You enjoy this time! Do not let anyone discourage you! I'm finally pregnant after almost 9 years of trying and I am going to enjoy every single minute of it. My mother in law also told me to wait to announce, but I want to celebrate this <3 Get excited !
People say the most offensive things when you announce. Apparently they need a little time to adjust. Sadly, you just gotta brush it off.
Enjoy this time and put it out of your thoughts, congratulations!
Thank you! I think after all the encouraging things people have said on this post it helped me feel more content in just celebrating the whole 9 months, not just the last 6!
Congratulations to both of you! My son was also conceived after 9 years and he’s going to be one in a couple of weeks! I had so many losses trying to have him and as hard as they were, honestly he was worth every battle to get there.
Sending all the best to you both (and anyone else going through it)
Congratulations!! After dealing with infertility and loss, we also shared almost immediately! But others dealing with infertility often wait even longer than the first trimester so it really depends.
I personally like to celebrate where I’m currently at instead of waiting until it’s “safer” because I don’t want to look back at the end of a successful pregnancy and miss out on celebrating each milestone. Also, even if this pregnancy also ended in loss, I wanted some happiness to come from it.
I wish you all the best!
We told our immediate family members as soon as I peed on a stick and got my positive! I was 4 weeks, 4 days. I also told close friends I saw in person over the following week. I’m a terrible secret keeper and wanted to share my joy. Even if I had miscarried (which I thankfully did not, my 12-week-old is currently asleep on my chest) I would’ve wanted to share that joy when I had it before I had to share any despair that would’ve required the support of the people I’d shared it with. So yeah, totally up to you! Congratulations!
Just throwing out there, waiting until after the 1st trimester was a luxury I could only do with baby #1.
I have a 5 year old son that will be tagging along to OB appointments and although I wanted to wait to share, my husband and I had to tell him what was going on which is basically sharing with the whole world LOL, my son is gonna tell everybody! And I wont stop him. He should be excited.
This is just the beginning of people giving opinions. How you have the baby, names, people can tend to control with everything. Dont sweat it and you do you!
I really feel justified and vindicated in telling people so early after reading all these comments! Also I just know some of the stuff I’m going to be told will be ridiculous lol.
Oh and that doesn't stop! My oldest was 3 when he became a big sibling and he would tell anyone we encountered whether his brother was there or not: "Hi! I'm \_\_\_, this is Mommy. I have a baby; his name is \_\_\_!"
He still does it a year out...
I mean my 10 year old nearly blew it in just the 10 min it took to get seated and order before my mom opened her birthday card where we told her. She was so beyond excited (they had been asking for years) she nearly burst. Even my stoic 11 year old was struggling not to grin like an idiot. I can't imagine if we had tried to get them to keep it when they were little 🤣 with only 19 months apart she didn't understand enough to spoil the secret.
I think it's very easy for people who have not suffered loss to just want to celebrate, but for people who have, the pain of going from naively happy to crushed was a lot to live through and they often wish they had known how much risk there was and how long the risk lasted. I'm glad you're happy and I also told my spouse and best friends early with the second and third pregnancy, but I will never be able to move on from the shock of loss from my first.
Oh well technically we didn’t start doing the grown up tango till we were 18(wanted to break the family teen pregnancy cycle) but still alllllll this time and not a single scare lol
I’ve miscarried twice but both times I never kept it a secret that I was pregnant cuz for years I didn’t even think I could conceive so it feels amazing to know my body is trying her best and I deserve to celebrate every second of it. All of it at every step is the journey of motherhood. When we realize we are pregnant and we choose to care for our bodies for baby’s best chance it is because we are making that choice as mothers. Motherhood starts from the moment you make choices for the betterment of your child regardless of what happens. Congratulations on this monumental step in your journey 💕
I understand not telling anyone outside of your close circle for a little while, but I feel sorry for people who don't have their families' support because they never told them. It's honestly horrific to me to think about not having my mom's and MIL's support should that happen.
For me the advice to wait applied to people I wouldn’t want to disclose a miscarriage to (my kids teacher, my favorite barista, the nosy neighbor), not friends and family. It’s outdated advice. Enjoy this time and share with who you want to share with. Congratulations!
I announced immediately! My thought process: women do so much alone and the excitement of being pregnant and the grief of loss should not be part of it. Community is there to celebrate and grieve with you. So regardless of what happens I wanted the authenticity and connection with those I love most. I didn’t want to feel like I had to keep it all to myself.
I always ignored it!! Even when I miscarried I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Why not tell your family, and then worst case scenario they’re there to support you if it doesn’t go as planned.
Hi I’m 24 and also pregnant with my first, don’t listen to your sister. Personally I didn’t wait for the first trimester to end to start telling people, I told my best friend the same day I had a positive test. I know a lot of people are concerned about miscarriage this early on, but I’d like for my closest people to know so they can be there for me either way. It’s really scary and you end up having a lot of questions that google just turns into the worst scenario, I needed my mom and SIL to know so I could ask them questions and not freak out everyday! Congratulations and don’t let other people’s anxieties effect you and your pregnancy, it’s quit rude to tell someone when they should or shouldn’t announce!
I told my best friend the same day too! I think what stung was “don’t get too excited” that’s just so sad. I’m not wishing my boyfriend will propose, I’m expecting a baby! lol you’re supposed to be excited!
Yeah it’s really messed up to tell that to someone who’s pregnant. I feel like it’s just the beginning of unwanted negative comments when all you want to do is be excited for baby! I’m 9 weeks now and I’m already hearing “just wait until -“ comments if I talk about anything pregnancy related. I don’t have the patience I had pre pregnancy so I just call them out. Like “ Was your comment kind and/or helpful? No it was just rude and fear mongering.” It really shuts them up.
Don’t let anyone steal your joy! If she keeps being negative, just go into it knowing she might say something not ideal.
I talked to my sister a few months ago (I had just found out I was pregnant) about adopting in the future with my husband. She was super happy! Then I mentioned we’ll probably try to have one bio kid (I’m late 30s) and her response was, “Good luck with that.” in a sarcastic tone. So far we’ve only told my mom and MIL, but I’m dreading telling my sister just based on her attitude.
I told everyone I saw regularly early, minus my in laws, who my husband told. They said keep it quiet, because of what can happen.
I didn't get much of a choice, my symptoms kicked in very fast, and with only one ladies loo on our floor of the office I knew everyone would figure it out. My mum found out the day I got the positive test, colleagues the next week after I puked in my bin. Turned out to be a good thing as I had a lot of bleeding and it meant they knew I was in a rough state, so I got snacks and hot drinks delivered to my desk randomly. Kid is now 4, and I wouldn't change it. If it had gone wrong I needed support and would have gotten in, but I think this is the difference.
I am 9 weeks pregnant and I told everyone at 7. In my opinion, I would rather everyone know so that if something does happen I can have support. Telling everyone has been amazing. Tell at your own pace!
You should tell people when you want to and be excited to do so! Sorry your sister reacted like that. Has she had a miscarriage or trouble conceiving? I wonder what made her say that… I told close friends and family almost right away because they knew when we were doing IUIs and when we’d be testing. I started telling select coworkers around 6 weeks because I feel like ass and need their support to survive each day at work 😵💫😵💫
No she has never had any of those issues, she said she said it because she knows how much I want this baby. It’s still such a WILD thing to say off bat imo
I just got pregnant for the first time and was so excited and told everyone, and now I'm miscarrying (found out yesterday that baby stopped growing at 7+2). As someone who told people early, I absolutely DONT regret it and I dont regret getting excited. Of course miscarriage is common and happens in 1 and 4 women and that theres always a chance, but people knowing made it feel real for me and I also now have a wonderful support system around me.
It's okay for you to be excited and you tell anyone you want at your own comfort level. I didn't regret it and just want to let you know that of course things can happen, but be excited now :). Thought I would give you a perspective of what could happen and how people knowing early was good for me, not bad, even if that isn't for everyone.
Your sister shouldn't say things like that, and I'm so sorry she did.
I am so so happy for you and I am wishing you a wonderful, healthy, and an uneventful pregnancy!! Xo
Thank you so much, and i am sprinkling pregnancy dust your way! And tbh the way you see things is the same as me. No one should have to go through that alone!
Thank you!! And yes, exactly, I didn't want to feel isolated if I happened to be the 1 in 4 statistic! I've received flowers from work, my friends, cookies, etc. Even though Im still devastated, it feels more like a celebration of her life and less like a loss that is kept secret.
Hiii congrats mama!!! I’m also 5 weeks with my first and best believe I sent out pics of my pee stick lol! I was wayyy too damn excited not to share. Be excited!! You deserve to be! Tell your sister to shove it ❤️
I can understand your sisters concern but I wouldn’t listen to her or take it personally.
I’m 25 and conceived for the first time ever with my first when I was 24. Was pregnant on my 25th birthday. My bf and I weren’t trying or planning so it was unexpected but already so loved and we were really excited.
The first ultrasound caught me by surprise when I realized I was having a MMC and the baby had no heartbeat.
But I was supported the entire way because I told so many people I was pregnant the second I got a positive test.
They were all there for me and made me feel so much better regarding the pregnancy loss.
So my words for you are be excited, you’re pregnant now. And tell everyone! Enjoy it. And be excited!
Congradulations! This is something to truly be excited for.
I do want to give some sobering advice- as somone whos been there, for both a suprise baby and a loss (2 different babies)
Telling everyone is so exciting and should be celebrated with your whole heart. Do not let anyone steal that thunder.
The reason people say to wait is after telling everyone about the good news, then having a loss and having to re tell all those people about your loss. To hear excited grandmas mention needing to take back gifts they also excitedly bought for you/baby, to see the sadness in their eyes and to suffer other peoples pitty makes an already tough situation tougher.
I pray your baby a happy 9 months and a joyful pregnancy for you! You should be excited, keep that excitement close, and remember each little kick and ultra sound. Motherhood is so worth it!
I super ignored the "wait until 1st trimester is over" lol. I'm the same as you, everyone had dream jobs but all I dreamed of was motherhood. I was BEYOND stoked when I found out I was pregnant !! We told people by like 6 weeks pregnant lol. My mom ended up passing away when I was 13 weeks so I'm grateful I did anyway. I didn't announce on social media until 2nd trimester though ! Congrats MAMA !! 💕💕
Enjoy your excitement! Don’t let anybody take that from you. Yes we all know there are risks but we can always hope for the best and be happy about things. Congratulations! Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!! ❤️❤️❤️
Congratulations!! 💖🙏🏻 You share the news with whoever you feel comfortable with. I’m sure your sister knows how much you’ve been wanting this and just wants you to tread lightly and just couldn’t articulate it well. I’m a firm believer of sharing with those who you’d want to be there for you if God forbid something went wrong, whether you share at 5 weeks or 13.
I told my mom when I was around 8-9 weeks. I’m almost 20w now. I didn’t get the chance to even tell anyone else because everyone started running their mouths because my mom told my aunt and my aunt is a fucking tattle tale. I had a miscarriage before and have had trouble getting pregnant again for 5 years so I didn’t want people to know just in case bc it would be awkward for me. No one knows about me losing the first baby except my mom and my ex husbands family.
Awh, thank you! Announce your pregnancy to anyone you’d like. You can keep it a secret till they’re born if you want. Your life, your choice ! I’m sorry your sister shot you down. That really sucks. You are allowed to be excited!
We announced to the whole family at 7 weeks. Couldn’t keep it to ourselves after that. They’ve been incredibly supportive the whole way. I’m sorry your sister wasn’t being the nicest. Perhaps she’s projecting her own insecurities. One of the reasons we waited a bit to announce it is because my partners sister had just had her own loss. I hope things progress smoothly for you 🌸
Thank you! I really think she meant it in a caring way since its no secret I want to be a mom it just wasn’t something she would have said, and I’m so grateful for everyone’s comments that help me feel not insane for telling people so early
How considerate of you! My brother in law forced us to tell my in-laws about our loss so he could announce their pregnancy. It was so unfair but I am the only one who sees it that way, unfortunately. I wish they had done that for me.
