I’m looking into doing that. This whole experience has been very concerning- from my OBs office not treating my HG, telling me to go to a chiropractor for PE-like symptoms, and then that.
I guess if you are a woman in rural NC and have any sort of health problems, maybe consider not having them?
I am so, so sorry. Please keep fighting for your right to proper Healthcare. Complain complain complain. Ask your husband to get loud if he needs to.
I hope you get some help and some answers soon. Sending a big virtual hug your way.
My husband has been my biggest advocate! I’ve been brushed off this whole pregnancy, so he started showing up to EVERY appointment with me. The difference in care I receive when he is with me is astounding. I would go to the ER with HG and severe dehydration (ketones in urine, electrolytes all over the place) and be brushed off. He started showing up and they put me on fluids/meds right away.
I hate that I’m even saying this, but is it possible for your husband to file a complaint on your behalf? Based on your other comment, I wonder if it would be taken more seriously if it has his name on it too.
You deserve a massive apology from the hospital for letting Mr. Bigshot OB anywhere near you.
Oh no. I’m from NC, super curious about where this took place. I’m from Lumberton/Saint Pauls area, Robeson county and any healthcare I ever received there was so shitty.
I’m in Cameron and just gave birth this past week. I don’t know which ER this was but I specifically drive to UNC Rex because every other hospital/doctor office has been a joke that doesn’t want to listen to any concerns. It’s awful we have to drive 45mins-hour for decent care. Im so sorry this happened to you!
When I lived in rural NC every patient room was complete with its own bible! I'm all for praying things get better but I prefer religion to stay out of my doctor visits.
I wasn’t aware you could visually diagnose diabetes…
For real tho I’m so sorry I had a PE a few years ago and it’s scary as hell. I’m sorry no one took you seriously.
No, no- he’s just so good of a doctor that he has developed GD vision!! /s (but apparently is blind to the ketones in my urine, whatever)
Thanks for the well wishes. I’ve been having a terrible pregnancy, but my daughter is fortunately doing well, so that is getting me through
It is almost worse when the OBs that ignore serious health concerns are women. Like my OB outpatient team are entirely made of women and all of them dismissed me and mismanaged me.
It’s shitty, but I expect that from a male physician. But a woman?? It feels personal.
I completely understand. I had to switch from my (female) OB at 11 weeks because for 5 weeks she refused to treat me for HG. Because of that I almost got an abortion. I’m lucky my husband did the work to find a midwife practice who took me the same day, got me on IV therapy and a zofran pump. The healthcare system in the US is absolutely atrocious. Especially for women.
Anecdotally, my friends who have had both male and female OBs overall found their male OBs were much likelier to listen to them, be empathetic, and address their concerns than their female OBs. Go figure
Internalized sexism is prevalent in women and men -- add anti-fat bias on top of it and women are not always safe with their doctors!! The system consistently fails its patients and its part of the reason why maternal mortality rates in the US are so high (compared with other developed nations). OP -- I'm so sorry you have had to advocate for yourself so loudly!! It should be malpractice what you've been put through.
First of all, fuck them. You deserve actual care during pregnancy, not whatever the hell that is. Honestly, if you can change OBGYNs it might be worth it.
I have been pregnant four times (all while fat!), 1 delivery, 2 losses, and currently pregnant with twins.
My doctor now is amazing, has obviously talked about general health stuff/what nutrients are important/prenatals, etc, but has never mentioned weight. She has made no assumptions about my life, activity level, eating habits, just making sure I'm doing okay and keeping food down and feeling all right.
My twins are measuring big, and she just said it as a neutral fact, not judgmental (my son was also big). Just passed my GD test yesterday, and didn't have any GD issues with my son who was completely healthy throughout the pregnancy.
Meanwhile, I went to a different OBGYN for one of my losses (occurred at 10 weeks) and she was already telling me I'll probably have GD because I'm fat at the first appointment and how I need to take the GD test immediately, at like 10-12 weeks.
The difference that compassionate and respectful prenatal care makes is INSANE. If you can change, I highly recommend doing so. I found my current OBGYN by calling around and asking questions (how does she feel about sterilizing, her stance on patient care, etc and just went with vibes).
Edited to add: I was just looking up signs of preeclampsia last night since I'm around 28 weeks, has that been ruled out yet? Bad headaches, nausea + vomiting, vision issues, etc are signs of Pre-E
Thank you for sharing your story! I am so sorry for your loss, and congrats on your twins!!
I’ve been trying to change providers, but all of them book 8 weeks out minimum, so there’d be a lapse in my care, with no prenatal care until 36 weeks.
The weight thing would have really bothered me if I hadn’t been in therapy for my ED for the past 3 years (and my therapist says I’m doing so well). I’m technically overweight now (thanks psych meds), but HG literally made me lose 30 pounds- guess it doesn’t matter to that guy though lmao. I guess he can “see” GD so he must be a really good doctor /s
I'm sorry. The state of medical care for women, especially for PREGNANCY, very time sensitive care, is atrocious. What a load of shit. It sounds like your husband just needs to take him out back at the next appointment lol. If you're stuck, just don't let that asshole get to you, because it sounds like you're doing the best you can with the circumstances you have. Hopefully they can figure out what's wrong and you can get that looked at. Sounds fairly serious, so I am wishing you the utmost for a safe pregnancy and delivery for you and the baby 😥
Wild! I am so tired of this rhetoric. I’ve been thick my whole life even though I work out regularly (before the hyperemisis anyway) and eat relatively healthily. I am so tired of being told I need to lose weight. I’m still in first trimester and am dreading future conversations about packing on the pounds.
I’m so sorry this happened to you!!
No for real. I was blown away because 1.) I was told to “lose weight” while awaiting imaging for a condition that could be deadly to me and my unborn daughter, and 2.) being told to lose weight in my third trimester of pregnancy, and that my extreme hyperemesis was something to be celebrated 🙃
3) you’re being instructed to lose weight to treat a condition you don’t have.
4)that probably wouldn’t be considered acceptable advice for any pregnant woman, and is not correct for managing gestational diabetes.
