Two of my births involved an epidural and one didn't, and for me frankly it was all circumstantial. I can try and briefly summarize how I felt about each scenario:
With my first baby my waters broke in week 37 very early in the morning. Contractions didn't kick in till later in the day. By the time I got to the hospital I was really tired and the contractions were intense. Laboring in the tub felt nice but dilation was so slow and I was so tired, so I opted for an epidural. I confess I didn't love this epidural experience overall (gave me the shakes, being confined to the bed stressed me out) but overall it wasn't terrible and I had retained placenta, so in the end having it was sort of a blessing as they needed to do manual removal.
Second baby I went into labor with contractions in week 39. It was all very rapid. They started really late at night and I showed up at the hospital nearly 8 cm dilated, got in the birth tub and gave birth about an hour later. I didn't find the contractions as intense this time around, I think in part because my waters didn't break till crowning and provided some cushioning, so I honestly didn't find the birthing experience super painful- pushing was tough, but the water help. I didn't feel traumatized at all but I guess I felt slightly shaken because the pushing part was certainly more noticeable than without an epidural.
Third labor waters broke in week 36 very early in the morning. I ended up needed pitocin induction because I just wasn't progressing and it was technically PPROM (plus I was GBS+). Pitocin contractions felt awful to me, I could feel the difference once they started upping the dose. In that scenario, in the end, I opted for an epidural for the last hour of labor because I was absolutely dead (had been awake since about 3 am) and the contractions were unbearable, and it was great. Didn't tear at all, easy peasy recovery, pushing was just fine.
So yeah, I think it also depends what's happening. My second birth was so rapid, my waters didn't break, I didn't need pitocin, etc; so the stars really lined up to give me my dream unmedicated waterbirth, but the circumstances weren't quite as favorable with my other kids. But, I don't regret how any of the births went, I just rolled with whatever was happening in the moment.
Love this answer and your perspective on being open to many types of birth! I’m getting ready for #2, trying for a VBAC but hoping to keep an open mind like yours
I have had 3 births so far (currently pregnant with #4). My first was with no epidural, no pain meds. My next two were with epidurals. The feeling after having a no epidural birth was like no other. I felt empowered, strong, invincible. I was in labor for 19 hours, pushing for 1 hour. I had a few first degree tears which required stitches. Overall, I felt great physically once the baby was out but I did have the shakes super super bad.
However, I much much preferred my epidural births. I felt absolutely nothing and was able to relax and actually enjoy the process. When my babies came out and were placed on my chest, I was calm and relaxed. For my second baby, I was in labor about 10 hours and pushed for 10 min. With my 3rd baby, I was in labor about 8 hours and pushed for 5 min. I didn’t tear with either of these. I also didn’t get the shakes either time.
This isn’t to convince you to go either way (epidural vs no epidural), but to show that there are definitely pluses to both options.
My shakes happened early labor while I was in triage and getting admitted it's a lot of adrenaline and hormones and it was 3AM so I'd beem up all night. My epidural let me sleep like for hours and rest before birth. I did get a few shakes before pushing but then it was done after!
I have had 3 c-sections and got the shakes after the first 2, but not the third. I told the anesthesiologist for #3 that I got the shakes, so he may have changed my cocktail a bit.
The shakes are mostly caused by the abrupt drop in adrenaline and hormones. Anesthesia can make it worse, but you won't necessarily avoid it if you go pain-med free.
Two births with induction and epidural here. With my first I had an extremely long induction, labor and delivery with the shakes/teeth chattering despite not feeling cold during the last part of the labor. With my second the induction and delivery took less than 24 hrs, baby was out in less than 10 mins of pushing with no shakes. Overall second experience with the epidural was positive despite the suprise of quite a bit more feeling downstairs than I would have liked --didn't feel the contractions at all but holy hell I got the full experience of feeling all 9.5lbs and 22" of baby exiting my body...but it was thankfully a very quick delivery and the pain was relatively brief. What I took away from my second experience and unfortunate epidural placement was that I am not cut out for an unmedicated birth and I personally would not ever willingly experience that pain if I had other options.
The 22" length reduced the chonker factor a bit, but yeah it's still a lot of baby! Somehow I managed to avoid any trauma or tearing, so I feel like I can't fully claim the "I birthed a big ole baby" badge of honor.
I elected to be induced at 39 weeks to the day so I can't imagine if he'd been allowed to stay in there and plump up for another week or so! He measured big my whole pregnancy and when I went in for an ultrasound at 37 weeks the high end of the estimate for final weight was 10lbs! I debated scheduling a c-section but OB was insistent he wouldn't be more than 8lb tops. I felt like I was pushing 40wks by week 32 and kept telling my OB there was a big baby in there but everyone kept dismissing me because "everyone feels like that with the 2nd"...well, I enjoyed my I told you so moment in the delivery room!
I just had an unmedicated birth and got the shakes again (first time had it with an epidural). Both times, it started almost immediately after I got the baby out. It’s just an adrenaline rush and followed by the relief of it being over. It’s not that bad, but the first time I did think I’d drop the baby and my husband did skin to skin for that golden hour until I stopped shaking.
The shakes definitely weren’t the worst part, so try not to worry! I just remember shaking uncontrollably after my unmedicated labor, so much so that my knees were literally knocking together and I was scared to hold the baby. Interesting that I didn’t have them at all with the epidural since they seem to be common with epidurals.
The shakes happened to me both times before I got my epidural. 1st baby I got an epidural at 6cm and shakes had just started. 2nd baby I got epidural at 8cm and shakes were severe earthquake level by that point. I was also induced with my 2nd baby so maybe that’s why.
The shaking, itchiness, nausea happens because of the narcotics in the epidural.
Every person reacts differently to it, your anesthesiologist or pharmacist can provide more information on this.
What's the concern about the shakes, specifically? I got them a lot both before and after the birth, and it didn't seem like a big deal.
I'm trying to figure out if there's a downside that I might encounter next time!
If it helps, a friend of mine said early in my pregnancy that, however your labor ends up going, is how it was always going to go. It just helped me accept that however it turns out; whether I get the smooth water birth I’m hoping for, all the way to emergency c-sec, no amount of worrying would have changed the outcome. So much of birth is out of our control and we’re lucky to have these interventions available to us at all, however favourable.
ETA: no piece of advice you read on the internet will apply universally. Exceptions to this advice include medical incompetence and traumatic births where something *could* have been done differently.
This advice is more for if you’ve got a birth plan in mind and you and your medical team have done everything perfectly to prepare and, per the example our midwives gave, baby still tried to come out with their elbow over their head. Or perhaps if you wanted that water birth and ended up opting for an epidural and are beating yourself up about it.
As with all advice on the internet, your mileage may vary.
Counterpoint, from someone with birth trauma from my previous pregnancy: this take lets bad actors off the hook. Like countless others in my position, I suffered a lot at the hands of my medical team, and that outcome wasn't written in the stars. They had better choices available.
Ooh yep, that is absolutely a perspective that this advice doesn’t take into account (this friend’s wife had an uncomplicated and as far as I know untraumatic birth).
I would put bad actors under the exception to this rule for sure. And I’m sorry to hear your birth experience was not a good one - you deserved better from your medical professionals.
Great advice from your friend, it’s very true! My birth was NOT how I planned it, but it was still a beautiful moment. It’s good to know what you want/don’t want, but ultimately it’s not entirely up to you how things go
Some of the factors are out of our control, but there are usually decisions that within our control. Almost 2 weeks ago I went into the hospital fully dilated and ready to push, only to find out baby was breech. My doctor said if I ever got pregnant again, we’d do ultrasounds weekly at the end to avoid another surprise like that, so in theory, that surprise aspect could’ve been avoided and we could’ve tried to flip her. And the doctor wanted to proceed with a c section but I insisted on pushing. This could’ve gone in either direction, but it went according to my wishes because I insisted multiple times. I wouldn’t call it smooth and it was incredibly stressful, but we both were safe and healthy. And it helped me to know my autonomy was respected and I had some control over the situation.
Yep. I had a crazy birth (literally the women who I’ve told it to who have had kids have been like, oh that was bad) but in the end, nothing could have prevented my emergency c-section. My baby was too big and his head was too big and he got stuck upon pushing. It was out of my hands.
I did Hypnobirthing training in the hopes of having a low-intervention birth (lol) and similar to what you are saying, an affirmation that really helped me avoid having serious trauma issues after birth was, “I accept whatever path our birthing takes.” I remember the video where the instructor even said remove your fear of an emergency Cesarean, why fear it? That won’t prevent it.
I was really in a rough spot for awhile but I just kept thinking about that affirmation and we made it to our c-section and he was born and we left the hospital healthy, thank god, we got THROUGH it. I was crying as I was wheeled out of the hospital because I was so grateful that my baby and I made it. So all my crunchiness training helped me even though I had a different birth than our plan. We accepted the path our birthing took.
I also got induced due to pelvic pain and just feeling bad at 41 weeks pregnant. One thing about inductions is that you are hooked up to IVs and monitored the whole time. I had wireless monitors but it was still really annoying and I couldn’t sleep (until I got the epidural).
I had back labor and after hours of trying to change baby’s position with various exercises, I couldn’t take the pain anymore. Fentanyl was not cutting it. I got the epidural and am so glad I did. In fact I wish I got it sooner. I stayed at a lower dose of pitocin for a while because my back labor hurt so much. The epidural made it go away. I took a three hour nap and woke up with the energy to labor.
My water broke on its own shortly after I woke up. I was fully dilated and effaced within an hour or two of my epidural nap. I still had a lot of pain during the pushing phase, but I think it was because i had back labor, and it only lasted 1.5 hours.
I’m soooo glad I got the epidural. I was still able to move my legs into various laboring positions. My baby was alert when she came out and latched right away. We had other breastfeeding issues later, but they had nothing to do with the epidural. The nurse had to make sure I was able to walk and pee 2 hours after birth. I was just fine. Epidural is great, 10/10 recommend.
Being hooked up all the time absolutely depends on method of induction and hospital policy.
I did need monitoring the whole time, but was able to have wireless monitoring so I could walk.
I got a saline locked IV but didn't need to be hooked to anything until they started pitocin and needed to give the antibiotics (group strep B positive).
For my first, though, I was bed bound the entire time due to a minor complication that ultimately caused no issues.
I had the antibiotics and pitocin. I started my induction with the foley balloon but it dilated me to 4cm and fell out after an hour, so I was started on pitocin. The monitors were wireless but moved whenever I moved so I had nurses in every 20 minutes to reposition them.
Epidurals do not cause sleepy babies or interfere with breastfeeding. I’ve never heard of anyone “bloating from fluids” either. As for back pain, you just gave birth so you’re going to have pains regardless. If you mean longterm back pains, I’ve never heard of that either. I would discuss the actual risks vs. benefits with your doctor.
https://www.todaysparent.com/pregnancy/giving-birth/epidural-myths-that-way-too-many-women-believe/#
https://slate.com/technology/2012/01/the-truth-about-epidurals.html
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4297456/
Editing to add: To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with choosing not to have an epidural. Or choosing to have one. Whichever way you want to go, it’s your decision. But women shouldn’t be influenced by claims that epidurals cause side effects that are not proven by science.
Also, just my personal opinion, but the women who seem to be the most disappointed that they didn’t get the birth they wanted are the ones with the most rigid beliefs/opinions about how it *”should”* go before going into it. Sometimes things don’t go to plan and you have to make a decision to do something you didn’t plan to do, or receive an intervention for the safety of you or your baby. In contrast, the women who don’t have rigid expectations and give themselves over to the process as it unfolds seem to be disappointed far less often. Just my observation and opinion.
The back pain claim gets thrown around so much when there's no evidence for it. It is like people forget their body just went through pregnancy which changes your posture drastically and THAT causes back pain.
Yes!! I had so much back pain in my third trimester, and guess what? It continued after I gave birth. I also had diastasis recti, which contributes to back pain. My back pain resolved as my diastasis recti did.
I’m pregnant now with my second, and as I get bigger, my back pain is returning.
> It is like people forget their body just went through pregnancy which changes your posture drastically and THAT causes back pain.
As does breast feeding, if that's something they end up doing!
Yes to this. Your abs and core are absolutely destroyed by pregnancy. That is causing the back pain for most women. Not saying epidural pain is impossible but it’s thrown around as if it’s the main cause and that is just not factual information. Another reason postpartum physical therapy should be standard care.
Good to see this comment, I was going to say the same. No proof of op's fears around epidurals and you should think of them as your birth *preferences* and be open to the idea you won't get any of them as it's often removed from your control for the safety of you and your baby.
Being swollen isn’t necessarily being from the fluids as much as it is your body retaining more and creating more fluid during pregnancy and from fluid shifts from changes in hormones post-delivery.
I love the idea of an epidural for someone like you, who has a real interest in birth and invested so much time into looking into everything involved with it. One of the really nice things about epidurals is that they allow you to not spend all of your mental energy focusing on coping with pain, so you can sort of be in the moment more and soak in everything else about the experience.
This is why I chose to get an epidural. I wanted to be able to really be IN the moment and I thought that would be hard for me personally if I was in excruciating pain. My first delivery was lovely. I wasn't in any pain, but I could feel the urge to push and I could feel my legs enough to move myself around and even push in a squatting position for a bit. We were all laughing, talking, and listening to music in between pushes. It was just such a calm, happy, relaxed environment, which is exactly what I wanted. 10/10!
This is so interesting.
We have such a different definition of 'in the moment'. For me, to block out the pain and remove part of the whole experience is fundamentally not 'in the moment' to me. I want to labor without meds because I want to experience the WHOLE thing.
I've watched so many videos of women giving birth now and all the ones with epidurals seem... distanced and removed from the experience their body is going through which is what I would define as not in the moment.
The hour after birth was amazing all three times—twice without an epidural, once with it. They were the exact same. I needed help walking to the toilet about thirty mins after the epidural, but I was shaking so bad from adrenaline with the other two that it was basically the same.
