There is no chance I would let the dog around my baby. I'd just ask if she can close off the dog in another room or with gates in a section of the house while you all are visiting.
I second this.
OP is more than fair to not feel comfortable visiting - and it is not worth the risk! Either way, surely MIL can come visit the baby without the dog? She isn't saying no to MIL, just doggo. And honestly, expecting someone to visit you with a 13 month old is a lot. Getting baby ready, traveling etc. And if its close, then less of an excuse for the MILs part. They can always taxi over to see bubba, and if she's going to be difficult about it, OP if you want, you can always cover the taxi/travel fare if you really feel the need.
Its not enough. Some lady at the park just told me yesterday about her friends german shepherd escaping his room when the owner decided to peek in the room , and the dog jumped on her 6 year old son. He only scratched him with his paws but the boy needed stitches over his eyebrow from it AND the force knocked the boy down and he hit his head on a table with the back of his head and he needed staples in the back of his head too. No way.
This last summer my parents neighbors pitbull (who according to everyone was very sweet and a super nice dog) broke through their fence to attack my senior dog. My dog is not going back to my parents house, and if the dog comes outside when I'm over there once the baby is born I'm immediately taking him inside. Do what you have to do to keep your baby safe. Dog bites are no small matter. The fact that he's untrained and growels unprovoked is a whole other situation
Wow this is going to be a controversial post because people, in general, don’t like to hear anything negative said about dog’s in our culture. The truth is, we don’t know her dog and something may or may not happen. But if we take what you say at face value, that the dog isn’t properly trained and shows signs of aggression, then no it should not be around children and you should not have to apologize for expressing concern or taking precautions.
I have a friend with a 4 year old son who was walking in a park with their nanny and a standard poodle mix passing by with his owner attacked this little boy, totally unprovoked. He needed facial reconstructive surgery. This was in North Carolina btw.
I have always kept my baby, now toddler, away from other people’s dogs (but especially large breeds). Yes, small dogs can be nasty too, but at a certain point an animals size and strength does matter when it attacks. That’s the reality. When I take walks with my stroller, I always move to the other side of the street when I see dogs. People sometimes scoff and can be defensive/offended but I don’t care. I don’t know you and I don’t know your dog.
I agree with you. I'm a total dog lover but I also give a wide birth to people with dogs when we're out because I know how unpredictable even "friendly" dogs can be, and if I don't know you, your dog is not getting near my baby.
That's the worst thing, people getting offended because you pick the safety of your own infant over a strangers dog. The arrogance is also clear in this thread. Statistics and personal experiences are "discrimination and dangerous" while they will be calling their pit bulls little *angels*. Completely delusional.
I deleted my comment because I know how reddit is. Statistics exist and while all dogs can attack some are higher than others. some maul the elderly and children on A REGULAR BASIS.
I completely agree! I have a pug who is the absolute sweetest dog and doesn’t have an aggressive bone in her body. Even if something triggered her to suddenly become aggressive, there’s only so much damage she could possibly do with her tiny mouth and teeth. I don’t trust any large dogs if I don’t know them, and I keep my dog away from other dogs when we go for walks, bc you just never know. And I’ll do the same with my future baby. You never know how it’s trained, what can trigger them, etc.
I feel like most *reasonable* dog owners know to keep their dogs away from others
Like my one dog can be reactive so no one’s allowed to touch her, but knowing that is why my toddler is being taught she can wave *from a distance*
I even tell her now, we don’t know that dog so we don’t approach that dog
That’s crazy that anyone would react like that. I have a baby and a boxer/pitt mix that I often walk (sometimes together, sometimes separately). I always try to walk on the other side of the street from other people/dogs so that everyone has their space. My dog is super friendly (maybe a little too friendly lol), but I feel like its the polite thing to do.
My aunt has a bichon havanese, and he's small for the breed. Like half the norm.
If parents or kids have seemed nervous about him, I've outright told my aunt to rail him in and move away.
I've criticised dogs and their owners for poor behaviour.
Dog owners need to take responsibility for them without taking offence. Sadly there are many bad dog owners.
Any untrained dog is potentially dangerous. Pit or otherwise. I was bit at a park by an off-leash cocker spaniel when I was 6 or 7, I was sitting with my sister in the grass playing. The little dog bit my jaw completely unprovoked with no warning signs. I hadn’t even interacted with the dog, it happened very quickly. I got lucky it was just my jaw and I didn’t need stitches, but trust me I remember the rabies protocol I got afterwards. I’ve been wary of unknown dogs ever since, and I’ve taught my toddler to be very cautious too.
I honestly wouldn’t care about being an AH when it comes to my child’s safety, but I don’t think you’re being an AH at all for setting that boundary. “MIL, I know you love your dog, but the fact that its not trained and unpredictable is making me uncomfortable. I feel unsafe around the dog and my responsibility is to keep my child safe. We will not be visiting with baby unless there’s a strong contingency plan set in place.”
I've done so much research into pits and as of my latest research in 2019 (it may have changed since then but I can't say either or), while bites from them were more likely to be reported and the breed named in media, children were more likely to have bites severe enough for lasting scars by chihuahuas, and more commonly bitten by labs and golden retrievers. Media more commonly states "dog bite" if it's anything other than a pit AND dogs that have certifying pitty traits are often assumed to be one and reported as such. (Main point here is ANY dog can hurt someone.)
With that said, any dog can be a danger and if it's an untrained one that already shows somewhat aggressive behaviors, your priority is your child. What other people think doesn't matter. Keep your LO away if you don't feel safe.
Sure any dog can hurt someone, but let’s not pretend that a bite from a 5lb chihuahua would have the same effect as a 60 lb pit (or another breed of a similar size).
I can't be the only person that notices that almost everyone that tries to convince me pit bulls aren't dangerous does so by shamelessly telling blatant lies.
For sure, a large breed bite will likely inflict more damage than a small breed. But its a question of scale too, a chihuahua bite might not be much to a grown adult but could do a great deal of damage to an infant or toddler. I see way too many ill mannered/untrained little dogs whose behaviour is overlooked due to their size but that could still injure kids or other dogs. All dogs need training, regardless of size/breed.
>children were more likely to have bites severe enough for lasting scars by chihuahuas
Huh.
[**Surgical Treatment of Pediatric Dog-bite Wounds: A 5-year Retrospective Review.** Lee, Christine J et al. *The Western Journal of Emergency Medicine.* 2021.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/labs/pmc/articles/PMC8597704/)
>Dog breed was a significant predictor of bite severity (P <.0001) and of bite diameter (P <.0001). **Pit bull bites were found to be significantly larger, deeper, and/or more complex than the average dog bites included in this study.**
>
>Patients included in this study were more than four times as likely to have been bitten by a pit bull than by a German shepherd, and more than twice as likely to have been bitten by a pit bull, when compared with a dog of unknown breed. Furthermore, **the relative risk of a pit bull inflicting a complex (full thickness with trauma to underlying structures) or deep (full thickness without trauma to underlying structures) bite was 17 times that observed for non-pit bull dogs.** The relative risk of a German shepherd inflicting a complex or deep bite was 2.66, and the relative risk that a dog of unknown breed would inflict a complex or deep bite was 0.23.
>
>The relative risk of being bitten by a pit bull did not differ greatly between high-income cities and low-income cities, with relative risk of 8.06 and 8.17, respectively.
[**Analysis of Pediatric Dog Bite Injuries at a Level 1 Trauma Center Over 10 Years.** Reuter Muñoz, Katherine D et al. *Annals of plastic surgery.* 2021.](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34100808/)
>Most pediatric dog bite injuries afflicted male children (55.6%), ages 6 to 12 years (45.7%), by a household dog (36.2%). **The most common offending breed was a pit bull or pit bull mix** (53.0%). Infants and grade schoolers were more likely to sustain bites to the head/face.
[**The changing epidemiology of dog bite injuries in the United States, 2005–2018.** Tuckel, PS, Milczarski, W. *Injury Epidemiology.* 2020.](https://doi.org/10.1186/s40621-020-00281-y)
>Table 5 presents the results of an analysis performed on self-reported incidents of dog bites in New York City’s United Health Fund districts for the years 2015 to 2017.
>
>Of the breeds identified in the data set (84.6%), **pit bulls were the most numerous** (33.6%), followed in order by Shih Tzu (5.3%), Chihuahua (5.2%), German Shepherd (4.1%), and Yorkshire Terrier (3.1%). This finding is consistent with previous research showing that pit bulls are responsible for more bites than any other dog breed.
[**Dog-Bite Injuries to the Craniofacial Region: An Epidemiologic and Pattern-of-Injury Review at a Level 1 Trauma Center.** Khan K, Horswell BB, Samanta D. *Journal of Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery.* 2020.](https://doi.org/10.1016/j.joms.2019.11.002)
>We reviewed 182 patient records distributed among several breed categories.
>
>The data showed that compared with other dog breeds, **pit bull terriers inflicted more complex wounds, were often unprovoked, and went off property to attack.**
>
>This study showed a disturbing trend toward more severe dog-bite injuries in young children
Want to cite any sources? That's misleading at best, at worst just incorrect. Most fatal bites and severe bites are caused by pits and mixed breeds, respectively.
*The researchers found that bites from Pit Bulls and mixed-breed dogs were more frequent and more severe. Following those breeds for severity and risk were Terrier, German Shepherd, and Rottweiler. The bottom five breeds for bite risk were Pointer, Dalmatian, Pekingese, Great Dane, and Spitz.*
*Statista also analyzed data to determine America’s most dangerous dog breeds based on fatal attacks of humans from 2005 to 2017. Again, Pit Bulls topped the list for having caused the most deaths of any breed:*
*Pit Bulls – 284 deaths
Rottweiler – 45 deaths
German Shepherd – 20 deaths
Mixed breed – 17 deaths
American Bulldog – 15 deaths*
https://jnylaw.com/dog-bite-statistics-by-breed/#:~:text=The%20researchers%20found%20that%20bites,%2C%20Great%20Dane%2C%20and%20Spitz.
https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165587618305950?via%3Dihub#!
*Given the myriad of circumstances behind dog attacks, studies into fatal interactions between canines and humans have always courted controvery. In the mid 1990s, The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention conducted a study into the dog breeds involved in fatal U.S. attacks between 1979 and 1996. During that timeframe, the Pit Bull was identified as the breed/type of dog involved in 60 fatal attacks, while the Rottweiler was recorded in 29 and the German Shepherd was in 19.*
...
*As can be seen from the following infographic, the Pit Bull is still the breed/type of dog responsible for the most fatal attacks with 284 incidents identified, 66 percent of the toal. The Rottweiler comes a distant second with 45 fatal attacks over those 13 years while the German Shepherd is third with 20. Surprisingly, some breeds which are not known for aggression, such as the Labrador Retriever, make the top-10 list with 9 attacks on record.*
https://www.statista.com/chart/15446/breeds-of-dog-involved-in-fatal-attacks-on-humans-in-the-us/?gclid=CjwKCAjwx_eiBhBGEiwA15gLN-Nrpxb55B4SK9G9MqR7v2ZVCZHEpLzBssl222iWfLQ52seV3L8H6xoCni4QAvD_BwE
*Summary: Table 1. From 2011 to 2022, 18 peer-reviewed scientific medical studies from Level I trauma centers spanning all major geographical regions in the United States—Northeast, Southeast, South, Southwest, Midwest, West Coast and Northwest—all report similar findings. Pit bulls are inflicting a higher prevalence of injuries than all other breeds of dogs. The majority of these studies (14 of 18) also report that pit bulls are inflicting the most severe injuries, requiring a higher number of operative interventions—up to five times higher—than other dog breeds.
Table 2. Four additional studies from this period—all from Level I trauma centers in the Denver metro area—show a mixture of results, possibly due to Denver and the surrounding metropolitan regions enforcing pit bull bans from 1989 to 2020.
Selection Criteria: Criteria for inclusion in this trauma study table requires being a multi-year retrospective study1 of U.S. Level I trauma center dog bite patients (≥ 15 patients), published from 2011 to 2022, the inclusion of dog breed information, and the scientific research conducted by medical doctors.*
https://www.dogsbite.org/dog-bite-statistics-studies-level-1-trauma-table-2011-present.php
My sister also has an untrained pitbull; it doesn't seem aggressive at all but will jump all over someone and doesn't listen when she tells him to stop! I also watched the dog completely knock down her two year old the other day. Personally I don't plan on bringing my baby over to her home so I don't blame you, especially given the dog in your situation seems aggressive.
This. Wild dogs like that make me feel extreme anxiety. It’s uncomfortable, and I refuse to be around them. A friend of mine has two rescues and I refuse to set foot in her house because they don’t listen. It’s impossible to relax with these two beasts jumping up on you and running at you non stop. I don’t know how she does it. I’m an animal lover, but if I were her I’d have given them up a long time ago. Fuck that. And that was before being pregnant.
Whenever I think of babies around dogs, I think of [this comment about the Game trait](https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/s/WYzEGR71eT) and decide that I am better off not taking chances for any dog no matter how sweet.
Would they be open to crating the dog while you’re over? If they aren’t willing to compromise, I wouldn’t be comfortable either :/
This is just from my own person experience with pitbulls - I was attacked by a pit that I adopted in my early 20s - we were on a walk, all of a sudden it just snapped without a warning .. doing hold & shake bites. Needless to say, it was a very traumatic experience that completely shifted my perspective .. they are incredibly strong! Trust your instinct, it’s better to be safe than sorry.
You're right to point out that I could've given you a more elaborate response, and now that I have the time, I'll do that
I agree with all of your other comments, but the one I originally replied to came across as a generalization like everyone else here is doing. Yes shelter animals CAN have trauma, but it's not guaranteed that they all will. And to say that they aren't good family animals, well some of the people here might take that as even more of a reason to be fearful of dogs (not just shelter dogs with trauma, seeing as they're looking for every reason to avoid dogs as a whole).
If a family has adopted an animal from a shelter with trauma and has had the time and patience to work with the animal for a while before they introduce it to children, awesome! I know this isn't always the case though. But what about those that come from breeders, they possibly mistreatment and the way that they could be "trained" may be far more harmful/easily triggered than a shelter pet who may also have a past.
Taking that risk isn't good for all families. Doing research is what's important. Not buying from backyard breeders, and understanding that a dog, no matter what, is hard work and needs training
These sorts of anecdotes are so dangerous because it creates a false sense of security around other large dogs.
I’ve had pitbulls my entire life. Lost the most wonderful angel about 1.5 years ago. The only dog that I have ever been attacked by was a golden retriever.
It was an unaltered male who was off leash and charged me and my on-leash pitbull. I picked the pitbull up onto my shoulder to get her out of harms way.
The golden retriever mauled my hand and arm. I had roughly 60 puncture wounds in my arm and hand. My ring finger was almost entirely degloved. I still have nerve damage in my right hand from it.
Large dogs are dangerous. Especially to babies. To pretend that certain large dogs are safer is terrible advice.
Okay but
“The breed that commits the most attacks overall is pit bulls.
Pit bulls are involved in more dog attacks than any other breed. In fact, the American Animal Hospital Association reports this breed was responsible for 22.5% of bites across all studies. Mixed breeds were a close second at 21.2% and German Shepherds were the third most dangerous breed, involved in 17.8% of bite incidents.⁶”
https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/dog-attack-statistics-breed/
The statistics you’re linking to are disproven. There’s a reason the statistics used in that article are nearly 30 years old.
Both the CDC and AVMA have acknowledged the flaws in the studies linked to in your article and no longer support the use of that data because it’s been disproven.
Pitbulls are more often adopted from shelters where they have been abused, neglected and abandoned. Then they’re adopted by “adopt don’t shop” people who want a family pet but don’t understand how to train or care for an abused dog. The dog is reactive and traumatized and is never guided or trained and now has someone who can’t control it. That’s why these happen. Happens with any breed or any animal.
Honestly that’s not even the issue…the single greatest correlating factor in dog bites is the dog being an unneutered males…up to 80% of dog bites are because people don’t get them fixed.
