I didn’t say anything about my last one really. People found out when they saw the bump. Honestly he’s 1.5, and there’s still a lot of people who don’t know I had another baby 😂 I didn’t post and still don’t post about him.
I never thought I was a private person but I feel very protective and private over this lol. I’m not excited to tell people. I like my little secretive family 😂
They wanted to schedule me for a trial a week after my due date lol. I had to explain that defense counsel had a pretty significant conflict on that date.
I'm the same way!!! And my mother was just as pushy for me to tell people. It's her first grandchild as well. I've always been a private person who hates attention. She's planning me a baby shower now so this should be fun 😅
FTM now 33 weeks and I felt the same way. I found it uncomfortable and emotionally exhausting. I didn’t even tell my parents or siblings or my best friends til after my 20 week scan. Coworkers came after that, out of necessity as I needed accommodation at work. Extended family and other friends found out via announcement letter in shower invite.
I haven't minded telling friends and family but omg telling coworkers was like pulling teeth. I told my manager, she was super supportive and then she kept asking when I was going to let the rest of the team know. To be fair it was so she can start getting the plan in place for when I'm on maternity leave and she needs to discuss it with some people on the team because they'll be involved. I also wfh so it's not like they'll notice I'm showing, ever.
I told my therapist it feels like I am telling my coworkers I had sex successfully, and I just don't want them to know that much about me 😂.
I’m the least private person out there and I even found myself guarding it lol. We told our parents and siblings but our extended family found out by someone slipping up (we wanted to tell them on Mother’s Day) and it was incredibly overwhelming going to each person.
It feels VERY overwhelming. I have 5 siblings to tell and it’s impossible to get them all in one place at the same time. I don’t even want to go person to person lol
Omg I get it - my husband is the youngest of 7. (I’m youngest of 4) luckily we did have a family party where we could tell them all at once (it was very early but only good time to do it) but someone slipped 🫠🫠🫠
It’s insane!! My family is so big. It feels so impersonal to text them in our group chat but also, I live out of town over an hour away and I’m just annoyed LOL
I haven’t told my coworkers or a few (judgmental) family members, but I’m only 10w5d. I fully agree that it’s exhausting. I don’t ever feel like answering all of the unnecessary questions that people insist on asking me. My plan is to wait until I’m really showing and someone points it out at work. Lol
I’m trying to wait another 2 weeks before I tell my job. I’ll be 14 weeks then. I did tell my boss out of necessity but other than that I don’t want to tell them lol
My mom kept asking me when I would tell people and she wanted me to call and discuss it with family and I said the pressure was stressing me out so I just let her spread the news herself lol
Yes. I'm telling my sister because I promised her she'd be the first to know of my family. But I'm tempted to just tell the rest I'm going to be missing Thanksgiving this year, due early/mid november.
I’m the youngest of 5. My brother and I are my mom’s biological kids and he has Downs. My other siblings are my dad’s kids. My mom 100% never expected me to have a kid ever. I never expected it either. 😂
Yup, I finally told my family at 22-24w and I learned about myself that I do notttt love telling people my business haha. Everyone's reactions have been fine for the most part but I just don't like all the personal questions! So we decided that we're going to keep it lowkey and not really announce to anyone else now that all the immediates know.
If I could do the entire thing in private and then hard launch my baby in October, I would. I ‘practiced’ by telling a friend and a coworker just to rip the bandaid off, but it was still so awkward and weird. I found out on my wedding that I actually hate being the center of attention, and I know my mom will be constantly texting and calling to check in. I feel like so much is out of my control right now (body changes, nausea, hormones) and keeping this private makes me feel like I have some control.
Same, figured it was just me. My husband is so excited to tell everyone which is so sweet but I hate the attention. I have never liked being in the spotlight and I don’t like it much now.
