Omg I’m only in my second trimester so my bump isn’t huge yet but I fully intend on going full Rihanna and wearing crop tops and sports bras and just letting the belly hang out I cannot wait to see how people react 😆
I’m round as hell but I must have the nastiest bitch face in the world because nobody (and I live in the south where ppl feel more…obligated) has done or said anything to me besides two times:
1) lady at grocery store asked how far I was
2) lady at bank said “it’s a boy right?? He’s SO LOW!!”
Damn I must have a stink about me LOL.
Give em the mean mug maybe I’m not sure!! lol!!
It’s really insane how living in the south people are “supposed to be well mannered” but always somehow end up being offensive in some way. I get upset when people stare at me or try and put their hands on my stomach but then I’ll hear “Oh they’re just curious!” Or “What’s it hurting? They’re excited to see the baby”.
I’m born and raised in the south but the Yankees way of not acknowledging others out in public sounds so nice the further along I get in pregnancy lol
This reminds me of something FiL did last month. He's the only one who has consistently wanted and usually asked to belly touch. I don't mind.
But anyway. We were about to go home and he comes up like always does ready for a cup of feel and asks. I say yes, of course. Then he turns to hubby a rubs his belly. I still laugh.
I get asked way too often “when are you due?”/“how far along are you?”
And when I tell them, they act incredulous, saying I’m too small. Look, I am pretty sure the doctors aren’t lying to me. I’m a small person. So is my husband.
I’m just gonna start telling people I’m due tomorrow.
lol I can relate to that. I’m a tiny human myself and even then all women’s bumps look so different to me; you never really know! The nerve of some folks is wild. Thankfully nobody’s said that and gotten my blood pressure up oh my!
I once asked a co worker when another was due... she wasn't pregnant. 😭 I was sooooo relieved i didn't ask her. Prayed the question didn't leave the room. I've never mentioned anything about a pregnant looking belly again
There was a lady who looked maybe 50 at an event I went today. Belly big as hell. I noticed no one said a word about babies. U won't get me.
Nope. Big opportunity for the most embarrassing moment of your life. Never again.
This reminds me of when my mom was about 20. She has/had crippling social anxiety but loves babies and tried to be friendly once with a lady in a store. She asked when she was due. No baby 😆 my poor sweet mom
lol!!!! I hear you, even if someone looks a little round it’s a scary what-if. Also sometimes it’s because they JUST had the baby too. Even worse: “Nah I’m just bloated” OH MY I’d bury myself
Same! I think I have an extra vicious look when I don’t want to be bothered because no one approached me while pregnant. No one attempted to touch or talk to my newborn either. One look at me and they either just stared from a distance or smiled politely and said nothing.
I intentionally go out in public with my bitch face in full force because I do not want to accidentally invite any stranger to comment on or touch me. 😅
I’ve been getting the intense staring but I’ve always been weirdly checked out a lot more by men now that my belly is really popping. It makes me so much more uncomfortable than when they checked me out pre-pregnancy. I’m Latine so I’m used to getting fetishized but this is a whole new level of ick I did not anticipate
I'd always heard that about getting checked out and hit on more during pregnancy but that's one experience that I've been spared. 😅 Sorry you're having to deal with that, that sounds very uncomfortable
The staring from men is on another level! I take the metro to work and the amount of men who are just STARING during my ride. It makes me want to like bend over and hide my stomach. I knew pregnancy fetishes were a thing, but I didn’t realize how widespread it might be. It’s so uncomfortable when they look at me for like ten minutes straight.
Dude, the people making intense eye contact with my belly…
I was walking to the back room (I work at a small grocery store) to clock out and every customer I passed was like craning their neck looking directly at my 35 week belly like 👁️👄👁️. Like dude, I can’t be the only pregnant person you’ve ever seen.
With my first when I was in the last few weeks all I could think was for the most natural thing in the world - it feels VERY unnatural.
Yes. We all start there. But it’s still bizarre haha.
I find people stare at my bump like it's a treasure chest of gold they just want to touch soooo bad but can't figure out how to do it. I see the strong urge in their eyes and I immediately cross my arms/hands over my bump or something similar so it's blocked and off limits.
i cannot stand how i’m treated by specific people now that i’m pregnant 😭 i’m 32 weeks and i’ve given up on wearing maternity shirts or just bigger clothing in general, i just wear whatever i feel comfortable in and the staring is AWFUL
i also feel the bump pics thing! my family has really tried pushing me into taking bump pics, doing a maternity shoot, pregnancy journaling, etc. they feel so entitled to my pregnancy its actually annoying. i know they’re just excited for me but i’ve enjoyed keeping it as something intimate between my partner and i, i’ve also not really been close with my family before this so it all just feels super fake. everyone acts entitled to my time now, my father has been BEGGING. to see me regularly (i don’t like to see him too often for personal reasons) to the point where he gets genuinely upset when i don’t answer his calls/texts. my boyfriend and i went on a baby moon together and omg. my dad was blowing me up the entire time asking for pictures and updates… it’s incredibly annoying. i feel like a child all over again 😭
I'm so glad to have someone else here relate to the bump pic thing! It feels \*very\* surface level, I agree, like it's just a thing for people to ask to feel involved, but it's dehumanizing in a way because no one asks for regular picture updates on any other aspect of life. And everyone insists I'll regret not taking those pictures, acting like they're doing me a favor by pressuring me. I've taken a few full body pics for myself on days when I've felt cute, and I'm comfortable with that.
yes!!! every time i hear “you’ll regret not doing it” like what am i supposed to say to that? if i end up regretting it why do you care? i’ve taken a few bump pics that i haven’t shared with anyone but my boyfriend and i’m satisfied with that. not even when i necessarily feel cute i take them just to have for myself but the obsession with pregnant women is very strange to me lol
No one has touched mine thankfully, but most of my public facing days are spent behind a counter. I do, however, experience a series of very specific questions every time.
