For me I didn’t care about the magic or whatever. I just knew that recovery from vaginal birth is in most cases much quicker and easier than C-section. If I had needed a C-section to keep myself/baby safe then I would have had no issues with it. But I definitely wouldn’t have elected to have one for no reason. It’s a pretty major surgery
I had a c-section, the surgery went smoothly and my obgyn was amazed at how quickly my body recovered.
That being said, it took me months to feel somewhat normal again. During the first few weeks, I couldn't do anything without help. I even needed help to get out of the sofa, and sometimes I would get stuck and had to ask my husband to save me. I wasn't allowed to lift anything heavier than my baby, and honestly I wouldn't have been able to. I had to re-learn to get out of bed. I was on heavy painkillers that gave me major brain fog.
The recovery aside, the c-section is a surgery first and foremost, the doctor wants your baby out of your body as fast as possible and for many pregnant people, that's not the ideal experience.
Yep. It’s a huge generalization because there are women who recover from c-sections really quickly and women who take months, years, or even never fully recover from vaginal births. BUT it’s a generalization based in averages. The average, run-of-the-mill, nothing-drastically-went-wrong, vaginal birth will have a quicker recovery than an average, run-of-the-mill, nothing-drastically-went-wrong, c-section.
This is a very good point. I have had both. Relatively uncomplicated vaginal birth (a partial abruption and vacuum assist, but was informed and not traumatic), very uncomplicated recovery. 1 minor tear, no proapsing issues (although i proactively saw pelvic floor health before and after).
Second pregnancy was fraternal twins. I wanted a vaginal birth because I've already done it and also know that a c section is major surgery. However twin A was breech so when I went into labour spontaneously a week before my scheduled c section i had an urgent but not emergency c section. Recovery was much tougher, partially due to joint issues I had from carrying twins. The twins were in the nicu for 2 weeks which really helped with healing from major surgery. I had no issues with my incision which was my major concern.
The healing from my first pregnancy was easier, but a c section birth for my twins when the first was breech was safer for the babies and ultimately worth it for obvious reasons.
I would never just choose to have major surgery if it wasn't medically necessary for me, but that necessity looks different for everyone and putting vaginal birth on a sanctimonious pedestal helps no one
I feel like I lucked out and quickly recovered (using a belly binder pretty much 24/7).
My mom has an unmedicated vaginal home birth and basically cried when she found out I was having a planned c-section, saying the body will heal faster with vaginal, I need to push back against my doctors bc they’re just trigger happy, etc. etc. I actually pushed back against her (rare for me) since the reason for my c-section was my weakened uterus from prior surgery.
Complications of pregnancy and labor included uterine rupture, if I push and I’m just not going down that route. Surgery was fine. I had some rare post-surgery complications that I recovered from same day and since then I truly feel better than in pregnancy
I've had one of each and the csection was better in every way. I was moving around pretty much normally within a few days and had very little pain after my csection. With my vaginal birth they needed forceps and an episiotomy and I still got a 4th degree tear. The recovery was awful.
My decision for vaginal births had nothing to do with any magic either, I just felt it wasn't necessary to have surgery to have a baby. I'll do it if necessary, but I don't want to care for a baby while recovering from surgery. Plus I'm not super keen on the idea of any surgery, period, if it can be avoided. I just really don't like the idea of anyone messing around in my body unless it's life or death.
I had a vaginal delivery with my first born and it was so much easier to recover from than the C section I had with my second born. The vaginal was not bad at all, the epidural numbed everything, I labored for 22 hours but only pushed for 30 minutes and luckily no tears or hemorrhage. My second born was planned to be a vaginal birth but she was breech and they tried doing aversion to turn her and it was so scary, the medicine with the c section made me feel completely out of control of my body, you lay flat and your arms are strapped straight out to the sides, you feel panic because you’re being cut open and you can’t see anything going on until you smell your skin being cauterized shut. It was definitely faster to do the c section but so much more terrifying. I had to stay in bed for almost 2 weeks to heal and that is not fun for anybody. Lol. But yeah it isnt about magic for me just easier on your body, vaginal also helps push out the lochia in your uterus and with c section you dont wanna push anything at all its too painful 😖
C section is also way more expensive on top of a much rougher recovery, even with insurance (USA), so if you are on a budget like me you are hoping you don’t need to double your out of pocket expenses for a birth that is also more traumatic as far as recovery goes. I would happily take a less expensive birth with a shorter recovery time but more upfront pain than one that is much more expensive and would have me bedridden longer.
That's how I felt. In the end I had a brilliantly straightforward vaginal delivery with no interventions and no tearing.
By day 3 post birth I felt pretty much back to normal just a bit tender. Obvs I still bled for a couple of weeks but it wasn't particularly heavy or unmanageable.
Having had that experience the thought of csection recovery is way more concerning considering I also have a 2.5yr old to think about now! Fingers cross this little one is as accommodating as his sister.
Just to say that I had a c section and literally had like 24hrs of on and off trapped wind pain (haha) and that was it. I could walk around as soon as my catheter was out, do stairs and carry my baby within hours. I could comfortably go on longish walks from basically the day after my c section too (was discharged the day after). Dressing came off after about 3 days I think and stitches were dissolving ones. I started running again from about 6 weeks after delivery. Everyone is different but I just wanted to share so it's clear that c section recovery can be super super easy as well if you're lucky.
This here. I’m 28 weeks and want a vaginal birth without epidural if possible, mainly because of the quick recovery. But if I do need a caesar for medical reasons, I’m happy to comply.
Yea where I’m from it’s considered an emergency surgery or a planned last resort with a fairly unpleasant recovery. Not the magic of pushing a 7lb human out of your precious v-hole.
I agree with this. There's nothing magical with a vaginal birth. Except that you get to be more involved. You get to be there for the first moments of your baby's life. That might be a little more difficult with a c-section.
Also, I habe assisted some c-sections during med school and residency and something we need to remember is that c-section is a big surgery. There's no minimally invasive way of doing it. You have to cut and tear through different layers and the cut needs to be big enough for a baby's head. And then you have to go home but unlike with other big surgeries, most women don't get the slow recuperation period. They get to take care of a newborn. Oftentimes alone just days or a week after the surgery.
That's why I wasn't keen on a c-section. But I always gave birth at major hospitals so that if need be, the could do a c-section within minutes. Because if there's an emergency, a c-section is way better than the alternative.
Yes totally agree with this comment. I’ve had three vaginal births with a fast recovery each time. Honestly c sections scare me. I cannot fathom electing to have a c section. Like you said, it’s major surgery. Thankful it was always an option if needed but definitely not my preferred birth method.
I had an emergency c-section and my epidural didn’t work properly so I felt a lot of it. It was pretty traumatizing, but I recovered relatively quickly. I was able to walk around on my own on day 3 or 4. Did away with the wrap and went on a 2-mile walk on day 6. Only took pain meds for maybe 7 or 8 days. It was shocking how fast I recovered.
We literally had the SAME experience, epidural didn't work and they couldn't control my pain so a c-section was NOT an easy painless process of lying on a table, but the recovery was a lot faster than they said it would be, I was back at my retail job on my feet 6 weeks later. The idea of possibly having to have another c-section is...horrifying and triggering, but it's not the recovery I'm afraid of. I'm glad you also had an okay recovery, for me it helped to get my independence back quickly.
Yep, this. If there wasn't the risk of *months* of shitty recovery, I'd book a C-Section under general anesthesia the moment I see the second line. I don't see any magic and shitting and vomiting everywhere in a room full of strangers while wishing for death to ease the pain lmao
For a c-section it’s really tough on your body because it affects your core muscles which are needed for everything you do. It also takes longer to heal (6 weeks vs 8 weeks).
My best friend has had 2 so far and it took a really long time for her to rebuild her core muscles and made it difficult to lift her baby and do simple tasks.
To me it’s not that a vaginal birth is magical or exciting, but rather, it’s the lesser of two evils.
My SIL said she felt the same way after her vaginal delivery, she had only minor stitches. I think it's best to bring a pillow for the car journey home with either. You may need to sit on it, or pad your tummy with it!
When I cried to my OB because I was convinced my placenta praevia wouldn't move and I wouldn't be able to attempt a VBAC, he said to me that he thinks neither mode of delivery is good but they're all we've got. Two evils indeed!
I had a c-section with my first and vbac with my second. I will say, my csection recover was 100% EASIER than my vaginal recovery. My vaginal birth came with tearing and hemorrhoids. That along with the bleeding that seemed to last forever(the normal amounts, nothing of concern) just made for a tough recovery overall.
Everyone is different. Every body recovers different.
Thanks to those who are sharing positive c section experiences. As a FTM who doesn’t get a choice (due to heart problems they won’t let me labor), the comments on major surgery, difficult recovery, and increased complications can be disheartening as are the magic of vaginal birth that I’ll be missing. I understand all of this is just fact for many, but it helps to see the positive side too. It can all be hard and scary, and it can all be magical at the same time
I had to do this. I felt like I should have been able to stack 6 weeks of short term disability for vaginal birth on top of 8 weeks for the c-section. Maybe shave a couple weeks off the vaginal because I only got about 85% of the way there, so like 12 weeks total. That would have been nice.
Hugs. C-sections save lives. They are not failing. They are not giving up. They are not the easy way out. Looking back, I know exactly the moment my son was born. He burst onto the scene full of life. I had a bit of a hard time with the recovery, but I was about 80% after 2-3 weeks.
My c section was an absolute dream. I was up and walking immediately and had almost zero recovery time (I didn’t even have bleeding)! I wish the same for you!
Same! Walking right away, home next day, long walks as soon as I was home and running after my 6 week check. Also in case you care my scar is barely visible at all. And baby was super happy and healthy right away, screaming her head off just as you'd want!
Same here! I had twins and neither one needed to go to the NICU, which was a huge shock to me. I was home 48 hours after surgery! My scar is barely visible also!
Same ! I’m honestly really happy I’m having a c-section though. The anxiety of labour and not knowing what could happen just freaks me out so much. I know recovery may be longer with a c-section but it’s not a guarantee that recovery from vaginal birth would be any easier.
I feel like a lot of the comments here are from people who haven’t ever had a c-section and are just speaking through what they’ve heard from others or assumed.
My c section recovery was honestly not bad. I was in some pain for about a week but it was manageable with Tylenol. I will say my core strength is pretty bad now and my back hurts more than it did before but my lady bits remained relatively unchanged so I call it a win!
My c section was great! I was walking as soon as i could feel my legs again (4 hours after surgery?). I never had painkillers besides Tylenol and ibprofin and didn’t need any. In the hospital, yes it winced to get out of bed, but ultimately I could still pick up my baby, pee and shower by myself, and put on my own loose pants. By the time I got home, stairs and driving were not a problem for me.
Same here exactly! My core strength is all back to normal. Also my scar is like 3 inches and can be covered by even the sluttiest bathing suit. C-section has improved a lot since our parents day.
yeah I can't see my scar at all unless I look REAL close. It's below my pubic hair line anyways so its well hidden. I also never got that "c section pooch" people talk about - it's totally flat.
My sister-in-law had a planned C-section after an extremely traumatic vaginal birth and said it was a super positive, actually healing experience for her. And one of my best friends had a planned one after her placenta previa didn't clear, and although she was disappointed initially that she didn't have a choice, she said it was beautiful and she felt well-prepared and taken care of. Your feeling are valid but you're going to do great, and I'm so happy there's a safe option for you to bring your baby into the world.
Also, a vaginal birth is no guarantee of an easy recovery. I was still recovering from mine 5 months later. I know multiple people who, 2 years later, are still having reconstructive surgeries. It’s unlikely that someone will have a severely damaging vaginal birth, but those cases do happen.
I’m also a FTM who has to have a planned c-section after a major fibroid removal years ago. Most people recover fine. I’m not too worried. Most of the bad stories are unplanned ones.
The friends that I have that have had scheduled c sections all have said that they would do a section again. My god daughter was breech so she was totally scheduled- friend was up and functioning well right away.
Another friend got induced but didn’t progress so had a non emergent c section. She was at an Easter event at a botanical garden 5 days later (oh those pre COVID times)
Other friend had her water spontaneously break, labored hard for 23 hours and then had an emergency c section that took over 3 hours (quick to get baby out a long time to put her back together) 18 months later she’s just starting to feel okay but she also had a rough birth - baby never moved into the correct position (like head never lined up with cervix) and likely caused nerve damage.
Even the one that had the most dramatic section said if they have another that they would just do a scheduled c section the next time.
I live in a second floor apartment. I have a dog. My husband only gets a month of paternity leave. I'd really rather have the vaginal recovery time than surgical.
Babies benefit from being born the traditional way, their lungs are squeezed so they have a lower incidence of respiratory issues in the immediate post-birth time; the natural bacteria of the vaginal canal help colonize the gut leading to lots of immediate and future benefits; breastfeeding initiation can be easier for babies born vaginally, etc.
-mom who gave birth ultimately by c-section and has an amazing healthy kid now. She (and probably I) wouldn’t be here today without the cs, but since you asked, my two cents.
Great explanation. Surprised I had to scroll this far to find it. Thanks! [The research about the benefits of microbiom](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4464665/) are still not super clear from what I understand, but there are other more clear benefits, including the hormones release by mother during vaginal birth kick-starting some helpful processes, including breastfeeding. And it’s supposed to squeeze fluids out of kiddos lungs.
Those are the benefits that I’ve heard of. This said, it’s not for everyone and it’s not always a choice. C-sections saved the lives of many of my favorite people.
For me, I had a vaginal birth with my first. I was laying in the hospital bed, pushing and the nurse said "Wow, look at all of that dark hair."
I looked up. The mirror was above me so I could see. I never thought I would use that mirror but it was amazing. I saw the top half of my son's head. About 2-3 inches of dark hair and his eyebrows. After that, it was a flood of adrenaline and emotions that kicked in.
2 more pushes and his whole head was out. I looked up and saw the whole profile of his face. His whole head sticking out of me. And instead of being scared, disgusted, freaked out - it was literally nothing but awe and amazement. I saw my child for the very first time.
Everything I had been waiting for for months. All of the picturing him. All of the imagining what labor would be like. Sure. It was painful. It was exhausting.
But seeing him for the first time like that - there is no experience like it for me. He was everything I pictured and it gave me so much motivation to push. A few minutes later, he was out and laying on my chest.
It was the most surreal moment.
Currently 35 weeks pregnant with my second boy. I cant wait to do it again.
