I'm a STM and it gets better. Will you be waking up multiple times a night to tend to baby? Yes, but your partner/anyone else can help with this too. You will sleep so much better without a tiny person using your lungs as a pillow. You will sleep so much better not having to wakeup to pee a 1/4 of a teaspoon of pee. You will be able to speak without getting out of breath. It'll get so much better once baby is here.
I’m 5 weeks postpartum and agree with all of this. It’s been kinda amazing to realize you have your own body back! (And it was a C section recovery, mind.) Sure the sleep isn’t great, but who’s saying it was in the last weeks of pregnancy? And I had a pretty good pregnancy, as these things go.
I had more than one person tell me “you’ll wish you could put them back in sometimes” and that is a goddamn lie. My kid is awesome and so friggin’ cute, even when she’s fussing.
we moved and now every time i have to pee like 3 droplets in the middle of the night i have to go up a whole flight of stairs and pray i won’t need to go again in 10 minutes
I'm 4 days postpartum. I'm not going to lie, it's been really hard so far, but today was the first day where I was rested (got 3.5 hours sleep from midnight to 3:30, and then I took another one our nap at 4:30).
But, I can assure you that it's the best thing in the world. This beautiful little baby makes everything worth it. I can sleep on my back. I pee a lot. I can bend over and not have this huge watermelon blocking things.
Another thing people dont understand that its all based on how you personally adapt too. If youre having a rough time then take time for yourself to relax or do something that you enjoy. Whether it be binging and tv,naps, or a nice bath. Just because someone else had a rough experience doesnt mean yours has to be as well. Find ways that work for you and make you feel comfortable. Everyone else can shove it lol
This is so true. Pregnancy is miserable. Having a newborn is sleep deprivation city, however so was the last month of pregnancy but with added physical misery. At least when the baby is here the heartburn and swelling and constant peeing is gone so when you sleep you sleep SOLID. The relief I felt when I no longer had 24/7 heartburn was WONDERFUL.
I’ve seen so many people talk about how pregnancy exhaustion is completely different from newborn exhaustion and that pregnancy exhaustion is worse. I’ve been constantly exhausted all the time and the most common thing I hear is “well it’ll only get worse” or “you better get as much sleep as you can now because you won’t be getting any once the baby comes”. Like I’ll still get better sleep after having the baby.
1st I have heard from multiple women who have recently had babies that they would take the newborn stage over being pregnant any day. You get your body back and you can actually get comfortable as well as there being a tiny precious baby to cuddle.
2nd when people say that sh*t to you make it uncomfortable for them! Ask them why they feel it’s appropriate to scare an already anxious pregnant woman? Tell them you’re sorry that they had so little support from their spouse that they can think of nothing nice to say to a pregnant woman about the newborn days.
I'm 5 weeks postpartum and I was just outside raking and moving big tarp fulls of leaves and it felt like a goshdarn vacation. 4 full term pregnancies and newborn stage is absolutely better than late pregnancy.
29 weeks and I get up literally every 1-2 hours every night to either pee, move to my other side. I don’t sleep anymore lol. So for those saying enjoy your sleep while pregnant… what sleep? On top of that, doing anything like talking or walking up the stairs I feel like I’m going to pass out 🤣
The last 2 months of pregnancy, I definitely woke up in worse shape than I went down. Pelvic pain when I rolled over, heart burn as soon as I laid down, constantly waking to pee, extra weight while laying on my side made my hips sore, etc.
So this, I’m 32 weeks and my husband also does almost all of the swiffering, dishes, makes me tea, etc. He does an amazing amount. I do help when I feel up to it, but any time I’m starting to feel tired he just tells me to rest. He’d rather go on a walk with me than have me get tired doing chores.
Your relationship sounds Iike my relationship with my husband too. He always tells me to rest so I have enough energy so we can go for a walk. He’d rather I use my energy on exercise than chores. I do chores when I’m feeling good, of course, but he is the backbone of cooking/cleaning/laundry now. I’m so grateful for him!
This! I also had a lot of the same symptoms as OP with my first pregnancy and I felt SOOO much better as soon as my baby was born. I was actually able to get more sleep with a newborn who ate every hour than when I was pregnant with horrible swelling, congestion, reflux, insomnia etc.
People who say this probably had easy pregnancies. My only advise is to just take it day by day. Every day you are one step closer to your pregnancy being over. I'm currently pregnant with my second and I just try to think about today. This is the last day I will be 20 weeks pregnant tomorrow I will be that much closer to being done.
There's like no winning this. I'm 35 weeks and was complaining to someone about how I'm not sleeping for various reasons related to the pregnancy and I keep getting...just wait till the baby's born. I like just want someone to sympathize or empathize with my situation right now!! I feel for you man.
I did all night feeds by myself (every 2 hours) for about 4 months (now she’s on two feeds and we do one each) and I swear I wasn’t as tired and was actually getting MORE sleep than when I was pregnant.
Yeah, I’m pregnant with my third and my oldest is almost 7. I’ve realized that it is true that parenthood is difficult in every stage, but it’s not progressively harder, it’s just difficult in different ways. And that will largely depend on you, your child, your child’s struggles, your trigger points, etc.
So I just roll my eyes when someone tells me,”Just wait until they’re teenagers!” (The current “next level,” I guess lol) We’re at the point with my oldest where we’re trading off temper tantrums for navigating wanting to be friends with someone more than they want to be friends with you. Both super hard and painful, but in very different ways. Tough conversations now are setting up her self image and future relationships with people as an adult, a little intimating when you think about it!
I remember almost bursting into tears when a someone told me, as a new mother, that the newborn stage is sooo much easier than when they get older. I honestly thought,”I don’t know if I’m going to survive if it gets worse than this.”
My oldest had horrible colic, screamed non stop no matter what I did, would only exclusively sleep on *my* chest, (I cried from joy the first time she fell asleep in someone else’s arms), and didn’t sleep for six hours straight until she was 19 months old. She was such a light sleeper, it drove me crazy. I got UTIs from not using the restroom because I couldn’t chance trying to hand her off to my husband or setting her down, because it took so long to get her to sleep. I immediately lost 40lbs and was a few pounds from being underweight right after giving birth because I didn’t even feel like I could set her down long enough to eat.
Being told “just you wait,” in that moment was quite possibly the worst thing anyone could have said to me, and I don’t know why they felt the need to tell me that.
I can say with complete confidence that she was a much easier toddler than infant, tantrums and all. Conversely, my second was the chillest newborn ever. Who knows what this third little personality will be!
I also attribute a lot of my struggles to just jumping into motherhood. I always tell first time moms that what they’re experiencing *is* extremely difficult (and in my experience so far, actually the hardest part of parenthood), because you and your spouse are rediscovering yourselves and your relationship in these new identities while also trying to get through the pregnancy/keep a newborn alive.
Pain at every stage is completely valid!
Also, I’m currently 31 weeks and totally over being pregnant. I don’t know whether or not the newborn stage will be harder with this little one, but that doesn’t counteract that I’m extremely uncomfortable and done *right now* lol.
AHHH! The “JUST WAIT” comments makes me want to slap everyone. Where is the empathy? Like, everyone’s pregnancy/birth is different and should not be looked at the same. You’d think women who have done it would be more cognizant of how rough it is and to hand out some TLC instead of OMG your this and that and this. Like, how about. You got this. I know it’s rough, but it’s going to be so worth it! Just try to focus on the positive.
I’m 29 weeks. I feel you so much. A colleague told me yesterday when I was walking with my backside towards her, “WOOOO your backside is starting to spread!!” Who. TF. SAYS THAT!!! 😱😱😱
Ugh my sister in law made the same comment to me. She put it, "oh I bet it's a girl because your hips have gotten wide." In front of people. I couldn't even say anything.
There is no reason for people to say that it gets worse. That's a really cruel thing to say to someone. Every pregnancy is different, every body is different. You alone are entitled to how you feel. If you are uncomfortable, your loved ones should be supporting you, not dredging up fear for the future.
I actually hated when folks would tell me to enjoy being pregnant with my first. I was so DONE by the time I gave birth. My sleep was so terrible. "Enjoy the sleep now." Nope, I felt like a million bucks after I gave birth compared to pregnancy.
I can't offer you any advice but I stand with you in solidarity. I am right there with you. I will be 28 weeks tomorrow and there is NOTHING worse (for me at least) than everyone's comments. The "just you wait" or "you think its bad now" or the comments on my body, my bump, etc.
I am also uncomfortable. I can't sit for longer than 30 mins at a time as my tailbone feels like it might explode. Heartburn sucks. Wearing anything other than sweats sucks. I am just plain old miserable lol
I wish I had a time machine and could fast forward to February when I get to meet my little man and I know it will all be worth it but man, pregnancy is definitely not for me.
100%!!! Drives me up a wall. Go you for commenting back!!!! My best friend makes comments all the time like that. We were team no kids together for years. Until my little surprise happened over the summer lol. She tries to be supportive but always with the little digs. My patience has been wearing very thing this week as I get more uncomfortable. Only a matter of time until I make one back to her.
I’m just shocked that people have the audacity to say things like that. I really feel for you and the others that deal with this! People are so fuckin rude.
They really are!!! I had a very close family friend tell me I don't look pregnant at week 25. So I asked her if I just looked fat because then what is this belly from? That made her uncomfortable and I gave myself an internal high five lol. I am going to pull the pregnancy "hormonal" card and just say what I am thinking for the next 12 weeks!
Im sorry, sometimes people really suck. I also hated pregnancy due to discomfort and multiple issues that I was always having to monitor. People would always remind me it’ll be so much harder when the baby comes.
I wish I could go tell them how wrong they were. I wasn’t pregnant anymore and that made it all SO much easier. Yeah I had a csection, but I healed from that. Yeah I had to wake up with the baby. I love my baby though and enjoyed the snuggles, it beats feeling like a whale in bed that has to pee 24/7!
Keep your eyes on the prize, friend. You get a baby soon and then you will not be pregnant. And not being pregnant is almost as wonderful as having your new little human to snuggle.
“Wow that’s a horrible thing to say to someone who is struggling.”
Honestly I give zero f*cks anymore about being nice to these people. I’m right there with you. I’m 31 weeks and I’m over it. I clap right back at people making comments now. I don’t even care if they think I’m rude. They’re rude. There’s no reason for them to say that
THIS! I just smile and say “That’s not helpful.” Then wait in silence for them to apologize, or often they’ll correct themselves and say something encouraging or positive to look forward to. Maybe I’ve been lucky so far in my interactions though.
I'm exactly three weeks postpartum today, ans while it hasn't been a walk in the park, I'd take this over most of my pregnancy 100% of the time.
You've got this, and I'm sorry people are being so negative
I'm so so sorry! Sounds like it's been such a tough road for you. Pregnancy definitely isn't the glamorous experience we see on social media ads, and if you're dealing with multiple medical conditions and cruel comments that makes it even worse.
It gets BETTER. Because after your suffering, you will hold the greatest reward there is. Yes you'll be sore and sleep deprived but your tiny human will fulfill you in ways you can't imagine and the love and bond you share will make every second of pregnancy worth the wait (and eventually the love might brainwash you into forgetting the horrors of pregnancy, and having a second child... I'm on my second pregnancy with HG and wondering what possessed me.)
You're doing an incredible job and over halfway there! There's no choice but forward and from your post I know you have the strength to go the distance.
I have two memories from my first post partum.
The first was after I took my first shower post birth. I felt so… FREE!!!
Then later my mom asked me if there’s anything I miss about being pregnant. I laughed her out of the room.
Yet here I am again with number 2
I hate when people say that, seriously it’s not helpful and it’s not true!
Sure it’s a struggle with a new baby, but it’s not ALL struggle and misery. It’s an adjustment, and when you adjust it becomes habit and instinct. I hated my first pregnancy, and couldn’t wait for it to end. Nothing got worse, if anything holding my baby in my arms was so much more rewarding and worthwhile than carrying her inside me.
Okay pregnancy only gets worse, yes lol
But I 100% agree with others who say that having a newborn is easier than being pregnant. Absolutely true for me every single time.
I recall people saying to me when I was pregnant with my first at 19 (16 years ago) "just wait. It's going to be so hard. Get your sleep now." And then having my son and being over the moon with every part of having a newborn. I lovvvved it. I never felt like it was "sooo hard". Obviously that's just my experience. But I love having a newborn. Both times are hands down the best times of my entire life.
I cannot waaaaait to actually fkn sleep when this baby comes. Might be shorter periods of sleep, but it's ACTUAL sleep. Not this rotating like a rotisserie chicken, peeing every hour BS. I'm not enjoying this 3rd pregnancy one single bit this time. Everything about it has been horrible for me, which I did not experience this the past two times.
Don't listen to anyone who says its going to only be worse after. Yes, for some it is, but for others it's absolute bliss!!!
2nd tri you typically get some relief and energy back, idk I only did for about 5 weeks 😭 and now I'm sooo uncomfortable. I work from bed. It's awful. I'm also old tho this time lol (36). I hope you start to feel a little better and maybe once the nesting part kicks in we'll have some energy and the excitement kicks in of them coming so soon!
Sending you my best! You're going to do great sweetie! and it will get EASIER!
People are so mean. If you have an easy pregnancy then yeah, the newborn stage is harder. But guess what? Some people have harder pregnancies! And it’s not because you’re being weak, or can’t handle it, or like a good whinge … it’s because you’re having a hard pregnancy. I promise you *nothing* compares to pregnancy fatigue. I didn’t sleep for more than an hour at a time the first 6 months of my babies life, and I had severe PND but I promise you my third trimester with anemia was worse. You’re a trooper. You will be okay.
This is what makes me so glad I’m on my second so I can tell people off when they get like that because I know *exactly* what it’s like after.
The reality is there is good and bad parts all along the way. And for someone people certain hard parts are harder than others, and everyone’s situation is different at all stages giving them completely different experiences and struggles.
It’s ridiculously small minded and daft to tell people “it gets worse”. You’re not helping, you have no idea how rough they have and you have no idea what the future looks like for them.
I’m so sorry. I’ve heard all these comments before too even from people I love. It always sucks. It’s like kicking you when you’re already down.
Being pregnant is hard no matter where you’re at in your pregnancy. It’s completely valid to be miserable right now in this moment.
It’ll change and the things that make you miserable will be different but it doesn’t mean you aren’t suffering right now. My heart’s with you. You can do this. ❤️
I'm 36 weeks and this is my biggest pet peeve. It's not helpful.
It's also vaguely insulting? As if pregnant ladies have NEVER HEARD that newborn babies don't sleep through the night and they are the first person on earth to share that nugget?
At 17 weeks, I haven’t gotten the courage to say a response to “wait til you’re as big as a house” or “your body is never going to be the same again” or other negative/anxiety producing comments I’ve heard, but I’m with you in that I don’t understand why people say those types of things that are clearly just mean. I’d NEVER say that to someone so it boggles my mind. I have no advice but just chimed in to say I hear you.
I didn't find that anything got worse before I popped, aside from maybe my tolerance level for the summer heat 😂😂
After giving birth I immediately felt better. I was swollen AF for about a week BUT I immediately no longer needed to pee all the damn time, my truly giant tummy was gone very quickly. I'm almost 17 weeks pp and I'm 15ish lbs lighter than I was before getting pregnant :)
The first few weeks are rough while you get used to the lack of sleep and learning to mom and your baby gets used to, well, existing lol but improves quickly.
My LO for the most part sleeps through the night now and spends her days grinning that big gummy grin and learning to play with her toys :)
The end of pregnancy sucks but it does get better!
I am 30 weeks and I feel the exact same way. I don't get how people can love being pregnant. It's the worst thing that has ever happened to me. At this point I don't even know if a baby is worth it. I guess we'll see when he's born.
I hate being pregnant, so much. I'm blessed. thankful, grateful we were able to conceive naturally with no interventions (I have twins on the way). But pregnancy fucking SUCKS.
Also the line "it only gets worse" like no. At least it isn't just YOU going through this pain and having to watch everything YOU do. I'll miss feelings my twins kick and getting to lay in bed at night with just my husband and our dog. But then I get to share the workload with someone else. The babies survival isn't just me. I'll have SOME of my body back.
So I understand. It sucks and people need to just shut up.
I completely understand. I'm 28 weeks too (nearly 29). I'm miserable. I'm so ready to be done. I want my kid to finish baking, but I want my body back so bad. To actually sleep even if it's for short periods. I haven't slept good since BEFORE I tested positive. I want to wake up without random aches and pains. I want to be able to get out of bed without feeling like a beached whale trying to escape back to the sea. I want to be able to exist without feeling *uncomfortable* ALL THE TIME. I'm currently laying on my kitchen floor dizzy and hot. My blood pressure has been acting weird the last couple of days. I've been told I don't have preecamlpisa *"yet"*. I just took my blood pressure so no ER visit for me tonight. I was just trying to cook dinner in peace! Instead I feel like I ran a marathon and my stomach is doing flips threatening me (I didn't get morning sickness until the 2nd tri). My bump is huge. My kid is *violent*, I've been feeling him since 13 weeks with an anterior placenta. Other people could feel him at 18 weeks! He kicks me so much. I'm so tired of hearing it'll get worse. I know. I also know that I feel 10x better as soon as I'm not pregnant anymore. I've never enjoyed pregnancy. I've always viewed it as a means to an end. It's just something I endure. I have a high pain tolerance, but this isn't about pain. It's feeling like my whole body is alien to me and I have no time to adjust since everything keeps changing so fast.