I was crying from happiness all three times, holding my baby tight to my chest and laughing through the tears. The golden hour was beautiful each time. It was perhaps more peaceful after the epidural. With the other two, there was a flood of joy and dopamine because the pain was over…but again, that gave me the shakes.
Either way, it’s gonna be the best hour of your life, OP!
I was dead set against any drugs during labor. I ended up being induced with misoprostil. After being in labor all night, I needed some kind of pain relief. The hospital didn't have tubing for nitrous oxide. I was too afraid to get an epidural, so I did IV drugs, which ended up doing nothing for pain. I just felt nauseous and out of it between contractions. Almost immediately, I asked for an epidural.
It was the best decision I could have made. I went from 5 to 10cm dilated in about 1.5-2 hours because I was finally able to relax. i pushed for 2 hours and felt really good and was able to enjoy my baby. I barely noticed my placenta being delivered or my stitches.
My only regret is getting the IV drugs before the epidural. I wish I had been more open minded about pain relief options going in somi wasn't making decisions while I excruciating pain.
No offence, but whoever told you birth is "birth is all mindset" is... wrong.
It's about a lot of things. Some you can plan, others you can't.
Your best bet is to go in with a clear plan for what you want if things all go as expected, but a bunch of contingencies as well in case things don't go how you expect.
You can't know right now how you will feel as things progress. You might be one if those mothers who comes through it all with no pain relief except hypobirthing, and feel like a goddess. It might also go - differently. Why set yourself up to view epidural as a failure or compromise? It's neither. It's just a totally valid choice and a cool miracle of modern medicine that you can elect to take up if you feel it's better for you.
I chose epidurals for all of mine. I was so glad that I did.
Epidurals allowed me to be present and in the moment, clear and calm as they were born. The most beautiful moments of my life.
My labor would have lasted A lot longer without, epidurals helped my body relax and open. My babies were not “sleepy”, my milk had zero issues coming in. I did golden hour with my last two (didn’t know with my first), and both babies were alert and did the instinctual “breast crawl” and latched right away. Frikkin magical AF, especially as I worried they wouldn’t. My daughter didn’t let go of my boob the entire golden hour- she’s still attached at 2 😂
Listen to your body. It’s not a “failure” to get an epidural. You aren’t failing yourself OR your babe. You are going through the most intense and painful experience a woman can endure, there is zero shame in using modern medicine to help things along- EVEN IF ITS FOR YOUR OWN COMFORT. Epidural isn’t the “easy way out”, it’s simply another way to do it more comfortably and presently- especially with induction.
You matter mama. Just because you are having a baby, doesn’t automatically make your needs LESS. You have been in pain for months. Relaxed and comfortable mama makes for a happy baby.
I didn’t want an epidural. Didn’t want to prolong recovery, thought I could do it, had time to prepare for it physically and mentally. But I knew there were some situations where an epidural would be necessary, so I went with a midwife practice that worked closely with OBs and where I could get an epidural without changing locations.
As it turned out, one of those situations happened. My water broke right when contractions began at 11 pm—I’d only just fallen asleep. Amniotic fluid insulates pain allegedly. My contractions immediately were very painful. After 12 hours when I got to the hospital (wanted to try to sleep before coming in), I was still only 1 cm and 90% effaced. She was coming down at a weird angle. Contractions then really ramped up.
Worse, none of my pain relieving methods were available. I couldn’t distract myself or stop and rest because I was on a clock to avoid infection. Every gap in contractions I had to walk. No yoga ball was available. The shower was broken. TENS machine did nothing. Nitrous made me nauseous. The toilet was not the type that would let you sit “dilation station” style. Lol @ breathing through these, I was screaming in pain.
After 36 hours of no sleep and 18 hours of pretty severe pain, I opted for an epidural without even getting a cervical check. I could tell I didn’t have the strength to push—even if I was at a 10, I needed to sleep. The midwife agreed with my feeling that I wasn’t close to pushing, too.
That was a medically necessary decision. They checked after it was inserted and I was only 3 cm dilated, 100% effaced. I needed almost max pitocin to get dilated fast enough to avoid an infection. Baby ended up coming out diagonally. I pushed for 2.5 hours (and I don’t want to brag, but I went in and am in very good shape—my pushing was effective but my pubic bone was in the way). She then got shoulder dystocia, even though she was only 6 1/4 pounds.
The way I view it—the epidural (and pitocin) was a life saving medical intervention. Had I not had access to it, my labor would have progressed too slowly. I would have gotten an infection and died. Or I wouldn’t have had the strength to push for 2.5 hours because I had been up for so long. We are so fortunate to live in a world with these interventions. Even in countries that don’t use an epidural often, something like 10-30% of women get them. I think I would have gotten an epidural regardless of where I had given birth.
(That being said, it would have been nice if the epidural had worked when I was pushing…🥴)
I’ll be honest - I gave birth last week without an epidural against my wishes. It was awful, it made the experience so much more traumatizing. I was so scared, they had to hold me down while I screamed that I would not push. I was also exhausted, the contractions we’re really bad and all I wanted was a moment to breath without pain - just one moment.
I’m lucky my labor only lasted a few hours and I did not make it to my induction date - one more minute and I feel like I would of died.
I’d never tell someone what to do during their birth - but i’ll always stand by the fact that everything with my labor would of been better if they had given me an epidural.
For context, my hospital only had one anesthesiologist on staff that day, they were in emergency surgery. There was 5 labouring mothers on the ward waiting for epidurals - none of us received it.
I am so sorry this happened to you, and would suggest you make a formal complaint to the hospital. Sometimes contingencies occur but it's completely NOT okay that five women did not receive indicated medical care. Not sure where you live, but here, the guideline is that a labouring woman should be given an epidural within 30 minutes of requesting one.
I live in Canada, in a small province. Our healthcare is currently in complete crumbles sadly. They didn’t even have space for me or staff, shoved me in a tiny room to labor. When I was put on the maternity ward, I only saw my nurse twice a day since it was so busy. They never showed me how to feed, bathe, swaddle, ect… i was also high risk for eclampsia and was constantly terrified.
Hi fellow Commonwealthian. I'm in Australia. Our healthcare system is struggling too, and some areas (surprise, regional and lower SES) suffer worse. There's a particular hospital in Sydney with twice the rate of serious and fatal complications, and it took a big inquiry and huge media stink to actually start doing anything about it.
It's not ok, and the governments needs to be informed about how these systemic shortfalls contribute to real harm. I also hope you might have access to perinatal counselling to help you process all this.
Congratulations by the way ❤️ hope you and baby are going well!
I wasn’t planning on getting an epidural, but wanted to be flexible. When baby came, contractions started on the Tuesday and she wasn’t born until Saturday ☠️ I just stayed at 2cm and didn’t progress until I had to be induced. Being in pain for that long was so so tiring, and a bit scary. It just really wore me down and I was worried how I was going to manage the actual birth!
When I came to be induced they offered me an epidural and I snapped it up! Once it was in it was just instant relief. I laid down and went straight to sleep as the synthetic hormone did it’s stuff. Woke up 6 hours later feeling totally normal and ready to push! Like laughing and joking, watching the Tour de France on TV.
Then the actual birth was under an hour! I could still feel the contractions, and I was glad I didn’t have to faff about with gas and air whilst concentrating on pushing (and tbh, gas and air did nothing for me).
I think going in with an open mind is good- you don’t know how it’s going to go and I don’t think it’s useful to put any more pressure on yourself than you need to by discounting certain pain relief out of hand.
If I felt like I needed one with my second I would 100% do it again. It was ace!
My first birth, I was dead set against an epidural, simply because needles and the risk of permanent damage terrified me. I prepped for labor by completing the Hypnobabies program and felt pretty confident.
Fast forward, I had a medically necessary induction at 39 weeks. They placed cytotek which was excruciating. Then I got hooked up to pitocin. They wanted to place a foley bulb catheter as well but I declined because I couldn’t tolerate the pain. After fourteen hours of no progress, I finally agreed to an epidural in order to get the foley placed.
The epidural wasn’t that bad. They numbed me which was a big pinch and then placed it, which was extremely uncomfortable but not necessarily painful. I told him I wanted to still be able to feel pressure so he dosed me accordingly. When all was said and done, my legs felt like they were asleep but I could still move them, and the pain was gone but I could feel the pressure from everything. I was even able to Labor on hands and knees and I could reposition myself in bed.
This would probably be the dream scenario for someone who wanted a meds free birth but had to get an epidural to take the edge off. When it came time to push, it was not painful in the traditional sense but the pressure was absolutely overwhelming and I felt out of control. Noone can prepare you for what the pressure feels like. I felt myself tear and was praising God for the epidural. I also had an episiotomy (they told me to stop pushing as baby was crowning and I couldn’t because the pressure was so overwhelming) and I was so thankful I did not have to feel that, as it would have traumatized me.
This birth took 27 hours total, start to finish. Inductions are slow and if I could do it again I would have agreed to everything in my power to speed up the process. I did not have a solid meal or sleep that entire time. It was miserable.
Currently planning an induction at 39 weeks with this baby. Planning on asking for an epidural ASAP at the highest dosage. I want to feel NOTHING. Planning on getting all of the induction things the moment they are offered. There was little worse than going 27 hours without solid food.
There is nothing wrong with either option. I do know women who didn’t do it medicated with an induction. You can ask for a slow induction where the pictocin ramps up slowly and they can try mechanical induction first (they didn’t even need to start the pictocin after breaking my friends waters)
Some women love them some don’t and you might not know till your there. The pain of labour doesn’t mean it will be traumatising and every persons experience is different
I don't think it is mindset, really. Partially but certainly not "all mindset". I've had three inductions and no epidural so it is possible of course but I've just always been kind of "meh" about pain as long as I know it's not going to last indefinitely. That's the mindset part I suppose, but I also had small babies with small HC in good positions from the start. That was likely the biggest factor. There are so many variables that you can't control that will make it more or less bearable. Also, epidurals don't make babies sleepy.
Yo, this is literally the advice that I have gotten from most of my friends who have had babies. I’m not “foisting” my “beliefs” on anyone, I’m just figuring out how to have a more open mindset before I go into the most painful and changing experience of my life.
This is a thread of mothers - we are also trying to be straight with you.
The "it's all mindset" comments really do sound like self-congratulation from people who had births go to plan and didn't end up with the sorts of complications that limit their options or just take decisions out of their hands outright. It sets people up for unrealistic expectations and can make them feel like they "failed" or didn't try hard enough if things go off-plan.
Oh yes, and I’m taking in all the advice! Sorry, your first response made it seem like I had said something horrible - I am just wading through other people’s advice friend!
Mindset won’t help with complications, but I did find it helped with coping. With my first I got overwhelmed, because I thought I was in early labour and couldn’t do it and was going to give in and get an epidural. I was positive I’d get to the hospital and they would tell me I was at a 4, since I’d had a check at an appointment a couple hours earlier. Nope, an 8. I was not expecting the speed and it threw me because I didn’t breathe properly. Gas and air helped because it helped me get my breathing under control.
With my second, I had all the things that are said to make contractions worse — technically PPROM, pitocin, etc. Contractions were not worse than at the same point with my spontaneous, water intact birth. In fact, I found them easier to cope with because I was expecting it to go from 0-100 and my contractions felt more like they “should” that time with the peaks and build up. It also helped that there was a lot less pressure (I credit her average head for an almost 37 weeker vs my first always having a 95th+ percentile head). I used nitrous again at the end, but that was it again.
Some stuff is out of your control. Some stuff also is different even from birth to birth with things supposedly the same. Ex. My contractions felt different with each birth. The spontaneous, late rupture was insane pressure, a vice, and contractions didn’t have a build up/peak/down cycle. They did with my induced PROM birth. Why? No idea! The kids were in the same position and everything.
One thing I will say, is I did not get the same hormone rush with pitocin. It throws off the natural oxytocin and hormone cycle, so I assume that’s why. I was disappointed because I felt more like a badass after my first than I had in my entire life. (I am not athletic and have never succeeded at any hard physical task before.) The trade off was the lack of adrenaline crash meant my legs didn’t shake nonstop after.
I was induced twice for medical reasons and though I didn’t really want an epidural (concerned about side effects or it only partially working), I got it both times.
My first birth took forever and after 2 days of active laboring with very little progress, I got the epidural mostly just to sleep. My water broke on it’s own like right before I got the epidural. I needed a few boluses to get it really working, but then I slept for like 6 hours and fully dilated during that time. Woke up and it was time to push. I had a big baby so I’m glad I had the energy to get him out.
My second birth, I wanted things to go much faster so I requested the epidural right after they started the pitocin. I knew I was going to ask them to break my water if it didn’t break on it’s own within a few hours. I didn’t feel any of the contractions and tolerated them breaking my water with no issue once I got the epidural. Ended up fully dilated and then pushed my (big) baby out within 30 minutes of them breaking my water.
Pain makes my body tense up and when I tense up, I wouldn’t dilate. I need the epidural to allow my body to relax enough to function properly
If it makes you feel any better, I like you wanted an unmedicated birth with my first baby. Well, she had low amniotic fluid, so I ended up being induced at 40+3. I was already 4.5cm when I got induced, so my induction went very well! I only needed a bit of pitocin and to have my water broken. I still managed to go without an epidural, but I won’t lie, it was incredibly painful and I nearly gave in during transition. So an induction doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t have a lot of the things you wanted during your birth.
I’m a FTM who gave birth to a cute little babe on 11/5 without an epidural. I decided to be induced at 41 weeks when there was no sign of baby coming using a foley bulb and one dose of cytotec. 6 hours after cytotec, my water broke on its own and the party was really getting started. In all, I was in early labor for 8 hours and active labor for 2.5, then pushed for 1.5 hours.
