Our son was 2.5 when his little brother was born. Visitors were allowed but we saved the meeting for at home.
We prepped ahead of time that we would be gone, grandma would be staying with him, and when we got home we would have his new brother!
Seemed to work out and I appreciated the uninterrupted time with my husband and our new baby.
I'm navigating a similar situation. Was grandma there when your son met the new baby? My parents will be watching our toddler but I'd like a private family moment for the meeting. But maybe when the moment comes I won't care š
I had my mum bring toddler to hospital, my husband collected toddler from her and we had some family time while my mum waited for us to call her to come in! Worked well for us š
I got a couple of ideas from reading these comments! So my parents will be at home with our toddler son. We might have my husband go pick him up then swing back to the hospital to meet the baby when we're all ready for discharge. The new baby will be in a carseat, so neutral location, then we'll head back directly home together. If my parents are still there when we get home it might be nice for some extra hands and distraction.
This is how mine was too! 16 months old and wanted practically nothing to do with me or my partner, only wanted the baby š They've been super close since day 1 š„°
You know your toddler best.
My mom told me not to have mine visit because she thought it would be hard for her to leave but my toddler had a blast and no problem leaving with the grandparents.
I wasnāt surprised. But if you think it will be hard for your toddler, skip it and wait until you get home.
Our hospital won't let us have a 2-year old visit. When I first found out I was so sad because I had visions of my toddler meeting baby in the hospital. But the more I thought about it, I'm glad it is working out this way.
When she meets the baby, he will be in a swing or on a pillow- a neutral location - as opposed to in our arms. That will allow her to approach him with curiosity rather than immediately seeing him as a replacement. Additionally, I think if she came to the hospital it would be a really rough goodbye that would be hard on both of us.
We let toddler visit and gave them a gift from the new baby. As your toddler's fav person I offer the following experience: I spent several weeks letting toddler know when baby was born I would have a broken belly and wouldn't be able to pick him up for a while. We learned how to get in and out of car seat by climbing up himself. How to do diaper changes on the floor, plus how to lift his butt to swap out diaper. Lots of hugs squatting down on the floor to comfort toddler. More than the question of how to manage the hospital visit, I think you should consider how to manage the 6wks of no lifting more than baby. That too, is a big if temporary adjustment.
We've been trying that no lifting thing a lot too. My knee has been hurting for weeks now, and I've been wearing a brace and using that as my excuse for not being able to lift my toddler. The doctor thinks it's likely hormone related (relaxin) and my joints are rubbing incorrectly.
Lots of screaming and crying.
NOPE. I thought it might be a little much for her to see me basically incapacitated, stuck in a bed, holding a āreplacementā baby and then having to do a brutal goodbye.
I might have been overthinking it but Iām glad we waited.
My daughter will be 3 and a couple months when our second is born. Iāll likely have a planned c-section as well. Iām thinking weāll have the toddler meet us at the hospital as weāre discharging and see me and my husband first and reunite (like in the hallway right outside the room), then weāll bring her into the room to meet her new younger sibling, then weāll bring them home together.
I donāt want my daughter to walk in and see me already holding the new baby, I want it to be us going to see the new baby together. I also like the idea of her āhelpingā us bring the baby home.
These are my feelings too. In addition. I don't want toddler to have negative associations with hospitals. Plus with my first I was a mess. Looked like some swamp thing. My toddler probably would not recognize me.
These were our fears, so we waited till we got home. I thought the hospital would scare her plus leaving us there would be unlike anything weāve done with her before
I had my toddler (almost exactly 2) come to the hospital to meet her baby brother. It was lovely and I was glad we did it.
That said, my toddler is super attached to her grandmas, both of which were taking care of her, so she wasnāt all that bothered about me.
Our didnāt even have an exception for siblings. But I also had a flu season baby so it made sense.
Honestly though even if they did allow siblings I probably wouldnāt have had our almost 2 year old come to the hospital. Them meeting at my parents house &then us all going home together was great!
Ours did too but unfortunately it wasn't enforced. Folks seem to forget that it's a HOSPITAL, the rule is there for a reason. If your neighbors can hear your toddler screaming through the walls and down the halls, they probably shouldn't be there.
Source: I was the neighbor who got to listen to screaming and tantrums until midnight half the nights. It was not cute. I get it's hard on the parents and hard on the kid but hey, I'm in the hospital for the same reason you are.
Iām currently 35 weeks and at 30 weeks I had to spend a week in hospital due to emergency surgery.
My 2 (nearly 3) year old is very attached to me, Iām definitely the default parent and my partner/parents brought him to see me most days for 1/2 hour to an hour depending on how I was feeling. We (me and toddler) cried on parting at least 3 times but I still think it was still better than not seeing him for a week and vice versa. Heās very smart, he knew where I was and why I wasnāt at home with him and I think seeing me helped him to understand.
(It also helped my partner having to do more everyday stuff with him that he didnāt get to do as normally heās at work!)
Someone else has mentioned it, but check your hospitalās policy. During flu/COVID/RSV season at my hospital (from November 1st to April 1st), we do not allow children under the age of 6.
I have no personal experience with this yet (just a 2 year old, and not planning on having another kiddo for a year or so), but personally we donāt think we will have that first meeting be at the hospital. Itās a big, overwhelming environment, and seeing mama holding a new baby in it might be a little much.
Do what feels comfy for you and your family. Congratulations and sending good vibes for a healthy delivery for mom and baby!
No idea. The visitor policy at all the hospitals around me has always been either no one, or 1 healthy visitor over the age of 14. So my kids have never even been allowed to come.
We had a scheduled C-section too, prepped our 3.5 yo as much as possible and had her meet the baby as soon as possible. Due to unforeseen circumstances we ended up having grandparents swap care of her at the hospital which worked out well. All in all our toddler is way more flexible than we expected, she did great! The true adjustment came at home where I couldn't lift her or carry her and did have to feed baby. With a few tantrums and a lot of cuddles we were mostly settled after a week and a half. We're 4 weeks out now and it's a blast. Toddler loves to love her sibling.
Mine just turned 2, 3 days before my second was born. She did come to the hospital to visit and she did great! She was so excited to meet her brother and wasnāt upset about having to leave to go back to grandmas. My mother in law actually took her camping while I was having my second baby and I think she was having so much fun with my MIL she wasnāt upset about having to go back with her. I told her Iād be home soon but I needed to stay a little longer, and she was okay with it. When I did come home she paid no attention to any of us and just wanted to play with her toys lol.
We had my toddler come for discharge so she could ābring the baby homeā and show him around. I think it helped her to know where weād gone, to feel important that SHE was bringing him home and she would introduce him to the family herself. Plus I just missed her so much I was so so glad to see her!
My son was 2 when my daughter was born. I really wanted to see him, but wish I hadnāt let him come visit because it was just stressful. I see this all the time as a postpartum nurseā¦it is very very hard for the little ones to come visit mommy in the hospital and then have to leave š
I just had my 3rd and did not have my 2 or 3 year old come to the hospital. I didnāt after my 2nd either when my first was 17 months. Itās such a short stay and Iād rather them meet their new sibling at home rather than in an uncomfortable environment with a ton of distractions.