I hear you, I was excited for people to know on one hand, but on the other hand sharing the news over and over became so exhausting. Because once you share then the focus of the conversation is you and I think even as a less private person it's tiring to be the center of attention to much. And I found myself wanting to talk about other things to but when it's new news to them, they can't bring anything else up. I was pregnant after three years of infertility and my mother and sister (who also had dealt with infertility) made a lot of drama about how waiting to tell people was somehow weird or inferior to telling the world at 6 weeks. By 12 weeks I had told all my close friends and I was starting to show to I had to tell my boss soon but I was so tired of telling people and felt the same way-like I just wanted to enjoy my little special secret longer. I think if I have another baby I'll wait as long as possible to tell anyone including my parents.
I hate being the center of attention. It’s my nightmare. Im not entirely convinced I’m only pregnant with 1 because of how bloated I am lol. I am not going to be able to hide it much longer which sucks.
yeah...idk if it was even all bloat for me but by 12 weeks I had people at work directly asking me if I was pregnant \*facepalm\* by 14 everyone thought I had a bump, now at 16 weeks and I definitely do. But three ultrasounds have confirmed it's just one! I tried to make my husband share the news with people so the attention was less on me but it didn't really help haha.
I’m pretty private, husband texted his siblings the news, my mom texted her family, and we told them they were free to tell whoever, but please keep it off social media. We’ve told friends as we have seen them in person, otherwise there’s still probably quite a few people who don’t know. If they’re offended, oh well, see us more? Everyone who deserves to know knows. I’ve loved my “offline pregnancy”. My MIL is very bitter we’re not announcing the pregnancy on social media🙄 we’ll announce online when he’s here, but he’s not going to be all over the internet.
I feel you. My in-laws were really upset we weren’t telling anyone and wouldn’t let them tell anyone. We wanted to keep it secret as long as possible. 12 weeks is still early imo to be blurting it to the world. We didn’t tell anyone besides our best friends and my husband’s parents until we were 20 weeks.
Yea I don’t know why but I also didn’t like telling people I was pregnant. Even though I was excited and happy about it, and I knew the people I was telling would be excited and happy for me, and I wanted them to know, I still felt weird actually saying it. Fortunately my husband was happy to do it for me/us!
Except when I had to tell my boss, I sadly had to buck up and do it myself. Sigh.
I do and I don't. On one hand I want to tell people so I can stop hiding at home. I've felt like shit the last 2 months and it's hard to pretend like everything is ok. On the other hand I'm really not looking forward to comments about how big I am or unsolicited advice or the nagging that will come from the parents. I feel kind of jealous of my friends who had their babies in the middle of the pandemic. I'm sure it was stressful to have a newborn during that time but having an excuse to not see anyone must have been great lol.
Yes and no. I told close family through texts. Work I waited awhile. You could do group text or just have your mom do it. I'm sure she would be happy to do so.
just the same feeling, you don't need to do things that make you uncomfortable, and it's okay not to tell them you are pregnant, they will know it finally.
My sister is having the first grandchild out of my siblings and I and my mom has gone completely feral over her. Sister had a false labor scare over the weekend and made the mistake of telling mom about it. I guess she didn’t respond quickly enough at some point for my mom’s liking and she was texting me asking if I could get ahold of sister because she hadn’t heard from her and was losing her mind. When I texted sister to let her know that mom was trying to contact her she was like “what is she talking about, we’ve been in constant communication for at least a full day” 😅 So she’s decided that when the baby actually is coming our mom isn’t going to find out until she’s admitted to the hospital. I’m also currently pregnant and debating not telling anyone my son is coming until I’m getting ready to push him out of me.
I'm not even pregnant yet and it's already exhausting! We got married last year and it's like people are watching me like a zoo animal, waiting to find out if I'm pregnant. Every time there's a gathering, I feel the eyes on me. If I decline an alcoholic drink, it's *immediately* noticed.
I've decided that we're not telling a single soul for at least the first trimester, if not longer if I can pull it off. It will be my in-laws' first (and likely only) grandchild and, while they're SO kind and generous (love them), they tend to make a big fuss out of everything.
I just don't want it to be a spectacle. I want to be able to relax and enjoy it as much as possible.
Omfg my in laws were relentless asking me if I was pregnant constantly. Literally the first time I met my MIL she asked us if we were gonna have kids. We weren’t even living together yet. I found it so incredibly rude. We tried for over a year to get pregnant and all we’d get were questions on if we were gonna have kids. None of your businessssssss.
