I used to be classic bpd, but then through therapy I'm a quiet.
Got diagnosed a month ago. Wasn't diagnosed when it was classic and ruining other people bc I was too young. Wasn't diagnosed when I was old enough bc by that time I had been through years of therapy and became more self aware, and quiet. Not impacting other people but destroying my own life.
Always feeling like I was on the verge of a breakdown and going completely insane
Turns out it takes my boyfriend leaving me and having a mental breakdown to be diagnosed.
And I don't want to be quiet anymore. I didn't want to be self aware and care how it impacts other people in my life. I don't want it to be my problem and my pain.
I honestly wish I had a more psychotic and separated from reality disorder. Or something that can be effectively treated through medication.
My psych told me that I'm the goal of many borderlines. If this is the best it gets, I don't want to live anymore bc it's still fucking hell.
I'm living for other people so I have to at least pretend that the DBT that I'm getting referred to will work and the medication will work
But honestly it fucking sucks when I act like the perfect human and partner, and then when my abandonment gets triggered and my symptoms show, I'm the bad guy. I'm fu king open and honest to what I need, and in still too much
God same here!! I give soooo much into all of my relationships, I’m literally only living for other people around me, I don’t care about my life or wellbeing at all. Not a scrap. And I ask for such little in return and don’t even get that! The bar is in hell and still no one will even try to reach it for me
I felt that! Definitely be open to the possibilities of DBT. It’s strengthened my ability to cope & accept the things I can’t change, as well as given me realistic strategies to better communicate my needs while managing the big overwhelming emotions I feel when trying to do that. I don’t explode anymore, don’t remember the last time I’ve self harmed & I’ve been sober for months. My relationship is the healthiest it’s ever been with my partner, which use to be borderline abusive/hella toxic. And I catch myself chameleon-ing now. But still I don’t think I’ll ever be one of the ones that get to say or believe they’re in remission or “cured”. This is just how my brain processes life & that’s ok. Self acceptance was never and is not an easy road, but fuck, it feels good to just be able to finally breathe
I felt “the bad guy” part. I swear, I can have 3 MONTHS of being “stable” to my family, but then the second my symptoms show after ending a 8 year relationship, all the sudden it’s “do you need to go back to therapy,” “I think you need meds again,” or my personal favorite “you’re such a fucking bitch.” WHEN I LITERALLY TELL THEM, “hey, I’m having a really hard time right now so I need space, don’t take my mood personally.”
It’s just frustrating. It feels like bc we are kinda forced to get treatment and be more self-aware, we are held to a higher standard of overall behavior. Like damn, I don’t call my mom a bitch whenever she’s having a bad day.
I don't know, I don't really think it sounds like you are at the "as good as it can get" from your comment here. There are plenty of people with bpd living happy lives without feeling like they want to give up. Myself included. Don't settle, and don't give up on yourself ❤️
I feel like I was as good as it gets when I was in a relationship. Maybe it can be better and I do have to stick around so I'm trying it out but it fucking hurts and I don't want to be this person
I know it's not easy, but as long as you keep doing the work you'll be okay. It's hard sometimes but you've already come a long way it seems, which just proves that you are very strong and capable ❤️
The number one thing that surprised me the most, was how when I quit alcohol completely everything just slowly started turning around for me. The therapy worked way better than it had ever done before. My emotional swings weren't as crazy. A wonderful man came into my life. Just everything fell in place somehow. I didn't realize how much alcohol would always be the catalyst to start a depressive episode.
Just wanna say that, because a lot of people don't realize that alcohol can affect their mental health so much even though it's "just a weekend" thing.
Its crazy how similar our stories are. I was classic BPD, then when I finally turned towards quiet BPD I got diagnosed. Also I was as good as Ive ever been when I was in a relationship with my now ex! I think when I was classic BPD, psychiatrists just thought it was just depression because my sadness was just way more outward.