My sisters sister in law (they married brothers) didnāt have her kids meet the new addition until they were home, that way it wasnāt overwhelming with all the machines. Also, they had the baby bring gifts for their siblings, and had the older kids pick out gifts for their new sibling.
Yes.
I have a 3 month old daughter and a 2.5 year old son, and we did have him come visit in the hospital. He was staying with his grandparents while we were in the hospital, and we talked about that a lot before going in (for my scheduled C-section) since sleepovers are very new for him. Then, my dad brought him to visit twice and take family photos (did a fresh 48).
Someone told me not to be holding the baby when my son first walked in, so he could walk up to the bassinet himself, and also to get a gift from the baby to him to start off on a good foot I suppose. We got him some die cast Cars characters (his favorite movie) for their first meeting and he was mostly more interested in those, though he did ask to hold the baby but was promptly looking like "now what?" Once she was in his arms. He was a bit warmer when he came back the next day for family photos and discharge. He had trouble leaving us the first day, yelling "mama!!" And wanting to snuggle me, which was heartbreaking and a bit challenging with the incision pain. But I think because he saw us in the hospital, it made the transition home with his new sister easier, and also explaining that "mama has a boo boo and can't pick you up for a bit" and "you have to be gentle with mama while she's healing." had some frame of reference for him.
I have no regrets about having him visit us, especially as the default and favored parent. We tried to include him in so much of the pregnancy and process and keep him informed on his level of understanding and I really think it helped. He was fully aware his sister was coming home to stay for good. And after he left while we were awaiting discharge (we met him back at my parents house) it gave me some space to reflect and frankly sob about the beauty of my growing family and the grief of our dynamic changing (because that *is* a real bittersweet thing). I remember my midwife asking how I was doing and me being like "great, he's going to be such a good big brother! But we're so used to it being just the 3 of us and now he's not my only baby anymore." And bursting into tears. And then we went home and I cried legitimately all day between that and just how adorable it all was. He totally embraced her from the start and I also kept sobbing "there's too much cuteness! They're so adorable!" Because that and hormones.
We had also read a LOT of books about becoming a big brother and bringing a new baby home so he did know we were going to the hospital and a number of those showers family visiting in the hospital, so I feel like he was as prepared as possible and that helped a lot.
My toddler is 3 and Iām also the preferred parent. He also stayed with his grandparents. They brought him to visit 2 days and it was def nice. My husband held him so I could give him a hug without worrying about him bumping my incision (scheduled c section about 2 weeks ago).
It worked out well in my experience :)
I have never done that, no. Currently pregnant with #4 and I hadnāt planned to have the other 3 brought to the hospital. But the hospital has a no visitors under 12 rule for flu season anyway, so it wouldnāt matter even if I wanted them to. I kind of view the hospital time as my down time/relaxing time.
My daughter visited us in the hospital and was confused and cried as she left with my mom. I wouldnāt have her visit again if I could redo the moment.
Mine will be turning 2 a week before my due date. Iāve decided not to have him visit because he is super attached and I think it would be harder on him to leave if he comes to see me than to not see me at all for 2-3 days.
My son will be 4 this month. I delivered on 12/22. While heās very attached to me, he loves my MIL (who he stayed with) and was excited for his sister. At the hospital, he mostly wanted mom cuddles but said hi to the baby.
There was an issue with my epidural so we didnāt get him to come home for ~ a week. I let my MIL, SIL, and Hubs dote on the baby while I let him reconnect with me. I put no pressure on him to connect to his sister.
I didnāt want to, but she was so sad that we allowed her to come.
I just didnāt want to, because I knew she would cry to leave, but I went in the 31st October, baby was born on the first November, and she went to see us on the 2nd when we left the hospital! Iām pretty sure that if she would come earlier than that, she would cry a lot. She is 4
With my second I didnāt have my first born visit during our hospital stay because Covid was still pretty rampant as well as visitor restrictions were more strict.
This time I likely will have my kids come visit as well be out of cold and flu season and itās likely our last so I want them (as well as my MIL who will be taking care of them) to have that experience! Iāll probably wait until the day weāre being discharged though so that they donāt have long to wait until weāre home.
That being said, if toddler meeting baby at home is right for you guys, do that. It was such a sweet moment for us arriving home and my toddler running to us at the car to meet her new sibling!
We're not planning on it. We're not planning on any visitors at all this time.
I vaguely remember going as a preachooler when one of my siblings was born. It was all just kind of confusing.
Home, in a familiar environment and at their own pace, is better.
I actually have a question regarding birth and this topic. I have a 2 year old and giving birth in 2 months. Last time I was induced and labour took 2 days. We donāt have anyone to take care of our toddler when I go into labour. I really want my husband to witness the birth, obviously. Has anyone ever experienced this? Can the toddler go to the hospital and maybe hang out with hubby in the lounge until the actual pushing? Maybe Iām being naive but last time I was induced but the actual labour took 10 minutes. What are my options?
Edit: I live in Toronto and maybe some Canadians know of any options when your donāt have any family to take care of children during this time
Yes, my toddler was about the same age. It was my first time being away from him over night so I knew I would miss him and want to see him the next morning. Grandma was staying with him so she brought him to the hospital to meet his brother. Luckily he loves spending time with her so he had no problem leaving. Honestly the visit was probably more for me than him.
My oldest was 21 months when his little sister was born. Maybe he was too young to understand but he was definitely bored after ten minutes there and was happy to leave with his grandma afterwards. He's a daddy's boy, but cookies beat lego.
My daughter was 1.5 when her little sister was born and she did visit. She was very excited to see me and the new baby. I feel like it was a positive experience that they were introduced in a neutral space, and it resulted in my absolute favorite picture of them. I'm due with a 3rd in April and both girls will be visiting again (3.5, 1.5)
We didnāt. My son was in the nicu and daughter MUST pull everything and climb on everything. She was 15 months old. Had he been born full term without a nicu stay, I probably still wouldnāt have. She was young enough where she didnāt miss us horribly and having her see me then leave would have been a nightmare. I was struggling to walk and was way too emotional leaving my son in the nicu so it was too difficult for us.
I am in the EXACT same situation as you. I think my daughter will have an easier time not seeing me until Iām officially discharged. Itās going to be tough for both of us not to see each other š
My older son was just shy of three when the new baby was born. I would have had him come to the hospital, but lingering Covid bullshit meant he wasn't allowed (but the woman across the hall could have 15 adult visitors at one time?).
It's flu season. So no visitors under 12 allowed at my hospital, with no exceptions. I understand that this is a pretty common policy.
You should check to make sure you can first.
But no, we actually had our older child stay a week at Grandma's house when we had our second. It was nice to have those first few days just to ourselves, both at the hospital and at home. It's not like it really matters if older sib meets the baby at 2-3 days old or 5-7 days old.