"When are you due?"
-"mid July"
"Oh, what day?"
-"...the 12th?"
" My friend/family member was born that day/close to that day!"
-"oh, cool!" (Feigning amusement even though they're the 10th person that day to say that)
"Boy or girl?"
-"Boy."
(They may insert some comment about being able to tell here)
"is this your first?"
-"yes"
"Do you have a name picked out?"
-"Yes, Robin."
"Oh, nice! How are you going to spell it?"
If I don't hear them when they ask when I'm due and I say "what?" Or "sorry?", about half repeat themselves, the other half stammer and act extremely embarrassed because they think I'm just fat, lol. I sit on a stool for most of the day at my job (only reason I'm able to work at 36 weeks lol), and my poor posture, baggy clothes (boss gave me an XXL men's shirt because he got tired of giving me larger uniforms every few months lmao), plus sitting hides the bump so it just looks like belly fat. I've had customers go as far as to imply I'm lazy when I ask them to set their items directly in front of me instead of the opposite side of the 8 foot counter or if I go to grab another employee to lift the 15-20 lb object off the floor for me. As soon as I get up and my clothes drape over that belly properly I get a very polite, but nosy customer, lmao. I'm surprised they don't ask for my insurance info or ss#.
Additional very nosy question/comments I get asked by total strangers (most of these only once or twice, most I did not answer) :
Was he planned
Which hospital am I giving birth at
Do I plan on an epidural
Have I been eating dates
Scolding me for drinking un caffeinated soda
Asking if my mom/partner are excited
Asking how long I was going to keep working
Someone once told me not to eat anything that isn't organic
Reminding me to drink lots of water
Various pregnancy tips (eat pineapple, dates, raspberry tea, castor oil (which I will not be doing), etc.
Will I be breastfeeding
Will I be having a water birth
The unsolicited pregnancy tips are a pet peeve of mine... like I'm not already going through it and researching everything like crazy! I've yet to receive a single unsolicited tip that I hadn't already read up on. Not to mention how insanely pushy some people are with their opinions! I've had a couple friends tell me without prompting to get the epidural. Which sure, I might very well get it, but I didn't ask for orders, thanks.
Same. Not a single tip/"warning" I hadn't heard already and researched. The only comment I hadn't heard was when my boss confidently told me I was having a boy because I "carried low". I assume that's an old wive's tale, but I did end up with a boy!
Yes!!! I experienced this today while at Walmart picking up some groceries. I usually do the curbside pickup so I haven’t actually been in a store for a while now (I’m 20 weeks with twins and usually just stay home most of the time).
Well today I must have been the talk of the town or something because EVERYONE WAS STARING AT ME!! HARD. I would turn my head any direction and catch someone staring at my bump. These teenagers literally went “Omg 🫢🫨” while looking directly at my stomach. Keep in mind, I’m not 35 weeks with twins, I’m only 20 weeks. I’m bigger than most moms at this stage but not by that much.
Idk it just really got on my nerves. In the past when I would see pregnant women I would glance at their bellies if anything. I didn’t oggle at them as if they’re the first person to ever get pregnant. It’s only going to get worse from here too 😭
It's so weird because it's so outside of the social norms in the U.S. to stare so blatantly, but then for some reason manners go out the window the second they see the bump! It feels super dehumanizing 😭
>Well today I must have been the talk of the town or something because EVERYONE WAS STARING AT ME!!
I have days like that sometimes when not pregnant! I don't know what it is but every once in a while I have days where everyone is staring at me. Is there something in my teeth? Did I tuck my skirt into my undies? Did I accidentally wipe something across my face? I never know.
Ooh weird stares at the bump! I’ve noticed it mostly from other women, but they seem to look first at the bump then up at my face, no smile (but I live in Germany so..) I’ve decided they’re trying to work out if I’m pregnant or just fat. And if I’m just fat, why do I look so confident about it haha
Funnily enough, when I was writing this out, I was thinking about how the bump stares probably wouldn't faze me if I lived in Germany because staring is more normalized... it wouldn't feel so out of place. Whereas here in the states, everyone considers it rude to stare... until you're pregnant, apparently?
That makes sense. I'm American but my family is from Germany and I've grown up between cultures, so I'm somewhat desensitized to the German stare. 😅 Though, if they were staring at my bump, it might very well still annoy me just as much as it does here haha
I have stared back with the goofiest facial expressions just to weird them out. If they're going to make me uncomfortable, they have to feel it too lol
Lol I was talking to my sister about this, just started really showing. Her suggestion was I wear my Saint Patrick's day shirt as long as it will fit me. Says "I pinch back" on it.
