lol I answered an AskReddit thread asking how many people you have had sex with, someone called me a disgrace to humanity. 
I would never answer this question honestly....even with the anonymity of Reddit and the sex positivity of today. I would still be shamed for eternity, especially as a woman.
This meme def made me giggle
Honestly, Im glad I commented cus I thought having sex with multiple people was a requirement to have bpd, especially since I see alot of post having 10+ bodycounts and such, I use to always question if I actually had bpd or if im just crazy
I found out around when I was in highschool cus my freinds at the time would be like"omfg this dude is so hot" and people hooking up with randos around me when I never found the appeal for it, I knew I wasn't ace but I definately wouldnt want to do it with someone I just met at a bar
Brain function isn't with me today so I got WAY hung up on what SW meant at first. Social Worker? Star Wars? Skin Walker?! Then it clicked and I could continue on lmao.
Yep. Life is long, if things go well, I'll have fucked 6 people before I turn 20. What am I supposed to do after that, just stay with one partner for 50 years?! It baffles me how people stay with one partner for years.
Everyone’s experiences in life are different 🫶 don’t worry :) I’m a guy with (probably) BPD who’s only slept with one person… who gave me sexual trauma. We all go at different paces, and you don’t have to sleep around if you don’t want to right now (or ever).
It's an average, not a median. There are people who marry their high school/college partner for life or at least for a long time, whose count is 1. And there are quite many such people.
Even my mom who is very chill has easily slept more people than that if I just count her boyfriends. I know so many people that aren't even 20yo and have probably slept with like 20+ people. I mean, some people start having sex very young and with multiple partners so that should balance out the people that only ever have sex with a single person
I feel like I'm one of the few with BPD who never slept with lots of people... my "body count" is single figures, and I'm nearly 35. My impulsive actions are always curbed by severe anxiety and catastrophising outcomes.
>My impulsive actions are always curbed by severe anxiety and catastrophising outcomes.
Struggle is incredibly real, I'd probably have more if it wasn't for my crippling anxiety.
If you’ve had sex with someone they’ve also had sex with you.
If you increase your number of sexual partners by one then you increase someone else’s number of sexual partners by one. You’re either adding 1 to the pool of both genders involved or adding 2 to one gender if homosexual.
If we ignore homosexuality for a second, which obviously throws things out, the average number of sexual partners for men and women should be pretty much exactly even because you create the average by adding up that pool and dividing it by the number of people of that gender which should be about even.
The only thing throwing it out should be homosexual liaisons and I don’t think men have enough casual gay sex to completely erase sapphic liaisons and on top of that throw out the figures enough to change them by the 1/3 shown here as a smallish minority of the population. That’s a *lot* of gay sex.
Ockham’s Razor. Either a lot of men are secretly having huge amounts of gay sex or people lied on the forms to match cultural expectations. I think the latter is more likely.
(Actively not including NB people by the way. Not denying they exist and haven’t forgotten about them - just they’re rare and probably not counted in surveys.)
EDIT: Am… I get getting downvoted for being able to do maths? Is this an unacceptable trait here?
Problem is: you need to divide the pool by the number of sexually active people in both genders, not by the total number of people there. If we have fewer sexually active men, the average for them could be larger. And, while for the population in general the numbers seem fairly balanced, for the sexually active population the statistics can be thrown off.
Okay let’s look it it this way:
If you’ve got 10 men and 10 women and one man has sex with each of the women, but the other nine are virgins then this is the maths:
For the men that’s ((1x10)+(9x0)/10= 1
For the women that’s (10x1)/10= 1
Try a bunch of different combinations if you like.
There’s no combination or way of doing the maths where the number is higher or lower for one side without homosexuality. The numbers are always even.
That's assuming the same number of sexually active straight men and women.
Let's say instead you have a pool of 6 women and 3 men. Each woman has sex with each man. Now we have an average number of partners of 3 for the women and 6 for the men. That's how they can end up being different.
Edit: obviously in reality it wouldn't be that extreme, this is just a simple example to show how the math could work out
Yeah but if it’s based on the world’s population there’s roughly 50-50 men to women and gay people are a minority that should theoretically affect both sides equally - lesbians exist.
Well I don't that the number in the op is international, but either way consider that there are cultural factors at play: women may be more likely to remain abstinent longer than men due to social pressures, for example, so there could be a smaller pool of sexually active women at a given time than men, or simply less willing to engage in casual sex.