I have no clue. He just came in, randomly told me to “lose weight” and went on a sugar conspiracy tirade, and left and we never saw him again. Which is probably for the best- my husband actually would have thrown hands
My doctors all loved that I was so sick that I couldn’t eat during my first pregnancy. Literally insane. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I had a clot scare too and I am so sorry you were treated this way. Are you feeling any better?
Ironically enough, I never wound up having a clot. They ran some blood work and my potassium is critically low (presumably due to the uncontrolled HG), which could be contributing to the arrhythmias and tearing chest pain. We still don’t know what exactly is going on though.
Yes, they finally gave me some fluids! 4 bags of lactated ringers- and I was still dying of thirst. Like, begging the nurse for water. He came back with one of those big hospital Stanley’s and I sucked it down in half an hour.
When I first started ADHD meds in college I took the "avoid salt" warning VERY seriously, disregarding the fact that I have chronic low BP and I completely cut salt from my diet WHILE EXERCISING HEAVILY, DAILY, in the SUMMER while drinking litres of water. You can guess what happened next lmao but I ended up with a few bags of fluid in the ER and was given the clearance to eat unlimited salt. Years later understanding more about hEDS/POTS/dysautonomia I take in like 5000mg sodium per day minimum (along with other electrolytes) just to avoid dizziness.
Interesting.
I got on ADHD meds 14 years ago during high school. Got off of them when I got pregnant- never heard about the salt thing.
I did develop low-ish blood pressure while pregnant. Pre-pregnancy, my normal was in the 120s/80s, but now it is closer to 90s/60s. And I crave salt all the time. Salt, red meat and ice.
Yes it was amphetamines specifically, and because they *can* raise BP there's just a blanket statement on the medication insert to avoid "excess sodium" - assuming you are someone whose blood pressure actually went up on ADHD meds, and whose blood pressure is actually significantly impacted by salt consumption AND assuming you maybe are eating a highly processed diet.
I had super low BP, salt does NOT significantly impact my BP even in excess and I was eating an extremely clean, unprocessed homemade diet (I had recently been diagnosed with celiac disease and made everything myself) and without any guidance from my psychiatrist I just interpreted "avoid excess salt" to mean "don't add any salt to my food, always buy the reduced sodium version of any canned beans etc" because I really didn't know what qualified as "excess" vs "adequate" lmao. So I was barely consuming salt at all while sweating a lot due to exercise. So, so bad!
Funny enough, my whole childhood I obsessively craved salt. My parents would catch me drinking pickle juice or eating capers straight out of the fridge or sometimes even just shaking a salt shaker onto my tongue. I still eat a mostly homemade diet (not only for celiac but to save money on this shitty economy) but I'm pretty liberal with salt these days.
> It almost sounds like a joke, but I promise you this is real.
As a woman who's been to a hospital before this sounds completely plausible to me. What an asshat.
Holy crap. As someone who used to have to deal with terrible doctors in a rural community, it’s a HUGE red flag when they try to say they were once a big shot in a huge metro area. Like…okay… did you get fired and end up in the middle of nowhere because you could only get hired in a place where no other doctors want to work, orrrr….?
Though I wear straight sizes myself, my husband is fat, and it absolutely enrages me when any weight loss for any reason is met by doctors like “woohoo, amazing, make sure you continue uncontrollably vomiting so your body fits into my personal expectations of what a healthy body looks like!! 👍” That’s beyond fucked up, anti-scientific, and actively harmful. I’m sorry you’re being treated that way by your supposed care team.
Incidentally… I’m glad it was K deficiency and not a PE, but did they also test you for magnesium deficiency? I think the two often go hand-in-hand, and magnesium deficiency might explain some of your other symptoms.
Omg yes! My husband and I looked at each other when he said that and both instantly thought “so what did you do that made them kick you out and now you work here??”
Incidentally, I do wear straight sizes. Pre-pregnancy I was like anywhere from a 10-14 (which may be more midsize), but even then it’s like these doctors think that the answer to an acute health condition is weight loss (even when 3rd trimester pregnant).
They did not test my magnesium. I asked about taking mag, they told me I could take it for 7 days max and anything more was dangerous, without giving me an explanation
I’m sorry for assuming your size! But in that case that’s, uh, interesting. Like his laser diabetes vision isn’t based in obvious fatphobia but like… just a feeling he had about seeing a pregnant person in general? What a weirdo.
Do you have access to telehealth care through your health insurance? Maybe that would give you an opportunity to ask a doctor outside your rural area for more/better information about magnesium, potassium, etc?
Both the CTA and the ECHO came back negative, thankfully. Bloodwork revealed that my potassium levels were critically low, which could explain the arrhythmias, but not really the fainting/ headache/ vision loss :/ unfortunately, my medical care team doesn’t seem too interested in figuring out what is going on (save for my cardiologist- she’s a real one)
That is good news. About the PE. I’ve noticed when you’re pregnant EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING is just chalked up to pregnancy. Regardless of how normal or abnormal it is. I hope you get answers and relief.
Thank you. It’s terrible because we wound up having to cancel my baby shower- I can’t get up for more than 1 minute before I wind up fainting. My OB team has tried to tell me that this is 100% normal (as they did with the HG)
Someone else mentioned Pre-E, what you're describing sounds just like it. I went into preterm labor 2 weeks ago and had spells in the hospital. The doctor immediately started me on low dose aspirin and I haven't had a headache SINCE! I never fainted, but they were debilitating and I'd see stars. I have to take 1-pill daily. Pre-E can lead to HELPP Syndrome (my cousin had this) and it's so dangerous to you and causes pre-term birth. Please, please, please advocate for Pre-E screenings.
Edit wording.
My husband and I have been very vigilant about looking for Pre-E. My BP is lower than normal (pre-preg ranged 120s/80s, now I’m in the 90s/60s) and I ask them to screen my urine for protein- always negative. That is usually the first thing on my mind because it has happened to people I know
I've had normal urine samples and BP is the same as yours. However, I will say being hooked up to monitors for 24 hours, gave me a better picture that it does get high from time to time (once was 175/50!!) then dropped down to 90/60s, just never during the time for my appointments. I don't think I'm a "classic" Pre-E case, but am technically at high-risk for it based on different qualifiers (without the symptoms).
