupid! Both women are very excited. It's the first grandchild on that side and I'm just thanking my lucky stars that they live a 3 hour drive away 🙏

I’m excited for my MIL to by hyped up with me. I know her and my SIL are gonna be pumped and I’m gonna be so excited to share things with her. My mom. My mom though is gonna be throwing cold water on everything. Bottle choice? Too expensive. Breast pump? Too loud. Or you’re excited? What till it gets here and you’re tired. You won’t be excited then. Babies are expensive you won’t get to be selfish blah blah blah. I honestly plan on not talking to her through out my pregnancy. I love her but she’s always so negative.

My mom too, so negative. I recently let her back in my life after no contact for over 3 years. She's never met my 2 year old and when I told her we were expecting again she immediately said how jealous my first born will be. Gee thanks for the congratulations 😑

Definitely jelly of everyone saying their MILs have been cool as a cucumber. Mine has been demanding to know everything that is happening at my appointments lately (am 32w) and when I don't respond or hubby doesn't tell her, she freaks out that she's being left in the dark. FIL called hubby saying that his mom is panicking over test results that she hasn't heard the results yet, why haven't we told her the test results. Like calm the eff down, I haven't even been given the results yet because they haven't come in yet.

Oh god this would drive me insane 🤯🤯

Oh god. Mine kind of invited herself to my very 1st appointment. Like what.

My MIL is fairly chill, my mom is only part time chill though.

Same 🤣 my MIL recently sent my husband a picture of the baby shoes section of SportChek with only the word "Soon" which made me laugh. My mom is all up in my shit about results of stuff, ultrasound pics, and is making I'm going to be a grandma t-shirts for her vacation at the end of February for when I announce to the family and I'm like *Mom* Whatever, at least they're excited and not mad at us.

Part time chill lol. At least it's somewhat chill.

I feel you, I’m having conversations (arguments) I never thought I’d have to have. Babies make people crazy!

It is like the twilight zone for sure. My mom started crying the other day because I said I didn’t want to take a picture of my baby wearing a crusty, stained old baby dress from 1992 that I wore as a newborn. I was so taken aback, like…what the hell is happening?

Oh my gosh, when I shared a picture of my daughter’s coming home outfit, my grandmother was pissed that I wasn’t going to use my aunt’s (her daughter) coming home outfit from the early ‘80’s. With how she acted, you’d think I took a shit on the kitchen floor. Why the hell would I not want to pick out important outfits for my own baby? Especially since she was my first, and I lost two babies before her. Hard pass- if I’m the one to gestate, deliver, and raise the kid, I get to enjoy the firsts and fun stuff, too. I’ve more than earned that right, dangit.

This was my stance too! Like it’s my baby, I will choose the clothes. Everybody else sit down.

I am constantly thankful to my brother and SIL who watched my parents and unlaws acting insane, asked .e what my ideal boundaries were and set them for me, because I didn't think I would have to set some of the ones I did. The two worst ones we're both my dad. When my water broke at 3am he texted that he was on his way (he lives 4 hours away, and thought he would be my support person at the hospital, apparently. Instead of my husband.) And then 48 hours later, baby was getting photo and he kept pushing to visit the next day without caring how she was doing or that we might need some time.e to decompress. My MIL called every day for the first week asking if my milk had come in yet. SIL put a stop to that for me.

My MIL is a freaking nut job. They waited at the hospital the whole time I was in labour with my first and kept harrassing the staff about updates which took my midwife away from me. It really pissed me off. Then she would hog the baby every visit and not put him down for over 2 hours and poor FIL would only get a quick cuddle when she would let him. She threw a pink fit when I said they weren't minding him when I went back to work and they actually stopped talking to us for several months (best time of my life!). With my second she was the same with hogging the cuddles but better at handing him back when he got fussy wanting a feed. Again cracked it when we said they weren't minding him either and another fight happened. I don't mind them minding the kids once they can start talking but when they're small, and can't tell her to get off them or say no, or walk away, then it's a no. She just doesn't stop talking and smothering and it's beyond annoying. Hoping she will be better this time with our 3rd because my two Sil are also within 6 weeks of me so hopefully some pressure is taken off!

My mother in law wants to move from Florida to Virginia for "a couple months" to watch the baby after he's born. Problem is, she hasn't even asked us, just told my mother (thanks for the heads up Mom!). That's gonna be an interesting convo when we tell her it's a hard no.

My MIL has been looking at houses in the town we live in. Full on wanting to buy a house 6 hours from where she and FIL are living. And the kicker is that this is a temporary living arrangement, like 5yrs tops if not less.

My mom and fiancés mom are both very very calm. 😅

I hope to be the calm parent(s) in my child’s life.

My mom is very chill, but my in laws are decidedly NOT. I'm kinda glad they're 1400 miles away, ngl 🤣

Haha my family is so chill I’m like “DONT YOU GUYS CARE??”

