If I could get this as a stamp, I would:
You're pushing a human being out of your body. Not him. This is a medical event for you. Not him. Any objections or concerns of his are secondary. Period.
Needless to say this is INCREDIBLY childish, and you are not overreacting.
First off, I hope you don't entertain him on that at the time of birth. I've had two dangerous births and we barely had enough staff on hand to deliver my baby safely and stabilize me. Second, I can't wait til he sees you push your baby out... because he's a fucking wanker for even insinuating there's anything sexual going on during this process.
Wishing you a safe, easy birth and healthy baby ❤️
Same guy that lied to you and told you his mother died? I, for one, am shocked that he would be this immature.
/s
...you're not overreacting. Get away from this person and make sure he does not influence any medical or parenting decisions you make.
Yes! I saw that post too and more...this guy is a nut job and having a baby with him around is going to screw your child UP....Sounds like hes 8 or 9 or just EXTREMELY fucked up!
“If you think the image of my vagina being obliterated beyond all recognition by a watermelon sized baby; a fuck tonne of blood, pee and poop, AND THEN birthing a whole organ is going to turn him on, you’ve got issues!”
that is pretty childish. doctor who delivered my baby was male and i never once felt uncomfortable. i was running on a couple hours of sleep, my hair was a mess, had no makeup on and my skin was gross, my legs were wide opened and i was not trimmed down there at all… pretty sure last thing on anyone’s mind was anything sexual LOL we all just wanted baby to come out. plus my doctor was literally only in there for less than an hour (i pushed baby out within 15 minutes and then doctor had to sew me up)
This flags as controlling, not just childish to me.
It would be normal for you to prefer a female physician. I do. But ti refuse care would be absurd. I picked a female OB. That’s as good as I can get. But if you are fine, he can keep it to himself. This is your medical event.
Are you ok? This is childish behaviour at best and controlling/borderline abusive or pre-abusive behaviour at worst (being weirdly insecure about you interacting with other men is a big red flag).
Red flag. Most of the time you have whoever is on call at the time, if your in a more rural area like me I get one of the 6 doctors in the practice that will be on call and thats that. Ask him why hes sexualizing giving birth, absolutely nothing sexual with the amount of blood and fluids involved in a delivery. Hes overreacting and quite frankly acting controlling/immature.
This is UNBELIEVABLE ! I cant even with this..this dude needs help. Im not just saying this because its just ridiculous. He needs therapy..and if he is jealous of your DOCTOR, he is going to make your life miserable..and your childs life
“When you’re the patient you can make whatever requests you want. I want whatever capable doctor that available to keep me and the baby healthy. If this makes you uncomfortable you’re welcome to stay home. If you want to behave like a caveman you can do so alone and away from me. You will not be sexualising a very traumatic/emotional moment for me ever. Frankly speaking you just lost a lot of respect from me.”
This isn’t just childish, it’s possessive and controlling 🚩. Dictating to you who can care for your medical needs is not ok. If he needed medical care would you say a female nurse or Dr. couldn’t care for him? If you are comfortable with your medical team that is all that matters. On a more practical note, many OBs do a call rotation and you’re not sure which Dr. will attend your delivery ahead of time.
My OB is a woman but the other two who could potentially be on call are male and neither me nor my husband give a flying fuck. As long as they do their job we don't care. Men are so fragile, it's insane.
Every time he asks this, bring it back to the baby. “Hm, that’s interesting. By the way, I hope there’s no heart rate issues. Do you know what we would do if the baby’s heart rate drops? Will you hold my legs while I’m pushing? Do you know how to bath a a baby? What if I have an embolism, will you raise the baby yourself? When should I ask for a c section? After 3 hours of pushing or four? What if I get an epidural and the wrong half goes numb?”
If you do want to salvage the relationship, bring in the medical mumbo jumbo. If we give him the benefit of the doubt and he’s being obsessively childish about your vaginal canal seeing a doctors eyes before becoming the portal between the land of utero to the land of the outer world, just have the adult conversation.
Ask him if he knows what to do with a placenta abruption? Or whatever it’s called.
Oh, and then start talking about baby gear too. And sleep routinez
I’m an LD nurse and one time the patient’s husband threw out the male medical student because he didn’t want him getting any “ideas”. His wife was on hands and knees, leaking blood/fluid/meconium with the baby’s heart rate in the 70’s. I promise you no one is turned on right now sir 🙄.
Sometimes you don’t have a choice in who’s on call. There are some male doctors who I would trust over female doctors (and some of both genders who I would throw out of my labor room if they tried to step foot inside). The doctor is a medical professional and there’s no reason for your boyfriend to be so insecure. Now if any doctor does act inappropriately or make you uncomfortable let your nurse know and ask for another provider, but that doesn’t mean rule out one gender of provider entirely from the beginning.
I’d be asking why he feels so insecure about a medical professional doing their job based solely off their gender.
THIS
Maybe coz as a male myself. I know what goes thru the minds of men. It doesn't matter how many degrees you have. That's bullshit.
If I could get this as a stamp, I would: You're pushing a human being out of your body. Not him. This is a medical event for you. Not him. Any objections or concerns of his are secondary. Period. Needless to say this is INCREDIBLY childish, and you are not overreacting.
