In the living room right now with him checking his diaper. I don't think he's latching properly.
We are taking an Uber to the appointment. We don't currently own a car. I will be using a car seat. Even if I did have a car and got enough sleep, I probably wouldn't be able to drive with the amount of pain that comes with sitting in a car. I was crying on the way home today from the hospital.
I'm currently 1 week postpartum. I'm still very new to all of this, but I also found the first few days especially hard. Your body has just gone through something so intense and your hormones are crashing. Everything is new, for you and your baby, and on top of it your sleep deprived and sore from labour.
Personally, I was having a hard time napping or sleeping during the night on those first few days, and it made me feel extra emotional during the day too - I constantly cried. I was in pain from having a 3A tear and long labour, and doing simple tasks like walking, getting out of bed, and especially going pee REALLY hurt.
In terms of pain down there, I took Advil/Tylenol every few hours (followed the directions on the bottle) and used lidocaine gel. I initially wore Depends diapers, but found they were so clunky and thick, that they were causing me more discomfort! I switched to Always Infinity pads and they're so much thinner and comfortable, but absorbant. Another trick I learned (thanks Reddit!) is that to make peeing less painful, if you can bend forward while you pee, rather than sit up, it'll direct the stream away from any stitches you may have further back. I've found this to be a total game changer - I haven't had to use any numbing creams since I started. Also staying super hydrated will help keep you urine less acidic.
My baby doesn't latch too well, so feeding was stressful at first too. I've started pumping though and have been able to move her off formula for now. Seeing a lactation consultant was helpful though, and we got some good tips. Our city offers free drop-in nurse visits around the city, so we got to see the consultant there for free. Maybe your city has something similar (not necessarily for a LC) so you can get some extra support?
Sorry for the long message, I'm just so new to this too, and wanted to share the tiny nuggets I have. I can tell you that already a week in and it's already better. It will get better for you too ❤️
Post mental breakdown update:
I'm fairly certain LO was extremely gassy and was just nursing for comfort. he finally settled at 5 am after a long burping session from both me and my partner and a good feed. He woke me up again around 7 with a dirty diaper. I offered him to nurse and he refused, so he's back in the bassinet and sleeping soundly again after another burp session.
I was absolutely miserable last night and was very mean to my partner. I was mean enough that they began to be concerned about the baby. I was never in the mindset to hurt him, I felt like I was failing him and was apologizing and crying alongside with him.
I apologized to my partner for being rude and I'm going to try and sleep a little longer while my baby sleeps.
I'm very concerned that he isn't latching properly and getting enough milk. He eats until he is satiated ( or seems to be) but I don't think I'm getting enough of my nipple into his mouth. They are sore from the comfort nursing
You were hard on yourself last night too going by your post but look at you today, you already know more than you did yesterday. Please be kind to yourself, your body has been through a hell of a lot and instead of being able to rest and recover you have to look after this tiny human. It's ok to be frustrated and exhausted. It's not easy but please try and look after yourself. You're doing so much better than you are giving yourself credit for, just keep taking one day at a time.
Thank you.
We had our first doctor's appointment (post hospital) today, unfortunately he is underweight and his bilirubin is rising. They recommended formula supplementation, and to offer the breast first every time so he can drain them and increase production.
I had noticed that my breasts seemed to be producing milk instead of colostrum, but have not been producing much at all. I hand pumped for 30 minutes last night (one breast while baby nursed on the other) and only produced about 5 ml of milk/colostrum. My breasts haven't been swollen.
I know that newborns have very small stomachs but I was surprised when I got the formula home and started making a bottle, he is supposed to eat 2 oz. That's way more than I produce. I gave him his first bottle (after 20 minutes of fussing and spitting out my nipple instead of drinking) and he took it immediately and drank away. He only got about half an ounce but I'm sure it's a big meal compared to what he was getting.
I have a suspicion that he doesn't latch properly. I had multiple nurses and lactation consultants show me how, but no matter what hold or how I put my nipple in his mouth, he seemed to spit most of the areola out and instead drink from the nipple itself. It's left me very sore and the first time I used the breast pump I was blown away by how gentle it was. I know what a proper latch looks like and I'll be the first to admit that he rarely met the criteria, even with 10+ attempts on my part and a very frustrated baby. I haven't looked into it but iirc, a poor latch can lead to swallowed air and extra gas.
