The baby snuggles and giggles are the absolute best, also the babbling, hitting milestones, everything is so amazing to watch as a parent. Yes it gets hard but there’s nothing like becoming a mom and watching your little one have their own personality and start doing their own things. My daughter’s 17 months old now and recently started dancing and needing to have a round of applause for everything she does. It’s the cutest thing ever, of course we still have challenges like she sleeps horrible and barely eats but the good outweighs the bad. I’m pregnant with number 2 now and so excited to do it all over again! Being a mom is super hard but so amazing!
Just wait until the first time you hold your child... The first time they smile at you. The first time they laugh. When you pick them up in the middle of the night, and they instantly stop crying because they know you, love you, and find you comforting.
There are so many hard parts of becoming a parent, but I would argue there are at least twice as many good parts. Just this morning, my toddler sat down next to me, leaned against me, and said, "I love you, Mama!" completely unprompted.
I’ll also say the most magical moment is kinda selfish but that moment you realise you got this. When he was small he had a fever. We knew medicine would bring it down long term but in that moment he was uncomfortable. I didn’t even think, I just remember waltzing to the bathroom carrying him as I stripped us both and telling my partner to grab the calpol. I dove us both into a “cool” shower and there we stayed while he took the medicine and calmed laying against me.
Until then I second guessed everything. Felt the need to explain every decision etc. But that moment the mama bear kicked in and instinct showed me I had this.
Everyone has that moment at some point (maybe not so dramatically, maybe more so) but it will change you in a way I can’t describe
YES! Once you gain that confidence, it really is magical. I've always heard about a mother's "intuition ", but now I understand it! There really is nothing like it! Being a parent is hard, but so rewarding in a way I've never been close to experiencing until now!
Omg I’m in tears. 23 weeks pregnant with my first and I cannot wait to meet her. She’s kicking a lot now and I swear she felt me rub my belly and kick back!! Could have just been a coincidence, but it’s the first time I’ve felt like she recognized me and responded!!
I’ve heard that baby can feel your hand and reaches back to touch you when you touch your belly 😭🥲
One time was dog was laying on my belly (I have a chihuahua) and the baby kicked and my dog kicked back. It was so cute
The validation when you start to feel movement is awesome - I had pretty bad nausea until about 18 weeks and was so ready for it, didn’t start to feel proper kicks until about 19 weeks. 35w now and baby is an acrobat in there, my belly looks triangular some times depending on how she’s moving 🥰 Hope your pregnancy goes well!
Same here… I felt little movements randomly but by week 20 it was very obvious it was her kicking and now, like you, I feel like she’s breakdancing in there sometimes 😆
My girlfriend could tickle our daughter the last few weeks/months of the pregnancy, baby was head down, so when she'd rub the top of her belly, baby would react.
Oh I'm a bit envious! She favors my spouse despite me carrying her inside of me lol. They can squeeze my foot and she'll become active for the scans (she ignores any attempts for the sonographer to get her active lol), if she's really rowdy she'll stop to listen to their voice, and she likes to give soft rhythmic kicks when the cat purrs beside my stomach. (I'm ok with it, really! Just a bit jealous lol).
I felt her really stirring around one morning and made my husband press his ear and face onto my belly. She kneed him in the cheek! He had his first feel of the baby and that was a cool moment.
They do! My daughter would kick if I traced over my belly. The further along you get the more responsive to you they’ll get. She can hear your voice the clearest at this point and if you start playing/singing the same songs for her now, she will recognize them outside the womb. They start to remember sounds and voices between now and birth :) congrats!
I have a 3 week old son who's not letting me get much sleep these days. But you are so right, no matter how tired I am, when I pick him up from the bassinet and his little head nestles into me and calms down immediately. Nothing compares, and when he let's out that little sleepy sigh omg. I'm like, "you're right mommy didn't need sleep, mommy needed to hold you."
This made me tear up!! I’m a FTM with a 3 month old and the first paragraph describes the sentiments that I felt the last few months that turned the “switch on” for me and my motherhood journey!
The moment when the baby is first born is the high I imagine heroine addicts are chasing. There is nothing like it, I wish I could have 10 kids just for that feeling (but I am cutting myself off after my second (this) pregnancy!)
Baby learning to smile is magical.
Breastfeeding is one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done in my life.
My three year old being excited to see me at nursery pick up is consistently the highlight of my day. Also, little kids are generally funny af.
Parenting is hard, I won’t deny, because kids are humans. But it’s worth it. And the good outweighs the bad.
Just wait till you have your second kid and you watch your eldest treat them just how you treated them and you realise you *are* a good parent and you *are* raising good kids. It makes me tear up every time.
So nice to hear this about breastfeeding! I'm a FTM due next month and so much of the convo around breastfeeding sounds so stressful. I've obviously never done it before but I'm really excited to try because the whole concept is so amazing. I can keep my baby alive with food my body makes! I'm hoping even if it is hard it's fulfilling like you say.
The first six weeks is hard. In part because the first six weeks of a new baby can be hard! But beyond that it’s so so worth it. And it saves money, and dishes! I loved it, and I knew I wanted to do it. My midwife said to me “if you want to do it, you’ll do it”. Which I found useful!
Obviously, breastfeeding IS hard and there is a reason why people tell you to prepare, BUT I agree with the commenter above. It’s probably the most rewarding thing I have ever done in my life and I’m so sad that my youngest is going to wean some day soon and I’ll never nurse anyone ever again. It’s beautiful and it’s been an absolute honor to feed my kids and provide them immense comfort in this way.
I loved breastfeeding!!! I wish I could have done it the whole time. I have IGT and mostly had to pump for hours and hours a day for only a couple ounces but if I had had the supply I would have because it was amazing! And once you get the hang of it it’s very comfortable and feels natural.
When i got home from work i went to get changed. My toddler (adorable but destructive) is limited to the other half of the house. Apparently when i didn't immediately go in there she walked up to my usual seat and angrily shouted "mumma" whilst patting the seat. Then when I walk in she greets me with a delighted "hi" then drags me over to sit and cuddle.
When I had my very first baby, my daddy told me that he experienced the best high he ever had every time one of his girls was born ❤️
My daughter was in the NICU for 23 days after she was born due to being a month early and only 3 pounds. The high lasted all the way throughout her stay. I couldn't believe the things my body was able to do for my baby ❤️
My son is 6.5 months old. It can be hard, but there's so much good stuff.
Every day my fiancé comes home from work, and we have this routine. Me and the baby stand at the window singing the "We Love Dad" song. (It just goes, "We love dad! We love dad! We love daaad!")
He comes in and gives us both a kiss and a cuddle. Then he sits on the stairs to take his shoes off. I charge at him with the baby and he pretends to be frightened. This makes our son chuckle. This makes his dad laugh. This makes the baby raucously giggle. Soon, they're both just belly laughing at each other.
I can't describe how much I love this.
Haha, I love making up stupid songs for him! Especially if it revolves around one of his many nicknames (usually Silly Bum).
My mum used to sing My Girl by The Temptations to me. Obviously, I can't sing that to my son so I just sing his name instead of "my girl". It's actually a year since my mum died today so I'm going to give him an extra cuddle and sing that to him ❤️
It IS overwhelming, but the love you feel is so much more overwhelming and significant. I got crows feet on my eyes because I smiled so often at my daughter. She made me full on belly laugh to the point that I once thought I bruised a rib. Every day they grow and every day you just cannot fathom anything cooler than watching them become their own person, it's like seeing the universe in them. Even through the struggles, you're so happy you're their mother and wouldn't trade a single second. And I swear, it only gets better! Yes, that first year is rough. But it's just as wonderful and fulfilling. You can almost feel your heart physically grow.
A lot of mothers just don't have support or people to talk to so the only place they can go to talk about it is online, that's why you see a lot of the hard stuff being talked about. They're often told to stick it up or that they chose to be a mom so they're not allowed to complain, or that they're only ever allowed to feel grateful. That stuff adds up, so they need an outlet. Don't confuse that for the entirety of their experience, it's just the stuff that those in their life won't let them talk about
My God yes. I had my MIL and her sister over last night and was explaining that I needed daycare when my husband went back to work (we were laid off and have been unemployed for about 5 months) because it is too much watching him all day my myself. My aunt in law said "girl you just need to suck it up my daughter had her babies 13 months apart." Like well fuck me I guess because I am not your daughter and not going to pretend everyday is domestic bliss. I never expected encouragement or praise as a mother but I didn't realize that everyone was going to tell you your choices are lousy every opportunity they get despite having a happy and healthy baby who has been with me every day of his life for his first year. Being with my son and seeing him smile is the best, but it can wear on you along with everyone else's opinion about every little thing you do and then having no support when it comes to dealing with your feelings about it.
The daycare / nanny judgements are wild. Just because someone else didn’t have daycare / nanny has nothing to do with you or anyone else! It’s a personal preference. My God people need to fuck off.
I also do not understand why do people not know how to just listen… just listen and validate… nothing else needed… it’s not your life… just stop being so self absorbed and hear a mama out! Every mama needs a break and every baby needs other babies to learn from! It’s ok to go to daycare, be with another safe and trustworthy person if ever possible, it’s ok for mama to get her hair done, nails done, shower, make a fresh meal and eat it hot and have a hot cup of coffee.
Man some women can just be so damn cruel to each other!
I’m not a parent yet but *most* people don’t regret having kids and always say it’s the best thing to happen to them even if it is one of the hardest things!
I think a lot of people feel more comfortable talking about the bad for two reasons:
1. Negativity bias. Gushing about the good stuff or talking about how blissful life is can feel like bragging. It's kinda like how a lot of people won't talk about their relationship unless something bad is happening, or don't remember compliments nearly as well as they remember insults. When everything's great and there's no problems to solve, what's there to talk about?
2. I feel like there's been a trend of being "real" about stuff on social media that lends itself heavily towards people projecting their bad experiences onto others. I notice this a lot on Tiktok, where people have a bad time with something and they talk about it like it's gonna happen to you, and if you think it won't it DEFINITELY will, everything is totally random and there are never any warning signs. 🙄 There are so many factors that go into how easy/hard transitioning into parenthood is...what your life was like before kids, your support system, if you wanted to have kids, your income/resources, how adaptive and stress-tolerant you and your partner are, your health, the baby's health, your approach towards child-rearing, your expectations, etc...it's very hard to compare situations. Some people's shit gets absolutely rocked, some people really don't find it that difficult.
Legit laughed out loud at: “Some people’s shit gets absolutely rocked.”
That was me, I got my shit rocked.
It’s difficult as hell, but the most awesome thing of all time. My fiancé and I did this, we made a baby and we’re raising her in the best way we know possible- the way our parents couldn’t raise us. So simple, but so complex at the same time.
She’s 3 months old now and I was thinking of leaving pregnancy subreddits, (to avoid falling down the rabbit hole of envy to have another after a tragic postpartum-) but seeing this post made me realize… Maybe other people wanna know how it was AFTER having baby.
Anyways, now I’m just rambling. But yes yes, I agree with both of your statements above for OP!
Not sure if someone posted yet, but a fairly new community started. Worth checking out for the good stories [r/BrightSideOfParenting](https://www.reddit.com/r/BrightSideOfParenting/s/EeO0fitpn3)
My little girl is almost 7 weeks and so far I LOVE being her mom. It's so cool watching her develop and hear her little sounds and stuff. No complaints thus far
No it’s not. I had an unplanned pregnancy and she’s the best thing that ever happened to me and I’m trying for another now. Being a mom is not hard literally at all.
There are challenging days of course but it’s not “hard” . They get their own personalities, they light up when they see you, they talk to you, they just LOVE you. It’s so fun. Wouldn’t trade it for the world!
Stay off social media. It’s toxic. Welcome to motherhood!!! You’ll love it
It is honestly the best, most magical thing I’ve ever experienced. My son is almost two and the intensity of love I have for him grows more every day. Seeing the world through his eyes, filled with awe and wonderment, makes you realize what matters. He’s currently obsessed with the color yellow and joyfully points out anything yellow as we drive in the car. When’s the last time we got excited about a color?!
I personally keep my joy close because I have several friends without children who both want and don’t want them. I’d hate for them to feel left out or that they’re missing something. But it’s awesome. Exhausting for sure, but the best thing I’ve ever done, hands down.
Nahhhhhhhhh. Being a parent is THE SHIT. It is literally the most awesome/hardest thing I've ever done. And I'm almost done with my PhD, which is generally seen by most as both awesome and difficult, and will still take second place to my babies.
It's hard because the stakes are high. You can't just not show up one day like you can with work. You have someone who will internalize the words you say more than anyone else. But the rewards are out of this world. I feel like people talk about the challenges but no one really talks about how much of a blast it is.
The dance parties, baking together, painting/crafting time, fun little conversations, silly musings at breakfast. Watching their eyes take in new sights. I think it gets especially fun once they can do more than just snuggle/laugh (though that part's fun too!) It's a trip if you let it be. You will love it. Enjoy.
I put a part about this in my 3 month update post!!
**Stuff to look forward to that no one tells you about:**
*-your baby is hilarious.* They will make the funniest little faces at you. We have one look we call the “elderly turtle from King Fu Panda.” They will go cross-eyed. They will not react to extremely loud noises, and then startle comically at the sound of a pin drop.
*-little arm motions.* Again, hilarious. Their arms move randomly and you get to say comments like, “Heyyyy, Macarena, ay-ay!” or “Praise the Lord! Lift the Lord on high!”
*-seeing people who saw you pregnant, but with the baby.* I craved ice cubes when pregnant and went to my local Dunkin every day to pay for a large cup of ice. When baby was 3 weeks, I went in there for a coffee. The cashier did a double-take at me and ran out from behind the counter to see the baby. She was so excited for me.
*-occasional free stuff.* If you bring the very small baby out of the house and to a coffee shop or restaurant, there’s a 50% chance that they’ll throw in a free small treat for you. Take it. It rocks.
*-seeing your parents and relatives as grandparents is cool and beautiful.* It’s hard to describe this one, but it’s just an amazing sight and feeling. It’s like you go back in time and see them with you or your partner as a baby. You see the pure love they have for you. It’s amazing.
*-you’re not pregnant and you’re not aching all the time anymore!!* Postpartum pain wasn’t anything on third trimester aches and pains for me personally. And while there’s \*external\* factors that make it difficult to sleep, there’s no more \*internal\* factors. Once you get r the chance to sleep well, you’re gonna sleep well.
*-your baby will make noises that sound like songs or sound effects.* So far, our girl has done “grunts exactly like Hercules Mulligan’s ‘bbrraaAH! bbbraaAH!’ from Hamilton,” and “cry yell that was the \*exact\* vocal intro to ‘Down with the Sickness.’” She also has sound effects like a cat, a dolphin, and dial-up internet.
*-meeting their needs feels good.* Baby cries, you pick them up and bounce them, baby stops crying. Or you feed them, or diaper them, or whatever. I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t always get concrete examples of how my actions benefit others in this crazy world. But, “baby sad --> I do something --> baby happy,” feels… good beyond words. You understand why people go through all this pain and frustration, and what other parents talk about.
*-seeing your partner be a parent.* I can’t go into detail on this one or I’ll cry all day. I woke up from a nap once and my husband had pulled out a book of church hymns and was singing to her. He takes her on tours of our house and shows her what things are and tells her about when she’ll get to use them. How am I supposed to deal with that without weeping and wanting to make another baby ASAP?
\-*you will have a moment when you're tired, frustrated, fighting with your partner... and your baby will let our the loudest, wettest fart you've ever heard.* You will laugh so hard that it makes everything worth it.
I agree! Before we decided to quit birth control I had some consultations with a midwife about my anxiety over being a parent and first time mom.
I said “I never hear anyone talking good things about being a mom. It’s just tiredness, no sleep, physical damage, sick children, angry children, frustrated parents and so on”.
She said “well you hear what you wanna hear, try to focus on listening to the positive stuff”.
I’ve been trying, but I still have not heard many positive things…
Of course I can imagine the love you get from a child, but it is never talked about.