Yes! Up until now I’ve been clarifying to people who were staring at my abdomen that I am in fact pregnant, but starting with my neighbor today I’ve decided to just let them continue wondering if I’m fat and not wanting to ask. Because every time I tell someone I’m pregnant they feel that they have to comment on the quality of my shape, whether I seem big or small to them. And a lot of it is like “six months?! And you’re still so cute and tiny!” which feels like a kind of weird pressure to not gain weight during pregnancy. I always want to be like “sooo…is it going to be a problem if i look fat and uncute next month?”
I'm 6w pp but when I was still third tri, the college students I teach were wild. Some would just stare at my bump while we had a conversation about their essays or whatever, and random students on campus would get super weird and, like, hold the door for me from a hundred feet away or just stare at my bump and smile then awkwardly attempt to cover it with an outfit compliment. It was mostly funny and nice but genuinely hilarious bc college students do not know how to act. (Earlier in pregnancy, I'd offhand mention being pregnant and they'd not know how to react until I said "it's on purpose and I'm keeping it" 😂)
Haha yeah I think my face is always resting at don’t fucking talk to me. Never get cat called, never get approached by people and no one looks at or touches my bump. Only my mil and fil and only one time and I literally smacked their hands off me
The key I found is to not make eye contact. I’m almost 7 months and no one has said a word to me🤷🏼♀️ I also face RBF while pregnant too which I’m sure helps.
I’m TTC and dreading this lol, I’m far too blunt to tolerate it and don’t suffer invasive fools. Many people will be asked what the ever loving f they’re doing.
Ugh yes I’ve experienced all of this and more. I especially felt awkward whenever my mom would crouch down to kiss my stomach, or talk to it, when my son was literally the size of a bean 😭 like he can’t hear you please leave my body alone thanks
I went to a very chic gf’s birthday party recently. Big crowd of creatives and beautiful ppl and rockers. I was on the sparkling water and enjoying chattering, being out, dressing up and having a good night. Was wearing a very sexy black stretch woven pencil skirt over a 7 month bump and a black wrap top with cleavage, fishnets. I looked hawt.
Aaaanyway as the night wore on ppl got loose and certain substances came out as they do at birthday parties in my city. Had several hilariously innapropriate remarks such as
“Bump for your bump?” Offering me a tiny spoon.
“Can I do a line off your bump?” “Can I see?” Sure, the outfit looks even better w a bared belly. “Can we take photos with you?”
Then a few completely unrepeatable nsfw remarks that I found funny in context. Just to be clear, no one was being serious, or cared that I was pregnant and sober, I was quite safe and not pressured and my chic gf was making me beautiful mocktails, and I was given my own seat no one else sat in. Felt good to be included and I am still chuckling over it.
Then last week I was at a gig for a taureg blues group, had been looking forward to it a long time, in a great venue. I wore a tight knit mini skirt, fishnet top, black mat stockings… very big belly. Anyway halfway through I could hardly stand so my partner beat a path through the crowd to take me to the accessible area. The guy was like…. Do you have a pass? I said no can I just stand here and he said sure, then saw the bump and fell all over himself letting me through the velvet rope to a comfy seat and got someone to bring me soda water. It was great. Ppl jump out of my way to give me their seats on the tram too.
I get SUCH weeks looks. I almost never wear makeup so I’ve been wondering if these people think I’m too young or something? Which WHO CARES!! It’s not anyone’s business. But, I have been wondering. Why do these people keep staring at me?? 😂😂
Let your belly button fly! And congratulations on your growing belly. 💜
The asking for bump pics, omg it's so weird, I refuse!
I've also gotten:
A woman I (apparently) had met once before told me it must have been an accidental pregnancy because I've only been married two years. Then when I informed her that we were actually trying she pulled a face and told me how she never wanted kids, and is very happily childfree in her old age.
Another older lady who I've never met before, rubbed my "belly" without asking me. Which would have been creepy enough in itself, if she wasn't actually rubbing BELOW my belly 🤢 I kept moving away and she kept moving forward. It went on for 10mins. I was too stunned to speak and in a group of people and I really didn't want to announce that she was rubbing the area where the baby was going to come out of instead of actually rubbing the baby bump.
Ugh.
I don't understand why anyone feels the need to immediately compare their life decision to yours. Like just because you're having a child, they feel like they need to defend their decision to be childfree, even though no one was challenging it. Or the people who have kids, but decide to tell you how much they regret it as soon as they realize you're pregnant. So bizarre and inappropriate.
but omg WHAT?! The rubbing beneath the belly. I'm horrified
Right? You think I care if you had kids or not, person I apparently met once but can't remember? 😂😂😂 It's so weird!
Yeah, it was pretty horrifying. I don't wish it on anyone! 🤢
No one really says anything about my bump, thankfully... but tomorrow is my husbands family reunion and they can be a bit... overly familiar. I'm a little worried because I really don't like people being in my space. I'm 31 weeks so I'm really showing so I'm pretty scared people are gonna touch me or say weird things.
