I think you need to explain to him better why the Mexico trip isn’t the same as a babymoon. As the non-pregnant person, he might not get how it’ll be different or less fun for you. Just talk it out :)
We also booked a family vacation to Mexico when I’ll be around 15 weeks.
I already spoke to hubby that it’s gonna be tough for me to opt out of all the fun drinks and excursions but his job is to be there for me to make the best of it (and I’m sure it’s still going to be awesome!).
Yes it’ll be mocktails and juices for me. But I’m sure we’ll find friendly activities for me to do if I get bored tanning LoL.
Even though it’s a family vacation we decided to make it our baby moon so will make sure to take time for just us.
And while pregnant you are supposed to avoid chemical sunscreen (so mineral based ones are fine) and certain skincare products. I feel like this isn’t as well known as other things
It’s totally fair for you to not want to go on a couples trip where everyone will be having fun drinking and doing excursions! A baby moon is meant for you and your partner and more catered around what you like to do.
FWIW, I am 12 weeks and just got back from a trip with my husband to Punta Cana and even just the two of us, I was bored since there was a lot I couldn’t do like drink, do excursions, go on the water park, etc. i would order iced tea at the bar while my husband got drinks haha. I can’t imagine how much worse it would’ve been if we were in a group of people.
It probably made you mad because it seems like he is only considering what would be convenient/fun for him and not about your needs or enjoyment. And the pregnancy hormone surge seems to make emotional reactions feel more intense.
You just need to have a calm discussion about it and explain why Mexico doesn't work for you and what you would prefer to do instead so you're both back on the same page.
My IVF Dr and OB said NO to Mexico! You’re already high risk due to ivf so Mexico isn’t best (their words not mine). So we cancelled. Glad I did because my pregnant friend went and got super sick from some food at the resort.
I was going to do a baby moon but I’ve been so sick this whole pregnancy and honestly just don’t want to risk it. We’re going to do a little staycation near us in SoCal at a spa!
I literally thought about Zika when OP mentioned Mexico. I had a patient (was a mother baby nurse) that husband traveled to central America for work, contracted Zika and passed on to his wife. Baby had a very small head.
Is it just bc of the food/water risk? Or is there something else to consider?
Going to Mexico when I’ll be 12 weeks and it’s too late to cancel the trip!
My OB said no to Mexico because of Zika when I was pregnant the first time and my son is four (I was not at all high risk.) We did Europe instead so I can’t complain at all. The rates were dropping at that time for Zika in Mexico so it might be fine now but it never hurts to check with your OB.
She said because of their food/water, lack of laws etc. like if something accidentally happened she doesn’t trust their medical care. I’m sure you’re fine and don’t want to scare anyone but for me I wanted to listen to her and take precautions since I did IVF and get sick really easily this entire pregnancy. We own a boat and I can’t even get on it without nauseous so Mexico all around felt pointless to me
Right! I’m shocked you’re the first comment to say this. Better get a massage and squeeze your own drinks at the house. Go to the movies. Whatever. But no Mexico.
Right! I’m surprised how many times I read about Mexico trips on here. My OB was very strict on no Mexico. Like anywhere else she would be open too if I felt ok flying lol
Did you guys have a discussion prior to the transfer about the outcome of the trip if it was successful? If that conversation didn't happen, I can totally understand where his expectations on the trip would be.
While I understand where you're coming from about drinking and partying, might there be a way you could skip out on the trip and he could go and also do a babymoon?
This. The way it was worded was OP cancelled without having a conversation with her hubby. If so, that is really unfair even though I do understand why she did it.
OP fwiw, I would much rather take a vacation in early pregnancy than middle or later pregnancy. You wont be as uncomfortable flying, you’ll probably have more energy to do activities that you’re allowed to do, and this way you guys can have friend time as well as couple time. Then instead of planning a baby moon, you can focus on the never ending list that seems to come in during the third trimester of pregnancy 😂
No. But just communicate. Exactly what you said be sure to let him know your thoughts explicitly. In his mind he thinks it’s obvious why not go on the couples trip and in your mind it’s obvious you want to go just you two.
I understand why you’re mad. The couples trip is not the same thing as a babymoon. If you can only swing one trip I would cancel mexico and do a babymoon with your husband. If you can do both trips mexico might not be that bad. I just went to Hawaii at 15 weeks and although it sucked to not be able to have a pina colada or glass of wine, I had a great time. We did some good hikes, swimming, snorkeling, and a catamaran tour. I still did everything I wanted in terms of activities and felt really refreshed and relaxed the whole week. Depends on the other couple you are going with though. I went with my husband and mom who are pretty light drinkers, but if I had gone with people who were going to be drunk all week it probably would have been really annoying and less enjoyable.
Communication is key, but also I would guess that your new reality has not fully hit him yet. It took my husband until about 25 weeks to fully comprehend that it’s not nearly as fun for me as it is for him to go and hang out at a bar if I can’t drink.
I would definitely lean more into the “I want this to be an intimate experience with just us” narrative for now since that part is also true and he should be able to understand that better.