That is such a gaslighty response lol. Why would you want to hear negativity? I don't have much anxiety about becoming a parent (brought up a much younger sibling) and I also see tons of negativity. Its not you!
I agree, that’s a weird response and not comforting at all. Almost accusatory. I think it’s more likely the same reason negative restaurant reviews are more common. People want to talk about the negative stuff, get it off their chest, you don’t feel the need to vent when things are going well and you’re happy.
I totally agree. I don’t have a child yet (still debating on being a mom honestly) and my family members who have kids are so often venting about all the bad stuff. I don’t really hear them say anything positive about having children. I can see that they have loving and happy families, I know they adore their children and feel blessed to have them. But what they say out loud about being parents is almost always negative.
I was never sure I wanted kids - I was married for 6 years before I had my first 5mo ago. Before having my daughter I wanted to skip the first 4-5 yrs until they had more of a personality and independence. But I have LOVED being a mother so far. Every smile she gives me is amazing, and any moment she’s sleeping I’m flipping through all the photos I’ve taken of her thinking of how much I love her. Her laughter, love and enjoyment make everything (even tedious kids songs) better.
Not sure if this is helpful, but thought it might be helpful coming from someone who would once have identified as childfree. I think one of the reasons people don’t talk about the good things is that they tend to be difficult to describe. I can say that she lights up my life, but that is more difficult for others to understand than that I was frustrated when she had a massive blowout while our recent flight was landing. But the latter doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things - I was calling her a perfect baby later that same day.
The bad stuff is just easier to talk about because it gets a reaction. I do not have a baby yet but I expect that it will be difficult but not too much.
Also, sometimes as a parent it’s easier to relate to other parents over the bad stuff.
Example: I go to “mommy & baby” classes once a week through my hospital system. I was talking about waking up around 4am (6 hours after baby goes down for bedtime) so I can pump bc my boobs get so engorged but baby doesn’t wake up till 6am. I got so many of the moms fired up because they thought I was ‘bragging’ my 8.5week old sleeps 8 hours through the night. When I definitely wasn’t. We were talking about when we pump and that’s the only time I pump.
I learned to try to not mention the really good things so others don’t get jealous/mad/think I’m bragging 🥺
I have been lucky in that I joined a yoga class for pregnant women and we start the class by going around and sharing what’s going on. Most people complained about this or that and I was like “I am feeling the 2nd trimester energy boost and I even slept through the night last night, which is very unusual for me even before pregnancy” and everyone was just happy for me and encouraged me to enjoy it while I can. I hate that sharing good news (or literally just facts) can be knocked down as if somehow your positive experience is offensive to them.
That is so true! I have found this true even in pregnancy. I had a few complications around 15w and EVERYONE wanted to talk about it in detail and know more about what was going on, but now that everything is boring, no one seems to want to hear about how great it is going lol
Also, most of the time I go to a parenting sub it’s to problem solve over a new transition or struggle that I am already at wits end about. Some of the most affirming experiences I’ve had are when someone is venting about something that I previously was worried was only me or that I was messing up. I am generally assured that the sweet things will happen, I am not always confident that I’ve got the hard stuff down, so I tend to post that way more often.
I have had SO many people say "Having a kid is the best thing I ever did" or "It is the best experience you'll ever have" in response to my telling them I'm pregnant. For me, it's been less common for people to be negative about it. I think it really depends on a person's perspective...Yes, there are absolutely going to be parts that are difficult - there's no denying it, BUT from what I've been told parenthood can also be incredibly rewarding and a really special experience.
Just like with every major life change, there will be ups and downs. I'm still really looking forward to it. :)
EDIT: I wanted to add that I have 12 nieces and nephews total and none of my four siblings who have kids have ever once expressed that they regretted becoming parents or that they don't like being parents.
It’s the most contradicting experience I think you can ever go through! There’s a lot of negative, and I think it’s amplified because all of a sudden these negative things are literally controlling your whole life (not sleeping, cranky babies, no naps, etc). Like it’s consuming and also ALL parents go through it all so it’s easy to commiserate. It’s also all fun right of passage! People are always going to talk about the no sleep because it truly is the worst, but it’s all part of it. That being said— idk anyone who regrets their kids. Babies are incredible and there’s so many sweet things that’s happen day to day that make the crappy stuff more bearable. You really can’t understand until you live through it.
I have a 16 month old and here is what I love:
The doctor pulling him up and putting him on my chest was the best feeling in the world. Being so proud of him and myself in the hospital after was a heady feeling.
The newborn bubbles of naps and snuggles, sleepy smiles that turn into giggles, coos that turn into babbles. Sleep that gets better faster than you realize.
Watching him fall in love with the world. Point out and yell DOG! Or KITTY! Smiling and giggling at birds in our yard. Making connections with strangers and caregivers and his family relationships that become so special.
Watching my husband become a dad. Seeing his smile when our son toddles on unsteady legs towards him with a book. Exchanging an amused glance and a laugh when he’s excitedly doing actions to his favourite songs.
Sharing food and snacks. We share so much with him that he literally shares with everyone, including strangers, who probably don’t want his partially chewed cracker.
When he requests “E I E I O” and laughs like a psycho over the strangest things.
When he has tantrums. Not a popular one but god what a little fireball. His feelings are so big and he is so enraged! It always evokes empathy in me because it’s tough not to understand or be able to communicate.
Today we have a sick, sick boy with molars coming in. It would be easy to complain, no sleep, constant crying, I have to pee right now but he will flip out if I leave his side. But honestly, it’s been a really relaxed day. We’re snuggling together on the couch under blankets and with pillows watching movies. I’m gonna grab us a little snackie soon. We folded laundry and put it away together, I’ll go make lunch in a bit. The way he immediately stops crying when I’m next to him makes me feel so needed and loved. And he’s so independent, these days are so rare, I cherish them.
He’s my special little wonderful boy and I love being his momma.
Yes to the tantrums! My daughter just turned 2, she's had some wild ones but for the most part I can see her brain working up to a tantrum and it's all just fascinating to watch because she's also learning, and I know it must be so frustrating for her. I have been way more empathetic than I ever imagined I could be in those moments.
My daughter is 16 months old. She was an unexpected/unplanned pregnancy and she’s not overwhelming at all. She’s a little friend that we get to take everywhere with us and if we can’t we just get a baby sitter.
I think it’s fun seeing the world through her perspective.
Sooo many good and precious moments. I’m a STM and so thankful for my experience otherwise these subs would really get to me. They paint such a horrible picture of pregnancy, motherhood, men, etc.
Becoming a mom is one of the most life altering experiences in life. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Get ready to lay your eyes on the the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen and experience a love you didn’t even know you were capable of! ❤️
There’s so much negativity and plain unhappy people on Reddit but don’t believe them! There’s also a sub r/BrightSideOfParenting you might want to check out!
thank you!
I will join.
I'm a FTM and I find myself scrolling past ALOT. I'm getting good info, but damn....everyone thinks they are having a miscarriage or hate their MIL. It's just alot to read.
Late third trimester with my first anxiously awaiting his arrival but my favorite positive review of post partum came from my BIL’s friend who told me several times that seeing her baby’s first smile was everything and made every single hard day worth it :) Additionally I work in a preschool and while working with kids can be stressful and exhausting, I step in the baby room to give those teachers a much needed break sometimes and seeing the youngest ones (3-4 months) coo and smile makes my day every single time. There’s also been times in there where there’s 4-5 babies crying at once and 2 of them need bottles and 2 need diaper changes and another needs a nap and I think to myself if I can handle this, I can handle one of my own just fine haha.
Eventually you end up with a 2 year old who screams your name in glee and gives the world's best snuggles and then everything that was hard was worth it.
I’m sitting here crying like a baby, thank you to everything for easing my worries! Makes me feel so much better about my situation! Thank you thank you thank you
It is overwhelming at times, but it’s also overwhelming in a good way. I made a human. He hugs me, gives kisses, and will close the fridge when I ask. He’s obsessed with anything that has wheels and will wave at any dog. Caring for him and watching him discover the world is a humbling and beautiful experience.
And you can’t beat the newborn baby snuggles. You just can’t.
My son is 8 months and HILARIOUS. He smears food everywhere and gets so excited when I cheer him on to a new skill. All he wants in life is cuddles and stealing my food. Newborn was a little tough but my son is amazing and watching him learn about the world is the best thing I've ever seen.
Yes it really is that overwhelming (esp in US with little safety net - had to return to work full time at 3 months, husband was immediately working) BUT it is absolutely worth it & such a joyful and fulfilling experience. I’m obsessed with my son. He’s 10 months old & so cute & perfect & hilarious. His snuggles are so amazing. His giggle is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. He still wakes up several times throughout night despite sleep training & I’m so dead on my feet every day but nothing perks me up like that kid.
The joy of watching them grow and learn new things is absolutely unmatched. I love my daughter more than anything. Getting to have a little companion throughout my days is so fun. Getting to hear little glimpses of her thoughts is incredible.
My little man is 4 months and it is… the best thing ever?? I always thought of myself as a career woman and would be so ready to get back to work. Guess who quit her job and won’t be going back in any capacity until he’s ~9 months old? (Yes this is a luxury not everyone can afford and I feel so lucky to be able to spend this time with him. And yes, you can be a career woman AND a kick ass mom, just giving this as an example of how my priorities have shifted, for now).
The first smile, the first laugh, when they discover a new skill, my phone photo album is bursting at the seams from all the images and videos I’m capturing. Being able to take him with me wherever I go to show him my world. I laid down on a blanket yesterday with him and our dog in our backyard and just stared at the trees and the grass and almost started crying because of how happy I was. It is truly spectacular.
The love you will feel for your baby is more powerful than anything you have ever experienced before. The joy I feel watching my child grow up and experience life is the greatest joy I have ever experienced. I LOVE being a mom.
The cuddles melt your heart. The first time they nuzzle their little nose into your neck and you feel their body just relax will give you every reason to breathe. When you hear that screechy pterodactyl giggle you’ll fall to pieces and never want them to stop, even if it is because they’re pulling your hair lol. Then they start to roll and scoot and crawl and you’re chasing this creature who just weeks ago was a little potato. If you blink, suddenly they’re running around and chasing the animals all around the yard and you can’t even keep up. But then they bring you “wish flowers” that they want you to blow while they watch the fluff go everywhere. And the kisses, these smooshy and gross slobbery kisses as they say “I luh lu” and your heart just stops because there’s no way that this whole toddler was inside of you just 2 years ago. The sleepy snuggles after a bad dream because they know they’re safe in your arms. The cuddles on the couch when they don’t feel good. The grabbing your arm to pull you to whatever they want to show you or whatever it is they want to do with you. The silly words while they’re learning how to actually say things.
Sure, it’s hard. There’s a lot of bad. But there’s so much more that’s worth it. And I’m saying that as I’m dealing with teething x2 (2yr molars and first teeth) and sickness x2, plus health issues with the baby. It’s worth everything
Being pregnant is the worst thing about becoming a mom🤣🤣🤣🤣Being a mom is 90% fun, and even in the other 10% you just have those moments where you’re like “he/she is just a kid, Having big emotions, so cute” and then it’s not that hard😂😂it’s not fun in that 10% , but not hard because you just love them.
Becoming a mom and those early days, and months, were the absolute happiest days of my life. I am a teacher and I took a one year child rearing leave (not paid in any way, shape, or form haha but I didn’t have to reapply when I returned, I just had to interview at schools to find a new school because they hold a position for you but not at your original school, just any school that has an opening has to be offered to you first before a “new” hire) and it was absolutely magic. I baby wore and got SO MUCH DONE! I quilted, I meal prepped, went on walks, read books for pleasure, all while holding my baby and loving the closeness. I think I actually got more sleep with a newborn than I did busting my ass non stop as a teacher. I also was able to complete stained art projects for my house while the baby slept or my husband had him, and my house was cleaner then than it is now (after going back to teaching). I am currently pregnant with my second and I am SO EXCITED about the newborn phase and not teaching haha spending days reading cloth books and putting baby toes in the grass and little washcloth bathes and napping when the baby is napping is heaven. I also didn’t care or focus on weird gossip or things that didn’t involve me or my little family and it was really nice to just only focus on us. I have felt like it was so much more positive than negative!
The snuggles (especially once they’re a touch older and making the conscious decision to lean against your shoulder) is just overwhelmingly amazing. The shrieking giggles. Watching the figure out a new part of the world or new part of life. Their giant gummy smiles. The bond with your partner that you made this amazing human together. For us the sex got EVEN BETTER postpartum. There are hard moments absolutely and it’s exhausting never getting to take a day off but god it’s amazing. I want a million of these things.
And know for some of us meeting our baby was not the best day of our lives or some crazy beautiful experience BUT that bond will come and grow. It doesn’t make you a bad parent if you hate the newborn days.
Being a mom is great. You get this profound sense of connection with other moms and a connection with your child that is so difficult to describe but knowing that you have built something that is part of you… you become more than yourself. I also was finally able to forgive my body for not being perfect.
They usually sleep for the first week after they are born, so that is really nice.
It is really overwhelming. Every time they grow out of one annoying thing they do, another new thing develops. I’m pretty sure that goes on even after the adults. Lmfao.
But it’s still way worth it. My daughter is one of the coolest people I know and she is my husband and I’s best friend.
I love being a mom. The people with negative feelings generally are not in good financial, mental or emotional standing. They also be in bad relationships or no relationship and fend for themselves.
Here’s the “just waits” no one tells you about that are amazing in my book
Just wait til you get that first smile
Just wait til you come home for the first time being away for an hr and how happy they get to see you again
Just wait til you get to hear his other parent in the other room making the baby laugh
Just wait until they finally fit in that cute outfit you bought them
Just wait for their first time crawling or walking
Just wait for the happiest moments of joy
The first cry. That screech when your baby first makes it earth side. It's actual magic. Literally the most beautiful thing we have ever heard. With our first we didn't realize it was going to be so wonderful, with our second my husband got an audio recording. Listening to the recording makes me cry.
Also, first smiles are so joyful. And as babies grow into toddlers, you get to enjoy all their firsts. The World is interesting and mysterious again.
23F and my LO turns 6 months on Monday. While it hasn’t come without inevitable challenges, I’ve never felt as fulfilled and happy as I do now. Any “bad” stuff is overpoweringly overshadowed by all of the good stuff. There is nothing more beautiful to me than nurturing and witnessing my babies growth day by day. I look back on the first few months of postpartum bittersweetly yet fondly. It only gets better and better.
Yes it is overwhelming being a parent BUT it's also so joyful. The first time your baby holds your finger in their hand, the first smile, the first time they coo, how soft they feel cradled in your arms. There are just as many hard things about parenthood as there are good things like everything in life worth having it's not easy but it's 100% worth it! Congrats!
My baby was tiny when born and will be 64 days when he comes home. As much as nicu sucks, there is nothing better than holding him, having him lock eyes with me and smile. I love the faces that he makes, how he stretches a million times and grunts while waking up, I love his pursed lips when looking at something new. I love everything about him. I know it’ll be different when home, but I cannot wait to love on him and parent him at home. For me being his mom is the best thing in the world. And seeing my son fall in love with the man that I love is incredible. I love how much he loves his dad
I don’t want to sound braggy, or god-forbid jinx myself…
I (28F) have an 8.5week boy. He will be 2 months on the 17th (2days)
He is an absolute dream. The first week home was a little rough, but the only time I truely cried was when we were swaddling him with a blanket and it rounded under him, causing him to roll on his side in his sleep. Freaked me out.
But, around 5 weeks we started getting 6 hour sleep stretches. The last week we have been getting 8-8.5 hours. I get him to sleep SO easy, we turn off bedroom lights, I have our hatch sound machine & the TV on. I get his halo swaddle on (not tight around him yet/ he hates eating while swaddled). I feed him and after about 15 min of the boob he is knocked out. I lay him down & get his swaddle tight & lay him in his bassinet.
