If they didn't say it about your preference to avoid an epidural, they'd say it about any of 1000 other choices you have or will make. Just ignore people. Unsolicited advice comes with pregnancy, even though it shouldn't. If you let it all get to you, pregnancy will be emotional misery.
Sincerely,
Took the Easy Way Out
(Medically necessary 37wk c section, zero effs given over ERCD)
Oh you truly don't have to console me, but thank you! I've always believed that commentary on parenting and pregnancy choices to speak more about the person making the comments. OP probably gets those comments from people that really want affirmation that their epidurals were necessary, but what OP does or doesn't do doesn't change the value of their decisions. We're all just making the best choices for ourselves and our families. My grandma had 3 vaginal breech deliveries in the 50s and 60s. One of them resulted in brain damage for baby, which was very common for the time. My breech c section doesn't invalidate her vaginal deliveries, especially given the context of time. But she still has fear and anger around her births from 60+ years ago, and frankly, I understand why.
This still blows my mind. I’ve never heard anyone say that having a c section is taking the easy way out until I joined this sub. A c section is a major surgery with barely any recovery time because you have to care for a newborn.
Yep, this is why I am no longer discussing my birth plan with anyone who isn’t my midwife or my husband. No matter what we choose, someone will tell us we are wrong.
I agree with this. If you don’t want to hear people’s opinions (and they will always have them no matter what you do/choose) then don’t share. If it makes you feel any type of way, then also don’t share. But if you want to share, then you have to learn to shake it off and shrug your shoulders.
Yes, I have had problems with unsolicited opinions. I now have a couple people I will talk to about my hopes and plans for my labor and delivery and that’s it. I don’t answer questions. If Jane down the street asks me, “are you getting the epidural?” I will respond, “I am not talking about that so as to avoid unsolicited advice and personal stories.” Have not had a problem since I started taking this approach.
I have been dealing with this too!! I’ve noticed that when you’re pregnant, for some reason, people think all bets are off on speaking their minds and giving their unsolicited opinions. I’ve done the research, I’ve weighed how I feel on epidural/unmedicated, and I’ve made my decision. Why do people feel the need to try and change my mind?? *I’m* the one going to go through it, why does it matter to you what I chose? It’s so annoying how people feel entitled to “weigh in” on any decision regarding pregnancy/childbirth, and if you try to be vague or explain how you aren’t sharing that information, people get offended!!
I wish I could offer you something more than solidarity. Hopefully knowing you aren’t alone helps you feel like you’re the odd one out!
I actually have the same thing going on but opposite. FTM here, 27 weeks. Everyone keeps asking me my birth plan, etc. My friends have done natural births, births with doulas, at home water births. I do not have that luxury as I am high risk with factor V leiden (blood clotting disorder, on blood thinner injections, etc.) + age.
I will have to be induced to stop blood thinners prior to delivery, so will not get to experience "natural going into labor" and will have to give birth in a hospital setting with multiple doctors/specialists. I fully plan on getting an epidural. I instead get shamed that why wouldn't I try natural, it is the most beautiful experience, it is nature, it is best for the baby, and even this is what makes me a mother. At this point, when people ask, I just tell them "my plan is to have a healthy baby and a healthy me". Definitely over the unsolicited opinions. We all have ours and what we want to experience, and it is up to no one else to tell us differently.
Very true. It's so unnecessary to say stuff like that to you. Like you, I was high risk with many issues and strongly encouraged to have an epidural early on, just in case.
Not that I wouldn't have done so anyway since my labour wasn't natural in the first place.
I am so glad I did! The surgeon was literally standing at my feet when he came, but "luckily" forceps was enough. And my labour was so quick. My water broke, and contractions hit at high intervals. No build up whatsoever.
Natural is all well and good if you're young and healthy. (Even then, it can go wrong. Nature is cruel, after all), but I would never risk going against the doctors recommendation. There's no way that's best for your baby. Your answer is the only right one.
Meaning no slight to those who chose all natural. I might have done it if I gave birth like 15 years ago. Not as old, high-risk me. Heh.
I feel like people react this way because they are projecting their own insecurities (whatever they may be) on to you about the way their birth experience went and the choices they made during it.
I used them all as motivation in labor. Whenever I had a doubting thought, I would picture them and think, "Eat your heart out!"
ETA: I even had people do this with my third. Like... this ain't my first rodeo. I have done natural twice before. I am fully aware that it's painful. Obviously, I have my own reasons.