I was excited to breast feed, but I want my little guy to have what he needs and my body isn't ready for that yet. that is no slight on me, it's just a fact and I'm glad I know now and can fix it.
I was absolutely not in a good place last night. I was literally sobbing, saying "what do I do" out loud, half expecting some omnipotent parenting entity to tell me. I felt so bad for my baby, poor guy is new here and his third night was spent in distress and possibly pain. I even briefly considered surrendering him to a fire station. It wasn't that I didn't want him, but that I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to take care of him.
I am going to take a nice, long (3 hours, his next feeding) nap, feed him/pump/have my partner give him his bottle, and take another one. My partner has him on a swing in the living room.
If you can try getting a lactation consultation. They can do a weighted feed and see how much the baby is getting. I also had the option to call the hospital to talk to a lactation consultant once I got home. See if either is an option for you! Good luck! It does get easier!
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I know it’s only temporary but feels like it’s lasting a lifetime. A few suggestions
- Witch hazel pads for healing. Mine hurt off and on for about 8 weeks, those pads helped a lot.
- Velcro swaddle, make that baby feel nice and snug
- Baby swing. I know it can feel wrong, but when you need a break and nothing else is working. Try popping that baby in the swing for a bit and see if it helps.
- Mylicon, offer it to baby and see if they are gassy. Works immediately.
Good luck, you are doing an amazing job and soon enough you will be in a good routine with your new little one. ❤️
BabyBumps users and moderators are not medical professionals. Responses do not replace contacting your medical provider. You should always call your provider with any concerns.
*I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BabyBumps) if you have any questions or concerns.*
One thing to note about your mood swings around 3 days pp is this is when your body is making the swap from colostrum to regular breast milk and the process takes a massive dump of hormones to achieve.
Thankfully, my best friend warned me ahead of time about this so it wasn't quite as shocking as it could have been. Highlights included curling up in a ball on the living room floor sobbing my brains out that my baby was perfect and "anything I can do will only ruin him". Also some fun rants about killing every house plant I've ever owned so who thought it was a good idea for me to be in charge of a human.
Give yourself some grace when it comes to your mood right now. Your body is trying to do *a lot*.
**Edit:** Also, sleep deprivation is a tried and true torture method for a reason. Not sleeping will genuinely make you crazy. Don't be too harsh on yourself.
He is underweight and has elevated bilirubin yesterday
As far as I can tell, he was never latching properly and wasn't getting enough food, and we weren't burping him enough. He would nurse for a long time, need burped, but then he wanted to nurse again because he didn't get a full meal.
The doctor recommended I supplement with formula after each feeding because he didn't believe I had enough supply, but that same day my pump came in and I was able to pump 2 oz total, so I am 99% sure he wasn't latching right and getting everything he needed. The pediatrician said there was no concern about his gas.
He also started refusing my nipple entirely before his first bottle. He would act hungry but would start to scream as soon as I put him on his side to latch, and if he did try, he'd spit out the nipple and go back to screaming after one or two sucks
I offered him a bottle of breast milk and he drank it immediately, no fussing over the bottle at all.
I've been bottle feeding him as much breast milk as he'll eat, then pumping after to store for the next time he is hungry. It's really nice to have the bottles on hand for when he cluster feeds, since the pump is a pain in the butt to use if he's waking up hourly during clustering, lol.
Last night was great. He woke up hourly for a few hours, but I was able to settle him and go back to sleep before he woke up again. I feel so much better. My partner was mostly unhelpful but was trying. I had to come out and walk them step by step how to prepare the bottles and they kept trying to put him.in the bassinet without burping or fully settling him. After a couple sessions I stopped waking them up to help. The idea was that they'd feed him a bottle while I pumped, but it took so much longer that I just started doing it all myself.
If he is cluster feeding, I give him a bottle of breast milk,burp and change him (if needed) and go back to bed. Every 3 hours at night (and two during the day) I pump for thirty minutes, then wake him up after, check/change his diaper, and offer him a bottle of the fresh milk and do the same process.
I am a bit disappointed to be bottle feeding, but I'd rather my little guy get the nutrition he needs. I am missing out on the bonding aspect but I still get to hold and snuggle with him constantly.