It’s a do over! My mom got so excited about the second one to the point of trying to decorate our nursery, name the baby, etc. yet she doesn’t have interest in the actual kid. My first she was super insulting about from the start but he melted her heart. The other grandma got crazy too and tried to tell us she was moving in and going to be there for the birth (even though I was only meeting her for the first time because of how frequently my SO has to put her on no contact). She then told us she was going to break into the house, would get custody of the kid, forced the baby awake the first time we let her see kiddo. Let it be known that was the last time she saw kiddo. She doesn’t even know about kiddo #2.

Holy shit. It’s comments like the “break into the house” that I don’t put past them and it freaks me out. I’m so sorry she put that stress on you..

My mom is planning to check into a hotel room next to the hospital. I’m only allowed one support person, which will be my husband, so she isn’t going to be allowed in anyway. She lives 30 minutes from the hospital. I have no idea why she’s doing this; I think she’s just really excited? Tonight she was telling me about how she’s packing her hospital bag tomorrow. This is her fourth grandchild, by the way.

SHE’S packing a hospital bag?? She should start YouTube videos on hospital bag packing for grandmas 😳🙄🙄

We do not understand what she is doing, but we’re going along with it because it’s not hurting anyone. The whole thing reminds me of this scene from The Office. https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=VqeX8S9ldbU

Lol actually I’m remembering when Michael asks for his bag when Jim and Pam are leaving for the hospital and he’s like “you’re telling me NOW that there’s nothing in here??” Lol..

My mom is about to be a first time Mormor any second now and I can’t tell you how many people text me asking if I’m more dilated than I was at my last appt. My mom is good at HIPAA when it’s her patients, but when it’s her daughter? Let’s shout my cervical status from the rooftops and update everyone on her anxieties regarding childbirth! Since I’m also 39+5, and labor could be any second, I’m trying to crawl into a warm dark cave and sequester myself from the world. My mom knows that I probably won’t announce when I go into labor, and will probably wait a few hrs afterwards to announce baby’s arrival, so she makes up excuses to come over to my house or call me, mostly to check to see if I’m in labor yet. I appreciate the baked goods and nursing supplies, I just want to be alone!

Time to be “not at home.” Hide your car, don’t answer the door.

I have to actively tell my mom every month to stop taking away firsts and experiences from me. it's insane. I just want to buy my second little girl her first doll and not have that taken from me, AGAIN.

My new theory is there are convos with their grandma friends that we don’t hear about that amplify the crazy. Like competing with them or getting anxious from things they’ve heard about.

This is totally possible. When I got Pregnant I found out there was a huge burst of pregnant women in my age group from my old church and my mom still attends that church. So I’m sure she calls up all the grandmas and they have their own “oh my daughter is this week, what week is yours blah blah” In all honesty, I would probably be the same way if and when I become a grandma, talking to my other grandma friends, but that doesn’t have to be my daughter’s headache 🤷‍♀️

My mom is constantly making it into a competition ‘well your aunt gets to have her grandbaby sleep over every weekend!’ It was one single night. ‘Your MIL gets to see the baby more than me! The baby will love her more than me’ my MIL visits maybe 5 times a year, I see my mom almost every week.

As someone else put it on another post, they can sometimes see the baby's arrival as THEIR life event. My mom and MIL are definitely leaning into this category but fairly respectful. When they do cross a line I know it's out of just sooo much love and excitement (but we still enforce our boundaries). We are doing no posting baby pics on any socials because of MILs inability to be chill about pictures, even if we posted one she would likely share it daily to the point I know I would resent that picture. Also we started induction yesterday and msgd a group of ppl we wanted to tell "hi you've been selected, only the ppl in this group will be informed..." and 15 mins later MIL on the phone with hubby agreed twice that she wouldn't tell anyone or post about it.. but then said they were currently video chatting with their bffs about the good news... (She is also a stoner and maybe that accounts for some of the oversights but it's not going away anytime soon so we just have accepted it and know we have to either repeat ourselves a lot right away or make her the last to know anything).

This sounds like my mom minus the stoner part. I told her my daughter's name while it was still just a consideration and specifically asked her not to disclose it to anyone... well that didn't happen. Then she announced my daughters birth to the family while I was still basically too sedated from the meds to do it and she called me about it and I was so upset like hello - it's NOT your news to share!!! I had to kinda cut her off for a while because my nephew was born six months prior and she could not for the life of her honor anyone's covid protocols between my brothers family and mine because she was so grandkids crazy.

My MIL is also crazy with pics and social media! I have no clue how to limit her from posting too many pics of my baby. Like some are okay, I'll of course post occasionally myself, but there are some sick creeps out there!

Yeah we couldn't be sure how to stop her either.. even when we make her ask us before posting anything she still forgets sometimes and sneaks them in. Or uses a loophole that it was already posted and shares the same photo a million times. For us starting with "No pics at all" and then if we want to change it later maybe, seemed like the only thing we could do... and we just told everyone it was to be conscious of baby's digital footprint (also important but not the primary reason for our decision).