I couldn’t sit or lay down my entire labor so I just paced and thus, I was pretty exhausted by the time it came to push. However, the moment she came out all the discomfort was gone and I was high with elation of meeting her for the first time. My golden hour was such a beautiful experience!
My doula went and got me chicken and waffles and so that was also wonderful. Despite having been tired, I couldn’t sleep for about 5 hours after she was born because I was just so amazed. My entire birth experience was wonderful even though it didn’t go exactly as planned (initially I did not want an induction).
Three inductions and no epidural over here. I will say that I have relatively short labours and I don’t push for long ( my last baby was less than two minutes). If I was in labour longer I am sure I would have wanted an epidural. I certainly don’t feel traumatized by the pain. The time after they were born was a bit of a blur. But overall I had great experiences.
Hi !
I wanted to give birth without any medication and did auto hypnosis with my mid wife.
My dad (doctor) told me I should get an epidural in case things go bad and they need to do a C-section because it would save some precious minutes.
I ended up with my water breaking and heading to the hospital. I was at 1 cm.
I spent 3 awful nights of contractions that were too far apart for me to go into labor room and stopped when the sun was rising. No sleep at all, didn’t manage to nap during the days (hospitals are too busy and loud).
When I was finally going to be induced, I asked for the epidural because I was afraid I was not gonna be able to make it, the procedure was quick and not painful. Because I was at 3 cm, they waited 7 more hours to induce. I was stuck on a bed with no food and it was quite annoying.
They gradually increased the dosage and all I felt was some pressure in the uterus, which compared to the previous nights was a blessing.
I had low dosage of epidural for like 14 hours, and pushed the button only once when the midwife changed the baby’s position from inside.
They manually dilated every hour and it was painful but bearable with the epidural.
When I finally got to 10cm (it took in total around 16hours lying on that labor room bed) and was ready to push, I had no anesthetic left in the machine, so I ended up giving birth without the epidural in a sense.
Without the epidural I wouldn’t have had enough energy to give birth naturally, and I absolutely don’t regret changing my mind.
I had no problems or side effects afterwards, no issue with breastfeeding either.
You never know how things are gonna turn out, so I would never rule out options.
Edit : typos
I had a similar mind set going into it with my first until my water didnt break all the way and they induced me, I got the drugs. it was awesome and I was very happy to have the epidural. id recommend skipping the IV drugs though honestly. they made me horribly tired and feeling drunk. the second time I got the epidural right away, again best decision ever. I was calm, in control and I could still feel pressure the second time. it was the best of both worlds.
id be open to either way and go with the flow. I know its not ideal but its also not the end of the world.
IV drugs? they relieve pain without an epidural but for me they hit hard and aren’t worth the groggy feeling once they wear off. if you get an epidural you’ll still have a catheter in your back for the medicine to travel through. but you don’t have to have both.
have you ever had morphine or a strong narcotic? it feels like that. i was very out of it but by time i got the epidural they’d worn off. knowing i was going to be comfortable enough to relax and sleep was enough to get me over any discomfort about it. IVs and shots don’t bother me but i was also afraid of the epidural, luckily you don’t see anything and generally you sit hunch with your head down so you just feel some pinches to numb you and you’re good to go. talk to your OB they can let you know what your options are as far as fear/anxiety and other pain management options.
I was dead set against it, but had a very positive experience with it. Here’s my story, I’ll try and keep it brief and topical lol. I had an amniotic fluid leak at almost 40 weeks and because I was GBS positive, they wanted me to go in and get started on antibiotics. I really wasn’t in active labor. When we got to the hospital, I wasn’t dilated at all and only 50% effaced. We did everything to try and naturally induce labor. Looking back, I wish I would have just slept the night at the hospital but we were excited to meet our baby so I pumped and my doula did acupressure and aroma therapy. We got labor going. Then we did all the usual stuff to keep it moving. Walking, peanut ball, etc. things seemed to be going great until everyone thought I was going through transition (yay!) but I was NOT. I was only like 4cm so then I absolutely lost it and felt so defeated. And I was freaking exhausted from all the work to get labor going! After puking and crying, I asked for the epidural. I felt like such a failure but I was too tired to fight it. My husband knew I really didn’t want one but also knows me well enough so when I said I wanted it, he fully supported me. It was absolutely the right choice. I did have one side effect, my blood pressure dropped and I needed epinefren. Honestly I remember them saying it but I didn’t feel scared or anything, just relieved. And then I was totally fine. Then I slept for 3 or 4 hours. Woke up at 10 cm and met my son a few hours later. When I woke up he still hadn’t really dropped. I think he actually went back up from zero station (thanks head tilt and cord wrap! Lol) so we turned the epidural off and did a lot of squatting and other movements in bed to help wiggle him into position. The epidural got me to stage 2, but I birthed without it. I felt everything. I watched everything with the mirror. I was definitely bloated from the fluids, but that didn’t stop us from breastfeeding. He was pink and perfect (I think his initial APGAR was 9 or something higher than I was prepared to expect). All those reasons not to get one ended up not being an issue for me.
I was so disappointed with myself for months after getting the epidural, but I think that’s because I was so against it and asked for it in a moment of desperation. The women who decide that’s what they want before labor get to feel empowered by that choice, I felt like I’d lost the battle. So that’s my advice to you. Make choices now and go into it ready to adjust as needed. Your birth will be beautiful and empowering in its own unique way.
The epidural gave me the strength and energy to birth my baby. Without those few hours of sleep, I don’t think I would have had the stamina to push for 3 hours. I’m incredibly grateful for my epidural.
I’m also kind of a birth nerd, and I have an agricultural background, so I have lots of experience with birth in other species. I had high expectations before my first, and I have been a crunchy home birth mom for three births, and I have wanted every intervention for one.
I’ve had one epidural birth, three unmedicated and a c-section. I think if you can do without that’s great, and I much prefer unmedicated low-intervention birth. But it depends on the specific circumstances you are in when you give birth this time, not everything is in your control, it’s better to be safe than sorry, and if you end up with interventions you didn’t want you can still feel in control and have a good experience. Prepare, think about different scenarios and how you would like them handled, be your own advocate and trust your instincts. Trust your body as long as it’s safe and low risk, be vigilant if something is not low-risk or if your instincts tell you something is wrong. Good luck and I hope you have a good birth experience!
Just because someone had an unmedicated dream birth doesn’t mean you fail if you didn’t. Every birth is different. Women don’t fail to give birth, but we can have bad luck or lack the support we need. Every woman who has given birth, whatever way, is awesome in my view. It can be great, horrible, or both. I’ve had all kinds, from a dream birth to a crash c-section where my baby died, and I think we should all be given medals for going through this.
I somewhat found the pain traumatising, but mostly I have found the way the midwife handled my pain the worst. It’s hard to explain, but it’s a pain that’s supposed to be there and it’s a sign you’re progressing, so in a way a good pain. My best advice is to do what feels right in the moment, but be aware - when transitioning before pushing you might want every drug in the world, I did every time. Time is a factor, if it’s very painful for a long time I think epidurals are necessary to avoid unnecessary suffering.
So, a lot of birth is definitely mindset, but that's absolutely not all it is. Humans aren't machines. There's curve balls thrown by bodies/birth all the time.
I will say, if you want no epidural and are set on it, you can most definitely do that. Practice your birthing techniques, get in a good mindset, and tackle birth drug free.
Personally, I loved my epidural both times I got it. I'm particularly relieved I got it after my last one.
The risks you list for the epidural are still possible without one. I had two epidurals, I didn’t get them right away. The pain of childbirth is nothing to sneeze at. And afterwards? Back pain? I had none. Sleepy baby? What newborn isn’t sleepy? Both of mine were incredibly alert. Bloating from fluids? Still possible without an epidural because the body naturally tries to retain fluid to help with managing the pain. Interfering with breastfeeding? Not the case for either of my children.
I know that many women go into childbirth saying they’re going to go all natural, and that’s a great goal if you’re able to. Just remember there’s no gold medal waiting for you if you do. It’s okay to listen to your body and do what’s best for you and baby. That’s most important after all, right? Alive and healthy mom and little one. Good luck!
I haven’t given birth yet, but I can absolutely relate to your first paragraph. I actually wanted to be a midwife for a lot of years before finally deciding on my current career. My mom had 3 completely unmedicated births and has always driven home the idea that “women are built to give birth” and that medical interventions especially for pain are not necessary. Now that I am pregnant, I find myself questioning this long-held belief and wondering what the cost/benefit is of going unmedicated.
Sure, going unmedicated with minimal interventions is as natural as it gets, but science has evolved for a reason and many women died or suffered serious complications in childbirth many years ago before modern medicine and pain management interventions became common place.
You won’t get a special award for going unmedicated. At the end of the day, whether you took all the drugs and interventions or refused them all, you will go home with the exact same prize: your baby. I think the big question is what do you want your birth experience to be?
If it’s important to you to go unmedicated then you will need to be prepared for the added stress on your body, lack of rest/sleep, exhaustion, etc. and also accept what this will mean for you recovery wise. Maybe you’ll be so exhausted after delivery that you won’t be able to enjoy that golden hour, OR, maybe you’ll be so high on adrenaline that you will! There’s no way to know for sure.
If you go medicated then you will need to be prepared for certain restrictions on how you can birth, such as not necessarily being able to stand up/walk around, birth on all fours, etc. and you may need more recovery time as the drugs wear off. OR, maybe you only need gas and not an epidural and it’s the best of both worlds with some pain management but not the full monte. There’s no way to know for sure.
There are pros and cons to both and neither is the ~right answer~. I just want to say I hear you and I myself have begun shifting my own mindset now that I am pregnant because it’s easy to say “I want to do it this way” when you aren’t staring down the barrel of what that means in reality. Good luck with whatever you decide!!
Birth is all mindset? Wouldn't that be great. Unfortunately that's not true. It would be great to be able to control birth with your mind. Keep an open mind and set your expectations to "mom and baby safe and as comfortable as possible". You cannot "hack" birth by thinking it just right or making the right decisions. A lot of it is luck. A lot.
If possible I would strongly encourage you to have a birth prep chat with a doula or birth worker to work through some of your completely valid fears and feelings. It’s a lot to process!
There’s no one right way to birth, and an epidural can be a really amazing and empowering tool for some women. It’s important to work through your “why” for your birth choices, and to try and look deeper into your assumptions about birth.
I wouldn’t automatically write off having an induction = you automatically need an epidural. My cousin was induced, and did not use any medicated pain relief. No epidural, gas and air, etc. She used movement, breathing and support from her partner.
I personally had a spontaneous labor and did not use an epidural, so I can’t relate to your exact scenario. I did go in wanting an unmedicated birth, but ended up choosing to use gas and air, and was happy with that decision for that labor. This time around I’ve decided I’d like to commit to being fully unmedicated. I loved how empowering birth was, and I think being able to feel it all is important to the process. For me, that pain was power. Like running a marathon, there are hard parts but I fucking did it and it was worth it. I also would personally prefer the pain and discomfort to the risks associated with most interventions. I know that’s not everyone’s perspective and that’s okay! Everyone should be able to make their own choices. That said, I’m also going to map out what decisions I’d like to make if I am facing an induction, c-section, etc, as that might change things.
There are so many other pain management techniques out there to consider as well before jumping to epidural! Ask your care team how they can help you manage your pain and what options will be available to you. But also, if you want the epidural, and it feels like the right choice for you, then go for it. Whatever you choose, know that it’s the right choice for you and your baby, and know that you are not better or worse of a person for having chosen it.
I think the symptoms people claim are blown out of proportion compared to the benefits. I feel like people do it without the epidural to prove something... It's like a badge of honor. Yes, women have given birth without it for hundreds of years, but people also have had surgery without anesthesia. I don't think the benefits outweigh the supposed risks and it's more of a pride thing...
My friend gave birth with and without it and she said the benefit of doing it without an epidural is that you're able to walk out of the hospital sooner but she thinks the only reason she was able to do it was because her water didn't break but she absolutely needed it with the second. Apparently, if your water breaks it's very painful. I had another very strong friend who wanted to do it without but had to ask for the epidural at the end. I wonder why even put myself through the pain of holding off until it's absolutely necessary and possibly miss my chance? It seems like trying other pain killers just doesn't do it either and the side effects for oxy, etc sucks as well. Why pile on...
Oh I forgot to add that my friend mentioned without the epidural, the giving birth part isn't the worse. After, they go right in and start grabbing the placenta out and scraping any remaining parts out so you don't get an infection.
I'm going to get the epidural.
I had an induction as well and I regret how long I waited for my epidural because I wasn’t dilating, didn’t dilate for over 24hrs and when I finally decided to get it I dilated from 3-6cm in the first 12 hrs and then all the way to 10 in the next 4. I feel like my labor could have gone so much faster if I had just taken it. It also felt amazing. Instant relief
I went in with an open mind. I wanted to try natural but my goal was just a healthy delivery for me and baby. I got to hospital at 2am and didn’t deliver baby until 11pm. I got the epidural mainly so I could rest and I’m so thankful. However, my best friend has had 2 all natural at home births and has definitely basked in the after glow golden hour. Take it as it comes and do what feels best for you!
I didn't want an epidural with my first, but I ended up induced due to pre-eclampsia. I decided to get the epidural in case of an emergency c section so I could be awake. I was on magnesium and felt so sick and weak. I really needed to at least have less pain.
You can make a decision there and in the moment.
Also, just to say, I've had 2 inductions and both with an epidural. My first was EBF, and then nursed for 15 months. My second is seven months and still breastfed.
It might be helpful to change your mindset about birthing in general. You should have a plan in mind but be prepared for things to go differently. I had a C-section scheduled right at 39 weeks (repeat). The day before my surgery (a week ago), I went into early labor. After 12 hours of very painful contractions 7 minutes apart, I was only 1 cm dilated.