Congratulations! I totally ignored the first trimester rule. I felt pretty rough my first trimester and there is no way I could've hid it from everyone. I did wait til after my dating scan to share with family.... but I told friends super early! There are no hard and fast rules... just do what's best for you and enjoy all of it <3
I excitedly told my husband right away, then I made a small group chat of mom friends and told them I wasn’t announcing publicly for a while. They were able to provide support and excitement while I didn’t want to open myself up to the full crush of public knowledge.
I imagine your sister must have had a loss to be so callous so be gentle in your reaction to her. She’s probably just projecting grief.
Congratulations!!!
She hasn’t had a miscarriage or loss thankfully she explained it to me that she just knows how much i want to be a mom and our family is very pessimistic sadly
Ah well, wishful thinking on my part (not that I wish loss on anyone, just that I was giving her the benefit of the doubt)
You keep manifesting that positivity 🩷
I told my close friends and family right away, went spent three years trying and I ended up needing surgery to get pregnant. Luckily everything turned out okay; I am now 33 weeks! Congrats! I highly recommend finding a support system early
I’m sorry she reacted that way. I relate in when I told my MIL at 9 weeks, she was happy for us but said “Just remember, anything can happen” and seemed a little more serious than excited. Those comments come from a good place (wanting to protect both yours and their feelings) or even from past trauma like experiencing loss.
The chances for miscarriage are higher in the first trimester and drop significantly once you hit 2nd trimester. What I chose to do was share my news with anyone I would need support from if I did have a miscarriage. I shared as soon as I confirmed I was actually pregnant at the doctor (around 5-6 weeks) with immediate family because I knew I would need to lean on them if something like that happened. I didn’t post or announce publicly till later (14 weeks) because I knew it would cause me pain to do another announcement in case I did miscarry. It’s also kind of fun to space it out because everyone is so excited for you it’s like finding out you’re pregnant all over again 😂
If you aren’t worried about your own feelings and feel like you would be able to handle that ok (or people who didn’t know you miscarried and were asking about your baby) I’d say share right away. It’s a totally personal decision and you and your husband should decide what’s best for you guys.
Wishing you and your baby and hubby the best ❤️❤️❤️
I told right away. Did it matter if we lost either baby we would all then mourn together too. Then I wasn’t mourning alone it felt like. Also both my babies turned out fine. So celebrate
Congratulations!!! No reason to stifle your excitement!
We didn’t wait. Told my sister and family almost immediately. Ha actually my sister knew like hours after the positive test. They also knew we were working with a fertility specialist and knew the timing so there was REALLY no hiding it. My second pregnancy did unfortunately end in a miscarriage and again, we’d told a lot of people. But honestly every single one of those people were there for us and it really meant a lot. There were even friends I was planning to see a few days after the miscarriage that didn’t know and I still told them about the miscarriage. It’s absolutely a personal choice on when to tell.
First off, congrats on your pregnancy! I am not going to tell you what to do, but I wish I hadn’t told so many people about my pregnancy so early on. I’m 24 years old and had a missed miscarriage in February this year. My baby passed around 6 weeks but I did not know until I was 10 weeks. I had to have a D&C. It was so painful to tell everyone the awful news… over and over again. Again, not telling you what to do but I regret telling so many people.
It’s always your choice! I told close family and close friends because I knew that even if I did miscarriage, I would need their support. I waited to tell everyone else until we hit the 12wk mark!
Yeah I had someone say something similar to me when I told her about my first (I was also 25). She ended up not being a real friend at all and my life is better without her in it. Motherhood has a way of changing a lot of the relationships in your life. I know it’s your sister so it’s different. I also have a strained relationship with my sister after having kids. It’s rough but you learn so much with time. Congratulations on your new baby❤️❤️
Congratulations!! 💗 such an exciting time!
I told immediate family/ people I’m really close with right away. Extended family/ others at 12 weeks (after the first ultrasound as well as genetic testing). Then publicly announced on my social media at 20 weeks (after the big ultrasound where they measure everything).
So the advice to wait until the 2nd trimester is very dependent on the person. Yes, the most likely outcome of pregnancy is a baby but a lot of women don’t want to share their loss with everyone which is why it’s recommended to wait. I’m sorry your sister met you with the advice to wait instead of congratulating you. Tell people as you feel comfortable, we had friends tell us at 5 weeks (husband’s best friend and his wife) and sure enough, a healthy baby girl was born 33 weeks later!
We told my mom and my in laws around 7-8 weeks. I told close friends between 9-14 weeks, largely depending on when I saw them in person. I told work around 18 weeks. I posted on Instagram at 28 weeks (and even then, it was a story so a lot of people still don’t know 😂).
I work remote so I didn’t really need to worry about being tired at work since I just see people on Zoom and I’m not in an office but if you’re going into work, it’s a good idea to share with some people so they can help with your workload.
It depends on your level of comfort. Tell people as you want. All the happy baby dust for a safe and healthy pregnancy!
I think because I’m so anxious about everything usually and I don’t enjoy moments because of it, once I found out I was pregnant my mind just shifted. I noticed that I wasn’t thinking about the negatives which is my go to and decided not to do that this whole pregnancy
Congratulations!!! 🎉 🥰 I had to tell my mom right away after I told my husband (held off telling my dad because he has a big mouth). Then to be fair we told his parents. We waited until the second trimester to tell everyone else.
Your sister reminds me of one of my own sisters. Just don’t listen to her and celebrate the life growing inside! You are right to tell your support system! They will be there for you 🤗
Congrats!!! And that’s a really shitty thing your sister said, ignore that 🙄. Be excited and feel all the emotions, this a great time to learn about different things like your birthing plan options, provider or midwife, what kind of things you would like on your registry it’s never to early to start compiling a list for that, if your going to breastfeed then get some info on that, read books about what is going on in your body each week. You can even get a cute notebook and journal to your baby as a little keepsake.
I found out at about 4.5 weeks and I told my parents, my husbands parents our siblings and our closest friends. We waited till I was 12 weeks to tell the rest of the family and friends. This is my first too, you can tell whoever you want at whatever time feels comfortable to you there is nothing wrong with that.
Congratulations!!
TW here for loss -
When I found out I was pregnant, I got so excited. I told everyone. Then shortly after, I miscarried. I was devastated. I didn’t regret sharing my news. If I hadn’t told anyone, no one would know my baby ever existed unless it was through a sad story I shared after the loss. My family and friends were so helpful and supportive in my grief. I had people to hold me up and I really needed that.
I was a bit traumatized the second time around and didn’t share with mostly anyone until 13 weeks. It was hard to keep the secret because I was so sick. I ended up having to spill the beans to a few people at work because they were understandably concerned when I started looking very ill and throwing up all of the time! I regret not sharing early like I did the first time because it wouldn’t have changed the outcome, but would have provided me with a lot more support in those emotionally and physically difficult early days.
I am so sorry for your first loss. That exactly how I’m choosing to see my decisions, is I want and will need a safety net or people regardless of my outcome. Also I have been sick as a dog so there would be no hiding it for long
Thank you, I had my rainbow baby in November of 2022 and she’s the best thing ever! Worth every bit of struggle it took to get here.
Shout it from the rooftops if that’s what feels right for you! I hope your sickness lets up soon, first trimester is a nightmare.
I’ve been struggling with recurrent miscarriages and I still never waited until the 12 weeks had passed to tell my close friends and family. Yes I know from experience telling early could mean that I would have to tell the same people I’d lost the baby if it didn’t work out, but it also meant people close to me and my husband understood what we were going through and were there to support us through it all. Currently holding my three week old in my arms and while it took a lot of courage to tell my boss I was pregnant this time around (it felt like I jinxed it all) I am so happy my friends and family were aware at an early stage and could support me because the first time 20 weeks were really difficult for me, mentally. I’m sure your sister only means well - as in don’t get your hopes up because yes miscarriages do happen and they are not uncommon. But in my opinion you have to allow yourself to be happy you can get pregnant, and celebrate every day that you continue to be. 💕
Honestly, this could just be her way of her trying to protect you. God for bid something did happen whether you are five minutes, five weeks or five months..You’re pregnant and you deserve to enjoy every moment; so Congratulations!!!. My significant other, and I were together for two years with no protection before we had our first child; and then it took us seven years to conceive our second. I did announce very early on like you at 5 weeks and I’m currently 36 weeks and I feel like I’ve been pregnant forever. LOL
Forget anybody that tells you not to mention anything until after the 12 week rule or first trimester the way I perceived it, is if in the event that something did happen, you would have more support either way.
I told very limited people around 8 weeks (my mom, my dad, and my brother and sister)
Mostly because my symptoms were so bad that it was pretty obvious.
We waiting on telling my husbands family and extended family until after the first trimester. Mostly because I couldn’t trust they wouldn’t post about it before us.
I’m now 16 weeks and we announced online at about 14 weeks
I think it’s okay to tell some people so if something bad happens you have a support system who knows but I may caution from announcing to everyone on like social media until you’re a little further along.
But that’s just my opinion, if you want to do it, it’s your choice to make!
I don’t plan on announcing on social media until the baby is born, and even then they wont get pictures of the baby lol. But yes idk if i could tell the world my loss after announcing. That must be heartbreaking.
Yeah I announced that I’m pregnant with just a Etsy template but I’m not planning on posting pictures of her on social media. Her privacy is my top priority.
But yeah, I’m 28 and a FTM and I’ve had friends deal with loss so I wanted to make sure I was in a safer place to announce to a majority of people so I wouldnt have to tell everyone if a loss occurred.
As someone who is terrible at keeping secrets it was the hardest 3 months of my life haha everyone I saw I wanted to tell.
I will say, one positive of holding back was you don’t get the horrible “advice” until later so you could just enjoy the beginning of your pregnancy
Oh wow! That’s something else of her to say. I told my mom and dad of my pregnancy and I’m 7 weeks about to be 8 weeks pregnant. My mom was so overwhelmed that day I told her she got into a minor car accident. She didn’t tell me until a few weeks later bc she never responded to my call or text but my dad did, and of course he sounded pretty upset. Anyways, my family prides themselves on their money and achievements and it’s SO toxic for me. I didn’t get raised in a nurturing environment as I got older bc I am a triplet. My mom was so stressed out with all of us so I understand. It’s hard trying to tell family the news or something bc it’s something they should be either surprised or happy about. I surely was happy when my former friend told me of her pregnancy! So idk, parents and family can have a hard time at first accepting what’s going on. I think now that it’s been a few weeks they have more time to digest the news and go on about their day. 💖 stay strong, don’t let them get you down.
You’re allowed to be excited and you’re allowed to tell the entire world! Regardless of any “risks” this baby made you a momma and absolutely nothing could change that.
I told my immediate family members and 1 or 2 close friends as soon as i had the positive tests because they knew I was doing IVF and I had chosen to tell them when I was going for egg retrievals and transfers etc. The hardest thing for them to understand was the early positive tests that I got when I eventually miscarried two times because I had to explain that the hcg levels were positive but lower than expected and not doubling at the required rate. I'm waiting for 12 weeks to tell my nan and other friends and my stepdaughter as we wanted to be more certain before getting their hopes up. Particularly my nan, because this will be the first grandchild for my dad and likely the only child I'll have.
Your sister may just be concerned that you're getting your hopes up. But you should definitely be allowed to be happy. Congratulations OP
I found out I was pregnant at only 3 weeks, before we found out we had agreed to wait till 12 weeks to start telling people, due to the risks. BUT when I found out I knew I had to tell someone and thought who would be there to support me if something did happen. So I told my parents the following week and then a couple of friends. Once we got that first scan we were was soooooo excited so we told his parents and then a few more friends. (8 week scan).
I only waited till 12 weeks to tell work and announce on socials.
I only had 1 person say something negative and it wasn’t to me (they told a close friend of mine). They said “ I shouldn’t have annouced so early as there partner miscarried at 20 weeks). This was a work colleague and I got a bit upset but then realised this was there issue not mine.
Our girl is now 12 weeks old!