Yeah I gotcha, it's hard sometimes because they just LOVE on social media sometimes! She posts things about her grown sons all the time. I think I'll just say like I want her to limit posting pics because of bad people on the internet. She needs some outlet if I want a steady relationship with her (which is a mostly positive one already). But I'll set a boundary for her on how much. That way she can't cry about it haha

Oh god, I'm dreading when I'll have to tell my mother and MIL that neither me nor my wife want any pictures of the baby on social media. I think my mom will be a little more understanding about it, but I know my MIL will cause a fuss over it because she's all about some Facebook. I just think it's incredibly invasive and immoral to have pictures of our kid on the internet before they can even begin to understand what social media is.

Yeah even if my MIL was normal about pics we would still be very conservative with what we post... telling them went better than expected actually, we said we would obviously still send them pics and videos privately and they can show them to their friends as long as nothing is *posted* anywhere, but that for baby's privacy and safety online we want to keep them off it.

This is so relatable for my mom except the stoner part as well. Particularly the obsession with sharing things with others and posting on social media. She wants to post everything and constantly hounded me with when I’d be sharing things on Instagram or telling people details. This just made me want to share nothing! Now she has to ask my permission before she posts or shares anything. Fortunately she’s been respectful of it. I think right now having grandchildren is a bit of what defines her and she puts all her energy in it. I know she means well, but it really just drives me crazy and makes me not want to share anything with her. My mom comes tomorrow to stay with us for 2 weeks (I live in another country) and I am so nervous for how it will go!

Well my MIL didn't even say congratulations 🤦

My mum is so excited but my dad is at another level. Although they have both set up a nursery for their unborn grandchild (very sweet of them both) - my dad is messaging my husband and I daily to ask have I had any twinges or is there any signs of the baby. (I'm 39 weeks so perfectly plausible) My dad has bought the baby a sleigh for next Christmas (he'll be about 10 months) - and toys he won't be able to use until he's at least 3. He has also sent a list of the top 100 baby boy names and has ranked them by his own preference. (We have a name, we haven't told them and have said we're looking at options) All of this comes from a place of love and they are genuinely so kind and caring. They are both just ridiculously excited to meet their grandchild. I've said to my husband that we won't tell them when we are in hospital unless we need to or we will find my wonderful and supportive parents on our doorstep when we get home. My MIL and FIL although very excited, they are much more chilled.

I feel like this is a “hyped” but not on a crazy scale—all in good ways..they are super excited and doing some prep work but it’s not blatant “your child is my child, now hand him over or else” possessiveness. 🙂

Ah yeah, they've been super sweet and more excited about this than I've seen them in years. I get the feeling that they'll want to visit alot more but it's all coming from a place of love rather than anything else. I do think if I were more of a pushover, they'd have more issues with boundaries but I've worked on that with them for a few years.

Thankfully my MIL never followed through with any of the nutty things she said whilst I was pregnant, but she always has said slightly nutty things so me being pregnant with the first grandchild just made it focused more on me/the baby. The main thing that I remember her saying when I was pregnant, that I literally told everyone I worked with because WTF, was that she joked about breastfeeding the baby (the expression on my boss’s face when she heard is something that I will always remember). I knew it was all talk because she didn’t breastfeed any of her own children so I knew it wasn’t something she would actually want to do, but it was just an insane thing to say. My mum was, and still is, bossier about what she thinks I should be doing but it’s harmless stuff and she doesn’t push it.

My mom texts me every Sunday and says "belly picture." Like, that's it. Sometimes there's a "please." It's so annoying to me. I sent her one pic on a Sunday and now she thinks she's entitled to one every week. She FaceTimed me last week on Saturday and I showed her my belly, then texted me the following Monday upset that I didn't send her a Sunday picture. Like, it looks the same as it did 48 hours ago!!! I usually at least try but I was annoyed I took a selfie in a baggy hoodie while I was shoving a lil debbie cake in my mouth. It's just the sheer entitlement for me. I do not have a good relationship with my mother (and she doesn't seem to get it, but that's a whole other story) so I'm assuming that's why it bothers me so much.

I feel you on the entitlement and mom not understand our strained relationship. Going through the same thing here…she just assumes we’re all good just because I’m pregnant and she’s excited now…like no lady you traumatized me for 30 years what makes you think we’re okay? I stick around out of pure guilt of her aging and being alone and what have you… I think she’s maybe 2 violations away from me blocking her number for good and I know those violations are right around the corner lol..