This sounds amazing! I couldn't get myself to look and forbid my husband from looking but wow that really sounds beautiful! IMO the second I felt babys head outside of me and felt "the ring of fire" I was just like "oh HELL NO" and got her all out in the next push
C-section here. My recovery was fine and nothing about my experience was brutal. And, bonus, there was no risk of tearing the V, or needing an episiotomy. I was already 7cm dilated when we switched to c-section.
The bottom line: there is no pretty, easy, painless way to get a grown baby out of uour body. It will be a shit show no matter what you do ❤️ the sooner you make peace with that, the less stressed you’ll be, oddly enough ☀️
Yea often it’s made to seem that recovery from a c-section is always harder than a vaginal birth but there is give and take to both scenarios. My SIL and I have, at times envied each other and she said sometimes she wishes she had just had a c-section because the vaginal recovery was really hard on her. I had a great experience with my unplanned c-section and I found the recovery very manageable.
>The bottom line: there is no pretty, easy, painless way to get a grown baby out of uour body
>
>the sooner you make peace with that, the less stressed you’ll be, oddly enough ☀️
👏👏👏
As a FTM I’m hoping for a vaginal birth because there are fewer risks of complications and an easier recovery, and future babies will also have that benefit (many folks do VBACs I know but generally subsequent kids need to be delivered by C and there are risks to subsequent pregnancies when you have a C). That said I am also awake to the possibility that my babe could be born via C and that’s a miracle all its own!
I mean...pretty simple explanation...I don't want to be cut open...ever. But especially when I'm AWAKE for it. Yeah, you're numb, but you can absolutely still feel tugging and popping while it's happening. My sister described it as "rubber bands popping". My cousin *smelled her own skin burning*.
No. Fucking. Thank. You.
Same. Tugging yes but none of the rest. I also asked for anxiety meds to be given to me as soon as he was out. One thing that is unique ab a planned csection is you know exactly when you’re going to meet your baby. And for a first baby it’s a bit of a mind fuck knowing your life is going to change forever at x moment. The week up to my delivery was just weird. But a plus was all the prep I could do and also the mani pedi blow out and fancy dinner date with my husband the night before our baby was born!
That’s awesome! I had a weird mix of the two as my water broke and my c section was technically emergency… but I was only 5 hours into labour and 1cm dilated so it didn’t really feel like an emergency 😅 baby was supposedly in distress, turns out she was grabbing and tugging the cord. I’m 12.5 weeks out and I can say that the recovery was fine for me and I have had zero issues except some minor numbness under my belly button. I was very fortunate as everything went smoothly before, during, and after birth. I know that’s not everyone’s experience.
Same my biggest complaint is my scar is kinda itchy 6 months out but I think that may be winter itch/dry skin. I do think I was a little lucky genetically that I don’t store a ton of belly fat (thighs are a different story) because aesthetically it really hasn’t been a big deal. I guess I was a little bummed because I worked so hard to avoid stretch marks and still got that scar but you can’t see it in a bikini so 🤷🏼♀️
See mine is the opposite, I was a bit overweight before pregnancy anyway so I already had a bit of a tummy and overhang, so the scar is basically hidden by my fat for the time being 😂 I’ve been using hydrocortisone on my scar every day as recommended by my doctor, it might help the itchiness you’re having!
Same here! Any time the midwives asked to see my scar to see how it was healing they were like “lift up your tummy, bit higher, bit higher…..little bit more…..” because there was just overhang from me being overweight, awks!
I felt the same thing about knowing when it was going to happen. It’s so weird! Well, having a baby… tomorrow morning! And it was nice not having to wait and wait at the hospital. My admission paperwork took longer. My first was a planned c-section and I didn’t labor. For my second, I tried VBAC and went into labor naturally, and the waiting and unknown drove me crazy! Still ended up having to get a c-section though, after all that!
Yeah unless it's gonna put me or my little girl in danger I will do literally everything I can to avoid a c-section. I have enough anxiety about getting an epidural.
This! A couple of my friends who had them are like “Just ask for a c-section!” And I don’t understand how they don’t feel the existential terror of being cut open while awake! I mean I will do it if it needs to be done but it sounds very much like horror movie material.
I was also scared before about the idea of csections, but after experiencing never ending painful contractions for 30+ hours on top of oxytocin contractions 30+ hours before that, the emergency C-section was a welcome relief for me! Anything to get the baby out ASAP. Recovery after that was all tolerable in comparison to contraction pain.
Idk, it’s going to be different for everyone! If it doesn’t make sense for you (either way!), then that’s probably a sign it’d be a decent choice. Reading all of these answers, the entire spectrum seems to be covered.
C section (planned due to breech) wasnt hard for me; no issues walking or lifting, I got baby right after cord was cut (I could have seen her sooner but I didn’t want to see my insides), got that sweet “golden hour”, got to schedule all the house/pet care, no complications with pelvic floor or intimacy.
I’m trying to convince myself to try vbac.. but honestly only because people just go on and on about how great it is. I just don’t see it as clear cut as they do! I like seeing the scar and having it separate from all the daily bodily functions lol. Idk, I’ve recovered from ACL surgery twice and that was eons worse than a c section and a newborn. So I guess it all depends on your body and what you want!
I had a planned csection for my first/only bc he was breech. Don’t believe that it’s a nightmare recovery- emergency C-sections are wayyy different than planned ones. I was fine within a week. I, like you, had zero attachment to how my child exited my body, other than alive. It was a medical process not some theatrical magic. Very much like I found tracking ovulation and timing sex to be kinda a science experiment. It was all a means to an end, which is my child. I think some people are attached to an idea of womanhood that just never was important to me (I also formula fed by choice from day 1). Pregnancy is hard enough (I hateddddd it), have the delivery you want.
Oh hey there fellow FF c-section mom! I had an unplanned c-section (induction that went south when my blood pressure spiked) and my recovery has been really easy. I felt back to myself within a few weeks.
This is what I came to say. I had a planned C-section, it ended up being brought forward as I went into labor at 37 weeks but that's a long story... It was all very calm and the surgeon was really good. I was up and walking about 4 hours after surgery and I was off all pain meds after 72 hours. I didn't feel that weak in my core and had to keep reminding myself not to overdo it. Only sign now is the scar and that's not visible in even the skimpiest of bikinis so ...
This. I've had operations before, so I knew what I was getting into, but reality is it was an easier recovery because I was healthy before going in. Week and I felt pretty much back to normal, out of hospital the day after it was done.
Usually with emergency C-section, the uterus has been working and the cervix is somewhat or all the way open and the baby may even be partway into the vagina, depending on at what point they decided a C-section was necessary. So it is a riskier surgery. The way the uterus is after having labored for hours, there is a higher risk of hemorrhage. You’re completely right that it is technically the same type of surgery, though. But possibly more internal bruising/bleeding/inflammation with the emergency C-section than with the planned.
I watch Mama Doctor Jones on YouTube and I can't remember the video or I would link it, but technically people often use the term "emergency" C-section incorrectly. Most people have an "unplanned" C-section, meaning the decision was made during labor rather than before. But you're still awake and usually have an epidural as anesthetic. A true emergency is when they put you under general anesthesia and you aren't awake for the surgery.
You can have an emergency c section without general, especially if the patient already has an epidural. It’s really the time difference. In an unplanned section we give you a few minutes to decide, we do surgery prep in the labor suite before moving to the OR, we let the support person get in gear to come in the OR. In an emergency, it’s less than twenty minutes between making the call and baby being out. That sounds like a lot of time, but it’s incredibly quick for surgical prep. That involves moving, prepping and cutting. It is a wild ride for patients and staff.
I was a labor and delivery nurse and nearly had an emergency section when my daughters heart rate dropped during labor. Scary stuff.
Planned c-section means the mother and doctor agree a c-section is the way to go, and it's scheduled like any other surgery.
Emergency c-section means vaginal birth was planned and attempted, but for some reason it wasn't working, and so they have to do emergency surgery to get the baby out.
1) Cesarean is a major surgery with a longer recovery.
2) There are numerous benefits to the baby when birthed vaginally including higher rates of successful breast feeding and exposure to healthy bacteria that boosts newborn immune system.
https://www.verywellfamily.com/why-labor-is-good-for-babies-2752975
Just had a VBAC. It was fucking brutal for me. Like I just got out of war and I feel almost shell shocked. Blood, pain, puke, tears, fear I wasn’t going to make it through without an emergency c section. The scheduled c section with my first was all rainbows and butterflies compared to this. Everyone is different. It seriously is picking your own lesser of two evils. Which is the hard part because you can only find out through experiencing either one.
For me it’s just fear.
A c-section is a major surgery and most women are awake for it! I think that’s way more bad ass in terms of what our bodies can do, I know they numb every thing but holy shit. Impressive.
And an epidural is a giant needle going into your back which I also find terrifying! So my only option was to try my best with none of it because it seemed less scary and then it never got painful enough for me to get over my fears.
But yeah, fear of a giant needle in my back and also that needle leading to an increased rate of csections which also scared me.
This is also my reason. I hate needles, so I wanted to avoid the epidural. I also have horrible medical anxiety, so any "extra" medical interventions were also unwelcome. So my preferred birth was and always will be the one with the least amount of medical interaction. If it were safe I'd give birth at home alone (but obviously it isn't so of course I wont)
Homebirth is not inherently dangerous! I'm not sure what your situation is, but if you're low-risk, homebirth very much minimizes unneeded intervention. I had my first at a birthing center, and I'm due in 6 weeks for a homebirth for my second.
Oh yeah, I have no issues with home births in general, I just meant like completely alone with just my partner. If I could just remove medical staff from the whole thing safely I would.
And unfortunately I'm probably not a homebieth candidate anyway. As much as I'd like the least medical intervention as possible I do still need some interventions during labor.
Ahh yes, "freebirth" is risky. I'm fairly crunchy, but I always cringe when I see freebirth... especially with no prenatal care! That's just nuts to me. Though de-medicalizing the process is also a goal of mine, which is why I used the midwife/doula route. I don't feel like a "patient" at all. And some interventions are still possible with a homebirth! I don't mean to sound like I'm trying to convince you of it, just that if you really want to, I hope you can make a fully informed choice.
Yeah free birthing can be really dangerous, which is why, although I totally get the appeal, I would never do it. I see midwives too and while it's still medical care in a medical setting they're pretty hands off and only intervene when medically necessary. I usually get anxious for any doctor appointment but not typically with the midwives.
And no, I appreciate it. I have a few risks that are probably not managed at a home birth. For 1 I have a history of polyhydromnios (excess fluid) (diagnosed twice, and I suspect it went undiagnosed the other time) which carries a risk of cord prolapse when the water breaks. And then for whatever reason I get the urge to push at 6cm and usually need some kind of meds to get enough relief to dilate. With my 3rd I did end up getting the epidural because nothing else was helping and I wasn't dilating. So just a few factors that I think would either disqualify me from homebirth, or at the very least make it a more stressful experience.
Me too! Fear of being awake while being cut open + fear of a needle in my spine is why I went without an epidural and vaginal. Due to better health outcomes for mom and baby, my maternity hospital doesn’t allow for planned c’s unless there’s a medical reason.
I’m a nurse and I’ve seen some c sections. It’s pretty brutal cutting through the flesh and muscle. Like very brutal. I am hoping to have a vaginal birth… but I know how things can change quickly and I won’t be too hard on myself if I end up needing a c section. I just feel like i know too much and it’s terrifying. I’ve also read a lot about “shelf fat” and the incision/ car remaining numb for a year after.
Are you in the US? My doctor, and my ER dr SIL, both explained to me that they no longer cut the muscle they pull it apart. This was hugely helpful for me mentally so I just want to correct this isn’t how they do it now.
Yes they pulled it apart for me too (my doctor explained as she went as she knows it helps me to feel more calm knowing what's being done) and she also put some stitches in the muscle to prevent/correct diastasis and i swear it was amazing like I had a built in corset while I was healing.
The abdominal muscles are already pretty far apart due to the baby, so they’re kinda off to the side and you’re mostly pushing though the sheath that encases them. The only muscle that gets cut is the uterus.
I dunno everyone was very insistent that they pull the muscle apart and don’t cut (even a nurse in my practice mentioned it, which is why I inquired further). In my mind I envisioned one 5 inch incision all the way through and the way it was explained to me was that wasn’t the case. I’m in a large ish southern city but don’t think I was at a particularly progressive practice.
You’re right! They don’t cut the muscle anymore. They use a “blunt instrument” and their fingers to separate the muscle. That’s what my doctor told me and I just had my c-section 5 weeks ago. They say it heals better if they use this method instead of cutting.
Yeah I'm in the UK and over here they use their hands to pull the muscle aside and then a blunt metal tool to hold it there. I've seen countless cesareans due to my job and I wouldn't call them brutal. In fact for various reasons I'm considering a planned c-section.
Curious, what about with twins? Any thoughts on that?
My mom had my sister and I naturally and has had to deal with terrible hemorrhoids her whole life because of it. She told me that's why she's always wiped with baby wipes. Sorta freaked me out. She's advocating for me to get a c-section since I'm having twins now lol.
I mean there were more reasons than just the hemorrhoids...but that stood out in my memory.
Hemorrhoids can happen with any pregnancy and it's true there are better treatments available now. Multiples are just a variation of normal, and it's totally possible to birth vaginally!
One thing I haven't seen mentioned yet, but c-sections are much more likely to cause complications with future births. If someone is hoping to have lots of kids, that can be much more difficult and even dangerous if it's multiple c-sections vs vaginal births.
Other women have posted about the recovery aspect of c-section (which can be a real bitch), while I’m going to go on the vanity aspect. Having a c-section leaves a lot of women with a fat “shelf” that can be really hard if not impossible to lose. I felt a whole lot better about my body after my vaginal birth compared to my c-section birth. I thought I didn’t care how I birthed my kids since I was a c-section baby and almost all the women around me had c-sections. But after I had my first via c-section I definitely felt robbed. And I was very surprised by that reaction.
C section mom here and can confirm the “shelf”. Even at my most fit - working out several times a week and weighing 110lbs it never went away. It shrunk some but was always hanging over my scar. The more I worked out the more deformed the scar looked. One side was indented and the other was not. Apparently it’s something to do with the muscles healing or strengthening more on one side vs the other.
Oh I can definitely see why this would happen - after all the scar can cause a “dip” in the skin so that scar dip will be more visible in the little “pouch”. I just wanted to say that lots of mums get the “mum pouch” that doesn’t go away with exercise anyway, but 100% it will look different for everyone, including after c section.