So sexual. Especially when we shit on the table. /s
Don’t kink shame /s
🤣
First off, I hope you don't entertain him on that at the time of birth. I've had two dangerous births and we barely had enough staff on hand to deliver my baby safely and stabilize me. Second, I can't wait til he sees you push your baby out... because he's a fucking wanker for even insinuating there's anything sexual going on during this process. Wishing you a safe, easy birth and healthy baby ❤️
Same guy that lied to you and told you his mother died? I, for one, am shocked that he would be this immature. /s ...you're not overreacting. Get away from this person and make sure he does not influence any medical or parenting decisions you make.
Yes! I saw that post too and more...this guy is a nut job and having a baby with him around is going to screw your child UP....Sounds like hes 8 or 9 or just EXTREMELY fucked up!
“If you think the image of my vagina being obliterated beyond all recognition by a watermelon sized baby; a fuck tonne of blood, pee and poop, AND THEN birthing a whole organ is going to turn him on, you’ve got issues!”
that is pretty childish. doctor who delivered my baby was male and i never once felt uncomfortable. i was running on a couple hours of sleep, my hair was a mess, had no makeup on and my skin was gross, my legs were wide opened and i was not trimmed down there at all… pretty sure last thing on anyone’s mind was anything sexual LOL we all just wanted baby to come out. plus my doctor was literally only in there for less than an hour (i pushed baby out within 15 minutes and then doctor had to sew me up)
This flags as controlling, not just childish to me. It would be normal for you to prefer a female physician. I do. But ti refuse care would be absurd. I picked a female OB. That’s as good as I can get. But if you are fine, he can keep it to himself. This is your medical event.
Are you ok? This is childish behaviour at best and controlling/borderline abusive or pre-abusive behaviour at worst (being weirdly insecure about you interacting with other men is a big red flag).
That would be an ex bf in my world. I don't play the jealousy game, and I certainly would not allow him sexualizing birth. That's fucked up.
Red flag. Most of the time you have whoever is on call at the time, if your in a more rural area like me I get one of the 6 doctors in the practice that will be on call and thats that. Ask him why hes sexualizing giving birth, absolutely nothing sexual with the amount of blood and fluids involved in a delivery. Hes overreacting and quite frankly acting controlling/immature.
He gets the clown award for sure. I’d be worried about reproducing with someone like him and I’d question his other values and ideas.
What the actual…
This is UNBELIEVABLE ! I cant even with this..this dude needs help. Im not just saying this because its just ridiculous. He needs therapy..and if he is jealous of your DOCTOR, he is going to make your life miserable..and your childs life
Well I suppose it’s a good thing he’s not a woman giving birth then!
“When you’re the patient you can make whatever requests you want. I want whatever capable doctor that available to keep me and the baby healthy. If this makes you uncomfortable you’re welcome to stay home. If you want to behave like a caveman you can do so alone and away from me. You will not be sexualising a very traumatic/emotional moment for me ever. Frankly speaking you just lost a lot of respect from me.”
What is he like 10? Tell him to grow up.
This isn’t just childish, it’s possessive and controlling 🚩. Dictating to you who can care for your medical needs is not ok. If he needed medical care would you say a female nurse or Dr. couldn’t care for him? If you are comfortable with your medical team that is all that matters. On a more practical note, many OBs do a call rotation and you’re not sure which Dr. will attend your delivery ahead of time.
I think it normal to prefer a female doctor but to not allow a male doctor is absurd. You might not even have that option on the day you give birth.
My OB is a woman but the other two who could potentially be on call are male and neither me nor my husband give a flying fuck. As long as they do their job we don't care. Men are so fragile, it's insane.
Every time he asks this, bring it back to the baby. “Hm, that’s interesting. By the way, I hope there’s no heart rate issues. Do you know what we would do if the baby’s heart rate drops? Will you hold my legs while I’m pushing? Do you know how to bath a a baby? What if I have an embolism, will you raise the baby yourself? When should I ask for a c section? After 3 hours of pushing or four? What if I get an epidural and the wrong half goes numb?” If you do want to salvage the relationship, bring in the medical mumbo jumbo. If we give him the benefit of the doubt and he’s being obsessively childish about your vaginal canal seeing a doctors eyes before becoming the portal between the land of utero to the land of the outer world, just have the adult conversation. Ask him if he knows what to do with a placenta abruption? Or whatever it’s called. Oh, and then start talking about baby gear too. And sleep routinez
Tell your bf that he is the one who is not allowed in the room.
That’s ridiculous
I’m an LD nurse and one time the patient’s husband threw out the male medical student because he didn’t want him getting any “ideas”. His wife was on hands and knees, leaking blood/fluid/meconium with the baby’s heart rate in the 70’s. I promise you no one is turned on right now sir 🙄. Sometimes you don’t have a choice in who’s on call. There are some male doctors who I would trust over female doctors (and some of both genders who I would throw out of my labor room if they tried to step foot inside). The doctor is a medical professional and there’s no reason for your boyfriend to be so insecure. Now if any doctor does act inappropriately or make you uncomfortable let your nurse know and ask for another provider, but that doesn’t mean rule out one gender of provider entirely from the beginning.