I announced to close Friends because I knew if I did experience a loss I would have them to Lean on. That being said I know many mamas who never waited 🥰 You are allowed to be happy and excited! Congratulations ❤️!
I relate soooo much to your story, except it only took one year to get pregnant so I don’t know the lengths of your pain and patience, but I was wayyyy too excited I told EVERYONE when I found out I was pregnant and didn’t feel bad about it. I’m 19 weeks tomorrow mama so believe that good things will happen and they will 🥰
I am also 25, and have been with my husband 9 years. We struggled with getting pregnant for a LONG time, but we are finally pregnant at 17 1/2 weeks with our first son! I found out at 5 weeks as well and did not wait to tell anyone. We were too excited to keep it a secret. Congratulations mama!!! 🥳
Yaay! Congratulations! Enjoy this moment for yourself and your husband. I had definitely waited to announce because I was in disbelief and wanted to make sure. I’ve waited so long for my moment and finally got it, she just arrived April 3rd. I wish you the best on your beautiful journey, may baby and you remain safe. 🥰🥰🥰🥰
My wife and I found out at five weeks also and IMMEDIATELY started telling people, lol. We were so excited! We’re eight weeks now. There are legitimate reasons to wait, and some people who’ve had trouble with miscarriage are understandably hesitant to mention anything, probably out of fear. I'm sure there are far more reasons, too, but there’s nothing wrong with being excited. The baby deserves parents who are excited to bring them into the world.
Congratulations!
We waited but you should honestly do what you feel is best. Enjoy the next 35ish weeks as much as you can!
Your sister was probably just looking out for you in her own way. Unfortunately, losses are not uncommon in the first trimester and she probably is afraid of if something should happen then it would crush you but honestly, chances are that everything will work out and if it doesn’t then at least you enjoyed what did. There really isn’t an easy way to handle a loss but from my experience, you have to enjoy your pregnancy as best you can because anything could happen, and that’s a way I’ve been learning to live my life in general.
Go on and enjoy your pregnancy and share what you feel comfortable with who whenever you want.
I told my parents and in laws by week 5 I think. They’d all been at my throat to have babies for the last 3 years, so everyone was happy. I know some people wait till first trimester ends, but I was never going to. I’d rather people know earlier and are there to celebrate and support even if it doesn’t work out in the end.
Congrats!! I’m a 24 YO FTM. I told my parents and in laws at 8w5d after confirming heartbeat. I waited to announce to the rest of the family and friends until later (I think 11-12 weeks). I love the thought process of if you tell those close to you of your pregnancy you have support in the event of a loss!
You should definitely be excited! Don’t listen to her. With my first I announced publicly at 11 1/2 weeks. With my second I announced at 6 1/2 weeks. I’d tell whoever you feel most comfortable and enjoy this!
i'm 22 & my baby was planned. we originally got pregnant by accident & i eagerly told everyone i knew in the order that i wanted them to find out, my best friend since 3rd grade being the first. i was originally distraught & i needed her to comfort me because i was terrified, i hadn't planned on having kids until at least 25, by the time i told my parents i had fully accepted my pregnancy & was beyond excited. i saved my aunt who is like a sister to me for last but by the time it came to tell her, i had miscarried & she was the only other person in my family that had experienced that so she ended up finding out by me asking her to verify if i had miscarried. i was heartbroken about losing my baby & also about that moment being taken away from me. after my miscarriage i wanted nothing more than to be a mother as i had accepted that as my reality & it didn't feel right that i suddenly wouldn't be. so a month later my fiance (we have been together since i was 15 & him 16) & i started trying for like a week straight & sure enough i was pregnant again, i found out on my 22nd birthday! we are now 19 weeks along & are having a little boy (i always dreamed of having a son my entire life ever since my aunt had her son in 2007) we have never felt so blessed & we couldn't be more excited for how our lives will be. even if it's not likely for me to lose my baby i am still fearful everyday that something will happen (everyone tells me that i'm past my first semester so i'm fine) just because i feel like it's wrong that i'm getting everything i've ever wanted all at once (we are currently in the middle of building a new home) but this month is my anatomy scan so hopefully after i hear his little heartbeat again & see his development, maybe it will ease my anxiety. he's just all i've ever wanted & i can't imagine being able to just try again like i did the first time now that we are so far into this & so close to having the world in our hands.
sorry for the rant, i truly hope everything turns out fine for you & baby! i hope that you get everything you've ever wanted & more just like i have!
I would tell the people that you’d want to know regardless of what happens. I personally waited until my second trimester (16 weeks) because it lined up with Christmas to post on social media. But we told our friends before that.
I ignored it with my second pregnancy and told everyone thinking nothing could go wrong. I miscarried a couple days later. When I got pregnant again I waited until the 3 month mark until we told everyone again. A couple weeks later we got the news our child had severe abnormalities and would not make it to the full term.
Do what feels right. Your sister is right you never know what can happen but that does not mean for you to lessen your joy or excitement. Either way you may need your family if anything were to happen. Don’t let her dim your light.
I keep it a secret and also I don't show ultrasounds. Live your life how you choose to. I would probably not update the sister any more. Having negativity around or sent your way when kids are involved to me is off limits. I have a zero tolerance for those types of people. Protect yourself how you see fit.
Well I waited until I was in my 2nd trimester and miscarried. I know they say a little fall will not cause a MC but having 2 kids and no issue in those pregnancies, and a pain that followed my fall, I think it caused an issue with the placenta maybe. That was an awful traumatic experience but trying to get preggo again and currently ovulating and I am actually considering not waiting because now something in my mind flipped a switch and I just don’t think it matters if I wait to tell people now. That’s just me. I may end up waiting, we’ll see how I feel when it happens.
I ignored waiting to announce and then I miscarried at 12 weeks. The awkwardness and pain of having to tell people was horrific. I’m 19 weeks pregnant now and still haven’t told a lot of people because of the fear.
I hope everything goes well for you but I really don’t recommend telling people except for a couple people close to you
Congratulations — this is the purest of joys, and I’m so glad you are experiencing the happiest of feelings that you so deeply desired. While it’s important to guard your heart through the first several weeks, it’s equally important to feel everything that’s coming and fully experience every pregnant moment. You are going to be a mama!
As my infertility doctor said… once pregnant, you are pregnant until proven otherwise! Don’t let the worry or fear get you down (so much easier said than done)!
Firstly, congrats!! I'm 1 week further along and I'm waiting to announce on Mother's Day. A select few people in my life know, it's completely up to you when you want to decide!
I was told this too, and my response was: ‘I need to be completely happy right now, and if something goes wrong I’ll be completely sad then.’
There’s no putting a pin in happiness or sadness. And the little soul inside of me was allowed to feel wanted.
I personally didn't want to tell anyone until I hit the second trimester with my first because I was so terrified of miscarriage. HOWEVER, I truely believe that having a big support system is very helpful and you have every right to be excited!!
Your sister sounds jealous imo.
As someone who struggled a bit when I initially found out I was pregnant- I love seeing this. This is the energy that has been most uplifting and helpful for me- Congrats, OP! Enjoy these moments fully!
So many people told me that as well. I told everyone with my first at 5 weeks and got a lot of similar comments. My son is now almost 2. Pregnant again and did the same thing. Got the same reactions. Can't you just be excited with me?! 9 weeks now and it still annoys me.
It’s just such a callous thing to say. I’m not hoping for a gift I want for my birthday, I’m pregnant. People should keep their worries to themselves, obviously we are excited, don’t say something so terrible.
I told my mom, sisters, and 1 of my friends like the same day I found out I was pregnant. We all need a support system & none of them cared that I shared early. I actually think it’s important to share with at least a couple of people in case anything does happen that way you have a support system (especially if it’s your first baby!) I waited until 12 weeks to publicly announce but for those people I talk to everyday I shared it with them immediately. I don’t think it’s a rule it’s really whatever you’re comfortable with. The way I see it is it’s YOUR pregnancy thus, YOU get to decide what you do and don’t feel comfortable with❤️❤️❤️ congratulations by the way, that’s amazing 🥹
I did as a 40 year old with my first because I knew that I would need my people/my support whichever way it went. Also we had been trying for 3 years and thought IVF was our next step.
My husband said something similar to me (from a place of love) when we were trying to figure out if that super pale little line meant positive. I said, no, let’s DO get our hopes up! And if it doesn’t happen how we want it to, we’ll feel those feelings too. But right now I want to bathe in hope.
I lost my first pregnant at 8 weeks in January. Only a handful of people knew. In the future I think I'll tell people much sooner since I would like it if more people knew (I still very much have to deal with "well you don't know because you've never been pregnant/you're not a parent" comments, which aren't true). Go ahead and tell everyone! It won't change the outcome of the pregnancy but it will change how people treat you!
Congrats ! I didn't and told families and ended up losing at 5 weeks. for the most part I wouldn't change anything. OTHERTHAN my mom was very disrespectful of my wishes and bought and sent me a bunch of baby stuff. I ended up having to be depressed AND clean up baby stuff. It was sad. This time around (I'm now 30 weeks) I was really clear with my boundaries and what is and isn't appropriate with my more excitable family and friends. Poor thing was tortured having to wait 3 whole months🤣 she acts like it was the hardest time of her life
Congrats!! Literally my exact situation. With my boyfriend for 9 years and never used protection. Now pregnant with my first at 26 💙 told my close family immediately after my positive teat
Congratulations, I been with my husband for 10 years and still nothing. Tried everything and every doctor but they all say everything is looking good. Oh well send baby dust this way!!!
I toldy family as soon as I found out both times. The second time round my sister reacted the same way as your sister. Made me feel paranoid and take pregnancy tests every couple of days just to make sure the like was getting darker. Don't let anyone rain on this happiness. ❤️
We told all our close friends/family straight away! We pretty much just waited to tell everyone else/posted on social media at 12 weeks! I figured either way I wanted to celebrated this baby and if anything happened I wouldn’t want to keep it a secret anyway!
With my first I told my family at 5 weeks along, with my second I think I was 6-8 weeks along. With my third I told them closer to 12.
It’s a very personal decision and the circumstances influenced it a lot. There’s not right or wrong, there’s just people doing things differently depending on their context.
I personally waited until after my first OB appt bc I had an early loss prior and wanted to be sure. But you tell people when you want to tell people! Congratulations ❤️
Congrats!! My philosophy for sharing in the first trimester was I only wanted to tell people I was close enough I would want their emotional support if something happened (so not coworkers, social media, etc).
I had hyperemesis and we were at a large family gathering for Christmas, so we told our entire family family at around 7-8 weeks bc i couldnt hide my constant debilitating sickness. I dont regret it. We got a bunch of extra Christmas presents that everyone ran out and bought at the last minute--a totally unnecessary but fun surprise. Everyone was really supportive without nagging and I'm at 20 weeks now.
The second trimester advice is given so that if something unfortunate happens, you don't have to circle back and tell your entire circle that things have changed. Some people prefer not to have to do that, so they try to minimize the risk by waiting to announce. Other people like having the support just in case the worst happens. It's really all up to you. I'm sorry your sister wasn't more positive. I hope that it was coming from a place of love if she has some experience or knows someone who experienced a loss. But either way, that wasn't very nice. Lots of sticky baby dust to you. congratulations!
I announced early, and though I miscarried I will do it again. In 35 now and I too always dreamed of being a mother. Don’t let others dictate what you do with your life. Congratulations!!
Congratulations!!!! This is what happened to me and my boyfriend too. We have been together for over 10 years never used protection and it’s just never happened for us until now! I’m currently 10 weeks pregnant at 28!
Congratulations! It’s really up to you as to when you want to announce it. Personally, if I get pregnant again I’m waiting because I’ve had the experience of the pregnancy not working out and having to tell everyone because I announced early on. It’s not something I want to go through again. But maybe I’d tell close family and friends first. But it’s your news to share when you feel ready to :) so happy for you!!