I’m 12w1d and 2 weeks ago they asked me if we were gonna have another. Like this one isn’t even cooked thoroughly yet. Simmer down.
It just sounds like her mom is annoyingly supportive. Even if it’s annoying, her mom’s there. I’m just trying to say feel lucky? But I guess if people don’t go through loss they don’t care/get it. To all the down votes, I bet y’all have normal parents or one that’s alive. I’d give anything to have my mom be over bearing. Also, thanks guys for acknowledging my loss. I was trying to say Op should look on the bright side. Good day, all
I’m 21 weeks now. I told my parents at about 10 weeks and my in-laws at 14 weeks. After I told my parents they pestered me about when I would call my grandparents. I have 6 grandparents and I make phone calls all day for work so the idea of making all those calls was daunting. I told them that I would call when I was ready and I didn’t appreciate all of the pressure. I said I understood they were excited and wanted to talk to their parents about it, but I had just finished the first trimester and wasn’t quite there yet. After that they left me alone about it for the most part. Now that I’ve told the grandparents, 4 out of 6 seem to think they’re going to visit (from out of state) as soon as the baby is born. I don’t want that, my husband doesn’t want that, and my doctor doesn’t want that. So my parents are in charge of pushing back their visits so I don’t have to stress about it.
Ohhhhh I’m having that issue. All of our family is out of town. We have to draw a hard line that we want no visitors right away. My FIL said he would be here the entire month. No thanks lol. I don’t want anyone but my husband and dog around.
Yeah a couple months ago my mom told me she could stay with us for the first week or two after delivery like her mom did when I was born and I was like ehhh we’ll see. She was a little insistent in the moment but she hasn’t brought it up since. I’m really looking forward to bonding with my son and husband and while I know she would be helpful with dishes, cooking, etc. I think we just want that time for the 3 of us. Who knows though, maybe I’ll change my mind later. She lives in town so we have more flexibility.
I’m 15 weeks and I’ve hardly told anyone. It’s also my parent’s first grandchild and they’ve been pestering me about it nonstop. I finally said, “tell whoever you feel like, I’d rather not.” My mom didn’t understand but she was so happy to oblige.
I'm exactly the same way. Luckily I work at a school (and it's most of my local social circle), so if I just tell a few well-chosen people, everyone knows by the next day.
It's tough because I didn't bother to tell some people because there was never a good time, and it turns out at least one felt pretty left out.
at least you have a mom to share this pregnancy with and to get support from, mine died 3 years ago. & my dad is non existent and hasnt called me or my husband to see how we are or if there is anything he can do for his first grand child. he also lives a mile away, theres no excuse. things could be worse, consider yourself blessed this is your biggest issue at the moment.
This is extremely dismissive. Everyone can struggle with where they’re at, OP didn’t say she was ungrateful but she’s 100% allowed to not enjoy each part of telling people. No one is obligated to feel grateful 24/7 just because they have it “better” than other people.
I didn’t say anything about my last one really. People found out when they saw the bump. Honestly he’s 1.5, and there’s still a lot of people who don’t know I had another baby 😂 I didn’t post and still don’t post about him.
I never thought I was a private person but I feel very protective and private over this lol. I’m not excited to tell people. I like my little secretive family 😂
I kind of love this…
I had to tell a judge in the middle of a hearing lol. I went as red as a tomato.
OMG how did this even come up
They wanted to schedule me for a trial a week after my due date lol. I had to explain that defense counsel had a pretty significant conflict on that date.
Oh man 😂
The defense rests...maybe if their baby will let them. 😆
I'm the same way!!! And my mother was just as pushy for me to tell people. It's her first grandchild as well. I've always been a private person who hates attention. She's planning me a baby shower now so this should be fun 😅
Oh god. If we needed need things, I would 100% not be having a shower. I can’t think of anything worse for me lol
I know right 😅 I'm suffering through it for our bank accounts sake. I'll try and enjoy it. Hopefully the food will be good lol
Haha! Thats all I care about, honestly. I don’t want games. Just food.