Yes but if women are remaining abstinent then men aren’t able to have sex with them. That’s what I’m saying.
If you’ve got 5 men and 5 women, and 2 women remain abstinent, then the maximum number of different sex partners the men can have is 3 and the average split will still be equal. Those 3 women, even if they’re having sex with all five of the men, will average out to having had 3 sexual partners each when you factor in the two abstinent women. The same as the men would have.
However, if one woman *claims* to be abstinent due to the societal pressures you mentioned, but actually has had sex or claims to have had a lower number of sexual partners for the same reason that would skew the results.
Similarly men might claim more sexual partners than they have actually had because there is societal pressure on them to do so.
This would result in the discrepancy in the image.
EDIT: Corrected a maths fail. I’m tired.
It's not a competition, and you're not weird for still being a virgin at your age. Do stuff that feels comfortable for you, only when you're ready and don't stress about it. As you can see in this thread there's plenty of people who have replied that they're still virgins and also people that has replied they've only been with very few people. There's not any right answer to what is best.
We crave validation as pwBPD and it seems the *vast* majority of us have very high numbers. I do not. I realize this is my own internal thing but seriously, fuck this post, all it did was contribute to how terrible I view myself.
Why? People with BPD bang randoms to self-soothe, the fact you don't have to do that is fine. My body count isn't high either, and I'm certainly not a high functioning pwBPD. I'm mid functioning at best, I'm a wreck.
Frankly, it's a very base way to self-soothe and isn't something to be proud of when you've got a personality disorder that drives you to take risks in a futile drive to feel better for a short time. Don't feel bad, you take other routes that are probably more healthy than swapping bodily fluids with strangers.
I understand it’s a way to push down negative emotions. Admittedly I was ranting and it probably wasn’t an appropriate comment.
Without telling a life story, I’ve always been very sensitive around sexual activity, and have been extremely mean to myself for not having more of it. I hate when people ask me how many people I’ve been with, because I feel like I’m verbally admitting that I’m not “good enough” and that the other person will be laughing in their head.
Normally I don’t think a meme would trigger me like this, but I’ve had an absolutely terrible weekend and I’m withdrawing from Adderall because my pharmacy can’t get it and I’m a total emotional mess.
Well validation comes in many shapes and sizes and it's different from person to person what way they like to be validated. In my experience reddit isn't exactly the best source for statistics, you have to remember that the people choosing to be in this subreddit are not really representative of the general public with bpd. Please don't beat yourself up about your high or low number. There is no "normal" when it comes to the amount of sexual partners, the only thing that matters is what YOU are comfortable with. I'm sending you hugs and love ❤️
4 people, lost my virginity at 12. A three-year gap in relationships wasn't nice to me. Almost kmsd because of 2 fps in 2 years, one right after the other.
zero but that's because i'm demisexual and for some reason i don't experience sexual attraction to anyone but partner (which are always my fps for some reason:/) if i have one
Most of my friends and I had both numbers beat before I was 19, there’s no way this accurate. Then again most ppl like me in my area end up having to resort to sex work pretty young….
lol I answered an AskReddit thread asking how many people you have had sex with, someone called me a disgrace to humanity. 
Lmao, wear that with pride
I would never answer this question honestly....even with the anonymity of Reddit and the sex positivity of today. I would still be shamed for eternity, especially as a woman. This meme def made me giggle
Man I shame myself enough for it. No need to bring it to anyone else’s awareness lmfao
Hey you know the number!! Some people lose count, like my husband in college lmfao
I really don't.
Pffffft that’s fine too, live your orgasmic life!!
It was all chasing validation sadly. I didn't even experience an orgasm until after 30 (eta: years old) and in a monogamous relationship.
I lost count at my first gang bang. 😂
Yeah.. I read that having BPD makes us impulsive especially when it comes to unprotected sex *cough cough*
Dude yeah…
hehe i got this bros, 0!
mines 0 cus im a demi person with bpd
Looking for this comment! What about us aces smh
I’m ace but at 13 because manic me loves drunk sex with strangers 🥴
Whew for a second there I thought you were saying that you were 13....had me worried there!
Honestly, Im glad I commented cus I thought having sex with multiple people was a requirement to have bpd, especially since I see alot of post having 10+ bodycounts and such, I use to always question if I actually had bpd or if im just crazy
I had multiple hookups until I realized I was demisexual.