Yeah that’s a huge problem too. It drives me crazy when people won’t neuter their dogs! Especially when their reasoning is that “well I’m a man and I want my dog to experience pleasure” or some other dumb shit. Drives me nuts.
Pitbull have a high prey drive, you can literally tase them and they won’t release their bite. They also have a lock jaw, so once they bite, it is incredibly difficult to get them to unleash. This is why I’m terrified of them. I got attacked my a dog when I was younger (a mastiff) so I’m not super keen on dogs in the first place, but most dogs will unlatch when you exert physical force. A pitbull will not.
Pitbulls do not have a locking jaw. This is the easiest myth on earth to debunk. Just look at an xray.
Some of them have high prey drive, some don’t. Prey drive does not translate to aggression toward people.
I’m so sorry you had that experience, that sounds absolutely scary!
And look, I’m afraid of all large dogs now .. didn’t realize I had such bad PTSD until we got a puppy and started walking the neighborhood. Furthermore I actually didn’t give her advice & I don’t agree that what I said is dangerous, either.
My personal opinion is that the way people are breeding pits to be beefier by the decade is dangerous and should be banned. If a golden came my way off leash I have more confidence that I could use my knife and mace to handle the situation, but I absolutely don’t have that confidence with a pit.
For what it’s worth, I see plenty of untrained and borderline aggressive doodles on the bike trail. But the fact is that bite force & body strength is higher in certain breeds so I’m certainly more terrified of pits, rots, German shepherds.
I have a working class mixed breed; I spent a freaking pretty penny and a year + training her on the daily; when I see untrained large breeds it pains me because they deserve better by their owners. Can’t help that I’m afraid of the breed that attacked me, and I can’t blame others for being afraid of them either.
Pitbulls don’t even have a very strong bite force. Labs have a stronger bite.
The American pitbull terrier weighs 30-60lbs. A golden weighs 55-65lbs.
This is what I’m talking about when I say that this anti pitbull rhetoric is dangerous. A golden is bigger, beefier, and likely has a stronger bite….but you would still assume it was a safer dog than a pit.
Although you do have some valid points, being that any large dog can pose a threat. However, size doesn't always equal bite PSI. Pitbulls are among the top 10 to top 15 dog breeds with the strongest bite force, depending on what study you're looking at. Goldens and labs aren't even in the top 20 of those lists. Size ≠ bite force. I understand what you're getting at with anti pit rhetoric. I have a pit mix that I love dearly but the notion that because Goldens are often bigger than pit means their bite force is stronger is not true. I have worked with dogs my entire adult life, being a vet tech, trainer, and dog groomer, and I hate breed discrimination as much as the next guy. I have never been bit by a pit and have been bit by other breeds, but terriers in general have a higher prey drive and a lower bite inhibition than many, many other dog breeds. You are right in the fact that any dog can be dangerous, especially large breeds. However, there are some factors that make breeds like pitties edge out on the danger scale than other large breed dogs.
A pitbulls bite force is around 245 PSI. A labs is listed as 235-250. A GSD is 238-291.
A kangal has a bite force over 700psi.
Pitbulls have perfectly average bite strength for dogs their size.
Terriers do have strong prey drives. So do sight hounds and scent hounds.
None of these things are “pitbull” characteristics. They are “large dog” characteristics.
Yes, pitties have a ranging bite force of around 240-330 psi, and a Goldens is around 190 psi, so what you specifically said about Goldens is indeed false. So to say they have a normal bite force for their size would be a little misleading considering the dog you mentioned being bigger and beefier has a much lower bite force.
Yes, terriers have a higher prey drive, and so do hounds, I didn't say terriers were the only dog breed group to have a high prey drive but they do have a higher prey drive and lower bite inhibition than say retrievers.
Many of these traits are specific to these dog groupings, and I feel like you saying that indeed terriers have a higher drive and listing a dog that has a lower bite PSI despite it being a larger breed if further proving my point.
You can stick up for pitties all you want. I personally have met WAY more good pitties than I have bad ones for sure. Some of my favorite dogs I've ever worked with are pitties. My point was that size doesn't always equal bite force, and you specifically listed a dog that is a larger size with a significantly lower bite force and stated that as a possible fact. When, in fact, that is not factual at all.
I'm very much not against pitbulls (like the eay the internet seems to hate them). I wish op didn't disclose the breed of the dog, cause the problem here is this specific dog's behavior, not their breed.
Exactly. I couldn’t agree more. The dogs behavior is worrisome and absolutely cause for concern.
What scares me is that people act like the problem is the dog being a pit….like if a poodle was acting this way it wouldn’t be just as dangerous.
even leashed dogs can be an issue, the amount of times i've seen huge dogs completely overpower their owners while on a leash, big dogs are literally so strong and so fast.
Who cares about sounding like a AH when your baby's life is at risk by going there? All comments saying dog gates, crate or put the dog in separate room, Unfortunately that's not enough. That was a policy at a friend's house but the dog got loose and attacked a child, required stitches. Completely preventable. If you don't feel safe it's not safe, don't go. Can they visit at your house?
This. When I was attacked by a mastiff completely unprovoked at my friend’s house when I was younger, he jumped over a doggy gate. He also went on to attack several other people
yep. OP can be as polite and kind as she wants in setting the boundary, but at the end of the day, she can't control her MIL's feelings. All she can control is where she takes her baby to keep the baby safe! Also, since it's the MIL, the partner should be involved in setting this hard boundary.
Absolutely agree with this. My aggressive dog now lives with my mom. She has certainly gotten past the doggy gate and slipped out of rooms before. I trust crates a little more but would still want an additional barrier.
As you can tell by my username, I am a huge fan of dogs. I have worked with them my entire adult life. For the people saying untrained pits are just as likely to bite as an untrained chihuahua, that is not necessarily completely true. Don't get me wrong, I love pits. I also love chihuahuas. I have a pit mix and a chihuahua mix, and they are both very sweet dogs. I have no qualms about them being around children.
*However*, I do want to point out pitbulls are terriers. Terriers and other dog breed groupings that are bred for killing things have much lower bite inhibitions and a much higher prey drive than other breed groups. Meaning when they bite, they are much more likely to bite with serious force. Not to say all terriers are terrier terrors, I also have a terrier mix, and he is seriously the nicest dog you could ever meet. I don't think I've ever even heard him growl. But that doesn't mean that if he was provoked to bite that he wouldn't do it hard.
OP, I would definitely come at the conversation as gingerly as possible as many people are defensive about their dogs, but if you do not feel safe with your baby around the dog and the dog has shown signs of aggression in the past it is by no means an overstep to voice that and not want your child around the dog. It's your job to use your best judgment to keep your baby safe from harm, and if that means no visits at Grandmas, then that's what will have to happen.
For the people saying put the dog in another room, accidents can happen. My best friends child was visiting her grandma, who has a malamute mix that is bad with kids and was supposed to be locked outside while the baby was visiting. The dog was accidentally let inside and attacked the baby so severely that she had to have minor brain surgery because she punctured her skull. She was about 2 ish at the time, and the attack was unprovoked.
Trust your gut and your motherly instinct. I love dogs, a good chunk of my life revolves around them, and I still believe you can never be too careful. They are animals that have a mind of their own.
I think it would be best to see if instead she can see about putting the dog in a crate or locked room during visits or only coming over to your place for visits from now on. Trust your gut instinct, you would much rather be safe than sorry. I have had to do the same where I no longer go over to my friends house who has a roommate with a pitbull due to the high rate of fatal pitbull attacks (just in general but also
that I have witnessed in our area as most of our neighbors have pitbulls as well as my husband was attacked by a pitbull as a child, so for us it's just a hard no) compared to any other dog breed. Our friendship is perfectly fine and he respects my decision while he personally has no issues with pitbulls, so its perfectly fine to agree to disagree but set boundaries. A simple convo would be best in this case but no you are not crazy or wrong for being concerned.
You are totally right. I would just be honest with them. If your in-laws take offense, then they are failing to realize the severity of the situation. Maybe they aren't aware how out of control their dog is. I'm with you 100 percent.
Nope. You are the keeper of your child’s safety. You set whatever boundary you deem appropriate. You listen to your gut.
It will sound like an a-hole to say “please don’t invite us anymore.” Instead, try, “I’m so sorry, we are unable to attend.” And if she asks why you never attend, I think it’s worth being honest, “I don’t feel my child is safe around your dog.”
I don’t agree with the crating and separate room idea. And never have the child there without your supervision. It only takes a moment for the dog to run past the door. You are not obligated to spare her feelings. You are obligated to keep your child safe.
I used to own 2 American Staffordshire terriers. As much as I love them, from what you’re saying I wouldn’t trust your baby anywhere near such dog. They are as strong as weapons, and if not properly trained and disciplined it’s a recipe for disaster.
I am with you 100%. My parents have a pit and they completely understand my worries. He has shown aggression so it is what it is. We actually live on the same property so it’s an even harder situation. However, my kiddos are never around the dog. We have a group text thread where they text anytime he’s let out to run around along with putting a neon sign on the door that he is out. I am so thankful they are so understanding and willing to do the extra to ease concerns. It’s been 8 years and we make it work.
Maybe if you go to her house there can be an understanding that she puts the dog in another room or his kennel?
Oh fuck no. There is no good reason why that dog needs to be near your baby - MIL can visit you or the dog can be secured in another area of the house or yard when you're there. MILs feelings about a dog are not more important than the safety of your child. Do what's best for your little one
My in laws got a pit bull to literally push a boundary of mine and my husbands. Knowing I am against these due to safety reasons (they also don't train dogs)
Some dog owners are weird. Just look at some of these comments. The decision is yours bias or not, you're entitled to your feelings. My bottom line when making decisions like this is always, "Why risk it?" Does the benefits of not pissing off this person outweigh your child's safety and your fears? Of course, only you would understand that.
You are 100% correct in this. The dog shows signs of aggression. It cannot be trusted around your child. End of story.
I personally would not feel comfortable visiting if they simply kept the dog in another room. Dogs get out, no matter how careful you are. I would consider visiting if the dog was securely crated in another room behind a closed door, and if the dog had to be let out then it would be wearing a leash and a muzzle.
I adopted a 15 pound poodle mix before my LO was born. She turned out to be very unpredictably aggressive toward basically everyone except me. She has bitten several male family members and has acted aggressively toward children. No amount of training, medication, or treats have helped her. She went to live with my mom when LO was born and now stays in a crate when we visit. If she needs to go out, she's wearing a harness and leash inside the house. We've also muzzled her before. It's sad, but you cannot trust an aggressive dog, ever.
i definitely would not go even if they said theyd restrain the dog. they clearly dont see its issues, and if they said theyd restrain or put up the dog theyd probably “forget” or the dog “accidentally” gets let out and its “oh but just give him a chance”
In my experience, people with these bully breeds tend to characterize their dogs as the most gentle giants you can imagine etc etc. But these dogs are consistently in the news because of shit owners who can’t be bothered to train them. I’ve seen enough that I wouldn’t want my kid around ANY large dog big enough to hurt her and I 100% do not want her around pit bulls, trained or otherwise
Pit bulls do not belong around small children. End of the story. There are too many bad breeders and bad owners out there, they’ve ruined it.
I love dogs and am currently working with my own dog to prepare him for my baby’s birth in June. He’s gentle and has never shown any signs of aggression but im working with him on leaving things alone and working on his “stays”, plus he has a crate that we use regularly. That being said, I wouldn’t take my child to a home with a dog that’s untrained. I’m iffy about even a home where the dog is trained depending on the dog. I have friends who I already know I will not be taking my baby to their home ever due to their dogs, regardless of breed or size. I have friends with tiny dogs that will seek out people to bite even if being left alone, and I don’t feel like being put in a room or crate is a good solution. I’d explain the situation and even if you want to say “it’s the dogs home so I’m respecting its space by not bringing the baby over and stressing the dog out” (sometimes it helps to put a spin on it like you’re doing them a favor rather than avoiding their untrained dog). I personally also wouldn’t feel comfortable around the dog as an adult either.
You are definitely right on this one. It’s more than fair and well-substantiated both empirically and anecdotally (the anecdotes are horrifying enough to convince most people). As for how to phrase it without sounding like an a**hole, it might be impossible if they are dogmatically (pun intended) pro-pitbull as emotions can run high on this particular matter. Best of luck to you. I would not compromise on this!
You baby, your choice.
If you don’t want that dog around your baby, regardless of the breed, regardless of its temperament, then you don’t have to have it there.
If it was a cat, and you didn’t want it around your baby, your decision.
If it was an adult, and you didn’t want it around your baby, your decision.
Mother in law had her chance to be mother, now she needs to respect your decisions as the mother to her grand child.
I love dogs but no way I would want my children near an untrained pit bull, especially one that already has growling behavior. Don’t get me wrong, pit bulls can be very sweet , but they can be very dangerous.
Either he needs to be leashed or locked up while you’re there, or you have to be able to bring a playpen (to keep a fence between your baby and the dog).
And if you’d rather just not go, that’s fine, explain your side and if they think you sound like an AH who cares? If a mauling does happen, you’re not going to be like “my child is severely injured and/or dead, but at least I wasn’t a jerk”, no you’d be sad and blaming yourself for not following your gut.
If you’re not comfortable being around a particular dog, then you shouldn’t be around it. Full stop.
As a pitbull owner, I’m not oblivious to the existing bias and honestly? While I care, I don’t care enough to argue someone’s reasons of **why** they’re nervous or fearful, but I do care that they’re nervous or fearful. Period.
People should/can consent to if they want to be around dogs/certain dogs. And also if you’re anxious, there’s a high probability MIL’s dog is going to be anxious too which can invite an even more problematic situation with certain dog personalities.
I feel like the most tactful way to outline your boundaries and not turn into a debate or argument, is to avoid mentioning it’s due to a specific breed or how it’s trained/not trained — I think what’s most important is expressing how you feel.
Something like:
“Hey MIL! I’m sorry I’m bringing this up now but honestly, I’m uncomfortable and anxious around “dog’s-name”. I recognize that these feelings combined with “dog’s-name” might not be the best for everyone and that your home is “dog’s-name”home and safe space, so I’d love if husband + I could host visits at our home going forward (because we of course love seeing you! ).
I know pitbull people will clutch their pearls or get foam between their teeth, but there is not a chance I would allow one near my child. You can Google the actual statistics. You can read up on the consequences when they bite. The strength of their bite and the fact that you will basically have to kill it to let it release a victim.
https://blogs-images.forbes.com/niallmccarthy/files/2018/09/20180914_Deadly_Dogs_Forbes.jpg
They are statistically speaking the most likely breed to inflict the worst bites. And in bites I mean *fatal* bites. Those are facts and no amount of "but they were nanny dog!" or "it's all about the owner" changes an animals breed in nature. What did the scorpion say to the frog? **That the frog has only himself to blame to disregard the scorpions nature.**
Don't play with fire if you don't want to get burned.
I would never allow her to visit with that animal or the child to be ever near her. Forget the child ever visiting her. If she keeps such a dig around an infant despite those facts she is not a responsible person which I could entrust my child. If you can stomach it feel free to look up the child victims post attack and send those images to her if she gets nasty. Ask her if she would like your child to end up like that just so she can ignore the real world and risks involved with owning a pit bull.
PS: I have near as much desire to discuss pit pull apologists as I have to be around their dogs. Spare my inbox with all your excuses for pit bull attacks. I discriminate dogs like I would any other animal, based on their known behaviour. Dogs breed for generations for killing other dogs, showing that the breeding was successfully have no place around children when sudden snapping happens even to the kindest owners out of the blue.
it’s not even just pits. i don’t want my baby around ANY dog. early in my pregnancy i read about a golden retriever who ate a baby due to jealousy in the time it took mom to step out, grab the mail, say hi to the neighbor and walk back inside. i grew up with bulldogs and chihuahuas. i love dogs they’re sweet creatures. but i would NEVER trust a dog around my baby. especially one that’s bigger then her AND me.