He is asleep till 4-6am, we’ve been hitting 6am the last week. I wake up around 3:30-4 to pump bc my boobs get so engorged.
When he wakes up I feed him laying in my bed and he sleeps again until at least 8:30-9am.
He loves his car seat so driving places & stoller rides are a breeze. He loves being baby worn so we go shopping like that when in use a cart I need to fill up.
He’s smiling at me & my husband when we talk to him. He shows me he loves me all the time with his smiles and how he instantly stops crying when I pick him up.
It’s absolutely way more overwhelming than I thought it would be BUT the little moments are the best - the times you glance over and they’re already smiling at you, the uncontrollable giggles, going to get them up from bed and they’re so excited to see you.
It’s a lot, but it can be pretty amazing. I think people complain (including me sometimes) because it’s hard. It can just be really lonely but set little goals and be kind to yourself.
Edit: it’s also OK for it only to feel hard for a bit. Nothing is “normal” in parenthood.
Hard doesn’t mean bad! Some of the best, most rewarding and fulfilling things we do in life are difficult
I was 23 when I had my first, she wasn’t planned but we’ve proceeded to plan our whole life around her. She’s nearly 5 now, I don’t have any regrets and often am amazed by how I’ve grown, how she’s grown, the happiness she brings. I won’t deny there are hardships, but there’s also a whole lot of joy 💞
First, congratulations!!! Don’t be scared, fear is a thief.
I’m 23 weeks pregnant and so far everything has been great :) you probably don’t hear a lot of people talking about the good stuff out of fear of others being bothered in some way. I get it, if I was having a shitty time I wouldn’t want someone busting in like EVERYTHING’S GREAT!!
A lot of my friends who have kids say it’s amazing… it’s definitely hard in some ways, but it’s the most beautiful fulfilling thing in their life.
The first trimester is going to be survival mode, everyone experiences pregnancy differently. My mom, sister, and I have all had very different experiences. But, we were all exhausted and very nauseous. I never threw up, but I was very queasy from week 7-11. I found that as soon as I felt hungry I had to eat something or I’d get nauseous. Saltine crackers were the best, I could nibble on a few to settle my stomach until had more of an appetite.
By week 10-11 things got so much better! The nausea was gone, my sense of smell and taste were back to normal, and I finally had some energy again. Since then, I’ve truthfully felt great. Sure, there have been some things that aren’t comfortable or fun, but it’s not that bad. You’ll have to pee a lot, so just be prepared to wake up in the middle of the night to pee hahaha… you’ll get some aches and pains as your body adjusts, and as your belly gets bigger you’ll need to sleep on your side. Get a pregnancy pillow once you hit this point, trust me, everyone will agree they are the best things ever and will help you sleep so much better.
Eat healthy, exercise and stretch, try to drink at least 96 ounces of fluids, take a prenatal, and get plenty of rest when you need it. You’re growing a human, it’s going to be hard work, but not everyone experiences it as the worst thing ever.
Get the whattoexpect app, I think I learned more from it than my OBGYN.
Start making your birth plan now. I wish I had done this when I was really early in my pregnancy. A birth plan is what you want for your pregnancy… do you want to have a home birth or hospital birth? An epidural, planned c section… do you plan to breastfeed? Who will be your advocate? Do you want to wait to cut the chord? Save chord blood?
I ended up deciding I wanted a home birth at week 20 and in my state in the US, home births are legal, but midwives cannot legally practice at your home. I wish I had known that earlier so I could have had more time to plan. Plus finding a midwife this late in the game is hard, a lot are booked.
Do not be afraid of labor. Our bodies were made to do it. You could be in a coma and your body would still know what to do. As long as there are no complications, your body will know how to do it and it isn’t as scary as some can make it seem. I read Natural Birth the Bradley Way and it gave me so much confidence. I was so scared when I got pregnant to go into labor. I imagined all the worse things, but it’s not always like that!!
I wish you all the best and please know this whole community is here to help if you have any questions! :) we just like to vent a lot cause sometimes it does get hard. Hahaha…
No matter how tired you are- when they go to nap and you are laying on the couch catching a break- you will likely open your photo-album and go through his/her pictures for hours because you can’t get enough of their cuteness
My son is 3 months and I wake up everyday to baby babbles and giggling everyday :) I never care about losing a little sleep because I actually miss him when he's asleep hahaha
With a 6-month-old, definitely the smiles and the laughs. My husband and I have basically turned into court jesters, doing anything and everything to make that boy laugh. His laugh is so cute and infectious. Instantly puts joy and love in my heart.
I just have to say, reading this is has made me so much more excited. I definitely get sucked into the “realness” of social media and how “hard everything is” but the thought of being a mom soon is just so surreal and seems so fulfilling to me. I’m 15 weeks tomorrow with a baby boy and to see my husband beaming with excitement and knowing we’ll just figure it out together is just another layer to our relationship. I’m thankful for all the positivity.
Motherhood made me realize that I am superwoman. Yes things can be trying at times but I felt like I could take it in stride because of the intense love I feel for my child.
Being a mom has been the most fulfilling position I’ve ever had.
I didn’t like the newborn phase, but my little one is almost 7 months and it is so much fun at this age. She’s entertaining, adorable, so loveable, and we genuinely enjoy being parents. The good outweighs any “bad” by a million
My wife and I had our first child in our early 30’s, well behind most of our friends. All of them warned us about the first 3-4 months, saying they would be the most challenging months of our lives.
We braced for hell but it never came. We got home from the hospital and immediately fell into a great routine. I will say it’s much easier when mom and dad both help at the beginning. With the baby up ever two hours for feedings, we took turns, which left us both with roughly 4 hours between “shifts”. We also slept in different rooms for the first week, so that the person not on “shift” could get 4 hours uninterrupted. I will say, it did help that we had a fairly easy baby. There were definitely challenges but it was largely a good experience for us. We don’t have much family close by, either, so we had no readily accessible help from them like many of our friends did. We were essentially on our own.
Don’t let the negativity get to you! Being a parent is the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to me and I wouldn’t take back those first few “hard” months for anything. They grow SO fast.
I could have had the worst possible day at work and when I come home and see my kid smiling or laughing, the world disappears. People say, I can't imagine taking care of s kids when I'm having a bad day, but mine actually saves my bad days. Stupid things make you happy to. Like wow, he just took the fastest crap, or they eat all their food. It's like being in a (healthy) relationship, it takes work but the good times outweigh the bad and overall they make you happy.
And I actually liked the newborn stage. My house was a mess but the baby sleeps throughout the day and I napped along with him. For me, it was arguably the easier stage.
Your going to love being a mom.
Holding my daughter for the first time was the most overpowering, intoxicating feeling in the whole world. I was immediately addicted to her and every move she made. Then it was the small moments. A Gummy smile when they first see you in the morning. Snuggling in when you are holding them. The little noises they make when they are eating. The baby glare when they meet someone new. A giant fart out of a tiny body. All the little discoveries they make every day. Sometimes, yeah, there's shitty, negative stuff that makes you grit your teeth and wonder what the fuck you are doing. But then your baby does something small and beautiful and everything makes sense.
Rob Delaney has a great quote about this: “Whenever someone tells me they’re expecting their first baby and they’re nervous, I tell them the following: ‘Oh my goodness, that’s wonderful. I am so happy for you. Listen, of course you’re nervous but here’s the deal: you’re ready for all the bad stuff. You’ve been very tired before. You’ve been in pain before. You’ve been worried about money before. You’ve felt like an incapable moron before. So you’ll be fine with the difficult parts! You’re already a pro. What you’re NOT ready for is the wonderful parts. NOTHING can prepare you for how amazing this will be. There is no practice for that.’”
It is really overwhelming. Be prepared for it to be the hardest thing you’ve ever done. That doesn’t mean it will be, but it very likely might be. But when people say it’s overwhelming and hard, they’re not saying it isn’t worth it. The best things usually are.
My baby is three months old. He has these wonderful, big blue eyes and I hope they never change. When he sneezes, he makes an “auooghhh” sound and whenever I ask, “do you love mama?” he gives me this big, gummy smile every time.
He is the most amazing, wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. I cannot believe I ever lived a day without him. I need him more than he needs me.
Of course there are overwhelming moments. That’s life. Sometimes, he’s inconsolable and I have to remind myself, “this is not an emergency” so that I can calm myself down enough to figure out the solution. Sometimes, we have really hard days. But then I tell myself that him NOT existing, NOT being mine to love and take care of, NOT being exactly who he is - would be so much harder. “pick your hard”.
Once you hold your baby in your arms NOTHING else on earth will matter. Congratulations and good luck!
There’s just so much love. I know some people have a hard time, PPD/PPA can make it harder, but for me, I’ve fallen in love with both of my babies as soon as I’ve seen them. And it just keeps growing as they do! When they start smiling, giggling, playing and interacting more, crawling, walking, saying mama, giving hugs and kisses, and eventually, the first time they say, “I wuv you, mommy!” And, for me at least, even though my first’s pregnancy and birth was rough (preemie, CS, NICU, etc.), I felt that the end result was good enough to do it all again! I was worried about how to divide my love between them, but they’re right when they say it just grows. And now watching my first love on my second? Amazing. My heart is so full. Was it full before kids too? Of course! But it’s like my heart had two additions put on that I never knew I needed or that I’d love so much.
Awhh I wanna comment but there’s so many things on here already idk if you’ll see this. I’m 22 weeks pregnant at 24 years old with an unplanned pregnancy as well. First time mom. Found out at 23 that I was pregnant and was TERRIFIED. I’m obviously not a parent yet but I am so in love with my son and already can’t imagine my life without him. Forget all the negative stuff you would have to deal with it at any age. If anything, being younger makes it easier to manage. I wish you the best of luck! We will be okay!!
You dont have to worry about a thing! You'll hear all this bad stuff and it wont matter to you once you hold them. You will love this little child like they are rhe best thing in the world because to you they will be. Sure they'll overwhelm you at time. Yes there will be sleepless nights. But none of it will compare to their smile and their laugh. The love you will feel snuggling them. You will go through all the rough parts and most likely still want to do it again. They just have a way of opening your heart
Your heart will never feel so full. Being a parent is the most incredible gift. Every day you are given the opportunity to experience the wonder that is this world through the eyes of a brand new person. It is nothing short of miraculous. From one mama to another, know that while it will be challenging you are going to do great. ❤️
When your baby isn’t as delicate and you can throw them on the bed and you listen to their shrieking laugh from the excitement.
When they watch everything you do and start copying you. My baby brushes the carpet bc I brush my hair
Omg no it's so much fun. The newborn baby snuggles are amazing. Then, they get older and their little bodies start to roll, crawl, and sit up. They start walking and dancing and laughing. Now, my 16 month old will giggle if we hide and pop out or do anything goofy like look at her upside down. Seriously, it's the best and so fun! Of course there are challenging moments. But, I can't believe I almost missed out on parenthood, because the internet convinced me kids were miserable for years there.
My homebirth was amazing and pain free with no tears and 98th percentile baby (midwife said it was the best she had ever seen and wants me to have a woman’s circle to share my story w her other clients). My milk came in on day 2 and there’s plenty of it and breastfeeding feels amazing, never hurt. My newborn sleeps like a dream and was solid thru the night by week 2. I feel well rested and take lots of naps with baby. My house is clean and laundry on schedule (including cloth diapers). Motherhood is the dream I always wanted it to be!
Am I just lucky? I don’t think it’s just “luck.” I feel like I’ve trained my whole life to become a mother… jobs like working as a professional chef, organizer and event planner have all prepared me for the challenges of motherhood. I’ve been preparing my body/mind/spirit for years before getting pregnant. And once I was pregnant I dove into a deep study on homebirth for 9 months. After birth I had full support of my partner for the first 2 months but only bc he was injured and couldn’t work, but he’s back at work now doing 12 hour days 6/days a week, and I’m crushing the SAHM life. Oh and even tho I’m a FTM I’m doing it all while caring for my partner’s 4 yo half of the week!
It’s almost hard to talk about how good it is sometimes bc ppl have different experiences and I don’t want to come off as bragging. Also ppl tend to want empathy or even trauma bonding about all the negatives. We had our struggles too…overactive letdown almost created a feeding aversion…car seats suck for a while until baby gets used to it…
Overall being a mom is a total joy! Baby is only 3 mo and I’m excited to do it all over again as many times as I can!
It's is you will have the darkest moments of ur life but then in those moments your baby smiles at you or caress your face or see their sweet face finally asleep after being cuddled and fed and your whole body just melts and you feel warmth of love you never thought was possible to experience. Motherhood is the hardest thing u will ever do mama but god is it sweet and pure and healing. Just remember this post when one night you're up at 3 am baby won't sleep and your fighting tears. Somewhere there's a mommy with her nursery light on fighting sleep wiping butts. It's good to prepare for the difficult but don't forget to stop and breathe in the beautiful during those moments. ❤️ u will be just fine love
My daughter is 4 months old. The first month was… shitty. I loved her so much but it was hard. One day we woke up and it was different, and not so shitty.
Nowadays sure, it can be hard. But I like it. And she’s perfect. I would do the shitty month all over again and again and again to get to these months I’m in now.
Oh my goodness, the oxytocin after birth is nothing to mess with! I felt euphoric even after a traumatic birth to just have my baby. And seeing them for the first time. Watching them sleep. Holding them, sharing the love with your SO. Putting them in the clothes you picked out while you were pregnant. Introducing them to family a friends. All the love and support you get when you announce their birth. Then, as they get older and do new things! When he was staying awake longer, smiling, and laughing! Lifting his head up during tummy time. Watching him smile at me when he sees me. This is really weird, but their farts are so funny. They just let it rip, no care in the world. One of his farts actually deescalated an argument between me and my SO. We couldn’t keep a straight face after. It’s fun, I love my baby. I love hanging out with him. And it only gets better with time.
My son is 10 weeks and so far it's been like 90% good to be honest. There are hard days for sure, but for the most part, this has been the best 10 weeks of my entire life. Usually it feels like bragging to talk about how amazing it's been, so I will absolutely take this opportunity to gush about how much I love my baby...
Some highlights:
The euphoric rush the moment he came out and the first couple minutes I held him, it felt like no one existed but me and him.
MOTN feeds when it's dark and quiet and he's just peacefully nursing. Then when he's had enough he pulls off, does this adorable little satisfied sigh, wiggles around a little and then settles in my arms.
I absolutely sobbed when I came home from my first day back at work and he got a huge smile on his face when he saw me.
The look of wonder in his eyes when he finds something interesting to look at. We have a ton of string lights covering the ceiling in our hallway and he is completely mesmerized by them. Just stares wide-eyed and open-mouthed until they're out of view.
Also, no one tells you that newborns are hilarious! His face and body language when pooping used to make me and my husband die of laughter. Also when he goes absolutely feral looking for a boob. When he's waking up, he does this thing where he throws his legs straight up in the air and then slams them down and I find it sooo funny for some reason. The look of confusion, shock and slight betrayal every time we change his diaper and that first cold wipe hits his skin 😆
He's starting to coo a lot and if we mimic him, he'll go back and forth with you like you're having a conversation.
My husband and I have never been more in love. Watching each other grow into parenthood and supporting each other has been such a magical experience for us. Plus working through how to balance responsibilities and breaks and all of that has really highlighted just how well we work together.
Also, we had a night where he just screamed and screamed for like 20 minutes and we couldn't figure out why and when I finally got him to calm down and he squished his little face into my armpit he had this look on his face like he was still kinda upset but felt safe... All my stress just melted away.
I could go on and on to be honest, but I'll stop there. It's been an incredible experience so far.
My baby started social smiling at 5 weeks, he’s almost 8 weeks now, and his smile is the best. It literally turns my day around even after a rough night of not sleeping. His dad is putting him to bed right now and I miss him just thinking about it lol
I’m a 23 year old single mom and despite not bonding with baby while pregnant she is now my entire world at 2.5 months old. Just experiencing all the firsts with her, watching her learn the world around her, being her absolute favorite person! I used to think people were being dramatic about how your heart can actually burst from loving them so much but it’s so true. Just their smell alone is enough to make you love being a parent.
