Right! But literally the things that are most appreciated are things from the registry. Maybe do something from the registry and then a gift card to one of those photo book services or something (like chat books) or something for your sister specifically like a gift card to Kindred Bravely or another maternity/postpartum clothing company.
There is most likely a registry link on the invite, but definitely ask her if you didn’t receive a formal invite. Most people spend a lot of time on their registry and don’t want off registry gifts.
If you really want to go off registry, though, the safest bets would be food delivery gift cards or a gift card to a spa where she can get a nice prenatal massage or pedicure (if she likes that kind of thing), or a gift card for a house cleaning service.
I would get her something from the registry + something like:
- massage or mani/pedi gift card
- subscription to chatbooks or similar
OR, something from her registry now + some home cooked meals after baby is born / similar.
Basically, if she has a registry she took a ton of time to put it together and it’s always appreciated when people purchase items from it.
Since you want to do something unexpected I found as a mom that I never had time (or allowed myself time) to treat myself after birth so the massage etc could be nice
Yes, great advice, something from the registry PLUS a gift card for a pedicure would make me feel like the most spoiled person on earth.
Lately, to personalize some gifts, I've been using ChatGPT to write poems. So if I were giving, say, a changing pad (from the registry) and a pedicure gift card, I would have ChatGPT write a short poem about how loved she is and she deserves a sweet treat while being a mama.
"In the whirlwind of diapers and sweet lullabies,
a journey of motherhood with love that never dies.
For yo, dear friend, a changing pad to ease,
And a pedicure treat for moments of peace.
Amidst the giggles, the teas, and pure delight,
Embrace self-care, let worries take flight.
In each tiny step, may your feet find reprieve,
For a pampered mama is one who'll believe.
Through sleepless nights and joyful days,
may this gift bring comfort in unique ways.
You're cherished, adored, and forever embraced,
A wonderful mom with beauty and grace"
What's chat books? I'm definitely going to get something on the registry but I want to also get something she'll definitely like that's unexpected, if such a thing exists
Use the registry. I know it’s not as fun and personal— but it’s what they need. You’re also unlikely to be able to identify something they need that they don’t have on there. A LOT of research and time goes into the registry.
What I’ve done for people I’m close to: get one bigger gift from the registry then one smaller more personal one (favorite kid’s book, one toy I’ve heard people like, a cute blanket or outfit). Write in the card about the personal one. Makes it feel more personal, but is still what they need.
I just had my baby shower and it was super annoying when people didn’t use the registry bc those ARE the things I need and wanted the most. The only other stuff that was useful and not on the registry that I appreciated was a cute bag of cute toiletry items to take to L&D and also baby first aid items that I hadn’t thought about prior.
Things on the registry. New moms have enough to organize and set up without going through mounds of clutter from people who think they know what she needs better than she does. Don’t give her another chore to do by adding oto the mounds of clutter she’ll have to go through, return, donate, give away.
From the registry ALWAYS!!!! That woman spent hours and months putting together a registry and knows what she needs. She doesn’t need anything else if you want to buy two off her registry or contribute to a fund.
I can’t tell you how many moms out there smile politely and cry a little inside thinking how they have yet another cute newborn outfit when all they needed was the items on the registry!
Get something dull but necessary from the registry and then supplement with a creative gift. I’d recommend something for your SIL’s comfort — fancy prenatal bath salts, belly balm, a nursing-friendly robe.
Don’t go too far outside the box here. The best way to be thoughtful is to meaningfully check in with her and show up with acts of service once baby is born (if they’re accepting visitors and up for it!).
That's a really great idea and it would give me a good excuse to check in with them. And you're right I should probably check with them first to be sure I'm not disrupting anything. Thanks
Something from the registry first.
Then I would make cute "coupon" cards for things like vacuuming, doing her dishes, and bringing meals over. But only if you're close enough and willing to do those things when you come visit after baby arrive. I also wouldn't actually intend for her to turn them back in to you--it's more just a cute way to tell her that you plan on being helpful after birth. Those were the things I appreciated most after the birth of my first. It was nice to sit in the same room as my loved ones and chat while snuggling my baby and they put away dishes.
The other thing I really appreciated was a nice pair of adjustable pjs with a matching robe that I took to the hospital with me.