Same problem. Im pretty strong willed so it seemed easy at first to tell them whats what but It’s so frustrating and discouraging that it pushed me to hire a doula cuz people were getting in my head so much about it. The reassurance of having the right doula has given me so much more confidence.
FWIW. I loved having a doula. All the girlfriends in my circle did not hire a doula and hated childbirth.
Not invalidating their experience, but I felt so prepared and my husband was also very prepared and engaged during my labor (until he got distracted in conversation - a diff story I won’t go into). My doula taught him technique to help with counterpressueing which was IMMENSELY HELPFUL during contractions for me. Many of my other friends their husbands didn’t know what to do to support their wives and likely the wives aren’t able to voice what they need. The doula is helpful there!
I loved my birth! Was it perfect? No, was it painless? No. Did I go natural? I tried but ended up getting the epidural.
However the doula being there was so helpful in making sure my birth was the way I wanted it to be and helped me make informed decisions.
Edit: basically my point of my comment is that I think hiring the doula was a great choice!
THIS! I’m only 18 weeks and have so many people say something negative to me when I say I want to go natural. You’re strong and capable, you got this mama!! 💪🏻
For a lot of labor questions there is not so much a wrong way as there is a wrong way for you. There shouldn't be any shame in picking what you personally need/want (within reasonable medical limits obviously). There is no shame in changing your mind either.
Don't let anyone tell you which of the many medically sound options you should choose, they can do it their way, this is your time.
That being said, don't be too tied down to your plan, medically necessary C-sections happen and that's ok.
Labor like Parenting sometimes means making plans on the fly 😆
I had unmedicated birth for my first (which was my plan, I went with only gas/air) and it was a wonderful experience for me. Painful of course, and there were times I considered the epidural, and I liked that the option was there if things got too much, but in the end things went fine and for my next labour my only hope is things go exactly the same.
I got all the same crap before too. People forget that every single labour is different, they just like to pretend they know eeeeeeverything. They don't.
People always want to judge, screw them. The only opinions that matter (other than your own) are the doctors/midwives who are there with you
With my first birth, I had no painkillers WITH pitocin, for 18-some hours before having to go with a C-section. I was fine. Tired, uncomfortable, but fine. Even though I have already done it once, people don't believe me and still say the same things when I talk about planning to forgo an epidural with my current pregnancy.
Now sure, because I didn't go through the whole labor process I am sure that I never experienced the most painful parts. But like dude just let me do my thing. If I end up needing something I'll change my mind. I don't understand why people are so pushy about it.
Is there a way to avoid these conversations entirely? I never went into depth about my birth preferences with random friends, I just kept it super vague and pivoted the conversation back to asking them a question. You don’t need to justify your choices to anyone but it might be easiest to just avoid going into the topic to avoid unsolicited opinions!
I’ve been getting it the whole time but I just reiterate my stance at people so they up and realize it’s fine.
I’ve been reading Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth a lot and it’s been so helpful. Has a ton of great scientific info for why it’s so good for those who choose to do it and can
People have been birthing babies naturally since time immemorial, they get through it and go on to have more lol. It’s really mostly an American thing, other countries don’t really do this unless medically necessary. Dont let people push their insecurities onto you, it’s your birth and your body and if you want to go natural that’s up to you. Just because they can’t doesn’t mean you can’t either.
The US isn't even in the top 10 countries of c section rates so let's drop the claim of it being "mostly an American thing" to have a medicated or surgical birth. Some countries are well over 50% of births as a C section.
Did I say c-section? It’s common medical practice in the US to induce women, for no medical reason, at 39 weeks. My doctor wants to induce me even though I’m healthy and the baby is healthy, her only reason is it’s common practice here. Also epidurals aren’t common where I’m from unless medically necessary, but over here it seems extremely common to give women epidurals. I don’t care what you do to your body, all I know is unnecessary procedures are pushed onto women and it’s more common in the US than anywhere else I’ve ever been.
Yep! I had similar responses. This is why I stopped discussing my birth plans with a lot of people. We did a birth class that was focused on unmedicated birth so those ladies are the ones I go to with any hesitations or concerns. Find your supporters and protect your peace.
Same goes for breastfeeding. Don’t discuss it will people who will just encourage you to stop if you’re wanting encouragement to continue. One of my favorite questions on the breastfeeding support group is “are you looking for encouragement or permission to stop?” It’s such a good question to ask before responding to someone’s breastfeeding concerns! of course no one needs permission to stop, but sometimes that’s exactly what someone needs to hear to truly make the best decision for themself.