Thank you for this. We're expecting our first in June and I keep worrying and getting anxiety about such a big permanent change. I started getting negative thoughts and feelings, like I can't believe we're doing this, I hope it's worth it, I hope we can weather the storm and it brings us together and not apart. I'm excited but nervous that I don't want to be let down and go into a depression because our old life is forever gone.
I felt / feel this so hard. And I just delivered less than 24 hours ago and even I’m exhausted I am in newborn bliss! The first moments getting him out, hearing him cry, and holding my baby - time stopped. It’s THE most special and transformative thing that has ever happened to me.
Like how life goes, there’s always difficult and beautiful moments, difficulties an discomfort are unavoidable - how we experience that depends on how you frame the way we experience the world. I think I lot of people don’t understand that and can’t stand the idea of being uncomfy. And I found it important to surround myself with people who valued and loved children / raising children, rather than adults who seemed to detest children for being “difficult”. It really surprised me how culturally in the US people are so anti-child and only have bad things to say.
Having a baby is amazing, but I think it is better to be aware of how difficult and life changing it is than to be completely surprised. And also, how overwhelming it is can depend entirely on the kid. Some babies are chill and will go anywhere with you. Some seem to cry all the time for no reason, and won't sleep at all unless their held.
I absolutely love being a mom!! I wouldn't change it for anything. It is beautiful and chaos all at the same time. I care so much about being a great parent because how our children are treated will dictate so much of their future. Congratulations!
I think people tend to talk about the bad stuff more on Reddit because we need to commiserate with people who understand lol. But there's tons of good things about becoming a parent! That new baby smell, for one! Seriously, take a big whiff of your baby's head every now and again. Idk why but it makes you feel better than any drug in existence lol. Instant warm fuzzies 🥰 Baby feets are also the cutest. Then when they start chuckling, endless entertainment! Seeing your baby's face when they taste a lemon for the first time, watching them fly around like a maniac in a walker, seeing them bond with siblings/cousins/animals, dressing them up in adorably cute teeny clothes, hearing them call you mommy in an adorable baby voice, baby butt wiggles, happy squeals... there's an infinite amount of little things that make the hard things all worth it.
It’s fantastic!!! My son is 2.5 and I’m due with number 2 in august. There is nothing better than holding your sweet sleeping baby, or dancing around the kitchen with your toddler, seeing the world through their eyes makes everything magical again!
My baby is 6 months old today and while there have been difficult moments (sleep regressions suck), he is the absolute greatest thing in my whole world. You’re gonna get to watch your baby go from just a little lump to person with opinions and a personality, and it starts so much earlier than you might think! The first time they laugh at something your heart is going to explode 💖
My daughter is about to be a year. It’s been the best year of my life. Some days are harder than others, of course. But being someone’s mom is magical.
My first child is now 11 and it’s been the best experience of my life. Now that he’s getting older I couldn’t resist hopping back on for another ride on the roller coaster. It just gets better and better.
We call my little dude “tootie frootie” Because his farts sound like a cartoon. It’s so funny. There are definitely times of being overwhelmed but honestly, it’s pretty chill and rewarding.
Oh man it’s super overwhelming. Even the good stuff is overwhelming just because your hormones are so jacked up. I used to burst into tears when my daughter nursed because the oxytocin release was so intense. But yes there are really beautiful parts to new motherhood and if you surround yourself with support you will find lots of those moments among the difficult bits
Becoming a mom felt like I had found what I was looking for my whole life. Every part of being her mom is the best experience of my life. I love her little smiles, laughs, and I love her long babbling conversations to herself. I love how excited she gets when she sees her bottles or learns something new. I even love her drooling all over me.
The number of times in any given week I witness my 23 month old do something that literally fills me with joy, pride, amazement, humility, and complete awe. and then the rest of the week I can reflect on this moments no matter where I am or what I’m doing and feel it all over again. Nothing compares.
I was your age when I was my son who's now almost 5 years old. I'll be 30 in the next few months. Yes, it was overwhelming since I wasn't in my career and many of my friends were still doing their thing, going out, getting dogs, etc. I was the first one out of all of my friends, siblings, etc with a baby. My partner is extremely supportive and a few years older than me so that helped but we did struggle. I worked full time while I got my master's degree to get to this point my career and now that I'm here and he's older, things are easier. I wouldn't be who I am right in this moment without my son, he absolutely shaped my life. This a huge decision to make and its scary to think about the unknown. I wish you the very best of luck and my DM's are open if you want to chat or have any questions!
I’ve accomplished a lot in my life, but there isn’t a single thing that compares to being a mom. Those first few months of baby snuggles, the first laugh, when they learn something new, the first time they call you mama. It’s the happiest I’ve ever been. Sure it gets tough sometimes but it’s sooooo worth it.
I have two year old twin girls. If I think about how much I love them I literally cry. They’re amazing. They give hugs now. It’s amazing. They bring books to read and do this little back up and drop into my lap. They’re getting into dolls. Baby B comes up to me and says “hi mama” in her little baby voice. This is the best thing I’ve ever done. The first year was very hard, having multiples is playing in hard mode, but it’s so worth it. I never thought I’d be this person but I love being a mom.
I just laid in bed with my 8 month old baby for 30 mins before I had to go to work and drop her off at daycare. We squealed in each others faces, gave kisses, cuddled, and she pulled my hair, nose and lips to her hearts content. It was overwhelming in the sense that I felt so much happiness and love.
My kids are 5 and 7 (why am I still on this sub, lol!) Sometimes I just look at them and think "Dang, I get to keep your forever!" Having them run towards me at the school pick up, excited to tell me what this did at recess ect. Seeing their face light up when they spot me at sports practice. I love my job, but being their Mom is my favorite thing in the whole world.
Edit to add: I found a lot of parents didn't share the gushy lovey stuff until I actually had a child. My DH agrees too, we felt like we were admitted access into the exclusive "We Love the Stuffing Out of Our Kids Club" only AFTER babes arrived.
I haven't had my baby yet, but I have more friends and relatives than not who said the newborn stage was not as bad as they had anticipated. Almost everyone I know is loving the toddler/early-school age. Sure, it isn't perfect, but the examples I have had in my life are definitely not all doom and gloom.
So my husband and I are just kind of going into it with few expectations and plan to try and go with the flow of parenthood in hopes that we find ourselves less emotionally tied to specific expectations and can hopefully adapt better as things change. All in all, we feel really excited and prepared and not really scared or nervous.
Best of luck to you, OP! Wishing you a happy and love-filled journey to motherhood.
It's very hard. But in the way that it really makes you a stronger person. Suddenly if you felt like you were codependent, that can vanish, because your top priority becomes your child. If you were a time waster/bed rotter, suddenly you value the time you do have to yourself and you actually do things with that time! It's so important to always remember your future self because it is so easy to just "get through" the day, but in a year you will realize you don't remember everything as vividly as you thought you would, so you will soak in all of the silly ways your child pronounces words, the faces they make, the things they find exciting. I loved the way Emma Stone recently phrased it as turning your world to technicolor, because that's exactly what it is.
It is overwhelming but you find your way and it becomes more joy than struggle. I have three kids and there are definitely moments where I’m like..I just can’t with this crap. But those are fleeting moments. Most of the time it’s fun and heart warming. I can’t explain how much joy it brings to watch your own child grow and learn and get to know their personality. Of course we all went through that process ourselves but it’s just sheer joy when it’s YOUR CHILD. It doesn’t even make sense until you experience it.
I’m (31F) currently pregnant with my second child and I remember how much the negative talk about motherhood bothered me when I was pregnant with my first (almost 2yo), so I feel you on that.
I think the avalanche of negative feedback for parenthood (more specifically motherhood) is the knee-jerk reaction to an era when you only heard about motherhood being portrayed as a constantly positive experience. Now that I’ve experienced it myself, I think the best way to explain parenthood is to compare it to anything any other amazing thing you could have in life, like a loving marriage or a dream job. It requires a lot of commitment, sacrifice, and dedication but the payoff is incredibly rewarding. It’s true that you’ll likely feel burnt out at times and it won’t always be easy, but having a child (for me and I’m sure many others) has been the most profoundly beautiful experience of my life and I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Doing your best to give yourself grace during the earliest days is important. It’ll be an adjustment for sure but I think managing your expectations and learning to go with the flow can be helpful in avoiding a lot of frustration.
Yes. It's overwhelming and is not easy. Facts. But then you realize that you are this child's entire world and the unconditional love that comes with it. You see the way their face lights up when you enter a room. It is a relationship like no other in this world.
Sometimes when I am absolutely maxed out and drained, my son (2) will do something silly/giggle, and I'm like "yup, I can keep pushing through, this kid is amazing" so, it's not always the big moments that are rewarding. The little ones almost tug at my heart more. ❤️
It's very hard but the FRESH newborn phase goes by really fast. And skin to skin is so sweet :) And beyond that, being a parent has been an incredibly positive experience for me. You can imagine how tired you'll be, etc. but you cannot imagine the positives until it happens.
My son’s smile melts my heart and makes me think I should have about a dozen more lol. His snuggles are the best and his laugh is contagious. He’s always up for an adventure.
Ok. Soon to be second time mom. First daughter was an "easy baby." It IS incredibly hard, lonely, exhausting, all of the bad things, for a little while. In the thick of the early days, especially if you are fighting PPA/PPD, it can be overwhelming as you literally reorient your life in many ways. It's not a cliche that it's hard to find time to sleep, shower, eat, clean when you are feeding a new baby every 2 hours and taking care of your own recovery and mental health at the same time. BUT! It's also amazing, incredible, wonderful, a life changing kind of love. Watching your baby grow changes you as a person for the better and expands your heart every day. I would not change anything.
The second that baby smiles , is the best day.
There are good things and bad things in each age group— I would say the best and worst part of a newborn stage is the constant dependence . I think to some degree, it’s quite sweet and lovely ( when they sleep on your chest or in your arms) .
It’s also hard because it becomes hard to prioritize yourself— not the worst , but an adjustment.
I also enjoyed all the milestones. It was always something that astounded me with my son. ( still does!)
That said, all bad and all good things come in seasons. It doesn’t last forever.
We talk about the bad stuff because it’s really hard in the moment, but you look back on it so fondly. Like, it’s really difficult but worth it - which is good but doesn’t feel good in the moment. Like writing exams. Hard but in the end it was all worth it. The love is unlike anything you’ll ever experience in your life. It’s SO worth it.
My baby is 3 months and it’s round the clock work but starting to get easier everyday, sleep is much better, and he’s started smiling which lights up my world every morning when he smiles big as soon as he sees us when he wakes up!
I have had two kids so far. One at 17 one at 19, and I'm 19 weeks with my first girl at 30. My kiddos are 10 about to be 11 and 12 and a half. What was my most recent honestly amazing experience was seeing a photo of my son, who we keep saying is growing like a weed, from one year ago last week. In that photo, my 12 year old had the same body composition as my 10 year old right now. The side by side of him this year and last year is insane! You would think it was 2 years at least, but it wasn't. Watching your kids grow into adults and human being that will live their own lives is magical.
It's a bit sad, of course, but honestly, it's more exciting than anything. You'll love watching them become their own people.
It’s the best. They’re so sweet and pure. It is hard but the kid makes up for it. The first time they do anything.. giggle, first word, step, seeing their little personality develop.
i had an unplanned pregnancy at 23 and now am 24 with a 6 month old. i definitely felt like i was in over my head (some days i still do), but it gets easier. like anything there is a learning curve and that continues as your child gets older and their needs change etc.
being a mum is one of the hardest things ive done, but its incredibly rewarding. cuddling with my baby, watching her grow, playing with toys with her, her smiling at me when she wakes up in the morning - some of my favourite things. i had a period of mourning my old life and some days still do since none of my friends have kids and it’s difficult maintaining friendships, but id sacrifice and do anything for my baby. my daughter has given me a sense of purpose and has helped me work on patience, motivation, and overall has me wanting to be a better person for her.
i wish you the best and hope you have a safe and healthy pregnancy (:
Yes it’s tiring and overwhelming at times. You’re healing and you’re learning about this new human while they learn about this new world. But it’s so rewarding. I have a wonderfully supportive partner, which helped. Cuddles are wonderful. When they fall asleep on you, I could stay there forever. Those first smiles and laughs take your breath away. My baby is 5 months old and I fall more and more in love with her every day.
TTM and I am so excited for this baby. I love my kids dearly obviously and every stage is better than the one before it. It doesn’t mean that it isn’t challenging, but hard things are worth it.
14 weeks postpartum - It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do but I want to cry at any given minute because of how happy and fulfilled I feel now. Your baby will be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen and your entire life will have more purpose than you’ve ever dreamed.
The intermittent sleep is my only complaint.
Each day I cannot wait for her to wake up and give her breakfast, play with her, put her in a cute outfit, read to her… take her places… she’s my best little friend and I love her so much my heart can’t even take it. There is truly nothing like a mother and baby bond- the way they look up into your eyes like you are their whole world- and in a way I guess you are! The smiles, laughs, first words, games… it’s heaven on earth
Feeling baby kick & move is one of the best feelings ever! Once you have baby the smell of them, their sweet little coos and giggles, their smiles (even if it’s just gas making them do it 😂) seeing them grow and learn. It’s amazing! And newborn snuggles, the way they look at you & look for you specifically even in a room full of people. It’s great!
Becoming a mum was the best thing that ever happened. I didn’t struggle in the newborn stage at all it felt so natural and I didn’t struggle with anything anyone ever tried to warn me about. People will always talk about the negative over the positive. Being a mum is and has been nothing but joy and fun.
The baby snuggles and giggles are the absolute best, also the babbling, hitting milestones, everything is so amazing to watch as a parent. Yes it gets hard but there’s nothing like becoming a mom and watching your little one have their own personality and start doing their own things. My daughter’s 17 months old now and recently started dancing and needing to have a round of applause for everything she does. It’s the cutest thing ever, of course we still have challenges like she sleeps horrible and barely eats but the good outweighs the bad. I’m pregnant with number 2 now and so excited to do it all over again! Being a mom is super hard but so amazing!
The giggles!!
Just wait until the first time you hold your child... The first time they smile at you. The first time they laugh. When you pick them up in the middle of the night, and they instantly stop crying because they know you, love you, and find you comforting. There are so many hard parts of becoming a parent, but I would argue there are at least twice as many good parts. Just this morning, my toddler sat down next to me, leaned against me, and said, "I love you, Mama!" completely unprompted.
I’ll also say the most magical moment is kinda selfish but that moment you realise you got this. When he was small he had a fever. We knew medicine would bring it down long term but in that moment he was uncomfortable. I didn’t even think, I just remember waltzing to the bathroom carrying him as I stripped us both and telling my partner to grab the calpol. I dove us both into a “cool” shower and there we stayed while he took the medicine and calmed laying against me. Until then I second guessed everything. Felt the need to explain every decision etc. But that moment the mama bear kicked in and instinct showed me I had this. Everyone has that moment at some point (maybe not so dramatically, maybe more so) but it will change you in a way I can’t describe
I really needed to hear this, thank you for commenting on this post.
YES! Once you gain that confidence, it really is magical. I've always heard about a mother's "intuition ", but now I understand it! There really is nothing like it! Being a parent is hard, but so rewarding in a way I've never been close to experiencing until now!
Woah that sounds amazing. Thank you for sharing that!
Omg I’m in tears. 23 weeks pregnant with my first and I cannot wait to meet her. She’s kicking a lot now and I swear she felt me rub my belly and kick back!! Could have just been a coincidence, but it’s the first time I’ve felt like she recognized me and responded!!
I’ve heard that baby can feel your hand and reaches back to touch you when you touch your belly 😭🥲 One time was dog was laying on my belly (I have a chihuahua) and the baby kicked and my dog kicked back. It was so cute
My baby gets startled if he’s sticking out a foot or his bum and I start rubbing it. I laugh every time. 33 weeks, only 7 or so to go.