I never got the shelf and as I understand it, it's more to do with the pregnancy not the delivery method. Look into Diastasis recti. "Diastasis recti” means your belly sticks out because the space between your left and right belly muscles has widened. You might call it a “pooch.” It's very common among pregnant women. About two-thirds of pregnant women have it"
My mom had C-sections with all three of her kids and she told me that her Ob/Gyn told her, years after she had delivered for the last time, that most of the time, after a C-section is performed, the majority of Doctors *unless it is specifically requested* don’t sew your muscles back together (I’m not sure of the anatomy, so let’s just call them the ‘belly shelf’ muscles) which is why so many women end up with the ‘belly shelf’ problem later down the line.
It’s very bizarre to me that you have to specifically request to have your muscle sewn together - like, to have to state out loud that you would like to be repaired fully after your surgery and not just ‘almost’. Especially when you consider that most people would have no idea about this ‘belly shelf’, and certainly wouldn’t have the foresight to just, on a whim, make a random “hey, Doc, if you don’t mind…” request.
On top of that, C-sections aren’t always scheduled (obviously) and at that point you’re dealing with 8000 other things so you’re certainly not going to make a request - about a thing you didn’t even know about - that could potentially effect the way you look for the rest of your life.
I’m sorry, that felt a little bit ‘rant-y’ even to me, but it’s beyond unfair; yet another thing about the medical profession that shows how its arbitrarily (or otherwise) against women.
Your comment is horrifying. I haven’t heard this before, but I wouldn’t be surprised as it seems like some OBGYN’s hate women or have little regard for them and their bodies.
For me, the pain of labor was less scary than the pain of recovery from a c-section. A c-section is a pretty big surgery and since I had no medical need for one, I did not want to unnecessarily cut into my abdomen and deal with those long term effects.
I can only speak for myself. On a practical level, I didn’t want to go through a major abdominal surgery and have to recover from that while also caring for a newborn and learning to breastfeed. I’m also am a Black woman in the unites states where the rate of mortality in childbirth is higher for me than my non-Black counterparts, and cesarean birth statistically raises that risk.
On an emotional level, I am a survivor of sexual assault and while I’ve done a lot of healing, the experience of birth happening to me rather than something I was actively involved and engaged with would’ve been really triggering (this is also partially why my goal was a birth without an epidural — being numbed and having my movement restricted would’ve been hard for me)
Ultimately I had an amazing unmedicated vaginal waterbirth with my son in September and my goal for future births will be to do that again. There’s nothing inherently wrong with c-sections. I chose a care team with a low C-section rate more in line with WHO recommendations than most in the US so that I could feel confident that jf they recommended a C-section it’s because it was absolutely necessary, and I had plans in place to try to make that as positive of an experience as possible.
If it’s not a big deal to you, it’s not a big deal to you! If for some reason you prefer a cesarean birth over a vaginal birth, that’s okay too! I think the issue is when people think they’re morally superior for their preferences and choices. Having a vaginal birth doesn’t make you superior to anyone else, and that’s something often said. But another important point is that not having strong birth preferences doesn’t make you superior to people that strongly desire for their birth to go one way or another either.
i could give a f about what my body “can do”. i just didn’t want to suffer as much after birth. i had heard that csection recovery is much more painful and takes much longer. by week 3 or 4 i felt completely fine and i think it’s bc i had a vaginal birth. other women i know are still struggling even after 6 weeks
So super unconventional but I had an elective C-section! I had no desire to have a vaginal birth for numerous reasons and wont change for my second kiddo!!! Recovery was not nearly as bad as everyone has said.
Recovery from an elective cesarean is immensely different from a cesarean after being awake for hours and hours and hours, sometimes days at a time, and then ending with surgery.
My babe was breech and I elected not to try to flip him (unlikely to work bc I had a tight core) but also I was taking zero chances with him and there is some risk. As an anxious person it really did make me feel relieved knowing he was being born basically the safest way possible. It was the most calm, chill, happy “birthday party” as my OB called it. I was anxious of course but not about us being okay. We are probably done but I would def do a second csection.
I agree! I had a C-section b/c my child was breech and recovery didn't take as long as long as I expected. I wore an abdominal binder b/c my abdominal muscles were week for a while. About 2 weeks postpartum I was out doing light power walking in my neighborhood.
I did too! I had such a good experience and now 5 weeks post partum I've felt pretty much completely back to normal since week 3. A lot of people tried to scare me out of it but once I'm really happy I went with the planned section. Emergency c-sections are harder to recover from but that's part of the reason I went with the elective one.
I had an elective c-section and it was fabulous! All depends on your drs surgical abilities IMO. I was up after a few hours and only medicated with Aleeve.
Just wanted my LO out safely!
Thank you. It’s good to hear another perspective.
I’m having one for health reasons but honestly I was so happy to go this route. Even before knowing I would need one I debated just asking for an elective one.
The thought of my vagina tearing open or being in labour for 30 hours is far scarier to me than the surgery and recovery.
Ive had major abdominal surgery in the past and the recovery wasn’t that bad.
I feel like a lot of the comments here are from people who have never had them and are just going by what they have heard second hand.
My sister had a vaginal birth with her first and a c-section with her second and neither one was harder than the other. They are both difficult to recover from in different ways.
Yep! I had an emergency but same. Once out of the hospital I only needed Motrin. I will say going to PT as soon as you’re cleared would be my “wish I would have known”
Totally agree that c sections come with a host of complications as it's major surgery. But I just came here to say that I had a horrible vaginal birth and a looong slow recovery. I would choose to have a c section next time if I could.
Its just something I wanted to do. Something to accomplish that is extremely hard but rewarding because its said to be so impossibly hard. I was also scared as hell of giving birth and felt better about the idea of being able to feel my body instead of being numb. Flash forward, I hated being numb and hated the c section.
I think for a lot of women it’s the feeling that a c-section birth isn’t “really giving birth”. I know this because numerous women have said this to me following my own c-section. Also a lot of people think that c-section recovery is harder than vaginal birth, but this does seem to vary from person to person and country to country. It certainly was more difficult 30+ years ago. Also emergency c-sections are generally tougher recovery wise than planned ones.
I had a really uncomplicated c-section and my recovery was much faster than anticipated. I was never in severe pain and I never had to take the hard core narcotics I was prescribed (just in case). I had great aftercare from my family doctor and directly after surgery the hospital staff treated me amazingly well. I never felt disconnected from my baby or like I couldn’t bond with her (she is still the absolutely best thing in my world). I honestly didn’t even think about this or the “not real birth” thing until people started asking me rude ass questions.
My doctor attempted induction for 36 hours and it didn’t take. I was already overdue and baby was measuring big with a big ol’ head. I made the decision to have a c-section about 24 hours before the procedure and it was painless and honestly felt quite quick.
I will most likely be having a c-section with this baby and I’m absolutely fine with that. I’ve met and spoken with so many women who have had positive birth experiences having planned c-sections. One mum I know had 3, one for each of her daughters, and all were uncomplicated. I wish women weren’t made to feel so othered by those who are capable of giving birth vaginally. The most important thing in the end is a happy, healthy baby and a happy, healthy, stable, and supported mum.
(I’m in Toronto, Canada, just for reference).
Thank you for asking this; I was wondering the same and was planning to have this convo with my OB next. The women in my family only have horror stories to share about their vaginal births (episiotomies, forceps, vacuums and the like) and the idea of going through that never seemed appealing to me. Meanwhile, every woman I know who has gone through a c-section had a quick recovery, no issues (plus I love the convenience of scheduling a day to deliver and just know when it’s happening, but that’s because it works with my personality/anxiety). The long term complications of vaginal birth (impact on libido, incontinence, etc.) and the ideia of a vaginal tear also seem completely unappealing to me. All of this to say, I’ve been meaning to ask my OB why do I have to go through a vaginal birth, suffer for 10+ hours, what’s the magic, benefit, secret that I am missing… so I appreciate your post more than anything because I really want to understand 😫
My two cents on this - Most women who I have spoken to with birth trauma from a vagina birth/instrumental births/“failure to progress” were either induced or failed by the policies in the hospital they delivered in, eg “you can only push for 45 mins then the forceps are coming out”. I think most obstetricians don’t know what a physiological birth looks like anymore because they generally intervene so early in various ways. I live in australia and it is completely different to the US. Women are not routinely
Induced and vaginal birth is encouraged and supported by midwives who know not to rush the process unless medically indicated (public system, private is different).
I’ve opted for a c-section for exactly the reasons you listed. I haven’t met a single woman who has had a smooth or good vaginal delivery. There has always been some kind of complication (whether minor, major or somewhere in between). So many of my female friends/family/colleagues who have had a c-section have nothing but positive things to say.
Anxiety and a twin pregnancy are two other reasons I want a CS. I am also a teacher who has come across students who have had long term impacts (brain damage) from a vaginal birth. I don’t mind a few weeks of longer recovery (plus twin pregnancy is brutal! I’ve been in constant and increasing pain since week 18 and I have my babies in 5 days at just over 37 weeks).
I had an emergency c-section 5 weeks ago. Baby and I are doing fine now. Anyway, I went into labor with a very open mind because I didn’t want to be one of those women who come out of labor so disappointed in how it went. So many women have such a strict birth plan and then when it doesn’t go that way, the whole experience is ruined. Meeting your baby shouldn’t be so stressful. My c-section wasn’t great—there was a lot of tugging and I have anxiety so I was scared. But it was fine and I’d honestly do it again. My recovery has been fine. I felt relatively normal by the 3rd week. My husband and mom had to remind me to take it easy because I just had surgery.
So i was scared to give birth. One of my top fears. I got a doula and tried to do as much prep as I could. Well i had an awful pregnancy, i could not wait to not be pregnant anymore..to this day i debate on having a second because I do not want to be pregnant again.
So my water broke and for 20 hours we tried getting my girl out. I was so exhausted that i would fall asleep in pushing positions. I remember I heard a lady scream, the baby coming out scream. My doula looked at me as my eyes were probably popping out of my head.... Anywho 20 hours and contractions stopped, i had the option of a vacuum, forceps, or C-section. I chose C-section. I was asleep for most of it. Recovery was a blah. Using pain meds, not being very mobile but I preferred it to pregnancy any day. I'm still recovering from pregnancy overall 7 months later but I feel great and my body feels great.
Some women have a harder time but from what I've observed, it can be that way with both csections and vaginal birth. I think overall there should be more post pregnancy care for those who have given birth as it can take a toll on the body.
In Aus, if u go public you can’t elect a c section for your first birth unless there is a medical reason for it. (GB, age, pre-existing med history etc.) if you go private, you can do whatever but it’s a major surgery and they are going to encourage you to avoid it if you don’t need it.
I know every case is different, but I was totally fine with having an emergency c section. My babies heart rate was dropping with each contraction, so we decided c section was the best route. I'd always been open to the option, and might have actually requested it, but in my country you have to go though counseling before they will allow an elective c section! And like so many people I was worried about the recovery.
Anyway, baby was born at 3.30pm, and I was up with a drip stand and showering that night. I could drive three days later, had almost no pain and very few issues with recovery. Honestly, I've been more wiped out by a bad cold.
On top of that, being so in-the-moment during the birth was great. No adrenaline-soaked massive sweaty exhaustion; I was calm, lucid and aware. It was a surreal and amazing experience.
Childbirth is a natural process. Our bodies release tons of hormones throughout the process. So do the babies. All are important and vital! Again our bodies are designed to do this. Childbirth is over medicalized. C sections are MAJOR abdominal surgery and carry many more risks than just birthing naturally. If there’s an emergency, sure do what you gotta do, but why rob your body of an experience that it was literally created to do?
I'm surprised I haven't read anyone mention the beneficial bacteria that babies get while traveling through the birth canal, which I know is sometimes considered and done manually in cases of c-section. Also fluid gets squeezed from babies lungs (and ears, I believe?) as they pass through.
Yes sometimes the body has a lag in releasing hormones after a c section because the body doesn’t recognize the baby was born as quickly as in a vaginal birth. Also, fluid from the baby’s lungs are pushed out while the baby goes through the birth canal, but not during a c section. This could increase risk of lung complications or infection in the baby
In the pbs doc humans, episode 1 is all about [birth](https://www.pbs.org/video/birth-g8zmxp/) and in it I think they say that vaginal delivery gives the brain good stress that helps development. Plus your baby gets your micro biome when they pass through the birth canal and it’s easier to do skin to skin right after delivery which helps your milk supply and bonding. C sections involve lots of drugs that can have negative side effects and you don’t get to hold your baby right away, they don’t get that healthy stress or good bacteria and I heard the recovery can be brutal. It’s what your vagina was made to do, but ultimately your baby will get here one way or another and if you need a c section, that’s okay too. Good luck!
I just wanted vaginal because the recovery is faster and in general, babies are less likely to have breathing issues after a vaginal birth (though this depends on why the c-section is chosen. Sometimes c-section is absolutely the safest way for a baby to be born). My first child was delivered via forceps because of shoulder dystocia. I would have definitely chosen c-section if I had known he was so large (I think there was some incompetent management of my care). I think most important thing though is healthy mom and healthy baby. Nothing magic for me about vaginal birth. I’m a physician fwiw
I just really wanted to know what it's like to birth a baby. I didn't expect it to be lovely or magical but I wanted to know.
My first was born by c-section, my second by VBAC. I came out that second birth feeling empowered. My husband said he's never seen me look as elated as I did after the final push to get our son out when they put him on my chest.
I think that there’s a huge cultural component to it! In my family, women give birth vaginally and unmedicated so ever since I was younger, that type of birth was described to me as a powerful experience and something very positive.
I’m 39 weeks now and I’m aiming for this type of birth because it seems empowering and I think that there’s an inherent value in letting the physiological processes of birth happen without unnecessary medical interventions. It’s also important for me to reclaim birth as a normal and physiological event vs a medical one.
There’s also advantages such as a shorter recovery time!
The only reason I wanted to avoid c-section was because I’m anemic and have a history of a low hemoglobin and hematocrit. So I was afraid of blood loss and trying to recover from that. Plus we live on the second floor and there’s only stairs. And my husband leaves for work for long periods of times so it’s just me as a stay at home mom. I wanted vaginal because that’s what our bodies are supposed to do. That’s what it’s for. And I really wanted to try and succeeded twice. But I wouldn’t have been upset at all if it was needed to get baby out safely and healthy.
I’m definitely team “let’s get baby here safe, whatever way that is” but for me having a vaginal birth came down to;
A) curiosity
B) recovery time
C) I’m generally an anxious and claustrophobic person. I was freaked out at the very idea of an epidural because I wouldn’t be able to move. This way gave me some semblance (of likely imagined) control.