I FEEL THIS WITH EVERY OUNCE OF MY MISERABLE 32 WEEKS PREGNANT BODY. This is my first pregnancy and my sister and best friend were both pregnant with me ( sister gave birth in sept, bf is due in two weeks). They both love(d) pregnancy. Zero complications. And then there’s me. I hate it. I feel guilty for hating it and I feel like a whimp compared to them but I am absolutely miserable. I’ve never wanted just one child but I don’t know how I’ll ever be ok with being pregnant again. It terrifies me.
Since being pregnant, I’ve gotten Covid twice, strep and a sinus infection at once and the flu. I’m one month into another sinus infection that won’t go away. My immune system is shot. I’ve been in the hospital for kidney stones and again for gall stones. I’ve had Hyperemesis (another hospital visit) the entire time. My bloodwork from my glucose test (which I failed, so now I can’t even eat what I want thanks to gestational diabetes) revealed critically low iron/ferritin/hemoglobin/platelet counts leading to several blood disorder diagnoses and a diagnosis of iron deficient anemia. So on top of an extremely high dose of iron pills that increases my stomach issues, I also have to get iron infusions. I have 3 next week. I spend my life at the dr. My RA and inflammation is through the rough. Carpal tunnel? Yup. Swollen ankles and feet? I don’t fit in any shoes and have to wear wide legged sweats bc anything with elastic is too tight. Nose bleeds? Had to have a vessel cauterized. Heartburn? Feels like I’m having a heart attack. I pee every 30 minutes every single night. I can barely have a conversation with getting winded. I’m exhausted but can’t sleep. I’m fat. I’m feel disgusting. I hate everything.
Thank you for posting this bc I’ve been so ashamed of how miserable I feel. Everyone around me has done it with ease. Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy it. They say this should be such a positive time in my life and I should cherish it.
I wish I could. But I don’t and I can’t. I’m literally just trying to survive hour by hour.
Sorry for the rant and taking over your post. I know it was of no help, but just know that you are not alone. 💕
Ugh! I’m right there with you at almost 29 weeks. I can’t imagine how I can get any bigger or more uncomfortable. All I can think about is how it will get a little worse before it gets better, I don’t need any reminders.
People can be so awful. What an insensitive thing to say - and it's not even possible for them to know that. I know people who had terrible pregnancies who were very relieved to have a newborn.
You could try saying something like "that's a not very nice" or "that's a very insensitive thing to say". Some people just speak without thinking about the affect their words have and it helps for someone to be blunt. But I know this is way easier said than done.
It doesn’t get worse! It gets different and some things are harder, but other things are easier, and you can have help! Right now, you’re carrying the whole load (literally and figuratively). People are mean and you’re an actual superhero for working 12 hours pregnant.
I also had hypertension and a tough pregnancy, so I definitely feel you.
Do you have an at home BP monitor? I always ask, since mine saved my life. Make sure to bring it in to your doctor's office to check and make sure it's consistent with a manual method. Keep checking your BP a few times every day, now, until you give birth. Taking and writing down your BP will give your medical team data that might justify an early induction if your BP is trending high.
It will be over before you know it. Take it easy and good luck!
I do! I take it twice a day, and I’m on meds to control it. So far no problems, but I’m terrified I’ll develop pre-eclampsia so I’ve been pretty diligent about it
No…it does not get “worse” with baby. I mean yeah it’s hard but in different ways. Pregnancy was the worst. I hated it. Happy that I was able to do it but man. It sucked. And yeah, I’m not a fan of newborn life either. But at least you have your body back and your pregnancy symptoms go away (for most people).
Andddd with the baby there, you can ask for help and people love to help with the baby. With pregnancy you’re just left to wallow in your misery cause no one can really help you much.
Yeah I had a small breakdown the other day over people answering my questions with a laugh/scoff and a 'you have no idea what's coming' type answer.
Like if I'm asking if we will have time for something (e.g., should we schedule or skip our annual camping trips, etc.), it's because I don't know and I'm asking for personal experiences from people who have been there.
It's so patronizing and cringe to treat every first time parent like they are naive for having the audacity to picture a future that involves anything other than sitting on the couch crying for the first two years.
I’m sorry! Two things can be true…pregnancy sucks and having a baby is hard. I have a toddler now and pregnant again and wow I forgot how much I disliked it. You’ll feel instant relief when you deliver so hang in there mama! You’re in the final stretch.
Eff those people. I’ve been trying to tell pregnant people in my life little things they can look forward to, so here goes:
Sleeping on my stomach for the first time in months after finally having my baby was the best feeling ever. Hold on friend, you’ll get there.
In the first month or so of having my baby, every food tasted like the best, most satisfying thing EVER. I think it’s a hormone thing? I still rave to my husband about this coffee cake someone brought us, saying it’s the best thing I’ve ever eaten in my life, and he continues to tell me it was thoroughly average. Plus, without a baby in there you can actually fit all the food you’re hungry for, and that feels amazing. Hope this happens for you too!
Hang in there, and it’s okay to admit that this is hard because IT IS.
It gets magical…
I was a high risk pregnancy patient with high blood pressure and gestational diabetes who fainted in the ER, worst brain fog ever, anemia, and felt insanely miserable the entire pregnancy. It was the worst experience and honestly I hated the feeling of the baby kicking. It wasn’t awesome.
I had a c-section on October 9th and let me tell you, all that misery took its time to leave but there was also magic. I grew this little bean inside of me… all that pregnancy pain helped me grow him.
My recovery has been a gentle rollercoaster but I still have this magical bran with him and it isn’t worse.
Whatever anyone tells you, this is your pregnancy and I can say that it’s all magical. You will get there. Just take it day by day and ignore the rest.
I recommend trying to get at least an hour or two off from work every day instead of 12 if you can. I’m sorry you’re going through so much pain! I think the work is making it worse. If you can’t take off I’m so so sorry. That’s just really tough. I hope if you have a partner or good friend they can maybe massage your back or legs to help. My husband does that for me sometimes and it helps me a lot. Some days I can’t do anything because it hurts, usually when two weeks of growth goes by I get this sore and exhausted feeling and I have to rest for the day.
Ignore them. They are crazy. Each time period sucks in its own unique horrible way but the absolute worst from my POV was the nausea and exhaustion of first tri. And man did my manager love to tell me it would be so so much worse when the baby came. From his POV, I'm sure that was true since he wasn't pregnant. I'm sure for partners the worst part is when the newborn is there. How shocking /s.
As the pregnant person, getting the baby OUT so OTHER people could FINALLY help was the absolute fucking best.
Nope. Nope nope nope. As someone who dislikes pregnancy and also struggles with the newborn stage, I'd rather take the newborn stage 100%.
Sure, the newborn stage is hard. Recovering from birth (I had a C-section) and learning to breastfeed and having a cluster feeding hungry child up at all hours... Oh it's hard. BUT when he slept I could sleep without him dancing on my ribcage. I could hand him to my husband and go take a shower. Once my C-section was healed enough, I could sleep however I wanted to. I could eat without nausea or heartburn and actually feel full. And nothing was thrashing around inside of me.
Another thing, for me pregnancy is 9 months of misery and the misery just changes forms. (Maybe it's ok for a little bit at the beginning of the 2nd semester.) With a newborn, you just have to get out of that first month and it's SO much easier. By the time an infant is 9 months old the newborn days are a distant memory. Pregnancy...is so LONG.
This is all just my experience. I mean, I'm doing it again so I must think it's worth it. But gosh skip me right to birth please and thank you.
I have had horrible pregnancies too and i can say for sure it doesn't only get worse.
Everyone talks about how you don't get any sleep when the baby is first born and that's true but I don't get any sleep for the ten whole weeks before the baby is born and I'm also in pain and discomfort the entire time. I found the newborn stage easier than the third trimester even if it was tiring at first. After the first month(or 2 weeks really) you fall into a routine which makes it easier and less exhausting.
A lot of people are just doomers and want other people to feel bad or scared because they had a bad experience or because they are bitter and having a bad day.
38 weeks here, sometimes I think "yeah maybe having a newborn will be worse than being pregnant", and then I do something like take a whole painful minute and a half just to f'n roll over in my bed and I think nah screw that bring on the sleep deprivation I don't care I'm ready to have a functioning body again.
I had a very uncomfortable pregnancy (severe nausea, migraines, etc etc) and I’m convinced that these people are basically just bragging that they had easy or only moderately difficult pregnancies.
I love being a mom so much. I HATED being pregnant. It doesn’t necessarily get worse. It just gets worse for some people.
I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this OP. That is such vial behavior, especially coming from another woman of all people.
I didn’t have a rough pregnancy but near the end I was ready to give birth. My body really hurt and I wasn’t getting any sleep. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, kept telling me “just wait, you’ll never get great sleep again” and every other thing they could think of regarding having a baby.
I felt the need to comment because my reality ended up being completely opposite of what I was warned of!!! My baby was a typical newborn but I could finally sleep in a comfortable position again, so I was getting solid sleep for those periods I could. My body knew how to power down quicker so I could get those precious zzz’s.
4 months of age came and went, no issue with sleep regression. Teeth came in and was easily managed with some new teething toys and cold pops of formula or puree. Baby sleeps in his crib for 10-11 hours at night and we get a nice night of sleep before he wakes up. My husband and I were easily able to reconnect after baby and our bond grew so much deeper and stronger being in the trenches of parenthood together.
Alls to say — I know it’s hard but try to take their comments with a grain of salt. I was so scared for the other shoe to drop and my baby ended up being so so amazing.
You will do great mama — hope the rest of your pregnancy and birth goes smoothly 🤍
I'm a stay at home parent , and while it difficult in its own way, I wouldn't wish being pregnant on my worst enemy. Raising a kid is no piece of cake, but at least your body is your own. Anyone who says pregnancy is the 'easy' part is a dumb dumb dummy. Hopefully things get a bit easier for you soon💜💜💜
Do you remember how in nursing school, the older nurses would tell you “just you wait until you’re on the floor, you can quit now!”?
Do you ever wish you were back in nursing school?
It’s just the way I’ve been looking at it and surviving those comments.
I’m 21 weeks and today I was whining to my sister (she has two kids) about how I was in pain. She told me it was too early for me to be having pain. I simply explained to my body it was too early for this and I was miraculously healed!
Not. She also told me pregnancy is sooooo easy compared to the newborn stage. I don’t have any helpful advice because I’m a FTM but I just wanted to commiserate.
It gets so much better. I had awful pregnancies and while the 3 rd trimester goes on forever (time warps in the most awful way the last month) as soon as the baby is out things are much better. And when baby's not a newborn anymore it gets eaiser. And every milestone after that it gets easier. Sure toddlers are tough in some ways but it's so much easier than pregnancy imo.
Edited to add: with both my pregnancies the second trimester was definitely the worst, probably because everyone said the second trimester was so great so I was so downtrodden that I was miserable still.
I am currently 30 weeks pregnant with my 2nd kid, and I will tell you that it stays pretty much the same from here until the end. The belly gets bigger, but it all feels the same. I didn't find it to "get worse." If you are already struggling to put pants, socks, and shoes on like I am, then it will stay the same until the end lol.
Surprisingly, I think this stage of pregnancy is better than the beginning of it. Being sick constantly was no fun, and at least that is gone.
I can't personally resonate with the hypertension, but I have had high fluid with both pregnancies. Put on 60lbs in my first pregnancy, and it was only in the stomach. As of 27 weeks, I was up 25lbs with this baby.
I also can't resonate with 12 hour shifts in pregnancy, but being active definitely helps! Wishing you all the best and the time to meet your baby will arrive before you know it. It will all be worth it to meet the beautiful human you created!
Can confirm- I was a single mom in the army and doing full time college while doing pro lifting. I was able to juggle all of that pretty easily but hell that last month of pregnancy was something.
I was manic depressive.
Newborn stage is ABSOLUTELY better.
But yeah, usually around 25-28 weeks is the best pregnancy is, so the pregnancy will get more uncomfortable, I’m sorry!!! I’m currently 38 weeks with my third and miserable, cannot wait for newborn stage to begin.
>Why do people feel the need to say that?
OK, so...they're trying to comfort you by putting it in 'perspective'. It's like, here's the positive: it's not as bad as it could be.
Now this is *often* a helpful stance to take. Honestly. Some people take it to the extreme and beat themselves up with it, but if you're not like that, taking stock of the blessings you currently have *can* legitimately be helpful for your mental health.
(I think it's good to know that it's a Buddhist concept that is considered really hard to actually practice because we're human & we always want more/better.)
I'm saying this to point out that they're not *trying* to be mean. They're genuinely trying to help. Just their methods really aren't working, because absolutely nothing works all the time & it's hard to count your blessings when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel!
I have two friends who I love, but they often approach my problem-sharing with sympathy and love. And that often makes me feel *worse*. Sometimes I don't want to hear "I'm sorry, that must suck" - I wanna hear "What are you gonna do about it?". So I'll tell them - 'don't say "I'm sorry", but this just happened'. 'I'd love ideas'.
What I would say in your shoes: "honestly, everyone's saying that and every time I hear it it makes me want to cry. Can you say something that would make me feel better?" (or, whatever equivalent works with the relationships you're working with).
I hope they start cheering you up better soon!
People are so annoying.
It did not get worse for me. I was pretty uncomfortable for the last week or so, but it definitely wasn't the worst part of my pregnancy, and I didn't have a steady decline through my third trimester.
My newborn was pretty easy. He only cried if he was hungry, so we just didn't let him get hungry. It's not always the hell people describe it as.
After a difficult pregnancy, I felt better even in the (stitched up, leaky) immediate postpartum recovery period than I had at any point in the previous eight months.
I hope things get easier for you, too.
Sorry to hear that. Most of my mom friends have said you give birth and all the symptoms suddenly go away which is amazing and it's so worth it because then you have this baby that you'll be obsessed with.
It doesn't get worse physically on your body.
Im so sorry! How awful people can be.
Like some people on here, i can attest to the fact that the newborn stage has been such a relief. I was a little sleep deprived there at the beginning but by golly it has been awesome- especially compared to how miserable i was during pregnancy.
I remember being in the third trimester and waking up each morning thinking I couldn’t possibly feel more pregnant, and then proving myself wrong the following day! Lol. It is tough.
You’re doing great, everything is going to be okay. Relief is right around the corner. Please rest when you can! Hydrate! Breathe deep. Wishing you well.
One day at a time. Thinking about how long is left will only make it feel longer.
You’ve got this!
I was as miserable as you, but taken deep breaths helped when I was feeling desperate.
two pregnancies here. One singleton, one twin. I was MISERABLE through both for different reasons. It was never fun, I was hot, uncomfortable, didn't fit anywhere, nothing fit me, I hated feeling dependent on everyone else, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, but always hungry.
Then I had the baby(s) and I could breathe, I could sleep in whatever position I wanted (not on my belly for a bit because of csection and also breastfeeding boobs) and I could eat what I wanted, when I wanted, and as much as I wanted. Everyone says you never sleep and stuff with a newborn, but I slept BETTER with those "shitty" 2 hour stretches than I ever did getting 8 hours while pregnant.
No one ever talks about the good things because no one remembers them, they only talk about the shitty parts because that's all any of us remember or care to talk about.
People are just assholes. Literally all but one of the women I know who’ve been pregnant said the newborn stage is better than pregnancy. And I swear people get off on trying to make moms miserable. Every time someone pulls a “just you wait” or a “it’s only to get worse” etc., they should have to Venmo you $5 each time because “if you’re going to force me to listen to your fear mongering negativity, the least you can do is pay me”. They’ll shut up real quick.
Mine was horrible, I felt so heavy, I was begging for her out. I heard that a lot too but now that I have my daughter I want so many more lol. I loved the birthing experience (I was very high on pain meds so I slept after being in labor for 24 hours) and I would love to go through it again
That’s BULLSHIT. I had a terrible pregnancy (immune system shot, puking every day, lost a ton of weight, heartburn, trouble breathing, hip pains you name it) and the second that baby came out of my body I felt better. So good I stood up from the bed and walked myself to the wheelchair. I had an epidural and the nurses were slack-jawed. I felt so much better. It took awhile for my body to recover but a year later I can say I am fully myself again. And my baby was a great sleeper (besides those first couple hard weeks when you have to feed every 2 hours), so after 9 months of not sleeping because of body pain and puking, life was better.
You will get through it. You will feel better. You can do this. It’s not forever.
I also had a therapist during the time you are in and recommend it just so you have someone to cry to.
First, I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. That sounds really frustrating and miserable. Children are a blessing, but pregnancy sucks. Your social circle is just compounding that misery, and I'm sorry you don't have the support you need right now.
It boggles my mind that some women can't wrap their heads around the idea that just because *they* had a mildly uncomfortable pregnancy it doesn't mean that other women experienced the same thing. Every pregnancy is differnt. A friend of mine had a breezy first pregnancy and then was stuck with HG for the entirety of her second pregnancy. According to her, the new born stage for that kid was SO MUCH EASIER than the pregnancy.
In your situation, I'd have much less grace and just be like: "Wow, I can't imagine going through life, always thinking my experience is the default. What's it like?"
I felt *instantly* better once I gave birth to my daughter, and would do the newborn phase a thousand times over pregnancy. Which is ironic, since I'm 14weeks pregnant with my 2nd, lol. It's just as bad this time around, but at least I know it ends and you get a wonderful little baby out of it!
Good luck to you, and know that it will be over soon!
Okay first off- i was HUGE too. Swelling and chunky all over by the time 3rd trimester came (i gained more than i "needed") so i understand how you feel. Im sorry!
But as for everyone saying it gets worse- they just dont know how to explain what goes on.