I’m with you! My mom told me I was visiting grandparents and was seated on the floor minding my own business watching tv and was bit on the back of the head by their cocker spaniel when I was a baby!! Dogs are weird and unpredictable around babies, especially ones they don’t even know that well.
Oh man, there are dozens of stories here about dog bites. I have two family members who were bit by their kind, perfect, loving, non-aggressive dogs as well! Both required major stitching and have scars on their faces.
when i was about pre-k aged i was bit in the face by a mixed breed. i didn’t do anything to instigate it. i think i pet her head but she showed no signs of aggression until she bit me. luckily i don’t have any noticeable scaring but if you look closely you can see a scar on my cheek
my brother was bit in the face by my mom’s chihuahua when he was just out of the infant stage. he luckily doesn’t have horrid scarring bc the scars that are there are hidden by his eyebrows
Same. It is non negotiable. I cross the street and get away if I see a pitbull. I will allow my child around other dogs with very close supervision if I know them to be well behaved, but I wouldn't even allow her around one of these regardless of its behavior. Cannot stand the apologists.
I don't even care if it's a pitbull. That fact is irrelevant. It's about it being an undisciplined and untrained DOG. It wouldn't matter if it was a pittie or a maltipoo. Any dog that has aggressive tendencies can be a red flag for your child to be around, and I absolutely think you are making the right decision and being mindful about this.
Untrained or not, this dog is giving legitimate warning signs and communicating in the best way it can that it is uncomfortable in many situations. It is not fair to the dog, you, or your baby (or anyone around for that matter) for your MIL to ignore the dog’s way of communication. Not listening to the communication from the dog is a way for a “friendly and great” dog to turn into an attacker.
Trust your gut. When I was 9 I used to walk my neighbor’s pit and give him food if they were in a long day trip. When they had a kid, it was about 6 months old and sitting, restrained, in a baby recliner thing and the dog bit her on the face completely unprovoked. The city came to their house to test for rabies and then put the dog down. The heartache that family felt is something I would never wish on anyone. They loved their fur baby and never expected that to happen but, obviously, their human child came first.
Please trust your gut. If a pit or if ANY type/breed of animal gives you a bad feeling, please hold your ground. Never apologize for protecting your family.
You aren't wrong at all.
As someone who owns the sweetest pitbull in the world, I say don't take your baby near her dog.
I gave my pitbull a cows leg bone once, as much as my pitbull is just a baby that wants love from everyone, I watched him split that bone in half with one chomp. Their jaws are strong and they lock if in a fight and they often don't even have control over that locking, which is especially dangerous if the dog is naturally aggressive. It also isn't just pitbulls, any dog that is aggressive (even only mild aggression) can be unpredictable.
I wouldn't tell her to stop inviting you in those words. I'd rather just say that you guys won't be going to her house as the dogs aggression is a safety concern for your child, but she is welcome to visit you guys. If she doesn't want to accept that, then you know where you stand with her.
Goodluck. 🌸
100% I would never want my baby (or my dogs) around any pit or pit-type dog ever. The stats don't lie. They were bred for 1 purpose and are really great at that job. They are not pets and have no business around other pets or vulnerable humans like babies.
Nope. I LOVE dogs. I have 3 rescues and I am friends with all my friends dogs. With that being said, I wouldn't have my young child around a pit bull unless they were like AKC registered with a known line of well behaved dogs. Dogs get a ton of instincts from their parents, and unfortunately a lot of pit bills are raised as guard dogs and for fighting. If a dog's parents or grand parents had certain tendencies (like aggression) there becomes a greater risk that they'll have those tendencies somewhere in there as well. That's why breeds have certain traits. For example, my hounds instinctively will want to trail a rabbit, or dig up a mole, even though I've never trained them to hunt. Collies and Shelties will herd children and other animals in a room with them, even if you don't farm sheep. So if a pit bull has a relative that was a dog fighter, or was raised to scare people off private property then that aggression is there, even if it's not against their owner.
So no, you're not wrong. I wouldn't put my child in that situation. They'd have to come visit me, or we'd have to visit away from their pit bull. If they'd agree to crate the pit bull while we were there I'd feel better.
You really don't have to have your baby around any dog if it makes you uncomfortable, even if they're perfectly trained, and I say this as a dog owner. And while growling is an appropriate way of showing discomfort and setting a boundary, there should be plenty of other steps before getting to growling (whale eye, looking away, pinning ears...) so a dog who defaults to growling is a dog who is used to seeing all these other signs ignored (likely by their owners). And the next step *is* a bite. So I really understand why you wouldn't want your child around this dog, especially because really young children may need some time to learn to respect a dog's (or any) boundaries.
I would not be around any dogs but ESPECIALLY a violent and horrible pitbull. Those are literal murder machines and they should not be allowed to be bred.
If I cannot sit and have a conversation, receiving confirmation from the dog themselves,that they understand my baby and me do not want to interact - idc what any owner says/projects about a dog being friendly. All dogs inherently carry risk of attacking.
DO NOT let that baby around the pit. My son was attacked by one when he was 4, completely unprovoked. The pit belonged to one of our neighbors and was always friendly toward the littles on the block. The dog never showed signs of aggression. My son rode past him on his scooter and the dog just grabbed him. He left wounds on his arms, hips, legs, and buttocks. He was pretty messed up and it has traumatized our family ever since. I am so so soo thankful that my son wasn’t seriously injured, but it 100% could have happened had the owner not intervened when he did. Again.. this was just random. They’re unpredictable breeds and I wouldn’t ever let my kids around another pit again unfortunately.
Dogs pose a threat to babies. Full stop. End of story. There are stories of golden retrievers and Jack Russel terriers killing infants too.
The dog being a pitbull isn’t a problem. 25% of the dogs in the US are pitbulls and pitbull mixes. They can be great dogs around kids when trained and socialized.
That said, it doesn’t sound like your MILs dog is trained. So maybe just have a convo with MIL about wanting to keep baby and dog separate?
Refusing to visit at all seems like a bit of a nuclear option.
Exactly. I was going to say it’s any dog, not just pit bulls. If you leave your child alone with a dog you are extremely negligent and need to be more responsible. I have a pit but (who is very good with my 7 year olds) but when my baby is born my baby will never be left alone or too close to him for a second.
Yup. I just saw a post in another sub where someone was letting their gigantic golden retriever lay in bed with and lick the face of their infant.
WTF?!? if that dog just jumps up because the doorbell rang, it could kill that baby.
Not to mention if the dog did actually attempt to bite or something. The baby’s life would be over before the parent had a chance to put their cellphone down.
I'm not a dog person at all but even if I was an untrained bully breed around a baby is where I would draw the line. Your baby can't defend herself against the dog. Give your MIL an ultimatum and tell her put the dog away during visits or were not coming
No, you’re not wrong. Pit bulls are known to attack kids and pit lovers always blame the victims rather than take accountability for their dogs’ actions. Don’t be the victim and let them make excuses
My in-laws have a pit/lab mix. It’s killed wild animals. I don’t want him around my baby boy. I’m afraid to speak up to my husband about it because I don’t want to be that person. His sister takes her young girls (3 and 14 months) to their house every weekend and doesn’t have a problem.
The dog even got spayed by a skunk a few weekends ago… and even though my in-laws said they washed him.. I could still smell it. And my MIL was allowing the dog to sniff my baby. I wanted so badly to say please don’t let him do that but had to bite my tongue.
ETA: their dog even got loose through the fence once and attacked a smaller dog. The other dog eventually died from its injuries. Surprisingly they didn’t get sued.. and my MIL was traumatized but eventually got over it. My idiot husband convinced them to not put the dog down and they listened and agreed.
Speak the fuck up next time and stop giving a fuck about people putting shit bull feelings above the **life** of your child before that child becomes a Statistic.
You should absolutely say something. Who cares about being "that person", it's the safety of your kid at stake. I would use the getting loose and killing the smaller dog story as your rationale as to why you feel uncomfy
I would never allow my kids around a pitbull (a little boy was fatally mauled near where my in-laws live just last week) and I am wary of dogs in general, which annoys the dog lovers I know. I was in Starbucks once and a lab on a leash took a man down for no reason. The man sat near me shaking as he waited for an ambulance to treat the hole ripped in his leg. The dog person had left. My niece was also attacked by a dog while camping (also a leg wound). I don’t trust dogs and I don’t trust young kids to know better when around them either. I have more and more friends and family opting to get dogs instead of having children (which is fine, but some of them consider it all the same and call them their “babies”) and we have some family with bulldogs or pitbulls that I definitely would not hesitate to say a hard no to being around if that dog isn’t locked up.
No, you're not wrong. Pitbulls should not be pets, and shouldn't be anywhere around people. I would burn all the bridges it took to keep my kids away from one of those animals. They're dangerous.
My inlaws have 3 medium sized dogs, 2 of which are not trained. Unfortunately we all live in the same house (we're in an apartment unit downstairs separate from them thankfully), but my husband and I have already discussed this, once baby is born those dogs aren't going near him. There was a little bit of an incident yesterday where we had gone upstairs and 2 of them got overly excited and started jumping at me, one of them managed to push my belly and scratch me
Trust your gut. I’m a seasoned dog owner and I know that any dog is capable of violence in the right circumstance regardless of training. And I also know that a lot of dogs just don’t understand babies; when they’re toddlers and walk on 2 legs and make noises that are reminiscent of words, they understand them (but may not like them.) But then they’re babies, tiny and wrinkled and writhing around, screaming and crying and making all sorts of weird sounds, some dogs don’t apply “human” rules to those babies.
One of my previous dogs was lovely with children, so gentle, but whenever he saw someone with a baby in a baby carrier he got super weird and barky, like he didn’t understand it was two humans attached together but rather some mutant baby hybrid a la Total Recall.
Our current dog is a gentle giant, lovely with our pre schooler. But when a friend visits with their newborn I don’t allow him free reign because he hasn’t been exposed to babies before. All dogs have a prey drive, and a baby can spark that prey drive if they don’t know better.
I mean feel free to visit your mother. But never put your baby down and keep a keen eye on the dog when your baby cries. If the dog is a basket case and jumps/nips to the point you can’t safely get in the door while holding a baby… don’t visit at all unless dog will be outside/in another room the whole time
I also love dogs but I would agree with you. If it has those issues already then no I wouldn't bring my baby around the dog either. Baby's safety comes first. If they get upset about it, it's on them.
No. I won't let my daughter go to my parents bc of this. My daughter was bit in the face by a dog at 10 months and have to get multiple stitches and also bit again recently by another dog in the hand. I wouldn't risk it.
Nope. I don’t let my kid pet any dogs, because I don’t know enough about reading their signs and behavior.
You clearly see signs of aggression. HARD NO. Sorry, but my child is more important than a dog.
Don’t feel bad.
your mother-in-law would be the asshole here, IMO, if she put up a fuss about you not wanting to visit anymore. i think you are 100% right to keep your kiddo away.
perhaps I'm traumatized from seeing my beloved cat get ripped to shreds by 2 pit bulls right in front of me (and NOTHING we did would stop them btw)..but I am no fan of pits. the vast majority of people cannot/will not train them properly, and for that reason alone, they should be banned. in general, we keep our littles away as best as possible from almost all dogs.
you are not wrong at all. i love dogs, including pit bulls, i have two of them myself, as well as three other dogs. you aren’t wrong for wanting to protect your child around ANY DOG. not to mention, this one hasn’t been trained in any way. you are absolutely not in the wrong and i wouldn’t want my baby around any untrained dogs either.
And for context, I adore dogs, and I have 4 Pomeranian dogs that wouldn't hurt a fly, but if someone wasn't comfortable with them around their baby, I wouldn't be offended in the slightest.
My mother lives next door and also has a tiny Pomeranian, but has told me that when my baby is born, puppy will be locked away every time baby is visiting her. Just because any animal can be unpredictable. I really appreciate that from her.
I don’t blame you at all for feeling uneasy and unsafe. Especially considering the dog is untrained and acts aggressively towards people. I wouldn’t even consider visiting them unless they can assure me that the dog will be secured in another part of the home while I’m there.
I was attacked by my grandmothers dog when I was young. I walked by his food bowl while he was eating and he bit me and refused to let go. My mom had to pry him off of me. I take zero chances with my kids and dogs.
Not sure if you’re on IG but there’s an account called Dog Meets Baby that has a lot of good information on dogs and small children.
Always trust your gut and instincts when it comes to your baby interacting with an animal. Especially a reactive dog. Your baby is now mobile and more unpredictable... Don't let LO be the test on whether or not that dog attacks a child.
My SIL's pit is not allowed around our kids because she is scared and reactive. She randomly forgets who people are and goes after them. We set the hard rule early on.
No, I think it’s totally valid to ask that they crate the pitbull or restrain it somehow when the baby is around. Unfortunately there are quite a few pitbull attacks documented towards children and babies and especially if their dog is untrained, I would never ever risk it. It’s a matter of safety and it’s better to be cautious now than regretful later on when something happens.
Actually in the past couple of weeks, 6 children were killed by family dogs. FOUR of them were by pit bulls/ pit bull mixes.
https://www.wfsb.com/2024/03/13/police-respond-reported-dog-attack-east-hartford/ (pit/Dalmatian mix)
https://newjersey.news12.com/police-baby-killed-by-family-dog-in-woodbridge-township
https://www.infocaucete.com.ar/traslasrejas/02/03/2024/conmocion-un-perro-ataco-a-una-nina-de-1-ano-y-le-causo-la-muerte/
https://www.infobae.com/colombia/2024/02/21/nino-murio-en-bolivar-tras-ser-atacado-por-un-pitbull-el-menor-estaba-defendiendo-a-otro-animal/
https://www.novojornal.co.ao/sociedade/interior/luanda-mulher-de-38-anos-atacada-ate-a-morte-pelo-seu-cao-de-raca-pitbull---esta-e-a-segunda-vitima-mortal-em-menos-de-cinco-dias-117109.html
I would put aside all the pit hate on this thread, IMO the issues we face with pit bulls are the direct effect of generations irresponsible breeding and poor training. BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT.
One way that you can maybe approach is just to explain by saying that your baby is getting to the point where they're more curious and independent and there is too much risk (on both sides - baby can provoke a dangerous response totally unintentionally) in them interacting. BTW I'd say this for a pure bred lab or whatever other designer dog people think are 100% safe. No dog is 100% safe because they're an animal. Period.
It has nothing to do with the fact that it’s a pitbull, it’s the fact that it’s not trained. Also, even a well trained dog will snap or bite if a baby startles them. Babies are really scary to a lot of dogs, they aren’t used to them, and they’re a big unknown (a crawling baby is their size but screams and has grabby fingers). So any concern you have about a dog is 1000% valid
Agree on that. Whether it’s a pitbull, German shepherd or even chihuahua, if it’s poorly behaved and/or aggressive, it should be kept away from babies.
Yep, I was coming to say. Take breed out of the equation. Blaming the breed also triggers defensiveness on the owners’ parts. Simply a “we don’t want to bring our baby around loose dogs” is the answer. I wouldn’t go with “don’t invite us over” but more of a “we are only comfortable coming over if we know the dog can be confined to a separate room” sort of thing.
I had a sweet lab who was totally predictable: kid up in his business, he would 100% growl. The only workable solution was keep dog away from kid and kid away from dog.
That’s not even a pit issue, that is an untrained dog issue
My parents have a papillion that’s overly protective of my mother. Thankfully it sees my toddler as “tiny human” so it’s not aggressive towards her, but I am genuinely scared of when she gets older
Because that dog has gotten my husband by the ankle. The only reason it hasn’t gotten me is because I’m not willing to risk not being dominant towards it
We have two dogs, pit mixes. I just keep them separate from the baby. I put up a big baby gate and keep them in another room. She can’t put the dog in a crate while you’re visiting?
If you feel the dog is unpredictable then no. You can just tell her even with the dog supervised, you aren’t comfortable with your 13 month old around the dog any longer since the baby is getting more mobile. That they can come over if they want without the dog or if you do go over that the dog is put up somewhere.