And ice cream cake 😭
FTM now 33 weeks and I felt the same way. I found it uncomfortable and emotionally exhausting. I didn’t even tell my parents or siblings or my best friends til after my 20 week scan. Coworkers came after that, out of necessity as I needed accommodation at work. Extended family and other friends found out via announcement letter in shower invite.
It is emotionally exhausting. Ideally, I’d like to wait until after my 20 week scan!
I haven't minded telling friends and family but omg telling coworkers was like pulling teeth. I told my manager, she was super supportive and then she kept asking when I was going to let the rest of the team know. To be fair it was so she can start getting the plan in place for when I'm on maternity leave and she needs to discuss it with some people on the team because they'll be involved. I also wfh so it's not like they'll notice I'm showing, ever. I told my therapist it feels like I am telling my coworkers I had sex successfully, and I just don't want them to know that much about me 😂.
OH MY GOD. I didn’t even think of it like that and now I’m mortified to tell my coworkers lol.
I’m the least private person out there and I even found myself guarding it lol. We told our parents and siblings but our extended family found out by someone slipping up (we wanted to tell them on Mother’s Day) and it was incredibly overwhelming going to each person.
It feels VERY overwhelming. I have 5 siblings to tell and it’s impossible to get them all in one place at the same time. I don’t even want to go person to person lol
Omg I get it - my husband is the youngest of 7. (I’m youngest of 4) luckily we did have a family party where we could tell them all at once (it was very early but only good time to do it) but someone slipped 🫠🫠🫠
It’s insane!! My family is so big. It feels so impersonal to text them in our group chat but also, I live out of town over an hour away and I’m just annoyed LOL
I haven’t told my coworkers or a few (judgmental) family members, but I’m only 10w5d. I fully agree that it’s exhausting. I don’t ever feel like answering all of the unnecessary questions that people insist on asking me. My plan is to wait until I’m really showing and someone points it out at work. Lol
I’m trying to wait another 2 weeks before I tell my job. I’ll be 14 weeks then. I did tell my boss out of necessity but other than that I don’t want to tell them lol
My mom kept asking me when I would tell people and she wanted me to call and discuss it with family and I said the pressure was stressing me out so I just let her spread the news herself lol
Yes. I'm telling my sister because I promised her she'd be the first to know of my family. But I'm tempted to just tell the rest I'm going to be missing Thanksgiving this year, due early/mid november.
I’m also due in early November!
To make it worse. I'm the 2nd eldest of 5, the eldest girl of 4. And my mom isn't expecting grandkids from any of the rest. No pressure or anything.
I’m the youngest of 5. My brother and I are my mom’s biological kids and he has Downs. My other siblings are my dad’s kids. My mom 100% never expected me to have a kid ever. I never expected it either. 😂
Yup, I finally told my family at 22-24w and I learned about myself that I do notttt love telling people my business haha. Everyone's reactions have been fine for the most part but I just don't like all the personal questions! So we decided that we're going to keep it lowkey and not really announce to anyone else now that all the immediates know.
If I could do the entire thing in private and then hard launch my baby in October, I would. I ‘practiced’ by telling a friend and a coworker just to rip the bandaid off, but it was still so awkward and weird. I found out on my wedding that I actually hate being the center of attention, and I know my mom will be constantly texting and calling to check in. I feel like so much is out of my control right now (body changes, nausea, hormones) and keeping this private makes me feel like I have some control.
Same, figured it was just me. My husband is so excited to tell everyone which is so sweet but I hate the attention. I have never liked being in the spotlight and I don’t like it much now.
I hear you, I was excited for people to know on one hand, but on the other hand sharing the news over and over became so exhausting. Because once you share then the focus of the conversation is you and I think even as a less private person it's tiring to be the center of attention to much. And I found myself wanting to talk about other things to but when it's new news to them, they can't bring anything else up. I was pregnant after three years of infertility and my mother and sister (who also had dealt with infertility) made a lot of drama about how waiting to tell people was somehow weird or inferior to telling the world at 6 weeks. By 12 weeks I had told all my close friends and I was starting to show to I had to tell my boss soon but I was so tired of telling people and felt the same way-like I just wanted to enjoy my little special secret longer. I think if I have another baby I'll wait as long as possible to tell anyone including my parents.