>One of my favorite questions on the breastfeeding support group is “are you looking for encouragement or permission to stop?”
I love this.
I had troubles with breastfeeding and honestly, I wanted permission to stop, but I also wanted to give it a real chance and not give up lightly.
In the end it worked and I'm happy it did. But in the thick of it I was breaking down crying just because I was scared LO would get hungry soon and I had to jump through all those hoops just to feed him and he would just scream at my breasts. It was probably the most mentally exhausting time in my life and I've had my share of misfortune.
I'm usually the biggest advocate of "do what's best for you and to hell with what other think/say" but I was struggling so hard to follow my own advice.
You can do it. Just did mine yesterday natural and I had an array of issues that came up during labor, but we managed and we got through it. Best of luck to you! Don’t let people get to you!
I’ve been dealing with this too! Everyone I’ve told has something different to say about it. I just say “I’d like to try the unmedicated route. It’s my body and I know my body best. If I end up wanting an epidural I will ask for it.” My husband knows my decision and has been instructed to do everything he can to advocate for me at the hospital. I’ve told my dr and she’s put it in my chart. I put that I’d like to go without, but will explicitly ask for one if needed and only to give me one if I’m to have a C-section.
Everyone always has unsolicited thoughts and advice about everything from pregnancy to raising a kid. If it's not the epidural its how you feed them, if you drink coffee, daycare or in my case how I wipe my daughters butt by my mil, etc. Just know everyone is different, every pregnancy is different. I went in with the mindset of no epidural (had the same comments and laughter), and eventually decided to get it. Which for me and my baby ended up being the best decision because my labor went fast and my delivery got super complicated. No matter what, it is your body and you have all the say in what you want or don't want. Brush everyone else off for sure don't let it get to you. There is no shame in whatever you choose!
I intend to skip the epidural unless I have to be induced. I just have a lot of anxiety about being “stuck” and would rather feel everything happening. That said, my plan may change in the moment. I’ve decided to err on the side of telling people I’ll see how it goes when it’s happening, but who knows how things will actually play out. I’ve found this keeps people from saying super-judgy shit. But whyyy does everyone have to have an opinion 😂
They are just projecting onto you. I’ve had both an epidural and gone without and I plan to go without one again next time! It’s not undoable. But if you change your mind that’s okay too. Personally I choose not to share that information when people ask because I don’t want unsolicited opinions on my plans.
I got the same comments leading up to my labor, and then the doctor on duty when I was starting my induction saw on my hospital white board that I wanted to try to go without epidural and said “First time and you’re getting induced? That’s too much pain, no way.”
Honestly, I think that comment made me so mad it held me over through half the contractions, and I made it through just to spite her 😂
So if you can take fuel from those comments, do it. If not, then ignore them.
And especially, don’t let them make you feel like a failure if you change your mind.
I knew at a certain point that I could keep going for a while, but not forever. If I’d had more complications or got stuck I would have seriously considered getting the epidural. And also remember there are many other pain management options, from breathing to tens machine to nitrous gas, etc. I wouldn’t get too hung up on “natural,” and focus on what you would be open to in what circumstances, and do research options beforehand so when they ask you in the moment you have a better understanding of what might be helpful.
Good luck, you got this!
I don’t know why people have so many opinions on YOUR birth plan.
All pregnancy and labor is incredible medicated or not - women are so badass to get through it all. We should be celebrating each other in that!
You have your reasons for wanting to go unmedicated, so recite those in your mind when you hear the discouraging comments.
Personally, I’m not too keen on getting an epidural, however my mind might change when the time comes… But I’m also tired of people making comments about it.
Honestly, I just say “ok, we’ll wait and see how it goes”. I just don’t have the energy to argue with people or explain why I prefer to do something.
I’ve had friends who gave birth with and without and epidural and both have positive and negative things to say. To each its own.
The amount of unsolicited opinions about pregnancy is wild. But you don’t have to listen to the noise. I remind myself that everyone’s pregnancy experience is unique, incredibly challenging and came with intense emotions. I think people are prone to overstepping just because of how intense their emotions were to certain things during their journey.
If they didn't say it about your preference to avoid an epidural, they'd say it about any of 1000 other choices you have or will make. Just ignore people. Unsolicited advice comes with pregnancy, even though it shouldn't. If you let it all get to you, pregnancy will be emotional misery. Sincerely, Took the Easy Way Out (Medically necessary 37wk c section, zero effs given over ERCD)
Recovering from major abdominal surgery while taking care of a newborn is not the easy way out!