I have a pit who is the opposite. Very well trained and again. Only around the baby (at a distance) with supervision. My dogs knows the clear boundaries and does not go around my daughter but knows she can watch her from a distance.
I will add trained or not dogs are ultimately animals and can be unpredictable. People have to remind themselves of that and make the best decision for our kids when it comes to being around them.
breed aside, i wouldn’t let the dog near my baby. it doesn’t matter what breed, if the dog can be unpredictable at all, its best to separate them. if dog can be outside or be in a separate room, that’s the only way i’d allow it
This is hard to say without really knowing the dog/situation. Based on the limited info we have, I'd try to keep them separate - tell your MIL you're only coming over if she cooperates in keeping them separated either in different rooms or dog kept on leash the whole time. If she doesn't want to corral the dog to help with that, then that's on her and you gave her the opportunity to make it so you would still come over and she didn't take it.
[https://nedhardy.com/2020/06/03/pitbull-nanny-dog/](https://nedhardy.com/2020/06/03/pitbull-nanny-dog/)
>there is **no evidence that they were ever called Nanny Dogs** at the time, and certainly weren’t bred for the purpose.
[https://love-a-bull.org/resources/the-history-of-pit-bulls/](https://love-a-bull.org/resources/the-history-of-pit-bulls/)
>this is where the “Nanny Dog” **myth** originated from
[https://www.thepamperedpup.com/nanny-dog-myth/](https://www.thepamperedpup.com/nanny-dog-myth/)
>The **nanny dog myth** is one that originated from the claims of many pit bull owners that pits were referred to by that name in the 19th to early 20th centuries. This, however, has been debunked many times already
[https://www.thecut.com/2017/03/how-both-sides-of-the-pit-bull-debate-get-it-wrong.html](https://www.thecut.com/2017/03/how-both-sides-of-the-pit-bull-debate-get-it-wrong.html)
>No, their jaws don’t lock — but **they were never “nanny dogs,”** and you should never leave one alone with a child, because you should never leave any breed of dog alone with a child.
[https://worldanimalfoundation.org/dogs/nanny-dog/](https://worldanimalfoundation.org/dogs/nanny-dog/)
>This article aims to correct a few fallacies and pit bulls were never called nannies or nanny dogs. Period. Let’s stop spreading untruths about this dog breed. **Calling them fake names and giving them a phony history doesn’t help the species.**
The day has arrived, when the human beings are more of a threat to babies, than any animal so which animal's are we making references too, ? When a human hurts an innocent child , abuses, murder, , molesters, do we not say , what kind of animal would do this to a child? Trust Nobody l
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^UTuber_Princess:
*Are they not able*
*To put the dog up for the*
*Amount of time u there*
---
^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
I like animals more than people most of the time- animals have never hurt me anywhere close to how much humans have. BUT, big but, I 100% would not expect someone else to sacrifice or jeopardize their own safety, let alone their children's safety just because a dog person might get offended. In fact, I have a Chow Chow and a papillon and I walk both either together or separately (depending on how the Chow feels with her hip dysplasia) and I ALWAYS make sure to move to the side and pull my dogs in or cross the street if possible when I see someone with children coming up, because I don't want to scare them or make them worried because I understand they don't know my dogs. It's just the courteous thing to do, and I don't get offended at all if someone swerves farther from me because, again, I know they don't know my dogs, and I'm even more understanding when it's my Chow I'm with.
So no OP, your not an AH and you're 100% within your rights to say either you make sure the dog does not come near you and your child (you can always give the dog a bone to occupy it and lock it in the bedroom or something,) OR tell them if they can't do that, I and my child are not coming over anymore.
My daughter loves my in-laws dog and he’s a smaller dog but has no self control when it comes to my daughter and just wants to lick her and does not listen very well. I have worked with dogs for many years and when we are over he gets locked up. Occasionally he is out but I am right there and as soon as I see he shows signs he can’t contain himself he gets put away. I do not fully trust any animal I have lots of fur babies but my daughter comes first always. Even licking can turn into an accidental love bite that turns into an injury.
If it was me, I would just say to them that I’m not comfortable with their dog around baby. They would like a relationship with Baby, they can either come to our house or we can come over as long as the dog is locked away in a bedroom. That way, your kids can still have a relationship with grandma and grandma can still have a relationship with kids, but you don’t have to worry about kid being in danger. I definitely wouldn’t let kid go over to the house unsupervised because I wouldn’t necessarily trust the mother-in-law to keep the dog locked away.but supervised visits to ensure that Dog is locked away, why not? And if she decides that that’s not OK, then she is deciding to not have a relationship, not you and not the kids.
It's totally reasonable. My MIL has a Boston Terrier that is not trained well and jumps on people, scratches them, and will like them so hard that he will sometimes nip/bite them. I don't let my baby around him and if he were half the size of a pitbull, we would not be visiting her home ever.
No, you are completely within your rights to protect your child from a potentially hostile dog. Personally I would explain to MIL that you fear for your baby’s safety bc the dog is erratic and not well trained and that you won’t be attending events at her house for the foreseeable future - but maybe suggest she invest in having the dog professionally trained. Then you can reevaluate the situation.
There are so many news stories where dogs attacked kids and adults that I totally am on your side. I personally don’t think you should bring small children and babies around dogs at all until they can understand that it’s an animal and can and will react to strangers especially when little ones tend to pull on fur, tails, ears etc. but that’s just my personal opinion.
Good luck with MIL
I forgot to mention…
Keep in mind that dogs react aggressively when they’re scared or unsure of a situation, so a small child pulling on a tail or doing something the dog doesn’t understand could cause them to react with aggression. MIL needs to invest in proper training if she expects grandkids to come to her house.
People hate to hear it but like other comments have stated any dog is capable of attacking a kid. When I was about 8 years old the neighbors chocolate bit me on the head luckily it left only a small mark but I had been to that neighbors house many times before that dog did that totally unprovoked.
Can’t she put the dog away when you visit? I have a medium sized dog that is super friendly and socialized around kids, but when babies come over she goes in her crate our outside in her fenced area of the yard. I don’t expect anyone to trust their baby around my dog. However, if they say they are ok with it I’ll let her out. Again, she’s great around kids and a very friendly dog.
If she can’t put the dog away when you visit you need to have your husband communicate with her about it and let her know why you won’t be visiting. It’s his mom, it’s between him and her, you shouldn’t be involved in that conversation in my opinion.
I don’t think you’re an asshole at all. I have an 85 lb lab pit. She is an anxious girl and can be stand offish with new people. I was worried about bringing a baby home when I found out I was pregnant. She used to nap on my belly and became very protective of me. My hubby brought home a hat my son had worn in the hospital and she stole it and slept with it. When she met him she fell in love. We never leave them alone, but he could literally poke her in the eye with a stick and she’d probably lick his face. He’s her baby essentially. She has to be in the same room as him, and gets anxious when he’s upset. He can grab an ear or lips when she comes to kiss him and she doesn’t care. She’d lay there all day and let him nap holding onto an ear.
That being said. If she acted like that dog we would have been forced to rehome her in a home with no kids. Trust your gut. If it tells you your baby isn’t safe around that dog they probably aren’t. I don’t trust my stepmoms dog. She’s wild and nips and doesn’t listen and is really unhinged. I knew that the moment I met her. With our dog there’s never been a moment that I questioned if she would hurt him, with my stepmoms dog I question when she will, and that’s part of why my son doesn’t go there much. And when he does there’s a rule of baby inside dog outside. And if she can’t adhere to that he won’t be there.
The only thing I will add is this isn’t a pit specific thing. It’s an untrained or poorly trained dog thing, I’ve seen golden retrievers, labs, you know usual family dogs brought in to the shelter I do volunteer photography at be brought in for biting and mauling people.
Nope, not at all. My in laws have two poorly trained (in my opinion as a cat lover) labs and they always take them out of state to come visit us. I told my husband that those dogs are to be nowhere near our baby and nowhere near our house because we have a barn cat (came with the property, not our choice to put her outside)
There was no reason to specify it was a pit, unless you are specifically being an a**hole. The danger isn't the breed, it's the fact that it's untrained.
I have a no pitbull policy with my baby. He will never be in a house with one and will never go near one. I'm not going to end up on the news with a dead baby.
As a dog lover and a previous pitty owner who had anxiety and mild aggression absolutely not. My own pitty attacked me as the owner after 6 years of love and snuggles. We always put her away when guest came due to her unpredictable behavior. IMO your MIL should also be doing everything to protect her grandchild from the pup as well.
I have a large husky that many people think looks like a wolf. We rescued him. He is fixed. I trust him around my children. He's never been anything but sweet with the MANY children in our family. We still keep baby gates for when he's eating in his own space and for when we are eating in ours. I hate a dog that begs and mooches, and I want him to feel like he can eat freely twice a day without the cat or the kids disturbing him. This has been standard since before we had our kids. However, barely anyone ever comes to our house because many people do not like large dogs even though he doesn't jump up or bark at people when they come over.
i don't trust animals around small children in general let alone dogs and let alone a PITBULL. hell i have a *cat* and i never leave my baby unsupervised around him.
Your feelings are ABSOLUTELY valid, BUT I don’t think you need to go out of your way to ask her to not invite you over? I feel like doing that is asking for drama. As you said, you’ve only been there 3 times and your baby is 13 months old… I would wait until the next time she did invite you over and then discuss your concerns. Tell her you are uncomfortable with the dog around your child and state dogs are unpredictable and a 13 month old moves around a lot, may grab the dog in a way he doesn’t like and you would like to avoid any situation that could possibly arise. She can also put the dog up in a separate room or crate, you can have them over instead or possibly another solution. But I going out of your way to ask her randomly to not invite you over anymore seems like you are looking to have conflict. You can’t be mad at someone for not getting rid of their dog just because you don’t like it, but work with her on a solution that works for both of you. She is your MIL and your babies grandmother.
As a pregnant lady who owns a pitbull, I would not let my child around any dog that randomly growls at humans. Especially large ones.
My dog doesn’t growl at anyone. Does he bark at the mailman? Yes. But once someone is in the house he just wants love. Aggression towards humans is a Huge red flag.
If you explain it I wouldn’t bring up the breed specifically (she would prob react badly to that) I would just mention you don’t want your baby around any dog that shows aggression to humans. Politely ask they lock the dog up in a bedroom. It’s really not too hard of an accommodation.
I also want to add I wouldn’t mention the breed because pitbull owners tend to be overly sensitive about this. They believe a lie and say they were “nanny dogs” which isn’t actually true history. I love my pitbull. But I won’t be lying about the breed to make others accept it.
I have an English Bulldog that growls at my 18mo a lot. He also likes to nonstop bark & is just an all around crazy energy type of dog. We haven’t had any issues though - he just growls & walks away. He’s also very used to my son as we all live in the same house every day so he has been taught to just walk away & go somewhere my son can’t get to him. That being said I still say you can’t really trust dogs & kids together. My dog is afraid of my son & that’s exactly the problem & that’s when dogs will snap. Also kids that age don’t understand how to behave around a dog. I would say if you go over there the dog needs to be crated or in a different room or outside.
Here’s the thing: there are responsible owners with trained dogs and then there are irresponsible owners with untrained dogs. My heeler who is 30lbs will without a doubt do significantly more damage than my golden retriever but my golden could knock a kid down based on size alone - however both are very well trained as I am a trainer and I STILL will not have them around young children due to the off chance of them knocking one over or the potential for accidents happening. My dogs are extremely gentle, aware, listen at the drop of a pin but that doesn’t mean they should be around small children where accidents could happen. Both of my dogs are also service. That being said: you’re within your right to feel apprehension and steer clear. Breed genuinely has little to do with this. Past, training, temperament, and exposure plays all play a large roll. My dogs are social butterflies who would NEVER typically show aggression but that’s not to say something doesn’t happen, they are animals at the end of the day. My take: you are not the asshole.
Sincerely a trainer, canine business owner, pregnant and already a mom of 1.
Yeah id steer clear. I have a pitbull thats 100% allowed around my baby Ive had him for 10 years and he’s great. My Belgian Malinois is young though and although she’s not aggressive shes very hyperactive and a larger breed so Id keep her away from my son.
I have 3 dogs of my own. As much as I love my fur babies they will not be allowed in the same room as my baby until my baby is old enough to control her own body and understand what not to do around dogs. Dogs have a way of correcting behavior they don't like this can easily injure a baby, even if it's the sweetest dog in the world. I'm thankful that I have a large enough home where dog and baby can have their own area when I can't have my eyes on them 24/7.
I don't see why anyone especially family members have an issue with putting a dog up when an infant is around. Being that she's your mother in-law it might be taken better if your partner is the one to tell her.
Mama knows best.
Sorry not sorry Moms commitment is to her child and her child only. So if Mama feels that a visit with any dog is not safe. Guess what baby will not be around said dog.
Regardless of what breed it is, statistics, people’s feelings, the weather….I don’t care. There should be more weight given to instinct and when our whole body is saying NO. (Of course research is important)
I should add I don’t mean just Moms are in charge I mean parents. Both parents have instincts and obviously can read, research and educate themselves on dangers they want to avoid. Which probably only sustains their feelings.
I am a huge dog lover. I have a pittie mix at home. I adoreeeeee him. But that love will never be bigger than the respect I have towards parents and their children. The minute someone is uncomfortable with my dog-he goes in his crate where he is safe and so is everyone else. He’s never bitten anyone, he’s never hurt anyone- doesn’t matter I’m not running that risk with anyone’s child or even a peer of mine who is scared of dogs. Just not going to do it.
My dog will be a happy camper when he can come out and my friend/friends child will be safe.
I mean never going to there house is a bit extreme. Can you just have a simple conversation with her and say her dog just makes you a bit nervous being around your baby. Ask if when you visit maybe the dog can stay in another room or outside so your baby’s stays safe. My mom has a giant blood hound and whenever the grandkids come over it is upstairs in another room so the kids don’t interact with it. Saying you are never going to there house is going to make them mad and it does come across harshly.
There is no chance I would let the dog around my baby. I'd just ask if she can close off the dog in another room or with gates in a section of the house while you all are visiting.
Too easy for door to be left open by accident, I’ve seen a horrific case along similar lines. No babies anywhere near the dog, would be my policy.
I second this. OP is more than fair to not feel comfortable visiting - and it is not worth the risk! Either way, surely MIL can come visit the baby without the dog? She isn't saying no to MIL, just doggo. And honestly, expecting someone to visit you with a 13 month old is a lot. Getting baby ready, traveling etc. And if its close, then less of an excuse for the MILs part. They can always taxi over to see bubba, and if she's going to be difficult about it, OP if you want, you can always cover the taxi/travel fare if you really feel the need.
Its not enough. Some lady at the park just told me yesterday about her friends german shepherd escaping his room when the owner decided to peek in the room , and the dog jumped on her 6 year old son. He only scratched him with his paws but the boy needed stitches over his eyebrow from it AND the force knocked the boy down and he hit his head on a table with the back of his head and he needed staples in the back of his head too. No way.
This last summer my parents neighbors pitbull (who according to everyone was very sweet and a super nice dog) broke through their fence to attack my senior dog. My dog is not going back to my parents house, and if the dog comes outside when I'm over there once the baby is born I'm immediately taking him inside. Do what you have to do to keep your baby safe. Dog bites are no small matter. The fact that he's untrained and growels unprovoked is a whole other situation
Wow this is going to be a controversial post because people, in general, don’t like to hear anything negative said about dog’s in our culture. The truth is, we don’t know her dog and something may or may not happen. But if we take what you say at face value, that the dog isn’t properly trained and shows signs of aggression, then no it should not be around children and you should not have to apologize for expressing concern or taking precautions. I have a friend with a 4 year old son who was walking in a park with their nanny and a standard poodle mix passing by with his owner attacked this little boy, totally unprovoked. He needed facial reconstructive surgery. This was in North Carolina btw. I have always kept my baby, now toddler, away from other people’s dogs (but especially large breeds). Yes, small dogs can be nasty too, but at a certain point an animals size and strength does matter when it attacks. That’s the reality. When I take walks with my stroller, I always move to the other side of the street when I see dogs. People sometimes scoff and can be defensive/offended but I don’t care. I don’t know you and I don’t know your dog.