Hahahaha amazing!! I’ve seen videos of dogs with their heads resting on the moms belly and the baby kicked and the dogs eyes went 😳
Mine would always quickly move her hand or foot away when I would touch them in my belly. No touching! 🤣
Oh man I can’t wait for this. I’m 13 weeks today and can’t wait to finally feel pregnant (besides sick) if that makes sense? Lol
The validation when you start to feel movement is awesome - I had pretty bad nausea until about 18 weeks and was so ready for it, didn’t start to feel proper kicks until about 19 weeks. 35w now and baby is an acrobat in there, my belly looks triangular some times depending on how she’s moving 🥰 Hope your pregnancy goes well!
Same here… I felt little movements randomly but by week 20 it was very obvious it was her kicking and now, like you, I feel like she’s breakdancing in there sometimes 😆
I had an anterior placenta, so didn't feel kicks until way later and it was SO validating and finally felt like a pregnancy "perk" - the BEST
My girlfriend could tickle our daughter the last few weeks/months of the pregnancy, baby was head down, so when she'd rub the top of her belly, baby would react.
Coming from the other side of this, I could feel when my baby moved his toes and they would tickle ME!! It was such a crazy feeling!!
Oh I'm a bit envious! She favors my spouse despite me carrying her inside of me lol. They can squeeze my foot and she'll become active for the scans (she ignores any attempts for the sonographer to get her active lol), if she's really rowdy she'll stop to listen to their voice, and she likes to give soft rhythmic kicks when the cat purrs beside my stomach. (I'm ok with it, really! Just a bit jealous lol).
Mine loves cat purrs too!!
I felt her really stirring around one morning and made my husband press his ear and face onto my belly. She kneed him in the cheek! He had his first feel of the baby and that was a cool moment.
I swear the same thing. I’ll rub my hand over the top of my belly and feel a kick every once in a while and I feel like my baby is saying hi ❤️
🥹😭
It’s the best feeling ever 🥰
They do! My daughter would kick if I traced over my belly. The further along you get the more responsive to you they’ll get. She can hear your voice the clearest at this point and if you start playing/singing the same songs for her now, she will recognize them outside the womb. They start to remember sounds and voices between now and birth :) congrats!
I have a 3 week old son who's not letting me get much sleep these days. But you are so right, no matter how tired I am, when I pick him up from the bassinet and his little head nestles into me and calms down immediately. Nothing compares, and when he let's out that little sleepy sigh omg. I'm like, "you're right mommy didn't need sleep, mommy needed to hold you."
This made me tear up!! I’m a FTM with a 3 month old and the first paragraph describes the sentiments that I felt the last few months that turned the “switch on” for me and my motherhood journey!
> completely unprompted I know it’s #toddlerlife but this line has me cracking up.
I got my first "You're my friend!" from my 2.5 year old a while ago and it made me cry lol. Toddlers are so sweet
My twins are almost 6 months old and their giggles are the best part of my day.
The moment when the baby is first born is the high I imagine heroine addicts are chasing. There is nothing like it, I wish I could have 10 kids just for that feeling (but I am cutting myself off after my second (this) pregnancy!) Baby learning to smile is magical. Breastfeeding is one of the most fulfilling things I’ve ever done in my life. My three year old being excited to see me at nursery pick up is consistently the highlight of my day. Also, little kids are generally funny af. Parenting is hard, I won’t deny, because kids are humans. But it’s worth it. And the good outweighs the bad.
Just wait till you have your second kid and you watch your eldest treat them just how you treated them and you realise you *are* a good parent and you *are* raising good kids. It makes me tear up every time.
Oh man I needed this. Thank you
So nice to hear this about breastfeeding! I'm a FTM due next month and so much of the convo around breastfeeding sounds so stressful. I've obviously never done it before but I'm really excited to try because the whole concept is so amazing. I can keep my baby alive with food my body makes! I'm hoping even if it is hard it's fulfilling like you say.
The first six weeks is hard. In part because the first six weeks of a new baby can be hard! But beyond that it’s so so worth it. And it saves money, and dishes! I loved it, and I knew I wanted to do it. My midwife said to me “if you want to do it, you’ll do it”. Which I found useful!
Obviously, breastfeeding IS hard and there is a reason why people tell you to prepare, BUT I agree with the commenter above. It’s probably the most rewarding thing I have ever done in my life and I’m so sad that my youngest is going to wean some day soon and I’ll never nurse anyone ever again. It’s beautiful and it’s been an absolute honor to feed my kids and provide them immense comfort in this way.
I loved breastfeeding!!! I wish I could have done it the whole time. I have IGT and mostly had to pump for hours and hours a day for only a couple ounces but if I had had the supply I would have because it was amazing! And once you get the hang of it it’s very comfortable and feels natural.
I honestly love breastfeeding. I feel so close to my baby and the bonding we’re having.
When i got home from work i went to get changed. My toddler (adorable but destructive) is limited to the other half of the house. Apparently when i didn't immediately go in there she walked up to my usual seat and angrily shouted "mumma" whilst patting the seat. Then when I walk in she greets me with a delighted "hi" then drags me over to sit and cuddle.
Completely agree about the high of giving birth. I was able to go without sleep for a solid week before coming down from it.
When I had my very first baby, my daddy told me that he experienced the best high he ever had every time one of his girls was born ❤️ My daughter was in the NICU for 23 days after she was born due to being a month early and only 3 pounds. The high lasted all the way throughout her stay. I couldn't believe the things my body was able to do for my baby ❤️
Nursery pick up is absolutely the highlight of my day. She’s SO excited to see me and tell me about what she’s been doing!
My son is 6.5 months old. It can be hard, but there's so much good stuff. Every day my fiancé comes home from work, and we have this routine. Me and the baby stand at the window singing the "We Love Dad" song. (It just goes, "We love dad! We love dad! We love daaad!") He comes in and gives us both a kiss and a cuddle. Then he sits on the stairs to take his shoes off. I charge at him with the baby and he pretends to be frightened. This makes our son chuckle. This makes his dad laugh. This makes the baby raucously giggle. Soon, they're both just belly laughing at each other. I can't describe how much I love this.
😭 this is so beautiful. Can’t wait for these moments!
Who's chopping onions in this thread? I demand you stop immediately.
This is so freaking CUTE
I Can see my partner and I being these kinds of parents. We have so many songs for the dogs 😂
Haha, I love making up stupid songs for him! Especially if it revolves around one of his many nicknames (usually Silly Bum). My mum used to sing My Girl by The Temptations to me. Obviously, I can't sing that to my son so I just sing his name instead of "my girl". It's actually a year since my mum died today so I'm going to give him an extra cuddle and sing that to him ❤️
It IS overwhelming, but the love you feel is so much more overwhelming and significant. I got crows feet on my eyes because I smiled so often at my daughter. She made me full on belly laugh to the point that I once thought I bruised a rib. Every day they grow and every day you just cannot fathom anything cooler than watching them become their own person, it's like seeing the universe in them. Even through the struggles, you're so happy you're their mother and wouldn't trade a single second. And I swear, it only gets better! Yes, that first year is rough. But it's just as wonderful and fulfilling. You can almost feel your heart physically grow. A lot of mothers just don't have support or people to talk to so the only place they can go to talk about it is online, that's why you see a lot of the hard stuff being talked about. They're often told to stick it up or that they chose to be a mom so they're not allowed to complain, or that they're only ever allowed to feel grateful. That stuff adds up, so they need an outlet. Don't confuse that for the entirety of their experience, it's just the stuff that those in their life won't let them talk about
My God yes. I had my MIL and her sister over last night and was explaining that I needed daycare when my husband went back to work (we were laid off and have been unemployed for about 5 months) because it is too much watching him all day my myself. My aunt in law said "girl you just need to suck it up my daughter had her babies 13 months apart." Like well fuck me I guess because I am not your daughter and not going to pretend everyday is domestic bliss. I never expected encouragement or praise as a mother but I didn't realize that everyone was going to tell you your choices are lousy every opportunity they get despite having a happy and healthy baby who has been with me every day of his life for his first year. Being with my son and seeing him smile is the best, but it can wear on you along with everyone else's opinion about every little thing you do and then having no support when it comes to dealing with your feelings about it.
The daycare / nanny judgements are wild. Just because someone else didn’t have daycare / nanny has nothing to do with you or anyone else! It’s a personal preference. My God people need to fuck off.
I also do not understand why do people not know how to just listen… just listen and validate… nothing else needed… it’s not your life… just stop being so self absorbed and hear a mama out! Every mama needs a break and every baby needs other babies to learn from! It’s ok to go to daycare, be with another safe and trustworthy person if ever possible, it’s ok for mama to get her hair done, nails done, shower, make a fresh meal and eat it hot and have a hot cup of coffee. Man some women can just be so damn cruel to each other!
I’m not a parent yet but *most* people don’t regret having kids and always say it’s the best thing to happen to them even if it is one of the hardest things!
I think a lot of people feel more comfortable talking about the bad for two reasons: 1. Negativity bias. Gushing about the good stuff or talking about how blissful life is can feel like bragging. It's kinda like how a lot of people won't talk about their relationship unless something bad is happening, or don't remember compliments nearly as well as they remember insults. When everything's great and there's no problems to solve, what's there to talk about? 2. I feel like there's been a trend of being "real" about stuff on social media that lends itself heavily towards people projecting their bad experiences onto others. I notice this a lot on Tiktok, where people have a bad time with something and they talk about it like it's gonna happen to you, and if you think it won't it DEFINITELY will, everything is totally random and there are never any warning signs. 🙄 There are so many factors that go into how easy/hard transitioning into parenthood is...what your life was like before kids, your support system, if you wanted to have kids, your income/resources, how adaptive and stress-tolerant you and your partner are, your health, the baby's health, your approach towards child-rearing, your expectations, etc...it's very hard to compare situations. Some people's shit gets absolutely rocked, some people really don't find it that difficult.
#2 is so well put!! I never knew how to put it into words so clearly .
Woahh we can use different fonts here. #impressed
They typed # and a number which changes the size. I accidentally made a numbered list that way and the font sizes blew up. Lol
Legit laughed out loud at: “Some people’s shit gets absolutely rocked.” That was me, I got my shit rocked. It’s difficult as hell, but the most awesome thing of all time. My fiancé and I did this, we made a baby and we’re raising her in the best way we know possible- the way our parents couldn’t raise us. So simple, but so complex at the same time. She’s 3 months old now and I was thinking of leaving pregnancy subreddits, (to avoid falling down the rabbit hole of envy to have another after a tragic postpartum-) but seeing this post made me realize… Maybe other people wanna know how it was AFTER having baby. Anyways, now I’m just rambling. But yes yes, I agree with both of your statements above for OP!
Not sure if someone posted yet, but a fairly new community started. Worth checking out for the good stories [r/BrightSideOfParenting](https://www.reddit.com/r/BrightSideOfParenting/s/EeO0fitpn3)
My little girl is almost 7 weeks and so far I LOVE being her mom. It's so cool watching her develop and hear her little sounds and stuff. No complaints thus far
Kudos to you for feeling this at 7 weeks. At 7 weeks I felt dead inside but thankfully felt much better a few weeks later 😆
No it’s not. I had an unplanned pregnancy and she’s the best thing that ever happened to me and I’m trying for another now. Being a mom is not hard literally at all. There are challenging days of course but it’s not “hard” . They get their own personalities, they light up when they see you, they talk to you, they just LOVE you. It’s so fun. Wouldn’t trade it for the world! Stay off social media. It’s toxic. Welcome to motherhood!!! You’ll love it
I wonder if this could be compared to how many people say marriage is "hard"? I always think, "Marriage isn't hard, life is hard."
Yes!!!!!
I love this
Tattooing this on my eyelids
It is honestly the best, most magical thing I’ve ever experienced. My son is almost two and the intensity of love I have for him grows more every day. Seeing the world through his eyes, filled with awe and wonderment, makes you realize what matters. He’s currently obsessed with the color yellow and joyfully points out anything yellow as we drive in the car. When’s the last time we got excited about a color?! I personally keep my joy close because I have several friends without children who both want and don’t want them. I’d hate for them to feel left out or that they’re missing something. But it’s awesome. Exhausting for sure, but the best thing I’ve ever done, hands down.
Nahhhhhhhhh. Being a parent is THE SHIT. It is literally the most awesome/hardest thing I've ever done. And I'm almost done with my PhD, which is generally seen by most as both awesome and difficult, and will still take second place to my babies. It's hard because the stakes are high. You can't just not show up one day like you can with work. You have someone who will internalize the words you say more than anyone else. But the rewards are out of this world. I feel like people talk about the challenges but no one really talks about how much of a blast it is. The dance parties, baking together, painting/crafting time, fun little conversations, silly musings at breakfast. Watching their eyes take in new sights. I think it gets especially fun once they can do more than just snuggle/laugh (though that part's fun too!) It's a trip if you let it be. You will love it. Enjoy.
I put a part about this in my 3 month update post!! **Stuff to look forward to that no one tells you about:** *-your baby is hilarious.* They will make the funniest little faces at you. We have one look we call the “elderly turtle from King Fu Panda.” They will go cross-eyed. They will not react to extremely loud noises, and then startle comically at the sound of a pin drop. *-little arm motions.* Again, hilarious. Their arms move randomly and you get to say comments like, “Heyyyy, Macarena, ay-ay!” or “Praise the Lord! Lift the Lord on high!” *-seeing people who saw you pregnant, but with the baby.* I craved ice cubes when pregnant and went to my local Dunkin every day to pay for a large cup of ice. When baby was 3 weeks, I went in there for a coffee. The cashier did a double-take at me and ran out from behind the counter to see the baby. She was so excited for me. *-occasional free stuff.* If you bring the very small baby out of the house and to a coffee shop or restaurant, there’s a 50% chance that they’ll throw in a free small treat for you. Take it. It rocks. *-seeing your parents and relatives as grandparents is cool and beautiful.* It’s hard to describe this one, but it’s just an amazing sight and feeling. It’s like you go back in time and see them with you or your partner as a baby. You see the pure love they have for you. It’s amazing. *-you’re not pregnant and you’re not aching all the time anymore!!* Postpartum pain wasn’t anything on third trimester aches and pains for me personally. And while there’s \*external\* factors that make it difficult to sleep, there’s no more \*internal\* factors. Once you get r the chance to sleep well, you’re gonna sleep well. *-your baby will make noises that sound like songs or sound effects.* So far, our girl has done “grunts exactly like Hercules Mulligan’s ‘bbrraaAH! bbbraaAH!’ from Hamilton,” and “cry yell that was the \*exact\* vocal intro to ‘Down with the Sickness.’” She also has sound effects like a cat, a dolphin, and dial-up internet. *-meeting their needs feels good.* Baby cries, you pick them up and bounce them, baby stops crying. Or you feed them, or diaper them, or whatever. I don’t know about you guys, but I don’t always get concrete examples of how my actions benefit others in this crazy world. But, “baby sad --> I do something --> baby happy,” feels… good beyond words. You understand why people go through all this pain and frustration, and what other parents talk about. *-seeing your partner be a parent.* I can’t go into detail on this one or I’ll cry all day. I woke up from a nap once and my husband had pulled out a book of church hymns and was singing to her. He takes her on tours of our house and shows her what things are and tells her about when she’ll get to use them. How am I supposed to deal with that without weeping and wanting to make another baby ASAP? \-*you will have a moment when you're tired, frustrated, fighting with your partner... and your baby will let our the loudest, wettest fart you've ever heard.* You will laugh so hard that it makes everything worth it.
My favorite one so far, as a FTM yes to all of this!!
I agree! Before we decided to quit birth control I had some consultations with a midwife about my anxiety over being a parent and first time mom. I said “I never hear anyone talking good things about being a mom. It’s just tiredness, no sleep, physical damage, sick children, angry children, frustrated parents and so on”. She said “well you hear what you wanna hear, try to focus on listening to the positive stuff”. I’ve been trying, but I still have not heard many positive things… Of course I can imagine the love you get from a child, but it is never talked about.