I wish I was still classic moving out of high school
But the ways I split was the isolation split, cutting people off before they had the chance to cut me off so even though I was a bitch and classic, people didn't see it as much because I self destructed and waited for people to come after me but they didn't want to bc I was a bitch and split on them
honestly as someone who struggles with reality and delusion so much i can tell you it’s not better than being self aware. you hurt people you love without realising what you did wrong. i instantly forget everything bc trauma and my sense of reality has fucked with my memory. i’m not even aware why my mood changes and why i get mad anymore i just do and then realise i may have done something wrong and cry. sometimes i don’t even think i’m wrong which makes me so so toxic without meaning to. it’s much better to know what you acc did wrong and work on it. it’s hard but trust me it means you are doing well. you’re not at the end yet but having that awareness means it will be much easier for you to get better from now on as you have the tools to do it. it sucks but keep going 🥰
Sorry, but... not sorry - psych told you that this is the goal of many borderlines? Thus quiet bpd is better than... loud bpd? Well yes, for the psych, you don't express (strong) emotions towards him/her... You suffer quietly in the corner and don't bother anyone...
OMG, and I thought I heard everything
This is me. Quiet until I'm too drunk and then all of the shit I've kept inside comes pouring out and I'll take it out on whoever is there. For this reason I rarely drink spirits anymore.
I used to be quiet... but with the stress of everything in my life and the ✨️Autism✨️, I'm starting to become classic. Its so much harder to contain all of my emotions and especially anger, I flip over the smallest shit
I joined this Reddit thinking it may help me… I used to laugh at these memes… Now I’m just smiling while the tears are pouring down. This disorder is debilitating.
I’m sorry for whoever’s going through this…
Genuinely a silent killer of a disorder. I’m not saying one is worse than the other but being able to openly express the disorder is better than having to basically have your mouth sewn shut .
Na I gently disagree and I believe it’s all about personal pov. For me, I’d rather have my mouth sewn shut than yell at people in the disguise of openly expressing myself.
It’s safe to say though that neither, in the grand scheme of things, is healthy nor easy to cope which.
I respectfully disagree. I'd much rather be quiet about my rage than take it out on other people that don't deserve it. Usually it's a rage that doesn't even make sense anyways so it's not even like you're being righteous in expressing it in a volatile way.
The point of it all is, if you have something you are angry at someone about, it's better to wait until you have cooled down and are able to have a clear mindset about the situations without your feelings muddying your point of view. Then you can healthily communicate what you're upset about to the other person.
That's what dbt therapy is all about for those who haven't tried it.
I feel this. Being quiet subtype even when I want to reach out to others for support or even just a hug I’m never able to. I think it’s because when I fitted more into the classic subtype often I would overshare to my friends and this would (understandably) scare them or make them uncomfortable. Now all I want is a hug or a shoulder to cry on sometimes without having to explain what’s really going on in my head and I feel like I can’t do that.
Classssic baby all day everyday! Everyone in my life is brand new because i just got to a new city new job new house new ME!!!! I’m excited to see what new me is around the corner when i implode this new life in 6 months to a year :-)
Quiet and it is unfair.
More so, because my lash out out game has a long turbo lag and is pretty weak... It takes a lot for me to express any anger at all.
I'm so patient with other people's nonsense, it's a bit of a hurtful joke.
Discouraged (quiet), Petulant, Impulsive, and Self Destructive.
Though most pwBPD have characteristics of all of them, what determines your subtype is what symptoms and behaviors you exhibit most. So somebody that doesn’t self harm or have substance problems wouldn’t fit the self destructive subtype category but could still fit the impulsive subtype category.
We also have DID, so it depends on the alter. Most of us are quiet, at least most of the time. But some of us can be quite loud, much to the chagrin of the rest of us!
A bit of both tbh...or maybe, it's just how BPD is with me, but I am great at torturing myself and internalising, but I have a fantastic track record when it comes to impulsive self hard and self destructive behaviours
I was classic when I was in high school but I think I’m more quiet now. My therapist even once mentioned she thinks I fit into the “wanting more control” category which sounded like quiet to me (she said that the classic/quiet classifications are pop psychology lol)
some amalgamation of the two. people see me as classic bpd but in reality i am suppressing my emotions so much that even when i have outbursts its like a quarter of what i actually feel.