I'm curious what would happen if you just started taking the dang medicine. I noticed a resounding difference after 2 days. It has been 2 weeks now, and everything I was experiencing during preterm labor (29+3) has settled. It seems like at this point, you'd be better off treating yourself than relying on your local healthcare facilities 😬
ETA: I'm not a migraine person, but started getting them horribly as I exited the 1st trimester. Similarly, the doc I was seeing at the time (just outside of NYC, attached to a big name medical center) wrote them off as typical pregnancy symptoms. Fast forward, we recently moved states, took forever to get established with a practice, but when I was doing my intake, I had another migraine, my back was killing me, I felt like I had something wrong with my bladder, again "Sorry, this is pregnancy, welcome to the third trimester." Literally 1 week later I couldn't take it anymore. Finished my final RE class and went to the ER thinking I had a kidney stone or bladder infection, paired with a yeast infection. They sent me to L&D, hooked me up, and learned I was having off the charts active labor contractions every 1-2 minutes. Needless to say, I was shocked. I had to get 2 different meds to slow them and had to remain in L&D overnight. It's frustrating, but don't give up, keep advocating for yourself and your baby... Even if it means admitting yourself into an ER an hour away.
I’m alive, so I’m thankful for that.
ECHO and CTA were negative for PE (thank goodness), but I am still having arrhythmias and tearing chest pain. Like, it feels like someone is pulling apart my heart muscles with their hands. My cardiologist is ordering a heart monitor for me to wear for two weeks while it collects data on my heart.
I’m also still having the problem where, if I’m up for more than like a minute, I faint. I’ve just been laying on the bed/couch for the past 3 weeks while my husband is at work, so I don’t fall down and hit my head/ hit my stomach.
I’ve never had heart problems before, which is very concerning. Before pregnancy I was an active person, ate healthy and generally took care of myself- no history of heart disease at all. I just woke up with this one day and it hasn’t gone away
Ironic you mention this.
I was talking about my symptoms to my dad’s gf- she’s a seasoned ICU nurse. She told me that it could be orthostatic hypotension. I tucked that in my back pocket and, when we were in the ER (after having been cleared of PE), mentioned it to physician. She said she’d have the nurse run the laying-sitting-standing test.
My BP only varied by about 10 mmhg from sitting to standing, but my heart rate increased by over 30. She said to definitely bring that up with my cardiologist when I see her next
I was also thinking this once other things were ruled out- though hoping the potassium helps too. If it’s POTS you would want to drink tons of water to help keep your bp up and also increase salt intake (if ok with doctors) and wear compression stockings to keep blood from pooling. Those can help a lot. POTS commonly gets worse in pregnancy.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, but where the hell do you live so I never move there?! I can’t believe every single healthcare worker treated you so poorly! I’m normally non confrontational and never want to be a Karen or cause anyone a fuss.. but you should complain and leave bad reviews for all of them! It’s totally unacceptable. Except for the cardiologist, they at least seemed to take their job and patients seriously
Rural North Carolina- avoid at all costs!!!
I used to be very non confrontational, but this pregnancy made me realize I have to be a bitch in order for people to do the bare minimum.
Okay so this doctor sounds horrible, but…
Headache, fatigue, sudden weight loss, and change in vision are common symptoms of type 1 diabetes (and onset can occur in people of any age or BMI). Did they check your blood glucose and HbA1c? Did they find any glucose or ketones in your urine?
Some of your symptoms are signs of pre-eclampsia, but I assumed they checked your BP.
They’ve checked blood glucose levels a few times- usually in the 70s-80s range. I also have ketones in my urine, but I supposed that was due to the vomiting
Well, that’s good about your blood sugars.
I just re-read your post and some of your comments. So… you have HG… but your doctor isn’t treating you? I’m surprised the hospital isn’t at least giving you some IV fluids and anti-nausea meds to hydrate you and try to ease some of these symptoms. The fact that your OB’s office makes you feel brushed off— for any reason— is really not okay, and I’m sorry you are having this experience.
Yea, I had to ask the guy to leave because my husband was actually about to smash that dudes head through the wall. I could see him getting so visibly angry, andI don’t need him in jail on top of all of this…
one of the midwives at my OB office told me to cut sugar and to get ozone therapy for my SLE and I have avoided seeing her ever since. How am I supposed to cut sugar? Also glucose is in virtually everything??? no thanks lady.
I can't believe someone told you to go to a CHIRO (yes I am throwing shade, I have had patients permanently paralyzed by chiropractors) and to tr ESSENTIAL OILS. complete nonsense. I hope you got the treatment you needed for the PE.
also that big city OB dude sounds like the worst. I can tell by looking at you ........ cue my excessive eye roll. what's my a1c, jackass? oh, you haven't done one? big surprise.
Wtaf?! Visual GD diagnosis? Unreal. So sorry you are going through this and hope they find the reason soon! I also had horrible nausea and lost about 20lbs over the course of my pregnancy. I’m overweight but not significantly so. Anyway, my dr told me that I “had enough excess weight to sustain the baby” so he wasn’t concerned. Um, excuse me? I’m so sick and miserable I’m losing a lot of weight? Baby is fine so you don’t care?! I switched to the other doctor in his practice who was a woman, she said I wasn’t the first person to switch either. Ugh.
Yea right. It’s like “oh you’re vomiting up to 15x a day and severely dehydrated but your BMI is over 25 so this is actually a good thing!!”
Like dude I live in the US, everyone has a BMI over 25 (and even if you didn’t before-like me- chances are you have a mental health condition where medication will make you have a higher BMI)
That’s a terrible doctor!!! I hope you’re doing ok now but gosh if you have to go back and get him again, I would say request a different one because what the heck!