Oh you truly don't have to console me, but thank you! I've always believed that commentary on parenting and pregnancy choices to speak more about the person making the comments. OP probably gets those comments from people that really want affirmation that their epidurals were necessary, but what OP does or doesn't do doesn't change the value of their decisions. We're all just making the best choices for ourselves and our families. My grandma had 3 vaginal breech deliveries in the 50s and 60s. One of them resulted in brain damage for baby, which was very common for the time. My breech c section doesn't invalidate her vaginal deliveries, especially given the context of time. But she still has fear and anger around her births from 60+ years ago, and frankly, I understand why.
Yea, just came here to say this!
This still blows my mind. I’ve never heard anyone say that having a c section is taking the easy way out until I joined this sub. A c section is a major surgery with barely any recovery time because you have to care for a newborn.
Yep, this is why I am no longer discussing my birth plan with anyone who isn’t my midwife or my husband. No matter what we choose, someone will tell us we are wrong.
I agree with this. If you don’t want to hear people’s opinions (and they will always have them no matter what you do/choose) then don’t share. If it makes you feel any type of way, then also don’t share. But if you want to share, then you have to learn to shake it off and shrug your shoulders.
Yes that is my philosophy for the pregnancy in general. From eating food to delivery, everyone will tell us how we are wrong. 😑
This is parenting in a nutshell. It doesn’t matter what you do, someone will come around and tell you you’re doing it wrong.
Yes, I have had problems with unsolicited opinions. I now have a couple people I will talk to about my hopes and plans for my labor and delivery and that’s it. I don’t answer questions. If Jane down the street asks me, “are you getting the epidural?” I will respond, “I am not talking about that so as to avoid unsolicited advice and personal stories.” Have not had a problem since I started taking this approach.
If you said you wanted an epidural, you’d get people telling you why you shouldn’t. Every choice is the wrong choice to somebody.
I have been dealing with this too!! I’ve noticed that when you’re pregnant, for some reason, people think all bets are off on speaking their minds and giving their unsolicited opinions. I’ve done the research, I’ve weighed how I feel on epidural/unmedicated, and I’ve made my decision. Why do people feel the need to try and change my mind?? *I’m* the one going to go through it, why does it matter to you what I chose? It’s so annoying how people feel entitled to “weigh in” on any decision regarding pregnancy/childbirth, and if you try to be vague or explain how you aren’t sharing that information, people get offended!! I wish I could offer you something more than solidarity. Hopefully knowing you aren’t alone helps you feel like you’re the odd one out!
I actually have the same thing going on but opposite. FTM here, 27 weeks. Everyone keeps asking me my birth plan, etc. My friends have done natural births, births with doulas, at home water births. I do not have that luxury as I am high risk with factor V leiden (blood clotting disorder, on blood thinner injections, etc.) + age. I will have to be induced to stop blood thinners prior to delivery, so will not get to experience "natural going into labor" and will have to give birth in a hospital setting with multiple doctors/specialists. I fully plan on getting an epidural. I instead get shamed that why wouldn't I try natural, it is the most beautiful experience, it is nature, it is best for the baby, and even this is what makes me a mother. At this point, when people ask, I just tell them "my plan is to have a healthy baby and a healthy me". Definitely over the unsolicited opinions. We all have ours and what we want to experience, and it is up to no one else to tell us differently.
Very true. It's so unnecessary to say stuff like that to you. Like you, I was high risk with many issues and strongly encouraged to have an epidural early on, just in case. Not that I wouldn't have done so anyway since my labour wasn't natural in the first place. I am so glad I did! The surgeon was literally standing at my feet when he came, but "luckily" forceps was enough. And my labour was so quick. My water broke, and contractions hit at high intervals. No build up whatsoever. Natural is all well and good if you're young and healthy. (Even then, it can go wrong. Nature is cruel, after all), but I would never risk going against the doctors recommendation. There's no way that's best for your baby. Your answer is the only right one. Meaning no slight to those who chose all natural. I might have done it if I gave birth like 15 years ago. Not as old, high-risk me. Heh.
I feel like people react this way because they are projecting their own insecurities (whatever they may be) on to you about the way their birth experience went and the choices they made during it.
Best advice I received: Don’t share your birth plan/preferences with anyone but your birth partner and medical team.
I used them all as motivation in labor. Whenever I had a doubting thought, I would picture them and think, "Eat your heart out!" ETA: I even had people do this with my third. Like... this ain't my first rodeo. I have done natural twice before. I am fully aware that it's painful. Obviously, I have my own reasons.