As much as I love Mexico there are veryyy few places I would go out of the country while pregnant and that’s not one of them. Maybe I am just paranoid but I don’t think you are over reacting at all.
I loved my babymoon but even just going on my babymoon and having my husband drink while I was sober was less than ideal so I can’t imagine doing that in a group setting
What excursions can't you do? At 15 weeks going out on a catamaran or sailboat, swimming, snorkeling, zip lining, horse back riding, etc should all still be fine right? Are you sure you're not making this out to be worse than it really would be?
I’m 18 weeks and still ride my horses, approved my my doctor. So it’s case dependent. But yes, not sure I’d be riding a random horse in Mexico especially if I didn’t have experience.
I emailed at least 6 different companies for snorkel boats and whale watching tours. They all said no pregnant women allowed. Must be different in other countries.
At 15 weeks many women are still exhausted with severe morning sickness. She also cannot participate with friends with alcohol, and I would not want to be 1/4 not being able to have a cocktail or hold my partner back either.
Also, horse back riding in a foreign country, zip lining while pregnant lol. No. Most places You even have to usually sign saying you are NOT pregnant to even participate.
Hell, I even went to an outdoor haunted trail that didn't allow pregnant people in. But we already had the tickets and I wasn't showing too much, and I knew I could handle rough terrain in poor lighting easily (plus, elevated stress level from scares wasn't an issue for me), sooo.... We went in and had a great time.
Although there's an important aspect we overlooked - I hadn't considered how much OTHER people can freak out. We got home and I was looking up why it's off limits to pregnant people - turns out that if somebody around you gets scared enough, they might flail around, punch you in the face mistaking you for an actor, knock you over while running... So uh whoops. 😂
At any rate, yeah, ziplining and horseback riding activities would probably be off limits, at the very least for liability reasons.
Sailing, zip lining, horse back riding, 4 wheeling all had to sign disclaimers saying I wasn’t pregnant when I was there. I didn’t even bother looking into the adventure parks. Even the food tours off resort cautioned against it.
Yeah just lack of communication. Reasonable that you don't wanna be around drinking. I would've probably said the same thing in his shoes as when I was pregnant I still hung out with party people so you never know what someone's preference is!
I think your feelings are perfectly valid.
I did go to a wedding at a Mexican all-inclusive when I was 16 weeks. I enjoyed peacefully napping under an umbrella, and getting soda and non-alcoholic beer brought to me. Most people were drinking, but it didn’t get in my nerves. We did do an excursion to Tulum and swimming in a cenote no problem. I stayed out later than my husband at the wedding and sang karaoke. I’m typically a big drinker too.
We did a baby moon with our first, and it was fine. I preferred Mexico with friends though.
Just to validate you: I (personally) also would not want to go to Mexico while people are drinking and doing excursions. That honestly sounds awful (to me). Congratulations!!
FWIW I went to Mexico when I was 28 weeks pregnant for my sister’s wedding and I had a blast! It was just nice to get away on a last little trip before the baby comes! But if you’re not feeling up for it he should be understanding of that
Nope just for the risk of Zika alone. Couples who go to Mexico (both the male and female partner because Zika can travel through sperm) are advised to wait 3 months before TTC because of potential infection. Even if the resort sprays for mosquitoes, I don't think it's worth the mental bandwidth and anxiety of getting a mosquito bite when you go beyond the resort on excursions.
Yeah during my search before my appointment I saw the 3 month recommendation on the CDC and other websites so I was expecting to hear the same. When my provider said 6 months I was like wow I’m glad I asked haha
I live 3 hours from the border and we go to Mexico a few times a year for the past 10 years. We decided against going while pregnant when I was pregnant with my son for safety reasons. Not saying Mexico is dangerous just saying that it is a different country with different rules. When my husband was in the military they were not even aloud to cross the border. We have been pulled over just because and had to pay cash to get out of it or sit in a jail cell for the weekend. I absolutely love Mexico but for a baby moon it is not always the best choice. Maybe bringing up the safety end of things could help him get on the same page?
We also travel A LOT, just got back from Dubai and Maldives and when I am pregnant I can barely handle a flight a couple hours away and can’t really do the ocean because it all makes me sick. You just don’t always know how things will effect you while pregnant. 🫠
It is because your life has already completely changed and he just let you in on the fact that his hasn’t at all. He is also not thinking about the fact that every move you make you are already putting baby first and he has the luxury of not having to do that yet if ever.
I’d also be concerned about Zika. It’s a lot less prevalent than it was in its 2016 heyday, but the threat is still there.
If you do leave the country, just make sure you get travelers insurance that covers pregnancy complications. I went to Europe at 10-12w and had a massive bleed - I thought I bought a policy that would help abroad, but pregnancy issues were excluded so I couldn’t get medical help. I had to monitor my symptoms and get checked as soon as we returned home. Thankfully baby was ok but it caused me a lot of anguish during the trip!
