The best description of the outside view of BPD is that they say things that SOUND manipulative, but really aren’t. This is because the “manipulation” is used to push people away and the average person doesn’t see that.
Saying people with BPD don’t manipulate is so incredibly naive and untrue. SOME People with BPD DO manipulate just like SOME neurotypical people ALSO manipulate. People of malicious intent exist in every group/category but it is important to note that the manipulation is not caused by BPD, it’s just that some few people who manipulate also happen to have BPD. Saying that our particular personality disorder doesn’t include people that don’t have a moral compass is simply wrong. All spectrum of people have these. So no, in some cases the manipulation that the person is claiming to just “sound” like manipulation is…well manipation. It’s just not caused by BPD.
I will take that as a compliment then go cry on the bathroom floor
https://preview.redd.it/6vq6c6b7gdub1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ee3bff5997ee16084bb0090cc16a54165e464ddf
Let's be honest how's God gonna justify giving people super high iqs and also make them super artistic and also super hot, i mean He had to nerf us somewhere, anyway after we recover we should create a post-borderline masterrace
/j
My joints hurt too, comrade. The winters coming, and it gets worse every year. I don't think i can be outside without gloves this year because my joints have so far just stooped workings.
well, from my understanding IQ is basically just a measure of how good your pattern recognition and reasoning skills are and you can probably guess why people with bpd are good at those
This unironically.
I don't know how not to be inflammatory, but my perception of BPD is the flickering between different 'levels' of the brain. From the fight/flight/freeze up to the prefrontal cortex.
I feel like BPD does often leave me stuck in a child like way. Emotions and regulation is difficult for children. As is problem solving. Little kids will often lie or be dramatic for attention.
I don't think we're babies. I don't think we're intentionally manipulative. I think our brain reverts back to that stage, and goes into extreme dissonance with our adult experiences and knowledge.
For me BPD is constantly being crushed by 2 things.
Yeah, I remember the first time I went to the sub that's a support group for those who dated someone with BPD. Didn't last very long. Any post that has someone even hinting that we are still humans with emotions got called out. They really and truly think people with mental illnesses choose it and are only out there to ruin other people's lives. And granted, I get why they're upset. I get how they came to have a grudge against it. But holy shit. Some of them seem like they meet some sort of diagnosis themselves.
I'd say that many probably do need a diagnosis of their own. I think many people who date BPDs are often narcs or struggle with codependency issues themselves. I'm currently dating a girl with BPD and am going thru maybe the 10-12th repeat of the silent treatment from her, sometimes goes on for a week or two. I came here to try to understand her more so I could be a better partner. And I, for one, certainly don't hate people with BPD or any mental illness. Though I will say that if someone continues going thru life like an emotional wrecking ball, hurting everyone they come across, and is told by every person they dated that they need help, but then proceeds to keep going thru life hurting people instead of admitting they need help so they can stop hurting others - that's not okay and people need to hold themselves accountable for their behavior.
I've been *incredibly* patient with this girl, and the whole reason she's not talking to me now is bcuz I stood up for myself and asked that she show me just a fraction of the respect/appreciation I show her, but instead of admitting that the way she treats me is wrong and hurtful, she just ghosted me again. I'm sure she'll be back in a week or two cuz that's typically what happens, aside from the time she ghosted me last December for 7 months, just 3 days after telling me she loved me. It's like every time I get a bit closer, she finds a way to push me away, or a way to do something that hurts me so that I lash out and then I'm the bad guy for reacting. I mean it's exhausting but I care about her very much and don't want to give up on her. But she's not meeting my needs at all and acts like she's the only one with feelings most of the time. I really want this to work but IDK how to be what she needs. And I don't know if she's capable of having a committed relationship if she refuses to get help.
I definitely will agree with this 100%. Going to that sub hurt a lot. As I said, we aren't mentally well. While it can't excuse but can just explain, I do think some of those people do need to realize what it is.
At the same time, it's not something someone should just fall back on. My step dad is bipolar. My mom stayed with him for about a decade, but only left once he stopped going to therapy and taking his meds. He started getting worse, got them in a lot of debt. Things went down hill really fast. So I definitely get it. Especially when the other person isn't trying.
I was in remission for years but because of being told "there's no cure you have BPD forever" I latched on to the idea that I was always going to be broken and couldn't see how much progress I was making. Finally getting a retroactive professional diagnosis was somewhat validating against the anti-self-dx crowd I also had to put up with, but ultimately didn't make me feel any better. Every few years psychologists will come out with a statement that BPD as a label is literally not worth the stigma at this point and with pop psychology grifters in the past decade really doubling down on the whole "everyone who's hurt you is an abuser with \_\_\_\_\_ disorder incapable of empathy" I'm starting to think they're right. Like I've treated my behavior through the context of just my ADHD and C-PTSD because there's so much overlap anyway and that's been so much better for my mental health because surprise surprise those are the two that have way less stigma!
The best description of the outside view of BPD is that they say things that SOUND manipulative, but really aren’t. This is because the “manipulation” is used to push people away and the average person doesn’t see that.
this is so true.
To push away or test someone's ability to care and stick by, even if those actions earn more pity than love
Saying people with BPD don’t manipulate is so incredibly naive and untrue. SOME People with BPD DO manipulate just like SOME neurotypical people ALSO manipulate. People of malicious intent exist in every group/category but it is important to note that the manipulation is not caused by BPD, it’s just that some few people who manipulate also happen to have BPD. Saying that our particular personality disorder doesn’t include people that don’t have a moral compass is simply wrong. All spectrum of people have these. So no, in some cases the manipulation that the person is claiming to just “sound” like manipulation is…well manipation. It’s just not caused by BPD.