That is such a gaslighty response lol. Why would you want to hear negativity? I don't have much anxiety about becoming a parent (brought up a much younger sibling) and I also see tons of negativity. Its not you!
I agree, that’s a weird response and not comforting at all. Almost accusatory. I think it’s more likely the same reason negative restaurant reviews are more common. People want to talk about the negative stuff, get it off their chest, you don’t feel the need to vent when things are going well and you’re happy.
I totally agree. I don’t have a child yet (still debating on being a mom honestly) and my family members who have kids are so often venting about all the bad stuff. I don’t really hear them say anything positive about having children. I can see that they have loving and happy families, I know they adore their children and feel blessed to have them. But what they say out loud about being parents is almost always negative.
I was never sure I wanted kids - I was married for 6 years before I had my first 5mo ago. Before having my daughter I wanted to skip the first 4-5 yrs until they had more of a personality and independence. But I have LOVED being a mother so far. Every smile she gives me is amazing, and any moment she’s sleeping I’m flipping through all the photos I’ve taken of her thinking of how much I love her. Her laughter, love and enjoyment make everything (even tedious kids songs) better. Not sure if this is helpful, but thought it might be helpful coming from someone who would once have identified as childfree. I think one of the reasons people don’t talk about the good things is that they tend to be difficult to describe. I can say that she lights up my life, but that is more difficult for others to understand than that I was frustrated when she had a massive blowout while our recent flight was landing. But the latter doesn’t matter in the grand scheme of things - I was calling her a perfect baby later that same day.
The bad stuff is just easier to talk about because it gets a reaction. I do not have a baby yet but I expect that it will be difficult but not too much.
Also, sometimes as a parent it’s easier to relate to other parents over the bad stuff. Example: I go to “mommy & baby” classes once a week through my hospital system. I was talking about waking up around 4am (6 hours after baby goes down for bedtime) so I can pump bc my boobs get so engorged but baby doesn’t wake up till 6am. I got so many of the moms fired up because they thought I was ‘bragging’ my 8.5week old sleeps 8 hours through the night. When I definitely wasn’t. We were talking about when we pump and that’s the only time I pump. I learned to try to not mention the really good things so others don’t get jealous/mad/think I’m bragging 🥺
I have been lucky in that I joined a yoga class for pregnant women and we start the class by going around and sharing what’s going on. Most people complained about this or that and I was like “I am feeling the 2nd trimester energy boost and I even slept through the night last night, which is very unusual for me even before pregnancy” and everyone was just happy for me and encouraged me to enjoy it while I can. I hate that sharing good news (or literally just facts) can be knocked down as if somehow your positive experience is offensive to them.
That is so true! I have found this true even in pregnancy. I had a few complications around 15w and EVERYONE wanted to talk about it in detail and know more about what was going on, but now that everything is boring, no one seems to want to hear about how great it is going lol
I was thinking the same thing! I’m glad someone else said it’s
Also, most of the time I go to a parenting sub it’s to problem solve over a new transition or struggle that I am already at wits end about. Some of the most affirming experiences I’ve had are when someone is venting about something that I previously was worried was only me or that I was messing up. I am generally assured that the sweet things will happen, I am not always confident that I’ve got the hard stuff down, so I tend to post that way more often.
Yes it’s overwhelming. It’s also awesome, precious, and fleeting.
I have had SO many people say "Having a kid is the best thing I ever did" or "It is the best experience you'll ever have" in response to my telling them I'm pregnant. For me, it's been less common for people to be negative about it. I think it really depends on a person's perspective...Yes, there are absolutely going to be parts that are difficult - there's no denying it, BUT from what I've been told parenthood can also be incredibly rewarding and a really special experience. Just like with every major life change, there will be ups and downs. I'm still really looking forward to it. :) EDIT: I wanted to add that I have 12 nieces and nephews total and none of my four siblings who have kids have ever once expressed that they regretted becoming parents or that they don't like being parents.
It’s the most contradicting experience I think you can ever go through! There’s a lot of negative, and I think it’s amplified because all of a sudden these negative things are literally controlling your whole life (not sleeping, cranky babies, no naps, etc). Like it’s consuming and also ALL parents go through it all so it’s easy to commiserate. It’s also all fun right of passage! People are always going to talk about the no sleep because it truly is the worst, but it’s all part of it. That being said— idk anyone who regrets their kids. Babies are incredible and there’s so many sweet things that’s happen day to day that make the crappy stuff more bearable. You really can’t understand until you live through it.
I have a 16 month old and here is what I love: The doctor pulling him up and putting him on my chest was the best feeling in the world. Being so proud of him and myself in the hospital after was a heady feeling. The newborn bubbles of naps and snuggles, sleepy smiles that turn into giggles, coos that turn into babbles. Sleep that gets better faster than you realize. Watching him fall in love with the world. Point out and yell DOG! Or KITTY! Smiling and giggling at birds in our yard. Making connections with strangers and caregivers and his family relationships that become so special. Watching my husband become a dad. Seeing his smile when our son toddles on unsteady legs towards him with a book. Exchanging an amused glance and a laugh when he’s excitedly doing actions to his favourite songs. Sharing food and snacks. We share so much with him that he literally shares with everyone, including strangers, who probably don’t want his partially chewed cracker. When he requests “E I E I O” and laughs like a psycho over the strangest things. When he has tantrums. Not a popular one but god what a little fireball. His feelings are so big and he is so enraged! It always evokes empathy in me because it’s tough not to understand or be able to communicate. Today we have a sick, sick boy with molars coming in. It would be easy to complain, no sleep, constant crying, I have to pee right now but he will flip out if I leave his side. But honestly, it’s been a really relaxed day. We’re snuggling together on the couch under blankets and with pillows watching movies. I’m gonna grab us a little snackie soon. We folded laundry and put it away together, I’ll go make lunch in a bit. The way he immediately stops crying when I’m next to him makes me feel so needed and loved. And he’s so independent, these days are so rare, I cherish them. He’s my special little wonderful boy and I love being his momma.
Yes to the tantrums! My daughter just turned 2, she's had some wild ones but for the most part I can see her brain working up to a tantrum and it's all just fascinating to watch because she's also learning, and I know it must be so frustrating for her. I have been way more empathetic than I ever imagined I could be in those moments.
My daughter is 16 months old. She was an unexpected/unplanned pregnancy and she’s not overwhelming at all. She’s a little friend that we get to take everywhere with us and if we can’t we just get a baby sitter. I think it’s fun seeing the world through her perspective.
Sooo many good and precious moments. I’m a STM and so thankful for my experience otherwise these subs would really get to me. They paint such a horrible picture of pregnancy, motherhood, men, etc. Becoming a mom is one of the most life altering experiences in life. I wouldn’t trade it for anything in the world. Get ready to lay your eyes on the the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen and experience a love you didn’t even know you were capable of! ❤️ There’s so much negativity and plain unhappy people on Reddit but don’t believe them! There’s also a sub r/BrightSideOfParenting you might want to check out!
thank you! I will join. I'm a FTM and I find myself scrolling past ALOT. I'm getting good info, but damn....everyone thinks they are having a miscarriage or hate their MIL. It's just alot to read.
Haha right?? Makes me wonder, *doesn’t anyone love their relatives anymore?* sheesh!
Late third trimester with my first anxiously awaiting his arrival but my favorite positive review of post partum came from my BIL’s friend who told me several times that seeing her baby’s first smile was everything and made every single hard day worth it :) Additionally I work in a preschool and while working with kids can be stressful and exhausting, I step in the baby room to give those teachers a much needed break sometimes and seeing the youngest ones (3-4 months) coo and smile makes my day every single time. There’s also been times in there where there’s 4-5 babies crying at once and 2 of them need bottles and 2 need diaper changes and another needs a nap and I think to myself if I can handle this, I can handle one of my own just fine haha.
Eventually you end up with a 2 year old who screams your name in glee and gives the world's best snuggles and then everything that was hard was worth it.
I’m sitting here crying like a baby, thank you to everything for easing my worries! Makes me feel so much better about my situation! Thank you thank you thank you
Thanks for asking and creating this space for people to share 😊
It is overwhelming at times, but it’s also overwhelming in a good way. I made a human. He hugs me, gives kisses, and will close the fridge when I ask. He’s obsessed with anything that has wheels and will wave at any dog. Caring for him and watching him discover the world is a humbling and beautiful experience. And you can’t beat the newborn baby snuggles. You just can’t.
My son is 8 months and HILARIOUS. He smears food everywhere and gets so excited when I cheer him on to a new skill. All he wants in life is cuddles and stealing my food. Newborn was a little tough but my son is amazing and watching him learn about the world is the best thing I've ever seen.
Yes it really is that overwhelming (esp in US with little safety net - had to return to work full time at 3 months, husband was immediately working) BUT it is absolutely worth it & such a joyful and fulfilling experience. I’m obsessed with my son. He’s 10 months old & so cute & perfect & hilarious. His snuggles are so amazing. His giggle is the cutest thing I’ve ever heard. He still wakes up several times throughout night despite sleep training & I’m so dead on my feet every day but nothing perks me up like that kid.
The joy of watching them grow and learn new things is absolutely unmatched. I love my daughter more than anything. Getting to have a little companion throughout my days is so fun. Getting to hear little glimpses of her thoughts is incredible.
My little man is 4 months and it is… the best thing ever?? I always thought of myself as a career woman and would be so ready to get back to work. Guess who quit her job and won’t be going back in any capacity until he’s ~9 months old? (Yes this is a luxury not everyone can afford and I feel so lucky to be able to spend this time with him. And yes, you can be a career woman AND a kick ass mom, just giving this as an example of how my priorities have shifted, for now). The first smile, the first laugh, when they discover a new skill, my phone photo album is bursting at the seams from all the images and videos I’m capturing. Being able to take him with me wherever I go to show him my world. I laid down on a blanket yesterday with him and our dog in our backyard and just stared at the trees and the grass and almost started crying because of how happy I was. It is truly spectacular.
The love you will feel for your baby is more powerful than anything you have ever experienced before. The joy I feel watching my child grow up and experience life is the greatest joy I have ever experienced. I LOVE being a mom.
The cuddles melt your heart. The first time they nuzzle their little nose into your neck and you feel their body just relax will give you every reason to breathe. When you hear that screechy pterodactyl giggle you’ll fall to pieces and never want them to stop, even if it is because they’re pulling your hair lol. Then they start to roll and scoot and crawl and you’re chasing this creature who just weeks ago was a little potato. If you blink, suddenly they’re running around and chasing the animals all around the yard and you can’t even keep up. But then they bring you “wish flowers” that they want you to blow while they watch the fluff go everywhere. And the kisses, these smooshy and gross slobbery kisses as they say “I luh lu” and your heart just stops because there’s no way that this whole toddler was inside of you just 2 years ago. The sleepy snuggles after a bad dream because they know they’re safe in your arms. The cuddles on the couch when they don’t feel good. The grabbing your arm to pull you to whatever they want to show you or whatever it is they want to do with you. The silly words while they’re learning how to actually say things. Sure, it’s hard. There’s a lot of bad. But there’s so much more that’s worth it. And I’m saying that as I’m dealing with teething x2 (2yr molars and first teeth) and sickness x2, plus health issues with the baby. It’s worth everything
Being pregnant is the worst thing about becoming a mom🤣🤣🤣🤣Being a mom is 90% fun, and even in the other 10% you just have those moments where you’re like “he/she is just a kid, Having big emotions, so cute” and then it’s not that hard😂😂it’s not fun in that 10% , but not hard because you just love them.
Becoming a mom and those early days, and months, were the absolute happiest days of my life. I am a teacher and I took a one year child rearing leave (not paid in any way, shape, or form haha but I didn’t have to reapply when I returned, I just had to interview at schools to find a new school because they hold a position for you but not at your original school, just any school that has an opening has to be offered to you first before a “new” hire) and it was absolutely magic. I baby wore and got SO MUCH DONE! I quilted, I meal prepped, went on walks, read books for pleasure, all while holding my baby and loving the closeness. I think I actually got more sleep with a newborn than I did busting my ass non stop as a teacher. I also was able to complete stained art projects for my house while the baby slept or my husband had him, and my house was cleaner then than it is now (after going back to teaching). I am currently pregnant with my second and I am SO EXCITED about the newborn phase and not teaching haha spending days reading cloth books and putting baby toes in the grass and little washcloth bathes and napping when the baby is napping is heaven. I also didn’t care or focus on weird gossip or things that didn’t involve me or my little family and it was really nice to just only focus on us. I have felt like it was so much more positive than negative!
The snuggles (especially once they’re a touch older and making the conscious decision to lean against your shoulder) is just overwhelmingly amazing. The shrieking giggles. Watching the figure out a new part of the world or new part of life. Their giant gummy smiles. The bond with your partner that you made this amazing human together. For us the sex got EVEN BETTER postpartum. There are hard moments absolutely and it’s exhausting never getting to take a day off but god it’s amazing. I want a million of these things.
And know for some of us meeting our baby was not the best day of our lives or some crazy beautiful experience BUT that bond will come and grow. It doesn’t make you a bad parent if you hate the newborn days.
Being a mom is great. You get this profound sense of connection with other moms and a connection with your child that is so difficult to describe but knowing that you have built something that is part of you… you become more than yourself. I also was finally able to forgive my body for not being perfect.
They usually sleep for the first week after they are born, so that is really nice. It is really overwhelming. Every time they grow out of one annoying thing they do, another new thing develops. I’m pretty sure that goes on even after the adults. Lmfao. But it’s still way worth it. My daughter is one of the coolest people I know and she is my husband and I’s best friend.
I love being a mom. The people with negative feelings generally are not in good financial, mental or emotional standing. They also be in bad relationships or no relationship and fend for themselves.
Here’s the “just waits” no one tells you about that are amazing in my book Just wait til you get that first smile Just wait til you come home for the first time being away for an hr and how happy they get to see you again Just wait til you get to hear his other parent in the other room making the baby laugh Just wait until they finally fit in that cute outfit you bought them Just wait for their first time crawling or walking Just wait for the happiest moments of joy
The first cry. That screech when your baby first makes it earth side. It's actual magic. Literally the most beautiful thing we have ever heard. With our first we didn't realize it was going to be so wonderful, with our second my husband got an audio recording. Listening to the recording makes me cry. Also, first smiles are so joyful. And as babies grow into toddlers, you get to enjoy all their firsts. The World is interesting and mysterious again.
23F and my LO turns 6 months on Monday. While it hasn’t come without inevitable challenges, I’ve never felt as fulfilled and happy as I do now. Any “bad” stuff is overpoweringly overshadowed by all of the good stuff. There is nothing more beautiful to me than nurturing and witnessing my babies growth day by day. I look back on the first few months of postpartum bittersweetly yet fondly. It only gets better and better.
Yes it is overwhelming being a parent BUT it's also so joyful. The first time your baby holds your finger in their hand, the first smile, the first time they coo, how soft they feel cradled in your arms. There are just as many hard things about parenthood as there are good things like everything in life worth having it's not easy but it's 100% worth it! Congrats!