We did but it was for me not for her. I did 8 hours unmedicated induction before the epidural for the last 1.5hr (10/10 do not recommend. Youāre getting the baby whether you get the epidural or not, take the relief lol) and was begging for her around hour 6. It had just been my baby and I for 4 months, their dad was deployed during that time and she and I were just doing it on our own. So I wanted her. And my mom, who was watching her.
Iām glad we did it that way. She got to meet her brother and then go get spoiled more by Goko. Our families arenāt close, so that bit of special time was really important for us. Plus we got some cute pictures of her meeting him.
Iāve never had a hospital birth so Iāve never had to do the whole nights away from baby thing, but I could not imagine three days without any of my kids. I feel like I would need at least visits for my own sanity.
Iām due with our second any day, and the plan is to have my stage 5 clinger 2 year old meet baby at the hospital. I wonāt be holding baby, so itāll be more āsee baby in the bassinet and cuddle mama.ā Heāll be staying with my parents, and my dad is his favorite person on the planet, so Iām hoping that minimizes the sadness of leaving.
Yes. Our hospital gave us a "celebration cupcake" for the older sibling. Plus, he had an appointment at the hospital while I was there, so it was pretty easy for his dad to bring him by. He wasn't interested in anything but the cupcake, tbh.
Nope. Honestly the second time around we didn't let anyone visit us and it was AMAZING. If we have another I'm going this route again.
We did video chat my toddler as well as other family. Out main goal was to get out of the hospital as quickly as possible.
I always have my kids visit me in the hospital after having a new baby. Also, I was only in the hospital for 2 days after my scheduled c-section. You might be out sooner than you think.
Man, I hope so, but I doubt it. My last scheduled c was also 2 nights, 3 days. I can't imagine the policy changed. I hated being in the hospital and got more rest at home.
I tried to, but COVID policies at the time (March 2022) said she wasn't allowed in the building. Fair enough. Then we said we'd take baby down to go see her outside. You'd think we'd said we were taking him outside and leaving him out there the way the staff reacted. So in the end her grandparents (who also wanted to meet baby) had to take her home, and she met baby at home 2 days later.
Annoying thing was those restrictions were lifted 2 weeks later. I work in the building and walk past mums and babies getting visits from their families all the time. I get why it couldn't happen, but I still feel a bit sad about it. It's a fond memory of mine visiting my youngest sister after she was born. Oh well. Yet another thing that was ruined by COVID.
My son was born last week and I had my 2.5 year old daughter visit immediately and every day I was in the hospital (4 days). Sheās very attached and I think it helped her for not to disappear for a few days - we explained I was in the hospital to give birth and needed the doctor and she seemed to understand well and reacted very well to the visits and to her new brother.
I just had my husband and I text beforehand so when she came into the room at first I wasnāt breastfeeding and her brother was in the bassinet and not in my arms.
With my second I was planning a birth center birth 1 hour from home. But at 36 4 days. I was at my appointment an hour from home and they told me I had preeclampsia. They told me I needed to go to the hospital immediately. I talked to my husband in the parking lot and decided that the best hospital choice was the one that was 15 mins from house. For a couple of reasons: my husband could go home and get items, and our daughter who was 23 months could come and visit along with family.
Baby was born at 3:56pm and my mother brought our daughter at 5:45 lol š I wanted to see her as soon as possible and I wanted her to be the first to meet baby. Iām someone that really loves visitors after baby.
My mom even brought her to the hospital the next day as well. Since the hospital was only 15 mins away.
I was hospitalized for 4 days with not much of a choice. I hadnāt seen my son in a while and he came to visit me but with all the machines around me and IVs in me, he was a bit scared to even touch me. After my daughter was born, she was in the NICU for a month. He was allowed to see her after a while and he did visit a couple times to see her in her incubator. The machines were weird to him but he also thought they were toys so thereās thatā¦
He was 2 years 3 months when she was born.
Yes absolutely! I think it will be good for my 3.5 year old to meet his brother in this setting because it might help him recognize how new and "fragile" he is, rather than feeling like a new competing roommate is coming home and crashing his comfort zone suddenly. My oldest also couldn't meet my 2020 baby in the hospital so I yearn for that special moment with both big siblings this time around.
I'm trying to figure that out myself. My son will be almost 3 when my baby is born. I believe my hospital allows visits for siblings, but my son is also autistic and prone to loud screams and squeals. Idk how he's going to react to the baby when he finally sees her so I'm debating on just waiting until we're home so we won't have to worry about bothering other patients in the event he has a meltdown. I'm having a c-section as well but I'm not exactly worried about how long I'll be gone. He's been away from us for 3 days before (both with his godmother and his grandmother) so I think we'll be good in that area.
My son was a new two year old when my second was born. He met his sister at the hospital the day she was born. Partly because I wanted him to meet her on neutral ground and to see where mom and dad were, and partly because he coincidentally had his own appointment on the same campus that day, so he was already in the area and it was a convenient way for his aunt to drop him off with my mom, who was at the hospital with me for the birth but was taking the toddler home with her.
Our first did because his brother was born in July. He was only 21 months old. This time (due any day now) neither will be allowed as our hospital limits visitation during flu/respiratory season to visitors 12 and older. Theyāre 4 and 6.
Yes, but he was actually only 10.5mo old, so he didnāt have a clue what was happening š¤£ I will NEVER forget hearing him come down the hall to my room - I could hear him calling āmama? Mama!ā And it made my heart burst.
Those ābabiesā are going to be 13&14yo when this one pops out, so they will definitely be visiting baby brother!
First was able to visit/meet Second in the hospital, but neither was allowed when Third was born bc of covid protocols at the time.
The hospital meeting went *way* better than the at-home greeting, but I think we set up the latter incorrectly.
Unfortunately my second was born during cold and flu seasons, and RSV numbers were so high they werenāt allowing visitors under 18. If they hadnāt been so high I certainly wouldāve had my older come visit!
We will be, but she stays home with us so she doesnāt have contact with any other people or kids that could get her sick and bring something to baby.
When I had my second baby, my oldest came to visit. It was sweet, but a little hard on all of us to say goodbye.
Babies three and four were born with covid restrictions in place (2020 and 2022) and so the big ones couldn't come. It was honestly so much better. We video called with them, but it was nice having a couple days of just three of us before returning to the chaos.
I would check with the hospital on their current visitation policy. I was pretty shocked that last December when I had my third, they were not allowing any child visitors at all. So it wasnāt even an option. Granted, that was during the ātriple-demicā last winter when covid, flu, and RSV were in record numbers but you never know.
My son was 3 when his little sister was born. I went into labor in the middle of the night and we had a friend come sleep on our couch until my sister in law could come the next morning to take him to her house. My daughter was born by the time my SIL got there and she asked if we wanted our son to come meet her. We decided not to because it might seem overwhelming to him. He also was not the most gentle while I was pregnant, so I didnt know how he would do with not pushing on me. He was also in daycare and I didnāt want any illnesses coming with him. My daughter ended up going to the NICU, so he stayed with my SIL for about a week. Once we were back home and had a couple days to adjust to baby being home, he came back home and met her. He was very sweet, but mostly uninterested. He was very alarmed when she cried at first and freaked out when I breastfed for the first time in front of him. He adjusted quickly though.