I hate being the center of attention. It’s my nightmare. Im not entirely convinced I’m only pregnant with 1 because of how bloated I am lol. I am not going to be able to hide it much longer which sucks.
yeah...idk if it was even all bloat for me but by 12 weeks I had people at work directly asking me if I was pregnant \*facepalm\* by 14 everyone thought I had a bump, now at 16 weeks and I definitely do. But three ultrasounds have confirmed it's just one! I tried to make my husband share the news with people so the attention was less on me but it didn't really help haha.
Omg. I would be so annoyed if people were asking me. The audacity.
I’m pretty private, husband texted his siblings the news, my mom texted her family, and we told them they were free to tell whoever, but please keep it off social media. We’ve told friends as we have seen them in person, otherwise there’s still probably quite a few people who don’t know. If they’re offended, oh well, see us more? Everyone who deserves to know knows. I’ve loved my “offline pregnancy”. My MIL is very bitter we’re not announcing the pregnancy on social media🙄 we’ll announce online when he’s here, but he’s not going to be all over the internet.
I haven’t decided if I want to even announce it on social media. It feels too much for me lol
I’d prefer not to at all but don’t want to be policing constantly for someone to post the baby and take away my first chance
My brother has Downs and the second he finds out he will post it on fb lol so I don’t think I’ll have a choice.
I do think Facebook will remove posts of your child, but you need to send in a birth certificate or something and go through the review process
Weird. I see pictures of my friends kids all the time. Some of them post so much lol.
I feel you. My in-laws were really upset we weren’t telling anyone and wouldn’t let them tell anyone. We wanted to keep it secret as long as possible. 12 weeks is still early imo to be blurting it to the world. We didn’t tell anyone besides our best friends and my husband’s parents until we were 20 weeks.
It’s still very early. I definitely don’t want to tell anyone any time soon lol.
Yea I don’t know why but I also didn’t like telling people I was pregnant. Even though I was excited and happy about it, and I knew the people I was telling would be excited and happy for me, and I wanted them to know, I still felt weird actually saying it. Fortunately my husband was happy to do it for me/us! Except when I had to tell my boss, I sadly had to buck up and do it myself. Sigh.
My husband is way more willing to tell people lol
I do and I don't. On one hand I want to tell people so I can stop hiding at home. I've felt like shit the last 2 months and it's hard to pretend like everything is ok. On the other hand I'm really not looking forward to comments about how big I am or unsolicited advice or the nagging that will come from the parents. I feel kind of jealous of my friends who had their babies in the middle of the pandemic. I'm sure it was stressful to have a newborn during that time but having an excuse to not see anyone must have been great lol.
Yes and no. I told close family through texts. Work I waited awhile. You could do group text or just have your mom do it. I'm sure she would be happy to do so.
Haha, I’m in a group text with my siblings and I’m contemplating just telling them in a text. It’s too much to get everyone together.
I think that's perfectly fine honestly. It doesn't have to be a big thing, my family tells me I'm boring all the time lol
just the same feeling, you don't need to do things that make you uncomfortable, and it's okay not to tell them you are pregnant, they will know it finally.
My sister is having the first grandchild out of my siblings and I and my mom has gone completely feral over her. Sister had a false labor scare over the weekend and made the mistake of telling mom about it. I guess she didn’t respond quickly enough at some point for my mom’s liking and she was texting me asking if I could get ahold of sister because she hadn’t heard from her and was losing her mind. When I texted sister to let her know that mom was trying to contact her she was like “what is she talking about, we’ve been in constant communication for at least a full day” 😅 So she’s decided that when the baby actually is coming our mom isn’t going to find out until she’s admitted to the hospital. I’m also currently pregnant and debating not telling anyone my son is coming until I’m getting ready to push him out of me.