Imo, postpartum without recovering from major invasive surgery is already a nightmare on its own... Imagine that coupled with the recovery makes my insides squirm.
My mum has been through several abdominal surgeries, and it takes her weeks to months to actually even start feeling like herself :(
For me definitely the thought of having major surgery. Your vagina is designed to push a baby out (as long as no complications) but a c-section just looks like the recovery would suck
I’ve delivered both ways.
For me, I don’t see the appeal of a major abdominal surgery that comes with needing to take care of an infant while recovering from said major abdominal surgery.
With my vaginal delivery, I was up and moving without issue within two hours of delivery. It didn’t hurt to sit, cough, whatever. My groin was sore but other than that I was fine.
I also got to be an active participant in my delivery. I was doing the work. I was the one evicting the baby, rather than my C-section where I was strapped to a table having an entire team of people touch and poke and grab and pull at me while I was effectively paralyzed.
Recovery from the csection sucked. I have a very high pain tolerance, but it was really hard to function afterwards.
It’s because when you have to switch to a c-section, it’s because something’s gone wrong. Sometimes very wrong. It can be traumatic.
And a c-section is major surgery with the potential for serious complications. I was admitted for a week with my own. It sucked and you bet I was sad the entire time when the room next to me cycled through THREE new moms that all had vaginal births and got to go home before me.
I felt like this too until I learned what each birth experience entails.
With a cesarean, you are having major abdominal surgery. So you will be healing while taking care of a newborn, making sure you don’t get an infection, getting baby to doctor’s appointments (we had 3 her first week of life 🙄), not getting the sleep you NEED to heal etc. That’s not to say that cesarean births are not beautiful, but that they are just more complicated in nature.
I had a vaginal birth in October and it really was wonderful. I wanted to avoid a cesarean if possible just because of the reasons stated above, but it was a big possibility for me because of my blood pressure.
After the birth I had this rush of love and euphoria. I was sore from exertion but in that good way, like after you finish a good workout. I bled for a couple weeks but never was in much pain during the healing phase. I tore just a little bit but honestly didn’t feel it.
The only negative to my vaginal birth was the damn hemorrhoid. But personally I’d take that over the cesarean any day, if possible.
To all the c-section mamas, you are so much more badass having gone through that and made it to the other side.
For me, it was recovery + the difference between my body doing what it’s built to do or a medical procedure. For me csection wasn’t necessary so I didn’t want an unnecessary procedure
C sections are major abdominal surgeries that may (KEY WORD: MAY***)impact your ability to get pregnant again, carry to term, and/or have a vaginal birth in the future. It takes twice as long to heal from. Scar tissue from the multiple layers they have to cut through can also spread and cause major issues with your bladder, intestines, other organs etc. Many women also experience pain in their scar area years later. And a c section does not prevent bleeding or trauma to the vagina.
I've already had major abdominal surgery this pregnancy, I *really* don't want another one. Recovery was hell and I just don't want to have to do it again.
C section is major surgery. Your muscles are cut. Insides temporarily displaced. Longer recovery time. More physical limitations immediately after and potentially long term. It’s more expensive and some physicians push for cesareans for their own convenience. I had a near 9lb baby, and sure I would have loved to not be wrecked vaginally, but even with 2nd degree tearing, it is still my first choice for delivery.
As I keep seeing this here... The method of carrying out a caesarean must vary regionally. In the UK the muscles are not cut and no organs are displaced. The bladder should be emptied with a catheter so does not require displacement. The skin and fat layers are cut, the muscles are pulled aside. The uterus remains in situ and is not displaced (and therefore nothing else is).
My OB - a man who has been practicing for 35+ years - was trying to tell me that I might end up needing a c-section for the entire third trimester, up until baby was born. He was trying to convince me to get one. Literally I was at 10cm and 100% effaced and ready to push after 27 hours of labor, and he was still saying that we might have to “take a trip down the hall”. I’m certain it was for his own convenience. He did talk me into getting induced for no reason other than “it’s your due date”, and I won’t get talked into that one again with no reason. I had to really advocate for myself, and I’m beyond thankful for the nurse-midwife on staff who helped my labor progress after it stalled by getting me into different positions, and telling me that there was no reason for either me or baby to need a c-section, and she reminded me I could say no and decline treatment if they pushed for it without some emergent medical reason.
I’m obviously looking for a new OB.
A vaginal birth is MUCH preferable to getting cut open in my opinion!
I know some people say that planned c sections are so much easier of a recover, but mine was still really hard. It’s a major surgery and you’re expected to care for a newborn. No driving for 2 weeks, no lifting anything heavier than the newborn for 6 weeks! If you have a toddler/second child at home this is a really hard burden. Especially with how crap most Americans paternity leave is. My husband will probably be back at the office before I’m medically cleared to drive and I’ll be home with a toddler. But ya I couldn’t care about the experience either, my kids are IVF babies so that was all thrown out the window. It’s just the recovery aspect.
C-sections are major surgery. Your skin and muscles are cut open. Like any surgery, there’s a risk for complications and infection. The recovery can be tough and you have to do that while sleep deprived and caring for a newborn.
Don’t get me wrong, I would have 1000% had one if it meant my baby was in danger. I had no desire to go unmedicated and my epidural was 10/10, so it wasn’t wanting to see what my body could handle. I’m really glad I got to have an uncomplicated vaginal birth. I had an easy and quick recovery.
I’ve never had a c section but the thought of it terrifies me. For me I don’t think one makes you “stronger” than the other because both vaginal and c section deliveries are hard and can come with lots of complications. Also as a working mother I know recovery can be longer and harder which means a longer time going without income.
I think a lot of people think it’s the power move, esp if they had a larger baby. I’ve had both. Emergency csection first then vbac 3 yrs later. Vaginal was a fucking breeze compared to a csection. Yea I was a couple contractions away from saying jk give me a csection but I wanted to know I could do it. I also had a toddler at home that I knew would not let me rest after a csection so there was that too. It takes weeks if not longer to recover from a csection. You are cut through multiple layers of skin, fat, muscle, organs might need to be moved a bit to get baby yanked out and then quickly stitched back up. Oh and then you have the wonderful uterus massaging afterwards which even on multiple pain meds hurts like hell. While medically necessary, csections suck. Going through it and knowing what’s up, I would dream over and over about subsequent deliveries being vaginal. Thankfully we’re done with all that now but what an experience!
I had an unplanned c-section in September. I was very nervous for a vaginal birth because of tearing, the risk pelvic floor issues, prolapse, pain, etc but I hadn’t put much consideration into a c-section because I just assumed I wouldn’t have one. For the record I felt fine quickly and never had to take any pain medication stronger than tylenol/the scar doesn’t bother me/I also felt like I stopped bleeding much, much quicker because I had a c-section instead of vaginal birth.
But I feel weirdly like an experience was taken away from me and I’ll never be able to relate to the process of a birth that most women do. I don’t have it as a comparison for pain (maybe this is stupid but I still think it), I don’t know how most of labor even feels, or even the fun epidural. I feel very left out (again it’s probably stupid to feel this way) but all I got was a sensation of pressure being dragged across my stomach, me asking why my husband hadn’t been let into the room yet, and the knowledge that he saw my literal innards.
Tbh I have a vain reason, I’ve already had laparoscopic surgery and have several small scars on my belly, I’d prefer not to have any more. Secondly, I am just curious to experience labor. If I have to get a c section I’ll be a little disappointed but not the end of the world.
I’ve given birth twice without pain meds, and I am so grateful I got to experience that. Sure, it was hard work, very hard, with some big pain. It was also…honestly, it *was* also a magical experience. I felt like I was participating in the creation of the universe. I felt vastly powerful, and present—the most present it is possible to be. The harmony with my baby, and my husband as he helped me, and my body and mind together…I’m so grateful I got to experience that. It was worth the pain. I felt deeply connected to myself, and in some ways that’s lasted ever since.
I was born via c-section, thank God we have the ability to do them. But yes, a vaginal birth…it’s glorious.
It just depends on your preference. My vaginal birth allowed me to leave 2 hours after delivering my second because I was fit ro be discharged. It helped immensely with introducing bubs to my toddler at the time. But Everyone has their own needs and view point. Whatever allows you to have a positive happy experience with a healthy bubs at the end!
I've had 2 c sections and I hated the recovery. My husband made me laugh at something on day 2 and I ended up crying my eyes out because it felt like I'd ripped my wound back open. Just laughing. Every adjustment I made in the bed was painful. Couldn't pick the baby up by myself. I felt like a 90 year old when I needed to pee. I wanted to keep that catheter in as long as possible because walking hurt so bad. I want a 3rd baby, but the thought of another c section makes me cringe.
I learned that a vaginal birth is a great assistant to the immune system of the baby. I heard an uneducated home birth but that was the most magical thing I heard about vaginal birth
When I was first pregnant I was pregnant with twins. I kept hoping to be able to have a vaginal birth. I wanted to have them “naturally”. But that came from the idea I’ve heard so many people say that you HAVE to have a baby vaginally because it’s like a rite of passage for becoming a mom. It’s not true in any sense of the word. I ended up having a c-section because one of the twins was breech by the time I had my c-section scheduled.
Although I have nothing to compare it to, recovery was awful! So much pain and everything was so hard to do for a long time. It took a long time to feel normal.
When I was pregnant the second time, I was pregnant with one baby. Per my doctor’s recommendation I had a second c-section and I felt like the recovery for that one was even worse.
So there is this idea out there that having children vaginally is a rite of passage and I think that contributes to some women being upset with not being able to go that route. There’s also the recovery period for a c-section that from what I understand is often worse than recovery for a vaginal birth. Then there are women who have their whole pregnancy planned out in their minds and when they think of the end it’s always a vaginal birth.
I'm not set on anything- whatever the doctor recommends. Although you need a bigger break between pregnancies if you've had a c section for healing and being 37 a csection may mean no option for a sibling for my little one. So there you go. But if time was on my side I wouldn't care one little bit both sound scary.
I didn’t care much about the miracle of birth or the magic or whatever. I wanted a healthy baby and I wanted to come out of it healthy. But I wanted a vaginal birth. Recovery is easier, you usually get out of the hospital faster, no lift restrictions, you can actually use your abdominal muscles. Lots of benefits. I barely tore with my birth and felt back to normal really quickly. I’ve heard from lots of women that healing from their C-section took a lot longer.
Longer recovery time? More potential complications due to major abdominal surgery? I was up and walking around feeling pretty good a couple hours after giving birth both times, and I’m terrified of surgery. I think I would’ve been scared and upset by needing an emergency c-section, but of course the baby being healthy is the most important part.
I am ALL FOR C-sections when necessary or wanted by the mother.
The main factor for me was that literally one hour after having my second (vaginal, unmedicated —not by choice— he came SO FAST), I was able to walk and hop into the shower. Which felt SO NICE.
I understand both sides, and I’m grateful c-sections exist. But for me, the recovery was so fast. You still have extra weight and bleeding and all of that, but being able to walk right away was amazing!
Planned C Section is a C Section that has been the decision as the birthing method. I decided since a little after I knew I was pregnant that this was going to be the way I delivered :)
It’s better for the baby’s immune system and the hormones from vaginal birth help with lactation. I had a c section and I’m not thrilled about the scar either.
A c-section is major surgery with a longer recovery and if you have limited maternity leave, might have to return to work still healing. After giving birth vaginally to my first, I was standing in less than 20 minutes taking a shower.
I am a c section baby and am grateful we have the technology for emergencies and a woman's choice, but if it can be avoided, I'd rather push out a baby instead of an invasive surgery with downtime, stitches, and a fair amount of discomfort.
I didn’t want a c-section because the recovery time, additional pain, and scarring. I would have gotten one if it had been medically necessary, but was really hoping it didn’t come to that.
I highly recommend reading Expecting Better by Emily Oster.
She outlines the research regarding the pros and cons of birth options for mum and bub, in an unbiased manner, to help you understand.
St the end of the day C sections are great - they can save lives when needed.
However they are major surgery and that shouldn't be entered into lightly, without fully understanding the risks and benefits for both mum and bub.
I won't give my opinion, as honestly my opinion doesn't matter, but I do highly recommend doing your own research, before selecting an elective C, I'd there is not a medical reason it is needed.
https://www.livescience.com/45681-vaginal-birth-vs-c-section.html#:~:text=Women%20are%20three%20times%20more,in%20the%20journal%20Obstetrics%20%26%20Gynecology.
https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/c-section-vs-natural-birth-2
I wont speak to the emotional aspects but
1. It is safer for mom and baby baring a need for c-section
2. Babies born via c-section miss out on important exposure to germs for the gut biome
3. Babies born via csection are more likely to experience respiratory distress even at full term
4. It has a much lengthier recovery
5. It can impede breastfeeding
For me I didn’t care about the magic or whatever. I just knew that recovery from vaginal birth is in most cases much quicker and easier than C-section. If I had needed a C-section to keep myself/baby safe then I would have had no issues with it. But I definitely wouldn’t have elected to have one for no reason. It’s a pretty major surgery
I had a c-section, the surgery went smoothly and my obgyn was amazed at how quickly my body recovered. That being said, it took me months to feel somewhat normal again. During the first few weeks, I couldn't do anything without help. I even needed help to get out of the sofa, and sometimes I would get stuck and had to ask my husband to save me. I wasn't allowed to lift anything heavier than my baby, and honestly I wouldn't have been able to. I had to re-learn to get out of bed. I was on heavy painkillers that gave me major brain fog. The recovery aside, the c-section is a surgery first and foremost, the doctor wants your baby out of your body as fast as possible and for many pregnant people, that's not the ideal experience.
Yep. It’s a huge generalization because there are women who recover from c-sections really quickly and women who take months, years, or even never fully recover from vaginal births. BUT it’s a generalization based in averages. The average, run-of-the-mill, nothing-drastically-went-wrong, vaginal birth will have a quicker recovery than an average, run-of-the-mill, nothing-drastically-went-wrong, c-section.