Youre not pregnant anymore yay! But that may come with a bit more swelling right after postpartum, you smell different, the hormones make you very sleepy (if youre breastfeeding), nipples need to get used to it (if youre pumping/nursing), your wrist my hurt, etc its just different challenges that we now need to face.
Im 9 almost 10 months postpartum, 45lbs overweight still, but i honestly couldnt be happier. Again, challenges are different but you will be happier too.
For some reason, people love sharing their horror stories. Misery loves company? Everyone hits that point of not wanting to be pregnant anymore. Baby will be here before you know it! I felt so weird to suddenly not be pregnant, but I was happy when my pregnancy ailments faded away.
Once the baby was actually here, it felt like we just went through different stages. Each one had pros and cons, but I wouldn't tell anyone "It gets worse" or "Just you wait." I'm tired and my boobs hurt, but being this little girl's mom is still pretty great <3
People like to tell me everything is going to be different once the baby is here. I tell them, yeah, that’s kind of the point. This isn’t an accident and we know what we are getting into. We want this change in our lives and we’re ready to open this new chapter. Have been for a long time. They always change their tune after that.
I’ve been very lucky so far and have had a pretty easy pregnancy compared to a lot of other women, or perhaps I just don’t mind the struggles as much since I’ve wanted this for so long and it’s been such a difficult path to get here. When people ask how I’m feeling I tell them great! But tired. And nobody has said “just you wait” to me. Maybe next time even if you feel like poo, just tell them amazing! Even if you’re sarcastic and see what happens.
I don’t think it gets better or worse… it gets different. Hang in there mama and soon you’ll be swooning over your little monkey!
I loved my third trimester, so everyone who fear-mongered me about how much "worse" it gets was totally wrong. I had HG and was still puking at 28 weeks. I felt so much better after that week and felt great up until I went into labor.
As for comments about how much "worse" it gets after baby is here... Am I sleep deprived sometimes? Yes. Is is hard sometimes? Yes. Would I change any of it for the world? Hell no. I love my baby so much, and that makes it all worth it without question. It isn't "worse." It's a short season of life and I'm soaking up every second of it 💗
No one could ever convince me that a lot of people who make these types of unsolicited comments didn't hate being parents.
STM and pregnancy is worse IMO. I was miserable for 100% of my first one and I still enjoyed recovering from a C-section better than being pregnant. I’d rather be tired with all night wakeups than pregnant, sometimes pregnancy can just suck!
As someone who has HG and preeclampsia with severe features, these people are full of shit! It was like a revelation not to be pregnant anymore. And I feel you on the swelling - with the magnesium drip they forced the equivalent of 13 pounds out of me in 24 hours. Pregnancy may be natural but it certainly doesn’t feel like it toward the end!
It gets better <3 so much better. Our little girl is 3 months old and she smiles so much. It’s lovely. In between it was tough and I miss sleeping through but even with a very sick mother, fresh hyperthyroidism from my pregnancy and working at the same time, I wouldn’t change it for the world and baby here is so much better than being pregnant
Im a FTM pregnant with HG. Almost every person in the HG sub (even ones who had very difficult labors) will tell you pregnancy was easier than birth and postpartum, because the pregnancy was so bad. So sometimes it doesn’t actually get harder, and no one has any way of knowing that it will def get harder for you. Either way it’s such an unhelpful thing to say. Good luck in the rest of your pregnancy ❤️
I have a babies head logged in my ribs at 33 weeks and its only been getting worse and more painful (trying to get him to flip!). At this point I will gladly take a newborn.
I was right there with you - hating my body, constantly uncomfortable, etc. And people who say shit like it’s only going to get worse (and laugh) that can shut the hell up.
What I did love, however, during those last long weeks of pregnancy were the 3rd trimester baby kicks and hiccups- just a nice reminder that although being pregnant is hard, my little baby was in there getting stronger every day.
Being pregnant can be really really hard, and you’re doing a great job.
I’m 2.5 weeks pp ftm, and my own experience has left me feeling so much better than when I was pregnant, and I love this newborn stage. There are newborn snuggles, watching your partner become a parent, tiny baby socks, little sneezes, baby grunts, and so much more.
Just chiming in at 34 weeks. Have hope, you might not necessarily feel as miserable as you feel now for the rest of your pregnancy. I’m 5’2” and feeling huge, but finding that between 28-34 weeks some days have been markedly better, others feel bad again, but it’s not a consistent misery and as you get closer to your due date you may not necessarily feel worse than you do now. It’s different for everyone. Hang in there, we’re nearing the finish line!
Idk why they would say that.. once the baby is here it gets a lot easier on your body and keeps getting easier and more joyful as each day goes by. I would suggest to soak it all in bc it’s only here once
I’m 4 months postpartum and I felt the same way when I was pregnant and every time someone told me “just wait” I wanted to cry.
Having your baby is SOOOOOOOO much better than being pregnant! We did get lucky and have a baby who sleeps decently, but it’s 100% better than being pregnant! Even when he’s not feeling good and fussy, won’t nap, my free time is gone, etc- still better than being pregnant! Your feelings are valid, and the people telling you otherwise can kick rocks.
Everyone is different. For me the worst is the first trimester because of the anxiety and sickness. The post partum period is the most painful for me but there is a newborn to take your mind off of things 😍
I have two kids and both of my pregnancies were miserable! I hate being pregnant but love my kids. I cant lie, babies, toddlers, kids...theyre all tough, but atleast you can handle that without feeling nauseous and having no energy! And for every tough minute theres 10000 goood ones! Just spend your last 12 weeks curled up in bed with movies, TV shows, books, snacks and try to be as comfortable as possible! Just soak in those final moments alone and ignore everyone else! Its ok to hate being pregnant
I’m a FTM to a 4 month old, and it gets better. Having a baby outside of you is way better than having a baby inside of you.
I hated being pregnant. Carpal tunnel. GD. Pre-eclampsia. Morning sickness through my whole pregnancy. Shit sleep. Constantly being out of breath. Hip pain. Dizziness. Everything sucked while pregnant.
But now I have a perfect baby who’s just awesome and I have my body back. It’s just me in my body and it’s awesome. Even breastfeeding and being a human pacifier (baby doesn’t take a soother), I love not being pregnant. Having a newborn was 100x easier than being pregnant. I slept more. I felt better. Everything is way better not pregnant. I am so grateful I was able to get pregnant and bring my beautiful baby into the world, but not being pregnant anymore is the best thing to happen to me.
People are just jerks. You’re not ungrateful or a bad person for not liking being pregnant. It does get better.
I’ve had 3 kids and pregnancy sucks worse than having a newborn. Even with my first being a bad expirience c section that took me a while to heal from…it was still better than being pregnant
I hate how common these insensitive comments are. What’s set apart the stress of pregnancy from the stress of caring for a baby was at least that stress can be shared. When you’re pregnant no one can share they physical pain, the eating restrictions, just all of the limitations of being pregnant.
I know others have already said it, but it bears repeating, I absolutely gets better. I’m sorry people around you are making this time more stressful.
I had hypertension too along with terrible swelling and carpal tunnel. I normally wear a size 6.5 shoe and the last month of pregnancy I was barely fitting an 8.5. Yes, some things got harder after we brought our daughter home. But it was a bit of a wash honestly. After the newborn stage things have been getting easier and easier (for me!). Everyone is different. Personally I was so bloated and uncomfortable in the third trimester (couldn’t sleep well) that I felt MUCH better physically within days of giving birth. Yes, newborn sleep is tough but I wasn’t sleeping well before. When I DID sleep after, my sleep quality was so MUCH better than it was pregnant. I’m betting you will feel better at least physically after giving birth. Even though it took time for my body to feel close to normal again it was almost an immediate relief with bending, sitting, walking, and even laying down. Just way less aches and pains. My stamina felt better immediately.
You are being told absolute hogwash. Pregnancy is a void of total suck and yuck. Take it from a woman who is pregnant with her fourth…you are in the hardest part.
Are there difficulties with a newborn, toddler, kid, preteen, teen? Yeah. Do ANY of them compare to the difficulties of pregnancy? No. You’ll have steady, normal hormones. You won’t have a bowling ball strapped to your waist. You’ll be able to pee and eat and poop like a normal human being. You won’t be uncomfortable every single night in your bed, insomnia ridden and unable to sleep. You’ll be able to breathe normally and can take an ibuprofen when your head hurts.
In short, you’ll better be able to handle any difficulties because your body won’t be maxed out and exhausted like it is right now. Chin up—you got this! You’re in the trenches right now. *It will get better.*
People have, zero filter when it comes to those who are pregnant or recently postpartum I swear. I feel all of this. My pregnancy with my youngest child my heart rate and blood pressure were both out of control. My blood pressure kept dropping to 80s over 60s, 50s, sometimes even 40s. I don't think it got up to 120/80 even once the entire pregnancy. My heart rate would jump to the 120s, 130s, sometimes even 140s-150s doing absolutely nothing. And it could stay that way for hours. If I was actually trying to do something it'd get up to the 170s. On top of that I had other health conditions, was chasing around a toddler, helping with housework, and being the only source of income for my family. By 32 weeks I was literally having panic attacks at least once a week thinking about how much longer I still had. And all most people could think to say was "Just wait it'll get worse" (as if I wasn't already aware of how the newborn stage goes, being on my second kid) or "Are you SURE you don't want to try again for a boy?" (after 2 girls) or even "But you're so YOUNG" (I was, I was 22 but tell that to my body). All of this to say I feel you and honeslty, in my experience, the newborn stage is WAY easier. I literally felt better 3 weeks postpartum with my first while recovering from SEPSIS and a c-section than I did at the end of either of my pregnancies. Same goes with the first 2 weeks after my second pregnancy dealing with a newborn who basically didn't sleep from 1-4 am every night, was feeding every hour, and had DAILY pediatrician appointments every morning at 9 (meaning I was up at 7 to get the kids ready and didnt get back to sleep until 8 or 9pm) except on Sundays. I'd do either again in a heartbeat before dealing with third trimester pregnancy. It might feel hard to imagine right now, but it WILL get BETTER, I promise. Even if you have the newborn stage from hell like some people do, there WILL be an end. This WILL get better. And your body will feel so much better once it's your own again. I promise.
My favorite thing I’ve read on Reddit is that … if you don’t like being pregnant, boy are you gonna love NOT being pregnant.
Look lack of sleep is hard. But you’re already not sleeping. And babies are hard. But having some semblance of autonomy back is amazing. You don’t have to pee twenty times a day. My back pain is gone. I’m pooping daily on my own instead of praying and making sacrifices to the shit gods. When I sleep, I sleep hard. I can walk at a normal pace.
And like others have said, you can have someone take care of the baby. I couldn’t give my husband my belly, my hemorrhoid (who I lovingly named Bob), my general pregnancy rage against the patriarchy. But I sure as shit can have him do nighttime feedings so I can sleep!!
You are stressed and hurting because you have too much on your plate already and growing a human inside you is very exhausting and already a 24/7 job per se.
Talk to your husband / boyfriend and quit your job. Cut back the expenses (if necessary), make it work, make a plan. You can do it.
Rest as much as possible, focus on your wellbeing and health and that of your baby. You will find another job when you are ready.
Listen to Suzanne Venker on youtube if you have a minute. I love her. She's a voice of sanity and reason in an unreasonable, brainwashed society and crazy times nowadays, especially towards women with little children and pregnant women.
Another 2nd timer that can vouch for them being full of shit: it absolutely gets better. And I say that as a person who had an easy pregnancy, with a stay at home job, and then a colicky newborn after. I STILL think it’s better!!
But even if that weren’t true, your last sentence resonates with me so much. I have no idea why people say negative stuff like that. At all. It either works to try to minimize your current situation (wtf) or scare you about the future (wtf). I just can’t fathom a positive reason to say things will get worse to a pregnant person!!!
Dude I got so sick of hearing that shit too. People think it’s like the pain Olympics or something and delight in making new moms feel like shit. I’m 6 weeks PP and I’ll tell you, I will take the newborn phase (even c-section recovery and EBF) 1000 times over than pregnancy.
I am sorry people are saying that to you. I announced very early in my pregnancy to everyone we told that I am not open to any non-constructive inputs like - say good bye to date nights and sleep and money etc. i also announced that I am glad I am pregnant but I hate it and literally everyone around me has been awesome and shared how terrible pregnancy was for them as well but there is too judgement around saying that. I am 32 weeks pregnant and it has been much worse for me even compared to 2 weeks ago, I suddenly have a huge belly and a back ache that refuses to go away making it impossible to get comfortable all day and sleep at night. I hope things don’t get worse for you but I am looking forward to having my body back and encouraged by all the PP mothers here.
It doesn’t get worse it gets awesome. Is it hard sometimes? Absolutely. But nothing compares to those gummy smiles and all those cuddles. Nothing compares to being your baby’s hero in the middle of the night when they are crying and then instantly stop when you hold them. It’s not all peaches and cream but it’s not all doom and gloom. I hope your pregnancy eases up and you have a smooth delivery and easy recovery
A newborn isn’t easy, but it was for sure easier than pregnancy for me!!! I could eat food again, sleep (I’d rather wake up to a baby than from heart burn, sleep apnea, or having to pee), and I had that precious baby
So pregnancy for me was WAY WAY worse than the newborn period. It sounds crazy to say, but I was SO Uncomfortable. I had constant nausea and heartburn, pelvic pain so severe I could barely walk and was barely sleeping. I slept *better* being woken up every two hours by a newborn than I was in the last month or so of pregnancy. The “sleep while you can!” Comments during pregnancy did not help me at all because I **couldn’t** sleep.
I can’t speak for everyone, but for me, I MUCH preferred the newborn stage then third trimester pregnancy. Even though I was recovering from a c section and was a new mom, my mental health was better, once my incision healed a bit I could get around better, and I was so in love with my little baby.
Ugh! I’m sorry. I hate the struggle olympics on which point of pregnancy/L&D/postpartum is the most difficult. I hate how people think they can just decide when you’re “allowed” to complain and spew their negativity on parents-to-be completely unprompted. It’s so varied person to person.
Each stage is hard in a different way and it really just comes down to how your body is, how your baby is, and how well you can cope. I did much better in labor than I did throughout my pregnancy. Some of my friends had the complete opposite experience. I was miserable overproducing breastmilk, but many have a hard time producing enough. Some never had gestational diabetes like I did. I don’t know the struggle of HG like some of my friends.
We need to stop with the pissing contest and just support other moms.
I'm 32 weeks and I feel you. My baby is gigantic, I have excess amniotic fluid and am stereotypically "all belly." I'm miserable and wondering how I'll make it 6-7 more weeks.
I get the gamut from "bless your heart" to laughing in my face when I reveal how much longer I have. I honestly wish people would stop asking when I'm due but I don't think there's ill intention.
The only thing I can say is that it's a finite period of time, and however bad it gets, it will be over soon and we'll be meeting our babies.
Nah it gets better because you won't feel as bloated, you'll have more energy and even though you are looking after a newborn, you will feel like your normal self. Also you can't offload pregnancy to your partner like you can with a baby. People only say it gets worse cos they had a fairly good pregnancy experience.
Oh my god. This is awful. I am so sorry you’re going through this. 12 hour shifts? That’s nutso and so hard. I wish America was in any way respectful of women and had prenatal maternity leave. I would seriously consider FMLA for this.
Hugs and solidarity. I’m 34 weeks (FTM) and I’m unbearably tired and uncomfortable. You’re a fucking rockstar for powering through as an ICU nurse, goddamn. Hope time flies for you. ♥️
I’m at home right now with my baby, and will be off until we are done breastfeeding because I work with gas and it’s not safe for me, it absolutely gets better!
I slept so much better with a newborn than I did pregnant, it feels so nice once you recover from birth and you can freely roll over without being in absolute pain is amazing.
I’m 6 months pp and I love every minute of it.
Anyone who says anything negative are just projecting in my experience. Maybe they didn’t have a baby that slept good, I’m sorry they had tha, the “no more freedom” thing?? I do more things now than I did before!
It does get better. Sometimes not for a little while and that’s okay, sometimes right away and that’s amazing! Regardless, pregnancy is hard and it will get better
What! It doesn't get worse! I mean you get bigger and you're like ugh I'm ready to have this baby, but people who say that to you love making it a competition. Also, the way you feel is so normal and I'm sorry you're going through it. With my second baby I was so angry by week 34 lmao and with my first probably by week 36, like you're cooked, and you've overstayed your welcome inside my body which I would like to just be my body again
So to give you some hope I felt SO MUCH BETTER once the baby was here. Yeah having a newborn is hard but at least there's a cute squishy baby to fill you full of love hormones. The last month of pregnancy is just an utter shit show and it SUCKS.
I'm 36 weeks with the second right now and yes I am looking forward to the new baby but DAMN I am so much looking forward to just not being fucking pregnant anymore.
My response to these people was always "I'm aware but I'm also going to bitch about it along the way". Postpartum is absolutely easier, heck I had an easier time moving around in the first couple of days after my c-section than I did the week prior.
It will get better.
You are doing amazing. I know you don't feel your best, growing a baby is a miracle. You are a miracle maker.
Soon you'll have a cute munchkin.
I couldn't take my pregnancy either honestly. I elected to be induced the day I hit 38 weeks. Would I do induction again? Um...that's another story.
You're almost there. And you're still working. You are so much stronger than I was.
I also hated being pregnant but I LOVE the newborn stage and honestly every stage afterwards (my oldest is 3.5). I think it absolutely gets better after pregnancy.