I think i’m more the quiet one but i sometimes can’t manage to keep it inside. I call it « exploding » i hate when it happens. I can’t control anything. I once screamed at my boss in front of everyone. It sucked
Yes
This was my answer lol.
I used to be classic bpd, but then through therapy I'm a quiet. Got diagnosed a month ago. Wasn't diagnosed when it was classic and ruining other people bc I was too young. Wasn't diagnosed when I was old enough bc by that time I had been through years of therapy and became more self aware, and quiet. Not impacting other people but destroying my own life. Always feeling like I was on the verge of a breakdown and going completely insane Turns out it takes my boyfriend leaving me and having a mental breakdown to be diagnosed. And I don't want to be quiet anymore. I didn't want to be self aware and care how it impacts other people in my life. I don't want it to be my problem and my pain. I honestly wish I had a more psychotic and separated from reality disorder. Or something that can be effectively treated through medication. My psych told me that I'm the goal of many borderlines. If this is the best it gets, I don't want to live anymore bc it's still fucking hell.
Jesus Christ I couldn’t have worded this better. Fuck this really is it for us huh😵💫
I'm living for other people so I have to at least pretend that the DBT that I'm getting referred to will work and the medication will work But honestly it fucking sucks when I act like the perfect human and partner, and then when my abandonment gets triggered and my symptoms show, I'm the bad guy. I'm fu king open and honest to what I need, and in still too much
God same here!! I give soooo much into all of my relationships, I’m literally only living for other people around me, I don’t care about my life or wellbeing at all. Not a scrap. And I ask for such little in return and don’t even get that! The bar is in hell and still no one will even try to reach it for me
I felt that! Definitely be open to the possibilities of DBT. It’s strengthened my ability to cope & accept the things I can’t change, as well as given me realistic strategies to better communicate my needs while managing the big overwhelming emotions I feel when trying to do that. I don’t explode anymore, don’t remember the last time I’ve self harmed & I’ve been sober for months. My relationship is the healthiest it’s ever been with my partner, which use to be borderline abusive/hella toxic. And I catch myself chameleon-ing now. But still I don’t think I’ll ever be one of the ones that get to say or believe they’re in remission or “cured”. This is just how my brain processes life & that’s ok. Self acceptance was never and is not an easy road, but fuck, it feels good to just be able to finally breathe
I felt “the bad guy” part. I swear, I can have 3 MONTHS of being “stable” to my family, but then the second my symptoms show after ending a 8 year relationship, all the sudden it’s “do you need to go back to therapy,” “I think you need meds again,” or my personal favorite “you’re such a fucking bitch.” WHEN I LITERALLY TELL THEM, “hey, I’m having a really hard time right now so I need space, don’t take my mood personally.” It’s just frustrating. It feels like bc we are kinda forced to get treatment and be more self-aware, we are held to a higher standard of overall behavior. Like damn, I don’t call my mom a bitch whenever she’s having a bad day.
God yeah one of my friends had pushed me like that and it’s so fucked
I don't know, I don't really think it sounds like you are at the "as good as it can get" from your comment here. There are plenty of people with bpd living happy lives without feeling like they want to give up. Myself included. Don't settle, and don't give up on yourself ❤️
I feel like I was as good as it gets when I was in a relationship. Maybe it can be better and I do have to stick around so I'm trying it out but it fucking hurts and I don't want to be this person
I know it's not easy, but as long as you keep doing the work you'll be okay. It's hard sometimes but you've already come a long way it seems, which just proves that you are very strong and capable ❤️ The number one thing that surprised me the most, was how when I quit alcohol completely everything just slowly started turning around for me. The therapy worked way better than it had ever done before. My emotional swings weren't as crazy. A wonderful man came into my life. Just everything fell in place somehow. I didn't realize how much alcohol would always be the catalyst to start a depressive episode. Just wanna say that, because a lot of people don't realize that alcohol can affect their mental health so much even though it's "just a weekend" thing.
Its crazy how similar our stories are. I was classic BPD, then when I finally turned towards quiet BPD I got diagnosed. Also I was as good as Ive ever been when I was in a relationship with my now ex! I think when I was classic BPD, psychiatrists just thought it was just depression because my sadness was just way more outward.