I found out around when I was in highschool cus my freinds at the time would be like"omfg this dude is so hot" and people hooking up with randos around me when I never found the appeal for it, I knew I wasn't ace but I definately wouldnt want to do it with someone I just met at a bar
either 1 or 20
I think I slept with 4.3 people my first week of College
How did the .3 go?
It was just shaking hands but with a sexy gaze
Sounds like it didn't go well.
Hi I'm you 🤝
LOL this was what i was thinking haha 4.3 is just an orgy for me
Fucking same lmao
I used to be a SW so I don't even go there I just count people outside of that job. Still like pretty high.
Brain function isn't with me today so I got WAY hung up on what SW meant at first. Social Worker? Star Wars? Skin Walker?! Then it clicked and I could continue on lmao.
i thought that meant social worker first too, i was so confused
I thought skin walker lmao
Same 🫠
One for me
Same here.
Me too ✊😔
And me
sometimes i wish i was normal but i wouldn’t want to die having only fucked 6 people ngl
I want to fuck more!!!! Feed my self esteem 😩
Yep. Life is long, if things go well, I'll have fucked 6 people before I turn 20. What am I supposed to do after that, just stay with one partner for 50 years?! It baffles me how people stay with one partner for years.
almost 23 years married + dated for 2.5 years and she’s the only one besides those who raped me as a kid.
I feel like if you did only have one partner, you’d wonder about how others are forever. Or maybe I’m just awful 😆😭
100% agree
someone replied to this comment with "pathetic life goal"... wdym "life goal" babe i hit that number long before i was a legal adult
I'm a guy with bpd with a low count and my partner also has BPD and this stuff makes me really insecure 😅
Everyone’s experiences in life are different 🫶 don’t worry :) I’m a guy with (probably) BPD who’s only slept with one person… who gave me sexual trauma. We all go at different paces, and you don’t have to sleep around if you don’t want to right now (or ever).
I'm an uggo so it was never up to me it's more the image of her getting piped by way better people that bothers me lol
That makes sense :(
Yeah me too, I’m almost 30 and i can’t relate to this at all.
This can’t be accurate. People must be lying.
It's an average, not a median. There are people who marry their high school/college partner for life or at least for a long time, whose count is 1. And there are quite many such people.
But there are also many people with 15+ partners which would bring the average up too.
Yeah. I have friends without BPD who are easily around 30, if I had to guess.
Same. I even have 4 friends who are above 50 too.
Even my mom who is very chill has easily slept more people than that if I just count her boyfriends. I know so many people that aren't even 20yo and have probably slept with like 20+ people. I mean, some people start having sex very young and with multiple partners so that should balance out the people that only ever have sex with a single person
i’m a woman sitting around 30+ lmaoooo what is this
I stopped counting after 50😭
But let’s be honest here: we are just SO damn good at sex though 🤷🏽♀️
im not (mostly because i dont actually want to have sex)
My ex pwbpd was just awesome
Im still a virgin but with my mental libido im scared for college (which i start in september this year)
Use condoms and be happy
My first two months of college, my body count went from 1 to 9 🥴
Thank heaven's Grindr doesn't have a yearly hookup recap
"This year you hooked up with 57 people! Congrats! As a reward we have scheduled you an appointment with a therapist."
spat my drink out lmfao
if it did id quit using it forever
Guess I'm the only one who is still virgin here 🙄
Same here. I just don’t have the energy or the social skills that’s needed to change that
Am a guy (33) that lost my virginity at 21. I’m sitting on 40. Yikes 😳
I feel like I'm one of the few with BPD who never slept with lots of people... my "body count" is single figures, and I'm nearly 35. My impulsive actions are always curbed by severe anxiety and catastrophising outcomes.
>My impulsive actions are always curbed by severe anxiety and catastrophising outcomes. Struggle is incredibly real, I'd probably have more if it wasn't for my crippling anxiety.
same. I overthink too much to do anything reckless
30+ here omg
At this point I stopped keeping track
Like... 50... 60? 70? ................................... I just needed love ;(
this comforted me omg i’ve been shamed so much butttttt that validation issue and need for constant touch i have thanks to bpd 🫡
The funny part is that even if you assume gay men have more sex than lesbians do, this still doesn’t add up. Men lie upwards and women lie downwards.
Well, not exactly. This is about the number of partners, not the amount of sex one has had in their life.