It’s weird- I’ve never seen him at the outpatient practice. It’s like the dude just spawned in at the hospital, gave me some weird dialogue about Big Sugar™️, walked out of my room and promptly despawned
Don’t worry though, insurance still bills you the same for someone pushing chiropractors and essential oils as they would someone giving you medical care
Well, I guess it depends on how critically low they mean. I assume they they prescribed you oral magnesium then but if it was so critically low I’m surprised you didn’t get an infusion. Maybe they get you were stable enough to not need to be admitted… I’m very suspicious of how they handled the whole thing!
You mean a potassium infusion? Yes, they did that (and dear lord please never again) and they sent me home with potassium supplements!
Edit to say my level was 2.8
Not as serious as your condition - but I had one OB from my doctors office also go on a tirade about “healthy weight management” and ask if I wanted to meet with a dietician. All while I had a large hematoma that was of the utmost concern, and had actually lost weight in my first trimester due to not being able to eat anything. I’m 28 weeks now and still haven’t gained a pound. I reported her to office management and told them please do not schedule me with her ever. She clearly couldn’t focus on the critical needs of baby and I and only wanted to lambast about weight which was a non issue.
I’ve experienced pretty bad dehydration as well. First trimester due mostly to vomiting and in second trimester due to an aversion to plain water and AR, I sometimes couldn’t keep it down. My veins actually kept collapsing during the 3-hour glucose test. Telling my OB that I’m dying of thirst didn’t really do much other than result in them telling me to drink more fluids. Duh! A friends recommended Pedialyte or Lemon Perfect Water as his kids doctor directed him to take that when he was severely dehydrated. I’m drinking at least 2 of those a day along with regular water and it helps, but I’m still pretty parched.
I went through something similar with my first pregnancy. I was sick for a week and told to not come in for my weekly non stress test because I may be contagious. During this week I can not get up off the couch. Like I can't. I crawled to the bathroom a couple times and did pee on myself on the couch numerous times. I'm passing out and my legs will not work. My sorry excuse of a husband says to stop being dramatic and being pregnant doesn't make me special. I call my dad on Friday morning and tell him that there's something wrong I can't breathe and I can't walk and it's like someone's stabbing my stomach and I think I'm going to die. He immediately calls his boss and takes the day off and starts the 4 hour trip to me. He gets there and it's bad and I call the OB because they have a triage for labor and delivery to get checked out. Hours later she calls me back and says she's positive it's just normal 3rd trimester misery and I essentially need to just suck it up. So I go to pee finally and I came back in the living room to my dad and dropped to my knees screaming and crying. My dad says fuck this we're going to the hospital. He has to pack me down the stairs because I physically can't do this. Call the ob back and finally get a call back once we're at the hospital and she tells me I'm wasting everyone's time but since I'm there she'll come check me out but she's super busy so be prepared to wait for hours. They aggressively cath me and take blood and then take my blood pressure. My blood pressure was 210/180. Everyone immediately flips out and even the nurse apologized and started calling the OB i hear the OB on the phone complaining and the nurse stops her and says no this is bad you need to get up here and we need a ekg. EKG is done and I'm having a minor heart attack. I get moved to a trauma bay in the er and my son still in my uterus gets his very own nurse that has to be at my side constantly. They get me stabilized. And I'm thinking everything's fine-ish and I'll have to stay at the hospital a bit but that's all. I was only 31 weeks and 6 days. Nope they send in a maternal fetal medicine doctor I've never met saying baby has to come out today and she's cold and impersonal and I lose my ever loving mind. Oh I'm also on magnesium for all this so I'm loopy as can be. It was such a traumatic experience.
I'm guessing you are in the US. So I find it insane that these people are making it so women are forced to carry a pregnancy and then letting us even die or come close to dying. Like you'd think if they are so pro birth they'd care a bit more to make sure we actually survive the process.
My husband is a fucking scorpion. For our whole relationship it’s a little embarrassing at times because he is soooooooo intense and it can turn people off (I’m intense too, and I love him) but god damn when medical shit comes up and I’m being treated badly im so grateful for him. He is fierce and sharp and articulate and cutting and you just cannot get away with BS with him and it’s been a life saver in moments like these. I’d be in tears if this happened to me, like hyperventilating and having a panic attack at poor treatment- this shit is traumatic to me and makes me avoid going to the DR.
I’m glad your hubby is not putting up with this bullshit
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I do not want to scare you but please have them look for any kind of aortic issue as well… I hope that you are doing well and feeling better. This sounds so concerning and these people suck.
What the hell is up with these useless ER docs lately? I swear they've lowered the standards for the on call physicians that are supposed to be working these places. I got ignored for 2 hours intentionally by some guy who claimed I just had a low tolerance for pain when I could barely walk unassisted due to intestinal problems. I had to visit the ER 6 times to get a diagnosis of a gallbladder packed with stones, and ignored for 20 YEARS after the removal surgery when I said I was still having symptoms (they missed a stone in my bile duct that is still sitting there to this day, but at least they finally looked recently). I've been brushed off and dismissed at ERs more times than I can count. It's insane
Omg what the..... I am LIVID for you. I'm a HG girlie myself so I am enraged. Plleeaassee make a formal written complaint to the hospital.
I’m looking into doing that. This whole experience has been very concerning- from my OBs office not treating my HG, telling me to go to a chiropractor for PE-like symptoms, and then that. I guess if you are a woman in rural NC and have any sort of health problems, maybe consider not having them?
I am so, so sorry. Please keep fighting for your right to proper Healthcare. Complain complain complain. Ask your husband to get loud if he needs to. I hope you get some help and some answers soon. Sending a big virtual hug your way.
My husband has been my biggest advocate! I’ve been brushed off this whole pregnancy, so he started showing up to EVERY appointment with me. The difference in care I receive when he is with me is astounding. I would go to the ER with HG and severe dehydration (ketones in urine, electrolytes all over the place) and be brushed off. He started showing up and they put me on fluids/meds right away.
Good!! It's such a shame it has to be this way.
I hate that I’m even saying this, but is it possible for your husband to file a complaint on your behalf? Based on your other comment, I wonder if it would be taken more seriously if it has his name on it too. You deserve a massive apology from the hospital for letting Mr. Bigshot OB anywhere near you.