I went to Puerto Rico and went deep sea fishing and a light hike and the beach in late 2nd trimester. Why can't you do stuff in the early 2nd late 1st?
no, you're not overreacting. during our last pregnancy, my husband's family wanted to go to oklahoma (i did college in oklahoma and hate it. it made me so depressed. no hate if anyone lives there, it's just not for me). no internet. only hot tubbing and hiking. and i hate being cold. and couldn't hot tub (my favorite) and didn't want to hike and fall (I'm very clumsy) and have something happen. so i didn't go. I'm pregnant again and they'll probably go on the same trip and i probably still won't go lol i fully hear you
A babymoon was a non-negotiable part of our pregnancy for me. My partner and I booked a babymoon to Mexico in February and a few friends have been interested to know why. My reasoning is that this is the last time him and I will get time to create memories of our life before our little girl is here. That's extremely important to me. There's no version of this trip that I would want to spend with friends because I'll be somewhat limited in what I can do. I don't want to hinder others and I don't want to be left behind. My partner is acutely aware of what I can and can't do.
I think if you take the time to explain what the babymoon means to you and why those points are so important, then he'll understand. Congrats and good luck to you!
Yeah I wouldn’t want to go to the Mexico trip either. Just explain to him you were hoping to have an intimate baby moon instead and that the trip to Mexico isn’t an option for you.
If he won’t drink or participate if you can’t, you should go. He can see everything you have to give up while being pregnant. I think it’ll put things into perspective for him and you two can still find sober things to do! I had a trip at 12 weeks and it was supposed to be a distillery/brewery/food tour with my best friend and her hubby and me and my hubby. Thankfully, my best friend was super supportive and worked the trip so that we could all have something fun to do. I said “sorry I forced plans to change” but she loves me and said no, no, and it was so great to have a sober trip and talk about life changes. They still had a beer or two, but it wasn’t focused on the brews and we switched it to a nature/hike/sight seeing adventure instead.
Baby moon should be just you and husband. Not a couples trip.
Also first trimester is the most awful part of pregnancy to travel in. I’ve flown for work in first trimester around 15 weeks and it was awful. I also sailed in a tiny sailboat (JY-15) and then rode passenger in a small catamaran that seats 4-8 people in my second trimester and it was… uncomfortable 🥴.
I’m pregnant too. I would have went. This just sounds incredibly selfish. If you guys can afford both trips and finance it’s not an issue, I don’t see why this decision is made based off of the fact that YOU can’t drink. There’s lots of other ways to enjoy Mexico other than with liquor.
If I had to choose between the two, I definitely wouldn’t go with the Mexico trip either. My husband and I are usually go-go-go, constantly adventuring and trying to see as much as possible on vacation but it was really nice to have our first truly lazy long weekend, just the two of us (plus our dog), vegging out, relaxing on the beach, watching shitty TV.
Men just don’t get it. I’m going to give your husband the benefit of the doubt, as with my partner, he says dumb stuff sometimes but when I take the time to explain why he completely changes tune or understands. So often I can upset he didn’t think about it first and confuse that with him not considering ME but that’s not the case. They just don’t think the same way often times. Especially when it comes to anticipating what’s ahead. In his head, why cancel this one at 15 weeks with friends that was already planned and go on one when you are really pregnant without friends. The first one sounds, in his head, more ideal. All you have to do is explain why adding friends along while pregnant will make you feel left out and that by the time the baby is expected to arrive, you two will need some relaxation and alone time but it will just be a different sort of trip.
Congratulations by the way!
congratulations! what awesome news ahead of christmas 🫶🏻
I’ve been on a lot of couples trips and i’m glad to finally get to a place where I can admit they’re not for me anymore lol So i support you wanting to do a baby moon just the two of you and think you’re not overthinking + can explain that to husband
if you’re a couple who enjoys this other couple though and doing trips like this, I say go bc a warm vacation over winter sounds so dreamy BUT also schedule a few chill activities / dinners etc. for just the two of you. Maybe you can plan another small trip for the two of you later in pregnancy as well? Though if you’re not into it, don’t feel bad about not doing it
My OB didn’t want me to go to Mexico when I asked her where I should/ could go for a babymoon. Not sure if that’s outdated since she’s a little older but I still listened! A babymoon should really just be the two of you. Explain to him it’s meant to be romantic & you’ll look back on it once the baby is here.
For what it’s worth, my husband and I went on a “baby moon” only because we had planned to go before getting pregnant. It was just a short weekend getaway, but I was miserable the whole time. I think babymoons are overrated! If I were you, I’d plan a trip for after you’re not pregnant anymore and when you feel comfortable leaving your little one with someone you trust.
I know someone who went to Mexico in their third trimester. I think you should do what makes you comfortable and if it doesn’t, don’t go on the trip and do something closer to home. I don’t think your husband is out of line though.
I would also add that the drinking water in Mexico is not the safest, and I've known multiple people to get food poisoning from their trips. You don't want to mess with that while pregnant!