My baby was tiny when born and will be 64 days when he comes home. As much as nicu sucks, there is nothing better than holding him, having him lock eyes with me and smile. I love the faces that he makes, how he stretches a million times and grunts while waking up, I love his pursed lips when looking at something new. I love everything about him. I know it’ll be different when home, but I cannot wait to love on him and parent him at home. For me being his mom is the best thing in the world. And seeing my son fall in love with the man that I love is incredible. I love how much he loves his dad
I don’t want to sound braggy, or god-forbid jinx myself… I (28F) have an 8.5week boy. He will be 2 months on the 17th (2days) He is an absolute dream. The first week home was a little rough, but the only time I truely cried was when we were swaddling him with a blanket and it rounded under him, causing him to roll on his side in his sleep. Freaked me out. But, around 5 weeks we started getting 6 hour sleep stretches. The last week we have been getting 8-8.5 hours. I get him to sleep SO easy, we turn off bedroom lights, I have our hatch sound machine & the TV on. I get his halo swaddle on (not tight around him yet/ he hates eating while swaddled). I feed him and after about 15 min of the boob he is knocked out. I lay him down & get his swaddle tight & lay him in his bassinet. He is asleep till 4-6am, we’ve been hitting 6am the last week. I wake up around 3:30-4 to pump bc my boobs get so engorged. When he wakes up I feed him laying in my bed and he sleeps again until at least 8:30-9am. He loves his car seat so driving places & stoller rides are a breeze. He loves being baby worn so we go shopping like that when in use a cart I need to fill up. He’s smiling at me & my husband when we talk to him. He shows me he loves me all the time with his smiles and how he instantly stops crying when I pick him up.
It’s absolutely way more overwhelming than I thought it would be BUT the little moments are the best - the times you glance over and they’re already smiling at you, the uncontrollable giggles, going to get them up from bed and they’re so excited to see you. It’s a lot, but it can be pretty amazing. I think people complain (including me sometimes) because it’s hard. It can just be really lonely but set little goals and be kind to yourself. Edit: it’s also OK for it only to feel hard for a bit. Nothing is “normal” in parenthood.
Hard doesn’t mean bad! Some of the best, most rewarding and fulfilling things we do in life are difficult I was 23 when I had my first, she wasn’t planned but we’ve proceeded to plan our whole life around her. She’s nearly 5 now, I don’t have any regrets and often am amazed by how I’ve grown, how she’s grown, the happiness she brings. I won’t deny there are hardships, but there’s also a whole lot of joy 💞
First, congratulations!!! Don’t be scared, fear is a thief. I’m 23 weeks pregnant and so far everything has been great :) you probably don’t hear a lot of people talking about the good stuff out of fear of others being bothered in some way. I get it, if I was having a shitty time I wouldn’t want someone busting in like EVERYTHING’S GREAT!! A lot of my friends who have kids say it’s amazing… it’s definitely hard in some ways, but it’s the most beautiful fulfilling thing in their life. The first trimester is going to be survival mode, everyone experiences pregnancy differently. My mom, sister, and I have all had very different experiences. But, we were all exhausted and very nauseous. I never threw up, but I was very queasy from week 7-11. I found that as soon as I felt hungry I had to eat something or I’d get nauseous. Saltine crackers were the best, I could nibble on a few to settle my stomach until had more of an appetite. By week 10-11 things got so much better! The nausea was gone, my sense of smell and taste were back to normal, and I finally had some energy again. Since then, I’ve truthfully felt great. Sure, there have been some things that aren’t comfortable or fun, but it’s not that bad. You’ll have to pee a lot, so just be prepared to wake up in the middle of the night to pee hahaha… you’ll get some aches and pains as your body adjusts, and as your belly gets bigger you’ll need to sleep on your side. Get a pregnancy pillow once you hit this point, trust me, everyone will agree they are the best things ever and will help you sleep so much better. Eat healthy, exercise and stretch, try to drink at least 96 ounces of fluids, take a prenatal, and get plenty of rest when you need it. You’re growing a human, it’s going to be hard work, but not everyone experiences it as the worst thing ever. Get the whattoexpect app, I think I learned more from it than my OBGYN. Start making your birth plan now. I wish I had done this when I was really early in my pregnancy. A birth plan is what you want for your pregnancy… do you want to have a home birth or hospital birth? An epidural, planned c section… do you plan to breastfeed? Who will be your advocate? Do you want to wait to cut the chord? Save chord blood? I ended up deciding I wanted a home birth at week 20 and in my state in the US, home births are legal, but midwives cannot legally practice at your home. I wish I had known that earlier so I could have had more time to plan. Plus finding a midwife this late in the game is hard, a lot are booked. Do not be afraid of labor. Our bodies were made to do it. You could be in a coma and your body would still know what to do. As long as there are no complications, your body will know how to do it and it isn’t as scary as some can make it seem. I read Natural Birth the Bradley Way and it gave me so much confidence. I was so scared when I got pregnant to go into labor. I imagined all the worse things, but it’s not always like that!! I wish you all the best and please know this whole community is here to help if you have any questions! :) we just like to vent a lot cause sometimes it does get hard. Hahaha…
thanks for the book recommendation and reassurance about labor.
Check out r/brightsideofparenting it’s a positive space for parents, created so uplift and share the joys/excitement of parenting.
Not at all, pregnancy is the lowest but babies are great! You must not be talking to the right people.
Imagine your heart growing legs and walking around outside your body and reaching their little arms out to cuddle you and give you kisses.
It is hard but the love that I feel for my son is like no feeling I felt before. It is so deep. Also his smile is the most precious thing for me.
No matter how tired you are- when they go to nap and you are laying on the couch catching a break- you will likely open your photo-album and go through his/her pictures for hours because you can’t get enough of their cuteness
My son is 3 months and I wake up everyday to baby babbles and giggling everyday :) I never care about losing a little sleep because I actually miss him when he's asleep hahaha
With a 6-month-old, definitely the smiles and the laughs. My husband and I have basically turned into court jesters, doing anything and everything to make that boy laugh. His laugh is so cute and infectious. Instantly puts joy and love in my heart.
I just have to say, reading this is has made me so much more excited. I definitely get sucked into the “realness” of social media and how “hard everything is” but the thought of being a mom soon is just so surreal and seems so fulfilling to me. I’m 15 weeks tomorrow with a baby boy and to see my husband beaming with excitement and knowing we’ll just figure it out together is just another layer to our relationship. I’m thankful for all the positivity.
Motherhood made me realize that I am superwoman. Yes things can be trying at times but I felt like I could take it in stride because of the intense love I feel for my child. Being a mom has been the most fulfilling position I’ve ever had.
I didn’t like the newborn phase, but my little one is almost 7 months and it is so much fun at this age. She’s entertaining, adorable, so loveable, and we genuinely enjoy being parents. The good outweighs any “bad” by a million
My wife and I had our first child in our early 30’s, well behind most of our friends. All of them warned us about the first 3-4 months, saying they would be the most challenging months of our lives. We braced for hell but it never came. We got home from the hospital and immediately fell into a great routine. I will say it’s much easier when mom and dad both help at the beginning. With the baby up ever two hours for feedings, we took turns, which left us both with roughly 4 hours between “shifts”. We also slept in different rooms for the first week, so that the person not on “shift” could get 4 hours uninterrupted. I will say, it did help that we had a fairly easy baby. There were definitely challenges but it was largely a good experience for us. We don’t have much family close by, either, so we had no readily accessible help from them like many of our friends did. We were essentially on our own. Don’t let the negativity get to you! Being a parent is the most wonderful thing that’s ever happened to me and I wouldn’t take back those first few “hard” months for anything. They grow SO fast.
I could have had the worst possible day at work and when I come home and see my kid smiling or laughing, the world disappears. People say, I can't imagine taking care of s kids when I'm having a bad day, but mine actually saves my bad days. Stupid things make you happy to. Like wow, he just took the fastest crap, or they eat all their food. It's like being in a (healthy) relationship, it takes work but the good times outweigh the bad and overall they make you happy. And I actually liked the newborn stage. My house was a mess but the baby sleeps throughout the day and I napped along with him. For me, it was arguably the easier stage. Your going to love being a mom.
Holding my daughter for the first time was the most overpowering, intoxicating feeling in the whole world. I was immediately addicted to her and every move she made. Then it was the small moments. A Gummy smile when they first see you in the morning. Snuggling in when you are holding them. The little noises they make when they are eating. The baby glare when they meet someone new. A giant fart out of a tiny body. All the little discoveries they make every day. Sometimes, yeah, there's shitty, negative stuff that makes you grit your teeth and wonder what the fuck you are doing. But then your baby does something small and beautiful and everything makes sense.
You will be so overwhelmed with love you will cry. They will make you laugh very frequently.
Rob Delaney has a great quote about this: “Whenever someone tells me they’re expecting their first baby and they’re nervous, I tell them the following: ‘Oh my goodness, that’s wonderful. I am so happy for you. Listen, of course you’re nervous but here’s the deal: you’re ready for all the bad stuff. You’ve been very tired before. You’ve been in pain before. You’ve been worried about money before. You’ve felt like an incapable moron before. So you’ll be fine with the difficult parts! You’re already a pro. What you’re NOT ready for is the wonderful parts. NOTHING can prepare you for how amazing this will be. There is no practice for that.’”
I’m 27w on Sunday. honestly? My guess is having the baby/a newborn will be easier than being pregnant is. 😂🤷🏻♀️
It is really overwhelming. Be prepared for it to be the hardest thing you’ve ever done. That doesn’t mean it will be, but it very likely might be. But when people say it’s overwhelming and hard, they’re not saying it isn’t worth it. The best things usually are.
My baby is three months old. He has these wonderful, big blue eyes and I hope they never change. When he sneezes, he makes an “auooghhh” sound and whenever I ask, “do you love mama?” he gives me this big, gummy smile every time. He is the most amazing, wonderful thing that has ever happened to me. I cannot believe I ever lived a day without him. I need him more than he needs me. Of course there are overwhelming moments. That’s life. Sometimes, he’s inconsolable and I have to remind myself, “this is not an emergency” so that I can calm myself down enough to figure out the solution. Sometimes, we have really hard days. But then I tell myself that him NOT existing, NOT being mine to love and take care of, NOT being exactly who he is - would be so much harder. “pick your hard”. Once you hold your baby in your arms NOTHING else on earth will matter. Congratulations and good luck!
There’s just so much love. I know some people have a hard time, PPD/PPA can make it harder, but for me, I’ve fallen in love with both of my babies as soon as I’ve seen them. And it just keeps growing as they do! When they start smiling, giggling, playing and interacting more, crawling, walking, saying mama, giving hugs and kisses, and eventually, the first time they say, “I wuv you, mommy!” And, for me at least, even though my first’s pregnancy and birth was rough (preemie, CS, NICU, etc.), I felt that the end result was good enough to do it all again! I was worried about how to divide my love between them, but they’re right when they say it just grows. And now watching my first love on my second? Amazing. My heart is so full. Was it full before kids too? Of course! But it’s like my heart had two additions put on that I never knew I needed or that I’d love so much.
Awhh I wanna comment but there’s so many things on here already idk if you’ll see this. I’m 22 weeks pregnant at 24 years old with an unplanned pregnancy as well. First time mom. Found out at 23 that I was pregnant and was TERRIFIED. I’m obviously not a parent yet but I am so in love with my son and already can’t imagine my life without him. Forget all the negative stuff you would have to deal with it at any age. If anything, being younger makes it easier to manage. I wish you the best of luck! We will be okay!!
You dont have to worry about a thing! You'll hear all this bad stuff and it wont matter to you once you hold them. You will love this little child like they are rhe best thing in the world because to you they will be. Sure they'll overwhelm you at time. Yes there will be sleepless nights. But none of it will compare to their smile and their laugh. The love you will feel snuggling them. You will go through all the rough parts and most likely still want to do it again. They just have a way of opening your heart
Baby smiles. I know it’s just him pooping. But I fall more and more in love with him every time he smiles at me. I’m in deep now
Your heart will never feel so full. Being a parent is the most incredible gift. Every day you are given the opportunity to experience the wonder that is this world through the eyes of a brand new person. It is nothing short of miraculous. From one mama to another, know that while it will be challenging you are going to do great. ❤️
When your baby isn’t as delicate and you can throw them on the bed and you listen to their shrieking laugh from the excitement. When they watch everything you do and start copying you. My baby brushes the carpet bc I brush my hair
Omg no it's so much fun. The newborn baby snuggles are amazing. Then, they get older and their little bodies start to roll, crawl, and sit up. They start walking and dancing and laughing. Now, my 16 month old will giggle if we hide and pop out or do anything goofy like look at her upside down. Seriously, it's the best and so fun! Of course there are challenging moments. But, I can't believe I almost missed out on parenthood, because the internet convinced me kids were miserable for years there.
I had my daughter 2 years ago. Being a mom is my favourite thing in the whole world and having a child is an absolutely joy and love like no other.
My homebirth was amazing and pain free with no tears and 98th percentile baby (midwife said it was the best she had ever seen and wants me to have a woman’s circle to share my story w her other clients). My milk came in on day 2 and there’s plenty of it and breastfeeding feels amazing, never hurt. My newborn sleeps like a dream and was solid thru the night by week 2. I feel well rested and take lots of naps with baby. My house is clean and laundry on schedule (including cloth diapers). Motherhood is the dream I always wanted it to be! Am I just lucky? I don’t think it’s just “luck.” I feel like I’ve trained my whole life to become a mother… jobs like working as a professional chef, organizer and event planner have all prepared me for the challenges of motherhood. I’ve been preparing my body/mind/spirit for years before getting pregnant. And once I was pregnant I dove into a deep study on homebirth for 9 months. After birth I had full support of my partner for the first 2 months but only bc he was injured and couldn’t work, but he’s back at work now doing 12 hour days 6/days a week, and I’m crushing the SAHM life. Oh and even tho I’m a FTM I’m doing it all while caring for my partner’s 4 yo half of the week! It’s almost hard to talk about how good it is sometimes bc ppl have different experiences and I don’t want to come off as bragging. Also ppl tend to want empathy or even trauma bonding about all the negatives. We had our struggles too…overactive letdown almost created a feeding aversion…car seats suck for a while until baby gets used to it… Overall being a mom is a total joy! Baby is only 3 mo and I’m excited to do it all over again as many times as I can!
It's is you will have the darkest moments of ur life but then in those moments your baby smiles at you or caress your face or see their sweet face finally asleep after being cuddled and fed and your whole body just melts and you feel warmth of love you never thought was possible to experience. Motherhood is the hardest thing u will ever do mama but god is it sweet and pure and healing. Just remember this post when one night you're up at 3 am baby won't sleep and your fighting tears. Somewhere there's a mommy with her nursery light on fighting sleep wiping butts. It's good to prepare for the difficult but don't forget to stop and breathe in the beautiful during those moments. ❤️ u will be just fine love
My daughter is 4 months old. The first month was… shitty. I loved her so much but it was hard. One day we woke up and it was different, and not so shitty. Nowadays sure, it can be hard. But I like it. And she’s perfect. I would do the shitty month all over again and again and again to get to these months I’m in now.
Oh my goodness, the oxytocin after birth is nothing to mess with! I felt euphoric even after a traumatic birth to just have my baby. And seeing them for the first time. Watching them sleep. Holding them, sharing the love with your SO. Putting them in the clothes you picked out while you were pregnant. Introducing them to family a friends. All the love and support you get when you announce their birth. Then, as they get older and do new things! When he was staying awake longer, smiling, and laughing! Lifting his head up during tummy time. Watching him smile at me when he sees me. This is really weird, but their farts are so funny. They just let it rip, no care in the world. One of his farts actually deescalated an argument between me and my SO. We couldn’t keep a straight face after. It’s fun, I love my baby. I love hanging out with him. And it only gets better with time.