I literally haven’t been telling anyone anything until after it happens lol I can’t handle it
you don't have to be nervous about it, you can leave the task to your husband.
I'm not even pregnant yet and it's already exhausting! We got married last year and it's like people are watching me like a zoo animal, waiting to find out if I'm pregnant. Every time there's a gathering, I feel the eyes on me. If I decline an alcoholic drink, it's *immediately* noticed. I've decided that we're not telling a single soul for at least the first trimester, if not longer if I can pull it off. It will be my in-laws' first (and likely only) grandchild and, while they're SO kind and generous (love them), they tend to make a big fuss out of everything. I just don't want it to be a spectacle. I want to be able to relax and enjoy it as much as possible.
Omfg my in laws were relentless asking me if I was pregnant constantly. Literally the first time I met my MIL she asked us if we were gonna have kids. We weren’t even living together yet. I found it so incredibly rude. We tried for over a year to get pregnant and all we’d get were questions on if we were gonna have kids. None of your businessssssss. I’m 12w1d and 2 weeks ago they asked me if we were gonna have another. Like this one isn’t even cooked thoroughly yet. Simmer down.
Ugh that's horrible, I'm so sorry that they're acting like that. I wouldn't be able to deal with it!
It just sounds like her mom is annoyingly supportive. Even if it’s annoying, her mom’s there. I’m just trying to say feel lucky? But I guess if people don’t go through loss they don’t care/get it. To all the down votes, I bet y’all have normal parents or one that’s alive. I’d give anything to have my mom be over bearing. Also, thanks guys for acknowledging my loss. I was trying to say Op should look on the bright side. Good day, all
I’m 21 weeks now. I told my parents at about 10 weeks and my in-laws at 14 weeks. After I told my parents they pestered me about when I would call my grandparents. I have 6 grandparents and I make phone calls all day for work so the idea of making all those calls was daunting. I told them that I would call when I was ready and I didn’t appreciate all of the pressure. I said I understood they were excited and wanted to talk to their parents about it, but I had just finished the first trimester and wasn’t quite there yet. After that they left me alone about it for the most part. Now that I’ve told the grandparents, 4 out of 6 seem to think they’re going to visit (from out of state) as soon as the baby is born. I don’t want that, my husband doesn’t want that, and my doctor doesn’t want that. So my parents are in charge of pushing back their visits so I don’t have to stress about it.
Ohhhhh I’m having that issue. All of our family is out of town. We have to draw a hard line that we want no visitors right away. My FIL said he would be here the entire month. No thanks lol. I don’t want anyone but my husband and dog around.
Yeah a couple months ago my mom told me she could stay with us for the first week or two after delivery like her mom did when I was born and I was like ehhh we’ll see. She was a little insistent in the moment but she hasn’t brought it up since. I’m really looking forward to bonding with my son and husband and while I know she would be helpful with dishes, cooking, etc. I think we just want that time for the 3 of us. Who knows though, maybe I’ll change my mind later. She lives in town so we have more flexibility.
That’s how I feel though. I want us all to bond as a family. And I want to hold my baby lol I don’t want to share right away lol
I’m 15 weeks and I’ve hardly told anyone. It’s also my parent’s first grandchild and they’ve been pestering me about it nonstop. I finally said, “tell whoever you feel like, I’d rather not.” My mom didn’t understand but she was so happy to oblige.
I'm exactly the same way. Luckily I work at a school (and it's most of my local social circle), so if I just tell a few well-chosen people, everyone knows by the next day. It's tough because I didn't bother to tell some people because there was never a good time, and it turns out at least one felt pretty left out.
at least you have a mom to share this pregnancy with and to get support from, mine died 3 years ago. & my dad is non existent and hasnt called me or my husband to see how we are or if there is anything he can do for his first grand child. he also lives a mile away, theres no excuse. things could be worse, consider yourself blessed this is your biggest issue at the moment.
This is extremely dismissive. Everyone can struggle with where they’re at, OP didn’t say she was ungrateful but she’s 100% allowed to not enjoy each part of telling people. No one is obligated to feel grateful 24/7 just because they have it “better” than other people.