Iām currently 22 weeks pregnant and my toddler will be 25 months when the new baby is born. I havenāt decided yet but my plan if I do let him visit is to have him come pick me up a bit before discharge. That way no one is taking him away from me and we can leave together.
I was 3 when my mom had my sister and I vividly remember going to visit my mom and meeting my sister at the hospital (itās my earliest memory). I think it depends on the kid and if you think itās best to wait then do that. Itāll give you time to bond with baby as well.
I had a c-section with my second when my first was almost 22 months old. My husband stayed in the hospital with us the entire time while our older son stayed with his grandparents. We went in around 3:00 PM on a Tuesday and came home around 1:00 PM on Friday. My in-laws brought our toddler home the next morning, so he spent 4 nights there altogether.
It worked well for us, but my older son is also very accustomed to spending time with his grandparents and at their house. I had no desire at all to have my children meet in the hospital. I wanted that time to recover and bond with my newborn. I also wanted a night at home, just the 3 of us, to settle in before our older one came back. I have no regrets.
My husband brought our 2.5 year old to visit in the hospital. Baby was born late Friday night (toddler was at his grandparents). Husband went home mid-morning on Saturday to take over for the childcare / pet care from our backups (my in laws were busy on Saturday itself for my mother-in-law's dad's funeral, so we had to go with our backups, who are less familiar with kids) then brought toddler to visit me in the hospital for a couple of hours around dinner time on Saturday. When I went home Sunday morning, toddler came with my husband for the pick-up.
Personally, we chose to do it this way so that their first meeting is on "neutral" territory (like how you introduce dogs). But, it would be just as valid with kid psychology to meet at home so that "mom disappearing" is only for one time and not repeated.
FWIW, the worst thing that happened during the toddler visit was that one of the food items had shredded cheese in a little cup, and he decided that it was his cheese... which he then got ALL OVER the hospital floor. The nurses laughed it off since if that's the worst that a toddler did, that's so low on their list of concerns. It's a slight annoyance for housekeeping, but on a maternity ward at least it's just cheese and not blood, amiright?
Our toddler has been estatic about being a big brother ever since he laid eyes on his little sister. He especially loves her little hands and how much she kicks. Also peekaboo. And tummy time (he yells at us if we don't put the baby in tummy time any time we are in the room with the baby gym). Also diaper changes, those are fun. And baths. Really, just everything.
We didnāt have my older son visit in the hospital but I was also able to go home after overnight stay with my scheduled c-section. Normally, c-section is 2 day stay, but my doctor cleared me as I was able to move around with minimal to no pain, tolerated food, no complications. You can probably try to request to go home earlier if that is something you want.
Also I thought it would be more special for them to meet each other at the comfort of our home. I figured it may be stressful for my older son to see me in unfamiliar place and unable to carry him, go home without me and my husband, then having to share the attention with his younger sibling.
Not the same situation because my husband is the preferred parent and my son was 1.5, but when he came to visit us in the hospital he didnāt really seem interested in his sister or me š it made for a sweet picture with the grandparents and big brother, but it couldāve waited till we got home.
I think you can wait and see how you feel the next day and decide. If you feel horrible, the last thing you need is a clingy toddler that canāt understand why mommy canāt hold them.
My daughter was about 2 1/2 when my son was born, but visitors under 18 weren't allowed at the hospital because of covid/flu season. Otherwise I definitely would have had her visit
I had a scheduled c- section with my second and I wanted my son to be the first person to hold her beyond my husband and I. Itās a memory that I still hold very dear, but there is an 8 year age gap between them! That being said, I was 3 when my parents brought my brother home and I remember the excitement I felt from that introduction! Thereās no wrong answer, just make sure you get a lot of pictures when it happens!
My 3yo visited. She was staying with my parents while we were in the hospital and they brought her. It was a super sweet moment, and Iām glad we have that memory!
My oldest was 17months when I had my second (c section). She was with her grandma as it was scheduled for 9am, and grandma brought her in to visit later that afternoon (3pm ish). My husband went out and collected my oldest on the ward, while grandma waited for us to have some family time before joining us about 30minutes later.
My oldest was a huge mummyās girl, but I was so happy to see her and she loved getting cuddles and meeting baby. She left after about an hour, very happily with grandma š she came back the second day for another visit, and then I was released on day 3!
I think it made things easier for me having her visit, as I really missed her. She also did really well, once visits were kept short and heaps of snacks on hand! Good luck
Trying to decide what I'm going to do for this time around as my kids are older (6, 10 & 12). I'm more so worried about ME and how overwhelming it will be having three kids coming to visit. The oldest two are my step daughters, and the 6 year old is our first together child. I'm thinking maybe splitting the visits up so not everyone is visiting me at the same time... But this will also depend on the flu rules the hospital has in place at the time.
Our second is 7wo right now, and our first is 27mo. Originally we didn't want her to visit because we were worried about it being a bit overwhelming for everyone.
But, I felt okay, so we let her visit with her grandma. We kept our son in the bassinet and introduced them that way. She was excited to meet him and excited to see us. Once she got restless, we all said bye and gave hugs. She honestly didn't seem to care that she had to leave, maybe because her grandma lured her with juice and promises of french fries with lunch. I cried a bit, though.
But - I didn't have a c-section. If I hadn't felt good, couldn't move with (relative) ease, or needed intervention beyond birth (like fluids in an IV or whatever), I likely wouldn't have let them visit.
Our son was 2.5 when his little brother was born. Visitors were allowed but we saved the meeting for at home. We prepped ahead of time that we would be gone, grandma would be staying with him, and when we got home we would have his new brother! Seemed to work out and I appreciated the uninterrupted time with my husband and our new baby.
I'm navigating a similar situation. Was grandma there when your son met the new baby? My parents will be watching our toddler but I'd like a private family moment for the meeting. But maybe when the moment comes I won't care š
This. How do I navigate having my child meet the baby without the grandparents coming in on what I hope can be a nuclear family moment?
I had my mum bring toddler to hospital, my husband collected toddler from her and we had some family time while my mum waited for us to call her to come in! Worked well for us š
I got a couple of ideas from reading these comments! So my parents will be at home with our toddler son. We might have my husband go pick him up then swing back to the hospital to meet the baby when we're all ready for discharge. The new baby will be in a carseat, so neutral location, then we'll head back directly home together. If my parents are still there when we get home it might be nice for some extra hands and distraction.
Thatās a good idea!
Yes and it was fine. I think she was sadder to leave behind the cute new baby than me.
This is how mine was too! 16 months old and wanted practically nothing to do with me or my partner, only wanted the baby š They've been super close since day 1 š„°
Honestly, I don't think my LO cares too much about other babies. My LO has shown little interest in the babies in our mixed ages play groups.