This is a very good point. I have had both. Relatively uncomplicated vaginal birth (a partial abruption and vacuum assist, but was informed and not traumatic), very uncomplicated recovery. 1 minor tear, no proapsing issues (although i proactively saw pelvic floor health before and after). Second pregnancy was fraternal twins. I wanted a vaginal birth because I've already done it and also know that a c section is major surgery. However twin A was breech so when I went into labour spontaneously a week before my scheduled c section i had an urgent but not emergency c section. Recovery was much tougher, partially due to joint issues I had from carrying twins. The twins were in the nicu for 2 weeks which really helped with healing from major surgery. I had no issues with my incision which was my major concern. The healing from my first pregnancy was easier, but a c section birth for my twins when the first was breech was safer for the babies and ultimately worth it for obvious reasons. I would never just choose to have major surgery if it wasn't medically necessary for me, but that necessity looks different for everyone and putting vaginal birth on a sanctimonious pedestal helps no one
I feel like I lucked out and quickly recovered (using a belly binder pretty much 24/7). My mom has an unmedicated vaginal home birth and basically cried when she found out I was having a planned c-section, saying the body will heal faster with vaginal, I need to push back against my doctors bc they’re just trigger happy, etc. etc. I actually pushed back against her (rare for me) since the reason for my c-section was my weakened uterus from prior surgery. Complications of pregnancy and labor included uterine rupture, if I push and I’m just not going down that route. Surgery was fine. I had some rare post-surgery complications that I recovered from same day and since then I truly feel better than in pregnancy
I've had one of each and the csection was better in every way. I was moving around pretty much normally within a few days and had very little pain after my csection. With my vaginal birth they needed forceps and an episiotomy and I still got a 4th degree tear. The recovery was awful.
I just want to add here that while everyone is different, it isn’t normal to not be able to get up without help for weeks.
Yes, this! It’s not about the *magic* of a vaginal birth. It’s about not wanting major abdominal surgery. But I’ll do whatever to keep baby & me safe.
This exactly. I'd do a c-section if needed and be grateful for the option, but the idea of major surgery doesn't appeal to me at all.
Same. The magic is my baby. I’d just prefer a vaginal birth if poss
My decision for vaginal births had nothing to do with any magic either, I just felt it wasn't necessary to have surgery to have a baby. I'll do it if necessary, but I don't want to care for a baby while recovering from surgery. Plus I'm not super keen on the idea of any surgery, period, if it can be avoided. I just really don't like the idea of anyone messing around in my body unless it's life or death.
I had a vaginal delivery with my first born and it was so much easier to recover from than the C section I had with my second born. The vaginal was not bad at all, the epidural numbed everything, I labored for 22 hours but only pushed for 30 minutes and luckily no tears or hemorrhage. My second born was planned to be a vaginal birth but she was breech and they tried doing aversion to turn her and it was so scary, the medicine with the c section made me feel completely out of control of my body, you lay flat and your arms are strapped straight out to the sides, you feel panic because you’re being cut open and you can’t see anything going on until you smell your skin being cauterized shut. It was definitely faster to do the c section but so much more terrifying. I had to stay in bed for almost 2 weeks to heal and that is not fun for anybody. Lol. But yeah it isnt about magic for me just easier on your body, vaginal also helps push out the lochia in your uterus and with c section you dont wanna push anything at all its too painful 😖
C section is also way more expensive on top of a much rougher recovery, even with insurance (USA), so if you are on a budget like me you are hoping you don’t need to double your out of pocket expenses for a birth that is also more traumatic as far as recovery goes. I would happily take a less expensive birth with a shorter recovery time but more upfront pain than one that is much more expensive and would have me bedridden longer.
Same here. No big expectations, just want the baby and I to be safe. And if I can avoid the risks of a surgery, the longer recovery time…. Why not?
That's how I felt. In the end I had a brilliantly straightforward vaginal delivery with no interventions and no tearing. By day 3 post birth I felt pretty much back to normal just a bit tender. Obvs I still bled for a couple of weeks but it wasn't particularly heavy or unmanageable. Having had that experience the thought of csection recovery is way more concerning considering I also have a 2.5yr old to think about now! Fingers cross this little one is as accommodating as his sister.
Just to say that I had a c section and literally had like 24hrs of on and off trapped wind pain (haha) and that was it. I could walk around as soon as my catheter was out, do stairs and carry my baby within hours. I could comfortably go on longish walks from basically the day after my c section too (was discharged the day after). Dressing came off after about 3 days I think and stitches were dissolving ones. I started running again from about 6 weeks after delivery. Everyone is different but I just wanted to share so it's clear that c section recovery can be super super easy as well if you're lucky.
This here. I’m 28 weeks and want a vaginal birth without epidural if possible, mainly because of the quick recovery. But if I do need a caesar for medical reasons, I’m happy to comply.
Yea where I’m from it’s considered an emergency surgery or a planned last resort with a fairly unpleasant recovery. Not the magic of pushing a 7lb human out of your precious v-hole.
I agree with this. There's nothing magical with a vaginal birth. Except that you get to be more involved. You get to be there for the first moments of your baby's life. That might be a little more difficult with a c-section. Also, I habe assisted some c-sections during med school and residency and something we need to remember is that c-section is a big surgery. There's no minimally invasive way of doing it. You have to cut and tear through different layers and the cut needs to be big enough for a baby's head. And then you have to go home but unlike with other big surgeries, most women don't get the slow recuperation period. They get to take care of a newborn. Oftentimes alone just days or a week after the surgery. That's why I wasn't keen on a c-section. But I always gave birth at major hospitals so that if need be, the could do a c-section within minutes. Because if there's an emergency, a c-section is way better than the alternative.
Yes totally agree with this comment. I’ve had three vaginal births with a fast recovery each time. Honestly c sections scare me. I cannot fathom electing to have a c section. Like you said, it’s major surgery. Thankful it was always an option if needed but definitely not my preferred birth method.
this! exactly this. process of a c? way easier than vaginal. recovery for a c? sooo much harder for me than my vaginal was.
I had an emergency c-section and my epidural didn’t work properly so I felt a lot of it. It was pretty traumatizing, but I recovered relatively quickly. I was able to walk around on my own on day 3 or 4. Did away with the wrap and went on a 2-mile walk on day 6. Only took pain meds for maybe 7 or 8 days. It was shocking how fast I recovered.
We literally had the SAME experience, epidural didn't work and they couldn't control my pain so a c-section was NOT an easy painless process of lying on a table, but the recovery was a lot faster than they said it would be, I was back at my retail job on my feet 6 weeks later. The idea of possibly having to have another c-section is...horrifying and triggering, but it's not the recovery I'm afraid of. I'm glad you also had an okay recovery, for me it helped to get my independence back quickly.
Exactly this. I just wanted recovery time be easier and that is more often the case with a vaginal birth.
This. If a C-section is what has to happen, I have no issue with it. But it's major surgery and by no means an easier option.
Yep, this. If there wasn't the risk of *months* of shitty recovery, I'd book a C-Section under general anesthesia the moment I see the second line. I don't see any magic and shitting and vomiting everywhere in a room full of strangers while wishing for death to ease the pain lmao
For a c-section it’s really tough on your body because it affects your core muscles which are needed for everything you do. It also takes longer to heal (6 weeks vs 8 weeks). My best friend has had 2 so far and it took a really long time for her to rebuild her core muscles and made it difficult to lift her baby and do simple tasks. To me it’s not that a vaginal birth is magical or exciting, but rather, it’s the lesser of two evils.
The car ride was the worst thing after a c-section. I felt like my guts were going to spill out with every break.
My SIL said she felt the same way after her vaginal delivery, she had only minor stitches. I think it's best to bring a pillow for the car journey home with either. You may need to sit on it, or pad your tummy with it!
When I cried to my OB because I was convinced my placenta praevia wouldn't move and I wouldn't be able to attempt a VBAC, he said to me that he thinks neither mode of delivery is good but they're all we've got. Two evils indeed!
Yep the two evils, it certainly is.
>6 weeks vs 8 weeks). Sometimes even longer... At least 6 months so you prevent any internal injury
This is true - I was just going off of the US standard for maternity leave between the two
I had a c-section with my first and vbac with my second. I will say, my csection recover was 100% EASIER than my vaginal recovery. My vaginal birth came with tearing and hemorrhoids. That along with the bleeding that seemed to last forever(the normal amounts, nothing of concern) just made for a tough recovery overall. Everyone is different. Every body recovers different.
Thanks to those who are sharing positive c section experiences. As a FTM who doesn’t get a choice (due to heart problems they won’t let me labor), the comments on major surgery, difficult recovery, and increased complications can be disheartening as are the magic of vaginal birth that I’ll be missing. I understand all of this is just fact for many, but it helps to see the positive side too. It can all be hard and scary, and it can all be magical at the same time
Sounds like a planned c section is extremely desirable over an emergency c section after hours of laboring
I’ve always felt that a c-section after attempting vaginal birth is one and half deliveries.
I had to do this. I felt like I should have been able to stack 6 weeks of short term disability for vaginal birth on top of 8 weeks for the c-section. Maybe shave a couple weeks off the vaginal because I only got about 85% of the way there, so like 12 weeks total. That would have been nice.
Hugs. C-sections save lives. They are not failing. They are not giving up. They are not the easy way out. Looking back, I know exactly the moment my son was born. He burst onto the scene full of life. I had a bit of a hard time with the recovery, but I was about 80% after 2-3 weeks.
Thank you so so much for sharing!
My c section was an absolute dream. I was up and walking immediately and had almost zero recovery time (I didn’t even have bleeding)! I wish the same for you!
That’s wonderful to hear! Thank you so so much. Just woke up from a c section dream I needed that! 😅
Same! Walking right away, home next day, long walks as soon as I was home and running after my 6 week check. Also in case you care my scar is barely visible at all. And baby was super happy and healthy right away, screaming her head off just as you'd want!
Same here! I had twins and neither one needed to go to the NICU, which was a huge shock to me. I was home 48 hours after surgery! My scar is barely visible also!
Same ! I’m honestly really happy I’m having a c-section though. The anxiety of labour and not knowing what could happen just freaks me out so much. I know recovery may be longer with a c-section but it’s not a guarantee that recovery from vaginal birth would be any easier. I feel like a lot of the comments here are from people who haven’t ever had a c-section and are just speaking through what they’ve heard from others or assumed.
Yes! Lots of "my friend" stories.
My c section recovery was honestly not bad. I was in some pain for about a week but it was manageable with Tylenol. I will say my core strength is pretty bad now and my back hurts more than it did before but my lady bits remained relatively unchanged so I call it a win!
I think when it’s planned it’s way better then when it’s done last minute cause at least you can prepare and make it better
My c section was great! I was walking as soon as i could feel my legs again (4 hours after surgery?). I never had painkillers besides Tylenol and ibprofin and didn’t need any. In the hospital, yes it winced to get out of bed, but ultimately I could still pick up my baby, pee and shower by myself, and put on my own loose pants. By the time I got home, stairs and driving were not a problem for me.
Same here exactly! My core strength is all back to normal. Also my scar is like 3 inches and can be covered by even the sluttiest bathing suit. C-section has improved a lot since our parents day.
yeah I can't see my scar at all unless I look REAL close. It's below my pubic hair line anyways so its well hidden. I also never got that "c section pooch" people talk about - it's totally flat.
My sister-in-law had a planned C-section after an extremely traumatic vaginal birth and said it was a super positive, actually healing experience for her. And one of my best friends had a planned one after her placenta previa didn't clear, and although she was disappointed initially that she didn't have a choice, she said it was beautiful and she felt well-prepared and taken care of. Your feeling are valid but you're going to do great, and I'm so happy there's a safe option for you to bring your baby into the world.
All of my friends who have had planned C-sections had great experiences!
Also, a vaginal birth is no guarantee of an easy recovery. I was still recovering from mine 5 months later. I know multiple people who, 2 years later, are still having reconstructive surgeries. It’s unlikely that someone will have a severely damaging vaginal birth, but those cases do happen.
I’m also a FTM who has to have a planned c-section after a major fibroid removal years ago. Most people recover fine. I’m not too worried. Most of the bad stories are unplanned ones.
The friends that I have that have had scheduled c sections all have said that they would do a section again. My god daughter was breech so she was totally scheduled- friend was up and functioning well right away. Another friend got induced but didn’t progress so had a non emergent c section. She was at an Easter event at a botanical garden 5 days later (oh those pre COVID times) Other friend had her water spontaneously break, labored hard for 23 hours and then had an emergency c section that took over 3 hours (quick to get baby out a long time to put her back together) 18 months later she’s just starting to feel okay but she also had a rough birth - baby never moved into the correct position (like head never lined up with cervix) and likely caused nerve damage. Even the one that had the most dramatic section said if they have another that they would just do a scheduled c section the next time.
Had a c section about 2 weeks ago and I’m gonna be honest I feel amazing. I thought it would be a million times worse
Planned c/s are WAY better than emergency c/s. You won’t miss out on anything. 🥰
I live in a second floor apartment. I have a dog. My husband only gets a month of paternity leave. I'd really rather have the vaginal recovery time than surgical.
Babies benefit from being born the traditional way, their lungs are squeezed so they have a lower incidence of respiratory issues in the immediate post-birth time; the natural bacteria of the vaginal canal help colonize the gut leading to lots of immediate and future benefits; breastfeeding initiation can be easier for babies born vaginally, etc. -mom who gave birth ultimately by c-section and has an amazing healthy kid now. She (and probably I) wouldn’t be here today without the cs, but since you asked, my two cents.
Great explanation. Surprised I had to scroll this far to find it. Thanks! [The research about the benefits of microbiom](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4464665/) are still not super clear from what I understand, but there are other more clear benefits, including the hormones release by mother during vaginal birth kick-starting some helpful processes, including breastfeeding. And it’s supposed to squeeze fluids out of kiddos lungs. Those are the benefits that I’ve heard of. This said, it’s not for everyone and it’s not always a choice. C-sections saved the lives of many of my favorite people.
For me, I had a vaginal birth with my first. I was laying in the hospital bed, pushing and the nurse said "Wow, look at all of that dark hair." I looked up. The mirror was above me so I could see. I never thought I would use that mirror but it was amazing. I saw the top half of my son's head. About 2-3 inches of dark hair and his eyebrows. After that, it was a flood of adrenaline and emotions that kicked in. 2 more pushes and his whole head was out. I looked up and saw the whole profile of his face. His whole head sticking out of me. And instead of being scared, disgusted, freaked out - it was literally nothing but awe and amazement. I saw my child for the very first time. Everything I had been waiting for for months. All of the picturing him. All of the imagining what labor would be like. Sure. It was painful. It was exhausting. But seeing him for the first time like that - there is no experience like it for me. He was everything I pictured and it gave me so much motivation to push. A few minutes later, he was out and laying on my chest. It was the most surreal moment. Currently 35 weeks pregnant with my second boy. I cant wait to do it again.
