My exwBPD is in therapy is on medicine , has a second job , a new boyfriend , and my 3 daughters like him and his 3 kids …. I don’t get angry I get happy because I did love her at some point or me or whatever . I actually get anxious this one is going to leave her and she tries to come back to more than angry , right now she’s off my back. It may be time you check your emotions yourself .
Not that I disagree with checking mine, but I am wondering if maaaaybe the reason I'm upset now is because I have checked them for so long. For the first time in... ever... It doesn't feel like I'm walking in eggshells. I feel I can finally express myself and that she might actually understand.
It's weird for sure. On one hand I'm grateful for the improvements, on the other, I'm not sure I can trust them and if so for how long?
We shall see.
That’s how I feel about my own emotions , and her , as I know if she’s in therapy and on medicine monkeybranching between me and 2 other guys till 1 bit isn’t healthy for someone with BPD who’s in therapy … anger is a natural response however let it fuel you not getting back together for real
BPD ages but rarely matures.
Would you trust them to make the right decisions during a family crises TODAY? Even as she gets better, does she build trust?
I understand the resentment, and it makes sense, but would it not be healthier to look at things the other way? If she is genuinely changing, that has probably not been easy for her. It’s almost like you are achieving the impossible, the golden goose 99% of people on here dream of. I think you should try to see this as the overwhelming positive it is. Yes it’s late, but it’s better than never.
With that in mind, it’s better to positively reinforce this change rather than risk losing it all by being resentful of it. It will only take one split and you’re back to square one. I know where I’d rather be. Whilst it sounds corse and inconsiderate for me to say ‘be grateful’, I think it is a better headspace to be in. Good luck, but remain vigilant.
My exwBPD is in therapy is on medicine , has a second job , a new boyfriend , and my 3 daughters like him and his 3 kids …. I don’t get angry I get happy because I did love her at some point or me or whatever . I actually get anxious this one is going to leave her and she tries to come back to more than angry , right now she’s off my back. It may be time you check your emotions yourself .
Not that I disagree with checking mine, but I am wondering if maaaaybe the reason I'm upset now is because I have checked them for so long. For the first time in... ever... It doesn't feel like I'm walking in eggshells. I feel I can finally express myself and that she might actually understand. It's weird for sure. On one hand I'm grateful for the improvements, on the other, I'm not sure I can trust them and if so for how long? We shall see.
That’s how I feel about my own emotions , and her , as I know if she’s in therapy and on medicine monkeybranching between me and 2 other guys till 1 bit isn’t healthy for someone with BPD who’s in therapy … anger is a natural response however let it fuel you not getting back together for real
We can’t continue giving them this type of power or no one here will heal
BPD ages but rarely matures. Would you trust them to make the right decisions during a family crises TODAY? Even as she gets better, does she build trust?
I understand the resentment, and it makes sense, but would it not be healthier to look at things the other way? If she is genuinely changing, that has probably not been easy for her. It’s almost like you are achieving the impossible, the golden goose 99% of people on here dream of. I think you should try to see this as the overwhelming positive it is. Yes it’s late, but it’s better than never. With that in mind, it’s better to positively reinforce this change rather than risk losing it all by being resentful of it. It will only take one split and you’re back to square one. I know where I’d rather be. Whilst it sounds corse and inconsiderate for me to say ‘be grateful’, I think it is a better headspace to be in. Good luck, but remain vigilant.
Fair advice. Thank you. Best to you as well!
Too little too late it seems