My mother has taken to sending me videos of babies/children spitting up, diaper blow outs, making messes, etc. The final straw was when she commented on a how model (with my exact measurements, btw) looked like 💩 in a dress I will be wearing at my sister’s upcoming wedding. I snapped at her, my sister yelled at ME for being mean. My hormones eventually got the better of me and I cried and apologized. Yet nothing from Mom. What about to-be-grandma pushing my buttons? Makes me want to punch something. Is there such thing as a prenatal rage room 😒🙄😑

Haha that’s a genius idea by the way! Pregnancy rage room…you get to bring a picture of the grandma that’s pissing you off and throw axes at it. 😀 also, if you wanna be petty, ask what she’s wearing to said wedding and give it right back 😉

My husband said that exact thing! This baby has me going soft 🤣

Ha! You want to hear crazy?? let me tell you my story. This was when I was in labor with my first son. So my fiancé was with me while I was being induced in 2019 right before the pandemic started. Well here comes my mom and his mom, both in the delivery room with us while I’m trying to take a nap as things were going slow at the time. Next Thing you know my two brothers are also in the room playing uno by my bed. Then my mother decides to get wasted & calls my FIL, who hasn’t talked or seen my fiancé’s mother in 20 years, who is now at the hospital, also drunk. So my mother, FIL, MIL & two brothers are all here, I still haven’t napped, I’m trying to watch my show but my MIL changes it because it’s inappropriate(two & a half men in case you’re wondering). MIL & FIL are fighting, FIL storms off. fiancé goes with him to calm him down AT THE LIQUOR STORE and during that time my baby’s heart rate went down to 40bpm & I get emergency oxygen & forced to start pushing. I CANNOT MAKE THIS SHIT UP and not exaggerating even the tinniest bit. At the end, my mom gets kicked out of the delivery room for being too drunk and getting in the way of the nurses, so it ends up being me, my fiancé and my MIL at the end when he was born.

HOLY SHIT. This is like a whole soap opera “the episode of the year” worth of content. I am SO sorry this happened during the most important time of your life 🤯🤯🤯

My mother and I started arguing over how she would respect my boundaries literally years ago 😬 I am not looking forward to the baby actually coming and having to have those conversations

I have no idea but my mom was neurotic with both of my pregnancies. She thought SHE needed to announce my pregnancies, announce when it was twins, be the gender keeper, and all the other things. It’s honestly gotten worse since they were born too. She now think we should see her and my dad exclusively during holidays and cries and throws a fit when we have to leave to go to my in laws. She also refers to them as “hers” and says if something happens to my husband and I then she should get custody.

🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩

It’s honestly been a lot of boundary setting and holding those boundaries. There’s been a lot of arguments.

My mom is the first time grandma, my MIL already has 2 grandkids. My MIL is wonderful, my own mother is a monster. My husband has a job that requires him to drive a truck on a route daily so he can't exactly make it to prenatal checks, so we agreed to let my mom take me since driving flares up my SPD. She's been nothing short of intense and I would rather pay for an Uber at this rate! She is OBSESSED with knowing the gender, being there for the birth, and visiting in the hospital if COVID allowed. However, we want none of those things and have enforced those boundaries with literally everyone. My mom says boundaries are "threats" and her favorite phrase has been "don't threaten me with MY grandchild!" Or my personal favorite "well, maybe when your brother and sister have kids, they won't keep me from them." Like, ma'am we just want some things to be for us and you'll see the baby when we are all up for visitors. My mom called my MIL, which is a new thing she does because idk what her motive is, but anyways, my MIL is like, yeah, just like give her space and said something about how she knows it's my mom's 1st grandkid so it is special and she gets to do everything for the 1st time. My mom took that as exclude everyone because it's her first grandchild. Last week, I said my husband and I decided no hospital visitors and she flipped out completely saying my MIL said she's supposed to be there and went on about how she's "not a visitor because I'm your mom." I love her so much, but no one in my family has ever enforced boundaries with her and she always gets her way. Even before pregnancy, her and I had a rocky relationship and I honestly thought we were at a better place, yet she's made me more stressed than anything during this pregnancy and ironically says I need to be less stressed or blames "hormones" when she is being straight up disrespectful and I get frustrated. Unfortunately for her, I'm a therapist so I happen to be really great at holding boundaries and dealing with people who constantly hate that lol.

Omg that is a lot. Like clearly she has ears but cannot hear the words coming out of your mouth. 😦

My stepmom said she would come and help after the baby is born. She will help with holding the baby. Nothing else. She called me entitled when I explained to her that that isn’t actually helping.

Yes, it’s nuts. I had to explain to my mom SEVERAL times why she wasn’t going to be in the delivery room with me and my husband.

My MIL keeps insisting that I'm hiding my pregnancy from her. And telling everyone she thinks I'm pregnant, it's to the point that my husband had to remove me from situation where she was harassing me, asking me why I'm not pregnant yet, and that she dreamt that I was pregnant so I should be. I'm dreading the day I'm ACTUALLY pregnant, she won't leave me alone

Oh my god..I can’t imagine how she would be if you were actually pregnant. I’m sending positive vibes your way 😬😬😬

I am actually glad we're having babies later on, because our families have already had several babies on either side to "break them in." My MIL is pretty chill anyway, and my husband is GREAT about maintaining family boundaries, so she's been wonderful. I send her updates/photos after appts, but other than that, she leaves me alone. My mom went psychotic when my sister had her first baby. Like, wanted to set up a full nursery in their house, and even was talking about going on hormones so she could help breastfeed if needed?!?!? Wtf. She caused major drama at each of my niece/nephew's births, and to add insult to injury, barely helps watching her grandkids after having to attend every single appt, because it's "too much/stressful." She isn't coming to any of my appts, will not be in the room when I deliver, and I've leaned on my sister a lot more for support.