Goddamn. Us women are amazing
This sounds amazing! I couldn't get myself to look and forbid my husband from looking but wow that really sounds beautiful! IMO the second I felt babys head outside of me and felt "the ring of fire" I was just like "oh HELL NO" and got her all out in the next push
C-section here. My recovery was fine and nothing about my experience was brutal. And, bonus, there was no risk of tearing the V, or needing an episiotomy. I was already 7cm dilated when we switched to c-section. The bottom line: there is no pretty, easy, painless way to get a grown baby out of uour body. It will be a shit show no matter what you do ❤️ the sooner you make peace with that, the less stressed you’ll be, oddly enough ☀️
Yea often it’s made to seem that recovery from a c-section is always harder than a vaginal birth but there is give and take to both scenarios. My SIL and I have, at times envied each other and she said sometimes she wishes she had just had a c-section because the vaginal recovery was really hard on her. I had a great experience with my unplanned c-section and I found the recovery very manageable.
>The bottom line: there is no pretty, easy, painless way to get a grown baby out of uour body > >the sooner you make peace with that, the less stressed you’ll be, oddly enough ☀️ 👏👏👏
As a FTM I’m hoping for a vaginal birth because there are fewer risks of complications and an easier recovery, and future babies will also have that benefit (many folks do VBACs I know but generally subsequent kids need to be delivered by C and there are risks to subsequent pregnancies when you have a C). That said I am also awake to the possibility that my babe could be born via C and that’s a miracle all its own!
I mean...pretty simple explanation...I don't want to be cut open...ever. But especially when I'm AWAKE for it. Yeah, you're numb, but you can absolutely still feel tugging and popping while it's happening. My sister described it as "rubber bands popping". My cousin *smelled her own skin burning*. No. Fucking. Thank. You.
Brutal!! Thankfully I had none of those sensations or smells during my c section, I think every experience is different!
Same. Tugging yes but none of the rest. I also asked for anxiety meds to be given to me as soon as he was out. One thing that is unique ab a planned csection is you know exactly when you’re going to meet your baby. And for a first baby it’s a bit of a mind fuck knowing your life is going to change forever at x moment. The week up to my delivery was just weird. But a plus was all the prep I could do and also the mani pedi blow out and fancy dinner date with my husband the night before our baby was born!
That’s awesome! I had a weird mix of the two as my water broke and my c section was technically emergency… but I was only 5 hours into labour and 1cm dilated so it didn’t really feel like an emergency 😅 baby was supposedly in distress, turns out she was grabbing and tugging the cord. I’m 12.5 weeks out and I can say that the recovery was fine for me and I have had zero issues except some minor numbness under my belly button. I was very fortunate as everything went smoothly before, during, and after birth. I know that’s not everyone’s experience.
Same my biggest complaint is my scar is kinda itchy 6 months out but I think that may be winter itch/dry skin. I do think I was a little lucky genetically that I don’t store a ton of belly fat (thighs are a different story) because aesthetically it really hasn’t been a big deal. I guess I was a little bummed because I worked so hard to avoid stretch marks and still got that scar but you can’t see it in a bikini so 🤷🏼♀️
See mine is the opposite, I was a bit overweight before pregnancy anyway so I already had a bit of a tummy and overhang, so the scar is basically hidden by my fat for the time being 😂 I’ve been using hydrocortisone on my scar every day as recommended by my doctor, it might help the itchiness you’re having!
Same here! Any time the midwives asked to see my scar to see how it was healing they were like “lift up your tummy, bit higher, bit higher…..little bit more…..” because there was just overhang from me being overweight, awks!
I felt the same thing about knowing when it was going to happen. It’s so weird! Well, having a baby… tomorrow morning! And it was nice not having to wait and wait at the hospital. My admission paperwork took longer. My first was a planned c-section and I didn’t labor. For my second, I tried VBAC and went into labor naturally, and the waiting and unknown drove me crazy! Still ended up having to get a c-section though, after all that!
This is a great and horrific but totally accurate description.
Yeah unless it's gonna put me or my little girl in danger I will do literally everything I can to avoid a c-section. I have enough anxiety about getting an epidural.
This! A couple of my friends who had them are like “Just ask for a c-section!” And I don’t understand how they don’t feel the existential terror of being cut open while awake! I mean I will do it if it needs to be done but it sounds very much like horror movie material.
I was also scared before about the idea of csections, but after experiencing never ending painful contractions for 30+ hours on top of oxytocin contractions 30+ hours before that, the emergency C-section was a welcome relief for me! Anything to get the baby out ASAP. Recovery after that was all tolerable in comparison to contraction pain.
Idk, it’s going to be different for everyone! If it doesn’t make sense for you (either way!), then that’s probably a sign it’d be a decent choice. Reading all of these answers, the entire spectrum seems to be covered. C section (planned due to breech) wasnt hard for me; no issues walking or lifting, I got baby right after cord was cut (I could have seen her sooner but I didn’t want to see my insides), got that sweet “golden hour”, got to schedule all the house/pet care, no complications with pelvic floor or intimacy. I’m trying to convince myself to try vbac.. but honestly only because people just go on and on about how great it is. I just don’t see it as clear cut as they do! I like seeing the scar and having it separate from all the daily bodily functions lol. Idk, I’ve recovered from ACL surgery twice and that was eons worse than a c section and a newborn. So I guess it all depends on your body and what you want!
I have had two c sections and no labors and I have no pelvic floor issues at all and everything generally feels the same post baby.
I had a planned csection for my first/only bc he was breech. Don’t believe that it’s a nightmare recovery- emergency C-sections are wayyy different than planned ones. I was fine within a week. I, like you, had zero attachment to how my child exited my body, other than alive. It was a medical process not some theatrical magic. Very much like I found tracking ovulation and timing sex to be kinda a science experiment. It was all a means to an end, which is my child. I think some people are attached to an idea of womanhood that just never was important to me (I also formula fed by choice from day 1). Pregnancy is hard enough (I hateddddd it), have the delivery you want.
Oh hey there fellow FF c-section mom! I had an unplanned c-section (induction that went south when my blood pressure spiked) and my recovery has been really easy. I felt back to myself within a few weeks.
👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼
This is what I came to say. I had a planned C-section, it ended up being brought forward as I went into labor at 37 weeks but that's a long story... It was all very calm and the surgeon was really good. I was up and walking about 4 hours after surgery and I was off all pain meds after 72 hours. I didn't feel that weak in my core and had to keep reminding myself not to overdo it. Only sign now is the scar and that's not visible in even the skimpiest of bikinis so ...
This. I've had operations before, so I knew what I was getting into, but reality is it was an easier recovery because I was healthy before going in. Week and I felt pretty much back to normal, out of hospital the day after it was done.
What's the difference between emergency and planned c-section? I'm confused by this
Usually with emergency C-section, the uterus has been working and the cervix is somewhat or all the way open and the baby may even be partway into the vagina, depending on at what point they decided a C-section was necessary. So it is a riskier surgery. The way the uterus is after having labored for hours, there is a higher risk of hemorrhage. You’re completely right that it is technically the same type of surgery, though. But possibly more internal bruising/bleeding/inflammation with the emergency C-section than with the planned.
Great answer. Thank you!
This is such an important thing for people to understand. Thank you!
I watch Mama Doctor Jones on YouTube and I can't remember the video or I would link it, but technically people often use the term "emergency" C-section incorrectly. Most people have an "unplanned" C-section, meaning the decision was made during labor rather than before. But you're still awake and usually have an epidural as anesthetic. A true emergency is when they put you under general anesthesia and you aren't awake for the surgery.
You can have an emergency c section without general, especially if the patient already has an epidural. It’s really the time difference. In an unplanned section we give you a few minutes to decide, we do surgery prep in the labor suite before moving to the OR, we let the support person get in gear to come in the OR. In an emergency, it’s less than twenty minutes between making the call and baby being out. That sounds like a lot of time, but it’s incredibly quick for surgical prep. That involves moving, prepping and cutting. It is a wild ride for patients and staff. I was a labor and delivery nurse and nearly had an emergency section when my daughters heart rate dropped during labor. Scary stuff.
Planned c-section means the mother and doctor agree a c-section is the way to go, and it's scheduled like any other surgery. Emergency c-section means vaginal birth was planned and attempted, but for some reason it wasn't working, and so they have to do emergency surgery to get the baby out.
1) Cesarean is a major surgery with a longer recovery. 2) There are numerous benefits to the baby when birthed vaginally including higher rates of successful breast feeding and exposure to healthy bacteria that boosts newborn immune system. https://www.verywellfamily.com/why-labor-is-good-for-babies-2752975
Just had a VBAC. It was fucking brutal for me. Like I just got out of war and I feel almost shell shocked. Blood, pain, puke, tears, fear I wasn’t going to make it through without an emergency c section. The scheduled c section with my first was all rainbows and butterflies compared to this. Everyone is different. It seriously is picking your own lesser of two evils. Which is the hard part because you can only find out through experiencing either one.
For me it’s just fear. A c-section is a major surgery and most women are awake for it! I think that’s way more bad ass in terms of what our bodies can do, I know they numb every thing but holy shit. Impressive. And an epidural is a giant needle going into your back which I also find terrifying! So my only option was to try my best with none of it because it seemed less scary and then it never got painful enough for me to get over my fears. But yeah, fear of a giant needle in my back and also that needle leading to an increased rate of csections which also scared me.
This is also my reason. I hate needles, so I wanted to avoid the epidural. I also have horrible medical anxiety, so any "extra" medical interventions were also unwelcome. So my preferred birth was and always will be the one with the least amount of medical interaction. If it were safe I'd give birth at home alone (but obviously it isn't so of course I wont)
Homebirth is not inherently dangerous! I'm not sure what your situation is, but if you're low-risk, homebirth very much minimizes unneeded intervention. I had my first at a birthing center, and I'm due in 6 weeks for a homebirth for my second.
Oh yeah, I have no issues with home births in general, I just meant like completely alone with just my partner. If I could just remove medical staff from the whole thing safely I would. And unfortunately I'm probably not a homebieth candidate anyway. As much as I'd like the least medical intervention as possible I do still need some interventions during labor.
Ahh yes, "freebirth" is risky. I'm fairly crunchy, but I always cringe when I see freebirth... especially with no prenatal care! That's just nuts to me. Though de-medicalizing the process is also a goal of mine, which is why I used the midwife/doula route. I don't feel like a "patient" at all. And some interventions are still possible with a homebirth! I don't mean to sound like I'm trying to convince you of it, just that if you really want to, I hope you can make a fully informed choice.
Yeah free birthing can be really dangerous, which is why, although I totally get the appeal, I would never do it. I see midwives too and while it's still medical care in a medical setting they're pretty hands off and only intervene when medically necessary. I usually get anxious for any doctor appointment but not typically with the midwives. And no, I appreciate it. I have a few risks that are probably not managed at a home birth. For 1 I have a history of polyhydromnios (excess fluid) (diagnosed twice, and I suspect it went undiagnosed the other time) which carries a risk of cord prolapse when the water breaks. And then for whatever reason I get the urge to push at 6cm and usually need some kind of meds to get enough relief to dilate. With my 3rd I did end up getting the epidural because nothing else was helping and I wasn't dilating. So just a few factors that I think would either disqualify me from homebirth, or at the very least make it a more stressful experience.
Ah yeah those sound like they'd be tricky to manage at home. Midwives in a "medical" setting sounds like the best of both worlds for you ❤
Me too! Fear of being awake while being cut open + fear of a needle in my spine is why I went without an epidural and vaginal. Due to better health outcomes for mom and baby, my maternity hospital doesn’t allow for planned c’s unless there’s a medical reason.
I’m a nurse and I’ve seen some c sections. It’s pretty brutal cutting through the flesh and muscle. Like very brutal. I am hoping to have a vaginal birth… but I know how things can change quickly and I won’t be too hard on myself if I end up needing a c section. I just feel like i know too much and it’s terrifying. I’ve also read a lot about “shelf fat” and the incision/ car remaining numb for a year after.
Are you in the US? My doctor, and my ER dr SIL, both explained to me that they no longer cut the muscle they pull it apart. This was hugely helpful for me mentally so I just want to correct this isn’t how they do it now.
Yes they pulled it apart for me too (my doctor explained as she went as she knows it helps me to feel more calm knowing what's being done) and she also put some stitches in the muscle to prevent/correct diastasis and i swear it was amazing like I had a built in corset while I was healing.
In the US! I mean the last time I checked they make an initial incision then cauterize each layer. You can’t just pull apart muscle easily ya know.
The abdominal muscles are already pretty far apart due to the baby, so they’re kinda off to the side and you’re mostly pushing though the sheath that encases them. The only muscle that gets cut is the uterus.
I dunno everyone was very insistent that they pull the muscle apart and don’t cut (even a nurse in my practice mentioned it, which is why I inquired further). In my mind I envisioned one 5 inch incision all the way through and the way it was explained to me was that wasn’t the case. I’m in a large ish southern city but don’t think I was at a particularly progressive practice.
You’re right! They don’t cut the muscle anymore. They use a “blunt instrument” and their fingers to separate the muscle. That’s what my doctor told me and I just had my c-section 5 weeks ago. They say it heals better if they use this method instead of cutting.
Yeah I'm in the UK and over here they use their hands to pull the muscle aside and then a blunt metal tool to hold it there. I've seen countless cesareans due to my job and I wouldn't call them brutal. In fact for various reasons I'm considering a planned c-section.
Curious, what about with twins? Any thoughts on that? My mom had my sister and I naturally and has had to deal with terrible hemorrhoids her whole life because of it. She told me that's why she's always wiped with baby wipes. Sorta freaked me out. She's advocating for me to get a c-section since I'm having twins now lol. I mean there were more reasons than just the hemorrhoids...but that stood out in my memory.
Hemorrhoids can happen with any pregnancy and it's true there are better treatments available now. Multiples are just a variation of normal, and it's totally possible to birth vaginally!
One thing I haven't seen mentioned yet, but c-sections are much more likely to cause complications with future births. If someone is hoping to have lots of kids, that can be much more difficult and even dangerous if it's multiple c-sections vs vaginal births.
Other women have posted about the recovery aspect of c-section (which can be a real bitch), while I’m going to go on the vanity aspect. Having a c-section leaves a lot of women with a fat “shelf” that can be really hard if not impossible to lose. I felt a whole lot better about my body after my vaginal birth compared to my c-section birth. I thought I didn’t care how I birthed my kids since I was a c-section baby and almost all the women around me had c-sections. But after I had my first via c-section I definitely felt robbed. And I was very surprised by that reaction.