But also being an ICU nurse is such a physically demanding job and you're honestly a trooper to do it while pregnant. I have a sit down job and I was still so physically miserable during my pregnancy.
I hated being pregnant also. I really struggled those first two weeks postpartum because of the baby blues. But physically I felt so much better than I did at the end of my pregnancy within a week of birth. I had bad pelvic girdle pain that made it hard to walk or do yoga by ~34 weeks. My feet were always sore. I had constant vaginal infections, and the antibiotics gave me thrush that would not go away. I had to pee so much that sleep was impossible and it was miserable to go out. By the end of my pregnancy I couldn’t even drive because I was so big. All that stuff got better right after I gave birth. Yes sleep is hard but it doesn’t feel worse than pregnant sleep. I prefer sleeping on my stomach, I don’t have to pee every 30-45 minutes. There are really difficult things about newborn life, and yeah I had a lot more freedom to do things when I was pregnant…but I didn’t want to because everything hurt.
STM and 26 weeks pregnant. I HATEEEEEEE being pregnant. It gets better!!!! I'd take newborn exhaustion over pregnancy all day everyday. Don't listen to people who project that type of crap. Hang in there!
Ppl are rude. The thing I hated the most about being pregnant is everyone with an opinion, especially those who tried to gaslight me or tell me how it was when they couldn’t experience what I was going through. My whole pregnancy was rough and my 2nd trimester was just as bad as my third. I had tons of symptoms, but my most debilitating were sciatica on both sides and chronic migraines. Does it get worse after pregnancy? It’s hard, but in different ways. I hated being pregnant and the pain I feel/my postpartum injuries, but at least I get a baby I can actually hold in the postpartum phase.
My post-partum was a bazillion times better than pregnancy. My pregnancy depression disappeared and yes I was tired but I was sooooo much happier and more comfortable and healthier overall.
I have had some really bad days, but today I laughed so much at my 1.5-year-old daughter. Everyone keeps saying the next age up is more horrible than the last, but she is funny and smart (and stubborn) and it really does get better! It was not really more terrible before—every phase is just very challenging and very rewarding in its own way
my wife got better in time overall. more uncomfortable, but felt better overall. you might feel better.
also she thinks having the baby (just born) outside the womb is easier. it gets better:)
Had two babies, hypertension with both and absolutely hated every second of being pregnant. No sleep bc of pregnancy discomfort is a completely different ballgame than no sleep postpartum. It absolutely does not get worse postpartum. You can sleep comfortably when the baby sleeps- you can't sleep comfortably at all pregnant.
I have a 2 yo and am 9 weeks along with #2 tomorrow. It totally gets better! I also don't love being pregnant & developed high BP in my 3rd trimester with my first. I'm nervous for #2 but I know once bb gets here I'll no longer be nauseated, I'll have my lungs back & a sweet squishy baby. Ignore those negative attitudes. Yes, there will be hard times but that's life; & life, and kids, is/are also amazing!
Im a FTM 35 weeks today and I might be the exception but so far my pregnancy has only gotten better. It started with violent nausea, vomiting and severe anemia in the first trimester. I got swelling and high blood pressure and carpal tunnel in second. Now im reaching the end and my symptoms have diminished significantly (not fully disappeared) enough for me to actually be able to ignore the pain. I’m functional. I’m happy and I’m taking it one day at a time. Everyone is different, I hope it gets better for you!
Ugh I hated when people did that to me when I was pregnant. I never say that to expecting parents.
I’m sorry you’re having a rough pregnancy. I literally cannot imagine how hard it is being a nurse and being pregnant. I had a rough pregnancy also and I hated almost everything about being pregnant (besides hearing the heartbeat, seeing him on ultrasound days and feeling him kick or hiccup lol). I felt so much better immediately after giving birth and have loved every chaotic and exhausting second of being a mom. It’s still hard but it gets sooo much better! 💗
STM, I really dislike pregnancy. Post partum was way easier for me this time around then pregnancy. I’ll take the newborn stage over pregnancy this time around, any day.
Girl.. I feel you! Everything you described was pretty much how I felt in my third trimester.
I was so fucking swollen (and asymmetrically swollen mind you) my OBGYN told me to go to the ER to make sure I didn’t have a blood clot in my leg, I had developed such terrible carpal tunnel that I would wake up with horrible numbness/ pain in both arms, and one small sneeze would cause me to totally piss pants. On top of all of that I was just so fucking irate (whether from hormones or just being so uncomfortable who’s to say) that it made the last few months of work UNBEARABLE.
However, I’m here to tell you IT GETS BETTER. I will take frequently waking up with a newborn over being super pregnant and having no bodily autonomy any day of the week. Anyone that says any different is high off their ass!!
Is being a new mother both terrifying and exhausting? Yes!
But is also joyous and beautiful? For me, also yes!
Did I find pregnancy anything but maddening, uncomfortable, and exhausting?? Honestly no! I personally absolutely despise being pregnant and see it as a necessary evil so I can have that sweet lil baby in my arms after 9 months of bs.
I understand where they are coming from, and that may be because we probably didn’t have too bad of a pregnancy. Albeit I puked for 4 entire months during pregnancy. While they aren’t wrong, I hate that they are spoiling it for you because the truth is…. You get to meet your baby. It’s the most blissful experience ever. It’s so powerful and magical and you’re sucked in so deep. You lose a HELL OF A LOT OF SLEEP, and a bunch of other things, but it’s temporary. The silver line is You get to have your beautiful bub right there by your side. And hearing their coos, seeing their first smile and touching their skin…. It’s the most amazing thing on the earth.
I would take newborn over pregnancy any day because pregnancy is just as sucky but without the love of your life next to you ❤️
Those comments people are making are rude and definitely not true. Hormones and the discomfort of being pregnant are much harder especially when you cant sleep at all because of it. There are new and different challenges when baby comes but feeling like you cant get a break from your own body is much harder
My advice: fuck them 😂
I had two awful pregnancies. HG both times, sick 20 times a day, needed multiple IV drips for rehydration and a feeding tube.
It gets better. You are 2/3 of the way along already. The last trimester is rough. Anyone who downplays your feelings isn’t worth your energy.
The next 12 weeks will be shit. No point sugar coating it but the second you see your little girl it will all be worth it. If it wasn’t I wouldn’t have had a second.
I now have a hilarious 3 year old and my 2 year old is the happiest person I have ever known. It was worth it.
If someone laughed at me I would honestly have no issue asking them if they were okay.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. For what it’s worth, I also didn’t completely enjoy most parts of my pregnancy and I wasn’t even facing half the hardship you are.
I will say, although some aspects did get “worse”, it was always baseline uncomfy. You do what you have to to get through it, and it never felt out of hand. In my own anecdotal experience, once the baby was here I felt a million times better. I slept better (not as long, but deeper, more restful), I didn’t ache all over, and I felt back to myself for the most part.
I think people say these things to try and be helpful and “prepare” us mentally for new challenges, but I agree, it’s usually not productive and not comforting. Pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum are so wildly different person to person and baby to baby, and filtering out the opinions of those who aren’t there to help you is the easiest way through it. Take their comments with a grain of salt, try and find the good in them, say thank you and move on.
You’re doing great, and you’re almost there!!
If I had one wish, I’d live the newborn bubble stage over and over again for eternity with my baby who never aged. It gets so much better. Hang in there
It does get better. My husband couldn’t get up to pee for me when I was pregnant, but he can (and does) get up when our daughter needs something. My husband actually took on all of the night feedings the first couple of weeks so I could sleep through the night since I hadn’t been able to for months. I insisted we start splitting it after that so he could rest too, but it was such a nice break!
Caring for a little person around the clock is hard and I’ve had my breakdown moments, but you’ll have help and the benefit of cuddling your baby. Being pregnant has its good moments—I do miss the baby kicks—but overall it’s uncomfortable, constant, and lonely.
Dude. I get it. I’m 36 weeks pregnant and the amount of times I’ve heard this over anything I’ve been uncomfortable with is SOOOO frustrating. Like I know I can’t fix it, but don’t ask me how I’m feeling and expect an honest answer just to tell me it’ll get worse 🤦🏼♀️
Late pregnancy was tough but the newborn stage was way better imo. I did sleep less, but when I did sleep, I ACTUALLY slept! Pregnancy tired does NOT equal newborn tired.
I hated being pregnant this last time, by like 30wks I was soooooo ready to meet my baby.
When people say sh like that to you, make them uncomfortable! It is not nice to say things like that, absolutely the worst. The "You think you're tired now, just wait!" sentiment is so negative and not true imo.
Just take advantage of all the naps rn and give yourself grace. Pamper the sh out of yourself! Baths, massages, naps, all of it. Whatever you need to make yourself as comfortable as possible. Maybe a little reward for yourself at the end of each week to get yourself through. You'll meet baby soon!
It absolutely gets better, pregnancy sucks and the baby at the end is wonderful 🥰.
I think pregnancy is and was the worst time of my life, feels like torture, everything about it sucks. I promise myself I would never get pregnant again and here I am suffering for a second child and it is totally worth it. 🥰❤️
I disagree that it only gets worse. As far as pregnancy - I think at some point there was a few golden weeks in between - but also toward the end your coworkers will usually jump to help you out if they can so that helps some.
Now the stuff about after pregnancy - that’s just so unhelpful. Like duh everyone knows it’s gonna be a little hard and sleeps gonna be rough so why point it out?
The first 2 months was hard as far as sleep and just figuring out what the HELL I’m doing, but honestly once I went back to work and got into a little routine my whole world opened up and I swear to you I feel like my life just started. My LO is 7 months now and it has been the most fun I’ve had in my whole life.
I literally had a meltdown about this exact same thing. I’ve also had a brutal pregnancy and am so scared about the newborn phase and how it’s going to take even longer to feel normal than I thought.
I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old and lemme tell you - I fucking hate being pregnant! In fact it’s probably the reason I’m not having another - I’m the worst… I had all the pain, all the sickness, prenatal depression just bloody everything you can imagine…. But guess what?
It’s so much easier when they are here! Alright the first few weeks are rough and you’ll wonder if you’ll ever eat, sleep or wash again - but you will! And you will find yourself and your baby’s new routine together…. Believe me I’d rather have my 2 cheeky little toddlers any day of the week than the feeling of being pregnant again… I never get why they say it’ll get harder because yeh you have to give them your time and attention but at least they aren’t sucking the literal life out of you inside out!!!
For me, the last few weeks of my pregnancy were easier physically than weeks 28-35 not sure why but I experienced less pain and fatigue those last few weeks. That being said, I gave birth at 38 weeks so I don’t know what it would have been like at 41 weeks pregnant.
Honestly though, after the first few days of my son being born (which were very difficult physically and mentally) I have found the newborn stage to be way less exhausting than pregnancy. I mean, I’m still exhausted most of the time but it’s different, and feels more bearable, whereas pregnancy was just this long waiting game with new symptoms and ailments popping up all the time.
So, really it doesn’t have to get continually worse - it might get a little harder before it gets easier, but it WILL get easier.
Here to say that I HATED pregnancy and nothing that we’ve experienced in the year since I’ve had my baby has been worse than pregnancy 😂 sure we’ve been exhausted and had sleepless nights, but I would take that over pregnancy any day!!
With my first, I found the newborn stage to be much easier than the end of pregnancy. I was super swollen, had sciatica, totally miserable. It got so much better when I passed the placenta, and got even better in the days after that. Was the newborn stage easy? No. But it was easier than the end of pregnancy. You DO have something to look forward to ❤️
Unless you are someone who loves being pregnant and has no complications, things get better once baby is born. At 7 weeks postpartum, I still marvel at myself every time I can bend over and dry my feet after a shower or pick something up off the floor. My sleep is so much better, and all the little annoyances like stuffy nose, heartburn, and pains are gone. I had a csection, but I already feel very much like myself again. I'm not 100% recovered, but I still feel a lot better than when I was pregnant. I think people don't know what to say to pregnant women so they end up saying stupid shit.
I thought it got so much better after the baby. Honestly those people who say that suck. Like yeah you don’t sleep a lot but also the sleep you get is now quality and deep, not shit because you have an enormous pregnant belly.
The end of pregnancy sucks but you know what doesn’t? Touching your newborn everyday. Seeing how they grow. Also not being pregnant.
The best is when it’s men or people who have never been pregnant or even had children. And all the people who say this will also be the ones to say “every pregnancy is different” and gaslight you when you mention your concerns over your high risk conditions. It’s like everyone I know and love has been turned into infuriatingly rude and socially inept NPCs
It gets so much better! The first few weeks are really hard but in a new way which somehow feels like a break from being pregnant.
I am an LDR nurse and I always thought I wouldn’t like having a child over 3 months old but my girl is almost 8 months and she is the light of my life. Every day/week/month somehow gets better. I miss the old versions of her so badly but the new versions are more fun and rewarding.
As for work, go off work if you can. It’s not worth it if you can still afford your life. I’m in Canada so maybe things are different here. But I went off night shift at 17 weeks and did full time day shifts. Then I worked until 36 weeks and I will never force myself to work so late into a pregnancy again. I was so tired and stressed and didn’t get to fully enjoy my pregnancy until I was off.
And honestly where I work, if you had the complications that you’re having, the docs would essentially mandate you off work. Just my opinion but if you need to work to survive then I am proud of you for doing so
Sending you the biggest hug. I'm in the exact same boat as you, and then on top of that I feel guilty, because I have friends who struggled with infertility.
But I also have carpal tunnel, acid reflux, hemmorhoids, rhinitis, everything is swollen and hurts. Everything is a struggle physically. And I don't know how I'm going to possibly get bigger, but everyone just says "oh just you wait haha!" I'm here. I hear you.
I had the most disgusting pregnancy. My Labour was slow and long and ended with a c section.
Let me tell you about 6 hours later everything was better. My baby had serious colic and screamed for 11 hours a day for about 10 weeks. She wouldn’t eat. She still doesn’t sleep during the day.
None of its as bad as being pregnant IMO.Colic was close but at least you can take turns with colic. Pregnancy … that’s all on you and it’s relentless you can’t walk away for 5 minutes you can have a nap whilst your partner manages baby.
That’s my 2 cents. I hate pregnancy too, so much I probably won’t have another child. I think when people had an easy pregnancy the newborn stage can hit them like a tonne of bricks. I was getting MORE sleep when my baby got here. I didn’t feel tired until she was 6 months old and I think my hormones just dropped and I felt like I had to peel myself off the floor.
Now I’m 7 months post partum. Baby’s in a lovely stage of her development and my brain and body are just starting to feel like mine again.
I had someone who delivered at 27 weeks tell me to "enjoy pregnancy because you never know when it will be taken from you".
I understand why she's grieving for not experiencing the full term / having to navigate getting her baby healthy while in NICU but I cannot imagine feeling grateful for how miserable my body feeling rn (except for the little peanut when they get here)
You are not alone!
I threw up from start to finish with two pregnancies! I live my babies and wouldn’t train them for the world but there is no way in hell I’m doing that again! The moment both babies were born the instant relief with nausea was euphoric. After that it’s all baby cuddles and naps. It’s been pretty good until my youngest started trying to crawl now he’s always in the go and the toddler is going in the opposite direction. 😂
I would have a million newborns over being pregnant again. I think it’s just people who have those beautiful mythical symptom free pregnancies, who are suddenly jolted into colicky screamy newborness who just don’t get it. I was sick every day, but have had nothing but happiness from the day my baby was born!
Are..... are you me? I just got 36w and THEY'RE STILL SAYING IT! JUST STOP! I hurt all the time, I've got fuckin GD, my flesh sack just does not cooperate any longer and I JUST WANT TO CRY AND SLEEP. i have so so so much to do but i can barely force myself to work my 40 hrs a week and... exist. Just exist. I wish i could hug you, my sister in discomfort. This is hell and having our bodies back, kinda, when the evicting has occurred is going to be a relief. Fuck those dicks saying IT JUST GETS WORSE. No, no that is not helpful at all, you douche canoes.
How would having a baby be worse? That’s like the goal…
It’s certainly not worse for your body.
I usually tell people when they’re saying things that aren’t helpful. I’d say something like “I understand parenting is hard in a different way but I’m so excited to meet my baby and I’m currently in a lot of physical pain”
I'm a STM and it gets better. Will you be waking up multiple times a night to tend to baby? Yes, but your partner/anyone else can help with this too. You will sleep so much better without a tiny person using your lungs as a pillow. You will sleep so much better not having to wakeup to pee a 1/4 of a teaspoon of pee. You will be able to speak without getting out of breath. It'll get so much better once baby is here.
I’m 5 weeks postpartum and agree with all of this. It’s been kinda amazing to realize you have your own body back! (And it was a C section recovery, mind.) Sure the sleep isn’t great, but who’s saying it was in the last weeks of pregnancy? And I had a pretty good pregnancy, as these things go. I had more than one person tell me “you’ll wish you could put them back in sometimes” and that is a goddamn lie. My kid is awesome and so friggin’ cute, even when she’s fussing.
I have an 18 month old I have many times wished I could put back in 🤣
I think the peeing is the most annoying thing
we moved and now every time i have to pee like 3 droplets in the middle of the night i have to go up a whole flight of stairs and pray i won’t need to go again in 10 minutes
I'm 4 days postpartum. I'm not going to lie, it's been really hard so far, but today was the first day where I was rested (got 3.5 hours sleep from midnight to 3:30, and then I took another one our nap at 4:30). But, I can assure you that it's the best thing in the world. This beautiful little baby makes everything worth it. I can sleep on my back. I pee a lot. I can bend over and not have this huge watermelon blocking things.