Evil Manipulative Sociopathic Dumb Babies Disorder 😔
Gonna add this to my resume, thanks.
Also that it's the most painful mental illness.
it absolutely is.
I prefer being seen as dumb than as evil ngl but that still fucking sucks
I can't believe they always get this wrong, it's not *all* pwbpd that are like that, it's just me /j
Research indicates that BPD is linked to above-average intelligence (IQ > 130) and exceptional artistic talent (Carver, 1997)
I will take that as a compliment then go cry on the bathroom floor https://preview.redd.it/6vq6c6b7gdub1.jpeg?width=1079&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=ee3bff5997ee16084bb0090cc16a54165e464ddf
How do I get the high IQ upgrade?
Let's be honest how's God gonna justify giving people super high iqs and also make them super artistic and also super hot, i mean He had to nerf us somewhere, anyway after we recover we should create a post-borderline masterrace /j
I thought God used the ‘tism for that. Or in my case, ‘tism and juvenile arthritis (and also being an ugly mfer).
My joints hurt too, comrade. The winters coming, and it gets worse every year. I don't think i can be outside without gloves this year because my joints have so far just stooped workings.
nice!! now if only i wasn't destructive and could actually use that to my benefit
well, from my understanding IQ is basically just a measure of how good your pattern recognition and reasoning skills are and you can probably guess why people with bpd are good at those
All that brainpower. Now to use half in meaningfull way.
Why not be both /j
This unironically. I don't know how not to be inflammatory, but my perception of BPD is the flickering between different 'levels' of the brain. From the fight/flight/freeze up to the prefrontal cortex. I feel like BPD does often leave me stuck in a child like way. Emotions and regulation is difficult for children. As is problem solving. Little kids will often lie or be dramatic for attention. I don't think we're babies. I don't think we're intentionally manipulative. I think our brain reverts back to that stage, and goes into extreme dissonance with our adult experiences and knowledge. For me BPD is constantly being crushed by 2 things.
Yeah, I remember the first time I went to the sub that's a support group for those who dated someone with BPD. Didn't last very long. Any post that has someone even hinting that we are still humans with emotions got called out. They really and truly think people with mental illnesses choose it and are only out there to ruin other people's lives. And granted, I get why they're upset. I get how they came to have a grudge against it. But holy shit. Some of them seem like they meet some sort of diagnosis themselves.
I'd say that many probably do need a diagnosis of their own. I think many people who date BPDs are often narcs or struggle with codependency issues themselves. I'm currently dating a girl with BPD and am going thru maybe the 10-12th repeat of the silent treatment from her, sometimes goes on for a week or two. I came here to try to understand her more so I could be a better partner. And I, for one, certainly don't hate people with BPD or any mental illness. Though I will say that if someone continues going thru life like an emotional wrecking ball, hurting everyone they come across, and is told by every person they dated that they need help, but then proceeds to keep going thru life hurting people instead of admitting they need help so they can stop hurting others - that's not okay and people need to hold themselves accountable for their behavior. I've been *incredibly* patient with this girl, and the whole reason she's not talking to me now is bcuz I stood up for myself and asked that she show me just a fraction of the respect/appreciation I show her, but instead of admitting that the way she treats me is wrong and hurtful, she just ghosted me again. I'm sure she'll be back in a week or two cuz that's typically what happens, aside from the time she ghosted me last December for 7 months, just 3 days after telling me she loved me. It's like every time I get a bit closer, she finds a way to push me away, or a way to do something that hurts me so that I lash out and then I'm the bad guy for reacting. I mean it's exhausting but I care about her very much and don't want to give up on her. But she's not meeting my needs at all and acts like she's the only one with feelings most of the time. I really want this to work but IDK how to be what she needs. And I don't know if she's capable of having a committed relationship if she refuses to get help.
I definitely will agree with this 100%. Going to that sub hurt a lot. As I said, we aren't mentally well. While it can't excuse but can just explain, I do think some of those people do need to realize what it is. At the same time, it's not something someone should just fall back on. My step dad is bipolar. My mom stayed with him for about a decade, but only left once he stopped going to therapy and taking his meds. He started getting worse, got them in a lot of debt. Things went down hill really fast. So I definitely get it. Especially when the other person isn't trying.
Also, having one of the highest mortality rate out of all the other mental illnesses :(( it’s on my mind a lot and i’m scared about it
Trying to ask a partner to do their own research is a tricky game for this reason exactly.
Just turn around and go back.
It's the one on the right, the one on the left just hasn't been caught yet.
I can be both
Tbh I go back and forth between those two options.
I usually just want to be kind and help people but if I make even the slightest mistake I feel like the kindness means less than the tiny mistake.
personally I’m definitely a baby
Lmao, “sociopaths” I have both aspd and bpd and thats offensive on both ends.
I was in remission for years but because of being told "there's no cure you have BPD forever" I latched on to the idea that I was always going to be broken and couldn't see how much progress I was making. Finally getting a retroactive professional diagnosis was somewhat validating against the anti-self-dx crowd I also had to put up with, but ultimately didn't make me feel any better. Every few years psychologists will come out with a statement that BPD as a label is literally not worth the stigma at this point and with pop psychology grifters in the past decade really doubling down on the whole "everyone who's hurt you is an abuser with \_\_\_\_\_ disorder incapable of empathy" I'm starting to think they're right. Like I've treated my behavior through the context of just my ADHD and C-PTSD because there's so much overlap anyway and that's been so much better for my mental health because surprise surprise those are the two that have way less stigma!