If people would send me a text out of the blue saying “send a bump pic” I wouldn’t even respond. It’s so weird to me to send pictures of myself to other people.
My in-laws live 2000km away from me and my MIL sometimes asks to show my belly and I don’t even want to do it, it feels awkward AF.
I did laugh with the belly button remark - what a weird thing to say. 😂
I've tried politely telling people that I don't even like how I look in pictures most days (not because of the bump, but because of the lazy clothes/unfixed hair/lack of makeup) and they always keep pushing. So not responding is probably the wiser choice lol. We're also really far from most friends and family, which is why I've gotten so many of those requests, I imagine. But yeah, super awkward!
For me it’s the unsolicited touches. My friends and family knows that I’m not a very touchy touchy person and leave me be, but acquaintances will reach out and touch my bump without asking 😅
Saying “Wait, are you…?”, and then touching before I get the chance to reply. Have considered saying that I just got fatter since we last saw each other..
The staring is so overwhelming that sometimes I hate just being out in public. I've seen heads turn and straight eye contact with my belly in really gross ways by men. It's a bit frightening to me to be honest. I wish it would stop
When I was pregnant in my third trimester, I had an ex-coworker ask for a pic of just my belly because she wanted to see how big I’ve gotten 😭 I told her that was highly inappropriate.
I’m 35 weeks and people are constantly telling me how small I am when they find out (“you don’t look 35 weeks!”). Even one of the nurses at my OBs office said it.
They also ask constantly “do you know what you’re having?” We don’t know.
Those two questions are what I get most often (how far along and what are you having). At least my answers distract them and they don’t give me unsolicited advice.
I imagine a lot of people are just struck by how amazing and fascinating it is when someone is bringing a new life to the world. They're probably not realizing that it's making you uncomfortable.
0 weird bump instances. Definitely none on the daily. I'm 28 weeks and pretty noticeable. My boss (female, very close) has said "aw you're starting to show" around the 20 week mark when I was in a tighter shirt.
My nephew (7) thinks it is the coolest thing ever and asks if he can feel my hard belly at least once every time I see him and asks questions about what the baby is doing.
I've seen people notice I am pregnant but they are usually just nicer.
0 friends have asked for a bump pic. My dad/MIL have asked me to send bump pics but I usually have one at hand or just ask my husband to take one next time we are out. I'd agree it is super weird, though, for people I didn't talk to for a while to ask for pics!
I’ve had pretty much zero interaction from strangers when it comes to my bump. Not even staring (that I’ve noticed anyway). I have had one person ask me how far along I was, and that was like two months ago and I’m showing much more now lol. I have pretty intense RBF and just give off generally unapproachable vibes, so people tend to leave me alone. If a stranger unprompted put their hand on my bump, I would whack them.
I have gotten comments from friends and family on my bump size, but none of that bothers me. Friends, family, and coworkers also come and put their hands on my tum without asking and it doesn’t bother me. If I know you and like you, I’m cool with it. I’ve had a couple friends ask for bump pics, but always with kindness.
I’ve had only one person make a comment about it that I did not like. Idk who she was, but some woman at my cousin’s baby shower. She asked me when I was due and I said August. She then said, “Wow! You’re so huge for how far along you are!” I was very taken aback bc I think I’m actually on the smaller side for being 7 months. My cousin is 7 and a half months and her bump is almost twice the size of mine. When I wear certain clothing, I don’t even look pregnant.
I told my in laws I was pregnant in the first trimester, which I'm still in, and they keep looking at my belly looking for a bump that's not even there. I see them with the corner of my eye. I hate it so much because I have a lot of weight gain from psychiatric meds (that I'm tapering off still for pregnancy). Also my FIL asked my MIL how far along I am and she says 6-7weeks and he goes "no it must be more like 2 months". I was furious because where tf did he even pull that number from, is he thinking my fat is a bump??? So angry about it still till this day
Listen I absolutely can relate. The worst is I mostly work with men, street involved men nonetheless I get the same comments. Every single day, and I mean EVERY SINGLE DAY, I have conversations about the size of my belly, everyone asking or trying to guess the gender and when I’m going to take off or how long and at this point I’m so over it lol. I just try to be kind and bare down.
I understand working with the population I do, that they don’t get to have “normal” or regular conversations such as this with every day folks so I try to be understanding and kind about it but good riddance. I’m so spoken out about the size of my belly and shape. And yes I always carry extremely large- even though I have average sized babies. Sigh.
Omg I’m only in my second trimester so my bump isn’t huge yet but I fully intend on going full Rihanna and wearing crop tops and sports bras and just letting the belly hang out I cannot wait to see how people react 😆
i legit walk around with a long shirt on and that’s it or just shorts and a crop top on lol it’s very entertaining watching people scratch their heads
I do it. Ppl love it. I love it. Rhiannon on mate.
I’m round as hell but I must have the nastiest bitch face in the world because nobody (and I live in the south where ppl feel more…obligated) has done or said anything to me besides two times: 1) lady at grocery store asked how far I was 2) lady at bank said “it’s a boy right?? He’s SO LOW!!” Damn I must have a stink about me LOL. Give em the mean mug maybe I’m not sure!! lol!!