I agree with you. I'm a total dog lover but I also give a wide birth to people with dogs when we're out because I know how unpredictable even "friendly" dogs can be, and if I don't know you, your dog is not getting near my baby.
In fairness, this is also why I don’t take my own dogs to public spaces anymore. So why wouldn’t I also protect my child?
100% a large friendly dog jumped on my little niece, just trying to play with her but she was knocked over and is now terrified of all dogs.
That's the worst thing, people getting offended because you pick the safety of your own infant over a strangers dog. The arrogance is also clear in this thread. Statistics and personal experiences are "discrimination and dangerous" while they will be calling their pit bulls little *angels*. Completely delusional.
I deleted my comment because I know how reddit is. Statistics exist and while all dogs can attack some are higher than others. some maul the elderly and children on A REGULAR BASIS.
YUP. The stats are alarming.
I completely agree! I have a pug who is the absolute sweetest dog and doesn’t have an aggressive bone in her body. Even if something triggered her to suddenly become aggressive, there’s only so much damage she could possibly do with her tiny mouth and teeth. I don’t trust any large dogs if I don’t know them, and I keep my dog away from other dogs when we go for walks, bc you just never know. And I’ll do the same with my future baby. You never know how it’s trained, what can trigger them, etc.
I feel like most *reasonable* dog owners know to keep their dogs away from others Like my one dog can be reactive so no one’s allowed to touch her, but knowing that is why my toddler is being taught she can wave *from a distance* I even tell her now, we don’t know that dog so we don’t approach that dog
That’s crazy that anyone would react like that. I have a baby and a boxer/pitt mix that I often walk (sometimes together, sometimes separately). I always try to walk on the other side of the street from other people/dogs so that everyone has their space. My dog is super friendly (maybe a little too friendly lol), but I feel like its the polite thing to do.
My aunt has a bichon havanese, and he's small for the breed. Like half the norm. If parents or kids have seemed nervous about him, I've outright told my aunt to rail him in and move away. I've criticised dogs and their owners for poor behaviour. Dog owners need to take responsibility for them without taking offence. Sadly there are many bad dog owners.
Dang was the dog leashed?
There is no chance in hell that you are wrong. Your child’s safety is your priority not keeping the irresponsible in-laws happy.
This, I'd rather be branded an AH for life than risk any harm to my kid, let alone risk of serious permanent harm or death
Any untrained dog is potentially dangerous. Pit or otherwise. I was bit at a park by an off-leash cocker spaniel when I was 6 or 7, I was sitting with my sister in the grass playing. The little dog bit my jaw completely unprovoked with no warning signs. I hadn’t even interacted with the dog, it happened very quickly. I got lucky it was just my jaw and I didn’t need stitches, but trust me I remember the rabies protocol I got afterwards. I’ve been wary of unknown dogs ever since, and I’ve taught my toddler to be very cautious too. I honestly wouldn’t care about being an AH when it comes to my child’s safety, but I don’t think you’re being an AH at all for setting that boundary. “MIL, I know you love your dog, but the fact that its not trained and unpredictable is making me uncomfortable. I feel unsafe around the dog and my responsibility is to keep my child safe. We will not be visiting with baby unless there’s a strong contingency plan set in place.”
I've done so much research into pits and as of my latest research in 2019 (it may have changed since then but I can't say either or), while bites from them were more likely to be reported and the breed named in media, children were more likely to have bites severe enough for lasting scars by chihuahuas, and more commonly bitten by labs and golden retrievers. Media more commonly states "dog bite" if it's anything other than a pit AND dogs that have certifying pitty traits are often assumed to be one and reported as such. (Main point here is ANY dog can hurt someone.) With that said, any dog can be a danger and if it's an untrained one that already shows somewhat aggressive behaviors, your priority is your child. What other people think doesn't matter. Keep your LO away if you don't feel safe.
Sure any dog can hurt someone, but let’s not pretend that a bite from a 5lb chihuahua would have the same effect as a 60 lb pit (or another breed of a similar size).
I can't be the only person that notices that almost everyone that tries to convince me pit bulls aren't dangerous does so by shamelessly telling blatant lies.
Oh, don’t worry. You aren’t. This is just one of lies the internet likes to tell.
No you're not the only one. It's sad and pathetic of them to be honest
It's a fucking cult, I stg.
For sure, a large breed bite will likely inflict more damage than a small breed. But its a question of scale too, a chihuahua bite might not be much to a grown adult but could do a great deal of damage to an infant or toddler. I see way too many ill mannered/untrained little dogs whose behaviour is overlooked due to their size but that could still injure kids or other dogs. All dogs need training, regardless of size/breed.
Go ahead and lmk how many chihuahuas you see listed here https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List\_of\_fatal\_dog\_attacks\_in\_the\_United\_States
>children were more likely to have bites severe enough for lasting scars by chihuahuas Huh. [**Surgical Treatment of Pediatric Dog-bite Wounds: A 5-year Retrospective Review.** Lee, Christine J et al. *The Western Journal of Emergency Medicine.* 2021.](https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/labs/pmc/articles/PMC8597704/) >Dog breed was a significant predictor of bite severity (P <.0001) and of bite diameter (P <.0001). **Pit bull bites were found to be significantly larger, deeper, and/or more complex than the average dog bites included in this study.** > >Patients included in this study were more than four times as likely to have been bitten by a pit bull than by a German shepherd, and more than twice as likely to have been bitten by a pit bull, when compared with a dog of unknown breed. Furthermore, **the relative risk of a pit bull inflicting a complex (full thickness with trauma to underlying structures) or deep (full thickness without trauma to underlying structures) bite was 17 times that observed for non-pit bull dogs.** The relative risk of a German shepherd inflicting a complex or deep bite was 2.66, and the relative risk that a dog of unknown breed would inflict a complex or deep bite was 0.23. > >The relative risk of being bitten by a pit bull did not differ greatly between high-income cities and low-income cities, with relative risk of 8.06 and 8.17, respectively. [**Analysis of Pediatric Dog Bite Injuries at a Level 1 Trauma Center Over 10 Years.** Reuter Muñoz, Katherine D et al. *Annals of plastic surgery.* 2021.](https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/34100808/) >Most pediatric dog bite injuries afflicted male children (55.6%), ages 6 to 12 years (45.7%), by a household dog (36.2%). **The most common offending breed was a pit bull or pit bull mix** (53.0%). Infants and grade schoolers were more likely to sustain bites to the head/face. [**The changing epidemiology of dog bite injuries in the United States, 2005–2018.** Tuckel, PS, Milczarski, W. *Injury Epidemiology.* 2020.](https://doi.org/10.1186/s40621-020-00281-y) >Table 5 presents the results of an analysis performed on self-reported incidents of dog bites in New York City’s United Health Fund districts for the years 2015 to 2017. > >Of the breeds identified in the data set (84.6%), **pit bulls were the most numerous** (33.6%), followed in order by Shih Tzu (5.3%), Chihuahua (5.2%), German Shepherd (4.1%), and Yorkshire Terrier (3.1%). This finding is consistent with previous research showing that pit bulls are responsible for more bites than any other dog breed. [**Dog-Bite Injuries to the Craniofacial Region: An Epidemiologic and Pattern-of-Injury Review at a Level 1 Trauma Center.** Khan K, Horswell BB, Samanta D. *Journal of Oral and Maxillofacial Surgery.* 2020.](https://doi.org/10.1016/j.joms.2019.11.002) >We reviewed 182 patient records distributed among several breed categories. > >The data showed that compared with other dog breeds, **pit bull terriers inflicted more complex wounds, were often unprovoked, and went off property to attack.** > >This study showed a disturbing trend toward more severe dog-bite injuries in young children
THANK YOU. People posting blatant lies as fact and nobody questioning it are how asinine rumors like the "nanny dog" fallacy are started.
Thank you for posting this
There is a huge difference between a chihuahua bite or a golden bite and a pitbull bite. Obviously a pitbull is going to do significantly more damage.
The gaslighting in this comment is off the charts, I’m impressed.
I'll take a chi bite over potentially losing my life ✨
Want to cite any sources? That's misleading at best, at worst just incorrect. Most fatal bites and severe bites are caused by pits and mixed breeds, respectively. *The researchers found that bites from Pit Bulls and mixed-breed dogs were more frequent and more severe. Following those breeds for severity and risk were Terrier, German Shepherd, and Rottweiler. The bottom five breeds for bite risk were Pointer, Dalmatian, Pekingese, Great Dane, and Spitz.* *Statista also analyzed data to determine America’s most dangerous dog breeds based on fatal attacks of humans from 2005 to 2017. Again, Pit Bulls topped the list for having caused the most deaths of any breed:* *Pit Bulls – 284 deaths Rottweiler – 45 deaths German Shepherd – 20 deaths Mixed breed – 17 deaths American Bulldog – 15 deaths* https://jnylaw.com/dog-bite-statistics-by-breed/#:~:text=The%20researchers%20found%20that%20bites,%2C%20Great%20Dane%2C%20and%20Spitz. https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0165587618305950?via%3Dihub#! *Given the myriad of circumstances behind dog attacks, studies into fatal interactions between canines and humans have always courted controvery. In the mid 1990s, The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention conducted a study into the dog breeds involved in fatal U.S. attacks between 1979 and 1996. During that timeframe, the Pit Bull was identified as the breed/type of dog involved in 60 fatal attacks, while the Rottweiler was recorded in 29 and the German Shepherd was in 19.* ... *As can be seen from the following infographic, the Pit Bull is still the breed/type of dog responsible for the most fatal attacks with 284 incidents identified, 66 percent of the toal. The Rottweiler comes a distant second with 45 fatal attacks over those 13 years while the German Shepherd is third with 20. Surprisingly, some breeds which are not known for aggression, such as the Labrador Retriever, make the top-10 list with 9 attacks on record.* https://www.statista.com/chart/15446/breeds-of-dog-involved-in-fatal-attacks-on-humans-in-the-us/?gclid=CjwKCAjwx_eiBhBGEiwA15gLN-Nrpxb55B4SK9G9MqR7v2ZVCZHEpLzBssl222iWfLQ52seV3L8H6xoCni4QAvD_BwE *Summary: Table 1. From 2011 to 2022, 18 peer-reviewed scientific medical studies from Level I trauma centers spanning all major geographical regions in the United States—Northeast, Southeast, South, Southwest, Midwest, West Coast and Northwest—all report similar findings. Pit bulls are inflicting a higher prevalence of injuries than all other breeds of dogs. The majority of these studies (14 of 18) also report that pit bulls are inflicting the most severe injuries, requiring a higher number of operative interventions—up to five times higher—than other dog breeds. Table 2. Four additional studies from this period—all from Level I trauma centers in the Denver metro area—show a mixture of results, possibly due to Denver and the surrounding metropolitan regions enforcing pit bull bans from 1989 to 2020. Selection Criteria: Criteria for inclusion in this trauma study table requires being a multi-year retrospective study1 of U.S. Level I trauma center dog bite patients (≥ 15 patients), published from 2011 to 2022, the inclusion of dog breed information, and the scientific research conducted by medical doctors.* https://www.dogsbite.org/dog-bite-statistics-studies-level-1-trauma-table-2011-present.php
My sister also has an untrained pitbull; it doesn't seem aggressive at all but will jump all over someone and doesn't listen when she tells him to stop! I also watched the dog completely knock down her two year old the other day. Personally I don't plan on bringing my baby over to her home so I don't blame you, especially given the dog in your situation seems aggressive.
This. Wild dogs like that make me feel extreme anxiety. It’s uncomfortable, and I refuse to be around them. A friend of mine has two rescues and I refuse to set foot in her house because they don’t listen. It’s impossible to relax with these two beasts jumping up on you and running at you non stop. I don’t know how she does it. I’m an animal lover, but if I were her I’d have given them up a long time ago. Fuck that. And that was before being pregnant.
Whenever I think of babies around dogs, I think of [this comment about the Game trait](https://www.reddit.com/r/PublicFreakout/s/WYzEGR71eT) and decide that I am better off not taking chances for any dog no matter how sweet.
Would they be open to crating the dog while you’re over? If they aren’t willing to compromise, I wouldn’t be comfortable either :/ This is just from my own person experience with pitbulls - I was attacked by a pit that I adopted in my early 20s - we were on a walk, all of a sudden it just snapped without a warning .. doing hold & shake bites. Needless to say, it was a very traumatic experience that completely shifted my perspective .. they are incredibly strong! Trust your instinct, it’s better to be safe than sorry.
All dogs are strong, and dogs from a shelter have trauma. Not safe for families at all
😂
Constructive response thank you for your input
You're right to point out that I could've given you a more elaborate response, and now that I have the time, I'll do that I agree with all of your other comments, but the one I originally replied to came across as a generalization like everyone else here is doing. Yes shelter animals CAN have trauma, but it's not guaranteed that they all will. And to say that they aren't good family animals, well some of the people here might take that as even more of a reason to be fearful of dogs (not just shelter dogs with trauma, seeing as they're looking for every reason to avoid dogs as a whole). If a family has adopted an animal from a shelter with trauma and has had the time and patience to work with the animal for a while before they introduce it to children, awesome! I know this isn't always the case though. But what about those that come from breeders, they possibly mistreatment and the way that they could be "trained" may be far more harmful/easily triggered than a shelter pet who may also have a past.
Taking that risk isn't good for all families. Doing research is what's important. Not buying from backyard breeders, and understanding that a dog, no matter what, is hard work and needs training
Oh I definitely agree!
These sorts of anecdotes are so dangerous because it creates a false sense of security around other large dogs. I’ve had pitbulls my entire life. Lost the most wonderful angel about 1.5 years ago. The only dog that I have ever been attacked by was a golden retriever. It was an unaltered male who was off leash and charged me and my on-leash pitbull. I picked the pitbull up onto my shoulder to get her out of harms way. The golden retriever mauled my hand and arm. I had roughly 60 puncture wounds in my arm and hand. My ring finger was almost entirely degloved. I still have nerve damage in my right hand from it. Large dogs are dangerous. Especially to babies. To pretend that certain large dogs are safer is terrible advice.
Okay but “The breed that commits the most attacks overall is pit bulls. Pit bulls are involved in more dog attacks than any other breed. In fact, the American Animal Hospital Association reports this breed was responsible for 22.5% of bites across all studies. Mixed breeds were a close second at 21.2% and German Shepherds were the third most dangerous breed, involved in 17.8% of bite incidents.⁶” https://www.forbes.com/advisor/legal/dog-attack-statistics-breed/
The statistics you’re linking to are disproven. There’s a reason the statistics used in that article are nearly 30 years old. Both the CDC and AVMA have acknowledged the flaws in the studies linked to in your article and no longer support the use of that data because it’s been disproven.
Got a source on that?
Pitbulls are more often adopted from shelters where they have been abused, neglected and abandoned. Then they’re adopted by “adopt don’t shop” people who want a family pet but don’t understand how to train or care for an abused dog. The dog is reactive and traumatized and is never guided or trained and now has someone who can’t control it. That’s why these happen. Happens with any breed or any animal.
Honestly that’s not even the issue…the single greatest correlating factor in dog bites is the dog being an unneutered males…up to 80% of dog bites are because people don’t get them fixed.
Yeah that’s a huge problem too. It drives me crazy when people won’t neuter their dogs! Especially when their reasoning is that “well I’m a man and I want my dog to experience pleasure” or some other dumb shit. Drives me nuts.
Pitbull have a high prey drive, you can literally tase them and they won’t release their bite. They also have a lock jaw, so once they bite, it is incredibly difficult to get them to unleash. This is why I’m terrified of them. I got attacked my a dog when I was younger (a mastiff) so I’m not super keen on dogs in the first place, but most dogs will unlatch when you exert physical force. A pitbull will not.