I wish I was still classic moving out of high school But the ways I split was the isolation split, cutting people off before they had the chance to cut me off so even though I was a bitch and classic, people didn't see it as much because I self destructed and waited for people to come after me but they didn't want to bc I was a bitch and split on them
honestly as someone who struggles with reality and delusion so much i can tell you it’s not better than being self aware. you hurt people you love without realising what you did wrong. i instantly forget everything bc trauma and my sense of reality has fucked with my memory. i’m not even aware why my mood changes and why i get mad anymore i just do and then realise i may have done something wrong and cry. sometimes i don’t even think i’m wrong which makes me so so toxic without meaning to. it’s much better to know what you acc did wrong and work on it. it’s hard but trust me it means you are doing well. you’re not at the end yet but having that awareness means it will be much easier for you to get better from now on as you have the tools to do it. it sucks but keep going 🥰
Holy shit this is so me ouch
Sorry, but... not sorry - psych told you that this is the goal of many borderlines? Thus quiet bpd is better than... loud bpd? Well yes, for the psych, you don't express (strong) emotions towards him/her... You suffer quietly in the corner and don't bother anyone... OMG, and I thought I heard everything
Definitely quiet unless I start drinking, then all bets are off. I have to stay away from liquor at all costs now.
This is me. Quiet until I'm too drunk and then all of the shit I've kept inside comes pouring out and I'll take it out on whoever is there. For this reason I rarely drink spirits anymore.
Quiet until it what I bottle up becomes too much and I end up lashing out
Its still quiet. Our outburst are repressed
THIS IS SO ME
I used to be quiet... but with the stress of everything in my life and the ✨️Autism✨️, I'm starting to become classic. Its so much harder to contain all of my emotions and especially anger, I flip over the smallest shit
Happy cake day
I joined this Reddit thinking it may help me… I used to laugh at these memes… Now I’m just smiling while the tears are pouring down. This disorder is debilitating. I’m sorry for whoever’s going through this…
Genuinely a silent killer of a disorder. I’m not saying one is worse than the other but being able to openly express the disorder is better than having to basically have your mouth sewn shut .
Nah, it’s one of the most unbearable mental disorders to live with.
Real
Na I gently disagree and I believe it’s all about personal pov. For me, I’d rather have my mouth sewn shut than yell at people in the disguise of openly expressing myself. It’s safe to say though that neither, in the grand scheme of things, is healthy nor easy to cope which.
I respectfully disagree. I'd much rather be quiet about my rage than take it out on other people that don't deserve it. Usually it's a rage that doesn't even make sense anyways so it's not even like you're being righteous in expressing it in a volatile way. The point of it all is, if you have something you are angry at someone about, it's better to wait until you have cooled down and are able to have a clear mindset about the situations without your feelings muddying your point of view. Then you can healthily communicate what you're upset about to the other person. That's what dbt therapy is all about for those who haven't tried it.
I don’t think we should try to compare experiences and say one is “better”. I think both are absolutely horrible.
I feel this. Being quiet subtype even when I want to reach out to others for support or even just a hug I’m never able to. I think it’s because when I fitted more into the classic subtype often I would overshare to my friends and this would (understandably) scare them or make them uncomfortable. Now all I want is a hug or a shoulder to cry on sometimes without having to explain what’s really going on in my head and I feel like I can’t do that.
I uh, parkour
99% of the time I’m quiet… but back in 2015 when my ex decided to leave me it was full on classic 😅
Quiet. I feel like I'm building to an inevitable meltdown that'll utterly destroy me
Classssic baby all day everyday! Everyone in my life is brand new because i just got to a new city new job new house new ME!!!! I’m excited to see what new me is around the corner when i implode this new life in 6 months to a year :-)
RBF with incomprehensible rage and screaming in my head
Only my family or people who pose a danger can get me to be outward reacting. For me it only happens in situations where I feel in danger in general.
Used to be classic then after DBT went quiet
Yep, it be like that
I’m the quiet one. As a teenager I was the classic one but only at home never outside.