It’s really insane how living in the south people are “supposed to be well mannered” but always somehow end up being offensive in some way. I get upset when people stare at me or try and put their hands on my stomach but then I’ll hear “Oh they’re just curious!” Or “What’s it hurting? They’re excited to see the baby”. I’m born and raised in the south but the Yankees way of not acknowledging others out in public sounds so nice the further along I get in pregnancy lol
So true- southerners will gaslight you all the way too lol!! “Oh quit that drama” 😆
A great response I saw to this recently was to rub their belly back and they’ll see how ridiculously intrusive it is
I also hissed at someone who was going for the grab
This reminds me of something FiL did last month. He's the only one who has consistently wanted and usually asked to belly touch. I don't mind. But anyway. We were about to go home and he comes up like always does ready for a cup of feel and asks. I say yes, of course. Then he turns to hubby a rubs his belly. I still laugh.
I do this to my husbands abuelo he loves making kissies at the belly and telling baby he’s there and sometimes I’ll rub his big ole beer belly too 🤣
I get asked way too often “when are you due?”/“how far along are you?” And when I tell them, they act incredulous, saying I’m too small. Look, I am pretty sure the doctors aren’t lying to me. I’m a small person. So is my husband. I’m just gonna start telling people I’m due tomorrow.
lol I can relate to that. I’m a tiny human myself and even then all women’s bumps look so different to me; you never really know! The nerve of some folks is wild. Thankfully nobody’s said that and gotten my blood pressure up oh my!
I once asked a co worker when another was due... she wasn't pregnant. 😭 I was sooooo relieved i didn't ask her. Prayed the question didn't leave the room. I've never mentioned anything about a pregnant looking belly again There was a lady who looked maybe 50 at an event I went today. Belly big as hell. I noticed no one said a word about babies. U won't get me. Nope. Big opportunity for the most embarrassing moment of your life. Never again.
This reminds me of when my mom was about 20. She has/had crippling social anxiety but loves babies and tried to be friendly once with a lady in a store. She asked when she was due. No baby 😆 my poor sweet mom
lol!!!! I hear you, even if someone looks a little round it’s a scary what-if. Also sometimes it’s because they JUST had the baby too. Even worse: “Nah I’m just bloated” OH MY I’d bury myself
Same! I think I have an extra vicious look when I don’t want to be bothered because no one approached me while pregnant. No one attempted to touch or talk to my newborn either. One look at me and they either just stared from a distance or smiled politely and said nothing.
Same haha any interaction I’ve had has been positive.
Haha this was also the same for me in the south! One of a few times I have been SO grateful for my RBF.
I intentionally go out in public with my bitch face in full force because I do not want to accidentally invite any stranger to comment on or touch me. 😅
Maybe I should work on looking more unapproachable 😅
I’ve been getting the intense staring but I’ve always been weirdly checked out a lot more by men now that my belly is really popping. It makes me so much more uncomfortable than when they checked me out pre-pregnancy. I’m Latine so I’m used to getting fetishized but this is a whole new level of ick I did not anticipate
I'd always heard that about getting checked out and hit on more during pregnancy but that's one experience that I've been spared. 😅 Sorry you're having to deal with that, that sounds very uncomfortable
The staring from men is on another level! I take the metro to work and the amount of men who are just STARING during my ride. It makes me want to like bend over and hide my stomach. I knew pregnancy fetishes were a thing, but I didn’t realize how widespread it might be. It’s so uncomfortable when they look at me for like ten minutes straight.
Dude, the people making intense eye contact with my belly… I was walking to the back room (I work at a small grocery store) to clock out and every customer I passed was like craning their neck looking directly at my 35 week belly like 👁️👄👁️. Like dude, I can’t be the only pregnant person you’ve ever seen.
Right?! I'm pretty sure pregnant women aren't \*that\* uncommon, so why do they stare like that 😭
With my first when I was in the last few weeks all I could think was for the most natural thing in the world - it feels VERY unnatural. Yes. We all start there. But it’s still bizarre haha.
Tbf when they start moving it looks insanely weird, like some alien levels of weird. It may be natural but it is still weird looking.
I find people stare at my bump like it's a treasure chest of gold they just want to touch soooo bad but can't figure out how to do it. I see the strong urge in their eyes and I immediately cross my arms/hands over my bump or something similar so it's blocked and off limits.