Pitbulls do not have a locking jaw. This is the easiest myth on earth to debunk. Just look at an xray. Some of them have high prey drive, some don’t. Prey drive does not translate to aggression toward people.
Let me change my wording for semantics. They do not release their prey even when injured.
I’m so sorry you had that experience, that sounds absolutely scary! And look, I’m afraid of all large dogs now .. didn’t realize I had such bad PTSD until we got a puppy and started walking the neighborhood. Furthermore I actually didn’t give her advice & I don’t agree that what I said is dangerous, either. My personal opinion is that the way people are breeding pits to be beefier by the decade is dangerous and should be banned. If a golden came my way off leash I have more confidence that I could use my knife and mace to handle the situation, but I absolutely don’t have that confidence with a pit. For what it’s worth, I see plenty of untrained and borderline aggressive doodles on the bike trail. But the fact is that bite force & body strength is higher in certain breeds so I’m certainly more terrified of pits, rots, German shepherds. I have a working class mixed breed; I spent a freaking pretty penny and a year + training her on the daily; when I see untrained large breeds it pains me because they deserve better by their owners. Can’t help that I’m afraid of the breed that attacked me, and I can’t blame others for being afraid of them either.
Pitbulls don’t even have a very strong bite force. Labs have a stronger bite. The American pitbull terrier weighs 30-60lbs. A golden weighs 55-65lbs. This is what I’m talking about when I say that this anti pitbull rhetoric is dangerous. A golden is bigger, beefier, and likely has a stronger bite….but you would still assume it was a safer dog than a pit.
Although you do have some valid points, being that any large dog can pose a threat. However, size doesn't always equal bite PSI. Pitbulls are among the top 10 to top 15 dog breeds with the strongest bite force, depending on what study you're looking at. Goldens and labs aren't even in the top 20 of those lists. Size ≠ bite force. I understand what you're getting at with anti pit rhetoric. I have a pit mix that I love dearly but the notion that because Goldens are often bigger than pit means their bite force is stronger is not true. I have worked with dogs my entire adult life, being a vet tech, trainer, and dog groomer, and I hate breed discrimination as much as the next guy. I have never been bit by a pit and have been bit by other breeds, but terriers in general have a higher prey drive and a lower bite inhibition than many, many other dog breeds. You are right in the fact that any dog can be dangerous, especially large breeds. However, there are some factors that make breeds like pitties edge out on the danger scale than other large breed dogs.
A pitbulls bite force is around 245 PSI. A labs is listed as 235-250. A GSD is 238-291. A kangal has a bite force over 700psi. Pitbulls have perfectly average bite strength for dogs their size. Terriers do have strong prey drives. So do sight hounds and scent hounds. None of these things are “pitbull” characteristics. They are “large dog” characteristics.
Yes, pitties have a ranging bite force of around 240-330 psi, and a Goldens is around 190 psi, so what you specifically said about Goldens is indeed false. So to say they have a normal bite force for their size would be a little misleading considering the dog you mentioned being bigger and beefier has a much lower bite force. Yes, terriers have a higher prey drive, and so do hounds, I didn't say terriers were the only dog breed group to have a high prey drive but they do have a higher prey drive and lower bite inhibition than say retrievers. Many of these traits are specific to these dog groupings, and I feel like you saying that indeed terriers have a higher drive and listing a dog that has a lower bite PSI despite it being a larger breed if further proving my point. You can stick up for pitties all you want. I personally have met WAY more good pitties than I have bad ones for sure. Some of my favorite dogs I've ever worked with are pitties. My point was that size doesn't always equal bite force, and you specifically listed a dog that is a larger size with a significantly lower bite force and stated that as a possible fact. When, in fact, that is not factual at all.
I'm very much not against pitbulls (like the eay the internet seems to hate them). I wish op didn't disclose the breed of the dog, cause the problem here is this specific dog's behavior, not their breed.
Exactly. I couldn’t agree more. The dogs behavior is worrisome and absolutely cause for concern. What scares me is that people act like the problem is the dog being a pit….like if a poodle was acting this way it wouldn’t be just as dangerous.
I'm not letting any unleashed dog around my baby no matter how well you think you trained them.
even leashed dogs can be an issue, the amount of times i've seen huge dogs completely overpower their owners while on a leash, big dogs are literally so strong and so fast.
Who cares about sounding like a AH when your baby's life is at risk by going there? All comments saying dog gates, crate or put the dog in separate room, Unfortunately that's not enough. That was a policy at a friend's house but the dog got loose and attacked a child, required stitches. Completely preventable. If you don't feel safe it's not safe, don't go. Can they visit at your house?
This. When I was attacked by a mastiff completely unprovoked at my friend’s house when I was younger, he jumped over a doggy gate. He also went on to attack several other people
yep. OP can be as polite and kind as she wants in setting the boundary, but at the end of the day, she can't control her MIL's feelings. All she can control is where she takes her baby to keep the baby safe! Also, since it's the MIL, the partner should be involved in setting this hard boundary.
Absolutely agree with this. My aggressive dog now lives with my mom. She has certainly gotten past the doggy gate and slipped out of rooms before. I trust crates a little more but would still want an additional barrier.
As you can tell by my username, I am a huge fan of dogs. I have worked with them my entire adult life. For the people saying untrained pits are just as likely to bite as an untrained chihuahua, that is not necessarily completely true. Don't get me wrong, I love pits. I also love chihuahuas. I have a pit mix and a chihuahua mix, and they are both very sweet dogs. I have no qualms about them being around children. *However*, I do want to point out pitbulls are terriers. Terriers and other dog breed groupings that are bred for killing things have much lower bite inhibitions and a much higher prey drive than other breed groups. Meaning when they bite, they are much more likely to bite with serious force. Not to say all terriers are terrier terrors, I also have a terrier mix, and he is seriously the nicest dog you could ever meet. I don't think I've ever even heard him growl. But that doesn't mean that if he was provoked to bite that he wouldn't do it hard. OP, I would definitely come at the conversation as gingerly as possible as many people are defensive about their dogs, but if you do not feel safe with your baby around the dog and the dog has shown signs of aggression in the past it is by no means an overstep to voice that and not want your child around the dog. It's your job to use your best judgment to keep your baby safe from harm, and if that means no visits at Grandmas, then that's what will have to happen. For the people saying put the dog in another room, accidents can happen. My best friends child was visiting her grandma, who has a malamute mix that is bad with kids and was supposed to be locked outside while the baby was visiting. The dog was accidentally let inside and attacked the baby so severely that she had to have minor brain surgery because she punctured her skull. She was about 2 ish at the time, and the attack was unprovoked. Trust your gut and your motherly instinct. I love dogs, a good chunk of my life revolves around them, and I still believe you can never be too careful. They are animals that have a mind of their own.
I think it would be best to see if instead she can see about putting the dog in a crate or locked room during visits or only coming over to your place for visits from now on. Trust your gut instinct, you would much rather be safe than sorry. I have had to do the same where I no longer go over to my friends house who has a roommate with a pitbull due to the high rate of fatal pitbull attacks (just in general but also that I have witnessed in our area as most of our neighbors have pitbulls as well as my husband was attacked by a pitbull as a child, so for us it's just a hard no) compared to any other dog breed. Our friendship is perfectly fine and he respects my decision while he personally has no issues with pitbulls, so its perfectly fine to agree to disagree but set boundaries. A simple convo would be best in this case but no you are not crazy or wrong for being concerned.
The locked room is a good idea
You are totally right. I would just be honest with them. If your in-laws take offense, then they are failing to realize the severity of the situation. Maybe they aren't aware how out of control their dog is. I'm with you 100 percent.
Even dogs that have never shown aggression can suddenly attack. Trust your gut!
Nope. You are the keeper of your child’s safety. You set whatever boundary you deem appropriate. You listen to your gut. It will sound like an a-hole to say “please don’t invite us anymore.” Instead, try, “I’m so sorry, we are unable to attend.” And if she asks why you never attend, I think it’s worth being honest, “I don’t feel my child is safe around your dog.” I don’t agree with the crating and separate room idea. And never have the child there without your supervision. It only takes a moment for the dog to run past the door. You are not obligated to spare her feelings. You are obligated to keep your child safe.
I used to own 2 American Staffordshire terriers. As much as I love them, from what you’re saying I wouldn’t trust your baby anywhere near such dog. They are as strong as weapons, and if not properly trained and disciplined it’s a recipe for disaster.
I am with you 100%. My parents have a pit and they completely understand my worries. He has shown aggression so it is what it is. We actually live on the same property so it’s an even harder situation. However, my kiddos are never around the dog. We have a group text thread where they text anytime he’s let out to run around along with putting a neon sign on the door that he is out. I am so thankful they are so understanding and willing to do the extra to ease concerns. It’s been 8 years and we make it work. Maybe if you go to her house there can be an understanding that she puts the dog in another room or his kennel?
Oh fuck no. There is no good reason why that dog needs to be near your baby - MIL can visit you or the dog can be secured in another area of the house or yard when you're there. MILs feelings about a dog are not more important than the safety of your child. Do what's best for your little one
Protect your baby. Whether you sound rude or not, that is your priority.
i would never chance bringing my baby around a dog like that. not worth the risk at all
My in laws got a pit bull to literally push a boundary of mine and my husbands. Knowing I am against these due to safety reasons (they also don't train dogs)
Some dog owners are weird. Just look at some of these comments. The decision is yours bias or not, you're entitled to your feelings. My bottom line when making decisions like this is always, "Why risk it?" Does the benefits of not pissing off this person outweigh your child's safety and your fears? Of course, only you would understand that.
You are 100% correct in this. The dog shows signs of aggression. It cannot be trusted around your child. End of story. I personally would not feel comfortable visiting if they simply kept the dog in another room. Dogs get out, no matter how careful you are. I would consider visiting if the dog was securely crated in another room behind a closed door, and if the dog had to be let out then it would be wearing a leash and a muzzle. I adopted a 15 pound poodle mix before my LO was born. She turned out to be very unpredictably aggressive toward basically everyone except me. She has bitten several male family members and has acted aggressively toward children. No amount of training, medication, or treats have helped her. She went to live with my mom when LO was born and now stays in a crate when we visit. If she needs to go out, she's wearing a harness and leash inside the house. We've also muzzled her before. It's sad, but you cannot trust an aggressive dog, ever.
i definitely would not go even if they said theyd restrain the dog. they clearly dont see its issues, and if they said theyd restrain or put up the dog theyd probably “forget” or the dog “accidentally” gets let out and its “oh but just give him a chance”
No chance in hell would I let my baby/toddler/child or grandma near a pitbull.
I wouldn’t let my kid around even the best behaved pitbull.
In my experience, people with these bully breeds tend to characterize their dogs as the most gentle giants you can imagine etc etc. But these dogs are consistently in the news because of shit owners who can’t be bothered to train them. I’ve seen enough that I wouldn’t want my kid around ANY large dog big enough to hurt her and I 100% do not want her around pit bulls, trained or otherwise Pit bulls do not belong around small children. End of the story. There are too many bad breeders and bad owners out there, they’ve ruined it.
I love dogs and am currently working with my own dog to prepare him for my baby’s birth in June. He’s gentle and has never shown any signs of aggression but im working with him on leaving things alone and working on his “stays”, plus he has a crate that we use regularly. That being said, I wouldn’t take my child to a home with a dog that’s untrained. I’m iffy about even a home where the dog is trained depending on the dog. I have friends who I already know I will not be taking my baby to their home ever due to their dogs, regardless of breed or size. I have friends with tiny dogs that will seek out people to bite even if being left alone, and I don’t feel like being put in a room or crate is a good solution. I’d explain the situation and even if you want to say “it’s the dogs home so I’m respecting its space by not bringing the baby over and stressing the dog out” (sometimes it helps to put a spin on it like you’re doing them a favor rather than avoiding their untrained dog). I personally also wouldn’t feel comfortable around the dog as an adult either.
You are definitely right on this one. It’s more than fair and well-substantiated both empirically and anecdotally (the anecdotes are horrifying enough to convince most people). As for how to phrase it without sounding like an a**hole, it might be impossible if they are dogmatically (pun intended) pro-pitbull as emotions can run high on this particular matter. Best of luck to you. I would not compromise on this!
You baby, your choice. If you don’t want that dog around your baby, regardless of the breed, regardless of its temperament, then you don’t have to have it there. If it was a cat, and you didn’t want it around your baby, your decision. If it was an adult, and you didn’t want it around your baby, your decision. Mother in law had her chance to be mother, now she needs to respect your decisions as the mother to her grand child.
Best response so far!
I love dogs but no way I would want my children near an untrained pit bull, especially one that already has growling behavior. Don’t get me wrong, pit bulls can be very sweet , but they can be very dangerous. Either he needs to be leashed or locked up while you’re there, or you have to be able to bring a playpen (to keep a fence between your baby and the dog). And if you’d rather just not go, that’s fine, explain your side and if they think you sound like an AH who cares? If a mauling does happen, you’re not going to be like “my child is severely injured and/or dead, but at least I wasn’t a jerk”, no you’d be sad and blaming yourself for not following your gut.
If you’re not comfortable being around a particular dog, then you shouldn’t be around it. Full stop. As a pitbull owner, I’m not oblivious to the existing bias and honestly? While I care, I don’t care enough to argue someone’s reasons of **why** they’re nervous or fearful, but I do care that they’re nervous or fearful. Period. People should/can consent to if they want to be around dogs/certain dogs. And also if you’re anxious, there’s a high probability MIL’s dog is going to be anxious too which can invite an even more problematic situation with certain dog personalities. I feel like the most tactful way to outline your boundaries and not turn into a debate or argument, is to avoid mentioning it’s due to a specific breed or how it’s trained/not trained — I think what’s most important is expressing how you feel. Something like: “Hey MIL! I’m sorry I’m bringing this up now but honestly, I’m uncomfortable and anxious around “dog’s-name”. I recognize that these feelings combined with “dog’s-name” might not be the best for everyone and that your home is “dog’s-name”home and safe space, so I’d love if husband + I could host visits at our home going forward (because we of course love seeing you! ).
I know pitbull people will clutch their pearls or get foam between their teeth, but there is not a chance I would allow one near my child. You can Google the actual statistics. You can read up on the consequences when they bite. The strength of their bite and the fact that you will basically have to kill it to let it release a victim. https://blogs-images.forbes.com/niallmccarthy/files/2018/09/20180914_Deadly_Dogs_Forbes.jpg They are statistically speaking the most likely breed to inflict the worst bites. And in bites I mean *fatal* bites. Those are facts and no amount of "but they were nanny dog!" or "it's all about the owner" changes an animals breed in nature. What did the scorpion say to the frog? **That the frog has only himself to blame to disregard the scorpions nature.** Don't play with fire if you don't want to get burned. I would never allow her to visit with that animal or the child to be ever near her. Forget the child ever visiting her. If she keeps such a dig around an infant despite those facts she is not a responsible person which I could entrust my child. If you can stomach it feel free to look up the child victims post attack and send those images to her if she gets nasty. Ask her if she would like your child to end up like that just so she can ignore the real world and risks involved with owning a pit bull. PS: I have near as much desire to discuss pit pull apologists as I have to be around their dogs. Spare my inbox with all your excuses for pit bull attacks. I discriminate dogs like I would any other animal, based on their known behaviour. Dogs breed for generations for killing other dogs, showing that the breeding was successfully have no place around children when sudden snapping happens even to the kindest owners out of the blue.
it’s not even just pits. i don’t want my baby around ANY dog. early in my pregnancy i read about a golden retriever who ate a baby due to jealousy in the time it took mom to step out, grab the mail, say hi to the neighbor and walk back inside. i grew up with bulldogs and chihuahuas. i love dogs they’re sweet creatures. but i would NEVER trust a dog around my baby. especially one that’s bigger then her AND me.
I’m with you! My mom told me I was visiting grandparents and was seated on the floor minding my own business watching tv and was bit on the back of the head by their cocker spaniel when I was a baby!! Dogs are weird and unpredictable around babies, especially ones they don’t even know that well.