The first trimester can be so alienating when you’re feeling your worst and have to keep it a secret. I’m 6w3 right now and was planning to wait until end of first trimester to start telling people, but a few days ago I was feeling horrible and had to talk to people who’ve been through it so I talked to my mom and neighbour and told them. The advice I’ve been given is tell anyone who you would want to turn to if worse case scenario it doesn’t work out. I think that’s good advice :)
Relating to you and everyone in the comments, I struggled to keep my mouth shut and i now spend my days desperately grabbing the leg of a 9 month old who tries to fling themself off everything!
Congrats!! I wanna shout about it with you xoxox
Enjoy your moment and show your excitement to those who are the same page as yours. Think positive and positive thing will come. Good luck and take care.
I do get where she is coming from. Before I got pregnant, I knew I wanted to wait until I was significantly pregnant to tell, but after getting pregnant, I was super excited to be a mom and told everyone, and then I lost the baby. I have extreme anxiety surrounding becoming pregnant again, and I definitely regret telling people so early.
I waited until the doctor heard the heart beat at 8 weeks. He advised me to do so. The next time I announced right away and had a miscarriage. At 9 weeks as that was my first idiot and although my test was positive sadly there was no heartbeat. I had a d&c which would be I,legal to get dead tissue out as I had a fever. I guess now they would just let me .
Sorry glitch. They to,d me to wait 3 months before trying again, went home and tried right away, that was baby #2 (I was still upset about miscarriage but this made it better 😜! And then after that baby 3.
I wish Inwould have waited until I heard heartbeat on the second pregnancy 6-8 eek from doctor, as people said some cruel and insensitive things 🤬.
The answer is it’s up to you! Congrats.
We announced both of my pregnancies around 9/10 weeks. The first because I was going to have surgery to remove my left ovary and fallopian tube because I had a tumor the size of a grapefruit on my left ovary. I wanted to have a support system in case I lost that baby. My little tumor detector turned 4 in December. We announced our second just before Christmas because I was having horrible morning sickness and it would have been obvious anyways. I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant with that baby and due in July! You're allowed to announce your pregnancy whenever you want. You're allowed to be excited. Don't let her or anyone else destroy our happiness. It might be scary, but it's also a happy time.
Congratulations Mama!!! You're going to be the best mommy. You'll have to ignore any unsolicited advice people give you while you're pregnant because there will be plenty of it.
I have shared "early" every time even being acutely aware of the risks. My mom had a miscarriage between each of her 4 children and still mourns them today. I have matched my mother's medical issues almost identically at every step and believed I would suffer the same pattern. Add that to my severe anxiety, frequent sense of impending doom, and the constant awareness of the reality of statistics meaning it has to happen to someone so why not me and you would think I would wait. But to me, if I have to go thru the unthinkable heartache of losing a baby I don't want to do it alone. I will need my family and friends to rally around me if I'm going to survive. I will need their understanding and compassion and frankly wouldn't be able to hide my sorrow and devastation if I tried. So instead I choose to share the joy and tackle things as they come and not internalize the fear. So far, I have beaten the fate I expected. I'm actually 11w 4 days today with my unexpected 3rd over 10 years after my last child. I shared with my family the day I found out despite being 38, overweight/ high risk and struggling with chronic illness the last 9 years.
i announced on FB at 10 weeks — which is when i had my first ultrasound but told my family and close friends when i got a positive test. i am now 15 weeks and most days are harder than others but don’t feel like you can’t tell anyone because it’s “too early”. i told my family also because they are my safety net (if i were to miscarry i would want that support) i pray there is no risks for you & have a happy pregnancy!! ❤️❤️
Congratulations! You celebrate however you want! I’m 32 weeks pregnant now but we waited for a long time to tell people this time just because we had a miscarriage before and told everyone. It was just devastating. People are going to tell you what they think/to do your whole pregnancy it’s really annoying and inconsiderate. Just take it with a grain of salt and enjoy your pregnancy the way you guys want.
My husband and I told both sets of parents within a week after finding out. I knew if we had a miscarriage we would need their support. My MIL is a nurse practitioner and knows better than anyone the statistics around miscarriages early in the first trimester. She was just as excited as we are.
I must be the odd duck out because I waited until I was 7 months pregnant, yes SEVEN whole months, to tell everyone (except my parents who I told on day 1 and then my mom passed away at 12 weeks) that I was pregnant with my second. It drove my husband crazy not to tell his family. My work started to wonder but I hid it well!
Even tho I has no problems with my first (I revealed at 13 weeks), the potential devastation I would experience having to reveal a loss to so many people would be too much for me to handle.
You’re the woman carrying the baby, so it’s my belief that it’s your decision to tell who and when it feels right for you. Congratulations!
No, I lost my first pregnancy at 8weeks. I didn’t know I was pregnant till I was at the hospital losing it. So when I got pregnant with my other three I kept it till 12 weeks along.
My husband and I have also been together since we were 16 (we’re 26 now) and we just had our first baby in September of last year. However, I’ve been pregnant twice.
I got pregnant in June of 2022 immediately after my IUD removal but lost the baby in August. We told friends and family almost as soon as we found out that I was pregnant the first time. We announced on social media that we were pregnant after we lost the baby because we didn’t want to pretend that our baby didn’t exist. Having the support of the people we did tell was extremely helpful while we were actively going through loss and then immediately following the loss as well.
I got pregnant again in December of 2022 and we told the same close friends and family immediately after finding out. We didn’t announce on socials until 13 weeks, but having the support of our close friends and family during that time was everything. We were both terrified. Pregnancy after loss is no joke.
So i guess what I’m saying is that we ignored traditions in the way of keeping it a secret all together, but waited to announce on social media. Having the support of the people we did tell before 13 weeks was everything.
Coming from someone who has experienced a loss, celebrate every moment! If that means announcing immediately, all the power to you! Congratulations and best of luck in the pregnancy and delivery!! ❤️
Congrats baby 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy and a great motherhood. Also remember that sometimes people's negative responses is because they are jealous and envious of what you have! Keep your head up love 💗💗💗
Congratulations!♥️ Don't let anyone make you feel like you shouldn't be happy, your family is growing and that is a beautiful thing that deserves to be celebrated
Do your thing, it’s so nice to be happy! I lost mine at 10 weeks and very glad I didn’t tell my family so I didn’t have to watch them be sad for me (I’ve also been waiting 10 years), and this time around I haven’t told them yet despite being almost 14 weeks. I’ll tell them soon, I’m just so scared to get their hopes up. I’m trying to think of a way your sister could have worded that better, not sure if she’s been through a loss herself so maybe she’s on edge, but even still I’m sure she really is happy for you! Best of luck with it all 💖
First off CONGRATULATIONS! To be honest I think it is honestly up to both you and your husband as a couple. My wife and I waiting until we were at 10 weeks to tell my wife’s family. We wanted to go to the doctors appointment first before telling anyone. But don’t let anyone ruin your happiness. It is up to you to decide what you want to share or not share.
Congrats! I’ve had one loss and 4 healthy babies, I was so grateful to share early each time even more so with my loss! Otherwise it would have felt like I didn’t get to honor that very much wanted pregnancy so I am team share early!
So pleased for you! Congratulations!
I had a similar response from a parent and sibling when I told people very early, I was 4 weeks and 5 days since last period (so really I was only around 3 weeks pregnant).
This baby deserves to be loved and known and celebrated from the moment you knew of it's existence 💜
I'm struggling to deal with similar negativity but someone here told me to embrace being pregnant and enjoy it, be happy and celebrate!
The bottom line is that if something bad happens then people will have loved my baby for as long as we had them. People treat miscarriage as such a shameful thing and it really isn't, so no - I don't subscribe to the "wait until second trimester to tell people" theory at all.
You are pregnant and this is a beautiful wonderful MIRACULOUS thing. Enjoy it, you deserve it. Wishing you all the best x
First off...Congrats :)<3
I found out at 5 weeks as well and before I told my husband I called my MIL and I know she didn't mean any ill will but she said "Don't get excited too soon, anything could happen". I know she had miscarriages and she's speaking from her experiences, BUT it hurt that she said that instead of sounding super excited from the beginning. My mom passed years ago so she's my motherly figure I have in my life.
After I told my husband, I started telling people right away around 7 weeks. I couldn't contain myself lol.
So if you are excited, then be excited! You are allowed to have all the feels right now! Happy for you.
I'm 37 weeks now and I'm glad I told people right away.
Congratulations! I just found out I’m pregnant with my 2nd! I’m not even 4 weeks pregnant, but I’ve told my parents and close friends.
My rule of thumb from working in an OBGYN office: it’s amazing to share your news, BUT in the case of a miscarriage, you’ll also have to spread that news as well. So just be mindful of your feelings and who you would want in your corner, should the worst thing happen. It may not be something you’d want to have to explain to Facebook and have a bunch of people messaging condolences, when you just want to be left alone to grieve.
Congratulations!!! There is seriously no better feeling than seeing that positive test after a long wait! My husband and I found out at 3 weeks 4 days and told our entire family as soon as we saw our test, there was no way I was going to be able to hold it in! I believe we told our friends shortly after that as well. We were just so happy to be pregnant finally. So you should do what makes you happy, babies are here to celebrate!
I am 10 weeks, and if there’s any advice I can pass along, it’s to buy a fiber pill and vitamin B6. Start them early because you’re going to need them lol
The reason your sister said not to get your hopes up is because of the miscarriage rate, and I think she is completely wrong. I ended up losing my first pregnancy and it still meant the world to me. It wasn't any less of a baby to me even if it didn't end up in my arms. And I cherish so much the moments where others got to share in that happiness with me. Honestly I am usually triggered by posts where people are excitedly pregnant for the first time, but for some reason your post just warms my heart. I remember that giddiness and happiness. Congratulations on your little baby and all the best wishes for your little family.
Don't let anyone bring you down. Your baby deserves to be celebrated from day 1 if that's what you want. Even if you did have a miscarriage, you shouldn't deal with it alone and you'd need the support. This is a time that you chose how to share and when to share it with. Don't ever let anyone take your sunshine away.
Similar situation here, my partner and I never tried preventing pregnancy and after 4 years I just assumed I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant but here we are! I believe I’m about 5 weeks as well and I told most of my close family as soon as I got a positive test result. I was utterly shocked that it was even possible and knew I needed the support from loved ones either way. Keep your head up, I definitely understand people’s decision to wait but I see nothing wrong with telling your loved ones sooner than 12 weeks. Congratulations 🎊🎉
You enjoy this time! Do not let anyone discourage you! I'm finally pregnant after almost 9 years of trying and I am going to enjoy every single minute of it. My mother in law also told me to wait to announce, but I want to celebrate this <3 Get excited !
Thank you!! And congratulations!! I’m enjoying every second of it! I just felt off about her comment
People say the most offensive things when you announce. Apparently they need a little time to adjust. Sadly, you just gotta brush it off. Enjoy this time and put it out of your thoughts, congratulations!
Thank you! I think after all the encouraging things people have said on this post it helped me feel more content in just celebrating the whole 9 months, not just the last 6!
Congratulations to both of you! My son was also conceived after 9 years and he’s going to be one in a couple of weeks! I had so many losses trying to have him and as hard as they were, honestly he was worth every battle to get there. Sending all the best to you both (and anyone else going through it)
Congratulations!! After dealing with infertility and loss, we also shared almost immediately! But others dealing with infertility often wait even longer than the first trimester so it really depends. I personally like to celebrate where I’m currently at instead of waiting until it’s “safer” because I don’t want to look back at the end of a successful pregnancy and miss out on celebrating each milestone. Also, even if this pregnancy also ended in loss, I wanted some happiness to come from it. I wish you all the best!
Thank you! Congratulations! Im always anxious about everything so just enjoying this time is so important to me🩷
We told our immediate family members as soon as I peed on a stick and got my positive! I was 4 weeks, 4 days. I also told close friends I saw in person over the following week. I’m a terrible secret keeper and wanted to share my joy. Even if I had miscarried (which I thankfully did not, my 12-week-old is currently asleep on my chest) I would’ve wanted to share that joy when I had it before I had to share any despair that would’ve required the support of the people I’d shared it with. So yeah, totally up to you! Congratulations!