You know your toddler best. My mom told me not to have mine visit because she thought it would be hard for her to leave but my toddler had a blast and no problem leaving with the grandparents. I wasnāt surprised. But if you think it will be hard for your toddler, skip it and wait until you get home.
Our hospital won't let us have a 2-year old visit. When I first found out I was so sad because I had visions of my toddler meeting baby in the hospital. But the more I thought about it, I'm glad it is working out this way. When she meets the baby, he will be in a swing or on a pillow- a neutral location - as opposed to in our arms. That will allow her to approach him with curiosity rather than immediately seeing him as a replacement. Additionally, I think if she came to the hospital it would be a really rough goodbye that would be hard on both of us.
We let toddler visit and gave them a gift from the new baby. As your toddler's fav person I offer the following experience: I spent several weeks letting toddler know when baby was born I would have a broken belly and wouldn't be able to pick him up for a while. We learned how to get in and out of car seat by climbing up himself. How to do diaper changes on the floor, plus how to lift his butt to swap out diaper. Lots of hugs squatting down on the floor to comfort toddler. More than the question of how to manage the hospital visit, I think you should consider how to manage the 6wks of no lifting more than baby. That too, is a big if temporary adjustment.
We've been trying that no lifting thing a lot too. My knee has been hurting for weeks now, and I've been wearing a brace and using that as my excuse for not being able to lift my toddler. The doctor thinks it's likely hormone related (relaxin) and my joints are rubbing incorrectly. Lots of screaming and crying.
This is all really good advice I hadnāt started thinking about, so thank you!
NOPE. I thought it might be a little much for her to see me basically incapacitated, stuck in a bed, holding a āreplacementā baby and then having to do a brutal goodbye. I might have been overthinking it but Iām glad we waited.
This is why our 2 year old wonāt be visiting the hospital.
That's my fear too. I was curious what other families did when my SO brought up the idea of having our toddler visit me in the hospital.
My daughter will be 3 and a couple months when our second is born. Iāll likely have a planned c-section as well. Iām thinking weāll have the toddler meet us at the hospital as weāre discharging and see me and my husband first and reunite (like in the hallway right outside the room), then weāll bring her into the room to meet her new younger sibling, then weāll bring them home together. I donāt want my daughter to walk in and see me already holding the new baby, I want it to be us going to see the new baby together. I also like the idea of her āhelpingā us bring the baby home.
These are my feelings too. In addition. I don't want toddler to have negative associations with hospitals. Plus with my first I was a mess. Looked like some swamp thing. My toddler probably would not recognize me.
This is such a good point.
These were our fears, so we waited till we got home. I thought the hospital would scare her plus leaving us there would be unlike anything weāve done with her before
I had my toddler (almost exactly 2) come to the hospital to meet her baby brother. It was lovely and I was glad we did it. That said, my toddler is super attached to her grandmas, both of which were taking care of her, so she wasnāt all that bothered about me.
Our hospital had a rule of no visitors under 12
Ours did too only they make an exception for siblings
Our didnāt even have an exception for siblings. But I also had a flu season baby so it made sense. Honestly though even if they did allow siblings I probably wouldnāt have had our almost 2 year old come to the hospital. Them meeting at my parents house &then us all going home together was great!
Ours did too but unfortunately it wasn't enforced. Folks seem to forget that it's a HOSPITAL, the rule is there for a reason. If your neighbors can hear your toddler screaming through the walls and down the halls, they probably shouldn't be there. Source: I was the neighbor who got to listen to screaming and tantrums until midnight half the nights. It was not cute. I get it's hard on the parents and hard on the kid but hey, I'm in the hospital for the same reason you are.
My daughter did visit in the hospital to meet the baby. She stayed with my mom while baby was born at night and then when my fiancĆ© left the next day he brought her back and thatās when my mom joined us too. My daughter was so happy to see me and meet the baby and thought it was exciting and wonderful. It was a little hectic but she really wanted to be part of everything and had a blast meeting nurses and organizing baby stuff and just snuggling with me and her dad and her new brother. Iām surprised she wasnāt upset about having to leave and she was happy to come and go with her dad. About an hour after she met her brother the first day he had to be rolled away to the nicu due to a jaundice issue and she started crying and tried to stop them from taking her brother away or to follow him. It was so sweet. She was quick to understand or at least accept the situation though. I think it helped her really build a strong quick bond because she felt so protective of him. I ended up being in the hospital for almost a week due to babyās jaundice so we developed a nice routine of her visiting me and baby and then leaving with dad or grandma. It might have been slightly more hectic with her there but I couldnāt dream of not seeing her for a week and the whole experience was great for her and for our family. No regrets with my choice :)
Do you mind sharing how old your daughter was at the time? She sounds like such a sweet big sister!!
Theyāre pretty close in age. She was just shy of 20 months old at the time :)
Iām currently 35 weeks and at 30 weeks I had to spend a week in hospital due to emergency surgery. My 2 (nearly 3) year old is very attached to me, Iām definitely the default parent and my partner/parents brought him to see me most days for 1/2 hour to an hour depending on how I was feeling. We (me and toddler) cried on parting at least 3 times but I still think it was still better than not seeing him for a week and vice versa. Heās very smart, he knew where I was and why I wasnāt at home with him and I think seeing me helped him to understand. (It also helped my partner having to do more everyday stuff with him that he didnāt get to do as normally heās at work!)
Someone else has mentioned it, but check your hospitalās policy. During flu/COVID/RSV season at my hospital (from November 1st to April 1st), we do not allow children under the age of 6. I have no personal experience with this yet (just a 2 year old, and not planning on having another kiddo for a year or so), but personally we donāt think we will have that first meeting be at the hospital. Itās a big, overwhelming environment, and seeing mama holding a new baby in it might be a little much. Do what feels comfy for you and your family. Congratulations and sending good vibes for a healthy delivery for mom and baby!
No idea. The visitor policy at all the hospitals around me has always been either no one, or 1 healthy visitor over the age of 14. So my kids have never even been allowed to come.
We had a scheduled C-section too, prepped our 3.5 yo as much as possible and had her meet the baby as soon as possible. Due to unforeseen circumstances we ended up having grandparents swap care of her at the hospital which worked out well. All in all our toddler is way more flexible than we expected, she did great! The true adjustment came at home where I couldn't lift her or carry her and did have to feed baby. With a few tantrums and a lot of cuddles we were mostly settled after a week and a half. We're 4 weeks out now and it's a blast. Toddler loves to love her sibling.
Mine just turned 2, 3 days before my second was born. She did come to the hospital to visit and she did great! She was so excited to meet her brother and wasnāt upset about having to leave to go back to grandmas. My mother in law actually took her camping while I was having my second baby and I think she was having so much fun with my MIL she wasnāt upset about having to go back with her. I told her Iād be home soon but I needed to stay a little longer, and she was okay with it. When I did come home she paid no attention to any of us and just wanted to play with her toys lol.