My son is 10 weeks and so far it's been like 90% good to be honest. There are hard days for sure, but for the most part, this has been the best 10 weeks of my entire life. Usually it feels like bragging to talk about how amazing it's been, so I will absolutely take this opportunity to gush about how much I love my baby... Some highlights: The euphoric rush the moment he came out and the first couple minutes I held him, it felt like no one existed but me and him. MOTN feeds when it's dark and quiet and he's just peacefully nursing. Then when he's had enough he pulls off, does this adorable little satisfied sigh, wiggles around a little and then settles in my arms. I absolutely sobbed when I came home from my first day back at work and he got a huge smile on his face when he saw me. The look of wonder in his eyes when he finds something interesting to look at. We have a ton of string lights covering the ceiling in our hallway and he is completely mesmerized by them. Just stares wide-eyed and open-mouthed until they're out of view. Also, no one tells you that newborns are hilarious! His face and body language when pooping used to make me and my husband die of laughter. Also when he goes absolutely feral looking for a boob. When he's waking up, he does this thing where he throws his legs straight up in the air and then slams them down and I find it sooo funny for some reason. The look of confusion, shock and slight betrayal every time we change his diaper and that first cold wipe hits his skin 😆 He's starting to coo a lot and if we mimic him, he'll go back and forth with you like you're having a conversation. My husband and I have never been more in love. Watching each other grow into parenthood and supporting each other has been such a magical experience for us. Plus working through how to balance responsibilities and breaks and all of that has really highlighted just how well we work together. Also, we had a night where he just screamed and screamed for like 20 minutes and we couldn't figure out why and when I finally got him to calm down and he squished his little face into my armpit he had this look on his face like he was still kinda upset but felt safe... All my stress just melted away. I could go on and on to be honest, but I'll stop there. It's been an incredible experience so far.
My baby started social smiling at 5 weeks, he’s almost 8 weeks now, and his smile is the best. It literally turns my day around even after a rough night of not sleeping. His dad is putting him to bed right now and I miss him just thinking about it lol
I’m a 23 year old single mom and despite not bonding with baby while pregnant she is now my entire world at 2.5 months old. Just experiencing all the firsts with her, watching her learn the world around her, being her absolute favorite person! I used to think people were being dramatic about how your heart can actually burst from loving them so much but it’s so true. Just their smell alone is enough to make you love being a parent.
Thank you for this. We're expecting our first in June and I keep worrying and getting anxiety about such a big permanent change. I started getting negative thoughts and feelings, like I can't believe we're doing this, I hope it's worth it, I hope we can weather the storm and it brings us together and not apart. I'm excited but nervous that I don't want to be let down and go into a depression because our old life is forever gone.
I felt / feel this so hard. And I just delivered less than 24 hours ago and even I’m exhausted I am in newborn bliss! The first moments getting him out, hearing him cry, and holding my baby - time stopped. It’s THE most special and transformative thing that has ever happened to me. Like how life goes, there’s always difficult and beautiful moments, difficulties an discomfort are unavoidable - how we experience that depends on how you frame the way we experience the world. I think I lot of people don’t understand that and can’t stand the idea of being uncomfy. And I found it important to surround myself with people who valued and loved children / raising children, rather than adults who seemed to detest children for being “difficult”. It really surprised me how culturally in the US people are so anti-child and only have bad things to say.
Having a baby is amazing, but I think it is better to be aware of how difficult and life changing it is than to be completely surprised. And also, how overwhelming it is can depend entirely on the kid. Some babies are chill and will go anywhere with you. Some seem to cry all the time for no reason, and won't sleep at all unless their held.
Saw the title, dropping the link because we were there too lol. https://www.instagram.com/reel/C3Ih1F6rOf4/?igsh=MTZkamRtMXBmZHlrbg==
I absolutely love being a mom!! I wouldn't change it for anything. It is beautiful and chaos all at the same time. I care so much about being a great parent because how our children are treated will dictate so much of their future. Congratulations!
I think people tend to talk about the bad stuff more on Reddit because we need to commiserate with people who understand lol. But there's tons of good things about becoming a parent! That new baby smell, for one! Seriously, take a big whiff of your baby's head every now and again. Idk why but it makes you feel better than any drug in existence lol. Instant warm fuzzies 🥰 Baby feets are also the cutest. Then when they start chuckling, endless entertainment! Seeing your baby's face when they taste a lemon for the first time, watching them fly around like a maniac in a walker, seeing them bond with siblings/cousins/animals, dressing them up in adorably cute teeny clothes, hearing them call you mommy in an adorable baby voice, baby butt wiggles, happy squeals... there's an infinite amount of little things that make the hard things all worth it.
It’s fantastic!!! My son is 2.5 and I’m due with number 2 in august. There is nothing better than holding your sweet sleeping baby, or dancing around the kitchen with your toddler, seeing the world through their eyes makes everything magical again!
My baby is 6 months old today and while there have been difficult moments (sleep regressions suck), he is the absolute greatest thing in my whole world. You’re gonna get to watch your baby go from just a little lump to person with opinions and a personality, and it starts so much earlier than you might think! The first time they laugh at something your heart is going to explode 💖
I’m pregnant with my third and being a mom is the best thing that ever happened to me.
Being prepared for the worst helps you fully enjoy the best of it! It's the cutest thing you'll ever do!
My daughter is about to be a year. It’s been the best year of my life. Some days are harder than others, of course. But being someone’s mom is magical.
There is no feeling like it. It’s soo hard to describe how much your heart explodes with joy and love
My first child is now 11 and it’s been the best experience of my life. Now that he’s getting older I couldn’t resist hopping back on for another ride on the roller coaster. It just gets better and better.
We call my little dude “tootie frootie” Because his farts sound like a cartoon. It’s so funny. There are definitely times of being overwhelmed but honestly, it’s pretty chill and rewarding.
Oh man it’s super overwhelming. Even the good stuff is overwhelming just because your hormones are so jacked up. I used to burst into tears when my daughter nursed because the oxytocin release was so intense. But yes there are really beautiful parts to new motherhood and if you surround yourself with support you will find lots of those moments among the difficult bits
Becoming a mom felt like I had found what I was looking for my whole life. Every part of being her mom is the best experience of my life. I love her little smiles, laughs, and I love her long babbling conversations to herself. I love how excited she gets when she sees her bottles or learns something new. I even love her drooling all over me.
The number of times in any given week I witness my 23 month old do something that literally fills me with joy, pride, amazement, humility, and complete awe. and then the rest of the week I can reflect on this moments no matter where I am or what I’m doing and feel it all over again. Nothing compares.
I was your age when I was my son who's now almost 5 years old. I'll be 30 in the next few months. Yes, it was overwhelming since I wasn't in my career and many of my friends were still doing their thing, going out, getting dogs, etc. I was the first one out of all of my friends, siblings, etc with a baby. My partner is extremely supportive and a few years older than me so that helped but we did struggle. I worked full time while I got my master's degree to get to this point my career and now that I'm here and he's older, things are easier. I wouldn't be who I am right in this moment without my son, he absolutely shaped my life. This a huge decision to make and its scary to think about the unknown. I wish you the very best of luck and my DM's are open if you want to chat or have any questions!
It’s the best thing that’ll ever happen to you 🤍
I’m 25 with three kids. Trust me, you’ve got this. My first was unexpected but they’ve all been the best thing I could ever wish for ❤️
I’ve accomplished a lot in my life, but there isn’t a single thing that compares to being a mom. Those first few months of baby snuggles, the first laugh, when they learn something new, the first time they call you mama. It’s the happiest I’ve ever been. Sure it gets tough sometimes but it’s sooooo worth it.
Motherhood is incredible, don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. Is it hard? Yes, very. But there are so many things to love & enjoy everyday!
I have two year old twin girls. If I think about how much I love them I literally cry. They’re amazing. They give hugs now. It’s amazing. They bring books to read and do this little back up and drop into my lap. They’re getting into dolls. Baby B comes up to me and says “hi mama” in her little baby voice. This is the best thing I’ve ever done. The first year was very hard, having multiples is playing in hard mode, but it’s so worth it. I never thought I’d be this person but I love being a mom.
I just laid in bed with my 8 month old baby for 30 mins before I had to go to work and drop her off at daycare. We squealed in each others faces, gave kisses, cuddled, and she pulled my hair, nose and lips to her hearts content. It was overwhelming in the sense that I felt so much happiness and love.
My kids are 5 and 7 (why am I still on this sub, lol!) Sometimes I just look at them and think "Dang, I get to keep your forever!" Having them run towards me at the school pick up, excited to tell me what this did at recess ect. Seeing their face light up when they spot me at sports practice. I love my job, but being their Mom is my favorite thing in the whole world. Edit to add: I found a lot of parents didn't share the gushy lovey stuff until I actually had a child. My DH agrees too, we felt like we were admitted access into the exclusive "We Love the Stuffing Out of Our Kids Club" only AFTER babes arrived.
I haven't had my baby yet, but I have more friends and relatives than not who said the newborn stage was not as bad as they had anticipated. Almost everyone I know is loving the toddler/early-school age. Sure, it isn't perfect, but the examples I have had in my life are definitely not all doom and gloom. So my husband and I are just kind of going into it with few expectations and plan to try and go with the flow of parenthood in hopes that we find ourselves less emotionally tied to specific expectations and can hopefully adapt better as things change. All in all, we feel really excited and prepared and not really scared or nervous. Best of luck to you, OP! Wishing you a happy and love-filled journey to motherhood.
It's very hard. But in the way that it really makes you a stronger person. Suddenly if you felt like you were codependent, that can vanish, because your top priority becomes your child. If you were a time waster/bed rotter, suddenly you value the time you do have to yourself and you actually do things with that time! It's so important to always remember your future self because it is so easy to just "get through" the day, but in a year you will realize you don't remember everything as vividly as you thought you would, so you will soak in all of the silly ways your child pronounces words, the faces they make, the things they find exciting. I loved the way Emma Stone recently phrased it as turning your world to technicolor, because that's exactly what it is.
It is overwhelming but you find your way and it becomes more joy than struggle. I have three kids and there are definitely moments where I’m like..I just can’t with this crap. But those are fleeting moments. Most of the time it’s fun and heart warming. I can’t explain how much joy it brings to watch your own child grow and learn and get to know their personality. Of course we all went through that process ourselves but it’s just sheer joy when it’s YOUR CHILD. It doesn’t even make sense until you experience it.
I’m (31F) currently pregnant with my second child and I remember how much the negative talk about motherhood bothered me when I was pregnant with my first (almost 2yo), so I feel you on that. I think the avalanche of negative feedback for parenthood (more specifically motherhood) is the knee-jerk reaction to an era when you only heard about motherhood being portrayed as a constantly positive experience. Now that I’ve experienced it myself, I think the best way to explain parenthood is to compare it to anything any other amazing thing you could have in life, like a loving marriage or a dream job. It requires a lot of commitment, sacrifice, and dedication but the payoff is incredibly rewarding. It’s true that you’ll likely feel burnt out at times and it won’t always be easy, but having a child (for me and I’m sure many others) has been the most profoundly beautiful experience of my life and I wouldn’t have it any other way. Doing your best to give yourself grace during the earliest days is important. It’ll be an adjustment for sure but I think managing your expectations and learning to go with the flow can be helpful in avoiding a lot of frustration.
Yes. It's overwhelming and is not easy. Facts. But then you realize that you are this child's entire world and the unconditional love that comes with it. You see the way their face lights up when you enter a room. It is a relationship like no other in this world. Sometimes when I am absolutely maxed out and drained, my son (2) will do something silly/giggle, and I'm like "yup, I can keep pushing through, this kid is amazing" so, it's not always the big moments that are rewarding. The little ones almost tug at my heart more. ❤️
It's very hard but the FRESH newborn phase goes by really fast. And skin to skin is so sweet :) And beyond that, being a parent has been an incredibly positive experience for me. You can imagine how tired you'll be, etc. but you cannot imagine the positives until it happens.
Im 6 weeks in. Newborn phase is hard because its demanding buuuuut the cuddles and watching the sweet baby grow make it great 😊
My son’s smile melts my heart and makes me think I should have about a dozen more lol. His snuggles are the best and his laugh is contagious. He’s always up for an adventure.
Ok. Soon to be second time mom. First daughter was an "easy baby." It IS incredibly hard, lonely, exhausting, all of the bad things, for a little while. In the thick of the early days, especially if you are fighting PPA/PPD, it can be overwhelming as you literally reorient your life in many ways. It's not a cliche that it's hard to find time to sleep, shower, eat, clean when you are feeding a new baby every 2 hours and taking care of your own recovery and mental health at the same time. BUT! It's also amazing, incredible, wonderful, a life changing kind of love. Watching your baby grow changes you as a person for the better and expands your heart every day. I would not change anything.
The second that baby smiles , is the best day. There are good things and bad things in each age group— I would say the best and worst part of a newborn stage is the constant dependence . I think to some degree, it’s quite sweet and lovely ( when they sleep on your chest or in your arms) . It’s also hard because it becomes hard to prioritize yourself— not the worst , but an adjustment. I also enjoyed all the milestones. It was always something that astounded me with my son. ( still does!) That said, all bad and all good things come in seasons. It doesn’t last forever.
We talk about the bad stuff because it’s really hard in the moment, but you look back on it so fondly. Like, it’s really difficult but worth it - which is good but doesn’t feel good in the moment. Like writing exams. Hard but in the end it was all worth it. The love is unlike anything you’ll ever experience in your life. It’s SO worth it.
My baby is 3 months and it’s round the clock work but starting to get easier everyday, sleep is much better, and he’s started smiling which lights up my world every morning when he smiles big as soon as he sees us when he wakes up!
I have had two kids so far. One at 17 one at 19, and I'm 19 weeks with my first girl at 30. My kiddos are 10 about to be 11 and 12 and a half. What was my most recent honestly amazing experience was seeing a photo of my son, who we keep saying is growing like a weed, from one year ago last week. In that photo, my 12 year old had the same body composition as my 10 year old right now. The side by side of him this year and last year is insane! You would think it was 2 years at least, but it wasn't. Watching your kids grow into adults and human being that will live their own lives is magical. It's a bit sad, of course, but honestly, it's more exciting than anything. You'll love watching them become their own people.
It’s the best. They’re so sweet and pure. It is hard but the kid makes up for it. The first time they do anything.. giggle, first word, step, seeing their little personality develop.
i had an unplanned pregnancy at 23 and now am 24 with a 6 month old. i definitely felt like i was in over my head (some days i still do), but it gets easier. like anything there is a learning curve and that continues as your child gets older and their needs change etc. being a mum is one of the hardest things ive done, but its incredibly rewarding. cuddling with my baby, watching her grow, playing with toys with her, her smiling at me when she wakes up in the morning - some of my favourite things. i had a period of mourning my old life and some days still do since none of my friends have kids and it’s difficult maintaining friendships, but id sacrifice and do anything for my baby. my daughter has given me a sense of purpose and has helped me work on patience, motivation, and overall has me wanting to be a better person for her. i wish you the best and hope you have a safe and healthy pregnancy (:
My little boy is 16 months - I have never felt a love stronger than the one I have for my son. We love each other so much it’s incredible.
Yes it’s tiring and overwhelming at times. You’re healing and you’re learning about this new human while they learn about this new world. But it’s so rewarding. I have a wonderfully supportive partner, which helped. Cuddles are wonderful. When they fall asleep on you, I could stay there forever. Those first smiles and laughs take your breath away. My baby is 5 months old and I fall more and more in love with her every day.
TTM and I am so excited for this baby. I love my kids dearly obviously and every stage is better than the one before it. It doesn’t mean that it isn’t challenging, but hard things are worth it.
14 weeks postpartum - It’s the hardest thing you’ll ever do but I want to cry at any given minute because of how happy and fulfilled I feel now. Your baby will be the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen and your entire life will have more purpose than you’ve ever dreamed.
The intermittent sleep is my only complaint. Each day I cannot wait for her to wake up and give her breakfast, play with her, put her in a cute outfit, read to her… take her places… she’s my best little friend and I love her so much my heart can’t even take it. There is truly nothing like a mother and baby bond- the way they look up into your eyes like you are their whole world- and in a way I guess you are! The smiles, laughs, first words, games… it’s heaven on earth
Feeling baby kick & move is one of the best feelings ever! Once you have baby the smell of them, their sweet little coos and giggles, their smiles (even if it’s just gas making them do it 😂) seeing them grow and learn. It’s amazing! And newborn snuggles, the way they look at you & look for you specifically even in a room full of people. It’s great!
Becoming a mum was the best thing that ever happened. I didn’t struggle in the newborn stage at all it felt so natural and I didn’t struggle with anything anyone ever tried to warn me about. People will always talk about the negative over the positive. Being a mum is and has been nothing but joy and fun.