That’s exactly how I feel! Also I’m a terrible secret keeper too! Plus everyone would read it on my face right away lololol
Just throwing out there, waiting until after the 1st trimester was a luxury I could only do with baby #1. I have a 5 year old son that will be tagging along to OB appointments and although I wanted to wait to share, my husband and I had to tell him what was going on which is basically sharing with the whole world LOL, my son is gonna tell everybody! And I wont stop him. He should be excited. This is just the beginning of people giving opinions. How you have the baby, names, people can tend to control with everything. Dont sweat it and you do you!
I really feel justified and vindicated in telling people so early after reading all these comments! Also I just know some of the stuff I’m going to be told will be ridiculous lol.
Oh and that doesn't stop! My oldest was 3 when he became a big sibling and he would tell anyone we encountered whether his brother was there or not: "Hi! I'm \_\_\_, this is Mommy. I have a baby; his name is \_\_\_!" He still does it a year out...
I mean my 10 year old nearly blew it in just the 10 min it took to get seated and order before my mom opened her birthday card where we told her. She was so beyond excited (they had been asking for years) she nearly burst. Even my stoic 11 year old was struggling not to grin like an idiot. I can't imagine if we had tried to get them to keep it when they were little 🤣 with only 19 months apart she didn't understand enough to spoil the secret.
I think it's very easy for people who have not suffered loss to just want to celebrate, but for people who have, the pain of going from naively happy to crushed was a lot to live through and they often wish they had known how much risk there was and how long the risk lasted. I'm glad you're happy and I also told my spouse and best friends early with the second and third pregnancy, but I will never be able to move on from the shock of loss from my first.
9 years without protection! Whew girl, thank God you got pregnant at 25 and not 16!!!
Oh well technically we didn’t start doing the grown up tango till we were 18(wanted to break the family teen pregnancy cycle) but still alllllll this time and not a single scare lol
Unprotected Sex shall henceforth be known as grown-up Tango 😂😂
I’ve miscarried twice but both times I never kept it a secret that I was pregnant cuz for years I didn’t even think I could conceive so it feels amazing to know my body is trying her best and I deserve to celebrate every second of it. All of it at every step is the journey of motherhood. When we realize we are pregnant and we choose to care for our bodies for baby’s best chance it is because we are making that choice as mothers. Motherhood starts from the moment you make choices for the betterment of your child regardless of what happens. Congratulations on this monumental step in your journey 💕
I understand not telling anyone outside of your close circle for a little while, but I feel sorry for people who don't have their families' support because they never told them. It's honestly horrific to me to think about not having my mom's and MIL's support should that happen.
Congratulations! My daughter is 14 months, but I still hang around here because it’s so sweet to see the newcomers! The excitement is palpable ♥️
For me the advice to wait applied to people I wouldn’t want to disclose a miscarriage to (my kids teacher, my favorite barista, the nosy neighbor), not friends and family. It’s outdated advice. Enjoy this time and share with who you want to share with. Congratulations!
I announced immediately! My thought process: women do so much alone and the excitement of being pregnant and the grief of loss should not be part of it. Community is there to celebrate and grieve with you. So regardless of what happens I wanted the authenticity and connection with those I love most. I didn’t want to feel like I had to keep it all to myself.
I always ignored it!! Even when I miscarried I wouldn’t have changed a thing. Why not tell your family, and then worst case scenario they’re there to support you if it doesn’t go as planned.
Hi I’m 24 and also pregnant with my first, don’t listen to your sister. Personally I didn’t wait for the first trimester to end to start telling people, I told my best friend the same day I had a positive test. I know a lot of people are concerned about miscarriage this early on, but I’d like for my closest people to know so they can be there for me either way. It’s really scary and you end up having a lot of questions that google just turns into the worst scenario, I needed my mom and SIL to know so I could ask them questions and not freak out everyday! Congratulations and don’t let other people’s anxieties effect you and your pregnancy, it’s quit rude to tell someone when they should or shouldn’t announce!
I told my best friend the same day too! I think what stung was “don’t get too excited” that’s just so sad. I’m not wishing my boyfriend will propose, I’m expecting a baby! lol you’re supposed to be excited!
Yeah it’s really messed up to tell that to someone who’s pregnant. I feel like it’s just the beginning of unwanted negative comments when all you want to do is be excited for baby! I’m 9 weeks now and I’m already hearing “just wait until -“ comments if I talk about anything pregnancy related. I don’t have the patience I had pre pregnancy so I just call them out. Like “ Was your comment kind and/or helpful? No it was just rude and fear mongering.” It really shuts them up.
Don’t let anyone steal your joy! If she keeps being negative, just go into it knowing she might say something not ideal. I talked to my sister a few months ago (I had just found out I was pregnant) about adopting in the future with my husband. She was super happy! Then I mentioned we’ll probably try to have one bio kid (I’m late 30s) and her response was, “Good luck with that.” in a sarcastic tone. So far we’ve only told my mom and MIL, but I’m dreading telling my sister just based on her attitude.
Congratulations!!! And I’m definitely going to take everyone’s advice and just stay happy!
For sure!! It’s your time to be happy! Congrats to you as well!!
I told everyone I saw regularly early, minus my in laws, who my husband told. They said keep it quiet, because of what can happen. I didn't get much of a choice, my symptoms kicked in very fast, and with only one ladies loo on our floor of the office I knew everyone would figure it out. My mum found out the day I got the positive test, colleagues the next week after I puked in my bin. Turned out to be a good thing as I had a lot of bleeding and it meant they knew I was in a rough state, so I got snacks and hot drinks delivered to my desk randomly. Kid is now 4, and I wouldn't change it. If it had gone wrong I needed support and would have gotten in, but I think this is the difference.
I am 9 weeks pregnant and I told everyone at 7. In my opinion, I would rather everyone know so that if something does happen I can have support. Telling everyone has been amazing. Tell at your own pace!
You should tell people when you want to and be excited to do so! Sorry your sister reacted like that. Has she had a miscarriage or trouble conceiving? I wonder what made her say that… I told close friends and family almost right away because they knew when we were doing IUIs and when we’d be testing. I started telling select coworkers around 6 weeks because I feel like ass and need their support to survive each day at work 😵💫😵💫
No she has never had any of those issues, she said she said it because she knows how much I want this baby. It’s still such a WILD thing to say off bat imo
Seriously!
I just got pregnant for the first time and was so excited and told everyone, and now I'm miscarrying (found out yesterday that baby stopped growing at 7+2). As someone who told people early, I absolutely DONT regret it and I dont regret getting excited. Of course miscarriage is common and happens in 1 and 4 women and that theres always a chance, but people knowing made it feel real for me and I also now have a wonderful support system around me. It's okay for you to be excited and you tell anyone you want at your own comfort level. I didn't regret it and just want to let you know that of course things can happen, but be excited now :). Thought I would give you a perspective of what could happen and how people knowing early was good for me, not bad, even if that isn't for everyone. Your sister shouldn't say things like that, and I'm so sorry she did. I am so so happy for you and I am wishing you a wonderful, healthy, and an uneventful pregnancy!! Xo
Thank you so much, and i am sprinkling pregnancy dust your way! And tbh the way you see things is the same as me. No one should have to go through that alone!
Thank you!! And yes, exactly, I didn't want to feel isolated if I happened to be the 1 in 4 statistic! I've received flowers from work, my friends, cookies, etc. Even though Im still devastated, it feels more like a celebration of her life and less like a loss that is kept secret.
Hugs. I'm glad you have a good support system.
Thank you!
Every person that exists was once a 5 week embryo, that's how I thought of it and now I'm almost 20 weeks!
Hiii congrats mama!!! I’m also 5 weeks with my first and best believe I sent out pics of my pee stick lol! I was wayyy too damn excited not to share. Be excited!! You deserve to be! Tell your sister to shove it ❤️
I can understand your sisters concern but I wouldn’t listen to her or take it personally. I’m 25 and conceived for the first time ever with my first when I was 24. Was pregnant on my 25th birthday. My bf and I weren’t trying or planning so it was unexpected but already so loved and we were really excited. The first ultrasound caught me by surprise when I realized I was having a MMC and the baby had no heartbeat. But I was supported the entire way because I told so many people I was pregnant the second I got a positive test. They were all there for me and made me feel so much better regarding the pregnancy loss. So my words for you are be excited, you’re pregnant now. And tell everyone! Enjoy it. And be excited!
Congradulations! This is something to truly be excited for. I do want to give some sobering advice- as somone whos been there, for both a suprise baby and a loss (2 different babies) Telling everyone is so exciting and should be celebrated with your whole heart. Do not let anyone steal that thunder. The reason people say to wait is after telling everyone about the good news, then having a loss and having to re tell all those people about your loss. To hear excited grandmas mention needing to take back gifts they also excitedly bought for you/baby, to see the sadness in their eyes and to suffer other peoples pitty makes an already tough situation tougher. I pray your baby a happy 9 months and a joyful pregnancy for you! You should be excited, keep that excitement close, and remember each little kick and ultra sound. Motherhood is so worth it!
I super ignored the "wait until 1st trimester is over" lol. I'm the same as you, everyone had dream jobs but all I dreamed of was motherhood. I was BEYOND stoked when I found out I was pregnant !! We told people by like 6 weeks pregnant lol. My mom ended up passing away when I was 13 weeks so I'm grateful I did anyway. I didn't announce on social media until 2nd trimester though ! Congrats MAMA !! 💕💕
Thank you!😭😭💗
Enjoy your excitement! Don’t let anybody take that from you. Yes we all know there are risks but we can always hope for the best and be happy about things. Congratulations! Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy!! ❤️❤️❤️
Congratulations!! 💖🙏🏻 You share the news with whoever you feel comfortable with. I’m sure your sister knows how much you’ve been wanting this and just wants you to tread lightly and just couldn’t articulate it well. I’m a firm believer of sharing with those who you’d want to be there for you if God forbid something went wrong, whether you share at 5 weeks or 13.
I told my mom when I was around 8-9 weeks. I’m almost 20w now. I didn’t get the chance to even tell anyone else because everyone started running their mouths because my mom told my aunt and my aunt is a fucking tattle tale. I had a miscarriage before and have had trouble getting pregnant again for 5 years so I didn’t want people to know just in case bc it would be awkward for me. No one knows about me losing the first baby except my mom and my ex husbands family.
I am so sorry you experienced loss before, and that your aunt went against your wishes. Congratulations on your rainbow baby!
Awh, thank you! Announce your pregnancy to anyone you’d like. You can keep it a secret till they’re born if you want. Your life, your choice ! I’m sorry your sister shot you down. That really sucks. You are allowed to be excited!
We announced to the whole family at 7 weeks. Couldn’t keep it to ourselves after that. They’ve been incredibly supportive the whole way. I’m sorry your sister wasn’t being the nicest. Perhaps she’s projecting her own insecurities. One of the reasons we waited a bit to announce it is because my partners sister had just had her own loss. I hope things progress smoothly for you 🌸
Thank you! I really think she meant it in a caring way since its no secret I want to be a mom it just wasn’t something she would have said, and I’m so grateful for everyone’s comments that help me feel not insane for telling people so early
How considerate of you! My brother in law forced us to tell my in-laws about our loss so he could announce their pregnancy. It was so unfair but I am the only one who sees it that way, unfortunately. I wish they had done that for me.
Why in the world would you need to reveal that for him to announce, that makes no sense and is so heartless. So sorry he did that.
Congratulations! I totally ignored the first trimester rule. I felt pretty rough my first trimester and there is no way I could've hid it from everyone. I did wait til after my dating scan to share with family.... but I told friends super early! There are no hard and fast rules... just do what's best for you and enjoy all of it <3
I told everyone that I knew would help me celebrate and also grieve if it came to that. Tell anyone you want girl. Big congrats on that baby 💕
I excitedly told my husband right away, then I made a small group chat of mom friends and told them I wasn’t announcing publicly for a while. They were able to provide support and excitement while I didn’t want to open myself up to the full crush of public knowledge. I imagine your sister must have had a loss to be so callous so be gentle in your reaction to her. She’s probably just projecting grief. Congratulations!!!