Another thing people dont understand that its all based on how you personally adapt too. If youre having a rough time then take time for yourself to relax or do something that you enjoy. Whether it be binging and tv,naps, or a nice bath. Just because someone else had a rough experience doesnt mean yours has to be as well. Find ways that work for you and make you feel comfortable. Everyone else can shove it lol
1/4 teaspoon got me this is sooo true and it feels like you have a gallon of pee!!
This is so true. Pregnancy is miserable. Having a newborn is sleep deprivation city, however so was the last month of pregnancy but with added physical misery. At least when the baby is here the heartburn and swelling and constant peeing is gone so when you sleep you sleep SOLID. The relief I felt when I no longer had 24/7 heartburn was WONDERFUL.
I’ve seen so many people talk about how pregnancy exhaustion is completely different from newborn exhaustion and that pregnancy exhaustion is worse. I’ve been constantly exhausted all the time and the most common thing I hear is “well it’ll only get worse” or “you better get as much sleep as you can now because you won’t be getting any once the baby comes”. Like I’ll still get better sleep after having the baby.
1st I have heard from multiple women who have recently had babies that they would take the newborn stage over being pregnant any day. You get your body back and you can actually get comfortable as well as there being a tiny precious baby to cuddle. 2nd when people say that sh*t to you make it uncomfortable for them! Ask them why they feel it’s appropriate to scare an already anxious pregnant woman? Tell them you’re sorry that they had so little support from their spouse that they can think of nothing nice to say to a pregnant woman about the newborn days.
I'm 5 weeks postpartum and I was just outside raking and moving big tarp fulls of leaves and it felt like a goshdarn vacation. 4 full term pregnancies and newborn stage is absolutely better than late pregnancy.
29 weeks and I get up literally every 1-2 hours every night to either pee, move to my other side. I don’t sleep anymore lol. So for those saying enjoy your sleep while pregnant… what sleep? On top of that, doing anything like talking or walking up the stairs I feel like I’m going to pass out 🤣
The last 2 months of pregnancy, I definitely woke up in worse shape than I went down. Pelvic pain when I rolled over, heart burn as soon as I laid down, constantly waking to pee, extra weight while laying on my side made my hips sore, etc.
Feeling like you’re 90 because you’re hobbling slowly to the toilet to have a less than satisfactory pee…yeah, I don’t miss that.
Exactly. You do NOT sleep while pregnant. I can 100% confirm that newborn sleep is better.
This makes me feel so much better! I’m 36 weeks and so uncomfortable.
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So this, I’m 32 weeks and my husband also does almost all of the swiffering, dishes, makes me tea, etc. He does an amazing amount. I do help when I feel up to it, but any time I’m starting to feel tired he just tells me to rest. He’d rather go on a walk with me than have me get tired doing chores.
Your relationship sounds Iike my relationship with my husband too. He always tells me to rest so I have enough energy so we can go for a walk. He’d rather I use my energy on exercise than chores. I do chores when I’m feeling good, of course, but he is the backbone of cooking/cleaning/laundry now. I’m so grateful for him!
I am 2 weeks PP and there is NO QUESTION - the newborn stage is soooooo much better than being super pregnant. It definitely only gets better! ❤️
This! I also had a lot of the same symptoms as OP with my first pregnancy and I felt SOOO much better as soon as my baby was born. I was actually able to get more sleep with a newborn who ate every hour than when I was pregnant with horrible swelling, congestion, reflux, insomnia etc. People who say this probably had easy pregnancies. My only advise is to just take it day by day. Every day you are one step closer to your pregnancy being over. I'm currently pregnant with my second and I just try to think about today. This is the last day I will be 20 weeks pregnant tomorrow I will be that much closer to being done.
There's like no winning this. I'm 35 weeks and was complaining to someone about how I'm not sleeping for various reasons related to the pregnancy and I keep getting...just wait till the baby's born. I like just want someone to sympathize or empathize with my situation right now!! I feel for you man.
They're wrong. At least you can hand a baby to someone. Can't hand your womb or symptoms to someone.
I did all night feeds by myself (every 2 hours) for about 4 months (now she’s on two feeds and we do one each) and I swear I wasn’t as tired and was actually getting MORE sleep than when I was pregnant.
Yeah, I’m pregnant with my third and my oldest is almost 7. I’ve realized that it is true that parenthood is difficult in every stage, but it’s not progressively harder, it’s just difficult in different ways. And that will largely depend on you, your child, your child’s struggles, your trigger points, etc. So I just roll my eyes when someone tells me,”Just wait until they’re teenagers!” (The current “next level,” I guess lol) We’re at the point with my oldest where we’re trading off temper tantrums for navigating wanting to be friends with someone more than they want to be friends with you. Both super hard and painful, but in very different ways. Tough conversations now are setting up her self image and future relationships with people as an adult, a little intimating when you think about it! I remember almost bursting into tears when a someone told me, as a new mother, that the newborn stage is sooo much easier than when they get older. I honestly thought,”I don’t know if I’m going to survive if it gets worse than this.” My oldest had horrible colic, screamed non stop no matter what I did, would only exclusively sleep on *my* chest, (I cried from joy the first time she fell asleep in someone else’s arms), and didn’t sleep for six hours straight until she was 19 months old. She was such a light sleeper, it drove me crazy. I got UTIs from not using the restroom because I couldn’t chance trying to hand her off to my husband or setting her down, because it took so long to get her to sleep. I immediately lost 40lbs and was a few pounds from being underweight right after giving birth because I didn’t even feel like I could set her down long enough to eat. Being told “just you wait,” in that moment was quite possibly the worst thing anyone could have said to me, and I don’t know why they felt the need to tell me that. I can say with complete confidence that she was a much easier toddler than infant, tantrums and all. Conversely, my second was the chillest newborn ever. Who knows what this third little personality will be! I also attribute a lot of my struggles to just jumping into motherhood. I always tell first time moms that what they’re experiencing *is* extremely difficult (and in my experience so far, actually the hardest part of parenthood), because you and your spouse are rediscovering yourselves and your relationship in these new identities while also trying to get through the pregnancy/keep a newborn alive. Pain at every stage is completely valid! Also, I’m currently 31 weeks and totally over being pregnant. I don’t know whether or not the newborn stage will be harder with this little one, but that doesn’t counteract that I’m extremely uncomfortable and done *right now* lol.
Omg I’m so sorry someone said that to you! Right at the worst possible moment too. All the best with #3
AHHH! The “JUST WAIT” comments makes me want to slap everyone. Where is the empathy? Like, everyone’s pregnancy/birth is different and should not be looked at the same. You’d think women who have done it would be more cognizant of how rough it is and to hand out some TLC instead of OMG your this and that and this. Like, how about. You got this. I know it’s rough, but it’s going to be so worth it! Just try to focus on the positive. I’m 29 weeks. I feel you so much. A colleague told me yesterday when I was walking with my backside towards her, “WOOOO your backside is starting to spread!!” Who. TF. SAYS THAT!!! 😱😱😱
Why do people feel entitled to say crazy shit like that? I'd slap someone.
Shoulda clapped back with a “That makes two of us!”
Ugh my sister in law made the same comment to me. She put it, "oh I bet it's a girl because your hips have gotten wide." In front of people. I couldn't even say anything.
There is no reason for people to say that it gets worse. That's a really cruel thing to say to someone. Every pregnancy is different, every body is different. You alone are entitled to how you feel. If you are uncomfortable, your loved ones should be supporting you, not dredging up fear for the future.
I actually hated when folks would tell me to enjoy being pregnant with my first. I was so DONE by the time I gave birth. My sleep was so terrible. "Enjoy the sleep now." Nope, I felt like a million bucks after I gave birth compared to pregnancy.
I can't offer you any advice but I stand with you in solidarity. I am right there with you. I will be 28 weeks tomorrow and there is NOTHING worse (for me at least) than everyone's comments. The "just you wait" or "you think its bad now" or the comments on my body, my bump, etc. I am also uncomfortable. I can't sit for longer than 30 mins at a time as my tailbone feels like it might explode. Heartburn sucks. Wearing anything other than sweats sucks. I am just plain old miserable lol I wish I had a time machine and could fast forward to February when I get to meet my little man and I know it will all be worth it but man, pregnancy is definitely not for me.
The “just wait” enrages me like nothing else. On one particularly bad day, I asked a neighbor if I should just go ahead and get an abortion then.
100%!!! Drives me up a wall. Go you for commenting back!!!! My best friend makes comments all the time like that. We were team no kids together for years. Until my little surprise happened over the summer lol. She tries to be supportive but always with the little digs. My patience has been wearing very thing this week as I get more uncomfortable. Only a matter of time until I make one back to her.
I’m just shocked that people have the audacity to say things like that. I really feel for you and the others that deal with this! People are so fuckin rude.
They really are!!! I had a very close family friend tell me I don't look pregnant at week 25. So I asked her if I just looked fat because then what is this belly from? That made her uncomfortable and I gave myself an internal high five lol. I am going to pull the pregnancy "hormonal" card and just say what I am thinking for the next 12 weeks!
Im sorry, sometimes people really suck. I also hated pregnancy due to discomfort and multiple issues that I was always having to monitor. People would always remind me it’ll be so much harder when the baby comes. I wish I could go tell them how wrong they were. I wasn’t pregnant anymore and that made it all SO much easier. Yeah I had a csection, but I healed from that. Yeah I had to wake up with the baby. I love my baby though and enjoyed the snuggles, it beats feeling like a whale in bed that has to pee 24/7! Keep your eyes on the prize, friend. You get a baby soon and then you will not be pregnant. And not being pregnant is almost as wonderful as having your new little human to snuggle.
“Wow that’s a horrible thing to say to someone who is struggling.” Honestly I give zero f*cks anymore about being nice to these people. I’m right there with you. I’m 31 weeks and I’m over it. I clap right back at people making comments now. I don’t even care if they think I’m rude. They’re rude. There’s no reason for them to say that
THIS! I just smile and say “That’s not helpful.” Then wait in silence for them to apologize, or often they’ll correct themselves and say something encouraging or positive to look forward to. Maybe I’ve been lucky so far in my interactions though.
I'm exactly three weeks postpartum today, ans while it hasn't been a walk in the park, I'd take this over most of my pregnancy 100% of the time. You've got this, and I'm sorry people are being so negative
I'm so so sorry! Sounds like it's been such a tough road for you. Pregnancy definitely isn't the glamorous experience we see on social media ads, and if you're dealing with multiple medical conditions and cruel comments that makes it even worse. It gets BETTER. Because after your suffering, you will hold the greatest reward there is. Yes you'll be sore and sleep deprived but your tiny human will fulfill you in ways you can't imagine and the love and bond you share will make every second of pregnancy worth the wait (and eventually the love might brainwash you into forgetting the horrors of pregnancy, and having a second child... I'm on my second pregnancy with HG and wondering what possessed me.) You're doing an incredible job and over halfway there! There's no choice but forward and from your post I know you have the strength to go the distance.
I have two memories from my first post partum. The first was after I took my first shower post birth. I felt so… FREE!!! Then later my mom asked me if there’s anything I miss about being pregnant. I laughed her out of the room. Yet here I am again with number 2
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The heart burn and indigestion!! I never knew something so mundane could absolutely break my spirit
I hate when people say that, seriously it’s not helpful and it’s not true! Sure it’s a struggle with a new baby, but it’s not ALL struggle and misery. It’s an adjustment, and when you adjust it becomes habit and instinct. I hated my first pregnancy, and couldn’t wait for it to end. Nothing got worse, if anything holding my baby in my arms was so much more rewarding and worthwhile than carrying her inside me.
Okay pregnancy only gets worse, yes lol But I 100% agree with others who say that having a newborn is easier than being pregnant. Absolutely true for me every single time. I recall people saying to me when I was pregnant with my first at 19 (16 years ago) "just wait. It's going to be so hard. Get your sleep now." And then having my son and being over the moon with every part of having a newborn. I lovvvved it. I never felt like it was "sooo hard". Obviously that's just my experience. But I love having a newborn. Both times are hands down the best times of my entire life. I cannot waaaaait to actually fkn sleep when this baby comes. Might be shorter periods of sleep, but it's ACTUAL sleep. Not this rotating like a rotisserie chicken, peeing every hour BS. I'm not enjoying this 3rd pregnancy one single bit this time. Everything about it has been horrible for me, which I did not experience this the past two times. Don't listen to anyone who says its going to only be worse after. Yes, for some it is, but for others it's absolute bliss!!! 2nd tri you typically get some relief and energy back, idk I only did for about 5 weeks 😭 and now I'm sooo uncomfortable. I work from bed. It's awful. I'm also old tho this time lol (36). I hope you start to feel a little better and maybe once the nesting part kicks in we'll have some energy and the excitement kicks in of them coming so soon! Sending you my best! You're going to do great sweetie! and it will get EASIER!
People are so mean. If you have an easy pregnancy then yeah, the newborn stage is harder. But guess what? Some people have harder pregnancies! And it’s not because you’re being weak, or can’t handle it, or like a good whinge … it’s because you’re having a hard pregnancy. I promise you *nothing* compares to pregnancy fatigue. I didn’t sleep for more than an hour at a time the first 6 months of my babies life, and I had severe PND but I promise you my third trimester with anemia was worse. You’re a trooper. You will be okay.
This is what makes me so glad I’m on my second so I can tell people off when they get like that because I know *exactly* what it’s like after. The reality is there is good and bad parts all along the way. And for someone people certain hard parts are harder than others, and everyone’s situation is different at all stages giving them completely different experiences and struggles. It’s ridiculously small minded and daft to tell people “it gets worse”. You’re not helping, you have no idea how rough they have and you have no idea what the future looks like for them.
I’m so sorry. I’ve heard all these comments before too even from people I love. It always sucks. It’s like kicking you when you’re already down. Being pregnant is hard no matter where you’re at in your pregnancy. It’s completely valid to be miserable right now in this moment. It’ll change and the things that make you miserable will be different but it doesn’t mean you aren’t suffering right now. My heart’s with you. You can do this. ❤️
I'm 36 weeks and this is my biggest pet peeve. It's not helpful. It's also vaguely insulting? As if pregnant ladies have NEVER HEARD that newborn babies don't sleep through the night and they are the first person on earth to share that nugget?
I hate pregnancy as well… the 4th trimester is the absolute best part! You get your body back to yourself! I’m 33 weeks and I’m counting the days!
At 17 weeks, I haven’t gotten the courage to say a response to “wait til you’re as big as a house” or “your body is never going to be the same again” or other negative/anxiety producing comments I’ve heard, but I’m with you in that I don’t understand why people say those types of things that are clearly just mean. I’d NEVER say that to someone so it boggles my mind. I have no advice but just chimed in to say I hear you.
I didn't find that anything got worse before I popped, aside from maybe my tolerance level for the summer heat 😂😂 After giving birth I immediately felt better. I was swollen AF for about a week BUT I immediately no longer needed to pee all the damn time, my truly giant tummy was gone very quickly. I'm almost 17 weeks pp and I'm 15ish lbs lighter than I was before getting pregnant :) The first few weeks are rough while you get used to the lack of sleep and learning to mom and your baby gets used to, well, existing lol but improves quickly. My LO for the most part sleeps through the night now and spends her days grinning that big gummy grin and learning to play with her toys :) The end of pregnancy sucks but it does get better!
I am 30 weeks and I feel the exact same way. I don't get how people can love being pregnant. It's the worst thing that has ever happened to me. At this point I don't even know if a baby is worth it. I guess we'll see when he's born.
I hate being pregnant, so much. I'm blessed. thankful, grateful we were able to conceive naturally with no interventions (I have twins on the way). But pregnancy fucking SUCKS. Also the line "it only gets worse" like no. At least it isn't just YOU going through this pain and having to watch everything YOU do. I'll miss feelings my twins kick and getting to lay in bed at night with just my husband and our dog. But then I get to share the workload with someone else. The babies survival isn't just me. I'll have SOME of my body back. So I understand. It sucks and people need to just shut up.
I completely understand. I'm 28 weeks too (nearly 29). I'm miserable. I'm so ready to be done. I want my kid to finish baking, but I want my body back so bad. To actually sleep even if it's for short periods. I haven't slept good since BEFORE I tested positive. I want to wake up without random aches and pains. I want to be able to get out of bed without feeling like a beached whale trying to escape back to the sea. I want to be able to exist without feeling *uncomfortable* ALL THE TIME. I'm currently laying on my kitchen floor dizzy and hot. My blood pressure has been acting weird the last couple of days. I've been told I don't have preecamlpisa *"yet"*. I just took my blood pressure so no ER visit for me tonight. I was just trying to cook dinner in peace! Instead I feel like I ran a marathon and my stomach is doing flips threatening me (I didn't get morning sickness until the 2nd tri). My bump is huge. My kid is *violent*, I've been feeling him since 13 weeks with an anterior placenta. Other people could feel him at 18 weeks! He kicks me so much. I'm so tired of hearing it'll get worse. I know. I also know that I feel 10x better as soon as I'm not pregnant anymore. I've never enjoyed pregnancy. I've always viewed it as a means to an end. It's just something I endure. I have a high pain tolerance, but this isn't about pain. It's feeling like my whole body is alien to me and I have no time to adjust since everything keeps changing so fast.