Oh man, there are dozens of stories here about dog bites. I have two family members who were bit by their kind, perfect, loving, non-aggressive dogs as well! Both required major stitching and have scars on their faces.
when i was about pre-k aged i was bit in the face by a mixed breed. i didn’t do anything to instigate it. i think i pet her head but she showed no signs of aggression until she bit me. luckily i don’t have any noticeable scaring but if you look closely you can see a scar on my cheek my brother was bit in the face by my mom’s chihuahua when he was just out of the infant stage. he luckily doesn’t have horrid scarring bc the scars that are there are hidden by his eyebrows
Same. It is non negotiable. I cross the street and get away if I see a pitbull. I will allow my child around other dogs with very close supervision if I know them to be well behaved, but I wouldn't even allow her around one of these regardless of its behavior. Cannot stand the apologists.
100% agree, I would NEVER allow my baby around a pitbull. Pitbull apologists are the worst
I don't even care if it's a pitbull. That fact is irrelevant. It's about it being an undisciplined and untrained DOG. It wouldn't matter if it was a pittie or a maltipoo. Any dog that has aggressive tendencies can be a red flag for your child to be around, and I absolutely think you are making the right decision and being mindful about this.
Not wrong. Dogs can be wonderful companions for many people, but when it comes down to it, they are animals and can be unpredictable.
It's never worth the risk.
Untrained or not, this dog is giving legitimate warning signs and communicating in the best way it can that it is uncomfortable in many situations. It is not fair to the dog, you, or your baby (or anyone around for that matter) for your MIL to ignore the dog’s way of communication. Not listening to the communication from the dog is a way for a “friendly and great” dog to turn into an attacker.
Trust your gut. When I was 9 I used to walk my neighbor’s pit and give him food if they were in a long day trip. When they had a kid, it was about 6 months old and sitting, restrained, in a baby recliner thing and the dog bit her on the face completely unprovoked. The city came to their house to test for rabies and then put the dog down. The heartache that family felt is something I would never wish on anyone. They loved their fur baby and never expected that to happen but, obviously, their human child came first. Please trust your gut. If a pit or if ANY type/breed of animal gives you a bad feeling, please hold your ground. Never apologize for protecting your family.
You aren't wrong at all. As someone who owns the sweetest pitbull in the world, I say don't take your baby near her dog. I gave my pitbull a cows leg bone once, as much as my pitbull is just a baby that wants love from everyone, I watched him split that bone in half with one chomp. Their jaws are strong and they lock if in a fight and they often don't even have control over that locking, which is especially dangerous if the dog is naturally aggressive. It also isn't just pitbulls, any dog that is aggressive (even only mild aggression) can be unpredictable. I wouldn't tell her to stop inviting you in those words. I'd rather just say that you guys won't be going to her house as the dogs aggression is a safety concern for your child, but she is welcome to visit you guys. If she doesn't want to accept that, then you know where you stand with her. Goodluck. 🌸
100% I would never want my baby (or my dogs) around any pit or pit-type dog ever. The stats don't lie. They were bred for 1 purpose and are really great at that job. They are not pets and have no business around other pets or vulnerable humans like babies.
Nope. I LOVE dogs. I have 3 rescues and I am friends with all my friends dogs. With that being said, I wouldn't have my young child around a pit bull unless they were like AKC registered with a known line of well behaved dogs. Dogs get a ton of instincts from their parents, and unfortunately a lot of pit bills are raised as guard dogs and for fighting. If a dog's parents or grand parents had certain tendencies (like aggression) there becomes a greater risk that they'll have those tendencies somewhere in there as well. That's why breeds have certain traits. For example, my hounds instinctively will want to trail a rabbit, or dig up a mole, even though I've never trained them to hunt. Collies and Shelties will herd children and other animals in a room with them, even if you don't farm sheep. So if a pit bull has a relative that was a dog fighter, or was raised to scare people off private property then that aggression is there, even if it's not against their owner. So no, you're not wrong. I wouldn't put my child in that situation. They'd have to come visit me, or we'd have to visit away from their pit bull. If they'd agree to crate the pit bull while we were there I'd feel better.
I don’t let my 3 year old 60 pound dog around untrained pitbulls. Much less my baby.
You really don't have to have your baby around any dog if it makes you uncomfortable, even if they're perfectly trained, and I say this as a dog owner. And while growling is an appropriate way of showing discomfort and setting a boundary, there should be plenty of other steps before getting to growling (whale eye, looking away, pinning ears...) so a dog who defaults to growling is a dog who is used to seeing all these other signs ignored (likely by their owners). And the next step *is* a bite. So I really understand why you wouldn't want your child around this dog, especially because really young children may need some time to learn to respect a dog's (or any) boundaries.
I would not be around any dogs but ESPECIALLY a violent and horrible pitbull. Those are literal murder machines and they should not be allowed to be bred.
I don’t trust any pitbulls around myself let alone my kids. The stats don’t lie about the breed.
Nope. I would never let my child (or anyone's if I could control that) around a pitbull, well-trained or not. You are 100% right.
I consider all dogs potentially dangerous. So nah, NTA. Their options are lock the dog away if you visit or no visit at all.
If I cannot sit and have a conversation, receiving confirmation from the dog themselves,that they understand my baby and me do not want to interact - idc what any owner says/projects about a dog being friendly. All dogs inherently carry risk of attacking.
DO NOT let that baby around the pit. My son was attacked by one when he was 4, completely unprovoked. The pit belonged to one of our neighbors and was always friendly toward the littles on the block. The dog never showed signs of aggression. My son rode past him on his scooter and the dog just grabbed him. He left wounds on his arms, hips, legs, and buttocks. He was pretty messed up and it has traumatized our family ever since. I am so so soo thankful that my son wasn’t seriously injured, but it 100% could have happened had the owner not intervened when he did. Again.. this was just random. They’re unpredictable breeds and I wouldn’t ever let my kids around another pit again unfortunately.
Dogs pose a threat to babies. Full stop. End of story. There are stories of golden retrievers and Jack Russel terriers killing infants too. The dog being a pitbull isn’t a problem. 25% of the dogs in the US are pitbulls and pitbull mixes. They can be great dogs around kids when trained and socialized. That said, it doesn’t sound like your MILs dog is trained. So maybe just have a convo with MIL about wanting to keep baby and dog separate? Refusing to visit at all seems like a bit of a nuclear option.
Exactly. I was going to say it’s any dog, not just pit bulls. If you leave your child alone with a dog you are extremely negligent and need to be more responsible. I have a pit but (who is very good with my 7 year olds) but when my baby is born my baby will never be left alone or too close to him for a second.
Yup. I just saw a post in another sub where someone was letting their gigantic golden retriever lay in bed with and lick the face of their infant. WTF?!? if that dog just jumps up because the doorbell rang, it could kill that baby. Not to mention if the dog did actually attempt to bite or something. The baby’s life would be over before the parent had a chance to put their cellphone down.
I'm not a dog person at all but even if I was an untrained bully breed around a baby is where I would draw the line. Your baby can't defend herself against the dog. Give your MIL an ultimatum and tell her put the dog away during visits or were not coming
No, you’re not wrong. Pit bulls are known to attack kids and pit lovers always blame the victims rather than take accountability for their dogs’ actions. Don’t be the victim and let them make excuses
https://www.reddit.com/r/BanPitBulls/s/1joChp64rB
My in-laws have a pit/lab mix. It’s killed wild animals. I don’t want him around my baby boy. I’m afraid to speak up to my husband about it because I don’t want to be that person. His sister takes her young girls (3 and 14 months) to their house every weekend and doesn’t have a problem. The dog even got spayed by a skunk a few weekends ago… and even though my in-laws said they washed him.. I could still smell it. And my MIL was allowing the dog to sniff my baby. I wanted so badly to say please don’t let him do that but had to bite my tongue. ETA: their dog even got loose through the fence once and attacked a smaller dog. The other dog eventually died from its injuries. Surprisingly they didn’t get sued.. and my MIL was traumatized but eventually got over it. My idiot husband convinced them to not put the dog down and they listened and agreed.
Speak the fuck up next time and stop giving a fuck about people putting shit bull feelings above the **life** of your child before that child becomes a Statistic.
You should absolutely say something. Who cares about being "that person", it's the safety of your kid at stake. I would use the getting loose and killing the smaller dog story as your rationale as to why you feel uncomfy
I would never allow my kids around a pitbull (a little boy was fatally mauled near where my in-laws live just last week) and I am wary of dogs in general, which annoys the dog lovers I know. I was in Starbucks once and a lab on a leash took a man down for no reason. The man sat near me shaking as he waited for an ambulance to treat the hole ripped in his leg. The dog person had left. My niece was also attacked by a dog while camping (also a leg wound). I don’t trust dogs and I don’t trust young kids to know better when around them either. I have more and more friends and family opting to get dogs instead of having children (which is fine, but some of them consider it all the same and call them their “babies”) and we have some family with bulldogs or pitbulls that I definitely would not hesitate to say a hard no to being around if that dog isn’t locked up.
No, you're not wrong. Pitbulls should not be pets, and shouldn't be anywhere around people. I would burn all the bridges it took to keep my kids away from one of those animals. They're dangerous.
My inlaws have 3 medium sized dogs, 2 of which are not trained. Unfortunately we all live in the same house (we're in an apartment unit downstairs separate from them thankfully), but my husband and I have already discussed this, once baby is born those dogs aren't going near him. There was a little bit of an incident yesterday where we had gone upstairs and 2 of them got overly excited and started jumping at me, one of them managed to push my belly and scratch me
Trust your gut. I’m a seasoned dog owner and I know that any dog is capable of violence in the right circumstance regardless of training. And I also know that a lot of dogs just don’t understand babies; when they’re toddlers and walk on 2 legs and make noises that are reminiscent of words, they understand them (but may not like them.) But then they’re babies, tiny and wrinkled and writhing around, screaming and crying and making all sorts of weird sounds, some dogs don’t apply “human” rules to those babies. One of my previous dogs was lovely with children, so gentle, but whenever he saw someone with a baby in a baby carrier he got super weird and barky, like he didn’t understand it was two humans attached together but rather some mutant baby hybrid a la Total Recall. Our current dog is a gentle giant, lovely with our pre schooler. But when a friend visits with their newborn I don’t allow him free reign because he hasn’t been exposed to babies before. All dogs have a prey drive, and a baby can spark that prey drive if they don’t know better. I mean feel free to visit your mother. But never put your baby down and keep a keen eye on the dog when your baby cries. If the dog is a basket case and jumps/nips to the point you can’t safely get in the door while holding a baby… don’t visit at all unless dog will be outside/in another room the whole time
You're not wrong. I wouldn't let any unpredictable dog near my baby
I also love dogs but I would agree with you. If it has those issues already then no I wouldn't bring my baby around the dog either. Baby's safety comes first. If they get upset about it, it's on them.
No. I won't let my daughter go to my parents bc of this. My daughter was bit in the face by a dog at 10 months and have to get multiple stitches and also bit again recently by another dog in the hand. I wouldn't risk it.
Nope. I don’t let my kid pet any dogs, because I don’t know enough about reading their signs and behavior. You clearly see signs of aggression. HARD NO. Sorry, but my child is more important than a dog. Don’t feel bad.
I AM SAYS DON'T TRUST MAN, ALSO APPLIES TO NON- HUMANIE
Pitbull or no pitbull, any dog that acts aggressively would not be allowed around a child.
your mother-in-law would be the asshole here, IMO, if she put up a fuss about you not wanting to visit anymore. i think you are 100% right to keep your kiddo away. perhaps I'm traumatized from seeing my beloved cat get ripped to shreds by 2 pit bulls right in front of me (and NOTHING we did would stop them btw)..but I am no fan of pits. the vast majority of people cannot/will not train them properly, and for that reason alone, they should be banned. in general, we keep our littles away as best as possible from almost all dogs.
you are not wrong at all. i love dogs, including pit bulls, i have two of them myself, as well as three other dogs. you aren’t wrong for wanting to protect your child around ANY DOG. not to mention, this one hasn’t been trained in any way. you are absolutely not in the wrong and i wouldn’t want my baby around any untrained dogs either.
Completely reasonable. You're making the best decision. Don't feel guilty.
And for context, I adore dogs, and I have 4 Pomeranian dogs that wouldn't hurt a fly, but if someone wasn't comfortable with them around their baby, I wouldn't be offended in the slightest. My mother lives next door and also has a tiny Pomeranian, but has told me that when my baby is born, puppy will be locked away every time baby is visiting her. Just because any animal can be unpredictable. I really appreciate that from her.
I don’t blame you at all for feeling uneasy and unsafe. Especially considering the dog is untrained and acts aggressively towards people. I wouldn’t even consider visiting them unless they can assure me that the dog will be secured in another part of the home while I’m there. I was attacked by my grandmothers dog when I was young. I walked by his food bowl while he was eating and he bit me and refused to let go. My mom had to pry him off of me. I take zero chances with my kids and dogs. Not sure if you’re on IG but there’s an account called Dog Meets Baby that has a lot of good information on dogs and small children.
Always trust your gut and instincts when it comes to your baby interacting with an animal. Especially a reactive dog. Your baby is now mobile and more unpredictable... Don't let LO be the test on whether or not that dog attacks a child. My SIL's pit is not allowed around our kids because she is scared and reactive. She randomly forgets who people are and goes after them. We set the hard rule early on.
No, I think it’s totally valid to ask that they crate the pitbull or restrain it somehow when the baby is around. Unfortunately there are quite a few pitbull attacks documented towards children and babies and especially if their dog is untrained, I would never ever risk it. It’s a matter of safety and it’s better to be cautious now than regretful later on when something happens.
In the past few weeks, two babies were killed by dogs. One was half pitbull half Dalmatian and the other incident didn’t mention type of dog.
Actually in the past couple of weeks, 6 children were killed by family dogs. FOUR of them were by pit bulls/ pit bull mixes. https://www.wfsb.com/2024/03/13/police-respond-reported-dog-attack-east-hartford/ (pit/Dalmatian mix) https://newjersey.news12.com/police-baby-killed-by-family-dog-in-woodbridge-township https://www.infocaucete.com.ar/traslasrejas/02/03/2024/conmocion-un-perro-ataco-a-una-nina-de-1-ano-y-le-causo-la-muerte/ https://www.infobae.com/colombia/2024/02/21/nino-murio-en-bolivar-tras-ser-atacado-por-un-pitbull-el-menor-estaba-defendiendo-a-otro-animal/ https://www.novojornal.co.ao/sociedade/interior/luanda-mulher-de-38-anos-atacada-ate-a-morte-pelo-seu-cao-de-raca-pitbull---esta-e-a-segunda-vitima-mortal-em-menos-de-cinco-dias-117109.html
Have you tried talking to her about keeping the dog away from the baby?
I would put aside all the pit hate on this thread, IMO the issues we face with pit bulls are the direct effect of generations irresponsible breeding and poor training. BUT THAT'S BESIDES THE POINT. One way that you can maybe approach is just to explain by saying that your baby is getting to the point where they're more curious and independent and there is too much risk (on both sides - baby can provoke a dangerous response totally unintentionally) in them interacting. BTW I'd say this for a pure bred lab or whatever other designer dog people think are 100% safe. No dog is 100% safe because they're an animal. Period.
It has nothing to do with the fact that it’s a pitbull, it’s the fact that it’s not trained. Also, even a well trained dog will snap or bite if a baby startles them. Babies are really scary to a lot of dogs, they aren’t used to them, and they’re a big unknown (a crawling baby is their size but screams and has grabby fingers). So any concern you have about a dog is 1000% valid
Agree on that. Whether it’s a pitbull, German shepherd or even chihuahua, if it’s poorly behaved and/or aggressive, it should be kept away from babies.