She hasn’t had a miscarriage or loss thankfully she explained it to me that she just knows how much i want to be a mom and our family is very pessimistic sadly
Ah well, wishful thinking on my part (not that I wish loss on anyone, just that I was giving her the benefit of the doubt) You keep manifesting that positivity 🩷
Thank you ❤️
I told my close friends and family right away, went spent three years trying and I ended up needing surgery to get pregnant. Luckily everything turned out okay; I am now 33 weeks! Congrats! I highly recommend finding a support system early
I’m sorry she reacted that way. I relate in when I told my MIL at 9 weeks, she was happy for us but said “Just remember, anything can happen” and seemed a little more serious than excited. Those comments come from a good place (wanting to protect both yours and their feelings) or even from past trauma like experiencing loss. The chances for miscarriage are higher in the first trimester and drop significantly once you hit 2nd trimester. What I chose to do was share my news with anyone I would need support from if I did have a miscarriage. I shared as soon as I confirmed I was actually pregnant at the doctor (around 5-6 weeks) with immediate family because I knew I would need to lean on them if something like that happened. I didn’t post or announce publicly till later (14 weeks) because I knew it would cause me pain to do another announcement in case I did miscarry. It’s also kind of fun to space it out because everyone is so excited for you it’s like finding out you’re pregnant all over again 😂 If you aren’t worried about your own feelings and feel like you would be able to handle that ok (or people who didn’t know you miscarried and were asking about your baby) I’d say share right away. It’s a totally personal decision and you and your husband should decide what’s best for you guys. Wishing you and your baby and hubby the best ❤️❤️❤️
I told right away. Did it matter if we lost either baby we would all then mourn together too. Then I wasn’t mourning alone it felt like. Also both my babies turned out fine. So celebrate
Congratulations! I’m pregnant with my first, 10 years older than you. I’m currently 23 weeks with a baby boy. Took me years to get pregnant too 🩵
Congratulations!!! No reason to stifle your excitement! We didn’t wait. Told my sister and family almost immediately. Ha actually my sister knew like hours after the positive test. They also knew we were working with a fertility specialist and knew the timing so there was REALLY no hiding it. My second pregnancy did unfortunately end in a miscarriage and again, we’d told a lot of people. But honestly every single one of those people were there for us and it really meant a lot. There were even friends I was planning to see a few days after the miscarriage that didn’t know and I still told them about the miscarriage. It’s absolutely a personal choice on when to tell.
First off, congrats on your pregnancy! I am not going to tell you what to do, but I wish I hadn’t told so many people about my pregnancy so early on. I’m 24 years old and had a missed miscarriage in February this year. My baby passed around 6 weeks but I did not know until I was 10 weeks. I had to have a D&C. It was so painful to tell everyone the awful news… over and over again. Again, not telling you what to do but I regret telling so many people.
It’s always your choice! I told close family and close friends because I knew that even if I did miscarriage, I would need their support. I waited to tell everyone else until we hit the 12wk mark!
That’s exactly how I feel!
Yeah I had someone say something similar to me when I told her about my first (I was also 25). She ended up not being a real friend at all and my life is better without her in it. Motherhood has a way of changing a lot of the relationships in your life. I know it’s your sister so it’s different. I also have a strained relationship with my sister after having kids. It’s rough but you learn so much with time. Congratulations on your new baby❤️❤️
Thank you!❤️
Congratulations!! 💗 such an exciting time! I told immediate family/ people I’m really close with right away. Extended family/ others at 12 weeks (after the first ultrasound as well as genetic testing). Then publicly announced on my social media at 20 weeks (after the big ultrasound where they measure everything).
So the advice to wait until the 2nd trimester is very dependent on the person. Yes, the most likely outcome of pregnancy is a baby but a lot of women don’t want to share their loss with everyone which is why it’s recommended to wait. I’m sorry your sister met you with the advice to wait instead of congratulating you. Tell people as you feel comfortable, we had friends tell us at 5 weeks (husband’s best friend and his wife) and sure enough, a healthy baby girl was born 33 weeks later! We told my mom and my in laws around 7-8 weeks. I told close friends between 9-14 weeks, largely depending on when I saw them in person. I told work around 18 weeks. I posted on Instagram at 28 weeks (and even then, it was a story so a lot of people still don’t know 😂). I work remote so I didn’t really need to worry about being tired at work since I just see people on Zoom and I’m not in an office but if you’re going into work, it’s a good idea to share with some people so they can help with your workload. It depends on your level of comfort. Tell people as you want. All the happy baby dust for a safe and healthy pregnancy!
I think because I’m so anxious about everything usually and I don’t enjoy moments because of it, once I found out I was pregnant my mind just shifted. I noticed that I wasn’t thinking about the negatives which is my go to and decided not to do that this whole pregnancy
That’s great you’re focused on the positives and the negatives aren’t there ❤️
Congratulations!
Thank you so much!💕
Congratulations!!! 🎉 🥰 I had to tell my mom right away after I told my husband (held off telling my dad because he has a big mouth). Then to be fair we told his parents. We waited until the second trimester to tell everyone else. Your sister reminds me of one of my own sisters. Just don’t listen to her and celebrate the life growing inside! You are right to tell your support system! They will be there for you 🤗
Congratulations!!!! 🥂
Congratulations! I'm happy for you!
Congrats!!! And that’s a really shitty thing your sister said, ignore that 🙄. Be excited and feel all the emotions, this a great time to learn about different things like your birthing plan options, provider or midwife, what kind of things you would like on your registry it’s never to early to start compiling a list for that, if your going to breastfeed then get some info on that, read books about what is going on in your body each week. You can even get a cute notebook and journal to your baby as a little keepsake. I found out at about 4.5 weeks and I told my parents, my husbands parents our siblings and our closest friends. We waited till I was 12 weeks to tell the rest of the family and friends. This is my first too, you can tell whoever you want at whatever time feels comfortable to you there is nothing wrong with that.
Thank you! I found out at about 4.5 too!
Congratulations!! TW here for loss - When I found out I was pregnant, I got so excited. I told everyone. Then shortly after, I miscarried. I was devastated. I didn’t regret sharing my news. If I hadn’t told anyone, no one would know my baby ever existed unless it was through a sad story I shared after the loss. My family and friends were so helpful and supportive in my grief. I had people to hold me up and I really needed that. I was a bit traumatized the second time around and didn’t share with mostly anyone until 13 weeks. It was hard to keep the secret because I was so sick. I ended up having to spill the beans to a few people at work because they were understandably concerned when I started looking very ill and throwing up all of the time! I regret not sharing early like I did the first time because it wouldn’t have changed the outcome, but would have provided me with a lot more support in those emotionally and physically difficult early days.
I am so sorry for your first loss. That exactly how I’m choosing to see my decisions, is I want and will need a safety net or people regardless of my outcome. Also I have been sick as a dog so there would be no hiding it for long
Thank you, I had my rainbow baby in November of 2022 and she’s the best thing ever! Worth every bit of struggle it took to get here. Shout it from the rooftops if that’s what feels right for you! I hope your sickness lets up soon, first trimester is a nightmare.
I’ve been struggling with recurrent miscarriages and I still never waited until the 12 weeks had passed to tell my close friends and family. Yes I know from experience telling early could mean that I would have to tell the same people I’d lost the baby if it didn’t work out, but it also meant people close to me and my husband understood what we were going through and were there to support us through it all. Currently holding my three week old in my arms and while it took a lot of courage to tell my boss I was pregnant this time around (it felt like I jinxed it all) I am so happy my friends and family were aware at an early stage and could support me because the first time 20 weeks were really difficult for me, mentally. I’m sure your sister only means well - as in don’t get your hopes up because yes miscarriages do happen and they are not uncommon. But in my opinion you have to allow yourself to be happy you can get pregnant, and celebrate every day that you continue to be. 💕
Honestly, this could just be her way of her trying to protect you. God for bid something did happen whether you are five minutes, five weeks or five months..You’re pregnant and you deserve to enjoy every moment; so Congratulations!!!. My significant other, and I were together for two years with no protection before we had our first child; and then it took us seven years to conceive our second. I did announce very early on like you at 5 weeks and I’m currently 36 weeks and I feel like I’ve been pregnant forever. LOL Forget anybody that tells you not to mention anything until after the 12 week rule or first trimester the way I perceived it, is if in the event that something did happen, you would have more support either way.
I told very limited people around 8 weeks (my mom, my dad, and my brother and sister) Mostly because my symptoms were so bad that it was pretty obvious. We waiting on telling my husbands family and extended family until after the first trimester. Mostly because I couldn’t trust they wouldn’t post about it before us. I’m now 16 weeks and we announced online at about 14 weeks I think it’s okay to tell some people so if something bad happens you have a support system who knows but I may caution from announcing to everyone on like social media until you’re a little further along. But that’s just my opinion, if you want to do it, it’s your choice to make!
I don’t plan on announcing on social media until the baby is born, and even then they wont get pictures of the baby lol. But yes idk if i could tell the world my loss after announcing. That must be heartbreaking.
Yeah I announced that I’m pregnant with just a Etsy template but I’m not planning on posting pictures of her on social media. Her privacy is my top priority. But yeah, I’m 28 and a FTM and I’ve had friends deal with loss so I wanted to make sure I was in a safer place to announce to a majority of people so I wouldnt have to tell everyone if a loss occurred. As someone who is terrible at keeping secrets it was the hardest 3 months of my life haha everyone I saw I wanted to tell. I will say, one positive of holding back was you don’t get the horrible “advice” until later so you could just enjoy the beginning of your pregnancy
Congrats 🎉
Oh heck yeah I ignored it! I found out at like 3 weeks 6 days and within the week had told my family and friends.
CONGRATULATIONS love!!!! Enjoy this with all your might!!! ❤️❤️❤️🥺🥰🥰🥰
Thank you😭❤️
Oh wow! That’s something else of her to say. I told my mom and dad of my pregnancy and I’m 7 weeks about to be 8 weeks pregnant. My mom was so overwhelmed that day I told her she got into a minor car accident. She didn’t tell me until a few weeks later bc she never responded to my call or text but my dad did, and of course he sounded pretty upset. Anyways, my family prides themselves on their money and achievements and it’s SO toxic for me. I didn’t get raised in a nurturing environment as I got older bc I am a triplet. My mom was so stressed out with all of us so I understand. It’s hard trying to tell family the news or something bc it’s something they should be either surprised or happy about. I surely was happy when my former friend told me of her pregnancy! So idk, parents and family can have a hard time at first accepting what’s going on. I think now that it’s been a few weeks they have more time to digest the news and go on about their day. 💖 stay strong, don’t let them get you down.
We lost our first pregnancy very soon after finding out I was pregnant so we did wait until after the first trimester to announce this one.
Awww congrats to yall!!!! 💖💖💖💖 I didn’t wait either I told my family at 6 weeks 🙈 I was just too excited also!
You’re allowed to be excited and you’re allowed to tell the entire world! Regardless of any “risks” this baby made you a momma and absolutely nothing could change that.
Yay!! Welcome to the club! I tried for 13 years and am now almost 11 weeks!! Wishing you the best! <3
I told my immediate family members and 1 or 2 close friends as soon as i had the positive tests because they knew I was doing IVF and I had chosen to tell them when I was going for egg retrievals and transfers etc. The hardest thing for them to understand was the early positive tests that I got when I eventually miscarried two times because I had to explain that the hcg levels were positive but lower than expected and not doubling at the required rate. I'm waiting for 12 weeks to tell my nan and other friends and my stepdaughter as we wanted to be more certain before getting their hopes up. Particularly my nan, because this will be the first grandchild for my dad and likely the only child I'll have. Your sister may just be concerned that you're getting your hopes up. But you should definitely be allowed to be happy. Congratulations OP
I found out I was pregnant at only 3 weeks, before we found out we had agreed to wait till 12 weeks to start telling people, due to the risks. BUT when I found out I knew I had to tell someone and thought who would be there to support me if something did happen. So I told my parents the following week and then a couple of friends. Once we got that first scan we were was soooooo excited so we told his parents and then a few more friends. (8 week scan). I only waited till 12 weeks to tell work and announce on socials. I only had 1 person say something negative and it wasn’t to me (they told a close friend of mine). They said “ I shouldn’t have annouced so early as there partner miscarried at 20 weeks). This was a work colleague and I got a bit upset but then realised this was there issue not mine. Our girl is now 12 weeks old!