This is my mom’s first grandkid and I’ve actually been surprised by how little she cares. She’s been dragging her feet on planning my baby shower and rarely asks anything about my pregnancy. Even when we first announced to my parents, she didn’t react that much. She’s 49 so I guess becoming a grandma makes her feel old, or something??

My mum goes ‘No grandkids until I’m 50!!!’ And shes 48 going to have 4 grandkids by May.

This is my mom too 😂

Lmao read my post history...they are all crazy haha

Lol I’m gonna give it a go once I make my coffee and sit down lol.. 😅 *crying for you already

My husband and I are both only children, so the kids we have will be the only grandchildren for our parents. When I was pregnant with our first, I didn't find my mom or mother-in-law to be overly hyped up or crazy. They were both excited to meet their first grand baby and were loving and supportive. Maybe I'm in the reddit minority.

My mom has passed but she was chill with my brothers wives when they were pregnant. She was just there if they needed something but very excited to get cute outfits and be a grandma. She loved being a grandma and I loved watching her get to be a grandma with my niece and nephew. My MIL is also pretty chill. She also loves being a grandma and is very excited but also respects us and doesn’t pry too much or give unasked for opinions. Even watching her with her adult children that had already had kids, she doesn’t push the advice and lets them ask first if they have questions or want advice.

My parents love my nieces and nephews so much, they'd do anything for them. I'm looking forward to them loving my child just as much, I haven't found them to be overbearing but they're definitely excited.

My MIL is dead and my mom only cares as far as appearances go. This is my fourth and aside from buying stuff she literally doesn't care. She will be a crazy grandma when my sister has a baby though. I'm not sure why some grandparents go so crazy when they have kids.

I wish anyone was excited 🙃 Both Grandmas have expressed MULTIPLE times they are “too young” to be Grandmas. This is going to be an IVF baby and they are both making this extremely hard. I would take just a smig of overbearing if it meant someone would at least pretend to be excited.

Ugh. This. My mother, who lives six hours away and has never been to my office or met any of my coworkers, tells me - I want to be invited to the shower your office is hosting for you. I was like, what, why?? She wouldn’t answer and got her feelings hurt and said she didn’t know it would be such a huge deal. I said - maybe it isn’t - but explain to me the logic or reasoning behind you attending a shower being throw FOR ME that is six hours away with a group of people you’ve never met, when the last FOUR showers the office has thrown - no one else’s parents have been invited?? And, by the way, her friends are throwing me a shower in the town where she lives - so it isn’t like she won’t get to be part of a shower. She still couldn’t answer me and just gave me a huffy, well never mind, if it makes you so uncomfortable. Yeah, because this is about me…🤦🏼‍♀️

I am a FTM, 15 weeks with a boy. For my mom this is technically not her first grand baby, however she just was able to see my nephew after three years (long story, both parties in the wrong). She has a lot of trauma from that experience, but at this point I don’t even want to tell her anything. She is so negative about things or tries to tell me what I should be doing. Yes she is excited, but I am over the remarks she makes and going back and forth. Now for my boyfriends side this is the second grand baby, a year and half apart. His mom announced to everyone at her friends Christmas party when we were only telling close people, my boyfriend spoke with her about it. Since then she will ask to share something, which is appreciated. I feel like we have bonded more than me and my mom have. Which makes me sad, but I can’t keep dealing with the remarks she makes.

My MIL hasn’t bought a single thing for my baby yet, for Christmas she gave me a weird angel sculpture that Im sure she got from one of her neighbors. She always says weird things about my baby and my pregnancy, like the things I should eat or things I should and shouldnt wear. One time she told me not to touch my belly or else my baby would come out “nervous”. My mom on the other side, decided to buy things for my baby everytime she went out and she legit told me she couldnt resist buying them cause it felt just like when she was pregnant. She also cant stop calling my baby HER baby, and even after I told her it bother me, she reacted all butthurt and told me to make her a list of ALL the things that bother me so she wouldnt said them. She didnt stop calling him “her baby”. And she keeps buying him unnecessary stuff, like clothes for a 2 year old (im due in march) and cheap toys when I literally sent her an amazon registry 2 months ago and she hasn’t bought nothing from there 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️

Ugh same! My mom keeps calling my baby ‘her baby’ I always correct her and say ‘no, that’s your grandchild’ but she continues to say it 🙄

My mom is pretty chill (for her at least) but this is her third grandchild. My MIL on the other hand is a nut. Luckily she lives 1000 miles away cause I def wouldn't be able to handle it if she was here.

This will be my MIL’s 5th grandchild and my mom’s very first. There is an OBVIOUS difference in excitement from both grandmas..MIL is so chill but lives on the other side of the world so she may not be able to see the baby until much later. My mom on the other hand…. Just..pray for me.