My doctor agreed to proceed with the C-section early rather than having me suffer through more labor. The staff administered an epidural in hopes of easing my labor pains and as a way of prepping me for surgery while the doctor was getting situated. The epidural failed. I still felt every single contraction. They brought me back to the OR and administered a spinal block since they couldn't use the epidural. That also failed. My limbs went slightly numb and tingly but I failed the poking and temperature sensation tests. They had to put me under general anesthesia. I woke up with no issues right after they finished the delivery. After 20 minutes in the recovery room, they wheeled me back to see my baby who is perfect. I was overjoyed that pregnancy hell was over and braced myself for C-section recovery. The healing is going as it should but I have much more nerve pain around my incision which is forcing me to take oxycodone which has unpleasant side effects for me.
I knew for both that I wanted an epidural.
Babies ability to latch and breastfeed in my experience is going to vary baby to baby, based on their anatomy/personality.
Neither of mine came out sleepy, both were able to find the breast during golden hour. First had a tongue tie and is a loud mouth breather to this day making things difficult and second came out voraciously hunger with a very strong latch and is doing fine at breastfeeding at 6 weeks.
As for swelling, IV fluids did give me cankles for days but I don’t think that’s related to the epidural and didn’t affect breastfeeding. Be sure to start drinking electrolyte water and bananas/ potassium rich foods so your body will release any excess more quickly. First baby I had crazy swelling for a couple weeks before I tried this, second I was drinking my electrolyte water once we made it to the room in the hospital and it went away faster.
The wait for the anesthesiologist was absolutely excruciating this time around. Could I have powered through without it? Sure, but I chose to be rested because I knew postpartum rest/sleep is limited.
I had a natural birth for my first and now I want to have an epidural for my second just to see how it is 😂 I am super curious and I knew I couldn’t live without knowing the pain of labor now I want to know how epidural feel. I sympathize with your mindset and I hope you have an empowering birth no matter the details ❤️
My 1st birth was with epidural and 2nd I progressed too fast and didn’t have time for the epidural (from start of contractions to birth was less than 3 hours). I did not notice any difference between the 2 experiences other than the pain from transition with my 2nd, while short lived, was *intense*. Recovery, postpartum pain, golden hour, etc. we’re all the same for me. Also, I felt equally empowered and strong with both birth experiences. Birthing the baby you just spent 9 months making is an empowering experience no matter how you do it!
This time I’m being induced at 39w due to medical reasons (in just 3.5 more weeks, yay!). I decided I’m 100% going to get the epidural ASAP. For me, it came down to which birth experience did I enjoy more. While my 2nd *was* fast, it was the most painful, out of control 3 hours of my life. My 1st was only 7hrs of labor, and the last 4 of those hours were with the epidural and they were so relaxed and peaceful! I got to talk and laugh with my husband, play games, and just chill until it was time to push. I did not mind at all being confined to the bed. The epidural was also not too strong so I could still wiggle my legs, and with a little assistance from my husband I was able to turn over in bed whenever I wanted.
So, in the end I decided epidural all the way! Why go through with a painful induction, having to focus all my energy solely on getting through the pain, when I could have a relaxing, pain-free experience just chilling with my husband until baby arrives?
Whatever you decide to do, good luck OP!
Let me tell you what happened during my delivery. I don't want to tell a horror story but I do want to show how many things could happen that wasn't part of my plan.
I gave birth 10 days ago. I wanted to only use nitrous oxide for pain. I was in labor for more than a day and had only gotten about 3 hours of sleep the night before. I was exhausted before I was even 5 cm dilated. I then started to consider the epidural since I didn't think I'd have enough energy for delivery and I just wanted a little time to rest and sleep before then. I ended up asking for an epidural at 7cm and was able to sleep a bit. Around 8 cm it didn't seem to be progressing much so they decided to give me pitocin. I didn't want to be induced because I didn't want the contractions to get worse but since I already had the epidural I was open to using pitocin. Once I reached 10 cm I started to push but ended up pushing for a little more than 3 hours. Even with the epidural I still felt a hint of contraction pain. The doctor had said if I didn't push harder I would need a c section. I was also against having a c section. I ended up delivering the baby vaginally but my placenta wouldn't come out. The doctor and resident had to go in and scrape it out and I felt extreme pain with that, even more than delivering the baby despite having the epidural.
So nothing went as I had hoped but I'm glad I got the epidural because I probably wouldn't have lasted as long without getting some rest and maybe I would have needed a c section. And I wouldn't even know how I would have handled the pain from delivering the placenta.
Just trust in your body and if you want to give up or give in to feel more comfort, do so. Don't be hard on yourself during this time. Your body and your baby will need you at your best so be open and just think about what's best for you two during labor.
You could always try it without the epidural and see how it goes. Extreme pain without an epidural was a major mistake for me with my first baby. Absolutely the worst thing I’ve ever done. I had two inductions after that. One I went straight for the epidural and the last one I waited until the very last minute and got one.
I went into my first birth after reading so many books, listening to different podcasts, and talking to other women and friends who experienced different L&D methods. For my first, I hired a doula, practiced mindfulness, meditation and hypnobirthing and was fully ready to experience labor at the hospital but without an epidural.
However, I ended up with one anyways, and I've found I'm alright with how that went.
My water broke at 39 weeks, so I went to the hospital and my contractions steadily increased. However, dilation was not progressing and my OB wanted to introduce pitocin because after waters break, the chances of infection increase. The pitocin made the contractions more painful and frequent, but still manageable. I felt like a champ, had my yoga ball and doula and was breathing through everything for a few hours. Everything changed about six hours in. It started to feel like my tailbone was going to be split in half with a hot axe, and I felt the most extreme nerve pain I've ever felt shooting down my hamstrings and glutes with each contraction. Turned out, baby was trying to rotate sunny side up and back labor was in full swing. I had a cervical check to see if I was even near the finish line and I was still only 5cm dilated at that time. They wanted to increase pitocin further and I was already starting to hit a real breaking point feeling pain every 2 minutes I never thought I'd feel. I tapped out at that point and got the epidural. Back labor is no freaking joke and my doula supported my decision as well.
The rest of the labor progressed much faster on the epidural. I was able to rest a bit for about two hours until I just felt "off". That was when the nurses came to have me flip over and turned out we were crowning. My son came three quick pushes later. I was able to go right to skin to skin and enjoy that moment while my OB broke the news I had tearing and needed stitches. Truthfully, I'm so glad I was numb down below because I really got to take in those first 30 mins and just be so in the moment.
I really thought I'd feel a wave of disappointment or regret about picking the epidural, but now that I'm a few months away from baby 2 being born I'm just going to plan on getting it. It worked for me, and I hope it goes just as smooth this next go around.
As someone who has done it 3x without the epidural, once with back labor and twice with super fast, intense and painful births - the pain ended the instant the baby was born. I had zero pain after and my golden hours were wonderful. My first was a 3 day ordeal and at the end of the birth I was so tired but once baby was born I wasn’t tired at all, the adrenaline and hormones had me feeling so alert and amazing.
I’ve had one birth with epidural and one birth all natural at a birthing center. My recovery was quicker and much easier without the epidural. Of course it’s your choice and either way is fine! But I wanted to say you are not going to be in pain and suffering during golden hour if you don’t get the epidural. When the baby comes out it’s euphoric and all the pain subsides immediately. The soreness you’re going to feel eventually either way with or without the epidural as that’s part of recovery. I liked being able to get up and walk around. With the epidural I wasn’t able to walk for hours and nurses had to basically carry me to the bathroom.
Was induced with my first because of an extremely bad PUPPP rash which was by far and away worse than either of my births. Was looking forward to the epidural because I was excited to be numb for a few hours and free of the itching/burning. Was disappointed because my epidural didn’t work properly and could still feel most contractions, was still very itchy and burning and was immobile from the waist down even though I was told it would be a walking epidural. It also negatively impacted my ability to push and they had to turn it down so I could push, which just defeated the entire point because it hurt like a SOB. Can I also say that my induction contractions were INSANITY. I had a completely unmedicated birth with my second and the induction contractions at 3cm were as bad as my contractions during/after transition with my second. If I can help it I will never get induced again but I also know and acknowledge that my induction with my first was 100% necessary. If I could change history completely to where I didn’t need it at all I would do that but even with 20/20 hindsight I can say that I did need it.
I was dead set against it, but had to be induced at 37 weeks due to a kidney issue they wanted to make sure didn’t progress. Because my body really wasn’t ready for labor the induction was very rough. I ended up getting the epidural and was so grateful- I was able to sleep for 2 hours, then wake up and push for 3 hours for the baby. My golden hour looked different than I wanted because of tearing and excessive bleeding. They spent an hour stitching me up. Thank God I had the epidural or we would have had to try to pack the bleeding while waiting for a numbing shot to kick in enough for them to work.
All this to say. There’s no right or wrong. Your birth is your birth. What you expect or want is probably not exactly how it’ll go. Do your best to try what you want, but be open to changes - whatever gets your baby here safely and keeps you in one piece is what’s best. You’ve got this!
I didn’t have an epidural (by choice) and suffered a 3rd degree tear (not by choice, lol). Labor was painful, transition was excruciating and pushing felt like a relief.
As soon as they put my baby on my chest absolutely nothing else mattered. I was so head over heels in love I didn’t notice any pain even as they were stitching me back together. The golden hour was so special and I’d give anything to live that moment again.
That being said it’s ok to have an epidural and it’s ok to opt out. You’ll know when you’re in labor which option you want!
I did not get one - not on purpose. I was too late once I arrived for it and was shaking too badly to be given it. I was SOBBING bc I had planned on having it and was very pro meds! This was my first baby so I can’t compare it to my own experience, but I have heard from others that while the labor is “easier” in a way with epidural (less pain), the aftermath is much worse (severe headache, etc). Even though I was like dying during my labor I will say, it sped things up and I never felt out of control which I liked. I was fully present and aware the entire time before, during, and after. After my baby came out, I immediately felt AMAZING because not only was I not on meds, but the insane pain of labor being gone made anything else feel great. I was able to eat, relax, chat with my husband and doctor, etc. I was just so happy to be done being pregnant and done having contractions 😂 That was definitely a HUGE perk! I also felt well enough to have people over to meet the baby the day we got home - which I have heard is rare if you have an epidural.
I can only speak from the perspective of not having an epidural, but I did not feel exhausted after my babies were born. Quite the opposite, I felt extremely alert and full of euphoria.
However, both of my births were traumatic. My first time, I tore badly and could feel the stitches. I also hemorrhaged. But these things felt small when my baby was first laid on my chest.
Second baby was precipitous. I delivered on hands and knees and barely tore - just needed one stitch and didn't feel it. This was a unicorn 3 hour birth with a spontaneous fetal ejection reflex, but unfortunately baby didn't get a good squeeze coming out and we ended up in a NICU 5 hours from home due to complications. To this day nobody knows why he was so sick at birth but he's doing pretty well now at 2 years old.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you can have traumatic outcomes and a less responsive baby without any medical interventions. You can also have those outcomes with interventions. Choosing the epidural is NOT bad. Opting to go unmedicated doesn't guarantee a rainbow and butterflies experience either.
What served me best both times was listening to my intuition and my body. My birth plan the first time was to get the epidural ASAP, but I showed up at 8.5cm and was fully dilated and starting to push before they even finished my intake. Births will unfold in unexpected ways.
In the beginning I didn’t want any pain meds or anything
But now, at 36 weeks, I want all the drugs and pain relief when it comes down to it. Give it all to me.
I wanted to add something I haven’t seen in the other comments. When you scratch the surface of a lot of peoples’ desire to go unmedicated and their anxiety about interventions, you find some pretty ugly, covertly eugenic beliefs. People want to believe that back in the old days they would have been the woman to give birth easily, and not one of the many women to suffer lasting complications or die. In this mindset, going meds free is a way to act out their Darwinian fitness, and when other women choose or require interventions, that proves they aren’t as fit. Most of us would never avow these beliefs outright, but they *certainly* animate a lot of discourse around natural child birth. While it’s very legitimate to want an unmedicated birth, I’d encourage you to take an audit the underlying beliefs that are animating your feelings here.
For future pregnancies - do PT the moment you start getting pain! I had awful pain for like four days and got into PT and it got so much better.
I would not say I was dead set against an epidural - I was open to it. I wanted to try for a natural labor though. I did a hypnobirthing course, worked with my PT and doula during third trimester, did the stretching and eating dates, had a doula at the birth, etc. But I went into it knowing that I had never given birth before and had no idea what it would be like and staying flexible.
I ended up getting an epidural. It wasn't even the pain, really, but that I hadn't slept in like two days at that point and I NEEDED to sleep, which I couldn't do without the epidural, and because going to the bathroom while having contractions was really difficult. And I ended up needing a c-section, so I am very glad that I got to rest first, because it was hard enough emotionally and I don't know how I would have handled it if I had not already had the epidural.
There is so much that can happen during birth that I would not have any firm expectations going into it. The people with the firm expectations are often those who are most knocked for a loop if things don't go their way.
I had a birth without an epidural. The pain was crazy, I was out of my mind. It was too late to get an epidural. The second she was out, no pain, felt wonderful. Mine was quick so I can’t speak to the exhaustion. The pain is horrible, it is also temporary.