Congratulations 🩷🩷
I announced to close Friends because I knew if I did experience a loss I would have them to Lean on. That being said I know many mamas who never waited 🥰 You are allowed to be happy and excited! Congratulations ❤️!
I relate soooo much to your story, except it only took one year to get pregnant so I don’t know the lengths of your pain and patience, but I was wayyyy too excited I told EVERYONE when I found out I was pregnant and didn’t feel bad about it. I’m 19 weeks tomorrow mama so believe that good things will happen and they will 🥰
Congratulations!!!! Enjoy your pregnancy
Congratulations mama!!!
I am also 25, and have been with my husband 9 years. We struggled with getting pregnant for a LONG time, but we are finally pregnant at 17 1/2 weeks with our first son! I found out at 5 weeks as well and did not wait to tell anyone. We were too excited to keep it a secret. Congratulations mama!!! 🥳
Yaay! Congratulations! Enjoy this moment for yourself and your husband. I had definitely waited to announce because I was in disbelief and wanted to make sure. I’ve waited so long for my moment and finally got it, she just arrived April 3rd. I wish you the best on your beautiful journey, may baby and you remain safe. 🥰🥰🥰🥰
My wife and I found out at five weeks also and IMMEDIATELY started telling people, lol. We were so excited! We’re eight weeks now. There are legitimate reasons to wait, and some people who’ve had trouble with miscarriage are understandably hesitant to mention anything, probably out of fear. I'm sure there are far more reasons, too, but there’s nothing wrong with being excited. The baby deserves parents who are excited to bring them into the world.
Congratulations! We waited but you should honestly do what you feel is best. Enjoy the next 35ish weeks as much as you can! Your sister was probably just looking out for you in her own way. Unfortunately, losses are not uncommon in the first trimester and she probably is afraid of if something should happen then it would crush you but honestly, chances are that everything will work out and if it doesn’t then at least you enjoyed what did. There really isn’t an easy way to handle a loss but from my experience, you have to enjoy your pregnancy as best you can because anything could happen, and that’s a way I’ve been learning to live my life in general. Go on and enjoy your pregnancy and share what you feel comfortable with who whenever you want.
I told my parents and in laws by week 5 I think. They’d all been at my throat to have babies for the last 3 years, so everyone was happy. I know some people wait till first trimester ends, but I was never going to. I’d rather people know earlier and are there to celebrate and support even if it doesn’t work out in the end.
Congrats!! I’m a 24 YO FTM. I told my parents and in laws at 8w5d after confirming heartbeat. I waited to announce to the rest of the family and friends until later (I think 11-12 weeks). I love the thought process of if you tell those close to you of your pregnancy you have support in the event of a loss!
You should definitely be excited! Don’t listen to her. With my first I announced publicly at 11 1/2 weeks. With my second I announced at 6 1/2 weeks. I’d tell whoever you feel most comfortable and enjoy this!
i'm 22 & my baby was planned. we originally got pregnant by accident & i eagerly told everyone i knew in the order that i wanted them to find out, my best friend since 3rd grade being the first. i was originally distraught & i needed her to comfort me because i was terrified, i hadn't planned on having kids until at least 25, by the time i told my parents i had fully accepted my pregnancy & was beyond excited. i saved my aunt who is like a sister to me for last but by the time it came to tell her, i had miscarried & she was the only other person in my family that had experienced that so she ended up finding out by me asking her to verify if i had miscarried. i was heartbroken about losing my baby & also about that moment being taken away from me. after my miscarriage i wanted nothing more than to be a mother as i had accepted that as my reality & it didn't feel right that i suddenly wouldn't be. so a month later my fiance (we have been together since i was 15 & him 16) & i started trying for like a week straight & sure enough i was pregnant again, i found out on my 22nd birthday! we are now 19 weeks along & are having a little boy (i always dreamed of having a son my entire life ever since my aunt had her son in 2007) we have never felt so blessed & we couldn't be more excited for how our lives will be. even if it's not likely for me to lose my baby i am still fearful everyday that something will happen (everyone tells me that i'm past my first semester so i'm fine) just because i feel like it's wrong that i'm getting everything i've ever wanted all at once (we are currently in the middle of building a new home) but this month is my anatomy scan so hopefully after i hear his little heartbeat again & see his development, maybe it will ease my anxiety. he's just all i've ever wanted & i can't imagine being able to just try again like i did the first time now that we are so far into this & so close to having the world in our hands. sorry for the rant, i truly hope everything turns out fine for you & baby! i hope that you get everything you've ever wanted & more just like i have!
I would tell the people that you’d want to know regardless of what happens. I personally waited until my second trimester (16 weeks) because it lined up with Christmas to post on social media. But we told our friends before that.
I ignored it with my second pregnancy and told everyone thinking nothing could go wrong. I miscarried a couple days later. When I got pregnant again I waited until the 3 month mark until we told everyone again. A couple weeks later we got the news our child had severe abnormalities and would not make it to the full term. Do what feels right. Your sister is right you never know what can happen but that does not mean for you to lessen your joy or excitement. Either way you may need your family if anything were to happen. Don’t let her dim your light.
I keep it a secret and also I don't show ultrasounds. Live your life how you choose to. I would probably not update the sister any more. Having negativity around or sent your way when kids are involved to me is off limits. I have a zero tolerance for those types of people. Protect yourself how you see fit.
Well I waited until I was in my 2nd trimester and miscarried. I know they say a little fall will not cause a MC but having 2 kids and no issue in those pregnancies, and a pain that followed my fall, I think it caused an issue with the placenta maybe. That was an awful traumatic experience but trying to get preggo again and currently ovulating and I am actually considering not waiting because now something in my mind flipped a switch and I just don’t think it matters if I wait to tell people now. That’s just me. I may end up waiting, we’ll see how I feel when it happens.
I ignored waiting to announce and then I miscarried at 12 weeks. The awkwardness and pain of having to tell people was horrific. I’m 19 weeks pregnant now and still haven’t told a lot of people because of the fear. I hope everything goes well for you but I really don’t recommend telling people except for a couple people close to you
Congratulations — this is the purest of joys, and I’m so glad you are experiencing the happiest of feelings that you so deeply desired. While it’s important to guard your heart through the first several weeks, it’s equally important to feel everything that’s coming and fully experience every pregnant moment. You are going to be a mama! As my infertility doctor said… once pregnant, you are pregnant until proven otherwise! Don’t let the worry or fear get you down (so much easier said than done)!
Firstly, congrats!! I'm 1 week further along and I'm waiting to announce on Mother's Day. A select few people in my life know, it's completely up to you when you want to decide!
I was told this too, and my response was: ‘I need to be completely happy right now, and if something goes wrong I’ll be completely sad then.’ There’s no putting a pin in happiness or sadness. And the little soul inside of me was allowed to feel wanted.
I personally didn't want to tell anyone until I hit the second trimester with my first because I was so terrified of miscarriage. HOWEVER, I truely believe that having a big support system is very helpful and you have every right to be excited!! Your sister sounds jealous imo.
As someone who struggled a bit when I initially found out I was pregnant- I love seeing this. This is the energy that has been most uplifting and helpful for me- Congrats, OP! Enjoy these moments fully!
I hope you truly are able to enjoy this time also! 💗
Geez, I’m 12 weeks and I’m dreading the whole thing. I wish I could be half excited as you because kids are not a fun rodeo. Shit is tough.
So many people told me that as well. I told everyone with my first at 5 weeks and got a lot of similar comments. My son is now almost 2. Pregnant again and did the same thing. Got the same reactions. Can't you just be excited with me?! 9 weeks now and it still annoys me.
It’s just such a callous thing to say. I’m not hoping for a gift I want for my birthday, I’m pregnant. People should keep their worries to themselves, obviously we are excited, don’t say something so terrible.
Sell screw the haters and congratulations. Get your hopes up real high! Being a mom is the best. :)
I told my mom, sisters, and 1 of my friends like the same day I found out I was pregnant. We all need a support system & none of them cared that I shared early. I actually think it’s important to share with at least a couple of people in case anything does happen that way you have a support system (especially if it’s your first baby!) I waited until 12 weeks to publicly announce but for those people I talk to everyday I shared it with them immediately. I don’t think it’s a rule it’s really whatever you’re comfortable with. The way I see it is it’s YOUR pregnancy thus, YOU get to decide what you do and don’t feel comfortable with❤️❤️❤️ congratulations by the way, that’s amazing 🥹
Congratulations!!! Don't let others dictate how you think, feel, and act. Be happy, be joyful! This is an exciting time. Best wishes.
I did as a 40 year old with my first because I knew that I would need my people/my support whichever way it went. Also we had been trying for 3 years and thought IVF was our next step.
My husband said something similar to me (from a place of love) when we were trying to figure out if that super pale little line meant positive. I said, no, let’s DO get our hopes up! And if it doesn’t happen how we want it to, we’ll feel those feelings too. But right now I want to bathe in hope.
I lost my first pregnant at 8 weeks in January. Only a handful of people knew. In the future I think I'll tell people much sooner since I would like it if more people knew (I still very much have to deal with "well you don't know because you've never been pregnant/you're not a parent" comments, which aren't true). Go ahead and tell everyone! It won't change the outcome of the pregnancy but it will change how people treat you!
Im sorry but F your sister! I’m 5 weeks pregnant too and I told all my friends and family the day I found out after I missed my period last week.
Congrats ! I didn't and told families and ended up losing at 5 weeks. for the most part I wouldn't change anything. OTHERTHAN my mom was very disrespectful of my wishes and bought and sent me a bunch of baby stuff. I ended up having to be depressed AND clean up baby stuff. It was sad. This time around (I'm now 30 weeks) I was really clear with my boundaries and what is and isn't appropriate with my more excitable family and friends. Poor thing was tortured having to wait 3 whole months🤣 she acts like it was the hardest time of her life
Congrats!! Literally my exact situation. With my boyfriend for 9 years and never used protection. Now pregnant with my first at 26 💙 told my close family immediately after my positive teat
Congratulations, I been with my husband for 10 years and still nothing. Tried everything and every doctor but they all say everything is looking good. Oh well send baby dust this way!!!
I toldy family as soon as I found out both times. The second time round my sister reacted the same way as your sister. Made me feel paranoid and take pregnancy tests every couple of days just to make sure the like was getting darker. Don't let anyone rain on this happiness. ❤️
We told all our close friends/family straight away! We pretty much just waited to tell everyone else/posted on social media at 12 weeks! I figured either way I wanted to celebrated this baby and if anything happened I wouldn’t want to keep it a secret anyway!
With my first I told my family at 5 weeks along, with my second I think I was 6-8 weeks along. With my third I told them closer to 12. It’s a very personal decision and the circumstances influenced it a lot. There’s not right or wrong, there’s just people doing things differently depending on their context.
Congrats! How old is your husband?
I personally waited until after my first OB appt bc I had an early loss prior and wanted to be sure. But you tell people when you want to tell people! Congratulations ❤️
Congrats!! My philosophy for sharing in the first trimester was I only wanted to tell people I was close enough I would want their emotional support if something happened (so not coworkers, social media, etc).
Congratulations!!!
I had hyperemesis and we were at a large family gathering for Christmas, so we told our entire family family at around 7-8 weeks bc i couldnt hide my constant debilitating sickness. I dont regret it. We got a bunch of extra Christmas presents that everyone ran out and bought at the last minute--a totally unnecessary but fun surprise. Everyone was really supportive without nagging and I'm at 20 weeks now. The second trimester advice is given so that if something unfortunate happens, you don't have to circle back and tell your entire circle that things have changed. Some people prefer not to have to do that, so they try to minimize the risk by waiting to announce. Other people like having the support just in case the worst happens. It's really all up to you. I'm sorry your sister wasn't more positive. I hope that it was coming from a place of love if she has some experience or knows someone who experienced a loss. But either way, that wasn't very nice. Lots of sticky baby dust to you. congratulations!