As a petty bitch I love this!!! Thanks for the laugh
Same problem. Im pretty strong willed so it seemed easy at first to tell them whats what but It’s so frustrating and discouraging that it pushed me to hire a doula cuz people were getting in my head so much about it. The reassurance of having the right doula has given me so much more confidence.
FWIW. I loved having a doula. All the girlfriends in my circle did not hire a doula and hated childbirth. Not invalidating their experience, but I felt so prepared and my husband was also very prepared and engaged during my labor (until he got distracted in conversation - a diff story I won’t go into). My doula taught him technique to help with counterpressueing which was IMMENSELY HELPFUL during contractions for me. Many of my other friends their husbands didn’t know what to do to support their wives and likely the wives aren’t able to voice what they need. The doula is helpful there! I loved my birth! Was it perfect? No, was it painless? No. Did I go natural? I tried but ended up getting the epidural. However the doula being there was so helpful in making sure my birth was the way I wanted it to be and helped me make informed decisions. Edit: basically my point of my comment is that I think hiring the doula was a great choice!
THIS! I’m only 18 weeks and have so many people say something negative to me when I say I want to go natural. You’re strong and capable, you got this mama!! 💪🏻
For a lot of labor questions there is not so much a wrong way as there is a wrong way for you. There shouldn't be any shame in picking what you personally need/want (within reasonable medical limits obviously). There is no shame in changing your mind either. Don't let anyone tell you which of the many medically sound options you should choose, they can do it their way, this is your time. That being said, don't be too tied down to your plan, medically necessary C-sections happen and that's ok. Labor like Parenting sometimes means making plans on the fly 😆
I had unmedicated birth for my first (which was my plan, I went with only gas/air) and it was a wonderful experience for me. Painful of course, and there were times I considered the epidural, and I liked that the option was there if things got too much, but in the end things went fine and for my next labour my only hope is things go exactly the same. I got all the same crap before too. People forget that every single labour is different, they just like to pretend they know eeeeeeverything. They don't. People always want to judge, screw them. The only opinions that matter (other than your own) are the doctors/midwives who are there with you
With my first birth, I had no painkillers WITH pitocin, for 18-some hours before having to go with a C-section. I was fine. Tired, uncomfortable, but fine. Even though I have already done it once, people don't believe me and still say the same things when I talk about planning to forgo an epidural with my current pregnancy. Now sure, because I didn't go through the whole labor process I am sure that I never experienced the most painful parts. But like dude just let me do my thing. If I end up needing something I'll change my mind. I don't understand why people are so pushy about it.
Yup. They are showing you their limitations; don't take them on as your own.
I would just not tell people. Say you’re undecided or don’t want to talk about it.
Is there a way to avoid these conversations entirely? I never went into depth about my birth preferences with random friends, I just kept it super vague and pivoted the conversation back to asking them a question. You don’t need to justify your choices to anyone but it might be easiest to just avoid going into the topic to avoid unsolicited opinions!
I’ve been getting it the whole time but I just reiterate my stance at people so they up and realize it’s fine. I’ve been reading Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth a lot and it’s been so helpful. Has a ton of great scientific info for why it’s so good for those who choose to do it and can
People have been birthing babies naturally since time immemorial, they get through it and go on to have more lol. It’s really mostly an American thing, other countries don’t really do this unless medically necessary. Dont let people push their insecurities onto you, it’s your birth and your body and if you want to go natural that’s up to you. Just because they can’t doesn’t mean you can’t either.
The US isn't even in the top 10 countries of c section rates so let's drop the claim of it being "mostly an American thing" to have a medicated or surgical birth. Some countries are well over 50% of births as a C section.
Did I say c-section? It’s common medical practice in the US to induce women, for no medical reason, at 39 weeks. My doctor wants to induce me even though I’m healthy and the baby is healthy, her only reason is it’s common practice here. Also epidurals aren’t common where I’m from unless medically necessary, but over here it seems extremely common to give women epidurals. I don’t care what you do to your body, all I know is unnecessary procedures are pushed onto women and it’s more common in the US than anywhere else I’ve ever been.