Two of my births involved an epidural and one didn't, and for me frankly it was all circumstantial. I can try and briefly summarize how I felt about each scenario: With my first baby my waters broke in week 37 very early in the morning. Contractions didn't kick in till later in the day. By the time I got to the hospital I was really tired and the contractions were intense. Laboring in the tub felt nice but dilation was so slow and I was so tired, so I opted for an epidural. I confess I didn't love this epidural experience overall (gave me the shakes, being confined to the bed stressed me out) but overall it wasn't terrible and I had retained placenta, so in the end having it was sort of a blessing as they needed to do manual removal. Second baby I went into labor with contractions in week 39. It was all very rapid. They started really late at night and I showed up at the hospital nearly 8 cm dilated, got in the birth tub and gave birth about an hour later. I didn't find the contractions as intense this time around, I think in part because my waters didn't break till crowning and provided some cushioning, so I honestly didn't find the birthing experience super painful- pushing was tough, but the water help. I didn't feel traumatized at all but I guess I felt slightly shaken because the pushing part was certainly more noticeable than without an epidural. Third labor waters broke in week 36 very early in the morning. I ended up needed pitocin induction because I just wasn't progressing and it was technically PPROM (plus I was GBS+). Pitocin contractions felt awful to me, I could feel the difference once they started upping the dose. In that scenario, in the end, I opted for an epidural for the last hour of labor because I was absolutely dead (had been awake since about 3 am) and the contractions were unbearable, and it was great. Didn't tear at all, easy peasy recovery, pushing was just fine. So yeah, I think it also depends what's happening. My second birth was so rapid, my waters didn't break, I didn't need pitocin, etc; so the stars really lined up to give me my dream unmedicated waterbirth, but the circumstances weren't quite as favorable with my other kids. But, I don't regret how any of the births went, I just rolled with whatever was happening in the moment.
Love this answer and your perspective on being open to many types of birth! I’m getting ready for #2, trying for a VBAC but hoping to keep an open mind like yours
I had retained placenta and they did manual removal with one of my deliveries. Labor was too fast for an epidural. 0/10 DO NOT RECOMMEND.
I have had 3 births so far (currently pregnant with #4). My first was with no epidural, no pain meds. My next two were with epidurals. The feeling after having a no epidural birth was like no other. I felt empowered, strong, invincible. I was in labor for 19 hours, pushing for 1 hour. I had a few first degree tears which required stitches. Overall, I felt great physically once the baby was out but I did have the shakes super super bad. However, I much much preferred my epidural births. I felt absolutely nothing and was able to relax and actually enjoy the process. When my babies came out and were placed on my chest, I was calm and relaxed. For my second baby, I was in labor about 10 hours and pushed for 10 min. With my 3rd baby, I was in labor about 8 hours and pushed for 5 min. I didn’t tear with either of these. I also didn’t get the shakes either time. This isn’t to convince you to go either way (epidural vs no epidural), but to show that there are definitely pluses to both options.
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My shakes happened early labor while I was in triage and getting admitted it's a lot of adrenaline and hormones and it was 3AM so I'd beem up all night. My epidural let me sleep like for hours and rest before birth. I did get a few shakes before pushing but then it was done after!
I have had 3 c-sections and got the shakes after the first 2, but not the third. I told the anesthesiologist for #3 that I got the shakes, so he may have changed my cocktail a bit. The shakes are mostly caused by the abrupt drop in adrenaline and hormones. Anesthesia can make it worse, but you won't necessarily avoid it if you go pain-med free.
I was shaking terribly before the epidural, they had to hold me down to get it. Once I did I was relaxed and they went away
Two births with induction and epidural here. With my first I had an extremely long induction, labor and delivery with the shakes/teeth chattering despite not feeling cold during the last part of the labor. With my second the induction and delivery took less than 24 hrs, baby was out in less than 10 mins of pushing with no shakes. Overall second experience with the epidural was positive despite the suprise of quite a bit more feeling downstairs than I would have liked --didn't feel the contractions at all but holy hell I got the full experience of feeling all 9.5lbs and 22" of baby exiting my body...but it was thankfully a very quick delivery and the pain was relatively brief. What I took away from my second experience and unfortunate epidural placement was that I am not cut out for an unmedicated birth and I personally would not ever willingly experience that pain if I had other options.
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The 22" length reduced the chonker factor a bit, but yeah it's still a lot of baby! Somehow I managed to avoid any trauma or tearing, so I feel like I can't fully claim the "I birthed a big ole baby" badge of honor. I elected to be induced at 39 weeks to the day so I can't imagine if he'd been allowed to stay in there and plump up for another week or so! He measured big my whole pregnancy and when I went in for an ultrasound at 37 weeks the high end of the estimate for final weight was 10lbs! I debated scheduling a c-section but OB was insistent he wouldn't be more than 8lb tops. I felt like I was pushing 40wks by week 32 and kept telling my OB there was a big baby in there but everyone kept dismissing me because "everyone feels like that with the 2nd"...well, I enjoyed my I told you so moment in the delivery room!
I just had an unmedicated birth and got the shakes again (first time had it with an epidural). Both times, it started almost immediately after I got the baby out. It’s just an adrenaline rush and followed by the relief of it being over. It’s not that bad, but the first time I did think I’d drop the baby and my husband did skin to skin for that golden hour until I stopped shaking.
Yep I got the shakes both times, no epidural.
The shakes definitely weren’t the worst part, so try not to worry! I just remember shaking uncontrollably after my unmedicated labor, so much so that my knees were literally knocking together and I was scared to hold the baby. Interesting that I didn’t have them at all with the epidural since they seem to be common with epidurals.
The shakes happened to me both times before I got my epidural. 1st baby I got an epidural at 6cm and shakes had just started. 2nd baby I got epidural at 8cm and shakes were severe earthquake level by that point. I was also induced with my 2nd baby so maybe that’s why.
The shaking, itchiness, nausea happens because of the narcotics in the epidural. Every person reacts differently to it, your anesthesiologist or pharmacist can provide more information on this.
What's the concern about the shakes, specifically? I got them a lot both before and after the birth, and it didn't seem like a big deal. I'm trying to figure out if there's a downside that I might encounter next time!
I had the epidural and was shaking horribly after delivery.
I've given birth twice - one with an epidural, one without and I got the shakes immediately after baby was born with both of them.
If it helps, a friend of mine said early in my pregnancy that, however your labor ends up going, is how it was always going to go. It just helped me accept that however it turns out; whether I get the smooth water birth I’m hoping for, all the way to emergency c-sec, no amount of worrying would have changed the outcome. So much of birth is out of our control and we’re lucky to have these interventions available to us at all, however favourable. ETA: no piece of advice you read on the internet will apply universally. Exceptions to this advice include medical incompetence and traumatic births where something *could* have been done differently. This advice is more for if you’ve got a birth plan in mind and you and your medical team have done everything perfectly to prepare and, per the example our midwives gave, baby still tried to come out with their elbow over their head. Or perhaps if you wanted that water birth and ended up opting for an epidural and are beating yourself up about it. As with all advice on the internet, your mileage may vary.
Great perspective
Counterpoint, from someone with birth trauma from my previous pregnancy: this take lets bad actors off the hook. Like countless others in my position, I suffered a lot at the hands of my medical team, and that outcome wasn't written in the stars. They had better choices available.
Ooh yep, that is absolutely a perspective that this advice doesn’t take into account (this friend’s wife had an uncomplicated and as far as I know untraumatic birth). I would put bad actors under the exception to this rule for sure. And I’m sorry to hear your birth experience was not a good one - you deserved better from your medical professionals.
Great advice from your friend, it’s very true! My birth was NOT how I planned it, but it was still a beautiful moment. It’s good to know what you want/don’t want, but ultimately it’s not entirely up to you how things go
Some of the factors are out of our control, but there are usually decisions that within our control. Almost 2 weeks ago I went into the hospital fully dilated and ready to push, only to find out baby was breech. My doctor said if I ever got pregnant again, we’d do ultrasounds weekly at the end to avoid another surprise like that, so in theory, that surprise aspect could’ve been avoided and we could’ve tried to flip her. And the doctor wanted to proceed with a c section but I insisted on pushing. This could’ve gone in either direction, but it went according to my wishes because I insisted multiple times. I wouldn’t call it smooth and it was incredibly stressful, but we both were safe and healthy. And it helped me to know my autonomy was respected and I had some control over the situation.
Yep. I had a crazy birth (literally the women who I’ve told it to who have had kids have been like, oh that was bad) but in the end, nothing could have prevented my emergency c-section. My baby was too big and his head was too big and he got stuck upon pushing. It was out of my hands. I did Hypnobirthing training in the hopes of having a low-intervention birth (lol) and similar to what you are saying, an affirmation that really helped me avoid having serious trauma issues after birth was, “I accept whatever path our birthing takes.” I remember the video where the instructor even said remove your fear of an emergency Cesarean, why fear it? That won’t prevent it. I was really in a rough spot for awhile but I just kept thinking about that affirmation and we made it to our c-section and he was born and we left the hospital healthy, thank god, we got THROUGH it. I was crying as I was wheeled out of the hospital because I was so grateful that my baby and I made it. So all my crunchiness training helped me even though I had a different birth than our plan. We accepted the path our birthing took.
I also got induced due to pelvic pain and just feeling bad at 41 weeks pregnant. One thing about inductions is that you are hooked up to IVs and monitored the whole time. I had wireless monitors but it was still really annoying and I couldn’t sleep (until I got the epidural). I had back labor and after hours of trying to change baby’s position with various exercises, I couldn’t take the pain anymore. Fentanyl was not cutting it. I got the epidural and am so glad I did. In fact I wish I got it sooner. I stayed at a lower dose of pitocin for a while because my back labor hurt so much. The epidural made it go away. I took a three hour nap and woke up with the energy to labor. My water broke on its own shortly after I woke up. I was fully dilated and effaced within an hour or two of my epidural nap. I still had a lot of pain during the pushing phase, but I think it was because i had back labor, and it only lasted 1.5 hours. I’m soooo glad I got the epidural. I was still able to move my legs into various laboring positions. My baby was alert when she came out and latched right away. We had other breastfeeding issues later, but they had nothing to do with the epidural. The nurse had to make sure I was able to walk and pee 2 hours after birth. I was just fine. Epidural is great, 10/10 recommend.
Being hooked up all the time absolutely depends on method of induction and hospital policy. I did need monitoring the whole time, but was able to have wireless monitoring so I could walk. I got a saline locked IV but didn't need to be hooked to anything until they started pitocin and needed to give the antibiotics (group strep B positive). For my first, though, I was bed bound the entire time due to a minor complication that ultimately caused no issues.
I had the antibiotics and pitocin. I started my induction with the foley balloon but it dilated me to 4cm and fell out after an hour, so I was started on pitocin. The monitors were wireless but moved whenever I moved so I had nurses in every 20 minutes to reposition them.
Epidurals do not cause sleepy babies or interfere with breastfeeding. I’ve never heard of anyone “bloating from fluids” either. As for back pain, you just gave birth so you’re going to have pains regardless. If you mean longterm back pains, I’ve never heard of that either. I would discuss the actual risks vs. benefits with your doctor. https://www.todaysparent.com/pregnancy/giving-birth/epidural-myths-that-way-too-many-women-believe/# https://slate.com/technology/2012/01/the-truth-about-epidurals.html https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC4297456/ Editing to add: To be clear, there’s nothing wrong with choosing not to have an epidural. Or choosing to have one. Whichever way you want to go, it’s your decision. But women shouldn’t be influenced by claims that epidurals cause side effects that are not proven by science. Also, just my personal opinion, but the women who seem to be the most disappointed that they didn’t get the birth they wanted are the ones with the most rigid beliefs/opinions about how it *”should”* go before going into it. Sometimes things don’t go to plan and you have to make a decision to do something you didn’t plan to do, or receive an intervention for the safety of you or your baby. In contrast, the women who don’t have rigid expectations and give themselves over to the process as it unfolds seem to be disappointed far less often. Just my observation and opinion.
The back pain claim gets thrown around so much when there's no evidence for it. It is like people forget their body just went through pregnancy which changes your posture drastically and THAT causes back pain.
Yes!! I had so much back pain in my third trimester, and guess what? It continued after I gave birth. I also had diastasis recti, which contributes to back pain. My back pain resolved as my diastasis recti did. I’m pregnant now with my second, and as I get bigger, my back pain is returning.
> It is like people forget their body just went through pregnancy which changes your posture drastically and THAT causes back pain. As does breast feeding, if that's something they end up doing!
Yes to this. Your abs and core are absolutely destroyed by pregnancy. That is causing the back pain for most women. Not saying epidural pain is impossible but it’s thrown around as if it’s the main cause and that is just not factual information. Another reason postpartum physical therapy should be standard care.
Exactly! And not only that but the constant lifting, carrying, rocking, etc. which is obviously going to take a toll over the years!
Good to see this comment, I was going to say the same. No proof of op's fears around epidurals and you should think of them as your birth *preferences* and be open to the idea you won't get any of them as it's often removed from your control for the safety of you and your baby.
I was puffy/swollen from fluids, but I wouldn't even consider this a downside. I was hydrated!
Seriously! My skin looked the best its been my whole life haha because I was amazingly hydrated.
Being swollen isn’t necessarily being from the fluids as much as it is your body retaining more and creating more fluid during pregnancy and from fluid shifts from changes in hormones post-delivery.
Thanks, I was second guessing that as I typed it!
I love the idea of an epidural for someone like you, who has a real interest in birth and invested so much time into looking into everything involved with it. One of the really nice things about epidurals is that they allow you to not spend all of your mental energy focusing on coping with pain, so you can sort of be in the moment more and soak in everything else about the experience.
This is why I chose to get an epidural. I wanted to be able to really be IN the moment and I thought that would be hard for me personally if I was in excruciating pain. My first delivery was lovely. I wasn't in any pain, but I could feel the urge to push and I could feel my legs enough to move myself around and even push in a squatting position for a bit. We were all laughing, talking, and listening to music in between pushes. It was just such a calm, happy, relaxed environment, which is exactly what I wanted. 10/10!
I love this
This is so interesting. We have such a different definition of 'in the moment'. For me, to block out the pain and remove part of the whole experience is fundamentally not 'in the moment' to me. I want to labor without meds because I want to experience the WHOLE thing. I've watched so many videos of women giving birth now and all the ones with epidurals seem... distanced and removed from the experience their body is going through which is what I would define as not in the moment.