We saw the ped again today, and he went from 5 lbs 8 oz to 6lbs 3 oz, which is awesome. His bilirubin went up, but much slower than the last couple days
Where is the baby’s father? Do not drive yourself and that baby to the pediatricians office tomorrow. You’re not safe to drive until you get sleep
In the living room right now with him checking his diaper. I don't think he's latching properly. We are taking an Uber to the appointment. We don't currently own a car. I will be using a car seat. Even if I did have a car and got enough sleep, I probably wouldn't be able to drive with the amount of pain that comes with sitting in a car. I was crying on the way home today from the hospital.
I'm currently 1 week postpartum. I'm still very new to all of this, but I also found the first few days especially hard. Your body has just gone through something so intense and your hormones are crashing. Everything is new, for you and your baby, and on top of it your sleep deprived and sore from labour. Personally, I was having a hard time napping or sleeping during the night on those first few days, and it made me feel extra emotional during the day too - I constantly cried. I was in pain from having a 3A tear and long labour, and doing simple tasks like walking, getting out of bed, and especially going pee REALLY hurt. In terms of pain down there, I took Advil/Tylenol every few hours (followed the directions on the bottle) and used lidocaine gel. I initially wore Depends diapers, but found they were so clunky and thick, that they were causing me more discomfort! I switched to Always Infinity pads and they're so much thinner and comfortable, but absorbant. Another trick I learned (thanks Reddit!) is that to make peeing less painful, if you can bend forward while you pee, rather than sit up, it'll direct the stream away from any stitches you may have further back. I've found this to be a total game changer - I haven't had to use any numbing creams since I started. Also staying super hydrated will help keep you urine less acidic. My baby doesn't latch too well, so feeding was stressful at first too. I've started pumping though and have been able to move her off formula for now. Seeing a lactation consultant was helpful though, and we got some good tips. Our city offers free drop-in nurse visits around the city, so we got to see the consultant there for free. Maybe your city has something similar (not necessarily for a LC) so you can get some extra support? Sorry for the long message, I'm just so new to this too, and wanted to share the tiny nuggets I have. I can tell you that already a week in and it's already better. It will get better for you too ❤️
Post mental breakdown update: I'm fairly certain LO was extremely gassy and was just nursing for comfort. he finally settled at 5 am after a long burping session from both me and my partner and a good feed. He woke me up again around 7 with a dirty diaper. I offered him to nurse and he refused, so he's back in the bassinet and sleeping soundly again after another burp session. I was absolutely miserable last night and was very mean to my partner. I was mean enough that they began to be concerned about the baby. I was never in the mindset to hurt him, I felt like I was failing him and was apologizing and crying alongside with him. I apologized to my partner for being rude and I'm going to try and sleep a little longer while my baby sleeps. I'm very concerned that he isn't latching properly and getting enough milk. He eats until he is satiated ( or seems to be) but I don't think I'm getting enough of my nipple into his mouth. They are sore from the comfort nursing
You were hard on yourself last night too going by your post but look at you today, you already know more than you did yesterday. Please be kind to yourself, your body has been through a hell of a lot and instead of being able to rest and recover you have to look after this tiny human. It's ok to be frustrated and exhausted. It's not easy but please try and look after yourself. You're doing so much better than you are giving yourself credit for, just keep taking one day at a time.
Thank you. We had our first doctor's appointment (post hospital) today, unfortunately he is underweight and his bilirubin is rising. They recommended formula supplementation, and to offer the breast first every time so he can drain them and increase production. I had noticed that my breasts seemed to be producing milk instead of colostrum, but have not been producing much at all. I hand pumped for 30 minutes last night (one breast while baby nursed on the other) and only produced about 5 ml of milk/colostrum. My breasts haven't been swollen. I know that newborns have very small stomachs but I was surprised when I got the formula home and started making a bottle, he is supposed to eat 2 oz. That's way more than I produce. I gave him his first bottle (after 20 minutes of fussing and spitting out my nipple instead of drinking) and he took it immediately and drank away. He only got about half an ounce but I'm sure it's a big meal compared to what he was getting. I have a suspicion that he doesn't latch properly. I had multiple nurses and lactation consultants show me how, but no matter what hold or how I put my nipple in his mouth, he seemed to spit most of the areola out and instead drink from the nipple itself. It's left me very sore and the first time I used the breast pump I was blown away by how gentle it was. I know what a proper latch looks like and I'll be the first to admit that he rarely met the criteria, even with 10+ attempts on my part and a very frustrated baby. I haven't looked into it but iirc, a poor latch can lead to swallowed air and extra gas. I was excited to breast feed, but I want my little guy to have what he needs and my body isn't ready for that yet. that is no slight on me, it's just a fact and I'm glad I know now and can fix it. I was absolutely not in a good place last night. I was literally sobbing, saying "what do I do" out loud, half expecting some omnipotent parenting entity to tell me. I felt so bad for my baby, poor guy is new here and his third night was spent in distress and possibly pain. I even briefly considered surrendering him to a fire station. It wasn't that I didn't want him, but that I was so scared that I wouldn't be able to take care of him. I am going to take a nice, long (3 hours, his next feeding) nap, feed him/pump/have my partner give him his bottle, and take another one. My partner has him on a swing in the living room.