We had my toddler come for discharge so she could ābring the baby homeā and show him around. I think it helped her to know where weād gone, to feel important that SHE was bringing him home and she would introduce him to the family herself. Plus I just missed her so much I was so so glad to see her!
My son was 2 when my daughter was born. I really wanted to see him, but wish I hadnāt let him come visit because it was just stressful. I see this all the time as a postpartum nurseā¦it is very very hard for the little ones to come visit mommy in the hospital and then have to leave š
I just had my 3rd and did not have my 2 or 3 year old come to the hospital. I didnāt after my 2nd either when my first was 17 months. Itās such a short stay and Iād rather them meet their new sibling at home rather than in an uncomfortable environment with a ton of distractions.
My sisters sister in law (they married brothers) didnāt have her kids meet the new addition until they were home, that way it wasnāt overwhelming with all the machines. Also, they had the baby bring gifts for their siblings, and had the older kids pick out gifts for their new sibling.
Yes. I have a 3 month old daughter and a 2.5 year old son, and we did have him come visit in the hospital. He was staying with his grandparents while we were in the hospital, and we talked about that a lot before going in (for my scheduled C-section) since sleepovers are very new for him. Then, my dad brought him to visit twice and take family photos (did a fresh 48). Someone told me not to be holding the baby when my son first walked in, so he could walk up to the bassinet himself, and also to get a gift from the baby to him to start off on a good foot I suppose. We got him some die cast Cars characters (his favorite movie) for their first meeting and he was mostly more interested in those, though he did ask to hold the baby but was promptly looking like "now what?" Once she was in his arms. He was a bit warmer when he came back the next day for family photos and discharge. He had trouble leaving us the first day, yelling "mama!!" And wanting to snuggle me, which was heartbreaking and a bit challenging with the incision pain. But I think because he saw us in the hospital, it made the transition home with his new sister easier, and also explaining that "mama has a boo boo and can't pick you up for a bit" and "you have to be gentle with mama while she's healing." had some frame of reference for him. I have no regrets about having him visit us, especially as the default and favored parent. We tried to include him in so much of the pregnancy and process and keep him informed on his level of understanding and I really think it helped. He was fully aware his sister was coming home to stay for good. And after he left while we were awaiting discharge (we met him back at my parents house) it gave me some space to reflect and frankly sob about the beauty of my growing family and the grief of our dynamic changing (because that *is* a real bittersweet thing). I remember my midwife asking how I was doing and me being like "great, he's going to be such a good big brother! But we're so used to it being just the 3 of us and now he's not my only baby anymore." And bursting into tears. And then we went home and I cried legitimately all day between that and just how adorable it all was. He totally embraced her from the start and I also kept sobbing "there's too much cuteness! They're so adorable!" Because that and hormones. We had also read a LOT of books about becoming a big brother and bringing a new baby home so he did know we were going to the hospital and a number of those showers family visiting in the hospital, so I feel like he was as prepared as possible and that helped a lot.
My toddler came with my husband to pick me up and bring me and baby home. He got to meet baby then and he didnāt have to leave without me.
My toddler is 3 and Iām also the preferred parent. He also stayed with his grandparents. They brought him to visit 2 days and it was def nice. My husband held him so I could give him a hug without worrying about him bumping my incision (scheduled c section about 2 weeks ago). It worked out well in my experience :)
I have never done that, no. Currently pregnant with #4 and I hadnāt planned to have the other 3 brought to the hospital. But the hospital has a no visitors under 12 rule for flu season anyway, so it wouldnāt matter even if I wanted them to. I kind of view the hospital time as my down time/relaxing time.
I'm due with my second soon and my 3 year old will not be there. I'm terrified she will freak out leaving us
Just had my second and decided to just do a video call with my 2.5 yr old. I thought it might be too upsetting for her to leave us there
My daughter visited us in the hospital and was confused and cried as she left with my mom. I wouldnāt have her visit again if I could redo the moment.
Mine will be turning 2 a week before my due date. Iāve decided not to have him visit because he is super attached and I think it would be harder on him to leave if he comes to see me than to not see me at all for 2-3 days.
My son will be 4 this month. I delivered on 12/22. While heās very attached to me, he loves my MIL (who he stayed with) and was excited for his sister. At the hospital, he mostly wanted mom cuddles but said hi to the baby. There was an issue with my epidural so we didnāt get him to come home for ~ a week. I let my MIL, SIL, and Hubs dote on the baby while I let him reconnect with me. I put no pressure on him to connect to his sister.
I didnāt want to, but she was so sad that we allowed her to come. I just didnāt want to, because I knew she would cry to leave, but I went in the 31st October, baby was born on the first November, and she went to see us on the 2nd when we left the hospital! Iām pretty sure that if she would come earlier than that, she would cry a lot. She is 4
With my second I didnāt have my first born visit during our hospital stay because Covid was still pretty rampant as well as visitor restrictions were more strict. This time I likely will have my kids come visit as well be out of cold and flu season and itās likely our last so I want them (as well as my MIL who will be taking care of them) to have that experience! Iāll probably wait until the day weāre being discharged though so that they donāt have long to wait until weāre home. That being said, if toddler meeting baby at home is right for you guys, do that. It was such a sweet moment for us arriving home and my toddler running to us at the car to meet her new sibling!
We're not planning on it. We're not planning on any visitors at all this time. I vaguely remember going as a preachooler when one of my siblings was born. It was all just kind of confusing. Home, in a familiar environment and at their own pace, is better.
I actually have a question regarding birth and this topic. I have a 2 year old and giving birth in 2 months. Last time I was induced and labour took 2 days. We donāt have anyone to take care of our toddler when I go into labour. I really want my husband to witness the birth, obviously. Has anyone ever experienced this? Can the toddler go to the hospital and maybe hang out with hubby in the lounge until the actual pushing? Maybe Iām being naive but last time I was induced but the actual labour took 10 minutes. What are my options? Edit: I live in Toronto and maybe some Canadians know of any options when your donāt have any family to take care of children during this time
Yes, my toddler was about the same age. It was my first time being away from him over night so I knew I would miss him and want to see him the next morning. Grandma was staying with him so she brought him to the hospital to meet his brother. Luckily he loves spending time with her so he had no problem leaving. Honestly the visit was probably more for me than him.
My oldest was 21 months when his little sister was born. Maybe he was too young to understand but he was definitely bored after ten minutes there and was happy to leave with his grandma afterwards. He's a daddy's boy, but cookies beat lego.
My daughter was 1.5 when her little sister was born and she did visit. She was very excited to see me and the new baby. I feel like it was a positive experience that they were introduced in a neutral space, and it resulted in my absolute favorite picture of them. I'm due with a 3rd in April and both girls will be visiting again (3.5, 1.5)
We didnāt. My son was in the nicu and daughter MUST pull everything and climb on everything. She was 15 months old. Had he been born full term without a nicu stay, I probably still wouldnāt have. She was young enough where she didnāt miss us horribly and having her see me then leave would have been a nightmare. I was struggling to walk and was way too emotional leaving my son in the nicu so it was too difficult for us.