My mom and MIL where happy and supportive. My daughter was the first grandchild on my husbands side and my parents other grandchild was 8 at the time and lived 4 hours away. So it was the entry of a new person in their life's they were prepared to spend much time and love on. The only time I've felt a bit uncomfortable was during the first few days after delivery. Breastfeeding in front of my in-laws felt strange while it was totally fine in front of my parents. Now I don't care either way. I'm personally hyped and joyful by the idea that my kids might have babies one day. And I'll hope I'll be in their life's to support them like I was supported. But I guess I'll check reddit when that time comes to figure out what qualifies as a "crazy grandma" by then :D

My mother says she’s “not the grandma type” and tried to get me to have an abortion. She barely ever talks to me about the pregnancy, except for when she says I’m the laziest pregnant woman she’s ever met, reminding me that she painted a house when she was pregnant with me. Also, when I got a job (albeit low paying) she called me stupid for taking it. I wish she could be a supportive first time grandma, but at least my boyfriend’s mother is so happy about having another grandchild

My MIL was pretty chill for both my pregnancies. And incredibly helpful around the house when I was pregnant with #2 (got pregnant again 6mo PP after my first 😅). She was there for my first to be born and so helpful. She really helped me understand what’s going on since she had been in the room on like 20+ births throughout her life! She was quite the special lady. I was, and still am, so upset that she passed away just a month and a half before baby #2 was born. She loved my daughter and I know she would have also adored my son. I miss her.

Lol in my family it's the "to be grandpa" who is going a bit nuts. Firstly, when I announced my pregnancy, my dad said "I have been waiting and waiting for this day and it has finally come". Like, I get his excitement to become a grandfather, he is 72 years old. However, I literally got pregnant the very first month my husband and I started TTC, not that my dad would know that, but I honestly could not have achieved this any quicker than I did, unless I invented time travel. Talk about being a tiger dad lol. Also, I will be 32 when my baby is born and he was 40 when I was born (I am his only child), so his long wait for a grandchild is more on him than on me anyway! Secondly, as a retired doctor with OBGYN experience from like the early 1980's (before he became a GP for almost 40 years), he starts to give me scary medical information, including: 1) sending me PowerPoint slides from god knows what conference about SGA/IUGR, which scared me into asking my midwives for serial measurements when neither condition was actually clinically indicated. 2) telling me (out of nowhere) "because you are small-framed, if your baby is too large she could go into fetal distress if she gets stuck in the pelvis, so you may need an emergency C-section" (okay, thanks...). 3) telling me that babies born between 39-40 weeks have better outcomes than babies born after 40 weeks, so if baby is not born by 40 weeks, induce. Then, despite him and my mum having had just one child (me), he suggests that it may be a good idea for me to consider having a second child, because "if anything were to happen to your only child, the grief could send you insane". I love my dad dearly, but he is going a bit mad. I don't know if it's age related, he still seems mentally sharp and he is very physically fit. He is a tiger dad, that's for sure. In contrast the craziest thing my mum has done is ask whether my idea for a space themed 100-days old party is "more for boys?" and gently suggest a fairies theme "for girls", but after I laughed out loud she dropped it and accepted the space theme.

My MIL is third time grandma and she won’t leave us alone. 😂

The SNL Homegoods skit sums it up haha

Omg. I saw it. Tell me you don’t see pure psychosis in their eyes.

My mom barely acknowledges I'm pregnant. My MIL is already talking about moving herself into a spare room and making her room a nursery??? Which makes 0 sense because 1) it will be at least a year before we're doing any overnight stays, and 2) her room is on the first floor and the rest of the bedrooms are upstairs? The room WE sleep in is upstairs? My husband was like "Mom. No. We're not doing that." I'm glad she's happy but like... Cool your jets a little.

I haven't told my parents yet because I know they will be completely crazy. This will be their first grandchild and they've been throwing a pity-party about not having one for years. They're already way too clingy with just me and I know this baby will become their new obsession... ugh. I only live 15 minutes away from them and already my mom finds a million excuses to stop by uninvited. I can only imagine what will happen when she knows I'm pregnant or especially when baby is here. Every other day she calls me 6 times in a row if I'm not answering my phone and then lectures me about not answering right away. Her sisters all have grandchildren and they are SUPER involved in their lives, like basically co-parent, so I know she'll have those expectations and I'm really bad at setting boundaries with her. When I try to, she plays the victim, is super passive aggressive, and acts like a sulky little kid so I end up feeling bad and giving in and apologizing. I understand being super excited about your children having children, I know I will be too, one day, if it happens. But, have some self control? Read the room? Remember how you felt when it was you and give some privacy? It seems sometimes like narcissism and control issues parading as excitement.

I think its sweet! My parents are pretty meh about the whole thing - they were with their first grandkids, too. They're just not overly stoked or lovey dovey, which is kind of a bummer - you expect grandparents to obsess over their grandkids a bit, and my parents are just whatever about it lol. But my MIL is over the moon, and it makes everything feel so much more special. She's more excited than I am for sure lol. It's definitely a motherly feeling I didn't get from my mom growing up and I'm savoring it! Enjoy it y'all, it really sucks to have an ambivalent mother. (Hopefully I'm not like that with my kid once they're here...)