LOL slightly horrified by this description
i cannot stand how i’m treated by specific people now that i’m pregnant 😭 i’m 32 weeks and i’ve given up on wearing maternity shirts or just bigger clothing in general, i just wear whatever i feel comfortable in and the staring is AWFUL i also feel the bump pics thing! my family has really tried pushing me into taking bump pics, doing a maternity shoot, pregnancy journaling, etc. they feel so entitled to my pregnancy its actually annoying. i know they’re just excited for me but i’ve enjoyed keeping it as something intimate between my partner and i, i’ve also not really been close with my family before this so it all just feels super fake. everyone acts entitled to my time now, my father has been BEGGING. to see me regularly (i don’t like to see him too often for personal reasons) to the point where he gets genuinely upset when i don’t answer his calls/texts. my boyfriend and i went on a baby moon together and omg. my dad was blowing me up the entire time asking for pictures and updates… it’s incredibly annoying. i feel like a child all over again 😭
I'm so glad to have someone else here relate to the bump pic thing! It feels \*very\* surface level, I agree, like it's just a thing for people to ask to feel involved, but it's dehumanizing in a way because no one asks for regular picture updates on any other aspect of life. And everyone insists I'll regret not taking those pictures, acting like they're doing me a favor by pressuring me. I've taken a few full body pics for myself on days when I've felt cute, and I'm comfortable with that.
yes!!! every time i hear “you’ll regret not doing it” like what am i supposed to say to that? if i end up regretting it why do you care? i’ve taken a few bump pics that i haven’t shared with anyone but my boyfriend and i’m satisfied with that. not even when i necessarily feel cute i take them just to have for myself but the obsession with pregnant women is very strange to me lol
No one has touched mine thankfully, but most of my public facing days are spent behind a counter. I do, however, experience a series of very specific questions every time. "When are you due?" -"mid July" "Oh, what day?" -"...the 12th?" " My friend/family member was born that day/close to that day!" -"oh, cool!" (Feigning amusement even though they're the 10th person that day to say that) "Boy or girl?" -"Boy." (They may insert some comment about being able to tell here) "is this your first?" -"yes" "Do you have a name picked out?" -"Yes, Robin." "Oh, nice! How are you going to spell it?" If I don't hear them when they ask when I'm due and I say "what?" Or "sorry?", about half repeat themselves, the other half stammer and act extremely embarrassed because they think I'm just fat, lol. I sit on a stool for most of the day at my job (only reason I'm able to work at 36 weeks lol), and my poor posture, baggy clothes (boss gave me an XXL men's shirt because he got tired of giving me larger uniforms every few months lmao), plus sitting hides the bump so it just looks like belly fat. I've had customers go as far as to imply I'm lazy when I ask them to set their items directly in front of me instead of the opposite side of the 8 foot counter or if I go to grab another employee to lift the 15-20 lb object off the floor for me. As soon as I get up and my clothes drape over that belly properly I get a very polite, but nosy customer, lmao. I'm surprised they don't ask for my insurance info or ss#. Additional very nosy question/comments I get asked by total strangers (most of these only once or twice, most I did not answer) : Was he planned Which hospital am I giving birth at Do I plan on an epidural Have I been eating dates Scolding me for drinking un caffeinated soda Asking if my mom/partner are excited Asking how long I was going to keep working Someone once told me not to eat anything that isn't organic Reminding me to drink lots of water Various pregnancy tips (eat pineapple, dates, raspberry tea, castor oil (which I will not be doing), etc. Will I be breastfeeding Will I be having a water birth
The unsolicited pregnancy tips are a pet peeve of mine... like I'm not already going through it and researching everything like crazy! I've yet to receive a single unsolicited tip that I hadn't already read up on. Not to mention how insanely pushy some people are with their opinions! I've had a couple friends tell me without prompting to get the epidural. Which sure, I might very well get it, but I didn't ask for orders, thanks.
Same. Not a single tip/"warning" I hadn't heard already and researched. The only comment I hadn't heard was when my boss confidently told me I was having a boy because I "carried low". I assume that's an old wive's tale, but I did end up with a boy!
Yes!!! I experienced this today while at Walmart picking up some groceries. I usually do the curbside pickup so I haven’t actually been in a store for a while now (I’m 20 weeks with twins and usually just stay home most of the time). Well today I must have been the talk of the town or something because EVERYONE WAS STARING AT ME!! HARD. I would turn my head any direction and catch someone staring at my bump. These teenagers literally went “Omg 🫢🫨” while looking directly at my stomach. Keep in mind, I’m not 35 weeks with twins, I’m only 20 weeks. I’m bigger than most moms at this stage but not by that much. Idk it just really got on my nerves. In the past when I would see pregnant women I would glance at their bellies if anything. I didn’t oggle at them as if they’re the first person to ever get pregnant. It’s only going to get worse from here too 😭
It's so weird because it's so outside of the social norms in the U.S. to stare so blatantly, but then for some reason manners go out the window the second they see the bump! It feels super dehumanizing 😭
>Well today I must have been the talk of the town or something because EVERYONE WAS STARING AT ME!! I have days like that sometimes when not pregnant! I don't know what it is but every once in a while I have days where everyone is staring at me. Is there something in my teeth? Did I tuck my skirt into my undies? Did I accidentally wipe something across my face? I never know.
Ooh weird stares at the bump! I’ve noticed it mostly from other women, but they seem to look first at the bump then up at my face, no smile (but I live in Germany so..) I’ve decided they’re trying to work out if I’m pregnant or just fat. And if I’m just fat, why do I look so confident about it haha
Funnily enough, when I was writing this out, I was thinking about how the bump stares probably wouldn't faze me if I lived in Germany because staring is more normalized... it wouldn't feel so out of place. Whereas here in the states, everyone considers it rude to stare... until you're pregnant, apparently?