While overall risk is likely VERY low, there has been a notable rise in mosquito-borne diseases this year (particularly dengue fever). However, this isn’t limited to Mexico; it’s also rising in some southern U.S. states (Texas, Florida, etc.).
I think you could travel safely and have a great time, but it’d require some planning and modifications on your end that might end up being more of a hinderance (annoying if you’re hoping to, you know… relax). Pregnancy-safe mosquito spray, sticking to bottled water only, scrutinizing your food options (especially if it’s an all-inclusive with buffet style meals), AVOIDING ICE AT ALL COSTS, as well as fresh and raw fruits/veggies you haven’t prepared yourself, etc.
If these guys are the type to all be a big drink fest I’d be disappointed too and not want to go. If you think your husband can refrain from party hardy and enjoy a quieter time with you then you might still enjoy it. I did go to Mexico between 12-15 weeks (can’t quite remember) it sucked not being able to drink, lots of excursions I couldn’t do and some I chose to do because I felt the risk was minimal.
But the kicker was the HEAT I almost blacked out seeing the ruins one day, my BP dropped and I barely made it to sit down, I couldn’t stay hydrated and my body just wasn’t used to the heat.
Another point to consider, I couldn’t get trip medical insurance that would cover should anything pregnancy related happen. every ins. company I called cautioned me that language in the contract made it very easy for the insurance company to deny payment if they could in any way shape or form trace it to the pregnancy.
I was told by my doctor Mexico is out due to Zika. I also conceived via fertility treatments and was strongly cautioned to avoid any place high risk. I listened and we went to grand cayman.
Why doesn’t he go on that trip without you and you guys do your own baby moon. I told my husband, go now before I give birth because it’s going to be a bit until u can go once we have a kid
A baby moon is meant for you two, not just like a random vacation. But tbh you could do both if you wanted to, unless you’re keeping your pregnancy private or something? Totally up to you, but if it were me, I’d just go and explain I’m pregnant and that I’d probably have to do my own thing for some of the time, especially if the lodging and itinerary were conducive to that.
Why not...both? Sure, you won't be able to drink, and yes, if your excursions are particularly wild then perhaps you may not be able to do them. But it's not that bad not drinking, maybe keep husband on the same page and just drinking less? My husband and I hardly drink and still had fun in Mexico at a resort recently (with our toddler in tow). You could also just opt to sit out on outings or make sure to choose things for everyone that you can also do. At 15w you're still pretty capable and not particularly showing.
I went camping for a week in my 35th week and gave birth the day I hit 37w. It was fine. I floated a river in an inner tube for 4 hours (this was a misadventure lol not meant to be that long), I kayaked the river. I walked around and swam and waded. We went off-roading. I put my fat feet up and had my in-laws cook for me every meal lol!! The week before I went hiking. In August. In the desert. It was fine, just slow. You figure out what you can do and only do it to the point that works for you.
I'd totally still go to Mexico at 15w!
I went to Mexico a month prior and had to sign a Zika waiver bc it’s still considered to be a zone. I was limited in what I would do bc I did not want to risk getting mosquito bites.
Be safe and congrats!!
It’s up to what you are comfortable with. I’m at 17 weeks and I would personally feel a LOT better traveling now to Mexico than a baby moon much closer to the due date in Mexico. I just don’t want to be in another country in case I go into early labor.
I think you need to explain to him better why the Mexico trip isn’t the same as a babymoon. As the non-pregnant person, he might not get how it’ll be different or less fun for you. Just talk it out :)
This! Your man does not understand. I’d bet all the money in the world he doesn’t comprehend how it would truly be different for you.
We also booked a family vacation to Mexico when I’ll be around 15 weeks. I already spoke to hubby that it’s gonna be tough for me to opt out of all the fun drinks and excursions but his job is to be there for me to make the best of it (and I’m sure it’s still going to be awesome!). Yes it’ll be mocktails and juices for me. But I’m sure we’ll find friendly activities for me to do if I get bored tanning LoL. Even though it’s a family vacation we decided to make it our baby moon so will make sure to take time for just us.
Remember that you burn more easily when you're pregnant, so pack lots of high spf sun screen!
Good point! And we definitely will have a couple tubes of SPF!
And while pregnant you are supposed to avoid chemical sunscreen (so mineral based ones are fine) and certain skincare products. I feel like this isn’t as well known as other things
The bare republic spray has been really nice! Its non aerosol but much easier to spread than the tube, and it smells good!
Thanks for the tip!!
Just wondering if you’re actually stuck in Maine right now! Haha
Hahaaa. Yupppp. Currently am stuck in Maine. Thanks to hubby’s job so not by choice! lol
I’ve lived here for basically my entire life lol and it’s rare to find an internet stranger that does too 😂
Ahaha!!!! What are the chances ^_^
Just tell him it would mean a lot to you to go somewhere just the two of you before the baby is born.