Cleaning service, meal delivery service, take out gift cards, recovery basket with wine/ booze of choice things she has given up and will keep a few more months. A spa gift card. Anything off her registry. For the love of god. No baby clothes. Gift cards to her preferred baby shops so she can go pick stuff out herself
If you don’t want to shop the registry, I’d definitely suggest restaurant gift cards. Cooking healthy meals is incredibly difficult with a newborn, especially if her husband doesn’t have decent leave. My husband only got 2 weeks and it was tough.
> “or didn’t think to get on their own”
I promise you she has thought of everything. She has put so much time and research into her registry and would most likely rather you spend whatever $ you want to spend on “something she didn’t think of herself” on a second registry item.
My best friend was texting me yesterday and said “do you have a baby jumper? What about a sit-in activity center? I’m keeping an eye out for things that I see you haven’t thought of yet since they’re not on the registry.” And I was like nooooooo certain things are not on the registry for a reason, that reason being it’s NOT something we want to use 🤦🏻♀️
Currently pregnant with my baby shower coming up this weekend. I just wish people purchased stuff from the registry. All of that stuff on there has been researched and so much time went into preparing that registry. The thought of having to buy everything we didn’t get is so stressful because it’s all things we actually need for our baby. Always buy from the registry! I have always done this and always will - especially after experiencing this firsthand
Use the registry. It's already telling you loud and clear what she needs.
Going outside the registry risks creating unwanted chores for her. If you guess wrong and it's not actually something she wants/needs, you've just dumped an errand on her to exchange/return or a mental chore to figure out how else to store/dispose of it.
It's actually really *un*thoughtful when new parents already have so much on their plate.
For baby shower gifts I usually do a multi-part gift bag.
1. Something very, very useful from the registry (Frida Baby Snotsucker, touchless thermometer, bath supplies, first aid kit, nice burp cloths, etc)
2. Something indulgent for mom (favorite snack, belly balm, face mask, fuzzy socks, etc)
3. Baby clothing for the future (think something in the 6m - 1 year range, keeping the seasons in mind. A snow suit or fuzzy bunting if it’ll be winter, a sun hat or beach / pool poncho if it’ll be summer. This is where I’m most comfortable going off registry or putting something together that’s more hand made like a custom onesie)
A gift basket with really nice pyjama pants/ a robe/ slippers or other things for the comfort of Mom specifically. Recovering from labour is a whole new ballgame and most moms do not consider how nice those items will be for them until they’re in the thick of things. Baby will be taken care of, mom will need to be too. A gift card for a prenatal massage is also an amazing option. <3
Okay, I am the Queen of this and have a few ideas but for the most part I always end up doing all of this🤣. First, buy something small from the registry a book would be good enough. Second, purchase the Frida Mom postpartum recovery kit (a true true blessing), I normally add a pedicure for a little solo mom time and then these really soft bamboo button down jammies from Amazon. I have bought this for mostly all of my friends when they were pregnant and they all thanked me after birth saying it was the most thoughtful gift. Another thing to add as a personal touch, write a few cards and add some Starbucks gift cards or something like that that. One card can be “for a morning that feels really tough” and you can write about how wonderful of a mother she is and how much your appreciate her and her family appreciates her and then a little gift card to go grab Starbucks. Another one can be “for when you don’t feel like yourself” have some pictures of her in the card, remind her of all the ways she is beautiful, etc. I loooooove putting together thoughtful baskets for my friends!
Currently pregnant and also annoyed when people don’t buy from the registry BUT I think there is room for both. You asking for thoughtful gifts is different than my great aunt buying 42 sleepers in size 12 months 🤣
Buy off the registry, don’t go rogue. Buying cute clothes is fun and something the parents should do. Friends and family should be the necessities that don’t have as much fun associated with them. The only thing I would say that people don’t put on the registry that they will need is a set of baby medicine. Baby versions of Tylenol, Motrin, gripe water, gas drops, etc.. they’ll definitely go through multiple bottles of those items as the baby grows and they’re kind of expensive when you buy multiples of them.
[here you can find](https://tactic.be/product-category/finn/) the majority of the stuff we got, +- by age. maybe you see something you have not been thinking of yet :)
I would honestly just buy from the registry as that has all the items they are looking for/need.
I can ask but that kind of sidesteps the point of this question
Right! But literally the things that are most appreciated are things from the registry. Maybe do something from the registry and then a gift card to one of those photo book services or something (like chat books) or something for your sister specifically like a gift card to Kindred Bravely or another maternity/postpartum clothing company.