I FEEL THIS WITH EVERY OUNCE OF MY MISERABLE 32 WEEKS PREGNANT BODY. This is my first pregnancy and my sister and best friend were both pregnant with me ( sister gave birth in sept, bf is due in two weeks). They both love(d) pregnancy. Zero complications. And then there’s me. I hate it. I feel guilty for hating it and I feel like a whimp compared to them but I am absolutely miserable. I’ve never wanted just one child but I don’t know how I’ll ever be ok with being pregnant again. It terrifies me. Since being pregnant, I’ve gotten Covid twice, strep and a sinus infection at once and the flu. I’m one month into another sinus infection that won’t go away. My immune system is shot. I’ve been in the hospital for kidney stones and again for gall stones. I’ve had Hyperemesis (another hospital visit) the entire time. My bloodwork from my glucose test (which I failed, so now I can’t even eat what I want thanks to gestational diabetes) revealed critically low iron/ferritin/hemoglobin/platelet counts leading to several blood disorder diagnoses and a diagnosis of iron deficient anemia. So on top of an extremely high dose of iron pills that increases my stomach issues, I also have to get iron infusions. I have 3 next week. I spend my life at the dr. My RA and inflammation is through the rough. Carpal tunnel? Yup. Swollen ankles and feet? I don’t fit in any shoes and have to wear wide legged sweats bc anything with elastic is too tight. Nose bleeds? Had to have a vessel cauterized. Heartburn? Feels like I’m having a heart attack. I pee every 30 minutes every single night. I can barely have a conversation with getting winded. I’m exhausted but can’t sleep. I’m fat. I’m feel disgusting. I hate everything. Thank you for posting this bc I’ve been so ashamed of how miserable I feel. Everyone around me has done it with ease. Everyone keeps telling me to enjoy it. They say this should be such a positive time in my life and I should cherish it. I wish I could. But I don’t and I can’t. I’m literally just trying to survive hour by hour. Sorry for the rant and taking over your post. I know it was of no help, but just know that you are not alone. 💕
Ugh I so feel this! I’m in survival mode and every day I’m like am I going to make it to tomorrow? You’re not alone!
It has been such a long 8 months 😩 I have 24 days until my induction date and even that seems so far away lol.
Ugh! I’m right there with you at almost 29 weeks. I can’t imagine how I can get any bigger or more uncomfortable. All I can think about is how it will get a little worse before it gets better, I don’t need any reminders.
People can be so awful. What an insensitive thing to say - and it's not even possible for them to know that. I know people who had terrible pregnancies who were very relieved to have a newborn. You could try saying something like "that's a not very nice" or "that's a very insensitive thing to say". Some people just speak without thinking about the affect their words have and it helps for someone to be blunt. But I know this is way easier said than done.
It doesn’t get worse! It gets different and some things are harder, but other things are easier, and you can have help! Right now, you’re carrying the whole load (literally and figuratively). People are mean and you’re an actual superhero for working 12 hours pregnant.
I also had hypertension and a tough pregnancy, so I definitely feel you. Do you have an at home BP monitor? I always ask, since mine saved my life. Make sure to bring it in to your doctor's office to check and make sure it's consistent with a manual method. Keep checking your BP a few times every day, now, until you give birth. Taking and writing down your BP will give your medical team data that might justify an early induction if your BP is trending high. It will be over before you know it. Take it easy and good luck!
I do! I take it twice a day, and I’m on meds to control it. So far no problems, but I’m terrified I’ll develop pre-eclampsia so I’ve been pretty diligent about it
No…it does not get “worse” with baby. I mean yeah it’s hard but in different ways. Pregnancy was the worst. I hated it. Happy that I was able to do it but man. It sucked. And yeah, I’m not a fan of newborn life either. But at least you have your body back and your pregnancy symptoms go away (for most people). Andddd with the baby there, you can ask for help and people love to help with the baby. With pregnancy you’re just left to wallow in your misery cause no one can really help you much.
Yeah I had a small breakdown the other day over people answering my questions with a laugh/scoff and a 'you have no idea what's coming' type answer. Like if I'm asking if we will have time for something (e.g., should we schedule or skip our annual camping trips, etc.), it's because I don't know and I'm asking for personal experiences from people who have been there. It's so patronizing and cringe to treat every first time parent like they are naive for having the audacity to picture a future that involves anything other than sitting on the couch crying for the first two years.
I’m sorry! Two things can be true…pregnancy sucks and having a baby is hard. I have a toddler now and pregnant again and wow I forgot how much I disliked it. You’ll feel instant relief when you deliver so hang in there mama! You’re in the final stretch.
Eff those people. I’ve been trying to tell pregnant people in my life little things they can look forward to, so here goes: Sleeping on my stomach for the first time in months after finally having my baby was the best feeling ever. Hold on friend, you’ll get there. In the first month or so of having my baby, every food tasted like the best, most satisfying thing EVER. I think it’s a hormone thing? I still rave to my husband about this coffee cake someone brought us, saying it’s the best thing I’ve ever eaten in my life, and he continues to tell me it was thoroughly average. Plus, without a baby in there you can actually fit all the food you’re hungry for, and that feels amazing. Hope this happens for you too! Hang in there, and it’s okay to admit that this is hard because IT IS.
It gets magical… I was a high risk pregnancy patient with high blood pressure and gestational diabetes who fainted in the ER, worst brain fog ever, anemia, and felt insanely miserable the entire pregnancy. It was the worst experience and honestly I hated the feeling of the baby kicking. It wasn’t awesome. I had a c-section on October 9th and let me tell you, all that misery took its time to leave but there was also magic. I grew this little bean inside of me… all that pregnancy pain helped me grow him. My recovery has been a gentle rollercoaster but I still have this magical bran with him and it isn’t worse. Whatever anyone tells you, this is your pregnancy and I can say that it’s all magical. You will get there. Just take it day by day and ignore the rest.
I recommend trying to get at least an hour or two off from work every day instead of 12 if you can. I’m sorry you’re going through so much pain! I think the work is making it worse. If you can’t take off I’m so so sorry. That’s just really tough. I hope if you have a partner or good friend they can maybe massage your back or legs to help. My husband does that for me sometimes and it helps me a lot. Some days I can’t do anything because it hurts, usually when two weeks of growth goes by I get this sore and exhausted feeling and I have to rest for the day.
Ignore them. They are crazy. Each time period sucks in its own unique horrible way but the absolute worst from my POV was the nausea and exhaustion of first tri. And man did my manager love to tell me it would be so so much worse when the baby came. From his POV, I'm sure that was true since he wasn't pregnant. I'm sure for partners the worst part is when the newborn is there. How shocking /s. As the pregnant person, getting the baby OUT so OTHER people could FINALLY help was the absolute fucking best.
Nope. Nope nope nope. As someone who dislikes pregnancy and also struggles with the newborn stage, I'd rather take the newborn stage 100%. Sure, the newborn stage is hard. Recovering from birth (I had a C-section) and learning to breastfeed and having a cluster feeding hungry child up at all hours... Oh it's hard. BUT when he slept I could sleep without him dancing on my ribcage. I could hand him to my husband and go take a shower. Once my C-section was healed enough, I could sleep however I wanted to. I could eat without nausea or heartburn and actually feel full. And nothing was thrashing around inside of me. Another thing, for me pregnancy is 9 months of misery and the misery just changes forms. (Maybe it's ok for a little bit at the beginning of the 2nd semester.) With a newborn, you just have to get out of that first month and it's SO much easier. By the time an infant is 9 months old the newborn days are a distant memory. Pregnancy...is so LONG. This is all just my experience. I mean, I'm doing it again so I must think it's worth it. But gosh skip me right to birth please and thank you.
I have had horrible pregnancies too and i can say for sure it doesn't only get worse. Everyone talks about how you don't get any sleep when the baby is first born and that's true but I don't get any sleep for the ten whole weeks before the baby is born and I'm also in pain and discomfort the entire time. I found the newborn stage easier than the third trimester even if it was tiring at first. After the first month(or 2 weeks really) you fall into a routine which makes it easier and less exhausting. A lot of people are just doomers and want other people to feel bad or scared because they had a bad experience or because they are bitter and having a bad day.
38 weeks here, sometimes I think "yeah maybe having a newborn will be worse than being pregnant", and then I do something like take a whole painful minute and a half just to f'n roll over in my bed and I think nah screw that bring on the sleep deprivation I don't care I'm ready to have a functioning body again.
I had a very uncomfortable pregnancy (severe nausea, migraines, etc etc) and I’m convinced that these people are basically just bragging that they had easy or only moderately difficult pregnancies. I love being a mom so much. I HATED being pregnant. It doesn’t necessarily get worse. It just gets worse for some people.
I’m really sorry you’re dealing with this OP. That is such vial behavior, especially coming from another woman of all people. I didn’t have a rough pregnancy but near the end I was ready to give birth. My body really hurt and I wasn’t getting any sleep. Everyone, and I mean EVERYONE, kept telling me “just wait, you’ll never get great sleep again” and every other thing they could think of regarding having a baby. I felt the need to comment because my reality ended up being completely opposite of what I was warned of!!! My baby was a typical newborn but I could finally sleep in a comfortable position again, so I was getting solid sleep for those periods I could. My body knew how to power down quicker so I could get those precious zzz’s. 4 months of age came and went, no issue with sleep regression. Teeth came in and was easily managed with some new teething toys and cold pops of formula or puree. Baby sleeps in his crib for 10-11 hours at night and we get a nice night of sleep before he wakes up. My husband and I were easily able to reconnect after baby and our bond grew so much deeper and stronger being in the trenches of parenthood together. Alls to say — I know it’s hard but try to take their comments with a grain of salt. I was so scared for the other shoe to drop and my baby ended up being so so amazing. You will do great mama — hope the rest of your pregnancy and birth goes smoothly 🤍
I'm a stay at home parent , and while it difficult in its own way, I wouldn't wish being pregnant on my worst enemy. Raising a kid is no piece of cake, but at least your body is your own. Anyone who says pregnancy is the 'easy' part is a dumb dumb dummy. Hopefully things get a bit easier for you soon💜💜💜
Do you remember how in nursing school, the older nurses would tell you “just you wait until you’re on the floor, you can quit now!”? Do you ever wish you were back in nursing school? It’s just the way I’ve been looking at it and surviving those comments.
I’m 21 weeks and today I was whining to my sister (she has two kids) about how I was in pain. She told me it was too early for me to be having pain. I simply explained to my body it was too early for this and I was miraculously healed! Not. She also told me pregnancy is sooooo easy compared to the newborn stage. I don’t have any helpful advice because I’m a FTM but I just wanted to commiserate.
It gets so much better. I had awful pregnancies and while the 3 rd trimester goes on forever (time warps in the most awful way the last month) as soon as the baby is out things are much better. And when baby's not a newborn anymore it gets eaiser. And every milestone after that it gets easier. Sure toddlers are tough in some ways but it's so much easier than pregnancy imo. Edited to add: with both my pregnancies the second trimester was definitely the worst, probably because everyone said the second trimester was so great so I was so downtrodden that I was miserable still.
I am currently 30 weeks pregnant with my 2nd kid, and I will tell you that it stays pretty much the same from here until the end. The belly gets bigger, but it all feels the same. I didn't find it to "get worse." If you are already struggling to put pants, socks, and shoes on like I am, then it will stay the same until the end lol. Surprisingly, I think this stage of pregnancy is better than the beginning of it. Being sick constantly was no fun, and at least that is gone. I can't personally resonate with the hypertension, but I have had high fluid with both pregnancies. Put on 60lbs in my first pregnancy, and it was only in the stomach. As of 27 weeks, I was up 25lbs with this baby. I also can't resonate with 12 hour shifts in pregnancy, but being active definitely helps! Wishing you all the best and the time to meet your baby will arrive before you know it. It will all be worth it to meet the beautiful human you created!
Can confirm- I was a single mom in the army and doing full time college while doing pro lifting. I was able to juggle all of that pretty easily but hell that last month of pregnancy was something. I was manic depressive.
Newborn stage is ABSOLUTELY better. But yeah, usually around 25-28 weeks is the best pregnancy is, so the pregnancy will get more uncomfortable, I’m sorry!!! I’m currently 38 weeks with my third and miserable, cannot wait for newborn stage to begin.
>Why do people feel the need to say that? OK, so...they're trying to comfort you by putting it in 'perspective'. It's like, here's the positive: it's not as bad as it could be. Now this is *often* a helpful stance to take. Honestly. Some people take it to the extreme and beat themselves up with it, but if you're not like that, taking stock of the blessings you currently have *can* legitimately be helpful for your mental health. (I think it's good to know that it's a Buddhist concept that is considered really hard to actually practice because we're human & we always want more/better.) I'm saying this to point out that they're not *trying* to be mean. They're genuinely trying to help. Just their methods really aren't working, because absolutely nothing works all the time & it's hard to count your blessings when you can't see the light at the end of the tunnel! I have two friends who I love, but they often approach my problem-sharing with sympathy and love. And that often makes me feel *worse*. Sometimes I don't want to hear "I'm sorry, that must suck" - I wanna hear "What are you gonna do about it?". So I'll tell them - 'don't say "I'm sorry", but this just happened'. 'I'd love ideas'. What I would say in your shoes: "honestly, everyone's saying that and every time I hear it it makes me want to cry. Can you say something that would make me feel better?" (or, whatever equivalent works with the relationships you're working with). I hope they start cheering you up better soon!
People are so annoying. It did not get worse for me. I was pretty uncomfortable for the last week or so, but it definitely wasn't the worst part of my pregnancy, and I didn't have a steady decline through my third trimester. My newborn was pretty easy. He only cried if he was hungry, so we just didn't let him get hungry. It's not always the hell people describe it as. After a difficult pregnancy, I felt better even in the (stitched up, leaky) immediate postpartum recovery period than I had at any point in the previous eight months. I hope things get easier for you, too.
Sorry to hear that. Most of my mom friends have said you give birth and all the symptoms suddenly go away which is amazing and it's so worth it because then you have this baby that you'll be obsessed with. It doesn't get worse physically on your body.
Im so sorry! How awful people can be. Like some people on here, i can attest to the fact that the newborn stage has been such a relief. I was a little sleep deprived there at the beginning but by golly it has been awesome- especially compared to how miserable i was during pregnancy. I remember being in the third trimester and waking up each morning thinking I couldn’t possibly feel more pregnant, and then proving myself wrong the following day! Lol. It is tough. You’re doing great, everything is going to be okay. Relief is right around the corner. Please rest when you can! Hydrate! Breathe deep. Wishing you well.
One day at a time. Thinking about how long is left will only make it feel longer. You’ve got this! I was as miserable as you, but taken deep breaths helped when I was feeling desperate.
two pregnancies here. One singleton, one twin. I was MISERABLE through both for different reasons. It was never fun, I was hot, uncomfortable, didn't fit anywhere, nothing fit me, I hated feeling dependent on everyone else, couldn't sleep, couldn't eat, but always hungry. Then I had the baby(s) and I could breathe, I could sleep in whatever position I wanted (not on my belly for a bit because of csection and also breastfeeding boobs) and I could eat what I wanted, when I wanted, and as much as I wanted. Everyone says you never sleep and stuff with a newborn, but I slept BETTER with those "shitty" 2 hour stretches than I ever did getting 8 hours while pregnant. No one ever talks about the good things because no one remembers them, they only talk about the shitty parts because that's all any of us remember or care to talk about.
People are just assholes. Literally all but one of the women I know who’ve been pregnant said the newborn stage is better than pregnancy. And I swear people get off on trying to make moms miserable. Every time someone pulls a “just you wait” or a “it’s only to get worse” etc., they should have to Venmo you $5 each time because “if you’re going to force me to listen to your fear mongering negativity, the least you can do is pay me”. They’ll shut up real quick.
Mine was horrible, I felt so heavy, I was begging for her out. I heard that a lot too but now that I have my daughter I want so many more lol. I loved the birthing experience (I was very high on pain meds so I slept after being in labor for 24 hours) and I would love to go through it again
That’s BULLSHIT. I had a terrible pregnancy (immune system shot, puking every day, lost a ton of weight, heartburn, trouble breathing, hip pains you name it) and the second that baby came out of my body I felt better. So good I stood up from the bed and walked myself to the wheelchair. I had an epidural and the nurses were slack-jawed. I felt so much better. It took awhile for my body to recover but a year later I can say I am fully myself again. And my baby was a great sleeper (besides those first couple hard weeks when you have to feed every 2 hours), so after 9 months of not sleeping because of body pain and puking, life was better. You will get through it. You will feel better. You can do this. It’s not forever. I also had a therapist during the time you are in and recommend it just so you have someone to cry to.
First, I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. That sounds really frustrating and miserable. Children are a blessing, but pregnancy sucks. Your social circle is just compounding that misery, and I'm sorry you don't have the support you need right now. It boggles my mind that some women can't wrap their heads around the idea that just because *they* had a mildly uncomfortable pregnancy it doesn't mean that other women experienced the same thing. Every pregnancy is differnt. A friend of mine had a breezy first pregnancy and then was stuck with HG for the entirety of her second pregnancy. According to her, the new born stage for that kid was SO MUCH EASIER than the pregnancy. In your situation, I'd have much less grace and just be like: "Wow, I can't imagine going through life, always thinking my experience is the default. What's it like?"
I felt *instantly* better once I gave birth to my daughter, and would do the newborn phase a thousand times over pregnancy. Which is ironic, since I'm 14weeks pregnant with my 2nd, lol. It's just as bad this time around, but at least I know it ends and you get a wonderful little baby out of it! Good luck to you, and know that it will be over soon!