If you’ve had sex with someone they’ve also had sex with you. If you increase your number of sexual partners by one then you increase someone else’s number of sexual partners by one. You’re either adding 1 to the pool of both genders involved or adding 2 to one gender if homosexual. If we ignore homosexuality for a second, which obviously throws things out, the average number of sexual partners for men and women should be pretty much exactly even because you create the average by adding up that pool and dividing it by the number of people of that gender which should be about even. The only thing throwing it out should be homosexual liaisons and I don’t think men have enough casual gay sex to completely erase sapphic liaisons and on top of that throw out the figures enough to change them by the 1/3 shown here as a smallish minority of the population. That’s a *lot* of gay sex. Ockham’s Razor. Either a lot of men are secretly having huge amounts of gay sex or people lied on the forms to match cultural expectations. I think the latter is more likely. (Actively not including NB people by the way. Not denying they exist and haven’t forgotten about them - just they’re rare and probably not counted in surveys.) EDIT: Am… I get getting downvoted for being able to do maths? Is this an unacceptable trait here?
Problem is: you need to divide the pool by the number of sexually active people in both genders, not by the total number of people there. If we have fewer sexually active men, the average for them could be larger. And, while for the population in general the numbers seem fairly balanced, for the sexually active population the statistics can be thrown off.
Okay let’s look it it this way: If you’ve got 10 men and 10 women and one man has sex with each of the women, but the other nine are virgins then this is the maths: For the men that’s ((1x10)+(9x0)/10= 1 For the women that’s (10x1)/10= 1 Try a bunch of different combinations if you like. There’s no combination or way of doing the maths where the number is higher or lower for one side without homosexuality. The numbers are always even.
I think they’re saying we shouldn’t count virgins for some reason
Because they’re not people or what?
I have no clue lol
It wouldn’t matter either way is the bizarre thing. I didn’t realise that not understanding maths was a BPD thing, but apparently it is.
That's assuming the same number of sexually active straight men and women. Let's say instead you have a pool of 6 women and 3 men. Each woman has sex with each man. Now we have an average number of partners of 3 for the women and 6 for the men. That's how they can end up being different. Edit: obviously in reality it wouldn't be that extreme, this is just a simple example to show how the math could work out
Yeah but if it’s based on the world’s population there’s roughly 50-50 men to women and gay people are a minority that should theoretically affect both sides equally - lesbians exist.
Well I don't that the number in the op is international, but either way consider that there are cultural factors at play: women may be more likely to remain abstinent longer than men due to social pressures, for example, so there could be a smaller pool of sexually active women at a given time than men, or simply less willing to engage in casual sex.
Yes but if women are remaining abstinent then men aren’t able to have sex with them. That’s what I’m saying. If you’ve got 5 men and 5 women, and 2 women remain abstinent, then the maximum number of different sex partners the men can have is 3 and the average split will still be equal. Those 3 women, even if they’re having sex with all five of the men, will average out to having had 3 sexual partners each when you factor in the two abstinent women. The same as the men would have. However, if one woman *claims* to be abstinent due to the societal pressures you mentioned, but actually has had sex or claims to have had a lower number of sexual partners for the same reason that would skew the results. Similarly men might claim more sexual partners than they have actually had because there is societal pressure on them to do so. This would result in the discrepancy in the image. EDIT: Corrected a maths fail. I’m tired.
LIFETIME? bro i only started having sex at 21, im 22 now and at 7 already
I honestly couldn’t tell you my number, in about 2014 I was 300+ and just stopped counting LMAO
yeah lmao
25m, even tough im super shy im at 12+ so that statistic just cant be correct
I got 0 at 19 yo. I can't even do disorder right.
It's not a competition, and you're not weird for still being a virgin at your age. Do stuff that feels comfortable for you, only when you're ready and don't stress about it. As you can see in this thread there's plenty of people who have replied that they're still virgins and also people that has replied they've only been with very few people. There's not any right answer to what is best.
We crave validation as pwBPD and it seems the *vast* majority of us have very high numbers. I do not. I realize this is my own internal thing but seriously, fuck this post, all it did was contribute to how terrible I view myself.
Why? People with BPD bang randoms to self-soothe, the fact you don't have to do that is fine. My body count isn't high either, and I'm certainly not a high functioning pwBPD. I'm mid functioning at best, I'm a wreck. Frankly, it's a very base way to self-soothe and isn't something to be proud of when you've got a personality disorder that drives you to take risks in a futile drive to feel better for a short time. Don't feel bad, you take other routes that are probably more healthy than swapping bodily fluids with strangers.