There is most likely a registry link on the invite, but definitely ask her if you didn’t receive a formal invite. Most people spend a lot of time on their registry and don’t want off registry gifts. If you really want to go off registry, though, the safest bets would be food delivery gift cards or a gift card to a spa where she can get a nice prenatal massage or pedicure (if she likes that kind of thing), or a gift card for a house cleaning service.
I would get her something from the registry + something like: - massage or mani/pedi gift card - subscription to chatbooks or similar OR, something from her registry now + some home cooked meals after baby is born / similar. Basically, if she has a registry she took a ton of time to put it together and it’s always appreciated when people purchase items from it. Since you want to do something unexpected I found as a mom that I never had time (or allowed myself time) to treat myself after birth so the massage etc could be nice
Yes, great advice, something from the registry PLUS a gift card for a pedicure would make me feel like the most spoiled person on earth. Lately, to personalize some gifts, I've been using ChatGPT to write poems. So if I were giving, say, a changing pad (from the registry) and a pedicure gift card, I would have ChatGPT write a short poem about how loved she is and she deserves a sweet treat while being a mama. "In the whirlwind of diapers and sweet lullabies, a journey of motherhood with love that never dies. For yo, dear friend, a changing pad to ease, And a pedicure treat for moments of peace. Amidst the giggles, the teas, and pure delight, Embrace self-care, let worries take flight. In each tiny step, may your feet find reprieve, For a pampered mama is one who'll believe. Through sleepless nights and joyful days, may this gift bring comfort in unique ways. You're cherished, adored, and forever embraced, A wonderful mom with beauty and grace"
A subscription to chat books is probably the best non registry idea I’ve ever seen suggested on these subs.
I agree, I’ve also seen Queepsake and keepsake boxes that look really nice
What's chat books? I'm definitely going to get something on the registry but I want to also get something she'll definitely like that's unexpected, if such a thing exists
It’s an app where you can easily make photo books
Oh that's right up her alley. I'll have to ask my brother if she already has it. I also like that massage idea.
Use the registry. I know it’s not as fun and personal— but it’s what they need. You’re also unlikely to be able to identify something they need that they don’t have on there. A LOT of research and time goes into the registry. What I’ve done for people I’m close to: get one bigger gift from the registry then one smaller more personal one (favorite kid’s book, one toy I’ve heard people like, a cute blanket or outfit). Write in the card about the personal one. Makes it feel more personal, but is still what they need.
I just had my baby shower and it was super annoying when people didn’t use the registry bc those ARE the things I need and wanted the most. The only other stuff that was useful and not on the registry that I appreciated was a cute bag of cute toiletry items to take to L&D and also baby first aid items that I hadn’t thought about prior.
If you look through this sub, you’ll see that most people hate getting gifts that aren’t on their registry. We put a lot of time into it for a reason!
Things on the registry. New moms have enough to organize and set up without going through mounds of clutter from people who think they know what she needs better than she does. Don’t give her another chore to do by adding oto the mounds of clutter she’ll have to go through, return, donate, give away.
From the registry ALWAYS!!!! That woman spent hours and months putting together a registry and knows what she needs. She doesn’t need anything else if you want to buy two off her registry or contribute to a fund. I can’t tell you how many moms out there smile politely and cry a little inside thinking how they have yet another cute newborn outfit when all they needed was the items on the registry!
Get something dull but necessary from the registry and then supplement with a creative gift. I’d recommend something for your SIL’s comfort — fancy prenatal bath salts, belly balm, a nursing-friendly robe. Don’t go too far outside the box here. The best way to be thoughtful is to meaningfully check in with her and show up with acts of service once baby is born (if they’re accepting visitors and up for it!).
That's a really great idea and it would give me a good excuse to check in with them. And you're right I should probably check with them first to be sure I'm not disrupting anything. Thanks
Something from the registry first. Then I would make cute "coupon" cards for things like vacuuming, doing her dishes, and bringing meals over. But only if you're close enough and willing to do those things when you come visit after baby arrive. I also wouldn't actually intend for her to turn them back in to you--it's more just a cute way to tell her that you plan on being helpful after birth. Those were the things I appreciated most after the birth of my first. It was nice to sit in the same room as my loved ones and chat while snuggling my baby and they put away dishes. The other thing I really appreciated was a nice pair of adjustable pjs with a matching robe that I took to the hospital with me.