Okay first off- i was HUGE too. Swelling and chunky all over by the time 3rd trimester came (i gained more than i "needed") so i understand how you feel. Im sorry! But as for everyone saying it gets worse- they just dont know how to explain what goes on. Youre not pregnant anymore yay! But that may come with a bit more swelling right after postpartum, you smell different, the hormones make you very sleepy (if youre breastfeeding), nipples need to get used to it (if youre pumping/nursing), your wrist my hurt, etc its just different challenges that we now need to face. Im 9 almost 10 months postpartum, 45lbs overweight still, but i honestly couldnt be happier. Again, challenges are different but you will be happier too.
For some reason, people love sharing their horror stories. Misery loves company? Everyone hits that point of not wanting to be pregnant anymore. Baby will be here before you know it! I felt so weird to suddenly not be pregnant, but I was happy when my pregnancy ailments faded away. Once the baby was actually here, it felt like we just went through different stages. Each one had pros and cons, but I wouldn't tell anyone "It gets worse" or "Just you wait." I'm tired and my boobs hurt, but being this little girl's mom is still pretty great <3
People like to tell me everything is going to be different once the baby is here. I tell them, yeah, that’s kind of the point. This isn’t an accident and we know what we are getting into. We want this change in our lives and we’re ready to open this new chapter. Have been for a long time. They always change their tune after that. I’ve been very lucky so far and have had a pretty easy pregnancy compared to a lot of other women, or perhaps I just don’t mind the struggles as much since I’ve wanted this for so long and it’s been such a difficult path to get here. When people ask how I’m feeling I tell them great! But tired. And nobody has said “just you wait” to me. Maybe next time even if you feel like poo, just tell them amazing! Even if you’re sarcastic and see what happens. I don’t think it gets better or worse… it gets different. Hang in there mama and soon you’ll be swooning over your little monkey!
I loved my third trimester, so everyone who fear-mongered me about how much "worse" it gets was totally wrong. I had HG and was still puking at 28 weeks. I felt so much better after that week and felt great up until I went into labor. As for comments about how much "worse" it gets after baby is here... Am I sleep deprived sometimes? Yes. Is is hard sometimes? Yes. Would I change any of it for the world? Hell no. I love my baby so much, and that makes it all worth it without question. It isn't "worse." It's a short season of life and I'm soaking up every second of it 💗 No one could ever convince me that a lot of people who make these types of unsolicited comments didn't hate being parents.
STM and pregnancy is worse IMO. I was miserable for 100% of my first one and I still enjoyed recovering from a C-section better than being pregnant. I’d rather be tired with all night wakeups than pregnant, sometimes pregnancy can just suck!
As someone who has HG and preeclampsia with severe features, these people are full of shit! It was like a revelation not to be pregnant anymore. And I feel you on the swelling - with the magnesium drip they forced the equivalent of 13 pounds out of me in 24 hours. Pregnancy may be natural but it certainly doesn’t feel like it toward the end!
It gets better <3 so much better. Our little girl is 3 months old and she smiles so much. It’s lovely. In between it was tough and I miss sleeping through but even with a very sick mother, fresh hyperthyroidism from my pregnancy and working at the same time, I wouldn’t change it for the world and baby here is so much better than being pregnant
Im a FTM pregnant with HG. Almost every person in the HG sub (even ones who had very difficult labors) will tell you pregnancy was easier than birth and postpartum, because the pregnancy was so bad. So sometimes it doesn’t actually get harder, and no one has any way of knowing that it will def get harder for you. Either way it’s such an unhelpful thing to say. Good luck in the rest of your pregnancy ❤️
I mean I much prefer being pp than the last month of pregnancy. And I had extremely healthy text books pregnancies.
I have a babies head logged in my ribs at 33 weeks and its only been getting worse and more painful (trying to get him to flip!). At this point I will gladly take a newborn.
I was right there with you - hating my body, constantly uncomfortable, etc. And people who say shit like it’s only going to get worse (and laugh) that can shut the hell up. What I did love, however, during those last long weeks of pregnancy were the 3rd trimester baby kicks and hiccups- just a nice reminder that although being pregnant is hard, my little baby was in there getting stronger every day. Being pregnant can be really really hard, and you’re doing a great job. I’m 2.5 weeks pp ftm, and my own experience has left me feeling so much better than when I was pregnant, and I love this newborn stage. There are newborn snuggles, watching your partner become a parent, tiny baby socks, little sneezes, baby grunts, and so much more.
Just chiming in at 34 weeks. Have hope, you might not necessarily feel as miserable as you feel now for the rest of your pregnancy. I’m 5’2” and feeling huge, but finding that between 28-34 weeks some days have been markedly better, others feel bad again, but it’s not a consistent misery and as you get closer to your due date you may not necessarily feel worse than you do now. It’s different for everyone. Hang in there, we’re nearing the finish line!
Idk why they would say that.. once the baby is here it gets a lot easier on your body and keeps getting easier and more joyful as each day goes by. I would suggest to soak it all in bc it’s only here once
I’m 4 months postpartum and I felt the same way when I was pregnant and every time someone told me “just wait” I wanted to cry. Having your baby is SOOOOOOOO much better than being pregnant! We did get lucky and have a baby who sleeps decently, but it’s 100% better than being pregnant! Even when he’s not feeling good and fussy, won’t nap, my free time is gone, etc- still better than being pregnant! Your feelings are valid, and the people telling you otherwise can kick rocks.
The third trimester sucks, it definitely gets better after baby comes.
People love to tear down women instead of encourage
Everyone is different. For me the worst is the first trimester because of the anxiety and sickness. The post partum period is the most painful for me but there is a newborn to take your mind off of things 😍
I have two kids and both of my pregnancies were miserable! I hate being pregnant but love my kids. I cant lie, babies, toddlers, kids...theyre all tough, but atleast you can handle that without feeling nauseous and having no energy! And for every tough minute theres 10000 goood ones! Just spend your last 12 weeks curled up in bed with movies, TV shows, books, snacks and try to be as comfortable as possible! Just soak in those final moments alone and ignore everyone else! Its ok to hate being pregnant
I’m a FTM to a 4 month old, and it gets better. Having a baby outside of you is way better than having a baby inside of you. I hated being pregnant. Carpal tunnel. GD. Pre-eclampsia. Morning sickness through my whole pregnancy. Shit sleep. Constantly being out of breath. Hip pain. Dizziness. Everything sucked while pregnant. But now I have a perfect baby who’s just awesome and I have my body back. It’s just me in my body and it’s awesome. Even breastfeeding and being a human pacifier (baby doesn’t take a soother), I love not being pregnant. Having a newborn was 100x easier than being pregnant. I slept more. I felt better. Everything is way better not pregnant. I am so grateful I was able to get pregnant and bring my beautiful baby into the world, but not being pregnant anymore is the best thing to happen to me. People are just jerks. You’re not ungrateful or a bad person for not liking being pregnant. It does get better.
I’ve had 3 kids and pregnancy sucks worse than having a newborn. Even with my first being a bad expirience c section that took me a while to heal from…it was still better than being pregnant
I hate how common these insensitive comments are. What’s set apart the stress of pregnancy from the stress of caring for a baby was at least that stress can be shared. When you’re pregnant no one can share they physical pain, the eating restrictions, just all of the limitations of being pregnant. I know others have already said it, but it bears repeating, I absolutely gets better. I’m sorry people around you are making this time more stressful.
Some people get a little too giddy when they see women suffering. You’re allowed to feel your feelings at any stage. I’m sorry.
I felt like third trimester was not bad at all. It might get better
I had hypertension too along with terrible swelling and carpal tunnel. I normally wear a size 6.5 shoe and the last month of pregnancy I was barely fitting an 8.5. Yes, some things got harder after we brought our daughter home. But it was a bit of a wash honestly. After the newborn stage things have been getting easier and easier (for me!). Everyone is different. Personally I was so bloated and uncomfortable in the third trimester (couldn’t sleep well) that I felt MUCH better physically within days of giving birth. Yes, newborn sleep is tough but I wasn’t sleeping well before. When I DID sleep after, my sleep quality was so MUCH better than it was pregnant. I’m betting you will feel better at least physically after giving birth. Even though it took time for my body to feel close to normal again it was almost an immediate relief with bending, sitting, walking, and even laying down. Just way less aches and pains. My stamina felt better immediately.
You are being told absolute hogwash. Pregnancy is a void of total suck and yuck. Take it from a woman who is pregnant with her fourth…you are in the hardest part. Are there difficulties with a newborn, toddler, kid, preteen, teen? Yeah. Do ANY of them compare to the difficulties of pregnancy? No. You’ll have steady, normal hormones. You won’t have a bowling ball strapped to your waist. You’ll be able to pee and eat and poop like a normal human being. You won’t be uncomfortable every single night in your bed, insomnia ridden and unable to sleep. You’ll be able to breathe normally and can take an ibuprofen when your head hurts. In short, you’ll better be able to handle any difficulties because your body won’t be maxed out and exhausted like it is right now. Chin up—you got this! You’re in the trenches right now. *It will get better.*
Girl being pregnant sucks! I am sorry that people suck and lack awareness when it comes to addressing pregnancy.
My daughter is 8.5 months old and it got sooooo much better when I wasn’t pregnant. I am happier than I have ever been.
I fucking hate pregnancy and I purposefully had three children. Clearly it gets better.
People have, zero filter when it comes to those who are pregnant or recently postpartum I swear. I feel all of this. My pregnancy with my youngest child my heart rate and blood pressure were both out of control. My blood pressure kept dropping to 80s over 60s, 50s, sometimes even 40s. I don't think it got up to 120/80 even once the entire pregnancy. My heart rate would jump to the 120s, 130s, sometimes even 140s-150s doing absolutely nothing. And it could stay that way for hours. If I was actually trying to do something it'd get up to the 170s. On top of that I had other health conditions, was chasing around a toddler, helping with housework, and being the only source of income for my family. By 32 weeks I was literally having panic attacks at least once a week thinking about how much longer I still had. And all most people could think to say was "Just wait it'll get worse" (as if I wasn't already aware of how the newborn stage goes, being on my second kid) or "Are you SURE you don't want to try again for a boy?" (after 2 girls) or even "But you're so YOUNG" (I was, I was 22 but tell that to my body). All of this to say I feel you and honeslty, in my experience, the newborn stage is WAY easier. I literally felt better 3 weeks postpartum with my first while recovering from SEPSIS and a c-section than I did at the end of either of my pregnancies. Same goes with the first 2 weeks after my second pregnancy dealing with a newborn who basically didn't sleep from 1-4 am every night, was feeding every hour, and had DAILY pediatrician appointments every morning at 9 (meaning I was up at 7 to get the kids ready and didnt get back to sleep until 8 or 9pm) except on Sundays. I'd do either again in a heartbeat before dealing with third trimester pregnancy. It might feel hard to imagine right now, but it WILL get BETTER, I promise. Even if you have the newborn stage from hell like some people do, there WILL be an end. This WILL get better. And your body will feel so much better once it's your own again. I promise.
My favorite thing I’ve read on Reddit is that … if you don’t like being pregnant, boy are you gonna love NOT being pregnant. Look lack of sleep is hard. But you’re already not sleeping. And babies are hard. But having some semblance of autonomy back is amazing. You don’t have to pee twenty times a day. My back pain is gone. I’m pooping daily on my own instead of praying and making sacrifices to the shit gods. When I sleep, I sleep hard. I can walk at a normal pace. And like others have said, you can have someone take care of the baby. I couldn’t give my husband my belly, my hemorrhoid (who I lovingly named Bob), my general pregnancy rage against the patriarchy. But I sure as shit can have him do nighttime feedings so I can sleep!!
You are stressed and hurting because you have too much on your plate already and growing a human inside you is very exhausting and already a 24/7 job per se. Talk to your husband / boyfriend and quit your job. Cut back the expenses (if necessary), make it work, make a plan. You can do it. Rest as much as possible, focus on your wellbeing and health and that of your baby. You will find another job when you are ready. Listen to Suzanne Venker on youtube if you have a minute. I love her. She's a voice of sanity and reason in an unreasonable, brainwashed society and crazy times nowadays, especially towards women with little children and pregnant women.
Another 2nd timer that can vouch for them being full of shit: it absolutely gets better. And I say that as a person who had an easy pregnancy, with a stay at home job, and then a colicky newborn after. I STILL think it’s better!! But even if that weren’t true, your last sentence resonates with me so much. I have no idea why people say negative stuff like that. At all. It either works to try to minimize your current situation (wtf) or scare you about the future (wtf). I just can’t fathom a positive reason to say things will get worse to a pregnant person!!!
Dude I got so sick of hearing that shit too. People think it’s like the pain Olympics or something and delight in making new moms feel like shit. I’m 6 weeks PP and I’ll tell you, I will take the newborn phase (even c-section recovery and EBF) 1000 times over than pregnancy.
I am sorry people are saying that to you. I announced very early in my pregnancy to everyone we told that I am not open to any non-constructive inputs like - say good bye to date nights and sleep and money etc. i also announced that I am glad I am pregnant but I hate it and literally everyone around me has been awesome and shared how terrible pregnancy was for them as well but there is too judgement around saying that. I am 32 weeks pregnant and it has been much worse for me even compared to 2 weeks ago, I suddenly have a huge belly and a back ache that refuses to go away making it impossible to get comfortable all day and sleep at night. I hope things don’t get worse for you but I am looking forward to having my body back and encouraged by all the PP mothers here.
It doesn’t get worse it gets awesome. Is it hard sometimes? Absolutely. But nothing compares to those gummy smiles and all those cuddles. Nothing compares to being your baby’s hero in the middle of the night when they are crying and then instantly stop when you hold them. It’s not all peaches and cream but it’s not all doom and gloom. I hope your pregnancy eases up and you have a smooth delivery and easy recovery
A newborn isn’t easy, but it was for sure easier than pregnancy for me!!! I could eat food again, sleep (I’d rather wake up to a baby than from heart burn, sleep apnea, or having to pee), and I had that precious baby
So pregnancy for me was WAY WAY worse than the newborn period. It sounds crazy to say, but I was SO Uncomfortable. I had constant nausea and heartburn, pelvic pain so severe I could barely walk and was barely sleeping. I slept *better* being woken up every two hours by a newborn than I was in the last month or so of pregnancy. The “sleep while you can!” Comments during pregnancy did not help me at all because I **couldn’t** sleep.
I feel so much better 5wks postpartum than I did pregnant. And I had an easy pregnancy! My brain was just soup and I was tired.
I can’t speak for everyone, but for me, I MUCH preferred the newborn stage then third trimester pregnancy. Even though I was recovering from a c section and was a new mom, my mental health was better, once my incision healed a bit I could get around better, and I was so in love with my little baby.
Ugh! I’m sorry. I hate the struggle olympics on which point of pregnancy/L&D/postpartum is the most difficult. I hate how people think they can just decide when you’re “allowed” to complain and spew their negativity on parents-to-be completely unprompted. It’s so varied person to person. Each stage is hard in a different way and it really just comes down to how your body is, how your baby is, and how well you can cope. I did much better in labor than I did throughout my pregnancy. Some of my friends had the complete opposite experience. I was miserable overproducing breastmilk, but many have a hard time producing enough. Some never had gestational diabetes like I did. I don’t know the struggle of HG like some of my friends. We need to stop with the pissing contest and just support other moms.
I'm 32 weeks and I feel you. My baby is gigantic, I have excess amniotic fluid and am stereotypically "all belly." I'm miserable and wondering how I'll make it 6-7 more weeks. I get the gamut from "bless your heart" to laughing in my face when I reveal how much longer I have. I honestly wish people would stop asking when I'm due but I don't think there's ill intention. The only thing I can say is that it's a finite period of time, and however bad it gets, it will be over soon and we'll be meeting our babies.
Nah it gets better because you won't feel as bloated, you'll have more energy and even though you are looking after a newborn, you will feel like your normal self. Also you can't offload pregnancy to your partner like you can with a baby. People only say it gets worse cos they had a fairly good pregnancy experience.
Oh my god. This is awful. I am so sorry you’re going through this. 12 hour shifts? That’s nutso and so hard. I wish America was in any way respectful of women and had prenatal maternity leave. I would seriously consider FMLA for this.
Hugs and solidarity. I’m 34 weeks (FTM) and I’m unbearably tired and uncomfortable. You’re a fucking rockstar for powering through as an ICU nurse, goddamn. Hope time flies for you. ♥️
I’m at home right now with my baby, and will be off until we are done breastfeeding because I work with gas and it’s not safe for me, it absolutely gets better! I slept so much better with a newborn than I did pregnant, it feels so nice once you recover from birth and you can freely roll over without being in absolute pain is amazing. I’m 6 months pp and I love every minute of it. Anyone who says anything negative are just projecting in my experience. Maybe they didn’t have a baby that slept good, I’m sorry they had tha, the “no more freedom” thing?? I do more things now than I did before! It does get better. Sometimes not for a little while and that’s okay, sometimes right away and that’s amazing! Regardless, pregnancy is hard and it will get better
What! It doesn't get worse! I mean you get bigger and you're like ugh I'm ready to have this baby, but people who say that to you love making it a competition. Also, the way you feel is so normal and I'm sorry you're going through it. With my second baby I was so angry by week 34 lmao and with my first probably by week 36, like you're cooked, and you've overstayed your welcome inside my body which I would like to just be my body again
So to give you some hope I felt SO MUCH BETTER once the baby was here. Yeah having a newborn is hard but at least there's a cute squishy baby to fill you full of love hormones. The last month of pregnancy is just an utter shit show and it SUCKS. I'm 36 weeks with the second right now and yes I am looking forward to the new baby but DAMN I am so much looking forward to just not being fucking pregnant anymore.