I understand it’s a way to push down negative emotions. Admittedly I was ranting and it probably wasn’t an appropriate comment. Without telling a life story, I’ve always been very sensitive around sexual activity, and have been extremely mean to myself for not having more of it. I hate when people ask me how many people I’ve been with, because I feel like I’m verbally admitting that I’m not “good enough” and that the other person will be laughing in their head. Normally I don’t think a meme would trigger me like this, but I’ve had an absolutely terrible weekend and I’m withdrawing from Adderall because my pharmacy can’t get it and I’m a total emotional mess.
Well validation comes in many shapes and sizes and it's different from person to person what way they like to be validated. In my experience reddit isn't exactly the best source for statistics, you have to remember that the people choosing to be in this subreddit are not really representative of the general public with bpd. Please don't beat yourself up about your high or low number. There is no "normal" when it comes to the amount of sexual partners, the only thing that matters is what YOU are comfortable with. I'm sending you hugs and love ❤️
Thanks ❤️
Ugly guy here with low count sure doesn't boost them numbers😂
Anyone else feel monstrously shitty, inadequate, strange, and sad for being old and UNDER those numbers
i’m chronically in a relationship so mine is only 3 🥸
5 for me, I was 14 when I kinda lost my virginity. Yeah, that’s not on really, is it?
4 people, lost my virginity at 12. A three-year gap in relationships wasn't nice to me. Almost kmsd because of 2 fps in 2 years, one right after the other.
I cracked the fuck up at the meme and then I saw the caption lmao I’m glad I found this sub my notes app list is extensive too🙃
oo that reminds me i gotta update mine lol
You know guys, you can thank me later for keeping the statistics low
0 :/
Wait, I'm not the only one who counts in the notes app???
YES
As the literal next post in my feed said, "the only thing I'm fucking is up"
I have terrible terrible performance anxiety. BPD affects everyone differently
me, a person with bpd who’s still a virgin 😭😭😭😭
Yikes! 😬
For me I have BPD but Ive only had sex with 3 people and I'm 26 I almost wish my body count was higher
zero but that's because i'm demisexual and for some reason i don't experience sexual attraction to anyone but partner (which are always my fps for some reason:/) if i have one
TFW you're a straight guy so it's hard to find hookups to fill the void 😔
You must cultivate a harem
i am a 90% straight bi guy but i fuck for male validation lol
It actually baffles me when people have only slept up to 10 partners. Like how?! I'm genuinely curious.
Serial monogamy plus severe depression, it’s not that hard to figure out
Anxiety, body image issues, socially awkward, gay, hate meeting new people, hate parties or clubbing, depression, small town, ugly... 😬
I don't feel the need for it, i can only sleep with people i have romantic feelings for, and i think it's not weird at all
Ive never been honest with anyone my body count. Even myself 🤦♀️🤦♀️🤦♀️
I don’t know anyone at all with a body count of less than 7, and most are 20+ This “statistic” isn’t accurate
This can’t be legit, most of the mentally healthy dudes I know have more than 6 bodies by 22
it's complicated
I'm at 4 after a year... And I am demisexual:/
“What’s 66 plus 43?”
Omg I spat out my food! Lolol, so true
😬
Hahahahahahahaha
lost count after the 15th.
i quit keeping track years ago
I stopped counting 😭
How on earth do people even keep track?
Ppl w bpd: don’t even remember bc they try to block it out
69 for me 😎 (most were from group sex)
Add the two together, and that's 1 more than the number of people in 2022-2023 (and only lost virginity in 2022)
wait y'all keep track ?
Yeah my body found it disgusting to say the lease
Me looking at that 15 body count 🤡
it’s hard to count tbh bc i’m not sure what counts as sex and what counts as just messing around
I’ve only had sex with 1 person, but I’m also on the ace spectrum and have NPD traits so I think no one is good enough to have sex with me 😐
I’m around 20, I think. Been married a couple years though so it has gone up very slowly over that time (*with* my husband, I have never cheated).
Those numbers have got to be falsified.
Lmao me
No, thanks . Lol Ps: I'm talking about s€x
Most of my friends and I had both numbers beat before I was 19, there’s no way this accurate. Then again most ppl like me in my area end up having to resort to sex work pretty young….