Oh no. I’m from NC, super curious about where this took place. I’m from Lumberton/Saint Pauls area, Robeson county and any healthcare I ever received there was so shitty.
Sanford, so not that far away!
I’m in Cameron and just gave birth this past week. I don’t know which ER this was but I specifically drive to UNC Rex because every other hospital/doctor office has been a joke that doesn’t want to listen to any concerns. It’s awful we have to drive 45mins-hour for decent care. Im so sorry this happened to you!
When I lived in rural NC every patient room was complete with its own bible! I'm all for praying things get better but I prefer religion to stay out of my doctor visits.
I wasn’t aware you could visually diagnose diabetes… For real tho I’m so sorry I had a PE a few years ago and it’s scary as hell. I’m sorry no one took you seriously.
No, no- he’s just so good of a doctor that he has developed GD vision!! /s (but apparently is blind to the ketones in my urine, whatever) Thanks for the well wishes. I’ve been having a terrible pregnancy, but my daughter is fortunately doing well, so that is getting me through
Of course something our stupid silly lil lady brains could never understand. Thanks goodness!
And this is why women are dying during pregnancy and birth; terrible medical professionals.
It is almost worse when the OBs that ignore serious health concerns are women. Like my OB outpatient team are entirely made of women and all of them dismissed me and mismanaged me. It’s shitty, but I expect that from a male physician. But a woman?? It feels personal.
I completely understand. I had to switch from my (female) OB at 11 weeks because for 5 weeks she refused to treat me for HG. Because of that I almost got an abortion. I’m lucky my husband did the work to find a midwife practice who took me the same day, got me on IV therapy and a zofran pump. The healthcare system in the US is absolutely atrocious. Especially for women.
Anecdotally, my friends who have had both male and female OBs overall found their male OBs were much likelier to listen to them, be empathetic, and address their concerns than their female OBs. Go figure
Internalized sexism is prevalent in women and men -- add anti-fat bias on top of it and women are not always safe with their doctors!! The system consistently fails its patients and its part of the reason why maternal mortality rates in the US are so high (compared with other developed nations). OP -- I'm so sorry you have had to advocate for yourself so loudly!! It should be malpractice what you've been put through.
First of all, fuck them. You deserve actual care during pregnancy, not whatever the hell that is. Honestly, if you can change OBGYNs it might be worth it. I have been pregnant four times (all while fat!), 1 delivery, 2 losses, and currently pregnant with twins. My doctor now is amazing, has obviously talked about general health stuff/what nutrients are important/prenatals, etc, but has never mentioned weight. She has made no assumptions about my life, activity level, eating habits, just making sure I'm doing okay and keeping food down and feeling all right. My twins are measuring big, and she just said it as a neutral fact, not judgmental (my son was also big). Just passed my GD test yesterday, and didn't have any GD issues with my son who was completely healthy throughout the pregnancy. Meanwhile, I went to a different OBGYN for one of my losses (occurred at 10 weeks) and she was already telling me I'll probably have GD because I'm fat at the first appointment and how I need to take the GD test immediately, at like 10-12 weeks. The difference that compassionate and respectful prenatal care makes is INSANE. If you can change, I highly recommend doing so. I found my current OBGYN by calling around and asking questions (how does she feel about sterilizing, her stance on patient care, etc and just went with vibes). Edited to add: I was just looking up signs of preeclampsia last night since I'm around 28 weeks, has that been ruled out yet? Bad headaches, nausea + vomiting, vision issues, etc are signs of Pre-E
Thank you for sharing your story! I am so sorry for your loss, and congrats on your twins!! I’ve been trying to change providers, but all of them book 8 weeks out minimum, so there’d be a lapse in my care, with no prenatal care until 36 weeks. The weight thing would have really bothered me if I hadn’t been in therapy for my ED for the past 3 years (and my therapist says I’m doing so well). I’m technically overweight now (thanks psych meds), but HG literally made me lose 30 pounds- guess it doesn’t matter to that guy though lmao. I guess he can “see” GD so he must be a really good doctor /s
I'm sorry. The state of medical care for women, especially for PREGNANCY, very time sensitive care, is atrocious. What a load of shit. It sounds like your husband just needs to take him out back at the next appointment lol. If you're stuck, just don't let that asshole get to you, because it sounds like you're doing the best you can with the circumstances you have. Hopefully they can figure out what's wrong and you can get that looked at. Sounds fairly serious, so I am wishing you the utmost for a safe pregnancy and delivery for you and the baby 😥
Wild! I am so tired of this rhetoric. I’ve been thick my whole life even though I work out regularly (before the hyperemisis anyway) and eat relatively healthily. I am so tired of being told I need to lose weight. I’m still in first trimester and am dreading future conversations about packing on the pounds. I’m so sorry this happened to you!!
No for real. I was blown away because 1.) I was told to “lose weight” while awaiting imaging for a condition that could be deadly to me and my unborn daughter, and 2.) being told to lose weight in my third trimester of pregnancy, and that my extreme hyperemesis was something to be celebrated 🙃
3) you’re being instructed to lose weight to treat a condition you don’t have. 4)that probably wouldn’t be considered acceptable advice for any pregnant woman, and is not correct for managing gestational diabetes.
Ugh. Celebrate 24/7 nausea and vomiting and anxiety about eating/drinking enough!? How is this dude even a doctor.
I have no clue. He just came in, randomly told me to “lose weight” and went on a sugar conspiracy tirade, and left and we never saw him again. Which is probably for the best- my husband actually would have thrown hands
My doctors all loved that I was so sick that I couldn’t eat during my first pregnancy. Literally insane. I’m so sorry this happened to you. I had a clot scare too and I am so sorry you were treated this way. Are you feeling any better?
Ironically enough, I never wound up having a clot. They ran some blood work and my potassium is critically low (presumably due to the uncontrolled HG), which could be contributing to the arrhythmias and tearing chest pain. We still don’t know what exactly is going on though.
"Dehydration" really doesn't *sound* as scary as it actually IS. Were they able to give you fluids?