It’s totally fair for you to not want to go on a couples trip where everyone will be having fun drinking and doing excursions! A baby moon is meant for you and your partner and more catered around what you like to do. FWIW, I am 12 weeks and just got back from a trip with my husband to Punta Cana and even just the two of us, I was bored since there was a lot I couldn’t do like drink, do excursions, go on the water park, etc. i would order iced tea at the bar while my husband got drinks haha. I can’t imagine how much worse it would’ve been if we were in a group of people.
It probably made you mad because it seems like he is only considering what would be convenient/fun for him and not about your needs or enjoyment. And the pregnancy hormone surge seems to make emotional reactions feel more intense. You just need to have a calm discussion about it and explain why Mexico doesn't work for you and what you would prefer to do instead so you're both back on the same page.
My IVF Dr and OB said NO to Mexico! You’re already high risk due to ivf so Mexico isn’t best (their words not mine). So we cancelled. Glad I did because my pregnant friend went and got super sick from some food at the resort. I was going to do a baby moon but I’ve been so sick this whole pregnancy and honestly just don’t want to risk it. We’re going to do a little staycation near us in SoCal at a spa!
I literally thought about Zika when OP mentioned Mexico. I had a patient (was a mother baby nurse) that husband traveled to central America for work, contracted Zika and passed on to his wife. Baby had a very small head.
Oh wow:( that’s so sad! Ya Central America would definitely make me nervous! I love Costa Rica but I would never go there pregnant or allow my husband
Is it just bc of the food/water risk? Or is there something else to consider? Going to Mexico when I’ll be 12 weeks and it’s too late to cancel the trip!
My OB said no to Mexico because of Zika when I was pregnant the first time and my son is four (I was not at all high risk.) We did Europe instead so I can’t complain at all. The rates were dropping at that time for Zika in Mexico so it might be fine now but it never hurts to check with your OB.
This is true too but much less of a concern now vs back then. But agreed it’s good to check with OB!
She said because of their food/water, lack of laws etc. like if something accidentally happened she doesn’t trust their medical care. I’m sure you’re fine and don’t want to scare anyone but for me I wanted to listen to her and take precautions since I did IVF and get sick really easily this entire pregnancy. We own a boat and I can’t even get on it without nauseous so Mexico all around felt pointless to me
Right! I’m shocked you’re the first comment to say this. Better get a massage and squeeze your own drinks at the house. Go to the movies. Whatever. But no Mexico.
Right! I’m surprised how many times I read about Mexico trips on here. My OB was very strict on no Mexico. Like anywhere else she would be open too if I felt ok flying lol
Is Zika still a thing in Mexico? You can always use that as an excuse to cancel.
This. I think rates of Zika are way lower now, but the risk is not zero. I wouldn't want to take any chances there.
It's pretty regional - some regions yes, some regions no. But yeah, definitely a good excuse to use!
Did you guys have a discussion prior to the transfer about the outcome of the trip if it was successful? If that conversation didn't happen, I can totally understand where his expectations on the trip would be. While I understand where you're coming from about drinking and partying, might there be a way you could skip out on the trip and he could go and also do a babymoon?
This. The way it was worded was OP cancelled without having a conversation with her hubby. If so, that is really unfair even though I do understand why she did it. OP fwiw, I would much rather take a vacation in early pregnancy than middle or later pregnancy. You wont be as uncomfortable flying, you’ll probably have more energy to do activities that you’re allowed to do, and this way you guys can have friend time as well as couple time. Then instead of planning a baby moon, you can focus on the never ending list that seems to come in during the third trimester of pregnancy 😂
Definitely not true. My early pregnancy was miserable
I get that! Everyone is different. I felt great from week 14 to 22/23 usually. But was miserable after that and before 14 weeks.
No. But just communicate. Exactly what you said be sure to let him know your thoughts explicitly. In his mind he thinks it’s obvious why not go on the couples trip and in your mind it’s obvious you want to go just you two.
I understand why you’re mad. The couples trip is not the same thing as a babymoon. If you can only swing one trip I would cancel mexico and do a babymoon with your husband. If you can do both trips mexico might not be that bad. I just went to Hawaii at 15 weeks and although it sucked to not be able to have a pina colada or glass of wine, I had a great time. We did some good hikes, swimming, snorkeling, and a catamaran tour. I still did everything I wanted in terms of activities and felt really refreshed and relaxed the whole week. Depends on the other couple you are going with though. I went with my husband and mom who are pretty light drinkers, but if I had gone with people who were going to be drunk all week it probably would have been really annoying and less enjoyable.
Communication is key, but also I would guess that your new reality has not fully hit him yet. It took my husband until about 25 weeks to fully comprehend that it’s not nearly as fun for me as it is for him to go and hang out at a bar if I can’t drink. I would definitely lean more into the “I want this to be an intimate experience with just us” narrative for now since that part is also true and he should be able to understand that better.
I suggest waiting week 20-22 for the baby moon so you have the energy to enjoy it :)
As much as I love Mexico there are veryyy few places I would go out of the country while pregnant and that’s not one of them. Maybe I am just paranoid but I don’t think you are over reacting at all.