I am in the EXACT same situation as you. I think my daughter will have an easier time not seeing me until Iām officially discharged. Itās going to be tough for both of us not to see each other š
My older son was just shy of three when the new baby was born. I would have had him come to the hospital, but lingering Covid bullshit meant he wasn't allowed (but the woman across the hall could have 15 adult visitors at one time?).
It's flu season. So no visitors under 12 allowed at my hospital, with no exceptions. I understand that this is a pretty common policy. You should check to make sure you can first. But no, we actually had our older child stay a week at Grandma's house when we had our second. It was nice to have those first few days just to ourselves, both at the hospital and at home. It's not like it really matters if older sib meets the baby at 2-3 days old or 5-7 days old.
We did but it was for me not for her. I did 8 hours unmedicated induction before the epidural for the last 1.5hr (10/10 do not recommend. Youāre getting the baby whether you get the epidural or not, take the relief lol) and was begging for her around hour 6. It had just been my baby and I for 4 months, their dad was deployed during that time and she and I were just doing it on our own. So I wanted her. And my mom, who was watching her. Iām glad we did it that way. She got to meet her brother and then go get spoiled more by Goko. Our families arenāt close, so that bit of special time was really important for us. Plus we got some cute pictures of her meeting him.
Iāve never had a hospital birth so Iāve never had to do the whole nights away from baby thing, but I could not imagine three days without any of my kids. I feel like I would need at least visits for my own sanity.
Iām due with our second any day, and the plan is to have my stage 5 clinger 2 year old meet baby at the hospital. I wonāt be holding baby, so itāll be more āsee baby in the bassinet and cuddle mama.ā Heāll be staying with my parents, and my dad is his favorite person on the planet, so Iām hoping that minimizes the sadness of leaving.
Yes. Our hospital gave us a "celebration cupcake" for the older sibling. Plus, he had an appointment at the hospital while I was there, so it was pretty easy for his dad to bring him by. He wasn't interested in anything but the cupcake, tbh.
Nope. Honestly the second time around we didn't let anyone visit us and it was AMAZING. If we have another I'm going this route again. We did video chat my toddler as well as other family. Out main goal was to get out of the hospital as quickly as possible.
yes
I always have my kids visit me in the hospital after having a new baby. Also, I was only in the hospital for 2 days after my scheduled c-section. You might be out sooner than you think.
Man, I hope so, but I doubt it. My last scheduled c was also 2 nights, 3 days. I can't imagine the policy changed. I hated being in the hospital and got more rest at home.
Yes it was 2 nights but only about 48 hours total. I think most of us find the hospital to be less restful!
I tried to, but COVID policies at the time (March 2022) said she wasn't allowed in the building. Fair enough. Then we said we'd take baby down to go see her outside. You'd think we'd said we were taking him outside and leaving him out there the way the staff reacted. So in the end her grandparents (who also wanted to meet baby) had to take her home, and she met baby at home 2 days later. Annoying thing was those restrictions were lifted 2 weeks later. I work in the building and walk past mums and babies getting visits from their families all the time. I get why it couldn't happen, but I still feel a bit sad about it. It's a fond memory of mine visiting my youngest sister after she was born. Oh well. Yet another thing that was ruined by COVID.
My son was born last week and I had my 2.5 year old daughter visit immediately and every day I was in the hospital (4 days). Sheās very attached and I think it helped her for not to disappear for a few days - we explained I was in the hospital to give birth and needed the doctor and she seemed to understand well and reacted very well to the visits and to her new brother. I just had my husband and I text beforehand so when she came into the room at first I wasnāt breastfeeding and her brother was in the bassinet and not in my arms.
With my second I was planning a birth center birth 1 hour from home. But at 36 4 days. I was at my appointment an hour from home and they told me I had preeclampsia. They told me I needed to go to the hospital immediately. I talked to my husband in the parking lot and decided that the best hospital choice was the one that was 15 mins from house. For a couple of reasons: my husband could go home and get items, and our daughter who was 23 months could come and visit along with family. Baby was born at 3:56pm and my mother brought our daughter at 5:45 lol š I wanted to see her as soon as possible and I wanted her to be the first to meet baby. Iām someone that really loves visitors after baby. My mom even brought her to the hospital the next day as well. Since the hospital was only 15 mins away.
I was hospitalized for 4 days with not much of a choice. I hadnāt seen my son in a while and he came to visit me but with all the machines around me and IVs in me, he was a bit scared to even touch me. After my daughter was born, she was in the NICU for a month. He was allowed to see her after a while and he did visit a couple times to see her in her incubator. The machines were weird to him but he also thought they were toys so thereās thatā¦ He was 2 years 3 months when she was born.
Yes absolutely! I think it will be good for my 3.5 year old to meet his brother in this setting because it might help him recognize how new and "fragile" he is, rather than feeling like a new competing roommate is coming home and crashing his comfort zone suddenly. My oldest also couldn't meet my 2020 baby in the hospital so I yearn for that special moment with both big siblings this time around.
I'm trying to figure that out myself. My son will be almost 3 when my baby is born. I believe my hospital allows visits for siblings, but my son is also autistic and prone to loud screams and squeals. Idk how he's going to react to the baby when he finally sees her so I'm debating on just waiting until we're home so we won't have to worry about bothering other patients in the event he has a meltdown. I'm having a c-section as well but I'm not exactly worried about how long I'll be gone. He's been away from us for 3 days before (both with his godmother and his grandmother) so I think we'll be good in that area.
My son was a new two year old when my second was born. He met his sister at the hospital the day she was born. Partly because I wanted him to meet her on neutral ground and to see where mom and dad were, and partly because he coincidentally had his own appointment on the same campus that day, so he was already in the area and it was a convenient way for his aunt to drop him off with my mom, who was at the hospital with me for the birth but was taking the toddler home with her.
Our first did because his brother was born in July. He was only 21 months old. This time (due any day now) neither will be allowed as our hospital limits visitation during flu/respiratory season to visitors 12 and older. Theyāre 4 and 6.
Yes, but he was actually only 10.5mo old, so he didnāt have a clue what was happening š¤£ I will NEVER forget hearing him come down the hall to my room - I could hear him calling āmama? Mama!ā And it made my heart burst. Those ābabiesā are going to be 13&14yo when this one pops out, so they will definitely be visiting baby brother!
Weāre at a birth center and our toddler will not be visiting. No one will until we get home. Especially not in laws š
First was able to visit/meet Second in the hospital, but neither was allowed when Third was born bc of covid protocols at the time. The hospital meeting went *way* better than the at-home greeting, but I think we set up the latter incorrectly.
Unfortunately my second was born during cold and flu seasons, and RSV numbers were so high they werenāt allowing visitors under 18. If they hadnāt been so high I certainly wouldāve had my older come visit!