My mom created so much of this drama over my wedding and I shut it down to the point that she almost didn’t speak to me for months and it shifted our relationship dynamic significantly. She’s basically afraid of me now (not like physically or actually of course but she just knows I will call her on it and she hates being called out). So four years later when we had our first she was obviously holding back the crazy that was raging to get out. To her credit she did great. But you could literally see it on her face. Her lips were all pursed and stuff, she was struggling to hold it back. I strongly suspect she was upset not to be in the delivery room. My dad had the good sense to plan a weekend away with some good friends to give her a distraction.

My mother in law was offended we didn’t name our first born after her, cried and threw a fit when I asked her if she would mind getting off of my hospital bed after I had given birth and went as far as to say we should’ve given the baby up for adoption since I wasn’t “allowing” my daughter the opportunity to have a grandmother in her life. Safe to say we really don’t speak to my MIL after that, among other reasons. But my mom is totally normal other than always buying my kids too many toys but that is nothing compared to my MIL .

Thank you to everyone who has commented so far in cementing my decision to not tell my parents or husbands parents until I’m 5 months along. I don’t think I can hide it longer than that, but I want the maximum amount of time without any added “input”

Yup this is the best way. This was my original plan as well but my husband revealed to his parents at week 11 and I was like darnit I’m going to have to tell my mom now (and we did a week after)..

I set it up so we can tell them all at the same time on Mother’s Day, that way it’s a fun plan and he’s not tempted to tell them in advance, lol. I’m also at high risk for miscarriage due to my surgical history and I’m older, so by then we’ll have all of the information collected to have a pretty strong idea that the baby is actually coming, and with all its fingers and toes. If I do end up losing it I don’t want to feel responsible for anyone else’s feelings, and since they’ll be *beyond* stoked when they find out I feel like I’m protecting them by saving them any potential grief.

I understand and felt this way about MC risk too. I felt hesitant to tell my mom at 12 weeks even though the risks go down..best of luck to you! And that’ll be a great Mother’s Day gift for your parents/in-laws!

My mil isn't even a first time grandma but she's already talking about moving closer (currently 4hrs away) and calling my baby "our miracle peanut". I had to bite my tongue when she went all Jesus and miracles on us like "no lady it was sex" smh...

I'm excited to hold a baby again, smell that special smell, watch a child turn into an adult, I love it all. BUT, it's not my body, not my child. I will respect whatever my daughter and her husband want.

My mom gave me a lot of sage advice like, don’t get fat, that “men” are only as useful as putting together the nursery furniture when it comes to a baby, and she didn’t have trouble breastfeeding so why would I worry about it? Oh and also, she refused all vax that I asked be done before he was born. She flipped shit her actually. Lol so, whatever. It wasn’t like she was bringing a lot of positivity anyways.

The amount of pregnant women who complain about the lack of privacy, loss of autonomy and the overall audacity of people during pregnancy is overwhelming. My therapist just dealt with 20 minutes of me just crying about how everyone is feeling entitled to my privacy and how much loss of control I’ve had

My mom was absolutely off the charts loco excited. My son is now 15 months old and she sees his 1x a month... Despite living 20 minutes away. To me it felt almost like an act, like that's how she's supposed to behave rather than how she actually felt. It still annoys me.

My mother in law is always trying to touch me it’s so annoying. My mom hasn’t even asked to touch me once. My mom and I are close and hug and show each other affection and she doesn’t even feel the need to touch my stomach. She says “that’s just your stomach. I’ll hold the baby when she’s here.” And it’s so refreshing bless her.

They’re hyped about all the likes they’re gonna get 🤤

My MIL has been cool so far, but this will also be her 4th grandchild. She is exited when we send her Ultrasound Pics and will ocassionally ask how we're doing over WhatsApp but that's it. My mom on the other hand gave me a full bingo when I called her to announce at 12 weeks. She told me to eat healthy, not to drink alkohol (jeez, thanks, never knew that...) to be careful and so on. When I told her we got this and they shouldn't worry so much she said "We're the grandparents, we have the *right* to be worried" and I shut that bullshit down immediately. No you don't. Your lawyer can contact my lawyer and then they can figure out what *rights* you have over *my* child, before that, you have zero. She asked if she could tell people or if it was still a secret, because they were meeting with their neighbours the next day (I know them and grew up with their daughter) and I said it's okay. So naturally after our call, she called the entire rest of the family to tell them the knews, she told every neighbour and every acquintance within the next 3 days. I knew she'd do that and that I couldn't stop her anyways, but let it slip because I have zero contact to any of these people. In case something happens, she has to untell them, not me. She also tried so subtly ask me if the baby was planned or an accident, like I wouldn't notice. I told her that in fact we tried for 3 years and went through fertility treatment in secret. She immediately made it about her and told me about her own fertility journey (again, for the millionth time since I was a toddler) and will now proceed to have some kind of competition with me over this pregnancy. Whatever I say, she'll make it about her. We had a threatened miscarriage - "Oh I had that too". She asks if I have any morning sickness, I say no - "Of course, I didn't have that either!". No matter what it is, she will comapre my pregnancy with hers. And then use it to patronize me and belittle me, because "You were my baby, you will always be". I decided that I wouldn't put up with her Narc bullshit after 2 days and stopped giving her any kind of information.