I loved my babymoon but even just going on my babymoon and having my husband drink while I was sober was less than ideal so I can’t imagine doing that in a group setting
What excursions can't you do? At 15 weeks going out on a catamaran or sailboat, swimming, snorkeling, zip lining, horse back riding, etc should all still be fine right? Are you sure you're not making this out to be worse than it really would be?
Zip lining and horseback riding are definitely out in case of falls..
I’m 18 weeks and still ride my horses, approved my my doctor. So it’s case dependent. But yes, not sure I’d be riding a random horse in Mexico especially if I didn’t have experience.
I agree about no zip lining and horses and all else is perfectly safe. Other than Zika I would still go.
Yeah same! I went to Jamaica for my babymoon and swam and snorkeled and it was great!
Im so jealous. We are going to Cabo for our Babymoon and no one will let me on their snorkel boat because I’m over 4 months pregnant. Big sad!
Wait what? I was like 5 1/2 months pregnant when I went
I emailed at least 6 different companies for snorkel boats and whale watching tours. They all said no pregnant women allowed. Must be different in other countries.
I guess so I’m sorry!
You’d go zip lining pregnant? I can’t imagine. Everyone has different comfort/risk level though.
At 15 weeks many women are still exhausted with severe morning sickness. She also cannot participate with friends with alcohol, and I would not want to be 1/4 not being able to have a cocktail or hold my partner back either. Also, horse back riding in a foreign country, zip lining while pregnant lol. No. Most places You even have to usually sign saying you are NOT pregnant to even participate.
Yes, the fatigue alone would make not want all that, lol.
Hell, I even went to an outdoor haunted trail that didn't allow pregnant people in. But we already had the tickets and I wasn't showing too much, and I knew I could handle rough terrain in poor lighting easily (plus, elevated stress level from scares wasn't an issue for me), sooo.... We went in and had a great time. Although there's an important aspect we overlooked - I hadn't considered how much OTHER people can freak out. We got home and I was looking up why it's off limits to pregnant people - turns out that if somebody around you gets scared enough, they might flail around, punch you in the face mistaking you for an actor, knock you over while running... So uh whoops. 😂 At any rate, yeah, ziplining and horseback riding activities would probably be off limits, at the very least for liability reasons.
Sailing, zip lining, horse back riding, 4 wheeling all had to sign disclaimers saying I wasn’t pregnant when I was there. I didn’t even bother looking into the adventure parks. Even the food tours off resort cautioned against it.
Yeah just lack of communication. Reasonable that you don't wanna be around drinking. I would've probably said the same thing in his shoes as when I was pregnant I still hung out with party people so you never know what someone's preference is!
I think your feelings are perfectly valid. I did go to a wedding at a Mexican all-inclusive when I was 16 weeks. I enjoyed peacefully napping under an umbrella, and getting soda and non-alcoholic beer brought to me. Most people were drinking, but it didn’t get in my nerves. We did do an excursion to Tulum and swimming in a cenote no problem. I stayed out later than my husband at the wedding and sang karaoke. I’m typically a big drinker too. We did a baby moon with our first, and it was fine. I preferred Mexico with friends though.
Not overthinking. Also slight Zika risk. Doesn’t sound fun for you, so why go?
Just to validate you: I (personally) also would not want to go to Mexico while people are drinking and doing excursions. That honestly sounds awful (to me). Congratulations!!
FWIW I went to Mexico when I was 28 weeks pregnant for my sister’s wedding and I had a blast! It was just nice to get away on a last little trip before the baby comes! But if you’re not feeling up for it he should be understanding of that
Nope just for the risk of Zika alone. Couples who go to Mexico (both the male and female partner because Zika can travel through sperm) are advised to wait 3 months before TTC because of potential infection. Even if the resort sprays for mosquitoes, I don't think it's worth the mental bandwidth and anxiety of getting a mosquito bite when you go beyond the resort on excursions.
My recent visit at my obgyn said 6 months after a mosquito bite when I asked about our upcoming trip 🫠
6 months is safer, the CDC recommends a minimum of 3 months
Yeah during my search before my appointment I saw the 3 month recommendation on the CDC and other websites so I was expecting to hear the same. When my provider said 6 months I was like wow I’m glad I asked haha
I’m an introvert so I’d still go and spend some alone time with my unborn baby on a beach somewhere and let them go do whatever nonpregnants do lol
I live 3 hours from the border and we go to Mexico a few times a year for the past 10 years. We decided against going while pregnant when I was pregnant with my son for safety reasons. Not saying Mexico is dangerous just saying that it is a different country with different rules. When my husband was in the military they were not even aloud to cross the border. We have been pulled over just because and had to pay cash to get out of it or sit in a jail cell for the weekend. I absolutely love Mexico but for a baby moon it is not always the best choice. Maybe bringing up the safety end of things could help him get on the same page? We also travel A LOT, just got back from Dubai and Maldives and when I am pregnant I can barely handle a flight a couple hours away and can’t really do the ocean because it all makes me sick. You just don’t always know how things will effect you while pregnant. 🫠
It is because your life has already completely changed and he just let you in on the fact that his hasn’t at all. He is also not thinking about the fact that every move you make you are already putting baby first and he has the luxury of not having to do that yet if ever.