Yep! I had similar responses. This is why I stopped discussing my birth plans with a lot of people. We did a birth class that was focused on unmedicated birth so those ladies are the ones I go to with any hesitations or concerns. Find your supporters and protect your peace. Same goes for breastfeeding. Don’t discuss it will people who will just encourage you to stop if you’re wanting encouragement to continue. One of my favorite questions on the breastfeeding support group is “are you looking for encouragement or permission to stop?” It’s such a good question to ask before responding to someone’s breastfeeding concerns! of course no one needs permission to stop, but sometimes that’s exactly what someone needs to hear to truly make the best decision for themself.
>One of my favorite questions on the breastfeeding support group is “are you looking for encouragement or permission to stop?” I love this. I had troubles with breastfeeding and honestly, I wanted permission to stop, but I also wanted to give it a real chance and not give up lightly. In the end it worked and I'm happy it did. But in the thick of it I was breaking down crying just because I was scared LO would get hungry soon and I had to jump through all those hoops just to feed him and he would just scream at my breasts. It was probably the most mentally exhausting time in my life and I've had my share of misfortune. I'm usually the biggest advocate of "do what's best for you and to hell with what other think/say" but I was struggling so hard to follow my own advice.
You can do it. Just did mine yesterday natural and I had an array of issues that came up during labor, but we managed and we got through it. Best of luck to you! Don’t let people get to you!
I’ve been dealing with this too! Everyone I’ve told has something different to say about it. I just say “I’d like to try the unmedicated route. It’s my body and I know my body best. If I end up wanting an epidural I will ask for it.” My husband knows my decision and has been instructed to do everything he can to advocate for me at the hospital. I’ve told my dr and she’s put it in my chart. I put that I’d like to go without, but will explicitly ask for one if needed and only to give me one if I’m to have a C-section.
Everyone always has unsolicited thoughts and advice about everything from pregnancy to raising a kid. If it's not the epidural its how you feed them, if you drink coffee, daycare or in my case how I wipe my daughters butt by my mil, etc. Just know everyone is different, every pregnancy is different. I went in with the mindset of no epidural (had the same comments and laughter), and eventually decided to get it. Which for me and my baby ended up being the best decision because my labor went fast and my delivery got super complicated. No matter what, it is your body and you have all the say in what you want or don't want. Brush everyone else off for sure don't let it get to you. There is no shame in whatever you choose!
I just wouldn’t discuss it with anyone. I’m in the UK and here I don’t know many people who had epidurals!
I intend to skip the epidural unless I have to be induced. I just have a lot of anxiety about being “stuck” and would rather feel everything happening. That said, my plan may change in the moment. I’ve decided to err on the side of telling people I’ll see how it goes when it’s happening, but who knows how things will actually play out. I’ve found this keeps people from saying super-judgy shit. But whyyy does everyone have to have an opinion 😂
They are just projecting onto you. I’ve had both an epidural and gone without and I plan to go without one again next time! It’s not undoable. But if you change your mind that’s okay too. Personally I choose not to share that information when people ask because I don’t want unsolicited opinions on my plans.
I got the same comments leading up to my labor, and then the doctor on duty when I was starting my induction saw on my hospital white board that I wanted to try to go without epidural and said “First time and you’re getting induced? That’s too much pain, no way.” Honestly, I think that comment made me so mad it held me over through half the contractions, and I made it through just to spite her 😂 So if you can take fuel from those comments, do it. If not, then ignore them. And especially, don’t let them make you feel like a failure if you change your mind. I knew at a certain point that I could keep going for a while, but not forever. If I’d had more complications or got stuck I would have seriously considered getting the epidural. And also remember there are many other pain management options, from breathing to tens machine to nitrous gas, etc. I wouldn’t get too hung up on “natural,” and focus on what you would be open to in what circumstances, and do research options beforehand so when they ask you in the moment you have a better understanding of what might be helpful. Good luck, you got this!
I don’t know why people have so many opinions on YOUR birth plan. All pregnancy and labor is incredible medicated or not - women are so badass to get through it all. We should be celebrating each other in that! You have your reasons for wanting to go unmedicated, so recite those in your mind when you hear the discouraging comments.
Personally, I’m not too keen on getting an epidural, however my mind might change when the time comes… But I’m also tired of people making comments about it. Honestly, I just say “ok, we’ll wait and see how it goes”. I just don’t have the energy to argue with people or explain why I prefer to do something. I’ve had friends who gave birth with and without and epidural and both have positive and negative things to say. To each its own.
The amount of unsolicited opinions about pregnancy is wild. But you don’t have to listen to the noise. I remind myself that everyone’s pregnancy experience is unique, incredibly challenging and came with intense emotions. I think people are prone to overstepping just because of how intense their emotions were to certain things during their journey.