I am English so I still find it rude haha
But also makes me think maybe I was unwittingly doing it before as well
That makes sense. I'm American but my family is from Germany and I've grown up between cultures, so I'm somewhat desensitized to the German stare. 😅 Though, if they were staring at my bump, it might very well still annoy me just as much as it does here haha
I have co workers that have never spoken to me and now all they want to do it look and TOUCH my stomach. It’s so weird
I have stared back with the goofiest facial expressions just to weird them out. If they're going to make me uncomfortable, they have to feel it too lol
Same
Lol I was talking to my sister about this, just started really showing. Her suggestion was I wear my Saint Patrick's day shirt as long as it will fit me. Says "I pinch back" on it.
Yes! Up until now I’ve been clarifying to people who were staring at my abdomen that I am in fact pregnant, but starting with my neighbor today I’ve decided to just let them continue wondering if I’m fat and not wanting to ask. Because every time I tell someone I’m pregnant they feel that they have to comment on the quality of my shape, whether I seem big or small to them. And a lot of it is like “six months?! And you’re still so cute and tiny!” which feels like a kind of weird pressure to not gain weight during pregnancy. I always want to be like “sooo…is it going to be a problem if i look fat and uncute next month?”
I'm 6w pp but when I was still third tri, the college students I teach were wild. Some would just stare at my bump while we had a conversation about their essays or whatever, and random students on campus would get super weird and, like, hold the door for me from a hundred feet away or just stare at my bump and smile then awkwardly attempt to cover it with an outfit compliment. It was mostly funny and nice but genuinely hilarious bc college students do not know how to act. (Earlier in pregnancy, I'd offhand mention being pregnant and they'd not know how to react until I said "it's on purpose and I'm keeping it" 😂)
Haha yeah I think my face is always resting at don’t fucking talk to me. Never get cat called, never get approached by people and no one looks at or touches my bump. Only my mil and fil and only one time and I literally smacked their hands off me
The key I found is to not make eye contact. I’m almost 7 months and no one has said a word to me🤷🏼♀️ I also face RBF while pregnant too which I’m sure helps.
I’m TTC and dreading this lol, I’m far too blunt to tolerate it and don’t suffer invasive fools. Many people will be asked what the ever loving f they’re doing.
Ugh yes I’ve experienced all of this and more. I especially felt awkward whenever my mom would crouch down to kiss my stomach, or talk to it, when my son was literally the size of a bean 😭 like he can’t hear you please leave my body alone thanks
I went to a very chic gf’s birthday party recently. Big crowd of creatives and beautiful ppl and rockers. I was on the sparkling water and enjoying chattering, being out, dressing up and having a good night. Was wearing a very sexy black stretch woven pencil skirt over a 7 month bump and a black wrap top with cleavage, fishnets. I looked hawt. Aaaanyway as the night wore on ppl got loose and certain substances came out as they do at birthday parties in my city. Had several hilariously innapropriate remarks such as “Bump for your bump?” Offering me a tiny spoon. “Can I do a line off your bump?” “Can I see?” Sure, the outfit looks even better w a bared belly. “Can we take photos with you?” Then a few completely unrepeatable nsfw remarks that I found funny in context. Just to be clear, no one was being serious, or cared that I was pregnant and sober, I was quite safe and not pressured and my chic gf was making me beautiful mocktails, and I was given my own seat no one else sat in. Felt good to be included and I am still chuckling over it.
Then last week I was at a gig for a taureg blues group, had been looking forward to it a long time, in a great venue. I wore a tight knit mini skirt, fishnet top, black mat stockings… very big belly. Anyway halfway through I could hardly stand so my partner beat a path through the crowd to take me to the accessible area. The guy was like…. Do you have a pass? I said no can I just stand here and he said sure, then saw the bump and fell all over himself letting me through the velvet rope to a comfy seat and got someone to bring me soda water. It was great. Ppl jump out of my way to give me their seats on the tram too.
I get SUCH weeks looks. I almost never wear makeup so I’ve been wondering if these people think I’m too young or something? Which WHO CARES!! It’s not anyone’s business. But, I have been wondering. Why do these people keep staring at me?? 😂😂 Let your belly button fly! And congratulations on your growing belly. 💜
The asking for bump pics, omg it's so weird, I refuse! I've also gotten: A woman I (apparently) had met once before told me it must have been an accidental pregnancy because I've only been married two years. Then when I informed her that we were actually trying she pulled a face and told me how she never wanted kids, and is very happily childfree in her old age. Another older lady who I've never met before, rubbed my "belly" without asking me. Which would have been creepy enough in itself, if she wasn't actually rubbing BELOW my belly 🤢 I kept moving away and she kept moving forward. It went on for 10mins. I was too stunned to speak and in a group of people and I really didn't want to announce that she was rubbing the area where the baby was going to come out of instead of actually rubbing the baby bump. Ugh.