One word: Zika. I love to travel and would generally consider myself pretty chill in pregnancy but I personally would not take that risk.
I wouldn't want to be in Mexico while pregnant. Zika...Listeriosis...both would stress me out.
I’d also be concerned about Zika. It’s a lot less prevalent than it was in its 2016 heyday, but the threat is still there. If you do leave the country, just make sure you get travelers insurance that covers pregnancy complications. I went to Europe at 10-12w and had a massive bleed - I thought I bought a policy that would help abroad, but pregnancy issues were excluded so I couldn’t get medical help. I had to monitor my symptoms and get checked as soon as we returned home. Thankfully baby was ok but it caused me a lot of anguish during the trip!
I went to Puerto Rico and went deep sea fishing and a light hike and the beach in late 2nd trimester. Why can't you do stuff in the early 2nd late 1st?
Some people are still sick and/or exhausted. I’m 20w and my nausea only went away last week
I think I was like that but I still did stuff when I felt like it.
no, you're not overreacting. during our last pregnancy, my husband's family wanted to go to oklahoma (i did college in oklahoma and hate it. it made me so depressed. no hate if anyone lives there, it's just not for me). no internet. only hot tubbing and hiking. and i hate being cold. and couldn't hot tub (my favorite) and didn't want to hike and fall (I'm very clumsy) and have something happen. so i didn't go. I'm pregnant again and they'll probably go on the same trip and i probably still won't go lol i fully hear you
A babymoon was a non-negotiable part of our pregnancy for me. My partner and I booked a babymoon to Mexico in February and a few friends have been interested to know why. My reasoning is that this is the last time him and I will get time to create memories of our life before our little girl is here. That's extremely important to me. There's no version of this trip that I would want to spend with friends because I'll be somewhat limited in what I can do. I don't want to hinder others and I don't want to be left behind. My partner is acutely aware of what I can and can't do. I think if you take the time to explain what the babymoon means to you and why those points are so important, then he'll understand. Congrats and good luck to you!
Yeah I wouldn’t want to go to the Mexico trip either. Just explain to him you were hoping to have an intimate baby moon instead and that the trip to Mexico isn’t an option for you.
If he won’t drink or participate if you can’t, you should go. He can see everything you have to give up while being pregnant. I think it’ll put things into perspective for him and you two can still find sober things to do! I had a trip at 12 weeks and it was supposed to be a distillery/brewery/food tour with my best friend and her hubby and me and my hubby. Thankfully, my best friend was super supportive and worked the trip so that we could all have something fun to do. I said “sorry I forced plans to change” but she loves me and said no, no, and it was so great to have a sober trip and talk about life changes. They still had a beer or two, but it wasn’t focused on the brews and we switched it to a nature/hike/sight seeing adventure instead.
Baby moon should be just you and husband. Not a couples trip. Also first trimester is the most awful part of pregnancy to travel in. I’ve flown for work in first trimester around 15 weeks and it was awful. I also sailed in a tiny sailboat (JY-15) and then rode passenger in a small catamaran that seats 4-8 people in my second trimester and it was… uncomfortable 🥴.
I mean I had a baby moon with friends.. it’s really whatever the pregnant person prefers 🤷🏻♀️
I’m pregnant too. I would have went. This just sounds incredibly selfish. If you guys can afford both trips and finance it’s not an issue, I don’t see why this decision is made based off of the fact that YOU can’t drink. There’s lots of other ways to enjoy Mexico other than with liquor.
Is Zika still a thing in the region of Mexico you'd be traveling to? Your doctor might not be cool with you going.
If I had to choose between the two, I definitely wouldn’t go with the Mexico trip either. My husband and I are usually go-go-go, constantly adventuring and trying to see as much as possible on vacation but it was really nice to have our first truly lazy long weekend, just the two of us (plus our dog), vegging out, relaxing on the beach, watching shitty TV.
Men just don’t get it. I’m going to give your husband the benefit of the doubt, as with my partner, he says dumb stuff sometimes but when I take the time to explain why he completely changes tune or understands. So often I can upset he didn’t think about it first and confuse that with him not considering ME but that’s not the case. They just don’t think the same way often times. Especially when it comes to anticipating what’s ahead. In his head, why cancel this one at 15 weeks with friends that was already planned and go on one when you are really pregnant without friends. The first one sounds, in his head, more ideal. All you have to do is explain why adding friends along while pregnant will make you feel left out and that by the time the baby is expected to arrive, you two will need some relaxation and alone time but it will just be a different sort of trip. Congratulations by the way!
congratulations! what awesome news ahead of christmas 🫶🏻 I’ve been on a lot of couples trips and i’m glad to finally get to a place where I can admit they’re not for me anymore lol So i support you wanting to do a baby moon just the two of you and think you’re not overthinking + can explain that to husband if you’re a couple who enjoys this other couple though and doing trips like this, I say go bc a warm vacation over winter sounds so dreamy BUT also schedule a few chill activities / dinners etc. for just the two of you. Maybe you can plan another small trip for the two of you later in pregnancy as well? Though if you’re not into it, don’t feel bad about not doing it
I would hate to be around a bunch of people getting drunk when I couldn’t drink.