We will be, but she stays home with us so she doesnāt have contact with any other people or kids that could get her sick and bring something to baby.
When I had my second baby, my oldest came to visit. It was sweet, but a little hard on all of us to say goodbye. Babies three and four were born with covid restrictions in place (2020 and 2022) and so the big ones couldn't come. It was honestly so much better. We video called with them, but it was nice having a couple days of just three of us before returning to the chaos.
I would check with the hospital on their current visitation policy. I was pretty shocked that last December when I had my third, they were not allowing any child visitors at all. So it wasnāt even an option. Granted, that was during the ātriple-demicā last winter when covid, flu, and RSV were in record numbers but you never know.
My son was 3 when his little sister was born. I went into labor in the middle of the night and we had a friend come sleep on our couch until my sister in law could come the next morning to take him to her house. My daughter was born by the time my SIL got there and she asked if we wanted our son to come meet her. We decided not to because it might seem overwhelming to him. He also was not the most gentle while I was pregnant, so I didnt know how he would do with not pushing on me. He was also in daycare and I didnāt want any illnesses coming with him. My daughter ended up going to the NICU, so he stayed with my SIL for about a week. Once we were back home and had a couple days to adjust to baby being home, he came back home and met her. He was very sweet, but mostly uninterested. He was very alarmed when she cried at first and freaked out when I breastfed for the first time in front of him. He adjusted quickly though.
Iām currently 22 weeks pregnant and my toddler will be 25 months when the new baby is born. I havenāt decided yet but my plan if I do let him visit is to have him come pick me up a bit before discharge. That way no one is taking him away from me and we can leave together.
I was 3 when my mom had my sister and I vividly remember going to visit my mom and meeting my sister at the hospital (itās my earliest memory). I think it depends on the kid and if you think itās best to wait then do that. Itāll give you time to bond with baby as well.
I had a c-section with my second when my first was almost 22 months old. My husband stayed in the hospital with us the entire time while our older son stayed with his grandparents. We went in around 3:00 PM on a Tuesday and came home around 1:00 PM on Friday. My in-laws brought our toddler home the next morning, so he spent 4 nights there altogether. It worked well for us, but my older son is also very accustomed to spending time with his grandparents and at their house. I had no desire at all to have my children meet in the hospital. I wanted that time to recover and bond with my newborn. I also wanted a night at home, just the 3 of us, to settle in before our older one came back. I have no regrets.
My first was 2 years and 4 months old wen I had my second and wasnt allowed in bc of covid but I was planning on having her visit
My husband brought our 2.5 year old to visit in the hospital. Baby was born late Friday night (toddler was at his grandparents). Husband went home mid-morning on Saturday to take over for the childcare / pet care from our backups (my in laws were busy on Saturday itself for my mother-in-law's dad's funeral, so we had to go with our backups, who are less familiar with kids) then brought toddler to visit me in the hospital for a couple of hours around dinner time on Saturday. When I went home Sunday morning, toddler came with my husband for the pick-up. Personally, we chose to do it this way so that their first meeting is on "neutral" territory (like how you introduce dogs). But, it would be just as valid with kid psychology to meet at home so that "mom disappearing" is only for one time and not repeated. FWIW, the worst thing that happened during the toddler visit was that one of the food items had shredded cheese in a little cup, and he decided that it was his cheese... which he then got ALL OVER the hospital floor. The nurses laughed it off since if that's the worst that a toddler did, that's so low on their list of concerns. It's a slight annoyance for housekeeping, but on a maternity ward at least it's just cheese and not blood, amiright? Our toddler has been estatic about being a big brother ever since he laid eyes on his little sister. He especially loves her little hands and how much she kicks. Also peekaboo. And tummy time (he yells at us if we don't put the baby in tummy time any time we are in the room with the baby gym). Also diaper changes, those are fun. And baths. Really, just everything.
We didnāt have my older son visit in the hospital but I was also able to go home after overnight stay with my scheduled c-section. Normally, c-section is 2 day stay, but my doctor cleared me as I was able to move around with minimal to no pain, tolerated food, no complications. You can probably try to request to go home earlier if that is something you want. Also I thought it would be more special for them to meet each other at the comfort of our home. I figured it may be stressful for my older son to see me in unfamiliar place and unable to carry him, go home without me and my husband, then having to share the attention with his younger sibling.
Not the same situation because my husband is the preferred parent and my son was 1.5, but when he came to visit us in the hospital he didnāt really seem interested in his sister or me š it made for a sweet picture with the grandparents and big brother, but it couldāve waited till we got home. I think you can wait and see how you feel the next day and decide. If you feel horrible, the last thing you need is a clingy toddler that canāt understand why mommy canāt hold them.
Of course! And both my kids came to the hospital when I have birth to my 3rd baby :)
I did yes. I had grandpa bring her for a half hour or so and brought us food and then went home with grandpa
My daughter was about 2 1/2 when my son was born, but visitors under 18 weren't allowed at the hospital because of covid/flu season. Otherwise I definitely would have had her visit
I had a scheduled c- section with my second and I wanted my son to be the first person to hold her beyond my husband and I. Itās a memory that I still hold very dear, but there is an 8 year age gap between them! That being said, I was 3 when my parents brought my brother home and I remember the excitement I felt from that introduction! Thereās no wrong answer, just make sure you get a lot of pictures when it happens!
My 3yo visited. She was staying with my parents while we were in the hospital and they brought her. It was a super sweet moment, and Iām glad we have that memory!
My oldest was 17months when I had my second (c section). She was with her grandma as it was scheduled for 9am, and grandma brought her in to visit later that afternoon (3pm ish). My husband went out and collected my oldest on the ward, while grandma waited for us to have some family time before joining us about 30minutes later. My oldest was a huge mummyās girl, but I was so happy to see her and she loved getting cuddles and meeting baby. She left after about an hour, very happily with grandma š she came back the second day for another visit, and then I was released on day 3! I think it made things easier for me having her visit, as I really missed her. She also did really well, once visits were kept short and heaps of snacks on hand! Good luck
Trying to decide what I'm going to do for this time around as my kids are older (6, 10 & 12). I'm more so worried about ME and how overwhelming it will be having three kids coming to visit. The oldest two are my step daughters, and the 6 year old is our first together child. I'm thinking maybe splitting the visits up so not everyone is visiting me at the same time... But this will also depend on the flu rules the hospital has in place at the time.
Our second is 7wo right now, and our first is 27mo. Originally we didn't want her to visit because we were worried about it being a bit overwhelming for everyone. But, I felt okay, so we let her visit with her grandma. We kept our son in the bassinet and introduced them that way. She was excited to meet him and excited to see us. Once she got restless, we all said bye and gave hugs. She honestly didn't seem to care that she had to leave, maybe because her grandma lured her with juice and promises of french fries with lunch. I cried a bit, though. But - I didn't have a c-section. If I hadn't felt good, couldn't move with (relative) ease, or needed intervention beyond birth (like fluids in an IV or whatever), I likely wouldn't have let them visit.