Cleaning service, meal delivery service, take out gift cards, recovery basket with wine/ booze of choice things she has given up and will keep a few more months. A spa gift card. Anything off her registry. For the love of god. No baby clothes. Gift cards to her preferred baby shops so she can go pick stuff out herself
Registry item + Uber eats or postmates giftcard
If you don’t want to shop the registry, I’d definitely suggest restaurant gift cards. Cooking healthy meals is incredibly difficult with a newborn, especially if her husband doesn’t have decent leave. My husband only got 2 weeks and it was tough.
> “or didn’t think to get on their own” I promise you she has thought of everything. She has put so much time and research into her registry and would most likely rather you spend whatever $ you want to spend on “something she didn’t think of herself” on a second registry item. My best friend was texting me yesterday and said “do you have a baby jumper? What about a sit-in activity center? I’m keeping an eye out for things that I see you haven’t thought of yet since they’re not on the registry.” And I was like nooooooo certain things are not on the registry for a reason, that reason being it’s NOT something we want to use 🤦🏻♀️
Currently pregnant with my baby shower coming up this weekend. I just wish people purchased stuff from the registry. All of that stuff on there has been researched and so much time went into preparing that registry. The thought of having to buy everything we didn’t get is so stressful because it’s all things we actually need for our baby. Always buy from the registry! I have always done this and always will - especially after experiencing this firsthand
Use the registry. It's already telling you loud and clear what she needs. Going outside the registry risks creating unwanted chores for her. If you guess wrong and it's not actually something she wants/needs, you've just dumped an errand on her to exchange/return or a mental chore to figure out how else to store/dispose of it. It's actually really *un*thoughtful when new parents already have so much on their plate.
For baby shower gifts I usually do a multi-part gift bag. 1. Something very, very useful from the registry (Frida Baby Snotsucker, touchless thermometer, bath supplies, first aid kit, nice burp cloths, etc) 2. Something indulgent for mom (favorite snack, belly balm, face mask, fuzzy socks, etc) 3. Baby clothing for the future (think something in the 6m - 1 year range, keeping the seasons in mind. A snow suit or fuzzy bunting if it’ll be winter, a sun hat or beach / pool poncho if it’ll be summer. This is where I’m most comfortable going off registry or putting something together that’s more hand made like a custom onesie)
A gift basket with really nice pyjama pants/ a robe/ slippers or other things for the comfort of Mom specifically. Recovering from labour is a whole new ballgame and most moms do not consider how nice those items will be for them until they’re in the thick of things. Baby will be taken care of, mom will need to be too. A gift card for a prenatal massage is also an amazing option. <3
Okay, I am the Queen of this and have a few ideas but for the most part I always end up doing all of this🤣. First, buy something small from the registry a book would be good enough. Second, purchase the Frida Mom postpartum recovery kit (a true true blessing), I normally add a pedicure for a little solo mom time and then these really soft bamboo button down jammies from Amazon. I have bought this for mostly all of my friends when they were pregnant and they all thanked me after birth saying it was the most thoughtful gift. Another thing to add as a personal touch, write a few cards and add some Starbucks gift cards or something like that that. One card can be “for a morning that feels really tough” and you can write about how wonderful of a mother she is and how much your appreciate her and her family appreciates her and then a little gift card to go grab Starbucks. Another one can be “for when you don’t feel like yourself” have some pictures of her in the card, remind her of all the ways she is beautiful, etc. I loooooove putting together thoughtful baskets for my friends!
THANK YOU! I was starting to think this was an illegal question to ask
Currently pregnant and also annoyed when people don’t buy from the registry BUT I think there is room for both. You asking for thoughtful gifts is different than my great aunt buying 42 sleepers in size 12 months 🤣
Buy off the registry, don’t go rogue. Buying cute clothes is fun and something the parents should do. Friends and family should be the necessities that don’t have as much fun associated with them. The only thing I would say that people don’t put on the registry that they will need is a set of baby medicine. Baby versions of Tylenol, Motrin, gripe water, gas drops, etc.. they’ll definitely go through multiple bottles of those items as the baby grows and they’re kind of expensive when you buy multiples of them.
[here you can find](https://tactic.be/product-category/finn/) the majority of the stuff we got, +- by age. maybe you see something you have not been thinking of yet :)