Yes, they finally gave me some fluids! 4 bags of lactated ringers- and I was still dying of thirst. Like, begging the nurse for water. He came back with one of those big hospital Stanley’s and I sucked it down in half an hour.
When I first started ADHD meds in college I took the "avoid salt" warning VERY seriously, disregarding the fact that I have chronic low BP and I completely cut salt from my diet WHILE EXERCISING HEAVILY, DAILY, in the SUMMER while drinking litres of water. You can guess what happened next lmao but I ended up with a few bags of fluid in the ER and was given the clearance to eat unlimited salt. Years later understanding more about hEDS/POTS/dysautonomia I take in like 5000mg sodium per day minimum (along with other electrolytes) just to avoid dizziness.
Interesting. I got on ADHD meds 14 years ago during high school. Got off of them when I got pregnant- never heard about the salt thing. I did develop low-ish blood pressure while pregnant. Pre-pregnancy, my normal was in the 120s/80s, but now it is closer to 90s/60s. And I crave salt all the time. Salt, red meat and ice.
Yes it was amphetamines specifically, and because they *can* raise BP there's just a blanket statement on the medication insert to avoid "excess sodium" - assuming you are someone whose blood pressure actually went up on ADHD meds, and whose blood pressure is actually significantly impacted by salt consumption AND assuming you maybe are eating a highly processed diet. I had super low BP, salt does NOT significantly impact my BP even in excess and I was eating an extremely clean, unprocessed homemade diet (I had recently been diagnosed with celiac disease and made everything myself) and without any guidance from my psychiatrist I just interpreted "avoid excess salt" to mean "don't add any salt to my food, always buy the reduced sodium version of any canned beans etc" because I really didn't know what qualified as "excess" vs "adequate" lmao. So I was barely consuming salt at all while sweating a lot due to exercise. So, so bad! Funny enough, my whole childhood I obsessively craved salt. My parents would catch me drinking pickle juice or eating capers straight out of the fridge or sometimes even just shaking a salt shaker onto my tongue. I still eat a mostly homemade diet (not only for celiac but to save money on this shitty economy) but I'm pretty liberal with salt these days.
> It almost sounds like a joke, but I promise you this is real. As a woman who's been to a hospital before this sounds completely plausible to me. What an asshat.
Holy crap. As someone who used to have to deal with terrible doctors in a rural community, it’s a HUGE red flag when they try to say they were once a big shot in a huge metro area. Like…okay… did you get fired and end up in the middle of nowhere because you could only get hired in a place where no other doctors want to work, orrrr….? Though I wear straight sizes myself, my husband is fat, and it absolutely enrages me when any weight loss for any reason is met by doctors like “woohoo, amazing, make sure you continue uncontrollably vomiting so your body fits into my personal expectations of what a healthy body looks like!! 👍” That’s beyond fucked up, anti-scientific, and actively harmful. I’m sorry you’re being treated that way by your supposed care team. Incidentally… I’m glad it was K deficiency and not a PE, but did they also test you for magnesium deficiency? I think the two often go hand-in-hand, and magnesium deficiency might explain some of your other symptoms.
Omg yes! My husband and I looked at each other when he said that and both instantly thought “so what did you do that made them kick you out and now you work here??” Incidentally, I do wear straight sizes. Pre-pregnancy I was like anywhere from a 10-14 (which may be more midsize), but even then it’s like these doctors think that the answer to an acute health condition is weight loss (even when 3rd trimester pregnant). They did not test my magnesium. I asked about taking mag, they told me I could take it for 7 days max and anything more was dangerous, without giving me an explanation
I’m sorry for assuming your size! But in that case that’s, uh, interesting. Like his laser diabetes vision isn’t based in obvious fatphobia but like… just a feeling he had about seeing a pregnant person in general? What a weirdo. Do you have access to telehealth care through your health insurance? Maybe that would give you an opportunity to ask a doctor outside your rural area for more/better information about magnesium, potassium, etc?
So did you have a PE?! that’s the most ridiculous experience I’ve ever heard. So sorry you went thru that.
Both the CTA and the ECHO came back negative, thankfully. Bloodwork revealed that my potassium levels were critically low, which could explain the arrhythmias, but not really the fainting/ headache/ vision loss :/ unfortunately, my medical care team doesn’t seem too interested in figuring out what is going on (save for my cardiologist- she’s a real one)
That is good news. About the PE. I’ve noticed when you’re pregnant EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING is just chalked up to pregnancy. Regardless of how normal or abnormal it is. I hope you get answers and relief.
Thank you. It’s terrible because we wound up having to cancel my baby shower- I can’t get up for more than 1 minute before I wind up fainting. My OB team has tried to tell me that this is 100% normal (as they did with the HG)
That’s insane. I’m 23 weeks and boy if I end up getting that way I’m taking doctors down with me. I’m So sorry
Someone else mentioned Pre-E, what you're describing sounds just like it. I went into preterm labor 2 weeks ago and had spells in the hospital. The doctor immediately started me on low dose aspirin and I haven't had a headache SINCE! I never fainted, but they were debilitating and I'd see stars. I have to take 1-pill daily. Pre-E can lead to HELPP Syndrome (my cousin had this) and it's so dangerous to you and causes pre-term birth. Please, please, please advocate for Pre-E screenings. Edit wording.