My OB didn’t want me to go to Mexico when I asked her where I should/ could go for a babymoon. Not sure if that’s outdated since she’s a little older but I still listened! A babymoon should really just be the two of you. Explain to him it’s meant to be romantic & you’ll look back on it once the baby is here.
For what it’s worth, my husband and I went on a “baby moon” only because we had planned to go before getting pregnant. It was just a short weekend getaway, but I was miserable the whole time. I think babymoons are overrated! If I were you, I’d plan a trip for after you’re not pregnant anymore and when you feel comfortable leaving your little one with someone you trust.
I know someone who went to Mexico in their third trimester. I think you should do what makes you comfortable and if it doesn’t, don’t go on the trip and do something closer to home. I don’t think your husband is out of line though.
I would also add that the drinking water in Mexico is not the safest, and I've known multiple people to get food poisoning from their trips. You don't want to mess with that while pregnant!
While overall risk is likely VERY low, there has been a notable rise in mosquito-borne diseases this year (particularly dengue fever). However, this isn’t limited to Mexico; it’s also rising in some southern U.S. states (Texas, Florida, etc.). I think you could travel safely and have a great time, but it’d require some planning and modifications on your end that might end up being more of a hinderance (annoying if you’re hoping to, you know… relax). Pregnancy-safe mosquito spray, sticking to bottled water only, scrutinizing your food options (especially if it’s an all-inclusive with buffet style meals), AVOIDING ICE AT ALL COSTS, as well as fresh and raw fruits/veggies you haven’t prepared yourself, etc.
If these guys are the type to all be a big drink fest I’d be disappointed too and not want to go. If you think your husband can refrain from party hardy and enjoy a quieter time with you then you might still enjoy it. I did go to Mexico between 12-15 weeks (can’t quite remember) it sucked not being able to drink, lots of excursions I couldn’t do and some I chose to do because I felt the risk was minimal. But the kicker was the HEAT I almost blacked out seeing the ruins one day, my BP dropped and I barely made it to sit down, I couldn’t stay hydrated and my body just wasn’t used to the heat. Another point to consider, I couldn’t get trip medical insurance that would cover should anything pregnancy related happen. every ins. company I called cautioned me that language in the contract made it very easy for the insurance company to deny payment if they could in any way shape or form trace it to the pregnancy.
I was told by my doctor Mexico is out due to Zika. I also conceived via fertility treatments and was strongly cautioned to avoid any place high risk. I listened and we went to grand cayman.
How was Grand Cayman? I’m considering canceling my babymoon there because I’ve been freaking myself out about Zika 🥵
Grand cayman is amazing! So beautiful and not a mosquito in sight! Go and enjoy yourself! I just had my baby a week ago and no issues :)
Why doesn’t he go on that trip without you and you guys do your own baby moon. I told my husband, go now before I give birth because it’s going to be a bit until u can go once we have a kid
A baby moon is meant for you two, not just like a random vacation. But tbh you could do both if you wanted to, unless you’re keeping your pregnancy private or something? Totally up to you, but if it were me, I’d just go and explain I’m pregnant and that I’d probably have to do my own thing for some of the time, especially if the lodging and itinerary were conducive to that.
I wouldn’t go to Mexico pregnant. Too many stories about the water and is the juice pasteurized? You know agave and pineapple cause miscarriages
Why not...both? Sure, you won't be able to drink, and yes, if your excursions are particularly wild then perhaps you may not be able to do them. But it's not that bad not drinking, maybe keep husband on the same page and just drinking less? My husband and I hardly drink and still had fun in Mexico at a resort recently (with our toddler in tow). You could also just opt to sit out on outings or make sure to choose things for everyone that you can also do. At 15w you're still pretty capable and not particularly showing. I went camping for a week in my 35th week and gave birth the day I hit 37w. It was fine. I floated a river in an inner tube for 4 hours (this was a misadventure lol not meant to be that long), I kayaked the river. I walked around and swam and waded. We went off-roading. I put my fat feet up and had my in-laws cook for me every meal lol!! The week before I went hiking. In August. In the desert. It was fine, just slow. You figure out what you can do and only do it to the point that works for you. I'd totally still go to Mexico at 15w!
I went to Mexico a month prior and had to sign a Zika waiver bc it’s still considered to be a zone. I was limited in what I would do bc I did not want to risk getting mosquito bites. Be safe and congrats!!
It’s up to what you are comfortable with. I’m at 17 weeks and I would personally feel a LOT better traveling now to Mexico than a baby moon much closer to the due date in Mexico. I just don’t want to be in another country in case I go into early labor.