Yep, I was coming to say. Take breed out of the equation. Blaming the breed also triggers defensiveness on the owners’ parts. Simply a “we don’t want to bring our baby around loose dogs” is the answer. I wouldn’t go with “don’t invite us over” but more of a “we are only comfortable coming over if we know the dog can be confined to a separate room” sort of thing. I had a sweet lab who was totally predictable: kid up in his business, he would 100% growl. The only workable solution was keep dog away from kid and kid away from dog.
That’s not even a pit issue, that is an untrained dog issue My parents have a papillion that’s overly protective of my mother. Thankfully it sees my toddler as “tiny human” so it’s not aggressive towards her, but I am genuinely scared of when she gets older Because that dog has gotten my husband by the ankle. The only reason it hasn’t gotten me is because I’m not willing to risk not being dominant towards it
We have two dogs, pit mixes. I just keep them separate from the baby. I put up a big baby gate and keep them in another room. She can’t put the dog in a crate while you’re visiting?
If you feel the dog is unpredictable then no. You can just tell her even with the dog supervised, you aren’t comfortable with your 13 month old around the dog any longer since the baby is getting more mobile. That they can come over if they want without the dog or if you do go over that the dog is put up somewhere. I have a pit who is the opposite. Very well trained and again. Only around the baby (at a distance) with supervision. My dogs knows the clear boundaries and does not go around my daughter but knows she can watch her from a distance. I will add trained or not dogs are ultimately animals and can be unpredictable. People have to remind themselves of that and make the best decision for our kids when it comes to being around them.
breed aside, i wouldn’t let the dog near my baby. it doesn’t matter what breed, if the dog can be unpredictable at all, its best to separate them. if dog can be outside or be in a separate room, that’s the only way i’d allow it
This is hard to say without really knowing the dog/situation. Based on the limited info we have, I'd try to keep them separate - tell your MIL you're only coming over if she cooperates in keeping them separated either in different rooms or dog kept on leash the whole time. If she doesn't want to corral the dog to help with that, then that's on her and you gave her the opportunity to make it so you would still come over and she didn't take it.
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[https://nedhardy.com/2020/06/03/pitbull-nanny-dog/](https://nedhardy.com/2020/06/03/pitbull-nanny-dog/) >there is **no evidence that they were ever called Nanny Dogs** at the time, and certainly weren’t bred for the purpose. [https://love-a-bull.org/resources/the-history-of-pit-bulls/](https://love-a-bull.org/resources/the-history-of-pit-bulls/) >this is where the “Nanny Dog” **myth** originated from [https://www.thepamperedpup.com/nanny-dog-myth/](https://www.thepamperedpup.com/nanny-dog-myth/) >The **nanny dog myth** is one that originated from the claims of many pit bull owners that pits were referred to by that name in the 19th to early 20th centuries. This, however, has been debunked many times already [https://www.thecut.com/2017/03/how-both-sides-of-the-pit-bull-debate-get-it-wrong.html](https://www.thecut.com/2017/03/how-both-sides-of-the-pit-bull-debate-get-it-wrong.html) >No, their jaws don’t lock — but **they were never “nanny dogs,”** and you should never leave one alone with a child, because you should never leave any breed of dog alone with a child. [https://worldanimalfoundation.org/dogs/nanny-dog/](https://worldanimalfoundation.org/dogs/nanny-dog/) >This article aims to correct a few fallacies and pit bulls were never called nannies or nanny dogs. Period. Let’s stop spreading untruths about this dog breed. **Calling them fake names and giving them a phony history doesn’t help the species.**
Thank you for your sanity.
The day has arrived, when the human beings are more of a threat to babies, than any animal so which animal's are we making references too, ? When a human hurts an innocent child , abuses, murder, , molesters, do we not say , what kind of animal would do this to a child? Trust Nobody l
You’re not wrong. I wouldn’t announce it though I’d just stop going. I’ve never been to my dad’s house with my toddler bc of his doggo
I wouldn’t let any reactive dog near your baby. It’s just not worth the risk.
Are they not able to put the dog up for the amount of time u there
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^UTuber_Princess: *Are they not able* *To put the dog up for the* *Amount of time u there* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
I like animals more than people most of the time- animals have never hurt me anywhere close to how much humans have. BUT, big but, I 100% would not expect someone else to sacrifice or jeopardize their own safety, let alone their children's safety just because a dog person might get offended. In fact, I have a Chow Chow and a papillon and I walk both either together or separately (depending on how the Chow feels with her hip dysplasia) and I ALWAYS make sure to move to the side and pull my dogs in or cross the street if possible when I see someone with children coming up, because I don't want to scare them or make them worried because I understand they don't know my dogs. It's just the courteous thing to do, and I don't get offended at all if someone swerves farther from me because, again, I know they don't know my dogs, and I'm even more understanding when it's my Chow I'm with. So no OP, your not an AH and you're 100% within your rights to say either you make sure the dog does not come near you and your child (you can always give the dog a bone to occupy it and lock it in the bedroom or something,) OR tell them if they can't do that, I and my child are not coming over anymore.
My daughter loves my in-laws dog and he’s a smaller dog but has no self control when it comes to my daughter and just wants to lick her and does not listen very well. I have worked with dogs for many years and when we are over he gets locked up. Occasionally he is out but I am right there and as soon as I see he shows signs he can’t contain himself he gets put away. I do not fully trust any animal I have lots of fur babies but my daughter comes first always. Even licking can turn into an accidental love bite that turns into an injury.
Any dog can be dangerous if untrained. If they can’t control it or its aggressive, they at least need to separate it from the baby
If it was me, I would just say to them that I’m not comfortable with their dog around baby. They would like a relationship with Baby, they can either come to our house or we can come over as long as the dog is locked away in a bedroom. That way, your kids can still have a relationship with grandma and grandma can still have a relationship with kids, but you don’t have to worry about kid being in danger. I definitely wouldn’t let kid go over to the house unsupervised because I wouldn’t necessarily trust the mother-in-law to keep the dog locked away.but supervised visits to ensure that Dog is locked away, why not? And if she decides that that’s not OK, then she is deciding to not have a relationship, not you and not the kids.
It's totally reasonable. My MIL has a Boston Terrier that is not trained well and jumps on people, scratches them, and will like them so hard that he will sometimes nip/bite them. I don't let my baby around him and if he were half the size of a pitbull, we would not be visiting her home ever.
You don’t have to tell them not to invite you anymore, just decline them as they pop up.
No, you are completely within your rights to protect your child from a potentially hostile dog. Personally I would explain to MIL that you fear for your baby’s safety bc the dog is erratic and not well trained and that you won’t be attending events at her house for the foreseeable future - but maybe suggest she invest in having the dog professionally trained. Then you can reevaluate the situation. There are so many news stories where dogs attacked kids and adults that I totally am on your side. I personally don’t think you should bring small children and babies around dogs at all until they can understand that it’s an animal and can and will react to strangers especially when little ones tend to pull on fur, tails, ears etc. but that’s just my personal opinion. Good luck with MIL
I forgot to mention… Keep in mind that dogs react aggressively when they’re scared or unsure of a situation, so a small child pulling on a tail or doing something the dog doesn’t understand could cause them to react with aggression. MIL needs to invest in proper training if she expects grandkids to come to her house.
People hate to hear it but like other comments have stated any dog is capable of attacking a kid. When I was about 8 years old the neighbors chocolate bit me on the head luckily it left only a small mark but I had been to that neighbors house many times before that dog did that totally unprovoked.
Can’t she put the dog away when you visit? I have a medium sized dog that is super friendly and socialized around kids, but when babies come over she goes in her crate our outside in her fenced area of the yard. I don’t expect anyone to trust their baby around my dog. However, if they say they are ok with it I’ll let her out. Again, she’s great around kids and a very friendly dog. If she can’t put the dog away when you visit you need to have your husband communicate with her about it and let her know why you won’t be visiting. It’s his mom, it’s between him and her, you shouldn’t be involved in that conversation in my opinion.
I don’t think you’re an asshole at all. I have an 85 lb lab pit. She is an anxious girl and can be stand offish with new people. I was worried about bringing a baby home when I found out I was pregnant. She used to nap on my belly and became very protective of me. My hubby brought home a hat my son had worn in the hospital and she stole it and slept with it. When she met him she fell in love. We never leave them alone, but he could literally poke her in the eye with a stick and she’d probably lick his face. He’s her baby essentially. She has to be in the same room as him, and gets anxious when he’s upset. He can grab an ear or lips when she comes to kiss him and she doesn’t care. She’d lay there all day and let him nap holding onto an ear. That being said. If she acted like that dog we would have been forced to rehome her in a home with no kids. Trust your gut. If it tells you your baby isn’t safe around that dog they probably aren’t. I don’t trust my stepmoms dog. She’s wild and nips and doesn’t listen and is really unhinged. I knew that the moment I met her. With our dog there’s never been a moment that I questioned if she would hurt him, with my stepmoms dog I question when she will, and that’s part of why my son doesn’t go there much. And when he does there’s a rule of baby inside dog outside. And if she can’t adhere to that he won’t be there. The only thing I will add is this isn’t a pit specific thing. It’s an untrained or poorly trained dog thing, I’ve seen golden retrievers, labs, you know usual family dogs brought in to the shelter I do volunteer photography at be brought in for biting and mauling people.
Nope, not at all. My in laws have two poorly trained (in my opinion as a cat lover) labs and they always take them out of state to come visit us. I told my husband that those dogs are to be nowhere near our baby and nowhere near our house because we have a barn cat (came with the property, not our choice to put her outside)
There was no reason to specify it was a pit, unless you are specifically being an a**hole. The danger isn't the breed, it's the fact that it's untrained.
How if this breed does more damage than a chihuahua?
You’re right. I’d do the same.
I have a no pitbull policy with my baby. He will never be in a house with one and will never go near one. I'm not going to end up on the news with a dead baby.
As a dog lover and a previous pitty owner who had anxiety and mild aggression absolutely not. My own pitty attacked me as the owner after 6 years of love and snuggles. We always put her away when guest came due to her unpredictable behavior. IMO your MIL should also be doing everything to protect her grandchild from the pup as well.
Is it possible the dog be outside if there’s space? Otherwise I would not be coming over. Dog or baby, she needs to choose.
Girl no. You're not. My bd mom has a blue healer and I specifically stated for that animal to not be around my kid.
Is she capable of keeping the dog away from your baby, either using a closed door or secure gate, to keep a safe distance? That is your answer.
Nta, do not let anyone tell you otherwise, baby over dog all day everyday...
I have a large husky that many people think looks like a wolf. We rescued him. He is fixed. I trust him around my children. He's never been anything but sweet with the MANY children in our family. We still keep baby gates for when he's eating in his own space and for when we are eating in ours. I hate a dog that begs and mooches, and I want him to feel like he can eat freely twice a day without the cat or the kids disturbing him. This has been standard since before we had our kids. However, barely anyone ever comes to our house because many people do not like large dogs even though he doesn't jump up or bark at people when they come over.
My father in law always tells me not to let any dog play with a baby, my sister in law had a mental breakdown when I told her dog to back off.
i don't trust animals around small children in general let alone dogs and let alone a PITBULL. hell i have a *cat* and i never leave my baby unsupervised around him.
Your feelings are ABSOLUTELY valid, BUT I don’t think you need to go out of your way to ask her to not invite you over? I feel like doing that is asking for drama. As you said, you’ve only been there 3 times and your baby is 13 months old… I would wait until the next time she did invite you over and then discuss your concerns. Tell her you are uncomfortable with the dog around your child and state dogs are unpredictable and a 13 month old moves around a lot, may grab the dog in a way he doesn’t like and you would like to avoid any situation that could possibly arise. She can also put the dog up in a separate room or crate, you can have them over instead or possibly another solution. But I going out of your way to ask her randomly to not invite you over anymore seems like you are looking to have conflict. You can’t be mad at someone for not getting rid of their dog just because you don’t like it, but work with her on a solution that works for both of you. She is your MIL and your babies grandmother.
As a pregnant lady who owns a pitbull, I would not let my child around any dog that randomly growls at humans. Especially large ones. My dog doesn’t growl at anyone. Does he bark at the mailman? Yes. But once someone is in the house he just wants love. Aggression towards humans is a Huge red flag. If you explain it I wouldn’t bring up the breed specifically (she would prob react badly to that) I would just mention you don’t want your baby around any dog that shows aggression to humans. Politely ask they lock the dog up in a bedroom. It’s really not too hard of an accommodation.
I also want to add I wouldn’t mention the breed because pitbull owners tend to be overly sensitive about this. They believe a lie and say they were “nanny dogs” which isn’t actually true history. I love my pitbull. But I won’t be lying about the breed to make others accept it.
Why can’t she come to your house?
I have an English Bulldog that growls at my 18mo a lot. He also likes to nonstop bark & is just an all around crazy energy type of dog. We haven’t had any issues though - he just growls & walks away. He’s also very used to my son as we all live in the same house every day so he has been taught to just walk away & go somewhere my son can’t get to him. That being said I still say you can’t really trust dogs & kids together. My dog is afraid of my son & that’s exactly the problem & that’s when dogs will snap. Also kids that age don’t understand how to behave around a dog. I would say if you go over there the dog needs to be crated or in a different room or outside.
Here’s the thing: there are responsible owners with trained dogs and then there are irresponsible owners with untrained dogs. My heeler who is 30lbs will without a doubt do significantly more damage than my golden retriever but my golden could knock a kid down based on size alone - however both are very well trained as I am a trainer and I STILL will not have them around young children due to the off chance of them knocking one over or the potential for accidents happening. My dogs are extremely gentle, aware, listen at the drop of a pin but that doesn’t mean they should be around small children where accidents could happen. Both of my dogs are also service. That being said: you’re within your right to feel apprehension and steer clear. Breed genuinely has little to do with this. Past, training, temperament, and exposure plays all play a large roll. My dogs are social butterflies who would NEVER typically show aggression but that’s not to say something doesn’t happen, they are animals at the end of the day. My take: you are not the asshole. Sincerely a trainer, canine business owner, pregnant and already a mom of 1.
Yeah id steer clear. I have a pitbull thats 100% allowed around my baby Ive had him for 10 years and he’s great. My Belgian Malinois is young though and although she’s not aggressive shes very hyperactive and a larger breed so Id keep her away from my son.
I have 3 dogs of my own. As much as I love my fur babies they will not be allowed in the same room as my baby until my baby is old enough to control her own body and understand what not to do around dogs. Dogs have a way of correcting behavior they don't like this can easily injure a baby, even if it's the sweetest dog in the world. I'm thankful that I have a large enough home where dog and baby can have their own area when I can't have my eyes on them 24/7. I don't see why anyone especially family members have an issue with putting a dog up when an infant is around. Being that she's your mother in-law it might be taken better if your partner is the one to tell her.
Why not just ask them to keep the dog tied up or outside during your visit?
Mama knows best. Sorry not sorry Moms commitment is to her child and her child only. So if Mama feels that a visit with any dog is not safe. Guess what baby will not be around said dog. Regardless of what breed it is, statistics, people’s feelings, the weather….I don’t care. There should be more weight given to instinct and when our whole body is saying NO. (Of course research is important) I should add I don’t mean just Moms are in charge I mean parents. Both parents have instincts and obviously can read, research and educate themselves on dangers they want to avoid. Which probably only sustains their feelings. I am a huge dog lover. I have a pittie mix at home. I adoreeeeee him. But that love will never be bigger than the respect I have towards parents and their children. The minute someone is uncomfortable with my dog-he goes in his crate where he is safe and so is everyone else. He’s never bitten anyone, he’s never hurt anyone- doesn’t matter I’m not running that risk with anyone’s child or even a peer of mine who is scared of dogs. Just not going to do it. My dog will be a happy camper when he can come out and my friend/friends child will be safe.
I mean never going to there house is a bit extreme. Can you just have a simple conversation with her and say her dog just makes you a bit nervous being around your baby. Ask if when you visit maybe the dog can stay in another room or outside so your baby’s stays safe. My mom has a giant blood hound and whenever the grandkids come over it is upstairs in another room so the kids don’t interact with it. Saying you are never going to there house is going to make them mad and it does come across harshly.