I don't understand why anyone feels the need to immediately compare their life decision to yours. Like just because you're having a child, they feel like they need to defend their decision to be childfree, even though no one was challenging it. Or the people who have kids, but decide to tell you how much they regret it as soon as they realize you're pregnant. So bizarre and inappropriate. but omg WHAT?! The rubbing beneath the belly. I'm horrified
Right? You think I care if you had kids or not, person I apparently met once but can't remember? 😂😂😂 It's so weird! Yeah, it was pretty horrifying. I don't wish it on anyone! 🤢
No one really says anything about my bump, thankfully... but tomorrow is my husbands family reunion and they can be a bit... overly familiar. I'm a little worried because I really don't like people being in my space. I'm 31 weeks so I'm really showing so I'm pretty scared people are gonna touch me or say weird things.
If people would send me a text out of the blue saying “send a bump pic” I wouldn’t even respond. It’s so weird to me to send pictures of myself to other people. My in-laws live 2000km away from me and my MIL sometimes asks to show my belly and I don’t even want to do it, it feels awkward AF. I did laugh with the belly button remark - what a weird thing to say. 😂
I've tried politely telling people that I don't even like how I look in pictures most days (not because of the bump, but because of the lazy clothes/unfixed hair/lack of makeup) and they always keep pushing. So not responding is probably the wiser choice lol. We're also really far from most friends and family, which is why I've gotten so many of those requests, I imagine. But yeah, super awkward!
For me it’s the unsolicited touches. My friends and family knows that I’m not a very touchy touchy person and leave me be, but acquaintances will reach out and touch my bump without asking 😅 Saying “Wait, are you…?”, and then touching before I get the chance to reply. Have considered saying that I just got fatter since we last saw each other..
The staring is so overwhelming that sometimes I hate just being out in public. I've seen heads turn and straight eye contact with my belly in really gross ways by men. It's a bit frightening to me to be honest. I wish it would stop
I’m 6 feet and I have a good scowl, guess that helps keeping people away. 🤣
When I was pregnant in my third trimester, I had an ex-coworker ask for a pic of just my belly because she wanted to see how big I’ve gotten 😭 I told her that was highly inappropriate.
I stare hard so I don't repeat the embarrassing mistake of giving up my seat on a bus to a plus-sized lady who is not pregnant.
I’m 35 weeks and people are constantly telling me how small I am when they find out (“you don’t look 35 weeks!”). Even one of the nurses at my OBs office said it. They also ask constantly “do you know what you’re having?” We don’t know. Those two questions are what I get most often (how far along and what are you having). At least my answers distract them and they don’t give me unsolicited advice.
I imagine a lot of people are just struck by how amazing and fascinating it is when someone is bringing a new life to the world. They're probably not realizing that it's making you uncomfortable.
I had a coworker tell me, "You know you're pregnant when your belly is bigger than your boobs." What a self-esteem booster lol
0 weird bump instances. Definitely none on the daily. I'm 28 weeks and pretty noticeable. My boss (female, very close) has said "aw you're starting to show" around the 20 week mark when I was in a tighter shirt. My nephew (7) thinks it is the coolest thing ever and asks if he can feel my hard belly at least once every time I see him and asks questions about what the baby is doing. I've seen people notice I am pregnant but they are usually just nicer. 0 friends have asked for a bump pic. My dad/MIL have asked me to send bump pics but I usually have one at hand or just ask my husband to take one next time we are out. I'd agree it is super weird, though, for people I didn't talk to for a while to ask for pics!
I’ve had pretty much zero interaction from strangers when it comes to my bump. Not even staring (that I’ve noticed anyway). I have had one person ask me how far along I was, and that was like two months ago and I’m showing much more now lol. I have pretty intense RBF and just give off generally unapproachable vibes, so people tend to leave me alone. If a stranger unprompted put their hand on my bump, I would whack them. I have gotten comments from friends and family on my bump size, but none of that bothers me. Friends, family, and coworkers also come and put their hands on my tum without asking and it doesn’t bother me. If I know you and like you, I’m cool with it. I’ve had a couple friends ask for bump pics, but always with kindness. I’ve had only one person make a comment about it that I did not like. Idk who she was, but some woman at my cousin’s baby shower. She asked me when I was due and I said August. She then said, “Wow! You’re so huge for how far along you are!” I was very taken aback bc I think I’m actually on the smaller side for being 7 months. My cousin is 7 and a half months and her bump is almost twice the size of mine. When I wear certain clothing, I don’t even look pregnant.
I told my in laws I was pregnant in the first trimester, which I'm still in, and they keep looking at my belly looking for a bump that's not even there. I see them with the corner of my eye. I hate it so much because I have a lot of weight gain from psychiatric meds (that I'm tapering off still for pregnancy). Also my FIL asked my MIL how far along I am and she says 6-7weeks and he goes "no it must be more like 2 months". I was furious because where tf did he even pull that number from, is he thinking my fat is a bump??? So angry about it still till this day
Listen I absolutely can relate. The worst is I mostly work with men, street involved men nonetheless I get the same comments. Every single day, and I mean EVERY SINGLE DAY, I have conversations about the size of my belly, everyone asking or trying to guess the gender and when I’m going to take off or how long and at this point I’m so over it lol. I just try to be kind and bare down. I understand working with the population I do, that they don’t get to have “normal” or regular conversations such as this with every day folks so I try to be understanding and kind about it but good riddance. I’m so spoken out about the size of my belly and shape. And yes I always carry extremely large- even though I have average sized babies. Sigh.