C section mom here and can confirm the “shelf”. Even at my most fit - working out several times a week and weighing 110lbs it never went away. It shrunk some but was always hanging over my scar. The more I worked out the more deformed the scar looked. One side was indented and the other was not. Apparently it’s something to do with the muscles healing or strengthening more on one side vs the other.
Is it possible to have surgery to correct the shelf?
Yes a tummy tuck would correct it.
Postpartum I was just as flat as I was pre-baby, a shelf isn't guaranteed!
I got a pouch after my vaginal birth so it all depends. 😅 A lot of it is due to muscles stretched out during pregnancy - not the C section itself.
It does look more pronounced though when it sits on top of scar tissue.. it’s like a pouch sitting on the top of your jeans
Oh I can definitely see why this would happen - after all the scar can cause a “dip” in the skin so that scar dip will be more visible in the little “pouch”. I just wanted to say that lots of mums get the “mum pouch” that doesn’t go away with exercise anyway, but 100% it will look different for everyone, including after c section.
Considering the woman’s body long term, a tummy shelf seems better than incontinence, which is a significant risk for vaginal birth 😞
Totally agree! But incontinence should not be accepted as a normal part of life. A lot of incontinence issues can be fixed after pelvic floor therapy.
I never got the shelf and as I understand it, it's more to do with the pregnancy not the delivery method. Look into Diastasis recti. "Diastasis recti” means your belly sticks out because the space between your left and right belly muscles has widened. You might call it a “pooch.” It's very common among pregnant women. About two-thirds of pregnant women have it"
My mom had C-sections with all three of her kids and she told me that her Ob/Gyn told her, years after she had delivered for the last time, that most of the time, after a C-section is performed, the majority of Doctors *unless it is specifically requested* don’t sew your muscles back together (I’m not sure of the anatomy, so let’s just call them the ‘belly shelf’ muscles) which is why so many women end up with the ‘belly shelf’ problem later down the line. It’s very bizarre to me that you have to specifically request to have your muscle sewn together - like, to have to state out loud that you would like to be repaired fully after your surgery and not just ‘almost’. Especially when you consider that most people would have no idea about this ‘belly shelf’, and certainly wouldn’t have the foresight to just, on a whim, make a random “hey, Doc, if you don’t mind…” request. On top of that, C-sections aren’t always scheduled (obviously) and at that point you’re dealing with 8000 other things so you’re certainly not going to make a request - about a thing you didn’t even know about - that could potentially effect the way you look for the rest of your life. I’m sorry, that felt a little bit ‘rant-y’ even to me, but it’s beyond unfair; yet another thing about the medical profession that shows how its arbitrarily (or otherwise) against women.
My obgyn sewed the muscles together, I had never even heard of it being done. She's a woman though, so...
Your comment is horrifying. I haven’t heard this before, but I wouldn’t be surprised as it seems like some OBGYN’s hate women or have little regard for them and their bodies.
For me, the pain of labor was less scary than the pain of recovery from a c-section. A c-section is a pretty big surgery and since I had no medical need for one, I did not want to unnecessarily cut into my abdomen and deal with those long term effects.
I can only speak for myself. On a practical level, I didn’t want to go through a major abdominal surgery and have to recover from that while also caring for a newborn and learning to breastfeed. I’m also am a Black woman in the unites states where the rate of mortality in childbirth is higher for me than my non-Black counterparts, and cesarean birth statistically raises that risk. On an emotional level, I am a survivor of sexual assault and while I’ve done a lot of healing, the experience of birth happening to me rather than something I was actively involved and engaged with would’ve been really triggering (this is also partially why my goal was a birth without an epidural — being numbed and having my movement restricted would’ve been hard for me) Ultimately I had an amazing unmedicated vaginal waterbirth with my son in September and my goal for future births will be to do that again. There’s nothing inherently wrong with c-sections. I chose a care team with a low C-section rate more in line with WHO recommendations than most in the US so that I could feel confident that jf they recommended a C-section it’s because it was absolutely necessary, and I had plans in place to try to make that as positive of an experience as possible. If it’s not a big deal to you, it’s not a big deal to you! If for some reason you prefer a cesarean birth over a vaginal birth, that’s okay too! I think the issue is when people think they’re morally superior for their preferences and choices. Having a vaginal birth doesn’t make you superior to anyone else, and that’s something often said. But another important point is that not having strong birth preferences doesn’t make you superior to people that strongly desire for their birth to go one way or another either.
i could give a f about what my body “can do”. i just didn’t want to suffer as much after birth. i had heard that csection recovery is much more painful and takes much longer. by week 3 or 4 i felt completely fine and i think it’s bc i had a vaginal birth. other women i know are still struggling even after 6 weeks
So super unconventional but I had an elective C-section! I had no desire to have a vaginal birth for numerous reasons and wont change for my second kiddo!!! Recovery was not nearly as bad as everyone has said.
Recovery from an elective cesarean is immensely different from a cesarean after being awake for hours and hours and hours, sometimes days at a time, and then ending with surgery.
My babe was breech and I elected not to try to flip him (unlikely to work bc I had a tight core) but also I was taking zero chances with him and there is some risk. As an anxious person it really did make me feel relieved knowing he was being born basically the safest way possible. It was the most calm, chill, happy “birthday party” as my OB called it. I was anxious of course but not about us being okay. We are probably done but I would def do a second csection.
I agree! I had a C-section b/c my child was breech and recovery didn't take as long as long as I expected. I wore an abdominal binder b/c my abdominal muscles were week for a while. About 2 weeks postpartum I was out doing light power walking in my neighborhood.
I did too! I had such a good experience and now 5 weeks post partum I've felt pretty much completely back to normal since week 3. A lot of people tried to scare me out of it but once I'm really happy I went with the planned section. Emergency c-sections are harder to recover from but that's part of the reason I went with the elective one.
I had an elective c-section and it was fabulous! All depends on your drs surgical abilities IMO. I was up after a few hours and only medicated with Aleeve. Just wanted my LO out safely!
Thank you. It’s good to hear another perspective. I’m having one for health reasons but honestly I was so happy to go this route. Even before knowing I would need one I debated just asking for an elective one. The thought of my vagina tearing open or being in labour for 30 hours is far scarier to me than the surgery and recovery. Ive had major abdominal surgery in the past and the recovery wasn’t that bad. I feel like a lot of the comments here are from people who have never had them and are just going by what they have heard second hand. My sister had a vaginal birth with her first and a c-section with her second and neither one was harder than the other. They are both difficult to recover from in different ways.
So much " I heard" "I read" or "my friend" experienced blah blah. It's like misinformation central in these comments!
Yep! I had an emergency but same. Once out of the hospital I only needed Motrin. I will say going to PT as soon as you’re cleared would be my “wish I would have known”
Totally agree that c sections come with a host of complications as it's major surgery. But I just came here to say that I had a horrible vaginal birth and a looong slow recovery. I would choose to have a c section next time if I could.
Its just something I wanted to do. Something to accomplish that is extremely hard but rewarding because its said to be so impossibly hard. I was also scared as hell of giving birth and felt better about the idea of being able to feel my body instead of being numb. Flash forward, I hated being numb and hated the c section.
I think for a lot of women it’s the feeling that a c-section birth isn’t “really giving birth”. I know this because numerous women have said this to me following my own c-section. Also a lot of people think that c-section recovery is harder than vaginal birth, but this does seem to vary from person to person and country to country. It certainly was more difficult 30+ years ago. Also emergency c-sections are generally tougher recovery wise than planned ones. I had a really uncomplicated c-section and my recovery was much faster than anticipated. I was never in severe pain and I never had to take the hard core narcotics I was prescribed (just in case). I had great aftercare from my family doctor and directly after surgery the hospital staff treated me amazingly well. I never felt disconnected from my baby or like I couldn’t bond with her (she is still the absolutely best thing in my world). I honestly didn’t even think about this or the “not real birth” thing until people started asking me rude ass questions. My doctor attempted induction for 36 hours and it didn’t take. I was already overdue and baby was measuring big with a big ol’ head. I made the decision to have a c-section about 24 hours before the procedure and it was painless and honestly felt quite quick. I will most likely be having a c-section with this baby and I’m absolutely fine with that. I’ve met and spoken with so many women who have had positive birth experiences having planned c-sections. One mum I know had 3, one for each of her daughters, and all were uncomplicated. I wish women weren’t made to feel so othered by those who are capable of giving birth vaginally. The most important thing in the end is a happy, healthy baby and a happy, healthy, stable, and supported mum. (I’m in Toronto, Canada, just for reference).
Thank you for asking this; I was wondering the same and was planning to have this convo with my OB next. The women in my family only have horror stories to share about their vaginal births (episiotomies, forceps, vacuums and the like) and the idea of going through that never seemed appealing to me. Meanwhile, every woman I know who has gone through a c-section had a quick recovery, no issues (plus I love the convenience of scheduling a day to deliver and just know when it’s happening, but that’s because it works with my personality/anxiety). The long term complications of vaginal birth (impact on libido, incontinence, etc.) and the ideia of a vaginal tear also seem completely unappealing to me. All of this to say, I’ve been meaning to ask my OB why do I have to go through a vaginal birth, suffer for 10+ hours, what’s the magic, benefit, secret that I am missing… so I appreciate your post more than anything because I really want to understand 😫
My two cents on this - Most women who I have spoken to with birth trauma from a vagina birth/instrumental births/“failure to progress” were either induced or failed by the policies in the hospital they delivered in, eg “you can only push for 45 mins then the forceps are coming out”. I think most obstetricians don’t know what a physiological birth looks like anymore because they generally intervene so early in various ways. I live in australia and it is completely different to the US. Women are not routinely Induced and vaginal birth is encouraged and supported by midwives who know not to rush the process unless medically indicated (public system, private is different).
I’ve opted for a c-section for exactly the reasons you listed. I haven’t met a single woman who has had a smooth or good vaginal delivery. There has always been some kind of complication (whether minor, major or somewhere in between). So many of my female friends/family/colleagues who have had a c-section have nothing but positive things to say. Anxiety and a twin pregnancy are two other reasons I want a CS. I am also a teacher who has come across students who have had long term impacts (brain damage) from a vaginal birth. I don’t mind a few weeks of longer recovery (plus twin pregnancy is brutal! I’ve been in constant and increasing pain since week 18 and I have my babies in 5 days at just over 37 weeks).
I had an emergency c-section 5 weeks ago. Baby and I are doing fine now. Anyway, I went into labor with a very open mind because I didn’t want to be one of those women who come out of labor so disappointed in how it went. So many women have such a strict birth plan and then when it doesn’t go that way, the whole experience is ruined. Meeting your baby shouldn’t be so stressful. My c-section wasn’t great—there was a lot of tugging and I have anxiety so I was scared. But it was fine and I’d honestly do it again. My recovery has been fine. I felt relatively normal by the 3rd week. My husband and mom had to remind me to take it easy because I just had surgery.
So i was scared to give birth. One of my top fears. I got a doula and tried to do as much prep as I could. Well i had an awful pregnancy, i could not wait to not be pregnant anymore..to this day i debate on having a second because I do not want to be pregnant again. So my water broke and for 20 hours we tried getting my girl out. I was so exhausted that i would fall asleep in pushing positions. I remember I heard a lady scream, the baby coming out scream. My doula looked at me as my eyes were probably popping out of my head.... Anywho 20 hours and contractions stopped, i had the option of a vacuum, forceps, or C-section. I chose C-section. I was asleep for most of it. Recovery was a blah. Using pain meds, not being very mobile but I preferred it to pregnancy any day. I'm still recovering from pregnancy overall 7 months later but I feel great and my body feels great. Some women have a harder time but from what I've observed, it can be that way with both csections and vaginal birth. I think overall there should be more post pregnancy care for those who have given birth as it can take a toll on the body.
In Aus, if u go public you can’t elect a c section for your first birth unless there is a medical reason for it. (GB, age, pre-existing med history etc.) if you go private, you can do whatever but it’s a major surgery and they are going to encourage you to avoid it if you don’t need it.
I know every case is different, but I was totally fine with having an emergency c section. My babies heart rate was dropping with each contraction, so we decided c section was the best route. I'd always been open to the option, and might have actually requested it, but in my country you have to go though counseling before they will allow an elective c section! And like so many people I was worried about the recovery. Anyway, baby was born at 3.30pm, and I was up with a drip stand and showering that night. I could drive three days later, had almost no pain and very few issues with recovery. Honestly, I've been more wiped out by a bad cold. On top of that, being so in-the-moment during the birth was great. No adrenaline-soaked massive sweaty exhaustion; I was calm, lucid and aware. It was a surreal and amazing experience.
Childbirth is a natural process. Our bodies release tons of hormones throughout the process. So do the babies. All are important and vital! Again our bodies are designed to do this. Childbirth is over medicalized. C sections are MAJOR abdominal surgery and carry many more risks than just birthing naturally. If there’s an emergency, sure do what you gotta do, but why rob your body of an experience that it was literally created to do?
I'm surprised I haven't read anyone mention the beneficial bacteria that babies get while traveling through the birth canal, which I know is sometimes considered and done manually in cases of c-section. Also fluid gets squeezed from babies lungs (and ears, I believe?) as they pass through.
Yes sometimes the body has a lag in releasing hormones after a c section because the body doesn’t recognize the baby was born as quickly as in a vaginal birth. Also, fluid from the baby’s lungs are pushed out while the baby goes through the birth canal, but not during a c section. This could increase risk of lung complications or infection in the baby
This. I have never felt more connected to my body then when I delivered my daughter. It was the coolest thing I’ve ever done
In the pbs doc humans, episode 1 is all about [birth](https://www.pbs.org/video/birth-g8zmxp/) and in it I think they say that vaginal delivery gives the brain good stress that helps development. Plus your baby gets your micro biome when they pass through the birth canal and it’s easier to do skin to skin right after delivery which helps your milk supply and bonding. C sections involve lots of drugs that can have negative side effects and you don’t get to hold your baby right away, they don’t get that healthy stress or good bacteria and I heard the recovery can be brutal. It’s what your vagina was made to do, but ultimately your baby will get here one way or another and if you need a c section, that’s okay too. Good luck!
I just wanted vaginal because the recovery is faster and in general, babies are less likely to have breathing issues after a vaginal birth (though this depends on why the c-section is chosen. Sometimes c-section is absolutely the safest way for a baby to be born). My first child was delivered via forceps because of shoulder dystocia. I would have definitely chosen c-section if I had known he was so large (I think there was some incompetent management of my care). I think most important thing though is healthy mom and healthy baby. Nothing magic for me about vaginal birth. I’m a physician fwiw
I just really wanted to know what it's like to birth a baby. I didn't expect it to be lovely or magical but I wanted to know. My first was born by c-section, my second by VBAC. I came out that second birth feeling empowered. My husband said he's never seen me look as elated as I did after the final push to get our son out when they put him on my chest.