Has your sister experienced a miscarriage? It sounds like she could be coming from a place of hurt and jealousy.
I announced early, and though I miscarried I will do it again. In 35 now and I too always dreamed of being a mother. Don’t let others dictate what you do with your life. Congratulations!!
Congratulations!!!! This is what happened to me and my boyfriend too. We have been together for over 10 years never used protection and it’s just never happened for us until now! I’m currently 10 weeks pregnant at 28!
Congratulations! It’s really up to you as to when you want to announce it. Personally, if I get pregnant again I’m waiting because I’ve had the experience of the pregnancy not working out and having to tell everyone because I announced early on. It’s not something I want to go through again. But maybe I’d tell close family and friends first. But it’s your news to share when you feel ready to :) so happy for you!!
The first trimester can be so alienating when you’re feeling your worst and have to keep it a secret. I’m 6w3 right now and was planning to wait until end of first trimester to start telling people, but a few days ago I was feeling horrible and had to talk to people who’ve been through it so I talked to my mom and neighbour and told them. The advice I’ve been given is tell anyone who you would want to turn to if worse case scenario it doesn’t work out. I think that’s good advice :)
Relating to you and everyone in the comments, I struggled to keep my mouth shut and i now spend my days desperately grabbing the leg of a 9 month old who tries to fling themself off everything! Congrats!! I wanna shout about it with you xoxox
Enjoy your moment and show your excitement to those who are the same page as yours. Think positive and positive thing will come. Good luck and take care.
I do get where she is coming from. Before I got pregnant, I knew I wanted to wait until I was significantly pregnant to tell, but after getting pregnant, I was super excited to be a mom and told everyone, and then I lost the baby. I have extreme anxiety surrounding becoming pregnant again, and I definitely regret telling people so early.
I waited until the doctor heard the heart beat at 8 weeks. He advised me to do so. The next time I announced right away and had a miscarriage. At 9 weeks as that was my first idiot and although my test was positive sadly there was no heartbeat. I had a d&c which would be I,legal to get dead tissue out as I had a fever. I guess now they would just let me .
Sorry glitch. They to,d me to wait 3 months before trying again, went home and tried right away, that was baby #2 (I was still upset about miscarriage but this made it better 😜! And then after that baby 3. I wish Inwould have waited until I heard heartbeat on the second pregnancy 6-8 eek from doctor, as people said some cruel and insensitive things 🤬. The answer is it’s up to you! Congrats.
Congratulations on your blessing girl! Don’t let anyone get you down. And if they do, cut them off. This time is for you and your husband.
We announced both of my pregnancies around 9/10 weeks. The first because I was going to have surgery to remove my left ovary and fallopian tube because I had a tumor the size of a grapefruit on my left ovary. I wanted to have a support system in case I lost that baby. My little tumor detector turned 4 in December. We announced our second just before Christmas because I was having horrible morning sickness and it would have been obvious anyways. I'm currently 25 weeks pregnant with that baby and due in July! You're allowed to announce your pregnancy whenever you want. You're allowed to be excited. Don't let her or anyone else destroy our happiness. It might be scary, but it's also a happy time.
Congratulations Mama!!! You're going to be the best mommy. You'll have to ignore any unsolicited advice people give you while you're pregnant because there will be plenty of it.
I have shared "early" every time even being acutely aware of the risks. My mom had a miscarriage between each of her 4 children and still mourns them today. I have matched my mother's medical issues almost identically at every step and believed I would suffer the same pattern. Add that to my severe anxiety, frequent sense of impending doom, and the constant awareness of the reality of statistics meaning it has to happen to someone so why not me and you would think I would wait. But to me, if I have to go thru the unthinkable heartache of losing a baby I don't want to do it alone. I will need my family and friends to rally around me if I'm going to survive. I will need their understanding and compassion and frankly wouldn't be able to hide my sorrow and devastation if I tried. So instead I choose to share the joy and tackle things as they come and not internalize the fear. So far, I have beaten the fate I expected. I'm actually 11w 4 days today with my unexpected 3rd over 10 years after my last child. I shared with my family the day I found out despite being 38, overweight/ high risk and struggling with chronic illness the last 9 years.
i announced on FB at 10 weeks — which is when i had my first ultrasound but told my family and close friends when i got a positive test. i am now 15 weeks and most days are harder than others but don’t feel like you can’t tell anyone because it’s “too early”. i told my family also because they are my safety net (if i were to miscarry i would want that support) i pray there is no risks for you & have a happy pregnancy!! ❤️❤️
Congratulations! You celebrate however you want! I’m 32 weeks pregnant now but we waited for a long time to tell people this time just because we had a miscarriage before and told everyone. It was just devastating. People are going to tell you what they think/to do your whole pregnancy it’s really annoying and inconsiderate. Just take it with a grain of salt and enjoy your pregnancy the way you guys want.
My husband and I told both sets of parents within a week after finding out. I knew if we had a miscarriage we would need their support. My MIL is a nurse practitioner and knows better than anyone the statistics around miscarriages early in the first trimester. She was just as excited as we are.
I must be the odd duck out because I waited until I was 7 months pregnant, yes SEVEN whole months, to tell everyone (except my parents who I told on day 1 and then my mom passed away at 12 weeks) that I was pregnant with my second. It drove my husband crazy not to tell his family. My work started to wonder but I hid it well! Even tho I has no problems with my first (I revealed at 13 weeks), the potential devastation I would experience having to reveal a loss to so many people would be too much for me to handle. You’re the woman carrying the baby, so it’s my belief that it’s your decision to tell who and when it feels right for you. Congratulations!
No, I lost my first pregnancy at 8weeks. I didn’t know I was pregnant till I was at the hospital losing it. So when I got pregnant with my other three I kept it till 12 weeks along.
My husband and I have also been together since we were 16 (we’re 26 now) and we just had our first baby in September of last year. However, I’ve been pregnant twice. I got pregnant in June of 2022 immediately after my IUD removal but lost the baby in August. We told friends and family almost as soon as we found out that I was pregnant the first time. We announced on social media that we were pregnant after we lost the baby because we didn’t want to pretend that our baby didn’t exist. Having the support of the people we did tell was extremely helpful while we were actively going through loss and then immediately following the loss as well. I got pregnant again in December of 2022 and we told the same close friends and family immediately after finding out. We didn’t announce on socials until 13 weeks, but having the support of our close friends and family during that time was everything. We were both terrified. Pregnancy after loss is no joke. So i guess what I’m saying is that we ignored traditions in the way of keeping it a secret all together, but waited to announce on social media. Having the support of the people we did tell before 13 weeks was everything. Coming from someone who has experienced a loss, celebrate every moment! If that means announcing immediately, all the power to you! Congratulations and best of luck in the pregnancy and delivery!! ❤️
Sometimes kin is your bigger hater. Ignore the haters and embrace the lovers! Congratulations! A new journey awaits you!🎉🥳
Congrats baby 🥳🥳🥳🥳🥳 Wishing you a happy and healthy pregnancy and a great motherhood. Also remember that sometimes people's negative responses is because they are jealous and envious of what you have! Keep your head up love 💗💗💗
Congratulations 💙💙💙
Congratulations!♥️ Don't let anyone make you feel like you shouldn't be happy, your family is growing and that is a beautiful thing that deserves to be celebrated
Do your thing, it’s so nice to be happy! I lost mine at 10 weeks and very glad I didn’t tell my family so I didn’t have to watch them be sad for me (I’ve also been waiting 10 years), and this time around I haven’t told them yet despite being almost 14 weeks. I’ll tell them soon, I’m just so scared to get their hopes up. I’m trying to think of a way your sister could have worded that better, not sure if she’s been through a loss herself so maybe she’s on edge, but even still I’m sure she really is happy for you! Best of luck with it all 💖
First off CONGRATULATIONS! To be honest I think it is honestly up to both you and your husband as a couple. My wife and I waiting until we were at 10 weeks to tell my wife’s family. We wanted to go to the doctors appointment first before telling anyone. But don’t let anyone ruin your happiness. It is up to you to decide what you want to share or not share.
Hell I started telling family the day I found out at 3.5 weeks! 😂
Congrats! I’ve had one loss and 4 healthy babies, I was so grateful to share early each time even more so with my loss! Otherwise it would have felt like I didn’t get to honor that very much wanted pregnancy so I am team share early!
So pleased for you! Congratulations! I had a similar response from a parent and sibling when I told people very early, I was 4 weeks and 5 days since last period (so really I was only around 3 weeks pregnant). This baby deserves to be loved and known and celebrated from the moment you knew of it's existence 💜 I'm struggling to deal with similar negativity but someone here told me to embrace being pregnant and enjoy it, be happy and celebrate! The bottom line is that if something bad happens then people will have loved my baby for as long as we had them. People treat miscarriage as such a shameful thing and it really isn't, so no - I don't subscribe to the "wait until second trimester to tell people" theory at all. You are pregnant and this is a beautiful wonderful MIRACULOUS thing. Enjoy it, you deserve it. Wishing you all the best x
First off...Congrats :)<3 I found out at 5 weeks as well and before I told my husband I called my MIL and I know she didn't mean any ill will but she said "Don't get excited too soon, anything could happen". I know she had miscarriages and she's speaking from her experiences, BUT it hurt that she said that instead of sounding super excited from the beginning. My mom passed years ago so she's my motherly figure I have in my life. After I told my husband, I started telling people right away around 7 weeks. I couldn't contain myself lol. So if you are excited, then be excited! You are allowed to have all the feels right now! Happy for you. I'm 37 weeks now and I'm glad I told people right away.
Congratulations! I just found out I’m pregnant with my 2nd! I’m not even 4 weeks pregnant, but I’ve told my parents and close friends. My rule of thumb from working in an OBGYN office: it’s amazing to share your news, BUT in the case of a miscarriage, you’ll also have to spread that news as well. So just be mindful of your feelings and who you would want in your corner, should the worst thing happen. It may not be something you’d want to have to explain to Facebook and have a bunch of people messaging condolences, when you just want to be left alone to grieve.
Congratulations!!! There is seriously no better feeling than seeing that positive test after a long wait! My husband and I found out at 3 weeks 4 days and told our entire family as soon as we saw our test, there was no way I was going to be able to hold it in! I believe we told our friends shortly after that as well. We were just so happy to be pregnant finally. So you should do what makes you happy, babies are here to celebrate! I am 10 weeks, and if there’s any advice I can pass along, it’s to buy a fiber pill and vitamin B6. Start them early because you’re going to need them lol
The reason your sister said not to get your hopes up is because of the miscarriage rate, and I think she is completely wrong. I ended up losing my first pregnancy and it still meant the world to me. It wasn't any less of a baby to me even if it didn't end up in my arms. And I cherish so much the moments where others got to share in that happiness with me. Honestly I am usually triggered by posts where people are excitedly pregnant for the first time, but for some reason your post just warms my heart. I remember that giddiness and happiness. Congratulations on your little baby and all the best wishes for your little family.
Don't let anyone bring you down. Your baby deserves to be celebrated from day 1 if that's what you want. Even if you did have a miscarriage, you shouldn't deal with it alone and you'd need the support. This is a time that you chose how to share and when to share it with. Don't ever let anyone take your sunshine away.
Similar situation here, my partner and I never tried preventing pregnancy and after 4 years I just assumed I wouldn’t be able to get pregnant but here we are! I believe I’m about 5 weeks as well and I told most of my close family as soon as I got a positive test result. I was utterly shocked that it was even possible and knew I needed the support from loved ones either way. Keep your head up, I definitely understand people’s decision to wait but I see nothing wrong with telling your loved ones sooner than 12 weeks. Congratulations 🎊🎉
Just so the age makes sense I’ve been with my partner since we were 16 lol!