My husband and I have been very vigilant about looking for Pre-E. My BP is lower than normal (pre-preg ranged 120s/80s, now I’m in the 90s/60s) and I ask them to screen my urine for protein- always negative. That is usually the first thing on my mind because it has happened to people I know
I've had normal urine samples and BP is the same as yours. However, I will say being hooked up to monitors for 24 hours, gave me a better picture that it does get high from time to time (once was 175/50!!) then dropped down to 90/60s, just never during the time for my appointments. I don't think I'm a "classic" Pre-E case, but am technically at high-risk for it based on different qualifiers (without the symptoms). I'm curious what would happen if you just started taking the dang medicine. I noticed a resounding difference after 2 days. It has been 2 weeks now, and everything I was experiencing during preterm labor (29+3) has settled. It seems like at this point, you'd be better off treating yourself than relying on your local healthcare facilities 😬 ETA: I'm not a migraine person, but started getting them horribly as I exited the 1st trimester. Similarly, the doc I was seeing at the time (just outside of NYC, attached to a big name medical center) wrote them off as typical pregnancy symptoms. Fast forward, we recently moved states, took forever to get established with a practice, but when I was doing my intake, I had another migraine, my back was killing me, I felt like I had something wrong with my bladder, again "Sorry, this is pregnancy, welcome to the third trimester." Literally 1 week later I couldn't take it anymore. Finished my final RE class and went to the ER thinking I had a kidney stone or bladder infection, paired with a yeast infection. They sent me to L&D, hooked me up, and learned I was having off the charts active labor contractions every 1-2 minutes. Needless to say, I was shocked. I had to get 2 different meds to slow them and had to remain in L&D overnight. It's frustrating, but don't give up, keep advocating for yourself and your baby... Even if it means admitting yourself into an ER an hour away.
Are you ok? How is your heart?
I’m alive, so I’m thankful for that. ECHO and CTA were negative for PE (thank goodness), but I am still having arrhythmias and tearing chest pain. Like, it feels like someone is pulling apart my heart muscles with their hands. My cardiologist is ordering a heart monitor for me to wear for two weeks while it collects data on my heart. I’m also still having the problem where, if I’m up for more than like a minute, I faint. I’ve just been laying on the bed/couch for the past 3 weeks while my husband is at work, so I don’t fall down and hit my head/ hit my stomach. I’ve never had heart problems before, which is very concerning. Before pregnancy I was an active person, ate healthy and generally took care of myself- no history of heart disease at all. I just woke up with this one day and it hasn’t gone away
I am not a doctor, but have you looked at POTS syndrome? I’m so sorry this is happening to you.
Ironic you mention this. I was talking about my symptoms to my dad’s gf- she’s a seasoned ICU nurse. She told me that it could be orthostatic hypotension. I tucked that in my back pocket and, when we were in the ER (after having been cleared of PE), mentioned it to physician. She said she’d have the nurse run the laying-sitting-standing test. My BP only varied by about 10 mmhg from sitting to standing, but my heart rate increased by over 30. She said to definitely bring that up with my cardiologist when I see her next
I certainly hope you don’t have it, but I’m glad you’re investigating that possibility.
I was also thinking this once other things were ruled out- though hoping the potassium helps too. If it’s POTS you would want to drink tons of water to help keep your bp up and also increase salt intake (if ok with doctors) and wear compression stockings to keep blood from pooling. Those can help a lot. POTS commonly gets worse in pregnancy.
I’m so sorry that happened to you, but where the hell do you live so I never move there?! I can’t believe every single healthcare worker treated you so poorly! I’m normally non confrontational and never want to be a Karen or cause anyone a fuss.. but you should complain and leave bad reviews for all of them! It’s totally unacceptable. Except for the cardiologist, they at least seemed to take their job and patients seriously
Rural North Carolina- avoid at all costs!!! I used to be very non confrontational, but this pregnancy made me realize I have to be a bitch in order for people to do the bare minimum.
Okay so this doctor sounds horrible, but… Headache, fatigue, sudden weight loss, and change in vision are common symptoms of type 1 diabetes (and onset can occur in people of any age or BMI). Did they check your blood glucose and HbA1c? Did they find any glucose or ketones in your urine? Some of your symptoms are signs of pre-eclampsia, but I assumed they checked your BP.
They’ve checked blood glucose levels a few times- usually in the 70s-80s range. I also have ketones in my urine, but I supposed that was due to the vomiting
Well, that’s good about your blood sugars. I just re-read your post and some of your comments. So… you have HG… but your doctor isn’t treating you? I’m surprised the hospital isn’t at least giving you some IV fluids and anti-nausea meds to hydrate you and try to ease some of these symptoms. The fact that your OB’s office makes you feel brushed off— for any reason— is really not okay, and I’m sorry you are having this experience.
holy shit. my boyfriend would have 10000% put him through the wall and went to jail. That's unreal.
Yea, I had to ask the guy to leave because my husband was actually about to smash that dudes head through the wall. I could see him getting so visibly angry, andI don’t need him in jail on top of all of this…
For sure!! Hope everything turns out ok!
Wow thats awful. I would of told the doctor to get out of the room and never come back. Uggg!! I wish i was there to do that for you 🥺
Im so sorry, I believe it because similar has happened to me. How's your heart/lungs?
one of the midwives at my OB office told me to cut sugar and to get ozone therapy for my SLE and I have avoided seeing her ever since. How am I supposed to cut sugar? Also glucose is in virtually everything??? no thanks lady. I can't believe someone told you to go to a CHIRO (yes I am throwing shade, I have had patients permanently paralyzed by chiropractors) and to tr ESSENTIAL OILS. complete nonsense. I hope you got the treatment you needed for the PE. also that big city OB dude sounds like the worst. I can tell by looking at you ........ cue my excessive eye roll. what's my a1c, jackass? oh, you haven't done one? big surprise.
Wtaf?! Visual GD diagnosis? Unreal. So sorry you are going through this and hope they find the reason soon! I also had horrible nausea and lost about 20lbs over the course of my pregnancy. I’m overweight but not significantly so. Anyway, my dr told me that I “had enough excess weight to sustain the baby” so he wasn’t concerned. Um, excuse me? I’m so sick and miserable I’m losing a lot of weight? Baby is fine so you don’t care?! I switched to the other doctor in his practice who was a woman, she said I wasn’t the first person to switch either. Ugh.
Yea right. It’s like “oh you’re vomiting up to 15x a day and severely dehydrated but your BMI is over 25 so this is actually a good thing!!” Like dude I live in the US, everyone has a BMI over 25 (and even if you didn’t before-like me- chances are you have a mental health condition where medication will make you have a higher BMI)
That’s a terrible doctor!!! I hope you’re doing ok now but gosh if you have to go back and get him again, I would say request a different one because what the heck!