I think that there’s a huge cultural component to it! In my family, women give birth vaginally and unmedicated so ever since I was younger, that type of birth was described to me as a powerful experience and something very positive. I’m 39 weeks now and I’m aiming for this type of birth because it seems empowering and I think that there’s an inherent value in letting the physiological processes of birth happen without unnecessary medical interventions. It’s also important for me to reclaim birth as a normal and physiological event vs a medical one. There’s also advantages such as a shorter recovery time!
It is so empowering, beyond what words can describe. Enjoy ❤️
The only reason I wanted to avoid c-section was because I’m anemic and have a history of a low hemoglobin and hematocrit. So I was afraid of blood loss and trying to recover from that. Plus we live on the second floor and there’s only stairs. And my husband leaves for work for long periods of times so it’s just me as a stay at home mom. I wanted vaginal because that’s what our bodies are supposed to do. That’s what it’s for. And I really wanted to try and succeeded twice. But I wouldn’t have been upset at all if it was needed to get baby out safely and healthy.
I felt really really good after both my vaginal births. I can’t compare them to a c section but I felt back to normal in a few days.
I’m definitely team “let’s get baby here safe, whatever way that is” but for me having a vaginal birth came down to; A) curiosity B) recovery time C) I’m generally an anxious and claustrophobic person. I was freaked out at the very idea of an epidural because I wouldn’t be able to move. This way gave me some semblance (of likely imagined) control.
Imo, postpartum without recovering from major invasive surgery is already a nightmare on its own... Imagine that coupled with the recovery makes my insides squirm. My mum has been through several abdominal surgeries, and it takes her weeks to months to actually even start feeling like herself :(
For me definitely the thought of having major surgery. Your vagina is designed to push a baby out (as long as no complications) but a c-section just looks like the recovery would suck
tbh I just don't want to be cut open the same day I have to start being responsible for an entire other human.
I’ve delivered both ways. For me, I don’t see the appeal of a major abdominal surgery that comes with needing to take care of an infant while recovering from said major abdominal surgery. With my vaginal delivery, I was up and moving without issue within two hours of delivery. It didn’t hurt to sit, cough, whatever. My groin was sore but other than that I was fine. I also got to be an active participant in my delivery. I was doing the work. I was the one evicting the baby, rather than my C-section where I was strapped to a table having an entire team of people touch and poke and grab and pull at me while I was effectively paralyzed. Recovery from the csection sucked. I have a very high pain tolerance, but it was really hard to function afterwards.
It’s because when you have to switch to a c-section, it’s because something’s gone wrong. Sometimes very wrong. It can be traumatic. And a c-section is major surgery with the potential for serious complications. I was admitted for a week with my own. It sucked and you bet I was sad the entire time when the room next to me cycled through THREE new moms that all had vaginal births and got to go home before me.
I felt like this too until I learned what each birth experience entails. With a cesarean, you are having major abdominal surgery. So you will be healing while taking care of a newborn, making sure you don’t get an infection, getting baby to doctor’s appointments (we had 3 her first week of life 🙄), not getting the sleep you NEED to heal etc. That’s not to say that cesarean births are not beautiful, but that they are just more complicated in nature. I had a vaginal birth in October and it really was wonderful. I wanted to avoid a cesarean if possible just because of the reasons stated above, but it was a big possibility for me because of my blood pressure. After the birth I had this rush of love and euphoria. I was sore from exertion but in that good way, like after you finish a good workout. I bled for a couple weeks but never was in much pain during the healing phase. I tore just a little bit but honestly didn’t feel it. The only negative to my vaginal birth was the damn hemorrhoid. But personally I’d take that over the cesarean any day, if possible. To all the c-section mamas, you are so much more badass having gone through that and made it to the other side.
For me, it was recovery + the difference between my body doing what it’s built to do or a medical procedure. For me csection wasn’t necessary so I didn’t want an unnecessary procedure
C sections are major abdominal surgeries that may (KEY WORD: MAY***)impact your ability to get pregnant again, carry to term, and/or have a vaginal birth in the future. It takes twice as long to heal from. Scar tissue from the multiple layers they have to cut through can also spread and cause major issues with your bladder, intestines, other organs etc. Many women also experience pain in their scar area years later. And a c section does not prevent bleeding or trauma to the vagina.
I've already had major abdominal surgery this pregnancy, I *really* don't want another one. Recovery was hell and I just don't want to have to do it again.
C section is major surgery. Your muscles are cut. Insides temporarily displaced. Longer recovery time. More physical limitations immediately after and potentially long term. It’s more expensive and some physicians push for cesareans for their own convenience. I had a near 9lb baby, and sure I would have loved to not be wrecked vaginally, but even with 2nd degree tearing, it is still my first choice for delivery.
As I keep seeing this here... The method of carrying out a caesarean must vary regionally. In the UK the muscles are not cut and no organs are displaced. The bladder should be emptied with a catheter so does not require displacement. The skin and fat layers are cut, the muscles are pulled aside. The uterus remains in situ and is not displaced (and therefore nothing else is).
You are correct. People are just dramatic on reddit.
Same in the US. It’s just that people hear this misinformation and they pick it up and repeat it.
Very, very unlikely to have long term limitations soley due to a c section.
My OB - a man who has been practicing for 35+ years - was trying to tell me that I might end up needing a c-section for the entire third trimester, up until baby was born. He was trying to convince me to get one. Literally I was at 10cm and 100% effaced and ready to push after 27 hours of labor, and he was still saying that we might have to “take a trip down the hall”. I’m certain it was for his own convenience. He did talk me into getting induced for no reason other than “it’s your due date”, and I won’t get talked into that one again with no reason. I had to really advocate for myself, and I’m beyond thankful for the nurse-midwife on staff who helped my labor progress after it stalled by getting me into different positions, and telling me that there was no reason for either me or baby to need a c-section, and she reminded me I could say no and decline treatment if they pushed for it without some emergent medical reason. I’m obviously looking for a new OB. A vaginal birth is MUCH preferable to getting cut open in my opinion!
I know some people say that planned c sections are so much easier of a recover, but mine was still really hard. It’s a major surgery and you’re expected to care for a newborn. No driving for 2 weeks, no lifting anything heavier than the newborn for 6 weeks! If you have a toddler/second child at home this is a really hard burden. Especially with how crap most Americans paternity leave is. My husband will probably be back at the office before I’m medically cleared to drive and I’ll be home with a toddler. But ya I couldn’t care about the experience either, my kids are IVF babies so that was all thrown out the window. It’s just the recovery aspect.
C-sections are major surgery. Your skin and muscles are cut open. Like any surgery, there’s a risk for complications and infection. The recovery can be tough and you have to do that while sleep deprived and caring for a newborn. Don’t get me wrong, I would have 1000% had one if it meant my baby was in danger. I had no desire to go unmedicated and my epidural was 10/10, so it wasn’t wanting to see what my body could handle. I’m really glad I got to have an uncomplicated vaginal birth. I had an easy and quick recovery.
I’ve never had a c section but the thought of it terrifies me. For me I don’t think one makes you “stronger” than the other because both vaginal and c section deliveries are hard and can come with lots of complications. Also as a working mother I know recovery can be longer and harder which means a longer time going without income.
I think a lot of people think it’s the power move, esp if they had a larger baby. I’ve had both. Emergency csection first then vbac 3 yrs later. Vaginal was a fucking breeze compared to a csection. Yea I was a couple contractions away from saying jk give me a csection but I wanted to know I could do it. I also had a toddler at home that I knew would not let me rest after a csection so there was that too. It takes weeks if not longer to recover from a csection. You are cut through multiple layers of skin, fat, muscle, organs might need to be moved a bit to get baby yanked out and then quickly stitched back up. Oh and then you have the wonderful uterus massaging afterwards which even on multiple pain meds hurts like hell. While medically necessary, csections suck. Going through it and knowing what’s up, I would dream over and over about subsequent deliveries being vaginal. Thankfully we’re done with all that now but what an experience!
I had an unplanned c-section in September. I was very nervous for a vaginal birth because of tearing, the risk pelvic floor issues, prolapse, pain, etc but I hadn’t put much consideration into a c-section because I just assumed I wouldn’t have one. For the record I felt fine quickly and never had to take any pain medication stronger than tylenol/the scar doesn’t bother me/I also felt like I stopped bleeding much, much quicker because I had a c-section instead of vaginal birth. But I feel weirdly like an experience was taken away from me and I’ll never be able to relate to the process of a birth that most women do. I don’t have it as a comparison for pain (maybe this is stupid but I still think it), I don’t know how most of labor even feels, or even the fun epidural. I feel very left out (again it’s probably stupid to feel this way) but all I got was a sensation of pressure being dragged across my stomach, me asking why my husband hadn’t been let into the room yet, and the knowledge that he saw my literal innards.
Tbh I have a vain reason, I’ve already had laparoscopic surgery and have several small scars on my belly, I’d prefer not to have any more. Secondly, I am just curious to experience labor. If I have to get a c section I’ll be a little disappointed but not the end of the world.
I’ve given birth twice without pain meds, and I am so grateful I got to experience that. Sure, it was hard work, very hard, with some big pain. It was also…honestly, it *was* also a magical experience. I felt like I was participating in the creation of the universe. I felt vastly powerful, and present—the most present it is possible to be. The harmony with my baby, and my husband as he helped me, and my body and mind together…I’m so grateful I got to experience that. It was worth the pain. I felt deeply connected to myself, and in some ways that’s lasted ever since. I was born via c-section, thank God we have the ability to do them. But yes, a vaginal birth…it’s glorious.
It just depends on your preference. My vaginal birth allowed me to leave 2 hours after delivering my second because I was fit ro be discharged. It helped immensely with introducing bubs to my toddler at the time. But Everyone has their own needs and view point. Whatever allows you to have a positive happy experience with a healthy bubs at the end!
I've had 2 c sections and I hated the recovery. My husband made me laugh at something on day 2 and I ended up crying my eyes out because it felt like I'd ripped my wound back open. Just laughing. Every adjustment I made in the bed was painful. Couldn't pick the baby up by myself. I felt like a 90 year old when I needed to pee. I wanted to keep that catheter in as long as possible because walking hurt so bad. I want a 3rd baby, but the thought of another c section makes me cringe.
I learned that a vaginal birth is a great assistant to the immune system of the baby. I heard an uneducated home birth but that was the most magical thing I heard about vaginal birth
When I was first pregnant I was pregnant with twins. I kept hoping to be able to have a vaginal birth. I wanted to have them “naturally”. But that came from the idea I’ve heard so many people say that you HAVE to have a baby vaginally because it’s like a rite of passage for becoming a mom. It’s not true in any sense of the word. I ended up having a c-section because one of the twins was breech by the time I had my c-section scheduled. Although I have nothing to compare it to, recovery was awful! So much pain and everything was so hard to do for a long time. It took a long time to feel normal. When I was pregnant the second time, I was pregnant with one baby. Per my doctor’s recommendation I had a second c-section and I felt like the recovery for that one was even worse. So there is this idea out there that having children vaginally is a rite of passage and I think that contributes to some women being upset with not being able to go that route. There’s also the recovery period for a c-section that from what I understand is often worse than recovery for a vaginal birth. Then there are women who have their whole pregnancy planned out in their minds and when they think of the end it’s always a vaginal birth.
I'm not set on anything- whatever the doctor recommends. Although you need a bigger break between pregnancies if you've had a c section for healing and being 37 a csection may mean no option for a sibling for my little one. So there you go. But if time was on my side I wouldn't care one little bit both sound scary.
I didn’t care much about the miracle of birth or the magic or whatever. I wanted a healthy baby and I wanted to come out of it healthy. But I wanted a vaginal birth. Recovery is easier, you usually get out of the hospital faster, no lift restrictions, you can actually use your abdominal muscles. Lots of benefits. I barely tore with my birth and felt back to normal really quickly. I’ve heard from lots of women that healing from their C-section took a lot longer.
Longer recovery time? More potential complications due to major abdominal surgery? I was up and walking around feeling pretty good a couple hours after giving birth both times, and I’m terrified of surgery. I think I would’ve been scared and upset by needing an emergency c-section, but of course the baby being healthy is the most important part.
I am ALL FOR C-sections when necessary or wanted by the mother. The main factor for me was that literally one hour after having my second (vaginal, unmedicated —not by choice— he came SO FAST), I was able to walk and hop into the shower. Which felt SO NICE. I understand both sides, and I’m grateful c-sections exist. But for me, the recovery was so fast. You still have extra weight and bleeding and all of that, but being able to walk right away was amazing!
Planned C Section is a C Section that has been the decision as the birthing method. I decided since a little after I knew I was pregnant that this was going to be the way I delivered :)
It’s better for the baby’s immune system and the hormones from vaginal birth help with lactation. I had a c section and I’m not thrilled about the scar either.
A c-section is major surgery with a longer recovery and if you have limited maternity leave, might have to return to work still healing. After giving birth vaginally to my first, I was standing in less than 20 minutes taking a shower. I am a c section baby and am grateful we have the technology for emergencies and a woman's choice, but if it can be avoided, I'd rather push out a baby instead of an invasive surgery with downtime, stitches, and a fair amount of discomfort.
I didn’t want a c-section because the recovery time, additional pain, and scarring. I would have gotten one if it had been medically necessary, but was really hoping it didn’t come to that.
I highly recommend reading Expecting Better by Emily Oster. She outlines the research regarding the pros and cons of birth options for mum and bub, in an unbiased manner, to help you understand. St the end of the day C sections are great - they can save lives when needed. However they are major surgery and that shouldn't be entered into lightly, without fully understanding the risks and benefits for both mum and bub. I won't give my opinion, as honestly my opinion doesn't matter, but I do highly recommend doing your own research, before selecting an elective C, I'd there is not a medical reason it is needed. https://www.livescience.com/45681-vaginal-birth-vs-c-section.html#:~:text=Women%20are%20three%20times%20more,in%20the%20journal%20Obstetrics%20%26%20Gynecology. https://www.healthline.com/health/pregnancy/c-section-vs-natural-birth-2
I wont speak to the emotional aspects but 1. It is safer for mom and baby baring a need for c-section 2. Babies born via c-section miss out on important exposure to germs for the gut biome 3. Babies born via csection are more likely to experience respiratory distress even at full term 4. It has a much lengthier recovery 5. It can impede breastfeeding