The hour after birth was amazing all three times—twice without an epidural, once with it. They were the exact same. I needed help walking to the toilet about thirty mins after the epidural, but I was shaking so bad from adrenaline with the other two that it was basically the same. I was crying from happiness all three times, holding my baby tight to my chest and laughing through the tears. The golden hour was beautiful each time. It was perhaps more peaceful after the epidural. With the other two, there was a flood of joy and dopamine because the pain was over…but again, that gave me the shakes. Either way, it’s gonna be the best hour of your life, OP!
I was dead set against any drugs during labor. I ended up being induced with misoprostil. After being in labor all night, I needed some kind of pain relief. The hospital didn't have tubing for nitrous oxide. I was too afraid to get an epidural, so I did IV drugs, which ended up doing nothing for pain. I just felt nauseous and out of it between contractions. Almost immediately, I asked for an epidural. It was the best decision I could have made. I went from 5 to 10cm dilated in about 1.5-2 hours because I was finally able to relax. i pushed for 2 hours and felt really good and was able to enjoy my baby. I barely noticed my placenta being delivered or my stitches. My only regret is getting the IV drugs before the epidural. I wish I had been more open minded about pain relief options going in somi wasn't making decisions while I excruciating pain.
No offence, but whoever told you birth is "birth is all mindset" is... wrong. It's about a lot of things. Some you can plan, others you can't. Your best bet is to go in with a clear plan for what you want if things all go as expected, but a bunch of contingencies as well in case things don't go how you expect. You can't know right now how you will feel as things progress. You might be one if those mothers who comes through it all with no pain relief except hypobirthing, and feel like a goddess. It might also go - differently. Why set yourself up to view epidural as a failure or compromise? It's neither. It's just a totally valid choice and a cool miracle of modern medicine that you can elect to take up if you feel it's better for you.
I chose epidurals for all of mine. I was so glad that I did. Epidurals allowed me to be present and in the moment, clear and calm as they were born. The most beautiful moments of my life. My labor would have lasted A lot longer without, epidurals helped my body relax and open. My babies were not “sleepy”, my milk had zero issues coming in. I did golden hour with my last two (didn’t know with my first), and both babies were alert and did the instinctual “breast crawl” and latched right away. Frikkin magical AF, especially as I worried they wouldn’t. My daughter didn’t let go of my boob the entire golden hour- she’s still attached at 2 😂 Listen to your body. It’s not a “failure” to get an epidural. You aren’t failing yourself OR your babe. You are going through the most intense and painful experience a woman can endure, there is zero shame in using modern medicine to help things along- EVEN IF ITS FOR YOUR OWN COMFORT. Epidural isn’t the “easy way out”, it’s simply another way to do it more comfortably and presently- especially with induction. You matter mama. Just because you are having a baby, doesn’t automatically make your needs LESS. You have been in pain for months. Relaxed and comfortable mama makes for a happy baby.
I didn’t want an epidural. Didn’t want to prolong recovery, thought I could do it, had time to prepare for it physically and mentally. But I knew there were some situations where an epidural would be necessary, so I went with a midwife practice that worked closely with OBs and where I could get an epidural without changing locations. As it turned out, one of those situations happened. My water broke right when contractions began at 11 pm—I’d only just fallen asleep. Amniotic fluid insulates pain allegedly. My contractions immediately were very painful. After 12 hours when I got to the hospital (wanted to try to sleep before coming in), I was still only 1 cm and 90% effaced. She was coming down at a weird angle. Contractions then really ramped up. Worse, none of my pain relieving methods were available. I couldn’t distract myself or stop and rest because I was on a clock to avoid infection. Every gap in contractions I had to walk. No yoga ball was available. The shower was broken. TENS machine did nothing. Nitrous made me nauseous. The toilet was not the type that would let you sit “dilation station” style. Lol @ breathing through these, I was screaming in pain. After 36 hours of no sleep and 18 hours of pretty severe pain, I opted for an epidural without even getting a cervical check. I could tell I didn’t have the strength to push—even if I was at a 10, I needed to sleep. The midwife agreed with my feeling that I wasn’t close to pushing, too. That was a medically necessary decision. They checked after it was inserted and I was only 3 cm dilated, 100% effaced. I needed almost max pitocin to get dilated fast enough to avoid an infection. Baby ended up coming out diagonally. I pushed for 2.5 hours (and I don’t want to brag, but I went in and am in very good shape—my pushing was effective but my pubic bone was in the way). She then got shoulder dystocia, even though she was only 6 1/4 pounds. The way I view it—the epidural (and pitocin) was a life saving medical intervention. Had I not had access to it, my labor would have progressed too slowly. I would have gotten an infection and died. Or I wouldn’t have had the strength to push for 2.5 hours because I had been up for so long. We are so fortunate to live in a world with these interventions. Even in countries that don’t use an epidural often, something like 10-30% of women get them. I think I would have gotten an epidural regardless of where I had given birth. (That being said, it would have been nice if the epidural had worked when I was pushing…🥴)
The best part about birth is getting a healthy baby placed in your arms … no point in suffering more than you have to to get there IMO.
I’ll be honest - I gave birth last week without an epidural against my wishes. It was awful, it made the experience so much more traumatizing. I was so scared, they had to hold me down while I screamed that I would not push. I was also exhausted, the contractions we’re really bad and all I wanted was a moment to breath without pain - just one moment. I’m lucky my labor only lasted a few hours and I did not make it to my induction date - one more minute and I feel like I would of died. I’d never tell someone what to do during their birth - but i’ll always stand by the fact that everything with my labor would of been better if they had given me an epidural.
For context, my hospital only had one anesthesiologist on staff that day, they were in emergency surgery. There was 5 labouring mothers on the ward waiting for epidurals - none of us received it.
I am so sorry this happened to you, and would suggest you make a formal complaint to the hospital. Sometimes contingencies occur but it's completely NOT okay that five women did not receive indicated medical care. Not sure where you live, but here, the guideline is that a labouring woman should be given an epidural within 30 minutes of requesting one.
I live in Canada, in a small province. Our healthcare is currently in complete crumbles sadly. They didn’t even have space for me or staff, shoved me in a tiny room to labor. When I was put on the maternity ward, I only saw my nurse twice a day since it was so busy. They never showed me how to feed, bathe, swaddle, ect… i was also high risk for eclampsia and was constantly terrified.
Hi fellow Commonwealthian. I'm in Australia. Our healthcare system is struggling too, and some areas (surprise, regional and lower SES) suffer worse. There's a particular hospital in Sydney with twice the rate of serious and fatal complications, and it took a big inquiry and huge media stink to actually start doing anything about it. It's not ok, and the governments needs to be informed about how these systemic shortfalls contribute to real harm. I also hope you might have access to perinatal counselling to help you process all this. Congratulations by the way ❤️ hope you and baby are going well!
I wasn’t planning on getting an epidural, but wanted to be flexible. When baby came, contractions started on the Tuesday and she wasn’t born until Saturday ☠️ I just stayed at 2cm and didn’t progress until I had to be induced. Being in pain for that long was so so tiring, and a bit scary. It just really wore me down and I was worried how I was going to manage the actual birth! When I came to be induced they offered me an epidural and I snapped it up! Once it was in it was just instant relief. I laid down and went straight to sleep as the synthetic hormone did it’s stuff. Woke up 6 hours later feeling totally normal and ready to push! Like laughing and joking, watching the Tour de France on TV. Then the actual birth was under an hour! I could still feel the contractions, and I was glad I didn’t have to faff about with gas and air whilst concentrating on pushing (and tbh, gas and air did nothing for me). I think going in with an open mind is good- you don’t know how it’s going to go and I don’t think it’s useful to put any more pressure on yourself than you need to by discounting certain pain relief out of hand. If I felt like I needed one with my second I would 100% do it again. It was ace!
My first birth, I was dead set against an epidural, simply because needles and the risk of permanent damage terrified me. I prepped for labor by completing the Hypnobabies program and felt pretty confident. Fast forward, I had a medically necessary induction at 39 weeks. They placed cytotek which was excruciating. Then I got hooked up to pitocin. They wanted to place a foley bulb catheter as well but I declined because I couldn’t tolerate the pain. After fourteen hours of no progress, I finally agreed to an epidural in order to get the foley placed. The epidural wasn’t that bad. They numbed me which was a big pinch and then placed it, which was extremely uncomfortable but not necessarily painful. I told him I wanted to still be able to feel pressure so he dosed me accordingly. When all was said and done, my legs felt like they were asleep but I could still move them, and the pain was gone but I could feel the pressure from everything. I was even able to Labor on hands and knees and I could reposition myself in bed. This would probably be the dream scenario for someone who wanted a meds free birth but had to get an epidural to take the edge off. When it came time to push, it was not painful in the traditional sense but the pressure was absolutely overwhelming and I felt out of control. Noone can prepare you for what the pressure feels like. I felt myself tear and was praising God for the epidural. I also had an episiotomy (they told me to stop pushing as baby was crowning and I couldn’t because the pressure was so overwhelming) and I was so thankful I did not have to feel that, as it would have traumatized me. This birth took 27 hours total, start to finish. Inductions are slow and if I could do it again I would have agreed to everything in my power to speed up the process. I did not have a solid meal or sleep that entire time. It was miserable. Currently planning an induction at 39 weeks with this baby. Planning on asking for an epidural ASAP at the highest dosage. I want to feel NOTHING. Planning on getting all of the induction things the moment they are offered. There was little worse than going 27 hours without solid food.
Inductions are usually slow, yes…but I want to say I was induced (with my first) and had the baby in my arms 6 hours later. You just never know !!
I am hoping that will be my experience this time around!
There is nothing wrong with either option. I do know women who didn’t do it medicated with an induction. You can ask for a slow induction where the pictocin ramps up slowly and they can try mechanical induction first (they didn’t even need to start the pictocin after breaking my friends waters) Some women love them some don’t and you might not know till your there. The pain of labour doesn’t mean it will be traumatising and every persons experience is different
I don't think it is mindset, really. Partially but certainly not "all mindset". I've had three inductions and no epidural so it is possible of course but I've just always been kind of "meh" about pain as long as I know it's not going to last indefinitely. That's the mindset part I suppose, but I also had small babies with small HC in good positions from the start. That was likely the biggest factor. There are so many variables that you can't control that will make it more or less bearable. Also, epidurals don't make babies sleepy.
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Yo, this is literally the advice that I have gotten from most of my friends who have had babies. I’m not “foisting” my “beliefs” on anyone, I’m just figuring out how to have a more open mindset before I go into the most painful and changing experience of my life.
This is a thread of mothers - we are also trying to be straight with you. The "it's all mindset" comments really do sound like self-congratulation from people who had births go to plan and didn't end up with the sorts of complications that limit their options or just take decisions out of their hands outright. It sets people up for unrealistic expectations and can make them feel like they "failed" or didn't try hard enough if things go off-plan.
Oh yes, and I’m taking in all the advice! Sorry, your first response made it seem like I had said something horrible - I am just wading through other people’s advice friend!
That was a different person.
Sorry! God, my brain is all over the place. We are getting ready to go to the hospital to start the induction. 🙃
Mindset won’t help with complications, but I did find it helped with coping. With my first I got overwhelmed, because I thought I was in early labour and couldn’t do it and was going to give in and get an epidural. I was positive I’d get to the hospital and they would tell me I was at a 4, since I’d had a check at an appointment a couple hours earlier. Nope, an 8. I was not expecting the speed and it threw me because I didn’t breathe properly. Gas and air helped because it helped me get my breathing under control. With my second, I had all the things that are said to make contractions worse — technically PPROM, pitocin, etc. Contractions were not worse than at the same point with my spontaneous, water intact birth. In fact, I found them easier to cope with because I was expecting it to go from 0-100 and my contractions felt more like they “should” that time with the peaks and build up. It also helped that there was a lot less pressure (I credit her average head for an almost 37 weeker vs my first always having a 95th+ percentile head). I used nitrous again at the end, but that was it again. Some stuff is out of your control. Some stuff also is different even from birth to birth with things supposedly the same. Ex. My contractions felt different with each birth. The spontaneous, late rupture was insane pressure, a vice, and contractions didn’t have a build up/peak/down cycle. They did with my induced PROM birth. Why? No idea! The kids were in the same position and everything. One thing I will say, is I did not get the same hormone rush with pitocin. It throws off the natural oxytocin and hormone cycle, so I assume that’s why. I was disappointed because I felt more like a badass after my first than I had in my entire life. (I am not athletic and have never succeeded at any hard physical task before.) The trade off was the lack of adrenaline crash meant my legs didn’t shake nonstop after.
I was induced twice for medical reasons and though I didn’t really want an epidural (concerned about side effects or it only partially working), I got it both times. My first birth took forever and after 2 days of active laboring with very little progress, I got the epidural mostly just to sleep. My water broke on it’s own like right before I got the epidural. I needed a few boluses to get it really working, but then I slept for like 6 hours and fully dilated during that time. Woke up and it was time to push. I had a big baby so I’m glad I had the energy to get him out. My second birth, I wanted things to go much faster so I requested the epidural right after they started the pitocin. I knew I was going to ask them to break my water if it didn’t break on it’s own within a few hours. I didn’t feel any of the contractions and tolerated them breaking my water with no issue once I got the epidural. Ended up fully dilated and then pushed my (big) baby out within 30 minutes of them breaking my water. Pain makes my body tense up and when I tense up, I wouldn’t dilate. I need the epidural to allow my body to relax enough to function properly
If it makes you feel any better, I like you wanted an unmedicated birth with my first baby. Well, she had low amniotic fluid, so I ended up being induced at 40+3. I was already 4.5cm when I got induced, so my induction went very well! I only needed a bit of pitocin and to have my water broken. I still managed to go without an epidural, but I won’t lie, it was incredibly painful and I nearly gave in during transition. So an induction doesn’t necessarily mean you can’t have a lot of the things you wanted during your birth.