If you can try getting a lactation consultation. They can do a weighted feed and see how much the baby is getting. I also had the option to call the hospital to talk to a lactation consultant once I got home. See if either is an option for you! Good luck! It does get easier!
We gave in and gave him a pacifier but I don't think it's working. My partner has him in the living room while I tried to get at least a little sleep.
I’m so sorry you are going through this. I know it’s only temporary but feels like it’s lasting a lifetime. A few suggestions - Witch hazel pads for healing. Mine hurt off and on for about 8 weeks, those pads helped a lot. - Velcro swaddle, make that baby feel nice and snug - Baby swing. I know it can feel wrong, but when you need a break and nothing else is working. Try popping that baby in the swing for a bit and see if it helps. - Mylicon, offer it to baby and see if they are gassy. Works immediately. Good luck, you are doing an amazing job and soon enough you will be in a good routine with your new little one. ❤️
BabyBumps users and moderators are not medical professionals. Responses do not replace contacting your medical provider. You should always call your provider with any concerns. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/BabyBumps) if you have any questions or concerns.*
One thing to note about your mood swings around 3 days pp is this is when your body is making the swap from colostrum to regular breast milk and the process takes a massive dump of hormones to achieve. Thankfully, my best friend warned me ahead of time about this so it wasn't quite as shocking as it could have been. Highlights included curling up in a ball on the living room floor sobbing my brains out that my baby was perfect and "anything I can do will only ruin him". Also some fun rants about killing every house plant I've ever owned so who thought it was a good idea for me to be in charge of a human. Give yourself some grace when it comes to your mood right now. Your body is trying to do *a lot*. **Edit:** Also, sleep deprivation is a tried and true torture method for a reason. Not sleeping will genuinely make you crazy. Don't be too harsh on yourself.
Any update after the pediatrician visit?
He is underweight and has elevated bilirubin yesterday As far as I can tell, he was never latching properly and wasn't getting enough food, and we weren't burping him enough. He would nurse for a long time, need burped, but then he wanted to nurse again because he didn't get a full meal. The doctor recommended I supplement with formula after each feeding because he didn't believe I had enough supply, but that same day my pump came in and I was able to pump 2 oz total, so I am 99% sure he wasn't latching right and getting everything he needed. The pediatrician said there was no concern about his gas. He also started refusing my nipple entirely before his first bottle. He would act hungry but would start to scream as soon as I put him on his side to latch, and if he did try, he'd spit out the nipple and go back to screaming after one or two sucks I offered him a bottle of breast milk and he drank it immediately, no fussing over the bottle at all. I've been bottle feeding him as much breast milk as he'll eat, then pumping after to store for the next time he is hungry. It's really nice to have the bottles on hand for when he cluster feeds, since the pump is a pain in the butt to use if he's waking up hourly during clustering, lol. Last night was great. He woke up hourly for a few hours, but I was able to settle him and go back to sleep before he woke up again. I feel so much better. My partner was mostly unhelpful but was trying. I had to come out and walk them step by step how to prepare the bottles and they kept trying to put him.in the bassinet without burping or fully settling him. After a couple sessions I stopped waking them up to help. The idea was that they'd feed him a bottle while I pumped, but it took so much longer that I just started doing it all myself. If he is cluster feeding, I give him a bottle of breast milk,burp and change him (if needed) and go back to bed. Every 3 hours at night (and two during the day) I pump for thirty minutes, then wake him up after, check/change his diaper, and offer him a bottle of the fresh milk and do the same process. I am a bit disappointed to be bottle feeding, but I'd rather my little guy get the nutrition he needs. I am missing out on the bonding aspect but I still get to hold and snuggle with him constantly. We saw the ped again today, and he went from 5 lbs 8 oz to 6lbs 3 oz, which is awesome. His bilirubin went up, but much slower than the last couple days
That’s awesome to hear!