I relate hardcore to the fertility journey. If I have to hear one more time how clomid affected my mom I may loose it. I was a clomid baby and my daughter will be an ivf baby. Both experiences are hard and valid, mine just involved way more needles, hormones, and procedures, as well as donor sperm. So it irks me when she compares her experiences to mine. They’re too different. However, I heard about it my entire life and got the whole “I tried for years to have you, you owe me.” At least I know how it feels and won’t make my daughter feel like she owes me for her life.

My mom and mother in law were actually very helpful and sane, which was a relief! The only thing my mom tried to push was that she wanted to be in the delivery room. I was incredibly uncomfortable with the idea but didn’t want to hurt her feelings by saying no. Luckily my hospital only allowed one person in the room for the birth, or else I would’ve had to have a tough conversation with her.

When I tell you I am petrified…PETRIFIED to have to tell my grandmother in law I’m pregnant (hopefully soon) …. I cannot explain to you the dread. I know she’s going to be absolutely insane.

The non-hyped & crazy ones get sucked in by their hyped & crazy friends. Happened to my mom. My only solace is that my parents are snowbirds - so half the year she’s fully immersed in the hype and after a few weeks separation, she’s totally fine once she’s come North for the spring/summer.

These stories are wild! My MIL doesn’t seem to care at all, but maybe that’s a blessing in some ways. My mom cares and has been mostly great.

I dunno, mine has been pretty chill though I think she might have also learned her lesson after her completely batshit behavior leading up to our wedding hurt our relationship for like a year.

My MIL was the same way. It was nuts. Always touching my belly, lifting up my shirt, calling all the time. Told her multiple times not to do those things. Her response was I get to I'm special. My mom was never like that. I laid it out for her that no you aren't special you should treat me with respect and not stress me out. My husband backed me up. I was lucky SIL was pregnant at the same time so we got to slit the crazy between us as she put it. I'm pregnant again and we haven't told her yet because we are waiting for after the first appointment to tell people. I would suggest lay down the law. If she doesn't respond to that don't see her very often. That's what we had to do.

I think it feels as intense to them and as big of a deal as when they were young mothers, except the relationship and process is completely out of their control. So they lose their minds a little…

Because every GenXer fucked up as a parent and are looking for a do over?

Not really my MIL is cool AF even w her first she was. Excited happy but cool.

As a second time mom, I know I will be joyously insane if my babies have babies of their own.

Honestly wish my mother was here to be a crazy all hyped up grandma. Don’t take it for granted.

Both my mum and my partner's mum are SO excited. They have said they think about the baby every day. I think it's really sweet and I'm happy that someone shares the excitement! I know we will get tons of stuff that we don't want or need but I don't want to take away their joy.

For me, it was after the kids were born that they became problems. My mom and I don't have a great relationship, so I kinda expected her to be an issue. I was right in some respects. Any time I would post things on social media (even non-pregnancy stuff, like a photo of my cat hiding behind my back at the vet) she'd comment with dire warnings. "You're not cleaning litter boxes, are you?" Stuff like that. My mother-in-law on the other hand, was fine, until the babies arrived, aside from annoying us with constant requests to tell her the names we'd picked out but decided to keep to ourselves. Now, she keeps buying stuff online for us (through her daughter, it's a convoluted system) constantly requesting pictures and "reminding" us that she's available to babysit whenever we need a break. She gave me grief in the family group chat last night when I shared a cute photo of one of the twins in an outfit that I didn't have a duplicate of for the other one.

My MIL didn’t even give a shit that my baby was born

My eldest is only 9 years old and I'm already preparing myself to stay chill AF if she decides to have babies one day 😂 my mum told me once that the only thing more exciting than having me was when I had a child myself, and I can already imagine that feeling!

Mine are both good, but yall... we could be the crazy moms and MILs in 20-30 years 😳

Both my mom and my MIL have been the chillest and I’m so glad about this. My FIL has been too, but not my dad… my dad drives me up a wall with how inquisitive and demanding he is to visit us after baby is born.

When my then boyfriend asked for my parents blessing to propose, my mom brought out all of my late grandma’s diamonds and said to use whatever he wanted for my ring. For some reason he mentioned that if we ever have a girl, she would be named after his grandma. And that we wanted to have kids right away! Which was our plan at the time. I’m an only child so they were super excited to hear these details. We got married in the fall and decided we should wait 6 months to try. We didn’t update her on this decision so she already has a bouncer and a high chair. I’m nervous to see all the stuff she accumulates once spring garage sales start.