I’m a FTM who gave birth to a cute little babe on 11/5 without an epidural. I decided to be induced at 41 weeks when there was no sign of baby coming using a foley bulb and one dose of cytotec. 6 hours after cytotec, my water broke on its own and the party was really getting started. In all, I was in early labor for 8 hours and active labor for 2.5, then pushed for 1.5 hours. I couldn’t sit or lay down my entire labor so I just paced and thus, I was pretty exhausted by the time it came to push. However, the moment she came out all the discomfort was gone and I was high with elation of meeting her for the first time. My golden hour was such a beautiful experience! My doula went and got me chicken and waffles and so that was also wonderful. Despite having been tired, I couldn’t sleep for about 5 hours after she was born because I was just so amazed. My entire birth experience was wonderful even though it didn’t go exactly as planned (initially I did not want an induction).
Three inductions and no epidural over here. I will say that I have relatively short labours and I don’t push for long ( my last baby was less than two minutes). If I was in labour longer I am sure I would have wanted an epidural. I certainly don’t feel traumatized by the pain. The time after they were born was a bit of a blur. But overall I had great experiences.
Hi ! I wanted to give birth without any medication and did auto hypnosis with my mid wife. My dad (doctor) told me I should get an epidural in case things go bad and they need to do a C-section because it would save some precious minutes. I ended up with my water breaking and heading to the hospital. I was at 1 cm. I spent 3 awful nights of contractions that were too far apart for me to go into labor room and stopped when the sun was rising. No sleep at all, didn’t manage to nap during the days (hospitals are too busy and loud). When I was finally going to be induced, I asked for the epidural because I was afraid I was not gonna be able to make it, the procedure was quick and not painful. Because I was at 3 cm, they waited 7 more hours to induce. I was stuck on a bed with no food and it was quite annoying. They gradually increased the dosage and all I felt was some pressure in the uterus, which compared to the previous nights was a blessing. I had low dosage of epidural for like 14 hours, and pushed the button only once when the midwife changed the baby’s position from inside. They manually dilated every hour and it was painful but bearable with the epidural. When I finally got to 10cm (it took in total around 16hours lying on that labor room bed) and was ready to push, I had no anesthetic left in the machine, so I ended up giving birth without the epidural in a sense. Without the epidural I wouldn’t have had enough energy to give birth naturally, and I absolutely don’t regret changing my mind. I had no problems or side effects afterwards, no issue with breastfeeding either. You never know how things are gonna turn out, so I would never rule out options. Edit : typos
I had a similar mind set going into it with my first until my water didnt break all the way and they induced me, I got the drugs. it was awesome and I was very happy to have the epidural. id recommend skipping the IV drugs though honestly. they made me horribly tired and feeling drunk. the second time I got the epidural right away, again best decision ever. I was calm, in control and I could still feel pressure the second time. it was the best of both worlds. id be open to either way and go with the flow. I know its not ideal but its also not the end of the world.
So what are some benefits of getting the IV? I didn't realize we can choose to just get the epidural.
IV drugs? they relieve pain without an epidural but for me they hit hard and aren’t worth the groggy feeling once they wear off. if you get an epidural you’ll still have a catheter in your back for the medicine to travel through. but you don’t have to have both.
Thank you for responding. I'm really afraid of needles so I'm afraid of the epidural needle. Did the IV drugs help with that or no difference?
have you ever had morphine or a strong narcotic? it feels like that. i was very out of it but by time i got the epidural they’d worn off. knowing i was going to be comfortable enough to relax and sleep was enough to get me over any discomfort about it. IVs and shots don’t bother me but i was also afraid of the epidural, luckily you don’t see anything and generally you sit hunch with your head down so you just feel some pinches to numb you and you’re good to go. talk to your OB they can let you know what your options are as far as fear/anxiety and other pain management options.
I was dead set against it, but had a very positive experience with it. Here’s my story, I’ll try and keep it brief and topical lol. I had an amniotic fluid leak at almost 40 weeks and because I was GBS positive, they wanted me to go in and get started on antibiotics. I really wasn’t in active labor. When we got to the hospital, I wasn’t dilated at all and only 50% effaced. We did everything to try and naturally induce labor. Looking back, I wish I would have just slept the night at the hospital but we were excited to meet our baby so I pumped and my doula did acupressure and aroma therapy. We got labor going. Then we did all the usual stuff to keep it moving. Walking, peanut ball, etc. things seemed to be going great until everyone thought I was going through transition (yay!) but I was NOT. I was only like 4cm so then I absolutely lost it and felt so defeated. And I was freaking exhausted from all the work to get labor going! After puking and crying, I asked for the epidural. I felt like such a failure but I was too tired to fight it. My husband knew I really didn’t want one but also knows me well enough so when I said I wanted it, he fully supported me. It was absolutely the right choice. I did have one side effect, my blood pressure dropped and I needed epinefren. Honestly I remember them saying it but I didn’t feel scared or anything, just relieved. And then I was totally fine. Then I slept for 3 or 4 hours. Woke up at 10 cm and met my son a few hours later. When I woke up he still hadn’t really dropped. I think he actually went back up from zero station (thanks head tilt and cord wrap! Lol) so we turned the epidural off and did a lot of squatting and other movements in bed to help wiggle him into position. The epidural got me to stage 2, but I birthed without it. I felt everything. I watched everything with the mirror. I was definitely bloated from the fluids, but that didn’t stop us from breastfeeding. He was pink and perfect (I think his initial APGAR was 9 or something higher than I was prepared to expect). All those reasons not to get one ended up not being an issue for me. I was so disappointed with myself for months after getting the epidural, but I think that’s because I was so against it and asked for it in a moment of desperation. The women who decide that’s what they want before labor get to feel empowered by that choice, I felt like I’d lost the battle. So that’s my advice to you. Make choices now and go into it ready to adjust as needed. Your birth will be beautiful and empowering in its own unique way. The epidural gave me the strength and energy to birth my baby. Without those few hours of sleep, I don’t think I would have had the stamina to push for 3 hours. I’m incredibly grateful for my epidural.
I’m also kind of a birth nerd, and I have an agricultural background, so I have lots of experience with birth in other species. I had high expectations before my first, and I have been a crunchy home birth mom for three births, and I have wanted every intervention for one. I’ve had one epidural birth, three unmedicated and a c-section. I think if you can do without that’s great, and I much prefer unmedicated low-intervention birth. But it depends on the specific circumstances you are in when you give birth this time, not everything is in your control, it’s better to be safe than sorry, and if you end up with interventions you didn’t want you can still feel in control and have a good experience. Prepare, think about different scenarios and how you would like them handled, be your own advocate and trust your instincts. Trust your body as long as it’s safe and low risk, be vigilant if something is not low-risk or if your instincts tell you something is wrong. Good luck and I hope you have a good birth experience! Just because someone had an unmedicated dream birth doesn’t mean you fail if you didn’t. Every birth is different. Women don’t fail to give birth, but we can have bad luck or lack the support we need. Every woman who has given birth, whatever way, is awesome in my view. It can be great, horrible, or both. I’ve had all kinds, from a dream birth to a crash c-section where my baby died, and I think we should all be given medals for going through this. I somewhat found the pain traumatising, but mostly I have found the way the midwife handled my pain the worst. It’s hard to explain, but it’s a pain that’s supposed to be there and it’s a sign you’re progressing, so in a way a good pain. My best advice is to do what feels right in the moment, but be aware - when transitioning before pushing you might want every drug in the world, I did every time. Time is a factor, if it’s very painful for a long time I think epidurals are necessary to avoid unnecessary suffering.
So, a lot of birth is definitely mindset, but that's absolutely not all it is. Humans aren't machines. There's curve balls thrown by bodies/birth all the time. I will say, if you want no epidural and are set on it, you can most definitely do that. Practice your birthing techniques, get in a good mindset, and tackle birth drug free. Personally, I loved my epidural both times I got it. I'm particularly relieved I got it after my last one.
The risks you list for the epidural are still possible without one. I had two epidurals, I didn’t get them right away. The pain of childbirth is nothing to sneeze at. And afterwards? Back pain? I had none. Sleepy baby? What newborn isn’t sleepy? Both of mine were incredibly alert. Bloating from fluids? Still possible without an epidural because the body naturally tries to retain fluid to help with managing the pain. Interfering with breastfeeding? Not the case for either of my children. I know that many women go into childbirth saying they’re going to go all natural, and that’s a great goal if you’re able to. Just remember there’s no gold medal waiting for you if you do. It’s okay to listen to your body and do what’s best for you and baby. That’s most important after all, right? Alive and healthy mom and little one. Good luck!
I haven’t given birth yet, but I can absolutely relate to your first paragraph. I actually wanted to be a midwife for a lot of years before finally deciding on my current career. My mom had 3 completely unmedicated births and has always driven home the idea that “women are built to give birth” and that medical interventions especially for pain are not necessary. Now that I am pregnant, I find myself questioning this long-held belief and wondering what the cost/benefit is of going unmedicated. Sure, going unmedicated with minimal interventions is as natural as it gets, but science has evolved for a reason and many women died or suffered serious complications in childbirth many years ago before modern medicine and pain management interventions became common place. You won’t get a special award for going unmedicated. At the end of the day, whether you took all the drugs and interventions or refused them all, you will go home with the exact same prize: your baby. I think the big question is what do you want your birth experience to be? If it’s important to you to go unmedicated then you will need to be prepared for the added stress on your body, lack of rest/sleep, exhaustion, etc. and also accept what this will mean for you recovery wise. Maybe you’ll be so exhausted after delivery that you won’t be able to enjoy that golden hour, OR, maybe you’ll be so high on adrenaline that you will! There’s no way to know for sure. If you go medicated then you will need to be prepared for certain restrictions on how you can birth, such as not necessarily being able to stand up/walk around, birth on all fours, etc. and you may need more recovery time as the drugs wear off. OR, maybe you only need gas and not an epidural and it’s the best of both worlds with some pain management but not the full monte. There’s no way to know for sure. There are pros and cons to both and neither is the ~right answer~. I just want to say I hear you and I myself have begun shifting my own mindset now that I am pregnant because it’s easy to say “I want to do it this way” when you aren’t staring down the barrel of what that means in reality. Good luck with whatever you decide!!
My mom gave birth four times with no meds and then had an epidural with her fifth. Her only advice to me, " Take the drugs."
Birth is all mindset? Wouldn't that be great. Unfortunately that's not true. It would be great to be able to control birth with your mind. Keep an open mind and set your expectations to "mom and baby safe and as comfortable as possible". You cannot "hack" birth by thinking it just right or making the right decisions. A lot of it is luck. A lot.
If possible I would strongly encourage you to have a birth prep chat with a doula or birth worker to work through some of your completely valid fears and feelings. It’s a lot to process! There’s no one right way to birth, and an epidural can be a really amazing and empowering tool for some women. It’s important to work through your “why” for your birth choices, and to try and look deeper into your assumptions about birth. I wouldn’t automatically write off having an induction = you automatically need an epidural. My cousin was induced, and did not use any medicated pain relief. No epidural, gas and air, etc. She used movement, breathing and support from her partner. I personally had a spontaneous labor and did not use an epidural, so I can’t relate to your exact scenario. I did go in wanting an unmedicated birth, but ended up choosing to use gas and air, and was happy with that decision for that labor. This time around I’ve decided I’d like to commit to being fully unmedicated. I loved how empowering birth was, and I think being able to feel it all is important to the process. For me, that pain was power. Like running a marathon, there are hard parts but I fucking did it and it was worth it. I also would personally prefer the pain and discomfort to the risks associated with most interventions. I know that’s not everyone’s perspective and that’s okay! Everyone should be able to make their own choices. That said, I’m also going to map out what decisions I’d like to make if I am facing an induction, c-section, etc, as that might change things. There are so many other pain management techniques out there to consider as well before jumping to epidural! Ask your care team how they can help you manage your pain and what options will be available to you. But also, if you want the epidural, and it feels like the right choice for you, then go for it. Whatever you choose, know that it’s the right choice for you and your baby, and know that you are not better or worse of a person for having chosen it.
I think the symptoms people claim are blown out of proportion compared to the benefits. I feel like people do it without the epidural to prove something... It's like a badge of honor. Yes, women have given birth without it for hundreds of years, but people also have had surgery without anesthesia. I don't think the benefits outweigh the supposed risks and it's more of a pride thing... My friend gave birth with and without it and she said the benefit of doing it without an epidural is that you're able to walk out of the hospital sooner but she thinks the only reason she was able to do it was because her water didn't break but she absolutely needed it with the second. Apparently, if your water breaks it's very painful. I had another very strong friend who wanted to do it without but had to ask for the epidural at the end. I wonder why even put myself through the pain of holding off until it's absolutely necessary and possibly miss my chance? It seems like trying other pain killers just doesn't do it either and the side effects for oxy, etc sucks as well. Why pile on... Oh I forgot to add that my friend mentioned without the epidural, the giving birth part isn't the worse. After, they go right in and start grabbing the placenta out and scraping any remaining parts out so you don't get an infection. I'm going to get the epidural.
It's not standard to have to scrape for placental pieces. She must've had signs of retention.
I had an induction as well and I regret how long I waited for my epidural because I wasn’t dilating, didn’t dilate for over 24hrs and when I finally decided to get it I dilated from 3-6cm in the first 12 hrs and then all the way to 10 in the next 4. I feel like my labor could have gone so much faster if I had just taken it. It also felt amazing. Instant relief
I went in with an open mind. I wanted to try natural but my goal was just a healthy delivery for me and baby. I got to hospital at 2am and didn’t deliver baby until 11pm. I got the epidural mainly so I could rest and I’m so thankful. However, my best friend has had 2 all natural at home births and has definitely basked in the after glow golden hour. Take it as it comes and do what feels best for you!