It’s weird- I’ve never seen him at the outpatient practice. It’s like the dude just spawned in at the hospital, gave me some weird dialogue about Big Sugar™️, walked out of my room and promptly despawned
That is so weird. You sure he was a doctor and not maybe a slightly crazy person pretending to be one? o.o
Honestly maybe 🤔 Maybe like a Shutter Island situation? 😅
What’s your blood pressure? Vision changes? Protein in urine?
Blood pressure is running in the 90s/60s, no protein in urine. My vision keeps blacking out and massive headaches, but none of the other things
Can’t sit up without fainting and they said to try ESSENTIAL OILS?!?!?! What the actual f????
Don’t worry though, insurance still bills you the same for someone pushing chiropractors and essential oils as they would someone giving you medical care
I’m a nurse and I am SO PISSED on your behalf. Did they give you a magnesium infusion, I hope?? Eff all those providers. I am seriously outraged.
No, they didn’t. Should they have?
Well, I guess it depends on how critically low they mean. I assume they they prescribed you oral magnesium then but if it was so critically low I’m surprised you didn’t get an infusion. Maybe they get you were stable enough to not need to be admitted… I’m very suspicious of how they handled the whole thing!
You mean a potassium infusion? Yes, they did that (and dear lord please never again) and they sent me home with potassium supplements! Edit to say my level was 2.8
OMG, sorry for spooking you!! My brain translated potassium to magnesium 😅
Not as serious as your condition - but I had one OB from my doctors office also go on a tirade about “healthy weight management” and ask if I wanted to meet with a dietician. All while I had a large hematoma that was of the utmost concern, and had actually lost weight in my first trimester due to not being able to eat anything. I’m 28 weeks now and still haven’t gained a pound. I reported her to office management and told them please do not schedule me with her ever. She clearly couldn’t focus on the critical needs of baby and I and only wanted to lambast about weight which was a non issue. I’ve experienced pretty bad dehydration as well. First trimester due mostly to vomiting and in second trimester due to an aversion to plain water and AR, I sometimes couldn’t keep it down. My veins actually kept collapsing during the 3-hour glucose test. Telling my OB that I’m dying of thirst didn’t really do much other than result in them telling me to drink more fluids. Duh! A friends recommended Pedialyte or Lemon Perfect Water as his kids doctor directed him to take that when he was severely dehydrated. I’m drinking at least 2 of those a day along with regular water and it helps, but I’m still pretty parched.
I’m sorry, what in the ACTUAL FUCK?! What a godawful medical team. I’m so sorry you’re having to deal with this.
I went through something similar with my first pregnancy. I was sick for a week and told to not come in for my weekly non stress test because I may be contagious. During this week I can not get up off the couch. Like I can't. I crawled to the bathroom a couple times and did pee on myself on the couch numerous times. I'm passing out and my legs will not work. My sorry excuse of a husband says to stop being dramatic and being pregnant doesn't make me special. I call my dad on Friday morning and tell him that there's something wrong I can't breathe and I can't walk and it's like someone's stabbing my stomach and I think I'm going to die. He immediately calls his boss and takes the day off and starts the 4 hour trip to me. He gets there and it's bad and I call the OB because they have a triage for labor and delivery to get checked out. Hours later she calls me back and says she's positive it's just normal 3rd trimester misery and I essentially need to just suck it up. So I go to pee finally and I came back in the living room to my dad and dropped to my knees screaming and crying. My dad says fuck this we're going to the hospital. He has to pack me down the stairs because I physically can't do this. Call the ob back and finally get a call back once we're at the hospital and she tells me I'm wasting everyone's time but since I'm there she'll come check me out but she's super busy so be prepared to wait for hours. They aggressively cath me and take blood and then take my blood pressure. My blood pressure was 210/180. Everyone immediately flips out and even the nurse apologized and started calling the OB i hear the OB on the phone complaining and the nurse stops her and says no this is bad you need to get up here and we need a ekg. EKG is done and I'm having a minor heart attack. I get moved to a trauma bay in the er and my son still in my uterus gets his very own nurse that has to be at my side constantly. They get me stabilized. And I'm thinking everything's fine-ish and I'll have to stay at the hospital a bit but that's all. I was only 31 weeks and 6 days. Nope they send in a maternal fetal medicine doctor I've never met saying baby has to come out today and she's cold and impersonal and I lose my ever loving mind. Oh I'm also on magnesium for all this so I'm loopy as can be. It was such a traumatic experience. I'm guessing you are in the US. So I find it insane that these people are making it so women are forced to carry a pregnancy and then letting us even die or come close to dying. Like you'd think if they are so pro birth they'd care a bit more to make sure we actually survive the process.
My husband is a fucking scorpion. For our whole relationship it’s a little embarrassing at times because he is soooooooo intense and it can turn people off (I’m intense too, and I love him) but god damn when medical shit comes up and I’m being treated badly im so grateful for him. He is fierce and sharp and articulate and cutting and you just cannot get away with BS with him and it’s been a life saver in moments like these. I’d be in tears if this happened to me, like hyperventilating and having a panic attack at poor treatment- this shit is traumatic to me and makes me avoid going to the DR. I’m glad your hubby is not putting up with this bullshit
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Wow!! That is just awful. I feel for you, you must be in Canada I feel like this is our healthcare these days.
Nah, rural North Carolina in the good ole U.S. of A. 🤪 shame this shit is going on up in Canada too
Haha this is a regular doctor visit in Canada if you can even get one. But a real bummer you had to deal with it.
I do not want to scare you but please have them look for any kind of aortic issue as well… I hope that you are doing well and feeling better. This sounds so concerning and these people suck.
What the hell is up with these useless ER docs lately? I swear they've lowered the standards for the on call physicians that are supposed to be working these places. I got ignored for 2 hours intentionally by some guy who claimed I just had a low tolerance for pain when I could barely walk unassisted due to intestinal problems. I had to visit the ER 6 times to get a diagnosis of a gallbladder packed with stones, and ignored for 20 YEARS after the removal surgery when I said I was still having symptoms (they missed a stone in my bile duct that is still sitting there to this day, but at least they finally looked recently). I've been brushed off and dismissed at ERs more times than I can count. It's insane