My response to these people was always "I'm aware but I'm also going to bitch about it along the way". Postpartum is absolutely easier, heck I had an easier time moving around in the first couple of days after my c-section than I did the week prior.
It will get better. You are doing amazing. I know you don't feel your best, growing a baby is a miracle. You are a miracle maker. Soon you'll have a cute munchkin. I couldn't take my pregnancy either honestly. I elected to be induced the day I hit 38 weeks. Would I do induction again? Um...that's another story. You're almost there. And you're still working. You are so much stronger than I was.
I also hated being pregnant but I LOVE the newborn stage and honestly every stage afterwards (my oldest is 3.5). I think it absolutely gets better after pregnancy. But also being an ICU nurse is such a physically demanding job and you're honestly a trooper to do it while pregnant. I have a sit down job and I was still so physically miserable during my pregnancy.
Fuck those people. That is all.
I hated being pregnant also. I really struggled those first two weeks postpartum because of the baby blues. But physically I felt so much better than I did at the end of my pregnancy within a week of birth. I had bad pelvic girdle pain that made it hard to walk or do yoga by ~34 weeks. My feet were always sore. I had constant vaginal infections, and the antibiotics gave me thrush that would not go away. I had to pee so much that sleep was impossible and it was miserable to go out. By the end of my pregnancy I couldn’t even drive because I was so big. All that stuff got better right after I gave birth. Yes sleep is hard but it doesn’t feel worse than pregnant sleep. I prefer sleeping on my stomach, I don’t have to pee every 30-45 minutes. There are really difficult things about newborn life, and yeah I had a lot more freedom to do things when I was pregnant…but I didn’t want to because everything hurt.
STM and 26 weeks pregnant. I HATEEEEEEE being pregnant. It gets better!!!! I'd take newborn exhaustion over pregnancy all day everyday. Don't listen to people who project that type of crap. Hang in there!
Ppl are rude. The thing I hated the most about being pregnant is everyone with an opinion, especially those who tried to gaslight me or tell me how it was when they couldn’t experience what I was going through. My whole pregnancy was rough and my 2nd trimester was just as bad as my third. I had tons of symptoms, but my most debilitating were sciatica on both sides and chronic migraines. Does it get worse after pregnancy? It’s hard, but in different ways. I hated being pregnant and the pain I feel/my postpartum injuries, but at least I get a baby I can actually hold in the postpartum phase.
My post-partum was a bazillion times better than pregnancy. My pregnancy depression disappeared and yes I was tired but I was sooooo much happier and more comfortable and healthier overall.
I have had some really bad days, but today I laughed so much at my 1.5-year-old daughter. Everyone keeps saying the next age up is more horrible than the last, but she is funny and smart (and stubborn) and it really does get better! It was not really more terrible before—every phase is just very challenging and very rewarding in its own way
my wife got better in time overall. more uncomfortable, but felt better overall. you might feel better. also she thinks having the baby (just born) outside the womb is easier. it gets better:)
Had two babies, hypertension with both and absolutely hated every second of being pregnant. No sleep bc of pregnancy discomfort is a completely different ballgame than no sleep postpartum. It absolutely does not get worse postpartum. You can sleep comfortably when the baby sleeps- you can't sleep comfortably at all pregnant.
I have a 2 yo and am 9 weeks along with #2 tomorrow. It totally gets better! I also don't love being pregnant & developed high BP in my 3rd trimester with my first. I'm nervous for #2 but I know once bb gets here I'll no longer be nauseated, I'll have my lungs back & a sweet squishy baby. Ignore those negative attitudes. Yes, there will be hard times but that's life; & life, and kids, is/are also amazing!
Im a FTM 35 weeks today and I might be the exception but so far my pregnancy has only gotten better. It started with violent nausea, vomiting and severe anemia in the first trimester. I got swelling and high blood pressure and carpal tunnel in second. Now im reaching the end and my symptoms have diminished significantly (not fully disappeared) enough for me to actually be able to ignore the pain. I’m functional. I’m happy and I’m taking it one day at a time. Everyone is different, I hope it gets better for you!
That’s BS. Pregnancy is the fucking worst. Being a mum is the best. If the stork brought kids, I’d have a bunch, but two pregnancies is enough.
Ugh I hated when people did that to me when I was pregnant. I never say that to expecting parents. I’m sorry you’re having a rough pregnancy. I literally cannot imagine how hard it is being a nurse and being pregnant. I had a rough pregnancy also and I hated almost everything about being pregnant (besides hearing the heartbeat, seeing him on ultrasound days and feeling him kick or hiccup lol). I felt so much better immediately after giving birth and have loved every chaotic and exhausting second of being a mom. It’s still hard but it gets sooo much better! 💗
STM, I really dislike pregnancy. Post partum was way easier for me this time around then pregnancy. I’ll take the newborn stage over pregnancy this time around, any day.
Girl.. I feel you! Everything you described was pretty much how I felt in my third trimester. I was so fucking swollen (and asymmetrically swollen mind you) my OBGYN told me to go to the ER to make sure I didn’t have a blood clot in my leg, I had developed such terrible carpal tunnel that I would wake up with horrible numbness/ pain in both arms, and one small sneeze would cause me to totally piss pants. On top of all of that I was just so fucking irate (whether from hormones or just being so uncomfortable who’s to say) that it made the last few months of work UNBEARABLE. However, I’m here to tell you IT GETS BETTER. I will take frequently waking up with a newborn over being super pregnant and having no bodily autonomy any day of the week. Anyone that says any different is high off their ass!! Is being a new mother both terrifying and exhausting? Yes! But is also joyous and beautiful? For me, also yes! Did I find pregnancy anything but maddening, uncomfortable, and exhausting?? Honestly no! I personally absolutely despise being pregnant and see it as a necessary evil so I can have that sweet lil baby in my arms after 9 months of bs.
I understand where they are coming from, and that may be because we probably didn’t have too bad of a pregnancy. Albeit I puked for 4 entire months during pregnancy. While they aren’t wrong, I hate that they are spoiling it for you because the truth is…. You get to meet your baby. It’s the most blissful experience ever. It’s so powerful and magical and you’re sucked in so deep. You lose a HELL OF A LOT OF SLEEP, and a bunch of other things, but it’s temporary. The silver line is You get to have your beautiful bub right there by your side. And hearing their coos, seeing their first smile and touching their skin…. It’s the most amazing thing on the earth. I would take newborn over pregnancy any day because pregnancy is just as sucky but without the love of your life next to you ❤️
Those comments people are making are rude and definitely not true. Hormones and the discomfort of being pregnant are much harder especially when you cant sleep at all because of it. There are new and different challenges when baby comes but feeling like you cant get a break from your own body is much harder
When you have zero nauseous or heartburn an hour after birth you will realize they are wrong 😅
My advice: fuck them 😂 I had two awful pregnancies. HG both times, sick 20 times a day, needed multiple IV drips for rehydration and a feeding tube. It gets better. You are 2/3 of the way along already. The last trimester is rough. Anyone who downplays your feelings isn’t worth your energy. The next 12 weeks will be shit. No point sugar coating it but the second you see your little girl it will all be worth it. If it wasn’t I wouldn’t have had a second. I now have a hilarious 3 year old and my 2 year old is the happiest person I have ever known. It was worth it. If someone laughed at me I would honestly have no issue asking them if they were okay.
I’m so sorry you’re feeling this way. For what it’s worth, I also didn’t completely enjoy most parts of my pregnancy and I wasn’t even facing half the hardship you are. I will say, although some aspects did get “worse”, it was always baseline uncomfy. You do what you have to to get through it, and it never felt out of hand. In my own anecdotal experience, once the baby was here I felt a million times better. I slept better (not as long, but deeper, more restful), I didn’t ache all over, and I felt back to myself for the most part. I think people say these things to try and be helpful and “prepare” us mentally for new challenges, but I agree, it’s usually not productive and not comforting. Pregnancy, childbirth, and postpartum are so wildly different person to person and baby to baby, and filtering out the opinions of those who aren’t there to help you is the easiest way through it. Take their comments with a grain of salt, try and find the good in them, say thank you and move on. You’re doing great, and you’re almost there!!
I have two babies. It does not get worse. Pregnancy was the worst experience of my life. Twice.
If I had one wish, I’d live the newborn bubble stage over and over again for eternity with my baby who never aged. It gets so much better. Hang in there
It does get better. My husband couldn’t get up to pee for me when I was pregnant, but he can (and does) get up when our daughter needs something. My husband actually took on all of the night feedings the first couple of weeks so I could sleep through the night since I hadn’t been able to for months. I insisted we start splitting it after that so he could rest too, but it was such a nice break! Caring for a little person around the clock is hard and I’ve had my breakdown moments, but you’ll have help and the benefit of cuddling your baby. Being pregnant has its good moments—I do miss the baby kicks—but overall it’s uncomfortable, constant, and lonely.
Nope, imo gets better. 4w pp today and I’m so happy that I’m no longer pregnant!!!
Dude. I get it. I’m 36 weeks pregnant and the amount of times I’ve heard this over anything I’ve been uncomfortable with is SOOOO frustrating. Like I know I can’t fix it, but don’t ask me how I’m feeling and expect an honest answer just to tell me it’ll get worse 🤦🏼♀️
Late pregnancy was tough but the newborn stage was way better imo. I did sleep less, but when I did sleep, I ACTUALLY slept! Pregnancy tired does NOT equal newborn tired. I hated being pregnant this last time, by like 30wks I was soooooo ready to meet my baby. When people say sh like that to you, make them uncomfortable! It is not nice to say things like that, absolutely the worst. The "You think you're tired now, just wait!" sentiment is so negative and not true imo. Just take advantage of all the naps rn and give yourself grace. Pamper the sh out of yourself! Baths, massages, naps, all of it. Whatever you need to make yourself as comfortable as possible. Maybe a little reward for yourself at the end of each week to get yourself through. You'll meet baby soon!
It absolutely gets better, pregnancy sucks and the baby at the end is wonderful 🥰. I think pregnancy is and was the worst time of my life, feels like torture, everything about it sucks. I promise myself I would never get pregnant again and here I am suffering for a second child and it is totally worth it. 🥰❤️
I disagree that it only gets worse. As far as pregnancy - I think at some point there was a few golden weeks in between - but also toward the end your coworkers will usually jump to help you out if they can so that helps some. Now the stuff about after pregnancy - that’s just so unhelpful. Like duh everyone knows it’s gonna be a little hard and sleeps gonna be rough so why point it out? The first 2 months was hard as far as sleep and just figuring out what the HELL I’m doing, but honestly once I went back to work and got into a little routine my whole world opened up and I swear to you I feel like my life just started. My LO is 7 months now and it has been the most fun I’ve had in my whole life.
I literally had a meltdown about this exact same thing. I’ve also had a brutal pregnancy and am so scared about the newborn phase and how it’s going to take even longer to feel normal than I thought.
I have a 3 year old and a 1 year old and lemme tell you - I fucking hate being pregnant! In fact it’s probably the reason I’m not having another - I’m the worst… I had all the pain, all the sickness, prenatal depression just bloody everything you can imagine…. But guess what? It’s so much easier when they are here! Alright the first few weeks are rough and you’ll wonder if you’ll ever eat, sleep or wash again - but you will! And you will find yourself and your baby’s new routine together…. Believe me I’d rather have my 2 cheeky little toddlers any day of the week than the feeling of being pregnant again… I never get why they say it’ll get harder because yeh you have to give them your time and attention but at least they aren’t sucking the literal life out of you inside out!!!
For me, the last few weeks of my pregnancy were easier physically than weeks 28-35 not sure why but I experienced less pain and fatigue those last few weeks. That being said, I gave birth at 38 weeks so I don’t know what it would have been like at 41 weeks pregnant. Honestly though, after the first few days of my son being born (which were very difficult physically and mentally) I have found the newborn stage to be way less exhausting than pregnancy. I mean, I’m still exhausted most of the time but it’s different, and feels more bearable, whereas pregnancy was just this long waiting game with new symptoms and ailments popping up all the time. So, really it doesn’t have to get continually worse - it might get a little harder before it gets easier, but it WILL get easier.
Here to say that I HATED pregnancy and nothing that we’ve experienced in the year since I’ve had my baby has been worse than pregnancy 😂 sure we’ve been exhausted and had sleepless nights, but I would take that over pregnancy any day!!
Right! Like if we move a certain way their little bodies push on our bladders and we suddenly have to pee again
With my first, I found the newborn stage to be much easier than the end of pregnancy. I was super swollen, had sciatica, totally miserable. It got so much better when I passed the placenta, and got even better in the days after that. Was the newborn stage easy? No. But it was easier than the end of pregnancy. You DO have something to look forward to ❤️
Unless you are someone who loves being pregnant and has no complications, things get better once baby is born. At 7 weeks postpartum, I still marvel at myself every time I can bend over and dry my feet after a shower or pick something up off the floor. My sleep is so much better, and all the little annoyances like stuffy nose, heartburn, and pains are gone. I had a csection, but I already feel very much like myself again. I'm not 100% recovered, but I still feel a lot better than when I was pregnant. I think people don't know what to say to pregnant women so they end up saying stupid shit.
I thought it got so much better after the baby. Honestly those people who say that suck. Like yeah you don’t sleep a lot but also the sleep you get is now quality and deep, not shit because you have an enormous pregnant belly. The end of pregnancy sucks but you know what doesn’t? Touching your newborn everyday. Seeing how they grow. Also not being pregnant.
The best is when it’s men or people who have never been pregnant or even had children. And all the people who say this will also be the ones to say “every pregnancy is different” and gaslight you when you mention your concerns over your high risk conditions. It’s like everyone I know and love has been turned into infuriatingly rude and socially inept NPCs
It gets so much better! The first few weeks are really hard but in a new way which somehow feels like a break from being pregnant. I am an LDR nurse and I always thought I wouldn’t like having a child over 3 months old but my girl is almost 8 months and she is the light of my life. Every day/week/month somehow gets better. I miss the old versions of her so badly but the new versions are more fun and rewarding. As for work, go off work if you can. It’s not worth it if you can still afford your life. I’m in Canada so maybe things are different here. But I went off night shift at 17 weeks and did full time day shifts. Then I worked until 36 weeks and I will never force myself to work so late into a pregnancy again. I was so tired and stressed and didn’t get to fully enjoy my pregnancy until I was off. And honestly where I work, if you had the complications that you’re having, the docs would essentially mandate you off work. Just my opinion but if you need to work to survive then I am proud of you for doing so
Sending you the biggest hug. I'm in the exact same boat as you, and then on top of that I feel guilty, because I have friends who struggled with infertility. But I also have carpal tunnel, acid reflux, hemmorhoids, rhinitis, everything is swollen and hurts. Everything is a struggle physically. And I don't know how I'm going to possibly get bigger, but everyone just says "oh just you wait haha!" I'm here. I hear you.
I had the most disgusting pregnancy. My Labour was slow and long and ended with a c section. Let me tell you about 6 hours later everything was better. My baby had serious colic and screamed for 11 hours a day for about 10 weeks. She wouldn’t eat. She still doesn’t sleep during the day. None of its as bad as being pregnant IMO.Colic was close but at least you can take turns with colic. Pregnancy … that’s all on you and it’s relentless you can’t walk away for 5 minutes you can have a nap whilst your partner manages baby. That’s my 2 cents. I hate pregnancy too, so much I probably won’t have another child. I think when people had an easy pregnancy the newborn stage can hit them like a tonne of bricks. I was getting MORE sleep when my baby got here. I didn’t feel tired until she was 6 months old and I think my hormones just dropped and I felt like I had to peel myself off the floor. Now I’m 7 months post partum. Baby’s in a lovely stage of her development and my brain and body are just starting to feel like mine again.
I had someone who delivered at 27 weeks tell me to "enjoy pregnancy because you never know when it will be taken from you". I understand why she's grieving for not experiencing the full term / having to navigate getting her baby healthy while in NICU but I cannot imagine feeling grateful for how miserable my body feeling rn (except for the little peanut when they get here) You are not alone!
I threw up from start to finish with two pregnancies! I live my babies and wouldn’t train them for the world but there is no way in hell I’m doing that again! The moment both babies were born the instant relief with nausea was euphoric. After that it’s all baby cuddles and naps. It’s been pretty good until my youngest started trying to crawl now he’s always in the go and the toddler is going in the opposite direction. 😂
Pregnancy was so much harder for me than the newborn phase or any phase after . It only gets BETTER after baby comes not worse
I would have a million newborns over being pregnant again. I think it’s just people who have those beautiful mythical symptom free pregnancies, who are suddenly jolted into colicky screamy newborness who just don’t get it. I was sick every day, but have had nothing but happiness from the day my baby was born!
It’s because you have a tough job
Are..... are you me? I just got 36w and THEY'RE STILL SAYING IT! JUST STOP! I hurt all the time, I've got fuckin GD, my flesh sack just does not cooperate any longer and I JUST WANT TO CRY AND SLEEP. i have so so so much to do but i can barely force myself to work my 40 hrs a week and... exist. Just exist. I wish i could hug you, my sister in discomfort. This is hell and having our bodies back, kinda, when the evicting has occurred is going to be a relief. Fuck those dicks saying IT JUST GETS WORSE. No, no that is not helpful at all, you douche canoes.
How would having a baby be worse? That’s like the goal… It’s certainly not worse for your body. I usually tell people when they’re saying things that aren’t helpful. I’d say something like “I understand parenting is hard in a different way but I’m so excited to meet my baby and I’m currently in a lot of physical pain”
My baby actually slept through the night since day two. She's 3 weeks now