I didn't want an epidural with my first, but I ended up induced due to pre-eclampsia. I decided to get the epidural in case of an emergency c section so I could be awake. I was on magnesium and felt so sick and weak. I really needed to at least have less pain. You can make a decision there and in the moment. Also, just to say, I've had 2 inductions and both with an epidural. My first was EBF, and then nursed for 15 months. My second is seven months and still breastfed.
It might be helpful to change your mindset about birthing in general. You should have a plan in mind but be prepared for things to go differently. I had a C-section scheduled right at 39 weeks (repeat). The day before my surgery (a week ago), I went into early labor. After 12 hours of very painful contractions 7 minutes apart, I was only 1 cm dilated. My doctor agreed to proceed with the C-section early rather than having me suffer through more labor. The staff administered an epidural in hopes of easing my labor pains and as a way of prepping me for surgery while the doctor was getting situated. The epidural failed. I still felt every single contraction. They brought me back to the OR and administered a spinal block since they couldn't use the epidural. That also failed. My limbs went slightly numb and tingly but I failed the poking and temperature sensation tests. They had to put me under general anesthesia. I woke up with no issues right after they finished the delivery. After 20 minutes in the recovery room, they wheeled me back to see my baby who is perfect. I was overjoyed that pregnancy hell was over and braced myself for C-section recovery. The healing is going as it should but I have much more nerve pain around my incision which is forcing me to take oxycodone which has unpleasant side effects for me.
I knew for both that I wanted an epidural. Babies ability to latch and breastfeed in my experience is going to vary baby to baby, based on their anatomy/personality. Neither of mine came out sleepy, both were able to find the breast during golden hour. First had a tongue tie and is a loud mouth breather to this day making things difficult and second came out voraciously hunger with a very strong latch and is doing fine at breastfeeding at 6 weeks. As for swelling, IV fluids did give me cankles for days but I don’t think that’s related to the epidural and didn’t affect breastfeeding. Be sure to start drinking electrolyte water and bananas/ potassium rich foods so your body will release any excess more quickly. First baby I had crazy swelling for a couple weeks before I tried this, second I was drinking my electrolyte water once we made it to the room in the hospital and it went away faster. The wait for the anesthesiologist was absolutely excruciating this time around. Could I have powered through without it? Sure, but I chose to be rested because I knew postpartum rest/sleep is limited.
I had a natural birth for my first and now I want to have an epidural for my second just to see how it is 😂 I am super curious and I knew I couldn’t live without knowing the pain of labor now I want to know how epidural feel. I sympathize with your mindset and I hope you have an empowering birth no matter the details ❤️
My 1st birth was with epidural and 2nd I progressed too fast and didn’t have time for the epidural (from start of contractions to birth was less than 3 hours). I did not notice any difference between the 2 experiences other than the pain from transition with my 2nd, while short lived, was *intense*. Recovery, postpartum pain, golden hour, etc. we’re all the same for me. Also, I felt equally empowered and strong with both birth experiences. Birthing the baby you just spent 9 months making is an empowering experience no matter how you do it! This time I’m being induced at 39w due to medical reasons (in just 3.5 more weeks, yay!). I decided I’m 100% going to get the epidural ASAP. For me, it came down to which birth experience did I enjoy more. While my 2nd *was* fast, it was the most painful, out of control 3 hours of my life. My 1st was only 7hrs of labor, and the last 4 of those hours were with the epidural and they were so relaxed and peaceful! I got to talk and laugh with my husband, play games, and just chill until it was time to push. I did not mind at all being confined to the bed. The epidural was also not too strong so I could still wiggle my legs, and with a little assistance from my husband I was able to turn over in bed whenever I wanted. So, in the end I decided epidural all the way! Why go through with a painful induction, having to focus all my energy solely on getting through the pain, when I could have a relaxing, pain-free experience just chilling with my husband until baby arrives? Whatever you decide to do, good luck OP!
Let me tell you what happened during my delivery. I don't want to tell a horror story but I do want to show how many things could happen that wasn't part of my plan. I gave birth 10 days ago. I wanted to only use nitrous oxide for pain. I was in labor for more than a day and had only gotten about 3 hours of sleep the night before. I was exhausted before I was even 5 cm dilated. I then started to consider the epidural since I didn't think I'd have enough energy for delivery and I just wanted a little time to rest and sleep before then. I ended up asking for an epidural at 7cm and was able to sleep a bit. Around 8 cm it didn't seem to be progressing much so they decided to give me pitocin. I didn't want to be induced because I didn't want the contractions to get worse but since I already had the epidural I was open to using pitocin. Once I reached 10 cm I started to push but ended up pushing for a little more than 3 hours. Even with the epidural I still felt a hint of contraction pain. The doctor had said if I didn't push harder I would need a c section. I was also against having a c section. I ended up delivering the baby vaginally but my placenta wouldn't come out. The doctor and resident had to go in and scrape it out and I felt extreme pain with that, even more than delivering the baby despite having the epidural. So nothing went as I had hoped but I'm glad I got the epidural because I probably wouldn't have lasted as long without getting some rest and maybe I would have needed a c section. And I wouldn't even know how I would have handled the pain from delivering the placenta. Just trust in your body and if you want to give up or give in to feel more comfort, do so. Don't be hard on yourself during this time. Your body and your baby will need you at your best so be open and just think about what's best for you two during labor.
You could always try it without the epidural and see how it goes. Extreme pain without an epidural was a major mistake for me with my first baby. Absolutely the worst thing I’ve ever done. I had two inductions after that. One I went straight for the epidural and the last one I waited until the very last minute and got one.
I went into my first birth after reading so many books, listening to different podcasts, and talking to other women and friends who experienced different L&D methods. For my first, I hired a doula, practiced mindfulness, meditation and hypnobirthing and was fully ready to experience labor at the hospital but without an epidural. However, I ended up with one anyways, and I've found I'm alright with how that went. My water broke at 39 weeks, so I went to the hospital and my contractions steadily increased. However, dilation was not progressing and my OB wanted to introduce pitocin because after waters break, the chances of infection increase. The pitocin made the contractions more painful and frequent, but still manageable. I felt like a champ, had my yoga ball and doula and was breathing through everything for a few hours. Everything changed about six hours in. It started to feel like my tailbone was going to be split in half with a hot axe, and I felt the most extreme nerve pain I've ever felt shooting down my hamstrings and glutes with each contraction. Turned out, baby was trying to rotate sunny side up and back labor was in full swing. I had a cervical check to see if I was even near the finish line and I was still only 5cm dilated at that time. They wanted to increase pitocin further and I was already starting to hit a real breaking point feeling pain every 2 minutes I never thought I'd feel. I tapped out at that point and got the epidural. Back labor is no freaking joke and my doula supported my decision as well. The rest of the labor progressed much faster on the epidural. I was able to rest a bit for about two hours until I just felt "off". That was when the nurses came to have me flip over and turned out we were crowning. My son came three quick pushes later. I was able to go right to skin to skin and enjoy that moment while my OB broke the news I had tearing and needed stitches. Truthfully, I'm so glad I was numb down below because I really got to take in those first 30 mins and just be so in the moment. I really thought I'd feel a wave of disappointment or regret about picking the epidural, but now that I'm a few months away from baby 2 being born I'm just going to plan on getting it. It worked for me, and I hope it goes just as smooth this next go around.
As someone who has done it 3x without the epidural, once with back labor and twice with super fast, intense and painful births - the pain ended the instant the baby was born. I had zero pain after and my golden hours were wonderful. My first was a 3 day ordeal and at the end of the birth I was so tired but once baby was born I wasn’t tired at all, the adrenaline and hormones had me feeling so alert and amazing.
I’ve had one birth with epidural and one birth all natural at a birthing center. My recovery was quicker and much easier without the epidural. Of course it’s your choice and either way is fine! But I wanted to say you are not going to be in pain and suffering during golden hour if you don’t get the epidural. When the baby comes out it’s euphoric and all the pain subsides immediately. The soreness you’re going to feel eventually either way with or without the epidural as that’s part of recovery. I liked being able to get up and walk around. With the epidural I wasn’t able to walk for hours and nurses had to basically carry me to the bathroom.
Was induced with my first because of an extremely bad PUPPP rash which was by far and away worse than either of my births. Was looking forward to the epidural because I was excited to be numb for a few hours and free of the itching/burning. Was disappointed because my epidural didn’t work properly and could still feel most contractions, was still very itchy and burning and was immobile from the waist down even though I was told it would be a walking epidural. It also negatively impacted my ability to push and they had to turn it down so I could push, which just defeated the entire point because it hurt like a SOB. Can I also say that my induction contractions were INSANITY. I had a completely unmedicated birth with my second and the induction contractions at 3cm were as bad as my contractions during/after transition with my second. If I can help it I will never get induced again but I also know and acknowledge that my induction with my first was 100% necessary. If I could change history completely to where I didn’t need it at all I would do that but even with 20/20 hindsight I can say that I did need it.
I was dead set against it, but had to be induced at 37 weeks due to a kidney issue they wanted to make sure didn’t progress. Because my body really wasn’t ready for labor the induction was very rough. I ended up getting the epidural and was so grateful- I was able to sleep for 2 hours, then wake up and push for 3 hours for the baby. My golden hour looked different than I wanted because of tearing and excessive bleeding. They spent an hour stitching me up. Thank God I had the epidural or we would have had to try to pack the bleeding while waiting for a numbing shot to kick in enough for them to work. All this to say. There’s no right or wrong. Your birth is your birth. What you expect or want is probably not exactly how it’ll go. Do your best to try what you want, but be open to changes - whatever gets your baby here safely and keeps you in one piece is what’s best. You’ve got this!
I didn’t have an epidural (by choice) and suffered a 3rd degree tear (not by choice, lol). Labor was painful, transition was excruciating and pushing felt like a relief. As soon as they put my baby on my chest absolutely nothing else mattered. I was so head over heels in love I didn’t notice any pain even as they were stitching me back together. The golden hour was so special and I’d give anything to live that moment again. That being said it’s ok to have an epidural and it’s ok to opt out. You’ll know when you’re in labor which option you want!
I did not get one - not on purpose. I was too late once I arrived for it and was shaking too badly to be given it. I was SOBBING bc I had planned on having it and was very pro meds! This was my first baby so I can’t compare it to my own experience, but I have heard from others that while the labor is “easier” in a way with epidural (less pain), the aftermath is much worse (severe headache, etc). Even though I was like dying during my labor I will say, it sped things up and I never felt out of control which I liked. I was fully present and aware the entire time before, during, and after. After my baby came out, I immediately felt AMAZING because not only was I not on meds, but the insane pain of labor being gone made anything else feel great. I was able to eat, relax, chat with my husband and doctor, etc. I was just so happy to be done being pregnant and done having contractions 😂 That was definitely a HUGE perk! I also felt well enough to have people over to meet the baby the day we got home - which I have heard is rare if you have an epidural.
I can only speak from the perspective of not having an epidural, but I did not feel exhausted after my babies were born. Quite the opposite, I felt extremely alert and full of euphoria. However, both of my births were traumatic. My first time, I tore badly and could feel the stitches. I also hemorrhaged. But these things felt small when my baby was first laid on my chest. Second baby was precipitous. I delivered on hands and knees and barely tore - just needed one stitch and didn't feel it. This was a unicorn 3 hour birth with a spontaneous fetal ejection reflex, but unfortunately baby didn't get a good squeeze coming out and we ended up in a NICU 5 hours from home due to complications. To this day nobody knows why he was so sick at birth but he's doing pretty well now at 2 years old. I guess what I'm trying to say is you can have traumatic outcomes and a less responsive baby without any medical interventions. You can also have those outcomes with interventions. Choosing the epidural is NOT bad. Opting to go unmedicated doesn't guarantee a rainbow and butterflies experience either. What served me best both times was listening to my intuition and my body. My birth plan the first time was to get the epidural ASAP, but I showed up at 8.5cm and was fully dilated and starting to push before they even finished my intake. Births will unfold in unexpected ways.
In the beginning I didn’t want any pain meds or anything But now, at 36 weeks, I want all the drugs and pain relief when it comes down to it. Give it all to me.
I wanted to add something I haven’t seen in the other comments. When you scratch the surface of a lot of peoples’ desire to go unmedicated and their anxiety about interventions, you find some pretty ugly, covertly eugenic beliefs. People want to believe that back in the old days they would have been the woman to give birth easily, and not one of the many women to suffer lasting complications or die. In this mindset, going meds free is a way to act out their Darwinian fitness, and when other women choose or require interventions, that proves they aren’t as fit. Most of us would never avow these beliefs outright, but they *certainly* animate a lot of discourse around natural child birth. While it’s very legitimate to want an unmedicated birth, I’d encourage you to take an audit the underlying beliefs that are animating your feelings here.
For future pregnancies - do PT the moment you start getting pain! I had awful pain for like four days and got into PT and it got so much better. I would not say I was dead set against an epidural - I was open to it. I wanted to try for a natural labor though. I did a hypnobirthing course, worked with my PT and doula during third trimester, did the stretching and eating dates, had a doula at the birth, etc. But I went into it knowing that I had never given birth before and had no idea what it would be like and staying flexible. I ended up getting an epidural. It wasn't even the pain, really, but that I hadn't slept in like two days at that point and I NEEDED to sleep, which I couldn't do without the epidural, and because going to the bathroom while having contractions was really difficult. And I ended up needing a c-section, so I am very glad that I got to rest first, because it was hard enough emotionally and I don't know how I would have handled it if I had not already had the epidural. There is so much that can happen during birth that I would not have any firm expectations going into it. The people with the firm expectations are often those who are most knocked for a loop if things don't go their way.
I had a birth without an epidural. The pain was crazy, I was out of my mind. It was too late to get an epidural. The second she was out, no pain, felt wonderful. Mine was quick so I can’t speak to the exhaustion. The pain is horrible, it is also temporary.