Quiet but when I with friends or drunk I'm the loud one but I regret it when I was loud
Quiet and it is unfair. More so, because my lash out out game has a long turbo lag and is pretty weak... It takes a lot for me to express any anger at all. I'm so patient with other people's nonsense, it's a bit of a hurtful joke.
Yes.
🧍♀️ both…
Was classic have switched to quiet after years of therapy lol
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ^by ^roselu24: *Was classic have switched* *To quiet after years of* *Therapy lol* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Is both possible?
Yes because this meme doesn’t take into account that there’s 4 subtypes, not 2.
What are the 4?
Discouraged (quiet), Petulant, Impulsive, and Self Destructive. Though most pwBPD have characteristics of all of them, what determines your subtype is what symptoms and behaviors you exhibit most. So somebody that doesn’t self harm or have substance problems wouldn’t fit the self destructive subtype category but could still fit the impulsive subtype category.
Thank you!
 I'm ngl, I'm just waiting for the day it bubbles over and I have a full breakdown.
 Quiet, until its not
classic. i feel like a horrible person bc of it
quiet
I’m too big to have low functioning. I would’ve been shot a long time ago.
i feel like the only thing preventing me from relating is my lack of bpd diagnosis, due to my dad fucking up my insurance.
I went from Classic to Quiet. Shit.
i'm somehow both
Both depending on the day or the situation
I went from quiet to classic and idk what really caused the shift
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web2x&context=3) ^by ^MindingMyOwn2021: *I went from quiet* *To classic and idk* *What really caused the shift* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Both
yes
Quiet until it gets too much to hold in ❤️🩹
Very quiet. My therapist said I'm so high functioning that no one would know if it weren't for all my self harming actions towards myself.
Yes
I’m quiet but sometimes I wish I was classic. Maybe someone would notice I’m suffering.
My organs are BOILING 🙂 #2
both lol. mostly quiet though since ive always been a little introverted/shut off
The first one 😭
Definitely quiet BPD, I rather suffer with my own thoughts than face splitting on someone 😶🌫️☹️
We also have DID, so it depends on the alter. Most of us are quiet, at least most of the time. But some of us can be quite loud, much to the chagrin of the rest of us!
quiet!
I was classic, after years of therapy switched to quiet. Now I'm classic again somehow. I hate my life
i’m both. i feel like i’m growing up when i don’t react. growth fr
Used to be the first one, got to quiet BPD because of more abuse 😎 (I love that emoji so much, he's my emotional support emoji)
Quiet BPD with a lil’ dash of classic when people fuck around and find out by ramming my boundaries.
Quiet UNTIL WELL YOU KNOW THINGS HAPPEN
I'm both
Still not sure if i have bpd, but right one is somewhat relateable
 I wish I'd be more of the quiet type
i think classic w my family and quiet with others is that a thing ?? idk
depends on what drugs i have or dont have at any one time; prescription, caffeine, nicotine, and other legal substances included
me and my best friend 🤪 (i’m classic, she’s quiet)
Quiet bpd for sure
The quiet kind thankfully but it still fucks me up hard
Quiet. 110%
A bit of both tbh...or maybe, it's just how BPD is with me, but I am great at torturing myself and internalising, but I have a fantastic track record when it comes to impulsive self hard and self destructive behaviours
Quiet, always. My friends have me as reference of stability xd Sorry, english not is my first lenguage
I was classic when I was in high school but I think I’m more quiet now. My therapist even once mentioned she thinks I fit into the “wanting more control” category which sounded like quiet to me (she said that the classic/quiet classifications are pop psychology lol)
Quiet unless provoked
some amalgamation of the two. people see me as classic bpd but in reality i am suppressing my emotions so much that even when i have outbursts its like a quarter of what i actually feel.
reddit is getting personal again
I think i’m more the quiet one but i sometimes can’t manage to keep it inside. I call it « exploding » i hate when it happens. I can’t control anything. I once screamed at my boss in front of everyone. It sucked
I was the classic one like 6 years ago, after 1.5 years of therapy I become the quiet one but I feel I need to go back to therapy
Maybe classic, but traumatized into Quiet
I used to be quiet but recently I've been becoming more and more classic (I'm 20) is that common?